Las Vegas (2003–2008): Season 4, Episode 3 - The Story of Owe - full transcript

[The Raconteurs'
Steady As She Goes plays]

*

[alarm beeping]

Sorry.
I have to go to work at 7:00.

That's okay.

I have to get up too.

7:00, huh?

Do you think
we have time?

I got a minute
and a half.

Do you realize
how great this is?

The sex?



The whole thing.

The sex, we like
to hang out together,

we make each other laugh.

You gonna waste time
talking about feelings,

or you wanna get busy?

You have a boyfriend?

Come on, Polly, you know
I don't need a boyfriend.

Anyway,
I'm too busy.

That what I think.

Mani, pedi, waxing.
Always busy.

Then I meet Chul Ho.

Chul Ho?

Marquez...

and Chae.



Thank you.

He have a good job.

Make part for spa
no one else make.

Very rich,
and he hung like a donkey.

That's great, Polly.
Good for you.

And he use fingers
special way.

Not the regular place.
Not the backdoor.

In between.

What the hell?

I know.

I surprise too,
but it feels so good.

You want me show you?

They made a mistake on my check.
This is way too low.

Oh, no.
This no good.

Smudge work of art.

I have to get
to the bottom of this.

Okay, you see who up
to monkey business.

I love you!

Danny.

Is there any way
you can spare

a teensy bit more
closet space?

My stuff is getting
kinda smushed.

Whatever you need.

Hi!

Have you seen Sam?

No.

You think DeLinda and
I should move in together?

Is there something
I don't know about?

Another impromptu proposal?
A bun in the oven?

No, it's just that we spend
virtually every night together.

She's already leaving
her toothbrush, her clothes,

her curlers at my place.

Sounds like she's pretty much
living there already.

Yeah, well,
I don't mind.

It's just I figured--

Why not consolidate things?
Save some money.

Right.
Exactly.

Come on, man.

You know this ain't
about saving money.

What's it about?

Sex, love, convenience,

and in this case, Ed.

We're adults, okay?

We can make our
own decisions.

And I'm not afraid of Ed.

That's the story
you're sticking with?
Yeah.

Right on, brother.
Right on!

Hey.
Excuse me.

What did you find out?

You're check was low,

because three of your clients
stiffed us.

Three in the same
two-week period?
Mm-hmm.

Sort of a perfect storm
of deadbeats.

Nelson Fox--
He wrote a check.

From a closed account.

Gerald Staley.
He said
he'd send a check.

He didn't.
And Billie Pierce.

I saw her in the office
on her way out.

Shoulda, woulda, coulda.

You need to do something.

I'm afraid this
is Ed's department.

Cameras, secret contacts.
I know you can find them.

I don't need
to find them.

I know exactly
where they are.

So what are we waiting for?

We're taking the steps
that we take.

I'm sorry you hit
the trifecta, Sam,

but it is our corporate policy
not to take aggressive action

unless the debt exceeds
$250,000.

Okay, great.

They're combined debt
exceeds half a million.

I know I'm not supposed
to get my commission--

It is not cost effective.

These kinda of people--
They can't stay away.

They have a real tough time
staying away.

So the minute
they come back--boom.

We got 'em.

Ed?
Yeah?

I had to send my aunt
some money she needed

for an operation
she needs.

Sam, you had to send
your aunt some money?

All right.
I bought a new car.

I really need the money.

Okay, I will make one of our
corporate jets available to you.

Fox is in L.A.
Staley is in Denver.

And Pierce is in Caracas.
But forget about Pierce, okay?

Forget about Pierce.
Okay.
Right.

So I just go
and I say--

No, no, no.

What you will do
is you will call this guy.

Okay.

And he will collect
the money.

You tell him that
I gave you his number.

Okay.

And understand that this

is a strictly
off-the-books job.

Of course.

And tell him
I don't want another Akron.

What's Akron?

Less than professional
conduct.

Does he beat people up?

He will take a percentage
of what he collects.

And it's up to you two
to work the rest of it out.

Mmm.

Warren Pemberton.

Sounds like a professor.

Believe me.

You don't want Warren
teaching you a lesson.

Ta-ta.

I like him already.

You must be Warren.

Warren Pemberton.

Here's your table.

Look, sweetheart,
we're having a meeting here.

Don't sit anybody
near us, okay?

Of course.

I have written down the names
and addresses of our subjects.

Subjects?

I don't know if Ed told you,

but I'm not the FBI.

What should I call them?

How about
"douche bags that owe me money"?

Well, there's the names
of the two douche bags

who owe me 380 grand.

Douche bag number three
owes me 120,

but she's out
of the country.

I'm gonna need
business addresses,

country clubs,
places of worship--

(hostess)
Right this way, please.

And where their kids go
to school.

Listen, Warren.

I know that you might have to
use some form of intimidation,

But...you're not gonna actually
hurt anybody, right?

Did Ed tell you
what a monster I am?

He told me
you get the job done.

That's right.
But not by killing and maiming.

What sense would that make?

I kick a guy's face in,
he may pay off.

But he may go to the cops and
have me arrested for assault.

Let me tell you something.

I show up
on your doorstep.

Unless you're a complete moron,
you're gonna pay.

Two reasons.

One, if the hotel is sending me,
you know they're serious,

and you're not getting a pass.

Two, everyone has
an imagination.

Now, it's only natural
for you to imagine

what a guy like me will do
if you don't pay.

That's all I need.

Imagination.

Okay.

Don't worry.
No violence.

Great.

Can I get you something?
On the house--

And I get 20%
of the take.

Could you live with 10%?

Now, why would I do that?

Why not?

15%.

Done.
I come with you.

You comeith me?
Oh, yeah.
I come with you.

How else am I gonna know

how much money you get
out of these people?

Should I believe
what you tell me?

You know, you're lucky I have
a soft spot for ballsy chicks.

Becky.

Hi.
How are you?

Good. How are you?
It's good
to see you again.

Good to see you.
Where's Don?

Over there, gambling away
a small fortune as usual.

I snuck over
to ask a favor.

Yeah, sure.
Whatever you need.

Don's 40th birthday
is this weekend.

And as his present,
I wanted to give him

a day with Ed Deline.

A day with me?

I can understand
a day without me.

You don't understand.

Ed, can I be completely honest
with you?

You only know Don
as the high roller

who shows up every few months.

I live with him.

Don has no personality.

He's boring and spineless.

Can I be perfectly honest
with you?

Please.

If the guy's such a loser,
why'd you marry him?

Money.

Does he know that?

Of course not.

Look, if you could just
toughen him up a little.

Impart a little
of that reckless charm of yours.

Maybe I could learn
to love him.

I guess it's a favor
for both of us.

Spend his money now.
Learn to love him later.

Hopefully.

Yeah.

Yeah
What the hell.

The guy only has one
40th birthday, right?

Thank you so much.

Oh, sure.

Polly.

You have a minute?

Sure.

Oh, DeLinda look nice.

Breast perky.
Men like.

Me like too, you know.

Actually, I had
a man-related question.

I heard you just moved in
with a guy.

Oh, Chul Ho.

Sam tell you
how he use finger,

find the V spot?
No.

I was just wondering.

Danny and I are sort of thinking
about living together and--

Are you guys glad you did?

Oh, happy like a clam.

Bearded clam.

That joke.
Oh.

But living with Chul Ho
make tired too.

Hide salami every minute.
You like that?

Well, I don't know
about every minute.

I get home now
so Chul Ho do Abraham Lincoln.

You know,
I play slave he free me.

His favorite.

Okay, you decide Danny
for self.

Okay.

Hey, Mike, Dunder-Mifflin
just booked another ballroom.

So you might wanna get
some extra security guards.

Thanks.
Will do.
Good.

So are we cool now?

Yeah.

For the record, I never thought
happy, sweet Mary

was always as happy and sweet
as everyone else did.

You could tell, huh?

How often were you faking it?

About a third of the time.

And then I stopped
pretending.

Then it helped.

Then I became
more assertive.

And that helped.

And then I started going out
with Casey.

And I thought
that was helping

until he ran away
with his bodyguards.

And then this whole
Danny and DeLinda thing

that I should've give
a rat's ass about.

But I do.

I don't know.

Maybe nothing changes, right?

Sounds like D.S.

Discombobulation Syndrome.

I had it, and I'll tell you
how to get rid of it.

Self-confidence
revitalization.

I don't know
who is more full of crap:

you or Dr. Phil.

No, I'm serious.

A few years ago,

I was sorta confused
about my life's direction.

Down in the dumps.

What got me out of that
was confronting my biggest fear,

which at the time
was snakes.

So I went to a reptile park

and handled a boa and python
for half an hour.

Since then, let's just say
it's Mike Cannon's world,

and y'all are just
living in it.

You really are
full of crap.

I really appreciate this, Ed.

This is what you wanted
for your birthday--

a day with me.

My wife thinks it'll help me.
Inspire me.

But it's what you want?

Honestly, I wanted to go
to St. Barts with Becky,

but she didn't want to.

She likes Vegas.
She likes the opping.

It is your 40th birthday,
isn't it, Don?

You're supposed to be doing
what you want to do.

You and Becky ever do that?
What you want to do?

Yeah, she's pretty set
in her ways.

And I don't like confrontation.

Well, we're gonna try
to change that.

'Cause confrontation
is what I do best.

(Warren)
Yeah, I never liked L.A.

Why not?

I prefer a more vibrant
local theater scene.

I got you.

No, you didn't.

Just for the record,
I've never been to a play.

Good, 'cause I hate plays,
especially musicals.

Oh, this is it.

You're not driving in?

You gotta be buzzed in and out
of the driveway.

That gate's open.

We might have to leave
in a hurry.

Hello.
Yes.
Mr. Fox please.

One moment please.

Mr. Fox.

Warren Pemberton.

I work for
the Montecito Hotel.

Look, I'm sure
it's just an oversight,

but seeing as how
you owe the hotel

a considerable amount
of money

I thought
it'd be easier for you

if I came down here in person
to colle.

Listen, Mister...
Pemberton.

Right.

I don't like people showing up
at my house uninvited,

Mr.Pemberton.

Particularly,
people like you.

And as far as
this supposed debt goes--

Ugh!

It's not a supposed debt, pal.

It's as real as it gets.

My checkbook's inside or
you can follow me to the bank.

Go get it.

What happened to no violence?

You know,
I don't know what came over me.

Mmm.

Next stop, Denver.

X(Sam)
So all things being equal,

I would've preferred
nonviolence.

But, uh, all things being equal,
I liked it.

[giggling]

So what happened
to all your concerns

about assault charges?

That was just
to reassure you.

The fact is, they all know
that even if I go away,

there'll be 50 guys
just like me

ready to show up
at their doorstep.

Yeah, when did you decide
to pound him?

Tell you can't pay,
tell me you won't pay.

Don't tell me
you don't owe.

That's just disrespectful.

Wanna grab a drink?

You know,
it's getting late.

I'm gonna go upstairs
and go to bed.

I'm a little wired,
so I'm gonna go grab one.

Or three, or seven.

Down here.
9:00 AM.

Yes, sir.

Right this way, ladies.

Hey!
Mike.

Hey.

I been thinking about
what you said.

About how petting snakes
changed your life.

I wouldn't say petting.

They were all over
my shoulders, Mary.

My neck!
But that's great.

What is the fear
you wanna overcome?

Bungee jumping?

Spiders!

Stand-up comedy.

Seeing it?

Doing it.

Terrifies me.

Every time I see a stand-up,
I think what would happen

if nobody laughed
and how horrible that would be

for the comic.

Not your traditional
biggest fear but--

So I'm gonna do it.

There's an open mic tomorrow
at the Comedy Corral.

Well, do you have
any material?

Yeah, I'm working
on some bits

about the airlines.

Always funny.

It is, right?
Will you come with me?

Wouldn't miss it.

Hey, you know,
this has been great, Ed.

Above and beyond.

But I've taken up too much
of your time already.

Don, I'm sorry.

I know this has been
a boring day for you.

Not at all.

Most of my days
aren't like this.

This is very unusual.

And because of that,
I wasn't able to show you

how to assert yourself.

I mean, all I did was
walk the floor and sign papers.

No.
I learned a lot.

Becky'll be very pleased.

See, that just proves to me
that you didn't learn

what I wanted you to learn.

I mean, the idea was not
to please Becky.

Oh, no.
I only meant that she--

You are coming back tomorrow.

Yes, sir.

Hey.
Hey.

You make that
cohabitation decision?

No, not yet.

But I do have
a question for you.

You used to live with one
of your old girlfriends, right?

Yeah.
Right after college.

The one you turned gay?
No.

I didn't turn her gay.

[gasps]
[alarm]

Where we going
with this, Danny?

Oh dear, my cane.

That guy just ripped off
that lady's ticket.

[dramatic music]

*

(Danny)
You okay?

Thank you.

[imitating Elvis]
Thank you very much.

Where's the ticket?

What ticket?

What are you talking about?

If you don't know
what I'm talking about,

then why'd you run?

I just got paroled.
I'm still a little jittery.

Ah, well, you can relax,

because you're going
back to prison.

Come on.

So what did you wanna ask me
about living with my girlfriend?

Oh, yeah.

What did you do
when you had to...grow a tail?

What?

Go number two.
What did you do?

I went.

What do you do
when DeLinda's over?

I hold it.

That's how you get
hemorrhoids.

Cops'll be here soon.

You know he's right.

So you would just go
to the bathroom and go?

With your girlfriend
right outside?

Yeah.

What about the--

Funk?
Yeah.

Air fresheners, my man.

Or if you wanna
go old school, matches.

That does always work.

Keeps the funk
out of your face.

Danny McCoy.

Danny, where are you?

Outside the holding room.

Right outside the holding room.
What's going on?

So that's
what you guys do down here?

You just crackin'
each other up?

No, we picked up
a slot ticket thief.

He was robbing this old lady
right in front of us.

Damn, I could've used
some of that today.

Huh?

Listen, I need you guys
for a few minutes tomorrow

Okay.

Do either of you guys know
a high roller named Don Ray?

I met him.

I don't believe so.

Good, then you be the guy
I throw out.

Come again, sir?

This Don Ray's got
this bitch of a wife

that just walks all over
this poor guy.

So he wanted to kinda hang
around with me

to learn how to man up.

But unfortunately,
nothing happened today

that required me to--

Kick some ass.

Kick some ass.

So now the guy comes
and he begs me,

you know,
to come back tomorrow.

I can't have this guy
hangin' around forever.

So I gotta stage
a little incident

for educational purposes.

And this incident involves
an ass-kicking?

You will be the unruly patron.

Danny, you're gonna have
trouble getting him to leave.

I don't think
that I'd have much trouble.

Oh, you'd have
a world of trouble.

I wouldn't wish unruly Michael
on my worst--

Stop you two, please!

Stop!

You will request
my help.

Okay.

And then I'll handle thing,
you know, my way.

Okay, maybe we should go through

a couple of half-speed
rehearsals.

No, no, no.

It's 10:00 tomorrow morning at
the high stakes blackjack table.

Just to eliminate--
I said 10:00
tomorrow morning.

We'll be there.

Compliments of the guy
over there.

If I was staring,
I apologize.

But you are really gorgeous.

I'm Ben.

Hi, Ben.

Hi.

I don't let boys buy me drinks.

I don't wanna talk about
why I'm in town or what I do.

I'm not gonna give you
my phone number,

and there's no way in hell
I'd ever have sex with you.

You're with me, leather.

The man knows what to say.

Good night, Mr. Stevenson.

Good night.

What's your floor?

33.

[ding]

What do you think?

There's something I think
we should talk about.

I agree.

But I don't have time
right now.

No, me neither.

Can we meet after work?
We could go grab some dinner...

talk.

Like a date?

Yeah, I guess.

We haven't gone
on many dates before.

We just sort of
end up places together.

Actually,
we've never been on a date.

Well, then it's a date...

to talk.

Great.

I'll be there.
Wherever you make reservations.

And I'll be wearing
a dress.

(Ed)
It's all about being
the pack leader.

With your employees,
with your wife.

Hey, you ever see that Mexican
dog training guy on television?

I love this guy.

Now what he says is that

a dog will only love
and respect its owner

if the owner shows him
that he's the pack leader.

Now, that applies
to humans as well.

Do you want your wife
to love and respect you more?

Yeah, of course.

You gotta show her
you're the pack leader.

The way you do that

is with a firm,
unquestioned exercise

of your power and authority.

You are the boss.

I'm the boss.

Right.
Come on.

Hello, Mr. Ray.
Ed, I'm sorry to bother you.

But there's a guy acting up

over by the high stakes
blackjack table.

I tried to throw him out,
but he won't leave.

Will you please help?
Please?

Yeah.
Firm exercise of power.

Excuse me, sir.

For you.
Thank you.

Yeah?

My colleague here says

that you're refusing
to vacate the casino.

That's right...
old timer.

Because he didn't tell me
why I had to leave.

Hit me.

Tell him.

You have to leave
because you were...

bothering people.

There's your answer, son.

Now you got five seconds.

5...
5...

4...
4...

3...
3...

Hey, hey, man!

Hey!

Ah!

(Ed)
Nobody disobeys orders
here at the Montecito.

You understand?
Ah!

Ooh!

If I ever see you
in here again,

you ain't walking out.

You're gonna get
carried out.

Ah!

You understand that?

Ooh!
Yes, sir.

Get the hell out of here.

And stay out!

Wow.

That was some
exercise of power.

That's the way
I handle guys like that.

Sam.
What a surprise.

What brings you to Denver?

Your gambling debt.

I can't believe
you did this, Sam.

I can't believe
you stiffed me, Gerald.

Obviously, I won't be returning
to the Montecito.

Good.
Something we agree on.

You wanna wire that money
or get a cashier's check

while we look
at your fish?

As I said, I'm dealing
with the Montecito.

Gerald.

No lying.

In case you're wondering,
there are six security personnel

on this floor alone.

You didn't have much money
before you married your wife,

did you?

The fact is her old man
set you up in this job.

She know about
the $200,000 you owe

or that you lost 2 million
in the last 18 months?

(Warren)
Does the board at the
Cherry Hills Country Club know?

Or the admissions committee
at that private school

you're trying
to get your kid into?

Sam, this is blackmail.

I like the yellow ones.

That was nice.
The wife and club.

How'd you know
about the private school?

I guessed.

Guessed?

He had a picture of his kid
behind the desk.

The kid looked about four.

Public schools
in this guy's area

aren't that hot.

So, I figured
he's going private.

See, and I thought all you had
to know was how to break legs.

You did a good job
in there.

Yeah?
Thanks.

Hey, listen.

I just wanted you to know
that I love working with you.

And I love
to hang out with you.

But I'm just thinking...
last night was a mistake.

So, still friends?

I'll think about it.

(Danny)
Okay.

What I wanted
to talk to you about--

Before we start,

since this is
our first real date,

let's pretend like
we just met.

That we're just getting
to know each other.

This is kinda lame.

No, it's not.

Just tell me something about you
I don't already know.

Something...embarrassing.

I stole a pack of gum
when I was eight.

That's not embarrassing.

Okay, top it.

Okay.

I once fell asleep
in my own vomit.

Outstanding.

Well, now that
we've shared that--

We might as well
move in together.

Is that
what you were thinking?

Yeah.
What about you?

Yeah.
Yeah.

You think that we should.

Yeah, I mean I have only
one concern.

I mean, Danny,

we've never spent
continuous time together.

You know, like,
several days in a row.

So you're thinking like
a trial run?

Exactly.

Somewhere away from here.

Airlines have a lot
of weird, new rules, right?

I swear, I think there's
a new one that says

in order
to be a flight attendant,

you have to be
over 60 and hate people.

As bad as things are
with airlines,

they keep making cutbacks.

Last flight I was on,
my flight attendant said,

"Miss, would you like
your meal?"

And I said,
"What are my options?"

And she says, "Yes or no."

[taps microphone]

Is this thing on?

All right.
Here you are safe and sound.

Yeah.

Well, I guess this is it.

Yeah.

See you around.

Sam.

Maybe we could...

get together some time.

I'll think about it.

Ed?
Yeah.

I wanted to grab you
before you left.

What's going on?

Did you attack Mike Cannon
in a men's room today?

You heard about that,
huh?

Yes, from an employee
who says it traumatized him.

He's suing us.

The employee's
a maintenance worker.

Al Lopez.

Heidi, hold my calls.
Yes, sir.

According to the statement
he provided,

he saw you, his boss,
throwing another employee

Mike Cannon into a wall
while verbally threatening him.

Is that an accurate
representation of what occurred?

It was a joke.

Mr. Lopez isn't laughing.

If the guy hasn't got
a sense of humor,

I don't even want him here.

Tell him he's fired.

Look, Cathy...

Danny, Michael, and I were
just putting on a show

for a guest,

a high roller
whose gold-diggin' wife

bosses him around
all the time.

So we're just trying
to show him

how to maybe improve
his situation at home.

By throwing Mike
against a wall?

If I didn't know you better,

I'd say you were encouraging
spousal abuse.

We're just trying to give
the shlub a little backbone.

In any event, Lopez says
he's afraid to show up for work.

Afraid that
if he does anything wrong,

he'll be physically
attacked.

Ed, I really think
if it was all a little show,

you should explain that to him
and apologize.

Apologize?

I am not apologizing
to some scam artist

who's trying to extort us.

Would you rather deal
with a hostile workplace suit?

Yeah, maybe.

Hey.

I was awful.

No.
Oh, please.
I stunk up the place.

No, listen.

For your first time up there,
I think you did pretty well.

Yeah, well.

At least I did it,
right?

I conquered my worst fear.

That's right.
That's the important thing.

I'm gonna go get the car
and pull it around.
Please.

How you doing?
Hey.

I'm Adam Carolla.

Yeah, I know.

I'm not trying
to pick up on you.

I just remember
my first time on stage.

Ah, right.

You got the whole
pity thing going.

A little bit.

So did you go up there
on a dare?

No.
Why?

Woman's intuition.

People go up there.
You know, they get pushed up.

They're funny
around the office

or something like that.

They you figure, well,
I can do five minutes on stage.

Nobody at work
thinks I'm funny at all.

I'm actually here
to conquer my worst fear.

Stand-up comedy
is your worst fear?
Yeah.

Must be nice.

For me,
it's a terrorist attack.

But I'm weird.

Can I give you a little piece
of unsolicited advice?

Yes.

Don't make up jokes.

You should just draw
from your experience.

Like family, your job.

Just let it come
organically.

Could I ask you a favor?
Sure.

Could I pick your brain
for a couple minutes

about comedy?

Yeah, it'll be like
Inside t Actor's Studio.

Let me strike up
my best blow hard pose.

I don't get it.
I mean, she was bad.

Not even a chuckle.

And she says she's going
back for more.

DeLinda and I
are going on a trip

to see if we're compatible
for more than 24 hours.

Okay.
Makes sense.

Living with someone
is about compromise, right?

Ever day of the year.

So the fact that I agreed
to take a trip to New England

to see the leaves turn color
doesn't make me a wimp?

A little.

But being a little bit of a wimp
is what compromise is all about.

By the way, a little late
for the primo fall foliage.

Could you tell DeLinda that?

Not a chance.

What does Ed want?
I don't know.

Hey, boys.

How's the elbow, Mike?
Better.

Is that what they call
method acting?

Should've had a rehearsal.

Anyway, listen, there was this
maintenance employee

in the bathroom
when we put on our little show.

Apparently, we scared him.

So Cathy Burson says

he's going to file
a hostile workplace suit

unless we expln everything.

So just call him in
and tell him.

Well, I thought
we'd do it together.

You're his boss.
It was your plan.

And you're what,
a smart ass?

You're going.

Mike, you don't have to go.

Yeah?

Okay, good.
I'll be right down there.

And call Sam.
Tell her to be there too.

He's coming later.

Why doesn't he have to go?

Hey, Ed.

Look.
I'm gambling.

Becky wanted to have lunch.

I told her she's just gonna
have to wait a few minutes.

That's my tough guy.

[laughs]

All right.
Here we go.

Eleven.
Winner.
Yes!

(Ed)
Excuse me, Cory.

Yes, Mr. Deline?

Ah, you didn't give Ms. Pierce
a marker, did you?

No, Mr. Deline.
'Right, good.
Thanks.

Close this table down, please.
Color her out.
Yes, sir.

I don't even get
a "Hello, Billie" first?

Hello, Sam.
Hi, Billie.

Hello, Ed.
How are you?

Don't worry.
I'm using cash.

Ms. Pierce,
as you hopefully remember,

you still owe us $183,000.

Now you told our office

that the money would be wired
three weeks ago.

It wasn't, and you're not
returning our phone calls.

It's just a silly
misunderstanding

Actually,
it's a legal obligation.

And until that debt is paid,

you're not welcome here
at the Montecito.

This is an outrage!

If you think
I'm gonna pay you now

after being treated like
some criminal.

Get her outta here,
please.

So what about the money?

Don't hold your breath.

Warren.
Hey, it's Sam.

Billie Pierce is back.

Uh-huh.
Ed through her out.

She's waiting for a limo
to pick her up,

and the valet says the
driver's about 15 minutes away.

(Sam)
Yep, meet you out front.

That her?

(Warren)
We might have a problem.

What?

I don't get physical
with women.

I have an idea.

[tires screeching]

Hey, what the hell
are you doing?

Hi.

We'd like
to have our money.

I guess all that concern
about me having a good time

was just a big act.

Yeah.
Completely phony.

But we would love
to have our money.

Well, that's good,

except you're really not
getting it now.

I wouldn't get her mad, lady,
if I were you.

I'm gonna give you
one more chance.

And then I'm gonna have
to kick your ass.

I'm going to turn you into
the police.

Oh!

Thank you, ma'am.
May I have another.

Oh, all right.
I'll pay.

(Danny)
Al, that little scuffle
in the men's room

was all just a put-on.

It was a joke.

We apologize
if we inadvertently upset you.

Well, what you call an
"inadvertent put-on,"

my client calls
a traumac event

with long-lasting effects.

I'd hardly call it traumatic.

No wonder why
people hate lawyers.

Look, I do not throw employees
against the wall.

You have nothing
to worry about.

Now you do believe me,
don't you, AL?

Yes.

Don't answer that.

Do me a favor.
We're trying to settle this.

Are you good with that?

Al, don't answer that.

Is this lawsuit your idea or--

Objection, irrelevant.

This isn't a courtroom,
counselor.

See, it's lucky for, Al.

My hatred for your lawyer
has clouded my thinking.

It wasn't my idea, Mr. Deline.

Look, we're all
reasonable people here.

He isn't.

What do you say $10,000
for pain and suffering?

And you would get what,
30-40% of that?

I'll tell you what,
here, Al.

You fire this guy
on the spot here right now,

I'll give you a $5,000 bonus.

You're fired!

Oh, look so happy.

Sam find her Chul Ho?

Oh, no, but I did find
an extremely fun new hobby.

Oh, just in case
you find boyfriend,

I show you in between
place finger.

Oh, no, that's okay.
I have to get this to Ed.

Just take two second.
Tomorrow.

Okay.
Feel so good though.

I feel so good.

Because I'm home?

That too.

Mainly because
I finished packing for our trip.

But we don't leave
for three days.

Well, I'm very organized.

If that's a problem--
No, that's cool.

Listen to this.

Mike just told me that
Mary's doing a stand-up routine

at the Comedy Corral
in a half an hour.

We gotta see this.
Mary?

Yeah, you believe that?
But she's not funny.

I know!

What did you do to Don?

Wished him happy birthday.
Something wrong?

I said I wanted interesting.

I didn't say
I wanted inflexible.

He's making me go
to St. Barts.

Making me do things that
I don't like.

Divorce him.

We have a prenup.
A bad one.

Bad prenup.

In case you're interested,
Mary is doing stand-up tonight

at the Comedy Corral.

She's not funny.

Our next comedian is making
her second appearance here...

at the Comedy Corral.

Please put your hands together
for Mary Connell.

Does anybody here have a boss
who doesn't have a clue?

'Cause I know I do.

I mean this guy...

is unbelievable.