Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 4, Episode 38 - Beaver's Doll Buggy - full transcript

Starring...

and...

Hello?

Hello.

I'm sorry, he isn't here.

Oh, yes, he is.

Not you, honey.

All right.

I'll tell him you
called, Richard.

Bye.

The front door was open.



I opened it for you and
then the phone rang.

Oh, well, thanks.

Did you have a nice
day at the office?

Oh, perfect, everything
went smooth as clockwork.

Did it really?

No, but I'm trying
a new approach.

You see, I figured that if
I came home every night

and said, "Everything
was great today,"

pretty soon I'd start
thinking it was great.

- How's it working?
- I don't know.

This is the first
time I've tried it.

Was Richard asking
for Beaver on the phone?

Huh-uh, it was Whitey.

I know it was because
he said he was Richard.



He always says he's Richard.

Well, uh, who does
Richard say he is?

Oh, he always says he's Gilbert.

Ward, why do they do that?

Well, because if
there's something wrong,

they'd rather have us
yell at somebody else.

Where is Beaver?

Well, he and Wally
left about an hour ago.

They said they were gonna
go over to Eddie Haskell's house

to pick something up.

Oh, I hope Eddie isn't
selling Wally another one

of those big bargains,

like that walkie-talkie
that wouldn't work.

No, I don't think Eddie is
selling Wally anything this time.

Oh, well, fine.

No, this time, he's
selling Beaver something.

Well, what makes you say that?

Well, because Beaver said
if it was a good hunk of junk,

Wally could help
him carry it home.

But if it was a
bad hunk of junk,

Wally could make Eddie
give Beaver back his money.

Yeah, there's nothing like
having a big brother around

when you've made a bad bargain.

I remember the year my brother
went away to boarding school.

Every time he came
home on vacation,

I'd have a long list of
guys for him to punch.

Did he do it for you?

Yeah, the first
two or three times.

After that, he got
interested in girls

and I had to start being
nice to the big guys.

Honey, the sink is stopped up.

Let's put it up here on
the workbench, Beav.

Boy, must have been a mile
and a half from Eddie's house.

We shoulda waited
till Dad got home

and let him lug it
back here in the car.

You know, I remember
when Eddie built this thing.

He got the steering gear
out of a store and everything.

How'd it get
wrecked up like this?

Well, a couple...
Three years ago,

he took the wheels off

and was gonna
convert into an ice boat

and sail it on the river.

Then one night, his pop came
home and ran over the thing.

By accident?

Well, Eddie said
he did it on purpose.

He was pretty sore at his Dad.

He said he did it to keep him
from getting killed on the river.

Hello, fellas.

Oh, hi, Dad.

Hey, your mother's
looking for you.

It's getting close to supper.

I know, Dad. I was
just helping Beav

lug this thing
back from Eddie's.

Pretty neat, huh, Dad?

Well, Beaver, that depends.

I hope you didn't
get taken here.

Oh, gee, no, Dad.

I'm only paying him
25 cents a week.

Well, yeah, but for how long?

Uh, gee, I don't know.

How long was it, Wally?

Eight weeks.

You're only paying him $2.00.

Oh, well, what
do you think, Dad?

Well, I think it's worth
at least $2.00, Beaver.

But I want you
to fix this up now.

I don't want this to end up

like that old
bicycle you bought.

It was around here for
months without any tires on it,

and we finally had
to throw it away.

Oh, gee, no, Dad.

Wally's gonna help me with this.

We're gonna put wheels on it,

and fix the steering
gear and everything.

Yeah, Dad.

I thought it'd be good
practice if I worked on it,

you know, for when
I get a car of my own.

Wally, I told you I'd let you have
a car someday, and I meant it.

You don't have to keep hinting.

Well, sure, Dad, but I
just wanted to remind you

that you said it, and
that you meant it,

so that when I get old
enough to have a car,

you won't say, "Well, this is
the first time I heard of this."

Well, shall we go
in to supper now?

Well, you certainly
slept late this morning.

I was beat. I had a hard
day at the office yesterday.

What happened
to your philosophy?

Why didn't you say you had a
wonderful day and you weren't tired?

Well, you know, I tried that.

That's what kept me awake
half the night, talking to myself.

You know, you used to sleep
better when you were miserable.

What's all that hammering
out in the garage?

Oh, the boys are working

on that coaster
wagon of the Beaver's.

Oh, is Wally helping?

Uh-huh. And you know, it's
good to see the two of them

doing something together again.

Yeah, kinda like old times
having them work on a project.

I can remember when
they had time for each other.

They were always going
off fishing or camping,

or hiking, or building a model.

It's a pity they
have to grow apart.

Yeah.

From being the best
friends you have in the world,

a brother becomes just someone
you exchange presents with

at Christmas time.

You know, it's a shame we
can't convince our children

that they should enjoy
each other while they can.

Yeah.

Well, I guess today,

with kids joining so many
clubs and athletic groups,

it's easier to make
new friends to fight with.

Well, coffee hot?

Uh-huh.

I'll get your breakfast.

You know something, Wally?

What's that, Beav?

You look a lot better
when you got dirt on ya.

What are you driving at?

Well, since you started
getting grown up,

and hanging around with girls,

well, you're so
neat, you're a mess.

Yeah, well, fooling
around like this is still fun.

Yeah. Too bad a guy
can't stay a kid all his life.

Well, gee, Beaver,
growing up's rough on a guy.

You gotta wait till you're an
old man to act like a kid again.

Then you can go to parties

and wear funny hats
like Mr. Rutherford does.

Well, gee, Beav, I never
want to get old enough

to act like that.

There. Well, we're all set
to put the wheels on, Beav.

Did you get any yet?

Nah.

I went to the
junkyard yesterday,

but they were
fresh outta wheels.

When I told the guys I
was gonna build a coaster,

everybody started
building coasters.

Beaver, you shoulda known
enough to keep your mouth shut.

Yeah, I know.

Well, but when the guys
start talking like big shots,

I want to be a big shot too.

And I always end up saying
something I shouldn't have said.

Yeah.

Don't you know any
kids that have wheels?

Hey, yeah, one kid.

What kid?

Well, Penny Woods.

Well, she's got
this old doll buggy

and she said I could
have the wheels off that.

Hey, Penny Woods, isn't that the
girl in your class who's so creepy?

Yeah.

But she doesn't seem so creepy

since I found out
she's got wheels.

Wally, would you
tell your brother

that lunch'll be ready soon?

Oh, he's not around, Mom.

He just took off.

Well, where'd he go?

Over to Penny Woods' house.

Beaver calling on a
girl? Well, that's cute.

Oh, it's not what
you think, Mom.

Oh, it isn't?

No. He's just interested
in her four wheels.

Yes, little boy?

Uh, uh, could... Could I
please speak to Penny?

Oh, why of course. Come in.

Have a chair.

Sit down.

You hoo, Penny?

There's a little gentleman
here to see you.

Oh, hi, Beaver.

Hi, Penny.

Well, I'll see what we have in the way of
refreshments for your little guest, dear.

He's not a guest, Mom.

He's just the Beaver.

Well, suppose we
treat him as a guest.

I'm sure he won't mind.

Will you, son?

Oh, no, ma'am. I won't mind.

My mother said it was a
gentleman, but it's only you.

Yeah, well, my Mom
makes jokes like that too.

How come you want to see me?

Well, uh...

I just saw you
yesterday at school.

You made a face at me.

Gee Penny, everybody
makes faces at you.

Well, whaddya want?

Uh, could I have the wheels
off your old doll buggy?

Oh, that's why
you came over for.

Sure, what else?

I thought you might
be getting creepy.

Okay, come on out in the garage.

Well, what about the
refreshments your Mom's getting?

We can drink 'em outside.

That's good.
'Cause I get nervous

drinking junk in
strange living rooms.

Yeah, Penny, they're okay.

I thought you were
only giving them to me

on account of they were busted.

You can have
them for keeps, too.

Gee, thanks, Penny.
You're real neat.

Well, I mean, for a
girl, you're sorta neat.

Look, there's just one
thing. Don't tell anybody.

Because if the girls at school

find out I gave
something to a boy,

they'll never speak to me.

Oh, don't worry, Penny.

I don't want to get the
business from the guys, either.

Hey, did you hear that?
My stomach rumbled.

My mother said we shouldn't
talk about things like that

in mixed company.

Gee Penny, there's
nobody here but us.

Beaver not home yet?

Not yet.

I've been waiting lunch on him.

Well, if he can't wangle
something to eat out of a lady friend,

he doesn't have the
old Cleaver touch.

The master speaks.

I remember you had quite a knack
of dropping by just at mealtime.

I was just a growing boy.

You know, I once remember
overhearing my mother say to my father,

"Do you think that Ward
boy is serious about June?"

And my father said, "Well,
if the time ever comes

that he looks at her the way he
looks at one of your pot roasts,

then we'll know."

I guess I didn't really get that pot
roast feeling till I was in the Navy.

Boy, that Beaver.

What's the matter?

He went over to Penny's
house without any tools.

Well, maybe he can
borrow a wrench over there.

Well, if he can't, he's
sure gonna be in a mess.

What do you mean, Wally?

Gee Mom, a grown kid pushing
a doll carriage down the street.

The only thing worse
that could happen to him

would be that if he got
caught in his underwear.

You sure your Dad
doesn't have any tools?

No, they're all locked up,

'cause every time my big
brother uses 'em, he breaks 'em.

Boy, they sure got these
wheels on good for a doll carriage.

You can just push
it home, Beaver.

I don't need the rest of it.

Gee, thanks, Penny.

But don't you need it
for when you play dolls?

I don't play with dolls anymore.

I go on horse shows.

Oh.

Well, thanks for
the neat wheels.

Penny, is your little
friend staying for lunch?

No Mom, my little
friend's going home.

So long, Beaver.

So long, Penny.

And thanks for the neat
refreshment, Mrs. Woods.

You're welcome.

Very nice boy.

He's cute, too.

Don't you think so?

Yeah, but it's kinda hard
to think of him as cute,

'cause up to now, I've been
thinking of him as a little rat.

Oh, oh, he has.

Okay, well, thank you
very much, Mrs. Woods.

Boy, Mom, Beaver
left 15 minutes ago

pushing a doll buggy
down the street.

I better go find him.

But your lunch is ready!

But, gee Mom, Beaver
pushing a doll buggy.

Some wise guy's
liable to clobber him.

Now, why would
anyone pick on a boy

just because he's
pushing a doll buggy?

Well, gee, Mom,

guys always pick on
someone that's different.

Don't you remember how
it was when you were a kid?

Maybe you better
go and look for him.

I remember how it was.

My mother made
me wear hair ribbons.

Boy, Beaver pushing a
doll buggy down the street.

A thing like this could put
a curse on the whole family.

I can remember when boys
played with coasters and bikes.

Ed, we're really in trouble
with this younger generation.

They've gone sissy on us.

How do you do, Mrs. Cleaver?

Oh, hello, Eddie.

It's quite a pleasant
afternoon out, isn't it?

Yes, yes, it is.

I suppose you want to see Wally.

Yes.

That is, if it won't
inconvenience you too much

to call him for me.

Well, it won't
inconvenience me at all,

but he's out looking
for the Beaver.

The little fellow
been misbehaving?

No, he hasn't, Eddie.

He went over to Penny's house

to get some wheels
for his coaster.

And Wally was worried about him

because he's pushing
Penny's doll carriage home.

Oh, that is a matter of concern.

I certainly hope no one
slaughters the little fellow.

Eddie, would you like to
wait up in Wally's room?

No, thank you Mrs. Cleaver.

I believe I'll go out
and look for Theodore,

and Wally, of course.

Thank you, Mrs. Cleaver.

You're welcome.

Beaver! Hey, Beaver!

Hey little boy, do you
have your dolly in there?

Beaver! Hey, Beaver!

Ward, when you were young,

if you'd seen a little boy walking
down the street pushing a baby carriage,

what would you have done?

What would I have done?

Well, I'd have
clobbered him, of course.

Oh dear, clobbered him.

Eddie said he'd
probably get slaughtered.

Ward, do you think that
might happen to Beaver

if someone sees him
pushing that doll carriage?

Well, if the boy's
bigger than Beaver,

or if there are two of them,

yes, I'd say that's about
the way it'd turn out.

Then what'll happen?

Well, then Beaver'll never push a
doll carriage along the street again.

Oh, come on, dear.

Don't worry about it.

Everything'll be all right.

I can't help but worry about it.

What if Beaver gets in a
fight with some big boy?

Well, why not look
on the bright side of it?

Maybe he'll get in a
fight with some little boy

and then he'll clobber him.

Hi, Beav.

Hi, Gilbert. Hi, Richard.

What are you doing
around here, Beav?

Oh, well, uh, just
messin' around.

Yeah, that's what us
two guys are doing too.

Why don't you guys go over
to the park and mess around?

Nah, that's no good.

Hey, guys!

Look what I found!

Hey, a doll buggy.

Yeah, with four neat wheels.

Uh, maybe you oughta
put it back, Gilbert.

Well, why should I?

Well, maybe it
belongs to some girl.

Why would a girl
leave it down there?

Well, maybe it belongs
to somebody else.

What kinda somebody else?

Well, maybe it belongs to a guy.

What would a guy be
doing with a doll carriage?

Are you goofy, Beaver?

Yeah, you goofy, Beav?

Hey, I think I'm
gonna take it home.

This is just what
my father needs.

Your father?

Yeah, he can use the four
neat wheels for the coaster

he's building for me.

Hey Beaver, is there
something the matter with you?

Well, what do you mean?

You don't look so good.

You look like you did that
time Harry Harrison showed you

where they took
out his appendix.

Yeah. I guess I don't
feel too good now, either.

Hey guys.

I think I know
who it belongs to.

Yeah, who?

No. I guess I don't.

Come on, Rich, let's go.

Beaver!

Beaver! Hey, Beaver!

Did you find him, Eddie?

No. But I'll tell you something,

I'd give him back his
two bucks just to see it.

Heh heh.

Cut it out, Eddie.

Well look, Sam, this is
the chance of a lifetime.

Your moonfaced little brother

coming down the street
pushing a doll carriage.

Man!

Hey, here he comes,
without the buggy.

Yeah.

Hey look, leave him
alone, huh, Eddie?

He looks kinda beat.

You don't have
to tell Big Daddy.

I'm all heart.

Hi, Beav.

Hi, Wally. Hi, Eddie.

Hey, hey, what happened
to the doll carriage?

Oh, I threw it away, and
some other guys found it.

Well look, Beaver,

didn't you know you'd
look like a little creep

pushing a girl's doll
buggy down the street?

Nah.

You never know you're
gonna look like a creep

until after you
look like a creep.

Hey Beav, who got the
doll carriage away from you?

Ah, that Gilbert and Richard.

Look Beav, you want me and Wally

to go over there and
take it away from them?

Nah.

I wouldn't want anybody to know

that a girl's doll
carriage belonged to me.

I'll see you guys.

Yeah.

You know something, Wally?

I sorta know how he feels.

You do, Eddie?

Yeah.

When I was a little
kid in kindergarten,

we had a woman
taking care of me.

And she sent me to school
with a home permanent.

Boy, Eddie. What happened?

Well, I told my father about it,

and he made a great big joke.

You know something?

I don't think I've ever really
told him anything since then.

Gee Eddie, then how come
you're always jumping on other guys,

making fun of them?

Look Sam, if you can make
the other guy feel like a goon first,

then you don't feel
like so much of a goon.

Ah, I don't get that.

Of course you don't.

That's 'cause you never
went to kindergarten

with a home permanent.

You know something, Eddie?
It's holding up real good.

June, we're home.

Well, where have you been?

Where are the boys?

They're out in the garage.

We went out to the hobby shop

to get some wheels
for Beaver's coaster.

We had to stop at
a couple of places

before we could
find the right ones.

Oh, is he all right now?

Yeah, he's forgotten
all about the baby buggy.

You know, honey, I was thinking.

Beaver being so embarrassed
about pushing that doll buggy.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could
teach our children to be above that?

Oh, I don't know, June.

I don't think we ever get
above being laughed at.

Yes, I guess we've all had
something to be embarrassed about.

Hair ribbons or...

Or a little red velvet jacket.

Oh Ward, you never wore
a little red velvet jacket.

Sure did.

My great aunt sent it to me.

My mother made me
wear it to Sunday School.

Did you get clobbered?

Yep.

I had one thing
working for me, though.

It was red, and the
blood didn't show.

Honey, would you tell the
boys to get ready for supper?

Oh, let 'em work
a little while longer.

After all, it'll only
be a few more years

till all they do is send each
other cards at Christmas.

Hi, Beaver.

Hi, Gilbert.

Hey, your car's pretty neat.

Yeah? Well, your car
is still neater than mine.

Yeah, but yours is
pretty neat anyways.

Uh-oh, Beaver,
look who's coming.

Hey, let's duck in the house.

I don't want to meet
that dopey Penny.

Well, gee Gilbert,
she's not so bad.

What are you talking
about, Beaver?

She's a girl!

Yeah.

But for a girl, she's
still not too bad.

Boy, Beaver.

Hi, Penny.

Beaver, you rat.

I heard you gave my
buggy wheels to Gilbert.

And I bet you sold
them to him, too,

you creepy little spook, you.

Ah!

Blah!

Boy, Gilbert, I was just
over at her house Saturday

and she was really friendly.

It's your own fault, Beaver,

for even talking to a girl.

I guess so.

But you know something?

I might try it again someday.

Boy, Beaver, you're going flaky!