Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 1, Episode 23 - Beaver and Poncho - full transcript

Beaver brings home a chihuahua that Whitey found rummaging through his garbage can. By looking at the well kept manner of the dog, Ward and June can tell that it isn't a stray and that they'll help Beaver place a classified ad in the newspaper to find its real owner. Although Beaver abides by his parents directive, he deep down hopes that the owner does not come forward so that he can keep the dog. A Mrs. Bennett telephones, perfectly describing the dog as her Poncho. Learning this news, Beaver decides to take Poncho to school instead of letting Mrs. Bennett take the dog back. The dog at school gets Beaver into trouble. When Ward and June ultimately find out what Beaver has done, he gets into even more trouble. But Beaver's explanation to Mrs. Bennett offers a little more insight for Ward and June on how they should deal with the punishment for Beaver.

Hi, Beaver.
Hi, Larry.

I just heard Mr. Bloomgarten's
gonna inspect the lockers.

Yeah. The kids were
talking about it.

Mr. Bloomgarten heard somebody
brought rotten eggs to school again.

You didn't bring rotten eggs, did ya?

No. But I brung something else.

Beaver!

Bringing a dog to school—
You're gonna get
in all kinds of trouble.

[Announcer]
Leave It To Beaver.

Starring Barbara Billingsley,
Hugh Beaumont, Tony Dow...

and Jerry Mathers as the Beaver.



[Thunder Rumbling]

Oh, Ward. Where can those boys be?
They should have been home from school
at least an hour ago.

Oh, June.
A rainy day is a challenge
to any growing boy.

Gives him a chance
to find a lot of new ways
to get soaking wet.

Well, I just wish
they'd worn their raincoats
this morning.

Here comes somebody.

It's a kid, and he's running.
Is it one of ours?

Yeah. Must be.jumped right in
that big puddle out in front
of the house with both feet.

It's Wally.
Wonder where the Beaver is.

Oh!

Oh, Wally. Look at you.
You're soaking wet.

Sure, Mom.
It's raining out.

Oh, Wally.

You know, Wally, uh,
I was watching you
out the window there.



Uh, could you tell me
why you would deliberately
jump in a puddle of water?

Gee, Dad. I just wanted to see
if these new shoes were waterproof.

[Chuckles]
I guess they're not.

Yeah. No.

Where's your brother, Wally?
Didn't he come home with you?

Well, he started to, but then it got
kind of wet while we were watching
some men take a car out of the mud.

Sol think he went over to
Larry Mondello's house.

You better get on upstairs
and get some dry clothes on.

Ward, I'm worried about the Beaver.
Don't you think you ought to
go over to Larry's house and get him?

No. Let's wait a couple
of minutes. He probably—
[Banging]

- Hi.
— Well, thank goodness
you're covered up.

Larry Mondello "lended" me
his raincoat.

We've been worried
about you, Beaver.

Why do you have your jacket
rolled up like that?

I have it rolled up
so it won't get wet.

What do you suppose he has
in the jacket?

Do you think
he's hiding something?
Sure he's hiding something.

Remember when he smuggled in
the chocolate eclairs
wrapped up in his sweater?

Ooh. I hope it's nothing
that sticky.

Hey, Beaver. What is it?

You know, Wally.
It's a dog.

Yeah, I guess he is.
I think he's what they call
a Mexican Hairless.

He's hairless all right,
But I don't know if he's Mexican.

Where'd you get that thing?

I traded Larry Mondello
my glass doorknob for it.

He got it from Whitey Whitney.
Whitey found him
eating out of his garbage pail.

—I haven't got a name for him yet.
— Did Dad say you had to get rid of him?

No. He didn't say that.
Gee. How come?

Didn't have a chance to.
He doesn't know I got him.

You'd better go down and tell him.

I gotta take my shower.

But, Beaver, he's so tiny.

Wally says he's a bald—headed Mexican.

He's a Chihuahua, Beaver.

Wally says you might
let me keep him.

Beaver, you and Wally
had a dog once. Remember?

You didn’t take care of him.
We had to give him away.

But I can't put him out in the rain.

He's so small.
He might get washed down
a sewer or somethin'.

Well, I don't mean tonight, Beaver.

But anyway, a dog like this
obviously belongs to somebody.

How do you know?
He ain't got nothin' to show
who he belongs to.

Well, I know you don't
quite understand, Beaver,

but believe me,
the only right thing to do
is to find out who owns the dog

Yes, Beaver He probably belongs
to somebody who loves him very much.

You can understand that,
can't you?

[Hiccups]
Yeah, I can understand that.

I tell you what, Beaver.

I have to work a while
tomorrow, so...

in the morning I'll take you and Wally
by the newspaper office, and you can
place an ad in the lost and found.

Okay, Dad.

Beaver, why don ’t you take him
upstairs and tidy him up a bit?

But don't use a clean towel on him.

Oh, no, Mom.
I'll wash myself first
and get one dirty.

He seems pretty upset
about having to
give that dog back.

Ah, he'll get over it.
When I was a kid, I was always
bringing home some kind of animal.

[Chuckles]
I remember once my brother and I
brought home a duck.

A duck?
Yeah. The lake was frozen over,
and it was wandering around on the ice.

We felt sorry for it,
so we bundled it up
and brought it home.

Where in the world
did you keep it?
Made a nest for it in the bathtub.

Oh, we cleaned it up
and kept it warm...

and fed it Father's best
imported sardines.

And then?

Then spring came,
and it flew away.

That's when I learned
that to a duck there's
no such thing as gratitude.

Uh, "I found a dog.
The dog is a chi— chi"—

I scratched that out.
Oh, yes.

"The dog is brownish
with no hair.

I got the dog from my friend Larry,
but it was not his because Whitey
found him in his garbage pail"?

Uh, he means eating out of
his garbage pail.
Oh, I see.

"If the dog you lost
is the one I found,
I'm the one who found it.

Signed, Beaver Cleaver."

Young man,
did you write this
all by yourself?

No, my brother here
helped me with it.

Uh, well,just with the hard stuff.

Well, I think
I might be able to reword it
so it's just a little clearer.

Don't make it too clear.
I wanna keep the dog.

W—Well, I'm very sorry, sir,
but I'm afraid it's not your dog. I—

Well, I can appreciate
how anxious you are
to locate Frederick III,

but I believe I know the difference
between an Airedale and a Chihuahua.

Not at all. Good night.

Another false alarm?
Mm—hmm.

You know, that makes
the 1 4th call in two days.

Must be the time of year
when dogs leave home.

You wouldn't know about that.
Your experience
has been confined to ducks.

Yeah. Where is
our bald—headed friend?

Boys have him upstairs.
I think they're giving him a bath.
Oh.

You know, even Wally's grown
attached to him.

Well, when I saw his muddy face
that first night, uh,

I never thought I could
grow to love him.

But I have to admit
he has a kind of pathetic appeal.

Probably his Latin charm.

You know, like Cesar Romero.

Well, I think I'll let 'em take the ad
out of the paper tomorrow.

What are you knitting?
A sweater.

Uh— Looks kind of small.

Oh, honey. Calm down.
It's for the dog.

Oh!
[Rings]

I'll get it. Uh, uh, it's cute.

Mmm.
Hello.

Shall we put some of Mom's
bath salts in the water?

Heck no. When you're a dog,
it spoils all the fun
if you can't smell like one.

You kinda like him now,
huh, Wally?

Well, I'm gettin' used to him
being funny—lookin'.

I don't think it bothers him
being funny—lookin'.

To another dog,
he's probably as good—lookin'
as anybody is.

You know, Beaver,
you're really getting a break.

Out of all the answers to the ad,
none of 'em was the right one.

Yeah. If the right one
doesn't show up,
you think Dad'll let me keep the dog?

I wouldn’t be surprised.

I know Dad's kind of old,
but he probably remembers
when he was a kid.

Yes, Mrs. Bennett.
Tomorrow morning will be fine.

Oh, that's perfectly all right.

She sounds like the right one.
Well, she described him to a "."T

Says his name's Poncho.
[Chuckles]
She's gonna pick him up in the morning.

Oh, Ward, the Beaver's
gonna be heartbroken.

Yeah.

Well—
[Clears Throat]

Uh, maybe I shouldn't
tell him tonight.

Maybe not.
I'll tell him in the morning.

Mmm.

Beaver, the lady phoned last night,
and it's her dog.

— You sure, Dad?
— Yeah.

She, uh, promised you
a reward though.

I don't want a reward.
I just want my dog.

But, Beaver, if it's her dog,
you're just going to
have to give it back to her.

But she hasn't seen it.
Maybe it's still the wrong dog.

No, I don't think so, Beaver.

Well, I've got to get
my breakfast, and you boys
better get on to school.

Oh, uh, she said
the dog's name was Poncho.

We're both sorry, Beaver.

It's too bad about the dog, Beave.

I bet his name isn't Poncho.

I don't know.
But we better get to school.

I think I’ll go get
my arithmetic book.

But you already got
your arithmetic book.

Then I think I'll go get
another book.

[Poncho Whimpers]

Here, dog.
[Whistles]

— Here, Prince.
— [Whimpers]

[Whistles]

Here, Sport.
[Whistles]

[Whimpers]

Here, Poncho.

[Whimpering]

[Whimpering]

Oh, I can't understand it,
Mrs. Bennett.

I've looked for that dog
in the garage and in the basement,

and this is the second time
I've looked through the boys' room.

Well, your husband assured me
Poncho would be here.

I was out of town,
and I was so upset when I got back
to find out that Poncho had run away.

Well—
I just know that
cleaning woman let him out.

She doesn't like dogs.
Well, who—

Of course, I've never
treated Poncho as a dog at all.
He's always been one of the family.

Well, I can't imagine where
he could be.

Well, you know how boys are.

I have no idea.
I never had any children.

Except Poncho.

You don't suppose
that the boys are out
playing with him someplace?

Oh, no.
The boys are in school.

Oh, I hope he hasn't
run away again.

Now, do we all have our poem
memorized for today?

[All]
Yes, Miss Canfield.

Whitey, suppose you start us off.

"The Wreck of the Asparagus,"
by Longfellow.

Uh, "The Wreck of the Hesperus,"
by Longfellow.

Oh, yeah.
"It was the schooner Hesperus
that sailed the wintry sea,

and the skipper had taken
his little daughter
to bear him company."

[Canfield]
Oh, that’s very nice, Whitey

Uh, does anyone know
what a skipper is?

Larry, how about you?

I don't have to know nothin'.
I was sick when you
gave out the assignment.

Judy.

A skipper is the man
who runs the ship,

and Larry was not sick
when you gave out the assignment.

Thank you, Judy.

Uh, Linda, suppose
you give us the next four lines.

Yes, Miss Canfield.

"Blue were her eyes as a fairy flax,

her cheeks like the dawn of day"—

[Poncho Whimpering]

[Poncho Whimpers]
What was that?

Theodore, are you making noises?

No, Miss Canfield.

All right, Linda. Go on.

"And her bosom white
as the hawthorn buds, that o—"

"ope in the month of May."

[Poncho Whimpering]

All right.
Just who is making the noise?

It came out of Beaver,
Miss Canfield.

Is that right, Beaver?

Well, it came out of me,
But I didn't make it.

Do you have something
in your jacket?

You mean besides me?

I mean besides you.

Yes, Miss Canfield.

[Whimpering]

Beaver, you know
we can't have dogs in school.

I know, but he's so small.
He's hardly a dog at all.

Well, nevertheless, I—
[Bell Rings]

The rest of you go to lunch.
I want to talk to Theodore.

[Chattering]
All right, class.

I'm waiting for an explanation.

I thunk you was.

Beaver, I'm sure you wouldn't
deliberately misbehave.

— Did you bring the dog from home?
- Uh-huh.

Well, you'll just have to use
your lunch hour to take him back.

I can't do that.
I had to bring him.

Well, I don't quite see why.

Uh, on account of my father.

You mean your father
doesn't like dogs?

No. I mean,yes.

I mean, I think he's, uh,
allergic to 'em.

Well, why did you bring
the dog to school?

Uh.

'cause Dad's gonna give
Poncho to a mean old lady
who hates dogs.

Oh. Uh, well, if she hates dogs,
why is she going to take him?

Theodore, are you
telling me the truth?

Not 'xactly.

Is any of it the truth?

No. Hardly any.

Well, I think we better
take the dog and go down
to Mrs. Rayburn's office.

Gee, Miss Canfield.
I'd expect Mr. Bloomgarten
to squeal on me,

but I thunk you was my friend.

Well, I am your friend, Beaver.

That's one of the reasons
I'm taking you to Mrs. Rayburn's office.

Do you understand?

No. But if we gotta go,
let's go now.

Well, I'm sorry, Collins,
but we can't have
this kind of slipshod work. Uh—

Look, you had the papers on this
two weeks ago. There's no reason for these
delays. They're costing us money. Yeah—

[Beep]
Uh, wait just a minute.

Yeah? Who? I

Mrs. Rayburn?
Well, uh, I'll call her back. —

All right. Put her on.
Uh, hang on, Collins.

— Hello, Mrs. Rayburn.
— Mr. Cleaver?

I wonder if you could
come down to school.

It's about Theodore.

Yes, I think you should.

You see, he brought
a dog with him to school today.

Mrs. Rayburn, he couldn't have
brought a dog to school.

You see, a woman was
coming by the house this morn—

Uh, small, light—brownish dog.

Yeah. Uh, all right, Mrs. Rayburn.
I'll be right over.
And thank you for calling me.

Y—Yes.

Uh, I'll get back to you later, Collins.
I've gotta go over to school
and see about a Chihuahua. I—

It's a dog.

Hi.

Hi.
Hi, Mom.

Hi.

Gather Mrs. Rayburn
got in touch with you.

She certainly did. Beaver,
go on upstairs to your room
and wait until I call you.

Yes, Dad.

[Ward]
Wally, you’d better go too.

Yes, Dad.

Dad.

— You're not mad at me too, are ya?
— Not yet.

Oh.

June, do you mean to tell me
that Mrs. Rayburn called here first?

Yes, but I thought
you could handle it better.

Mrs. Rayburn used to be
one of my teachers,
and she still makes me nervous.

Oh, I've had
a delightful afternoon.

I had to cancel a business conference
in order to go over to school and find out
my son has no respect for the truth.

Now, Ward, before you go up there
and punish him, why don't we try
to figure out why he did it?

What is there to figure out?
He did it because he wanted
to keep somebody else's dog.

I think he did it because
he felt the dog loved him very much,
and that was something he needed.

Oh, now wait a minute, June.
What do you mean he needs love?

He's got parents, hasn't he?
Don't we love him?

Yes, but it's different
with a little boy.

When a dog loves you,
it doesn't ask a lot of questions
and make a lot of rules.

It just loves you.

Y—You know what I think?

I think you're dramatizing
Beaver's motives
so I'll go easy on him.

Let's face it.
He practically stole the dog.

But, Ward, if we don't—
[Doorbell Rings]

How do you do, Mrs. Cleaver?
I just stopped by again to see if
you've heard anything about Poncho.

Well, as a matter of fact,
we have, Mrs. Bennett.

Oh, this is my husband,
Mr. Cleaver.

How do you do?
How do you do?

This is Poncho's mother.
I mean owner.

Ward, would you
get the boys, please?

Won't you come in,
Mrs. Bennett?
Thank you.

[Door Opens]

All right, boys.
The lady's here for the dog.

—Wally, will you bring it
downstairs, please?
— Yes, Dad.

Beaver, I want you to come down
and apologize to Mrs. Bennett.

Do I gotta, Dad?

Seems like I'm apologizing
to just about everybody I know today.

I'd like to give your boy a reward.
Would you think a dollar would
be sufficient for the little fellow?

Well, that's very nice of you,
Mrs. Bennett,

but in view of what's happened,
I don't think he should take a reward.
[Footsteps Approaching]

Poncho!

Oh! Oh, you bad, bad,
naughty boy, you.

Why, shame on you
for running away
from these nice people.

He didn't run away
from us nice people.

I took him to school
and kept him there.

Well, why in the world
would you do that, little boy?

Well,you see, I knew
I was gonna have to
give him back to ya,

but I only had him two days.

So I took him to school
Because I figured,
If I kept him a little longer,

he might remember me
a little better.

Well—

Well, I certainly will never
understand children.

Well, come along, Poncho.

You were a naughty boy.
Yes, you were.

A naughty, naughty boy
to run away and leave.

Good—bye, Mrs. Bennett.

Dad, should I go up
to my room now?

Yeah.

Are you still going to
punish him,Ward?

Yes, I am.

But with a little different
attitude than before.

Beaver's explanation
certainly went over
Mrs. Bennett's head, didn't it?

Yeah.

I'm sure glad it didn't
go over mine.

[Wally]
So long, Eddie.

Hi, Mom. I'm home.

So you are.

How was school?
You know.

Where's Beaver?

Oh, he stayed after school.
He wanted to talk to
Miss Canfield.

You mean
she made him stay after?

No. He just wanted to
tell her somethin'.

When I was leaving
he was trying to get up the nerve.

When's supper?
In about an hour.

Good. I'm starved.

Oh, Beaver.
You still at school?

Yes, Miss Canfield.
I'm still at school.

I just wanted to let you know
I'm not mad at you
for squealing on me yesterday.

Oh. Well, I'm glad
to know that, Beaver.

Uh,you know, I have rules
I must follow too.

Oh, sure. I understand now.

If you hadn't have done it,

I would have gotten away with
somethin' that would've got me
in a lot worser trouble.

That's right, Beaver.

You see, that's why teachers
have to be strict sometimes.

Well, if a teacher can keep you
out of little troubles now,

there's a— a good chance
you'll keep out of
bigger troubles later on.

Good night, Miss Canfield.

Good night, Beaver.