Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 1, Episode 17 - The Paper Route - full transcript
Ward refuses to give Wally and Beaver the close to $50 they need to buy a new bike, telling them a story about how people work for their money. Ward doesn't think they're going to do anything about it, but the boys get a paper route to raise the money. Their boss is Mr. Merkel - who they call Old Man Merkel - a taskmaster who will not hesitate to fire them if they goof up. Ward and June want the boys to learn some responsibility and understand that a lot of people are counting on them to deliver the newspaper on time. But Ward and June can't help but assist the boys when it looks like they may not be able to fulfill their job responsibilities. When Ward and June do something on the sly to help the boys, they inadvertently end up causing the boys problems instead of helping them out. Even this experience doesn't stop Ward from further meddling in trying to fix what he sees as his wrong. In the end, what the boys learn is that their parents love them.
Couldn‘t you at least
let us try, Mr. Merkle?
We‘ll work real hard.
We sure will.
Now, you‘re only on trial,
and remember something—
You make one mistake,
and I‘ll skin ya alive,
both of you.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
[Announcer]
Leave It To Beaver.
Starring Barbara Billingsley,
Hugh Beaumont, Tony Dow...
and Jerry Mathers as the Beaver.
[Knocking]
[Knocking]
[Knocking Continues]
[Knocking]
That‘s a fine place
to spend the day.
I was straightening up the closet,
and you shut me in.
I‘m sorry.
I didn‘t see you.
I have a sneaking suspicion
you did, but I can‘t prove it.
The boys home yet?
Uh-huh.
They‘re waiting for you.
They want to talk to you
about something.
What do they want
to talk to me about?
They didn‘t say, but it seems,
whatever it is, it‘s for your ears alone.
Well, I can understand the boys
wanting to confide in their father.
They know their old dad
can solve any problem.
They know that,
given the opportunity—
I think they want something.
I should have left you
in the closet.
Dinner will be ready
in a half an hour.
Let me see it again, Wally.
Take it easy!
Here he comes!
Well, hi, fellas.
Hi, Dad.
Hi, Dad. Have a nice day
at the office?
Yeah, a pretty nice day.
That‘s good, isn‘t it, Wally?
Yeah.
Boys,
your, uh, mother said
you wanted to see me
about something.
Yeah.
Well, you know, Dad,
we‘ve been late for school
the last couple of mornings now.
Late for school, huh?
Well, we can‘t have that, can we?
Yeah, we‘ve been late
ever since the tire fell off
our old bike.
Oh. Well, I think we could arrange
to put a new tire on your old bike.
Wouldn‘t it be better
to put a new bike on the old tire?
— A new bike?
— Yeah, Dad.
Well, that‘s, uh, certainly
a very nice—looking bicycle.
Should be for $52.98.
We‘ve been saving for it
for a long time, Dad.
You mean you boys have saved
enough money to buy this bike?
Well, not exactly, but we thought
maybe you could chip in a little.
Well, I think I could help out a little.
How much have you saved?
I think around six dollars,
almost.
We went to the movies
a couple of times.
That kind of ate into it.
Well, now, wait a minute, fellas.
I can‘t just give you almost $50.
[Wally]
Oh, we’ll pay you back, Dad.
I‘ll cut the grass
for the next five years.
And I‘ll pick up my room
for the rest of my life!
That‘s a very tempting offer, boys, but,
after all, I can‘t just hand you over $50.
You know, your old dad‘s
not made of money.
Well, gee, Dad,
how else are we gonna get the bike
if you don‘t buy it for us?
Fellows, um,
let me tell you a little story.
Everything all right upstairs?
Oh, sure.
I was, uh— I was just telling the boys
a little story about my college days.
About the time
you fumbled the ball
on the one—yard line?
Well, no, of course not.
Why would I tell them that?
No, they, um—
They were asking me for a bicycle,
so I told ‘em about the time
I wanted a car, and went out
and got myself a job and earned it.
Ward, I wish you wouldn‘t
tell the boys things like that.
They take everything you say
so seriously.
Well, uh,
I don‘t think you have to
worry about it.
I don‘t think they want
a new bicycle badly enough
to go to work for it.
Uh, I don‘t know
If I oughta give you guys
no paper route.
Your clothes are too good.
You look like the kind of kids
who‘d quit after the first week.
Gee, Mr. Merkle,
we never quit any other job.
We never even had
no nother job.
Who sent you guys down here?
Jack Pistell.
He used to work for you.
Pistell.
Ain‘t he the kid who moved away
without paying me?
No, sir. He fell off his bike
and broke his leg.
Oh,yeah.
I knew he did something
to mess me up.
Couldn‘t you at least
let us try, Mr. Merkle?
We‘ll work real hard.
We sure will.
And we won‘t break our legs.
And we‘ll even wear old clothes,
won‘t we, Wally?
Yeah.
We‘ll dump the papers off
at your house every day.
You fold them and wrap them
and have them delivered by 5:00.
On Saturday, you turn in your refunds,
and we make our collection.
Now, you‘re only on trial,
and remember something—
You make one mistake,
and I‘ll skin ya alive, both of you.
Yes, sir.
Now, you sign these papers here,
and you can start tomorrow night.
Here you are.
Oh! A present for me?
Uh—huh. It‘s the shelf paper
you asked for three days ago.
Oh, darling,
you shouldn‘t have done it.
And I do mean
you shouldn‘t have done it.
I bought some at the market
this morning.
Oh.
Well, a person can‘t have
too much shelf paper.
What‘s up?
I planted some marigolds.
Man at the nursery said it was
the wrong time of year.
[Horn Honking]
Oh, Ward!
Get his number.
He did that on purpose.
It‘s too late now, dear.
What do you suppose these are?
They‘re newspapers.
Oh, those are for us, Dad.
Yeah, those are for us.
Yeah, thanks a lot.
Hey, boys!
Wait a minute.
— What‘s this all about?
— It‘s our paper route, Dad.
We‘re gonna earn our bike
and surprise you,
just like you did your father.
But, boys,
you get home from school
pretty late as it is.
Isn‘t that a lot of papers
to deliver?
[Beaver]
Only/58.
But, Beaver!
Gee, Mom, there‘s nothing
to deliverin‘ papers.
You just fold ‘em up
and throw ‘em at people.
[June]
Wally!
Let‘s go and wrap ‘em.
But, Ward!
I think it‘s a good idea.
Gives them a sense
of responsibility.
Ward, every time the boys
start something like this,
you end up doing the job for them.
Like the time they were
gonna sell that perfume
to get a movie projector.
That was just that one time.
How ‘bout the time they were
gonna get two dollars for cutting
the Donaldsons‘ lawn?
You rented a power mower
and went over and did the job for them.
They were a lot younger then.
Believe me, this time
I‘m not gonna so much
as lift a hand to help ‘em.
Ha.
Oh, Ward. Well, look.
That‘s the saddest thing
I‘ve ever seen.
Oh, Ward, I just think
it‘s gonna be too much for them.
Ah, they‘ll be all right.
That‘s the way Bernard Baruch
got started.
How was that, Wally?
Hey, that was pretty good.
Lucky the window was open.
Shouldn‘t we get
that one, Wally?
Nah. The bushes are
the first place people look.
Well, Beaver,
what are you doing
out here all by yourself?
Folding newspapers, Mom.
Where‘s Wally?
He had to stay after school
for a makeup test.
Well, Beaver, you can‘t deliver
all of these newspapers by yourself.
I‘ve gotta, Mom.
If I don‘t get these papers
out by 5:00,
Old Man Merkle from the newspaper
is gonna skin us alive, both of us!
But, Beaver, it‘s getting late.
Why, you‘ll never
get all of these newspapers folded
By yourself in time to deliver them.
Then I guess I gotta get skinned alive.
I don‘t think I‘m gonna like that.
Look, Beaver, why don‘t you try
folding one like this?
See?
Like that.
That‘s real neat, Mom.
Let me try another one.
Gee, Mom,
you fold papers real swell.
Were you ever a paperboy?
No, I was never a paperboy,
but at school
I used to fold napkins
for the sorority house.
There.
—What time is it, Mom?
— My goodness. It‘s almost 5:00.
Uh—oh. If we don‘t get
these papers out by 5:00,
Old Man Merkle from the newspaper
says he‘s gonna fire us.
Well—
Well, Beaver, your father
isn‘t home yet, but—
Come on. I‘ll help you.
Gee, thanks, Mom.
But, Beaver, your father wanted
Wally and you to do this job,
so, uh, well,
let‘s not mention it, huh?
Okay.
Boy, will I be glad when Wally
has the route tomorrow night.
Wally.
Why didn‘t you
come in the back way?
‘Cause I didn‘t want
to get the kitchen wet, Dad.
Water doesn‘t show so much on rugs.
Of course not.
Well, Old Man Merkle called
from the newspaper.
He said you forgot to deliver
nine or 10 papers tonight.
Yeah, my list got all wet,
and some of the customers
ran together.
But I got another list upstairs.
Well, he seemed
pretty upset about it.
Yeah, that Old Man Merkle,
he‘s a mean guy.
He‘s always firing kids.
I‘d better get the other list
and go out again.
Wait a minute.
You mean you‘re going out
in this rain?
Gee, Dad, I‘ve gotta do my job,
like you said.
Yeah. Well, look,
I‘ll tell you what.
You go and get the list, and I‘ll
get the car out of the garage.
Gee. Thanks, Dad!
Yeah. Hey, did you get
all your papers wet?
Well, some did, but that‘s okay.
They always give us
a lot of extra ones.
Oh, Wally, uh.
about my helping you
this one time—
No need for your mother
to know about it.
Okay. I‘ll tell her
you didn‘t help me.
No, no, no, no.
Don‘t be dishonest.
Just don‘t mention it,
that‘s all.
June , what‘s this check for 6.20
from the City Cab Company?
Well, uh, you don‘t take cabs.
No. No, this one‘s yours, dear.
It‘s, uh, dated last Tuesday.
You been shopping over
on the expensive side
of town again?
Ward, you were so insistent
that the boys handle
this paper route by themselves...
that I wasn‘t going to tell you,
but, well, the Beaver got stuck
on Tuesday night,
and, well, I‘m afraid
we delivered the papers by cab.
June , you delivered
58 five—cent papers
in a $6.20 cab?
There was nothing else
I could do.
June , we‘ve got to let the boys learn
to stand on their own two feet.
Like the rainy night
you took the car out
and helped Wally deliver the papers?
Uh— Yeah, that‘s about
as good an example
as I can think of.
Guess we‘re both guilty.
Sometimes there‘s
nothing else you can do.
Now, June , I still insist
we shouldn‘t help the boys.
I agree.
And, uh, when we do help them,
we should help them without
their knowing we‘re helping them.
I agree.
Eighteen, i9—
Wally, we‘ve got an awful lot of papers
left over from last week.
Sure, Beaver.
These are extras.
But these are old papers,
and we already paid for ‘em.
Well, they call ‘em refunds.
We take ‘em back
to Old Man Merkle tomorrow
and get our money back.
You know, Wally?
I don‘t like that Old Man Merkle,
even when I get money back from him.
Have we made
any mistakes yet?
I don‘t think so.
Would Old Man Merkle be mad
about that dog rippin‘ your pants?
I don‘t know.
We better not tell him about it.
You know, workin‘ isn‘t as much fun
as I thought it‘d be.
I wonder why older people
do it so much.
They have to.
If they had fun like kids,
people would say they were silly.
You think our refunds
will be okay in here?
Sure. Who‘d ever touch
a bunch of last week‘s papers?
Wally and the Beaver
haven‘t been there, Mrs. Anderson?
Well, look, if Chester does see them,
would you have them call us, please?
All right. Thank you.
Good—bye.
June , you know what I found
out in the garage?
Wally and the Beaver‘s newspapers
all folded, wrapped and undelivered.
I know, dear. I saw them.
I‘ve been calling all over town,
trying to find them.
It‘s Saturday. They‘ve been
out playing and they‘ve probably
forgotten all about the newspapers.
They picked a great day to forget.
Saturday afternoon, with half the town
waiting for its newspaper.
Oh, Ward,
I hope they get here in time.
They‘ve had that job for a whole week,
and I‘d hate to see them lose it.
You wanna know something else?
I don‘t think Old Man Merkle is the type
to listen to excuses either.
Oh, Ward, you know they‘re not
gonna get here on time.
What are we gonna do
about it?
I guess we‘re gonna get the car out
and deliver those papers
as fast as we can.
Thanks a lot for the lift.
We got worried about the newspapers.
That‘s why we came down
to the newspaper office.
You kids are new.
The Saturday edition is always late.
That‘s on account of
it‘s got all the ball scores in it.
We‘ll remember that next time.
What about our refund copies?
We got ‘em in the garage.
You wanna take ‘em with ya?
No, you take ’em down to Merkle
on Monday and he’ll give you
your money back
You guys better get on the ball
Old Man Merkle’s a monster.
Oh, no! It says it‘s gonna rain
again tomorrow.
Again?
Dear, this is last Tuesday‘s paper
they just delivered.
Wait’ll I call
that crazy newspaper office!
Sorry.
Well, how do you like this, Marge?
They delivered last Monday‘s paper.
Yeah, well— Yeah, well—
Yeah, well, gee, Mr. Merkle,
we haven‘t delivered the papers yet.
Complaints? I don‘t know what
the people are talkin‘ about.
No, Mr. Merkle,
we‘re not being wise guys.
Oh. Well, all right. Okay.
What‘s the matter, Wally?
Mr. Merkle just fired us.
Fired us? What‘d we do?
He was yelling so loud,
I‘m not sure.
I think he said we delivered
last week‘s papers today.
How could we do that?
They‘re out in the garage.
Yeah.
I don‘t know what happened.
Well, I didn‘t think
we‘d make it.
Neither did I, especially when
we ran short and had to buy
extra copies at the newsstand.
Look at those nails.
Well, there you are.
Oh, hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.
Hi.
Well, boys, I must say
I‘m a little disappointed in both you
and your paper route.
So‘s Mr. Merkle.
He just fired us.
He fired you? What for?
[Wally]
Gee, Dad it wasn’t our fault
Somebody delivered
last week‘s papers.
Yeah, to all our customers.
Last week‘s papers?
Uh—huh. We left them all out
in the garage, on the workbench.
— All wrapped up in their raincoats.
- Oh.
Oh.
Uh—oh.
We better go see if they‘re
out on the workbench.
Boys. They‘re not
on the workbench.
Then where are they, Mom?
Well, we—
I mean, we—
This is one of those things
that a father can explain best.
Uh—Well, uh—
Will you sit down, boys?
No, thanks.
No, thanks.
I think I will.
[Clears Throat]
Uh—
Did I ever tell you about the time
I fumbled the ball on the one—yard line?
Well—
[Door Opens]
Boys, we‘ll have breakfast
as soon as your father gets back.
Did Dad go someplace
this early?
Well, he had to go
on a little errand
Okay, Mom.
Boys.
You know you have
a very wonderful father, don‘t you?
—Oh, sure, Mom.
—Oh, sure, Mom.
And you know the mistake yesterday
was just as much my fault as it was his.
That‘s okay, Mom.
It was just one of those things.
Yeah, it was just one of those things.
Thanks, boys.
Wally?
What, Beave?
Yesterday you would have thought
one of‘em would have looked
at the dates on those papers.
They were just trying to help.
Some parents wouldn‘t have
even done that.
Yeah, I guess we can‘t get
too mad at ‘em.
Uh—uh. And we can
always get a new job.
Yeah. I guess that‘s a lot better
than getting new parents.
Uh—
[Clears Throat]
[Clears Throat]
I see ya,jack.
I‘ll be with you in a minute.
Uh, son, I‘d like to speak to, uh,
Old Man Merkle.
I‘m Old Man Merkle.
Keep your shirt on.
Now, what‘s your problem,jack?
Well, uh, I‘d like to talk to you
about the two Cleaver boys.
Cleaver? Oh, you mean those two kids
who goofed up the route last night, huh?
You get last week‘s paper too?
Oh, no, no, no. I didn‘t.
No, you see, uh,
I‘m their father.
So?
Well, so, it—
it wasn‘t their fault
about the mix—up.
What do you mean,
It wasn‘t their fault?
It was their route, wasn‘t it?
Yes. Yes, it was,
but, uh—
[Chuckling]
Well, you see,
I delivered those papers.
[Chuckling]
Why would you do
a thing like that,jack?
My wife and I were trying
to help the boys, and we got
hold of the wrong papers,
and don‘t call me Jack.
Okay! Mister.
What do you want me to do?
I want you to give the boys
back their route.
It seems to me that even a man
with your limited perspicacity should be
able to see that‘s the only fair thing to do.
Are you trying
to insult me,jack?
[Sighs]
Uh—
Look, son, my company does
a good deal of advertising
with this paper.
Now, uh, do you think
we should settle this here,
or should I go upstairs?
Well, what guarantee have I got
that the route won‘t be messed up again?
You‘ve got my word for it,jack.
Well, okay.
Well, I got their job back.
Good. How‘d you do it?
I let a fellow call me “Jack.”
Oh, Wally, Beaver!
Well, I got good news for you, boys.
Got your job back.
Oh.
Boys, what‘s the matter?
Your father went
to a lot of trouble.
Yeah, I know, but, well, see,
I just talked to Chester,
and, well, he‘s gonna take us
down to the supermarket.
Yeah, we‘re gonna talk to the man
about packing boxes on weekends.
Well, but, boys,
your paper route—
[Horn Honking]
That‘s Chester‘s father now.
We gotta get goin‘.
Yeah, we don‘t wanna mess up
another job.
Now, wait, boys. Look—
Well, what do we do now?
I guess you fold,
and I wrap.
Hi.
Hi!
Where are the boys?
The new bike just came.
They‘re out unpacking it.
Oh. [Chuckles]
You know, it‘s funny.
I know I encouraged them
to earn their bike,
and I‘m proud they did,
but it does kind of put their father
in a nonessential class.
Oh, don‘t be silly. Go on out
and see if you can help them.
Well, maybe I will.
I‘ll just sort of wander
out that way.
[Exhaling]
Well, that‘s a mighty
fine—looking bicycle, boys.
Yeah, it‘s real neat, Dad.
You know, when my brother and I
got our bicycle together,
we had a terrible argument
about who was gonna get
the first ride.
We‘re not arguing, Dad.
Uh—uh. We just decided that.
Oh?
We want you
to have the first ride.
Oh, I guess you‘re kind of embarrassed
riding a kid‘s bike, huh?
Me? Not on your life!
let us try, Mr. Merkle?
We‘ll work real hard.
We sure will.
Now, you‘re only on trial,
and remember something—
You make one mistake,
and I‘ll skin ya alive,
both of you.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
[Announcer]
Leave It To Beaver.
Starring Barbara Billingsley,
Hugh Beaumont, Tony Dow...
and Jerry Mathers as the Beaver.
[Knocking]
[Knocking]
[Knocking Continues]
[Knocking]
That‘s a fine place
to spend the day.
I was straightening up the closet,
and you shut me in.
I‘m sorry.
I didn‘t see you.
I have a sneaking suspicion
you did, but I can‘t prove it.
The boys home yet?
Uh-huh.
They‘re waiting for you.
They want to talk to you
about something.
What do they want
to talk to me about?
They didn‘t say, but it seems,
whatever it is, it‘s for your ears alone.
Well, I can understand the boys
wanting to confide in their father.
They know their old dad
can solve any problem.
They know that,
given the opportunity—
I think they want something.
I should have left you
in the closet.
Dinner will be ready
in a half an hour.
Let me see it again, Wally.
Take it easy!
Here he comes!
Well, hi, fellas.
Hi, Dad.
Hi, Dad. Have a nice day
at the office?
Yeah, a pretty nice day.
That‘s good, isn‘t it, Wally?
Yeah.
Boys,
your, uh, mother said
you wanted to see me
about something.
Yeah.
Well, you know, Dad,
we‘ve been late for school
the last couple of mornings now.
Late for school, huh?
Well, we can‘t have that, can we?
Yeah, we‘ve been late
ever since the tire fell off
our old bike.
Oh. Well, I think we could arrange
to put a new tire on your old bike.
Wouldn‘t it be better
to put a new bike on the old tire?
— A new bike?
— Yeah, Dad.
Well, that‘s, uh, certainly
a very nice—looking bicycle.
Should be for $52.98.
We‘ve been saving for it
for a long time, Dad.
You mean you boys have saved
enough money to buy this bike?
Well, not exactly, but we thought
maybe you could chip in a little.
Well, I think I could help out a little.
How much have you saved?
I think around six dollars,
almost.
We went to the movies
a couple of times.
That kind of ate into it.
Well, now, wait a minute, fellas.
I can‘t just give you almost $50.
[Wally]
Oh, we’ll pay you back, Dad.
I‘ll cut the grass
for the next five years.
And I‘ll pick up my room
for the rest of my life!
That‘s a very tempting offer, boys, but,
after all, I can‘t just hand you over $50.
You know, your old dad‘s
not made of money.
Well, gee, Dad,
how else are we gonna get the bike
if you don‘t buy it for us?
Fellows, um,
let me tell you a little story.
Everything all right upstairs?
Oh, sure.
I was, uh— I was just telling the boys
a little story about my college days.
About the time
you fumbled the ball
on the one—yard line?
Well, no, of course not.
Why would I tell them that?
No, they, um—
They were asking me for a bicycle,
so I told ‘em about the time
I wanted a car, and went out
and got myself a job and earned it.
Ward, I wish you wouldn‘t
tell the boys things like that.
They take everything you say
so seriously.
Well, uh,
I don‘t think you have to
worry about it.
I don‘t think they want
a new bicycle badly enough
to go to work for it.
Uh, I don‘t know
If I oughta give you guys
no paper route.
Your clothes are too good.
You look like the kind of kids
who‘d quit after the first week.
Gee, Mr. Merkle,
we never quit any other job.
We never even had
no nother job.
Who sent you guys down here?
Jack Pistell.
He used to work for you.
Pistell.
Ain‘t he the kid who moved away
without paying me?
No, sir. He fell off his bike
and broke his leg.
Oh,yeah.
I knew he did something
to mess me up.
Couldn‘t you at least
let us try, Mr. Merkle?
We‘ll work real hard.
We sure will.
And we won‘t break our legs.
And we‘ll even wear old clothes,
won‘t we, Wally?
Yeah.
We‘ll dump the papers off
at your house every day.
You fold them and wrap them
and have them delivered by 5:00.
On Saturday, you turn in your refunds,
and we make our collection.
Now, you‘re only on trial,
and remember something—
You make one mistake,
and I‘ll skin ya alive, both of you.
Yes, sir.
Now, you sign these papers here,
and you can start tomorrow night.
Here you are.
Oh! A present for me?
Uh—huh. It‘s the shelf paper
you asked for three days ago.
Oh, darling,
you shouldn‘t have done it.
And I do mean
you shouldn‘t have done it.
I bought some at the market
this morning.
Oh.
Well, a person can‘t have
too much shelf paper.
What‘s up?
I planted some marigolds.
Man at the nursery said it was
the wrong time of year.
[Horn Honking]
Oh, Ward!
Get his number.
He did that on purpose.
It‘s too late now, dear.
What do you suppose these are?
They‘re newspapers.
Oh, those are for us, Dad.
Yeah, those are for us.
Yeah, thanks a lot.
Hey, boys!
Wait a minute.
— What‘s this all about?
— It‘s our paper route, Dad.
We‘re gonna earn our bike
and surprise you,
just like you did your father.
But, boys,
you get home from school
pretty late as it is.
Isn‘t that a lot of papers
to deliver?
[Beaver]
Only/58.
But, Beaver!
Gee, Mom, there‘s nothing
to deliverin‘ papers.
You just fold ‘em up
and throw ‘em at people.
[June]
Wally!
Let‘s go and wrap ‘em.
But, Ward!
I think it‘s a good idea.
Gives them a sense
of responsibility.
Ward, every time the boys
start something like this,
you end up doing the job for them.
Like the time they were
gonna sell that perfume
to get a movie projector.
That was just that one time.
How ‘bout the time they were
gonna get two dollars for cutting
the Donaldsons‘ lawn?
You rented a power mower
and went over and did the job for them.
They were a lot younger then.
Believe me, this time
I‘m not gonna so much
as lift a hand to help ‘em.
Ha.
Oh, Ward. Well, look.
That‘s the saddest thing
I‘ve ever seen.
Oh, Ward, I just think
it‘s gonna be too much for them.
Ah, they‘ll be all right.
That‘s the way Bernard Baruch
got started.
How was that, Wally?
Hey, that was pretty good.
Lucky the window was open.
Shouldn‘t we get
that one, Wally?
Nah. The bushes are
the first place people look.
Well, Beaver,
what are you doing
out here all by yourself?
Folding newspapers, Mom.
Where‘s Wally?
He had to stay after school
for a makeup test.
Well, Beaver, you can‘t deliver
all of these newspapers by yourself.
I‘ve gotta, Mom.
If I don‘t get these papers
out by 5:00,
Old Man Merkle from the newspaper
is gonna skin us alive, both of us!
But, Beaver, it‘s getting late.
Why, you‘ll never
get all of these newspapers folded
By yourself in time to deliver them.
Then I guess I gotta get skinned alive.
I don‘t think I‘m gonna like that.
Look, Beaver, why don‘t you try
folding one like this?
See?
Like that.
That‘s real neat, Mom.
Let me try another one.
Gee, Mom,
you fold papers real swell.
Were you ever a paperboy?
No, I was never a paperboy,
but at school
I used to fold napkins
for the sorority house.
There.
—What time is it, Mom?
— My goodness. It‘s almost 5:00.
Uh—oh. If we don‘t get
these papers out by 5:00,
Old Man Merkle from the newspaper
says he‘s gonna fire us.
Well—
Well, Beaver, your father
isn‘t home yet, but—
Come on. I‘ll help you.
Gee, thanks, Mom.
But, Beaver, your father wanted
Wally and you to do this job,
so, uh, well,
let‘s not mention it, huh?
Okay.
Boy, will I be glad when Wally
has the route tomorrow night.
Wally.
Why didn‘t you
come in the back way?
‘Cause I didn‘t want
to get the kitchen wet, Dad.
Water doesn‘t show so much on rugs.
Of course not.
Well, Old Man Merkle called
from the newspaper.
He said you forgot to deliver
nine or 10 papers tonight.
Yeah, my list got all wet,
and some of the customers
ran together.
But I got another list upstairs.
Well, he seemed
pretty upset about it.
Yeah, that Old Man Merkle,
he‘s a mean guy.
He‘s always firing kids.
I‘d better get the other list
and go out again.
Wait a minute.
You mean you‘re going out
in this rain?
Gee, Dad, I‘ve gotta do my job,
like you said.
Yeah. Well, look,
I‘ll tell you what.
You go and get the list, and I‘ll
get the car out of the garage.
Gee. Thanks, Dad!
Yeah. Hey, did you get
all your papers wet?
Well, some did, but that‘s okay.
They always give us
a lot of extra ones.
Oh, Wally, uh.
about my helping you
this one time—
No need for your mother
to know about it.
Okay. I‘ll tell her
you didn‘t help me.
No, no, no, no.
Don‘t be dishonest.
Just don‘t mention it,
that‘s all.
June , what‘s this check for 6.20
from the City Cab Company?
Well, uh, you don‘t take cabs.
No. No, this one‘s yours, dear.
It‘s, uh, dated last Tuesday.
You been shopping over
on the expensive side
of town again?
Ward, you were so insistent
that the boys handle
this paper route by themselves...
that I wasn‘t going to tell you,
but, well, the Beaver got stuck
on Tuesday night,
and, well, I‘m afraid
we delivered the papers by cab.
June , you delivered
58 five—cent papers
in a $6.20 cab?
There was nothing else
I could do.
June , we‘ve got to let the boys learn
to stand on their own two feet.
Like the rainy night
you took the car out
and helped Wally deliver the papers?
Uh— Yeah, that‘s about
as good an example
as I can think of.
Guess we‘re both guilty.
Sometimes there‘s
nothing else you can do.
Now, June , I still insist
we shouldn‘t help the boys.
I agree.
And, uh, when we do help them,
we should help them without
their knowing we‘re helping them.
I agree.
Eighteen, i9—
Wally, we‘ve got an awful lot of papers
left over from last week.
Sure, Beaver.
These are extras.
But these are old papers,
and we already paid for ‘em.
Well, they call ‘em refunds.
We take ‘em back
to Old Man Merkle tomorrow
and get our money back.
You know, Wally?
I don‘t like that Old Man Merkle,
even when I get money back from him.
Have we made
any mistakes yet?
I don‘t think so.
Would Old Man Merkle be mad
about that dog rippin‘ your pants?
I don‘t know.
We better not tell him about it.
You know, workin‘ isn‘t as much fun
as I thought it‘d be.
I wonder why older people
do it so much.
They have to.
If they had fun like kids,
people would say they were silly.
You think our refunds
will be okay in here?
Sure. Who‘d ever touch
a bunch of last week‘s papers?
Wally and the Beaver
haven‘t been there, Mrs. Anderson?
Well, look, if Chester does see them,
would you have them call us, please?
All right. Thank you.
Good—bye.
June , you know what I found
out in the garage?
Wally and the Beaver‘s newspapers
all folded, wrapped and undelivered.
I know, dear. I saw them.
I‘ve been calling all over town,
trying to find them.
It‘s Saturday. They‘ve been
out playing and they‘ve probably
forgotten all about the newspapers.
They picked a great day to forget.
Saturday afternoon, with half the town
waiting for its newspaper.
Oh, Ward,
I hope they get here in time.
They‘ve had that job for a whole week,
and I‘d hate to see them lose it.
You wanna know something else?
I don‘t think Old Man Merkle is the type
to listen to excuses either.
Oh, Ward, you know they‘re not
gonna get here on time.
What are we gonna do
about it?
I guess we‘re gonna get the car out
and deliver those papers
as fast as we can.
Thanks a lot for the lift.
We got worried about the newspapers.
That‘s why we came down
to the newspaper office.
You kids are new.
The Saturday edition is always late.
That‘s on account of
it‘s got all the ball scores in it.
We‘ll remember that next time.
What about our refund copies?
We got ‘em in the garage.
You wanna take ‘em with ya?
No, you take ’em down to Merkle
on Monday and he’ll give you
your money back
You guys better get on the ball
Old Man Merkle’s a monster.
Oh, no! It says it‘s gonna rain
again tomorrow.
Again?
Dear, this is last Tuesday‘s paper
they just delivered.
Wait’ll I call
that crazy newspaper office!
Sorry.
Well, how do you like this, Marge?
They delivered last Monday‘s paper.
Yeah, well— Yeah, well—
Yeah, well, gee, Mr. Merkle,
we haven‘t delivered the papers yet.
Complaints? I don‘t know what
the people are talkin‘ about.
No, Mr. Merkle,
we‘re not being wise guys.
Oh. Well, all right. Okay.
What‘s the matter, Wally?
Mr. Merkle just fired us.
Fired us? What‘d we do?
He was yelling so loud,
I‘m not sure.
I think he said we delivered
last week‘s papers today.
How could we do that?
They‘re out in the garage.
Yeah.
I don‘t know what happened.
Well, I didn‘t think
we‘d make it.
Neither did I, especially when
we ran short and had to buy
extra copies at the newsstand.
Look at those nails.
Well, there you are.
Oh, hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.
Hi.
Well, boys, I must say
I‘m a little disappointed in both you
and your paper route.
So‘s Mr. Merkle.
He just fired us.
He fired you? What for?
[Wally]
Gee, Dad it wasn’t our fault
Somebody delivered
last week‘s papers.
Yeah, to all our customers.
Last week‘s papers?
Uh—huh. We left them all out
in the garage, on the workbench.
— All wrapped up in their raincoats.
- Oh.
Oh.
Uh—oh.
We better go see if they‘re
out on the workbench.
Boys. They‘re not
on the workbench.
Then where are they, Mom?
Well, we—
I mean, we—
This is one of those things
that a father can explain best.
Uh—Well, uh—
Will you sit down, boys?
No, thanks.
No, thanks.
I think I will.
[Clears Throat]
Uh—
Did I ever tell you about the time
I fumbled the ball on the one—yard line?
Well—
[Door Opens]
Boys, we‘ll have breakfast
as soon as your father gets back.
Did Dad go someplace
this early?
Well, he had to go
on a little errand
Okay, Mom.
Boys.
You know you have
a very wonderful father, don‘t you?
—Oh, sure, Mom.
—Oh, sure, Mom.
And you know the mistake yesterday
was just as much my fault as it was his.
That‘s okay, Mom.
It was just one of those things.
Yeah, it was just one of those things.
Thanks, boys.
Wally?
What, Beave?
Yesterday you would have thought
one of‘em would have looked
at the dates on those papers.
They were just trying to help.
Some parents wouldn‘t have
even done that.
Yeah, I guess we can‘t get
too mad at ‘em.
Uh—uh. And we can
always get a new job.
Yeah. I guess that‘s a lot better
than getting new parents.
Uh—
[Clears Throat]
[Clears Throat]
I see ya,jack.
I‘ll be with you in a minute.
Uh, son, I‘d like to speak to, uh,
Old Man Merkle.
I‘m Old Man Merkle.
Keep your shirt on.
Now, what‘s your problem,jack?
Well, uh, I‘d like to talk to you
about the two Cleaver boys.
Cleaver? Oh, you mean those two kids
who goofed up the route last night, huh?
You get last week‘s paper too?
Oh, no, no, no. I didn‘t.
No, you see, uh,
I‘m their father.
So?
Well, so, it—
it wasn‘t their fault
about the mix—up.
What do you mean,
It wasn‘t their fault?
It was their route, wasn‘t it?
Yes. Yes, it was,
but, uh—
[Chuckling]
Well, you see,
I delivered those papers.
[Chuckling]
Why would you do
a thing like that,jack?
My wife and I were trying
to help the boys, and we got
hold of the wrong papers,
and don‘t call me Jack.
Okay! Mister.
What do you want me to do?
I want you to give the boys
back their route.
It seems to me that even a man
with your limited perspicacity should be
able to see that‘s the only fair thing to do.
Are you trying
to insult me,jack?
[Sighs]
Uh—
Look, son, my company does
a good deal of advertising
with this paper.
Now, uh, do you think
we should settle this here,
or should I go upstairs?
Well, what guarantee have I got
that the route won‘t be messed up again?
You‘ve got my word for it,jack.
Well, okay.
Well, I got their job back.
Good. How‘d you do it?
I let a fellow call me “Jack.”
Oh, Wally, Beaver!
Well, I got good news for you, boys.
Got your job back.
Oh.
Boys, what‘s the matter?
Your father went
to a lot of trouble.
Yeah, I know, but, well, see,
I just talked to Chester,
and, well, he‘s gonna take us
down to the supermarket.
Yeah, we‘re gonna talk to the man
about packing boxes on weekends.
Well, but, boys,
your paper route—
[Horn Honking]
That‘s Chester‘s father now.
We gotta get goin‘.
Yeah, we don‘t wanna mess up
another job.
Now, wait, boys. Look—
Well, what do we do now?
I guess you fold,
and I wrap.
Hi.
Hi!
Where are the boys?
The new bike just came.
They‘re out unpacking it.
Oh. [Chuckles]
You know, it‘s funny.
I know I encouraged them
to earn their bike,
and I‘m proud they did,
but it does kind of put their father
in a nonessential class.
Oh, don‘t be silly. Go on out
and see if you can help them.
Well, maybe I will.
I‘ll just sort of wander
out that way.
[Exhaling]
Well, that‘s a mighty
fine—looking bicycle, boys.
Yeah, it‘s real neat, Dad.
You know, when my brother and I
got our bicycle together,
we had a terrible argument
about who was gonna get
the first ride.
We‘re not arguing, Dad.
Uh—uh. We just decided that.
Oh?
We want you
to have the first ride.
Oh, I guess you‘re kind of embarrassed
riding a kid‘s bike, huh?
Me? Not on your life!