Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 1, Episode 24 - The State Versus Beaver - full transcript

"Violation, Section 4938,
Vehicle Code."

Holy smokes, Beaver!
You got a ticket!

—I sure guess so.
— Boy, you're in big trouble.

— Couldn't we just tear it up?
— Heck, no. The police would come
and get you.

I could lock myself up
and hide under the bed.

Ah, that's no good.
They'd just kick the door down
like they do on television.

The man said I should show it
to my parents or my guardian.

Yeah, you better take it right down
and give it to Dad.

[Announcer]
Leave It To Beaver.

Starring Barbara Billingsley,
Hugh Beaumont, Tony Dow...

and Jerry Mathers the Beaver.



Hey, the boys aren't up in their room.

No. They went out to the garage
right after breakfast.

Three raincoats, none of them ours,
two pairs of rubbers and one... galosh.

Well, I guess the boys might cut it up
for slingshots or something.

Hold the phone.
Here's another one.

Hey, they're both left feet.

They are?
Mm—hmm.

Some kid left some very interesting
tracks when he went home.

Why the clean—up campaign?

Well, I was looking for an extra
vacuum cleaner belt for the boys,
and I guess I Just got carried away.

What do they want
with a vacuum cleaner belt?

I don't know.
They've been collecting
all kinds of things.

They asked me if they
could have the motor off
the old power mower.

The last I saw of them,
they were taking the wheels
off of Beaver's coaster wagon.



Another lefty.

Wally, it sure is a neat car.
But there are no brakes.
How are we gonna stop it?

First, we got to get it running,
and then we'll worry about stoppin' it.

[Hammering]

The wheels look funny too, Wally.
They're all pointin' in different ways.

Yeah. I don't know
what we can do about that.

[Hammering]
I sure hope when we get it started
it all goes in the same direction.

[Imitating Motor]

Wally, maybe when we grow up,
we can be racetrack drivers...

and hang our head out the side
of the car when we take the curves.

[Imitating Tires Screeching]

You know, Beaver, you're funny.

You get more fun out of
pretendin' stuff than really doin' it.

Sure. It's never as much fun
doin' it as it is pretendin'.

[Imitating Motor]

[Hammering]

Well, what do we have here?

Oh, it's a racin' car, Dad.

Uh, we kind of borrowed the motor
off the power mower.

Oh, you borrowed it?

Yeah. We'll put it back
when the grass gets long.

I'm sure you will.

It's a neat car,
huh, Dad?

Yeah. Um, it's, uh,
it seems a little short
in the wheelbase to me.

Why'd you pick this particular length?

Well, that's how long the boards were.

Yeah. If the fence out back was higher,
we'd have a longer car.

Oh. You, uh, took the boards
out of our fence?

Oh, it's okay, Dad. There's no hole.
We put the wheelbarrow/n there
to plug it up.

Oh, well—

Well, it, uh, it sure seems
to be coming along nicely, boys.

Uh, I think it needs
a few finishing touches though.
Uh, maybe I could help you.

— Gee, Dad, would you?
— Sure. I'd be glad to.

Uh, well, now, let's see.

The first thing to do
is to draw up some plans
so we know where we're going.

Gee, Dad, do we have to bother with plans?
They'll only slow us down.

Uh, yeah, yeah.
I guess you're right.

Well, where's the toolbox?
Over there.

Uh, I think I'd better get
some wrenches out of the car.

Boy, it sure is gonna be great,
Dad helping us.

I sure hope so.

[Sawing, Hammering]

Ward.

Ward.
[Sawing, Hammering
Continues]

Boys.

Boys!

[Sawing, Hammering]

I, uh, figured we could cut up
some sheet metal for the hood

Gee, Dad, you sure
are a swell mechanic.
[Chuckles]

Yeah. You oughta give up your job
and just build cars.

Well, you know,
someday I just might do that.

Well, how do you like it?

Well, it doesn't look bad.

Bet you never get
it off the ground.
Gee, Mom, it's a car.

Sure, Mom, it's not supposed to
get off the ground.

Now, don't worry, boys.
Your mother said the same thing
to the Wright brothers.

Gee, Mom, did you really know—
I did not and your lunch is ready.

You boys go on in
and get washed up.
I'll, uh, be right in.

Okay. Come on, Beave.

Play?
June, a mechanical project
like this is good for the boys.

Yes, but isn't this
whatever—it—is with a motor on it...

a little advanced
for Wally and the Beaver?

Well, not if it's used properly.
I'll talk to them about it.

Anyway, Wally's getting
to the age where he's got
a pretty good sense of values.

You ready?
Yeah.

We're offl Ya—hoo!

Are you sure they're all right
in that thing alone?

Oh, of course they are.
What's there to worry about?

Of course.
Just our children, that's all.

[Chuckles]
Hey, stay on the sidewalk!

Well, it took us two Saturdays,
but it runs like a fine watch.
[1 oud Motor Running]

What'd you say?

I said it runs like a fine watch.
Oh, yes, doesn't it?

Ward, look, I want you
to talk to those boys.

Now I don't want them
being reckless with that thing.

Don't worry about it, dear.
I'll take care of it.

Thank you, dear.
I'm so glad you said that.

Now I can go in
and peel my hard—boiled eggs
with a clear mind.

Boys!

[Engine Stops]

Boy, it runs great, Dad.

Yeah, I think we did
a pretty good job on it.

You want to take a ride, Dad?
I think it'll hold you.

Well, not right now. Uh—

Look, boys, uh, about the car.

I want you to be
very careful with it.

You know,
don't take it out in the street
or be reckless with it in any way.

We'll just ride it around here
and in the vacant lot.

Gee, Dad, I thunk
we'd drive it to school.

Oh, I'm sorry, Beaver.
This is strictly for when I'm with you.

And if you disobey me in this,
I'll have to take the car
away from you.

Oh, we'll do like you say, Dad.

Swell. Now just remember,

I don't want either one of you to
take this car out of the garage alone.

Now do we understand
each other about this, boys?
This is all for your own good.

Sure, Dad.
Every time you bawl us out,
it's for our own good.

Wally, I'm not bawling you out.
I'm just giving you a few simple rules.

Now, okay?
Okay.

Now remember
what Dad said, Beaver.

It's our car, but you can't take it
out on the street by yourself.

I'm gonna play baseball after school,
and I don't want you messin' around
with it and gettin' us in trouble.

You understand?
Yeah, Sure.

— Boy, I sure wish there was somebody
in this family for me to yell at.
— That's your tough luck.

[Bird Chirping]

It sure is a neat car, huh, Larry?
It sure is.

Hey, can I have another apple?

I don't know.
I give you three already.

Mom's at a club meetin'.
I don't know if she'd want us
eatin' all her apples.

That's okay.
She'll think your father ate 'em.

Uh—uh.

I brought it from home.

That motor's got a whole
horse power inside of it.

How about givin' me a ride, Beaver?

I can't do that.

I thought you said it was your car.

It belongs to me and Wally,
but I can't take it out alone.

Oh.

Can we at least sit in it?

Sure. Why not?

[Imitating Motor Running,
Tires Screeching]

That's the way
the racetrack drivers do it.

I know. I know.
I go to the movies too.

It wouldn't hurt to just
start up the motor, would it?

I don't know.
I don't think we'd better.

I'll bet you don't know how.

Sure I do.

[Motor Starts]

Boy, that's great.

Hey, Beaver.
What, Larry?

It wouldn't hurt none
to drive it around the block.

I told you 'afore, I'm not supposed
to take it out by myself.

But you're not by yourself.
I'm with you.

I don't know.

I'll bet you don't even know
how to drive it.

Oh, no?

[Siren Blaring]

[Engine Stops]

We do somethin' wrong, mister?

That depends.
How old are you kids?

I'm seven and three—quarters.

I'm eight and one—quarter.

[Man]
Then you don't have a license?

I have a license for my dog
that runned away.

I mean a license
to operate a motor vehicle.

No, sir, I guess not.

Son, don't you know it's against the law
for a boy your age to take that thing
out on the city streets?

[Beaver]
No, sir.

— What's your name, son?
— Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver.

I'm sorry, Theodore.
I'm gonna have to give you a ticket.

You know somethin', Beaver.
You shouldn't have taken this thing
out of the garage.

Beaver, you didn't
eat your dessert tonight.

I didn't feel like it.

Well, if you didn't feel like ice cream,
there must be something wrong
with your stomach.

No, Dad, there's nothing wrong
with my stomach.

[June]
You aren't in any trouble
at school, are you?

Not that I know of.

How about you, Wally?
How did the baseball game go?

Oh, great, Dad.
I scored a home run on a bunt.

How'd you do that?
Oh, the ball rolled down a sewer.

Oh. You must have some
very interesting ground rules.

I think I'll go up to bed now.

So early?
Beaver.

You feel all right?
I feel fine.
[Chuckles]

I think I'll go to bed too.
I'm a little bit tired.

Good night.

Ward, you don't think
they're up to anything, do you?

I think they're getting out
of doing the dishes.

All right, Beaver, what happened?

What happened with what?

With the car.
When I got home this afternoon,
the motor was warm.

Was it?

Yeah. You took it out
by yourself, didn't you?

Well, not exactly.
Larry Mondello was with me.
We just went around the block.

Oh, you shouldn't have done that.
Did anything happen?

No, 'xcept for this.

"Violation, Section 4938,
Vehicle Code."

Holy smokes, Beaver!
You got a ticket!

I sure guess so.

Boy, you're in big trouble.

— Couldn't we just tear it up?
— Heck, no. The police would
come and get you.

I could lock myself up
and hide under the bed.

Ah, that's no good.
They'd just kick the door down
like they do on television.

The man said I should show it
to my parents or guardian.

Yeah, you better take it right down
and give it to Dad.

I can't do that. He told me
not to never touch the car.

Well, it says here you gotta
appear in court within five days
with your parent or guardian.

Wally, what's a guardian?

Well, it's kind of like an older person
who watches out for you
when your parents aren't around.

— Would you be my guardian?
— Why should I? You're the one
that got yourself in trouble.

Then I guess I'll have to
show it to Dad.

Of course, when he finds out,

he'll probably take the car
away from both of us.

All right, Beaver.
I'll be your guardian.

I just hope I don't end up
goin' to jail with you.

Hi.
Oh, it's you.

You disappointed?
Yes. I was expecting the vacuum
cleaner man with a new belt,

but, uh, I guess you'll do.

Thank you.

Oh, I, uh, forgot my key.
Where are the boys?

Well, when they left this morning, they
said they were gonna stop off somewhere
on their way home from school.

Mm.
Oh, what a day.

Hmm.
My broiler caught on fire
this afternoon.

That's fine.

You're ignoring me.
Good, dear.
I'll take care of it tomorrow.

Ward, you're not paying
a bit of attention to me.

Yes, I am. You said the boys
would be a little late and your
vacuum cleaner caught on fire.

Uh—huh. And I thought
you weren't listening.

The boys say where they were going?

They just said when they left this morning
they were gonna stop off somewhere
on their way home from school.

Mm, probably marble season.

Mm—hmm. I'll take care of it
right after dinner.

This is your second violation.
That will be $25 fine.

Twenty—five dollars?
Shh.

Next case, bailiff.

Wally, let's go home.
We can't now.

Now, Mr. Cleaver—

Um, which one of you
is Theodore Cleaver?

This is me.

And who is this
other young gentleman?
I'm his guardian.

His official guardian?

No, he's my 'ficial brother,
but he's my guardian today.

[All Laughing]
[Gavel Pounding]

Son, didn't you realize you were
supposed to bring your parents?

I guess I heard somethin' about it,
but they couldn't 'xactly come.

I see.
They're working people?

Yeah. They work real hard.

They work on a ship...
that isn't here now.

And what is the name of the ship?

Uh... tell him the name
of the ship, Wally.

Uh... well, I don't think
they're working today,
but I think they're sick.

Yeah, they're sick.

Uh, boys, are you sure about this?

Right now,
I'm not sure of anything.

[Laughing]

Would you two boys
mind waiting a few minutes?
I think I'd like to talk to you alone.

Yes, sir. We'll wait.

Next case, bailiff.

I fail to find any
extenuating circumstances here.

Reckless driving is one thing
we cannot tolerate in this city.

That will be $50 fine or 10 days in jail.
Next case, bailiff.

Wow! That's four people
he sent to jail already.

You know, Wally,
no matter what happens...

I'm not gonna cry.

Take it easy, Beaver.

You struck a parked vehicle,
you left the scene of an accident...

and you were driving
with a suspended license.

I see no reason for leniency here.

That will be $250 fine
or 60 days in the county jail.

Now I think I can talk to young
Mr. Cleaver... and his guardian.

That's us.

You two boys can
step around up here.

"Violation, Section 4938,
Vehicle Code."

Mister, my parents don't work on a ship,
and they're not really sick.

I was just "a—scared” to bring them.
I'm sorry I made it up.

I see.
This is your real brother though?

Yes, sir.
He's real all right.

Uh, well,you see, sir,

and then he made us promise
not to take it out on the street.

Yeah, but I was there by myself
with Larry Mondello,
and he was eatin' apples.

And he said, "Let's take a ride.”
And I said, "I'm not supposed
to take a ride by myself."

And he said, "You're not
By yourself. I'm with you.”
So we took a ride.

He didn't mean to
break the law or nothin'.

It's only a toy.
The motor's only a one—lunger.

Well, you may think of it as just a toy,
but the law defines a motor vehicle.

And this is undoubtedly a vehicle
with a motor on it,

even though it's just a one—lunger.

Yes, sir.
The law clearly states you must have
a license to operate a motor vehicle.

[Blows Nose]

And I'm sure you don't want to
break the law, do you?

Oh, I'm sure I don't either.

We thought
you were gonna put him in jail,
like you did everybody else.

No, I think Theodore's learned
his lesson, haven't you, Theodore?

Yes, sir. I'm not gonna
take no vehicle no place.

Well, you two boys
can run along home now.
We'll just expunge this from the records.

Thank you, sir.
Thank you, sir.

And, boys, uh, if I were you,
I think I'd get rid of that car.

Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.

Mister, do I have to
tell my father about this?

Well, son, I think we'll
just leave that up to you.

Well, may I say that
was a very excellent dinner?

Well, you better say that.
I worked on it all afternoon.

Hi, fellas.
Hello, boys.

Hi, Dad. Hi, Mom.

Uh, the Beaver
wants to talk to you.

All right. What's up?

Well, you know this afternoon
when we got home late from school?

Yeah, I guess so.
Uh, playing marbles, huh?
[Chuckles]

No, sir, we wasn't
playin' marbles.

We sure wasn't.

— We were in court.
— The school took you?

No. I got arrested.

Arrested?
Arrested?

Arrested. I took Larry Mondello for
a ride in the car you helped us build,

and I didn't have no license.

— And you went to court?
— Yeah, but it's okay now.

They're not going to
do anything to him.

Yeah, the judge sponged off
my record.

Well, I-I'm very thankful for that,

but, Beaver, why?

Uh, the thing I can't understand,
it's bad enough that you took
the car out into the street...

when I told you not to,
but why, when you got in trouble,
didn't you come to me?

I guess I was a—scared to, Dad.

Y— What were you scared of?

What did you think I'd do
if you told me?

Well, that's the trouble, Dad.
We never can tell.

Now, wait a minute, boys.
Let's get something straight.

I don't care what kind of trouble
you may get into in life.

You don't ever need to be afraid
to come to your parents
and tell them.

Yes, sir. I'm sorry.

Well, you'd, uh, you'd better
go on up to your room.

Good night.
Good night.

Good night.
Good night, boys.

What is it, Wally?

Well, he was scared,
and that's one of the reasons
why he didn't tell you,

but there's another reason too.

He didn't want to
Hurt your feelings.

— Hurt my feelings?
— Yeah. Since you were so nice in helpin' us
build the car and everything,

he didn't want to make you feel bad
'cause you've got a kid like him.