Las Vegas (2003–2008): Season 3, Episode 15 - Urban Legend - full transcript

Damn!

Whoo! That was fun.

You sure you've never driven
a race car before?
No. First time.

I have a lot of pent-up aggression.

You didn't come all the way
from Vegas just to take a few laps.

No. No, I didn't.
The Montecito is hosting a car show,
and I need last year's Las Vegas winner,

one Mr. Jimmie Johnson,
to be the judge.

Sorry, Mary,
but like I told you on the phone,
I've got to get ready for Daytona.

Please? I brought the jet.

Think the pilots will let me fly?
I think I can arrange it.

Over 2,000 custom cars entered
and mine graces
the entrance to the show.



This little baby right here.
What do you know
about cars, Delinda?

You mean, besides that they're
a great place to make out?
This is not your car.

Hello! Daddy wanted a boy, remember?
I've been in auto mechanic classes
since the seventh grade.

There's a lot about me
you don't know, Danny McCoy.

You should see
what I can do with a knife.

Total off-frame re-modification,
top to bottom.

Okay, now you're just messing with me.
This is not yours.

How many people do you know
named Delinda Deline?

She's got a 2.0-liter LSJ engine
with performance kit,

77.9 millimeter supercharger pulley
and matched belt,

5.3 G/S injectors,
Cat Back exhaust system.

Even mounted my iPod.

- Uh-huh.
- Wireless connection to the speakers.

Danny McCoy.
Go to room number 2714
now or someone will die.



I don't understand why you can't
deal with this guy yourself.

Because I've finally gotten the biggest
whale in J.W. McKeller's black book
to the Montecito.

Look at this.
He's got five out of five possible stars.

There's no other whale in
the black book who rates this high.

This guy's a recluse. He's super secretive.
He doesn't want anyone to know
who he is or that he's here.

That's really an interesting story, but it
still doesn't explain what I'm doing here.
He'll only deal with you.

Excuse me?
He'll only deal with you, and I promised
him you would take care of him.

You promised him what, Sam?
What is the big deal?

Steve Wynn takes care of all the big boys.
I mean, what's the problem?
Steve Wynn-

Listen, you know, you're the man.
You are the face of Montecito, so-
I'd rather you not go there.

Okay. Fine. If you want
the Montecito to compete globally,
you're gonna have to start helping me out.

The top five percent of players worldwide
won't even show up unless you're there
to greet them and oversee their stay.

This guy could change
our bottom line in one weekend.

Okay. Okay. Okay.
If you're not interested-

Okay, now, while I'm acting
as casino host, exactly what is it
that you're gonna be doing?

Supervising.
Supervising?

What's the emergency?
Oh, Hey, listen, I have this asterisk
next to my whale with a note.

- Palmar hyperhidrosis. What's that?
- That's the emergency?

I don't have time
to look this stuff up.

Mike Cannon.
Hey, Mike. We may have a situation.

- Meet me at Room 2714, ASAP.
- Okay.

Palmar hyperhidrosis means
sweaty palms affliction.
No.

Ed Deline.
Welcome to the Montecito.

Here you go.

Hotel security!

Hello! Anybody in there?

Security! I'm coming in!

Yo! Anybody in here?

What's up?
Oh, not another bachelor party prank.
What's this, the urban legend joke?

No joke. Here, help me get him.
Come on. Get him up.

Whoa.

Please don't tell me
he's missing a kidney.

Male victim,
approximately 30 years of age.

The fresh incision and I.V. marks
are obvious indicators of surgery.

We got to do an ultrasound
to be positive, but it looks as if
somebody cut his kidney out.

- Don't you need to be in a hospital
to do surgery like that?
- Not if all you care about is the kidney.

Obviously, uh, Garrison,
the Montecito is state-of-the-art.

And believe me, I understand your need
for instantaneous data access.

So you have your own personal,

high-speed, WiFi Internet connection
throughout the suite.

Your password's protected, of course.
There's flat screens in every room.

You have digital cable, satellite.

Basically, if there's anything
you don't see, ask and you shall receive.

- Excuse me. Would you mind terribly
not touching everything?
- Ed.

- Well, I'm sorry, but-
- You noticed my hands.

Of course I noticed your hands.
They're dripping.

Do you have any idea what
palmar hyperhidrosis is like to live with?

- Sweaty?
- Oh, you think that's funny?

Ed doesn't think that's funny, actually.
Why don't you just try
wearing some gloves?

Don't you think I've tried that?
I've tried everything.

- Well, how about, you know, like,
a special deodorant for your hands?
- Ed!

- J.W. McKeller never would
have treated me like this. Never!
- Garrison. No, Garrison.

Did he just lock himself
in the bathroom? What?

The guy-The guy is sweating
all over my damn suite.

No way this could happen, Danny.

Well, it did.
Kidney removal in a hotel room is, like,
the number one urban legend in Las Vegas.

Everybody knows the story.
Guy meets a hot babe playing blackjack.

They have a few drinks,
go up to a room.

Next thing you know,
he's waking up in a bathtub
full of ice with "Call 911" written-

With a kidney missing. I know the story.
Exactly. But do you know
the genesis of the legend?

No.
It started in 1991 and supposedly
happened simultaneously in several cities...

including New York, New Orleans,
Houston and Las Vegas.

So what's your point?
It's an urban legend,
that's my point.

So?
There's also a college
student version-

We're not talking about 1991, Mike.
Urban legend or not, the guy had
a kidney cut out in one of our rooms...

right under our noses.
Security!

Security!

- Thank you very much.
- How are you? Absolutely.

- How's it goin'?
- Excuse me. Excuse me.

Excuse me. Excuse me.
I know him.

Jimmie Johnson.
Delinda.

I haven't seen you since
your big win here in Vegas
last year.

- You know Delinda?
- Yeah. Uh, she freaked out
some of my crew guys,

and they wanted to get
a restraining order against her.

Were you stalking him?
I wouldn't exactly call it...
stalking.

Well, I had no idea
you were such a big race fan.

Fanatic. So, uh,
you here to judge the car show?
Yes, I am.

I got a car entered.
Why does that not surprise me?

2005 Chevy Cobalt SS.
Wow.

Come on.
Come take a look.
That girl scares me.

Yeah. That girl scares
a lot of people.
Jimmie! Jimmie!

All right,
there he is playing blackjack.
Mm-hmm.

Here comes a hot babe.

A couple drinks. Now it's on.

Just like the urban legend.

Urban legends.
Have you guys heard
the, uh, toothbrush one?

It's a classic. Family goes on vacation.
Their hotel room gets broken into,
but nothing gets stolen,

although they notice that their camera
and their toothbrushes
have been moved.

No crime, no foul, right?
So they get back, get the film
developed from their vacation,

only to discover that the people
who broke into their hotel room...

took their toothbrushes
and shoved them up their asses
and took pictures of the event.

- Have you guys seen Ed?
- Mmm.

Total top to bottom
off-frame re-modification.

You ever done one?
Yeah. Yes, I have.

Of course you have. Go ahead.
Check under the hood.

You did all of this work yourself?

Yeah. Even machined the cylinder heads.
Want to hear her run?
Yeah.

Come on, sweetie, you know
that you can't just start this car
in the middle of the casino, Delinda.

That's- Delinda.

Delinda! Ohh!

Your messages,
Mr. Deline.
Thank you.

What are you doing in my office?

I just thought I'd stop by
and teach you how to
deal with whales,

because obviously, you're...

- not so good at it.
- Well, thank you. I think
I know how to handle people.

Well, that's your first mistake.
They're not people, they're whales.

They expect to be pampered.
to be treated above and beyond.

They expect their wildest dreams
and fantasies to be fulfilled.
They're babies.

You and I basically know that all
rich and famous people are babies.

And actors are the worst.
They expect everything for free.
Everything's me, me, me, I, I, I.

You'd think they were
the only people on the planet.
Okay, then, Sam-

But I digress.
That is why I have gone to
the trouble to fill your closet, Ed,

with the whale gifts.
What's the whale gifts?

- What happened to my clothes?
- Every president in Vegas
has gifts, wrapped,

ready to pass out to all the high profile
people who come through.

Where are my golf clubs?
I had housekeeping
take care of everything.

Now, this is how it works.
You want me to grab you a pen?
You might want to take some notes.

No. No pen.
Some of the whales
like to get their gifts up front...

and some of them like to
get them during their stay...

and some of them like to receive
their gifts at the end of their stay.

Now Chinese are insulted by clocks.
They don't like knives,
they don't like things in pairs.

Now Americans may or may not be
offended by furs, crocodile skins,
et cetera.

Europeans, not so much.

Watches are always a safe bet.
So I have stocked the right side
of your closet with watches.

Male watches
are on the top three shelves.

Female watches are on the bottom
three shelves. Mm-hmm.

- Hey, listen-
- Now, here's another thing.
You want to always make sure...

that you give a present to the wife
or the girlfriend or, you know, both.
Right.

Who wrapped all these things?
I have a service do that.

Oh, nice. Nice.
Nice. The gift wrapping alone
is over a hundred bucks a pop.

$100 for wrapping?
Yeah.

It's paper.
It's pretty paper.

Now let's review.
Top three shelves are male watches.

Bottom three shelves,
female watches.
Mm-hmm.

Did you buy all these things?
No, the service does that.

Well, then, how would one know
what's inside the box?

Well, that is where
my system comes in.
System?

Yeah.
It's all on a spreadsheet. Trust me,
this is gonna become your best friend.

No. At this point, I'd rather be
in the surveillance room.

Room 2714 was rented out
to a woman named Sheri Hayes.
So we got a name.

Actually, we don't. Sheri Hayes
was a victim of identity theft...

and her credit card number
was sold to thousands worldwide.

The real Sheri Hayes is a 70-year-old
grandmother living in Ohio.

She spent over an hour
filling that bathtub with ice.
How could we not catch that?

The front desk said
she specifically asked for
a room next to the ice machine.

Check this out.
There's a four-hour gap...

between the last time
she went to the ice machine
and when she exited the room.

Which would give her enough time
to remove a kidney.

- Looks like his kidney is in that suitcase.
- There are five levels of high roller.

Why five?
Because it's my system.

Why wouldn't it be three?
That's how I decided to do it.

I think it should be three.
Three is simpler.
Well, there are five. There are five.

- Okay.
- Now because I want things
to be easy for you,

I've made the top shelf
the highest level of play.

So the bottom shelf
would be for the lowest.

Correct.
See, I got it, Sam. Definitely.

- You think so?
- I do. Yes.

Okay.
Okay.

So, what level of player
would receive this gift?

- Let me think.
Third shelf, middle level.
- Wrong.

- How could it be wrong?
You took it off the third shelf.
- I mixed them up.

- Why would you do that?
- Because I have a fail-safe.

Now if you turn this gift over,
you will find my color-coded system.
See this little removable blue dot?

Yeah?
This represents the second
highest level of player.

- Blue?
- Yes. Yellow, pink, green, blue, red.
Lowest to the highest in that order.

I see.
Yellow, blue, pink.

Now, about these watches?

You have three shelves
of men's watches,

and then you have three
shelves of women's watches.

- And yet, there are five levels of players.
- Watches are different.

What do you mean, watches are different?
Why are watches different?

They're just different!
We got a problem.

Yeah. You're not kidding.
Ed's busy.

- No, I'm not any longer.
- What are you talking about?
We have to review this.

God forbid you should give
the wrong gift to the wrong whale.
Mike- Mike will help you out with the dots.

I don't want Mike to help me out
with the dots.

I don't even want to know.

Garrison. Hi.
You ready to play?
Yes. No problem.

Organ harvesting is something
they do in Chinese prisons,
not in Las Vegas hotels.

Are you sure about this?
Just like the legend.

How's this guy doing?
I've been in touch with the hospital
since he was admitted.

They said he's gonna make it.
Well, we better go see him.

Car's out front.
Oh, what about the girl?

We can't VideoIQ her,
so I flooded the town
with her picture.

All right. And, uh,
where are the cops on this?

At this point,
they're not even sure it's a crime.

I had the room sealed off, anyway.

Look at his hands.
He's sweating everywhere.

Look, his cards are wet.
Yeah. He sweats a little bit.

A little bit? He's like
Albert Brooks in Broadcast News.
He's dripping all over the table.

- Oh, you're Mr. Perfect now?
- I'm not dripping sweat
all over the blackjack table.

You want to work with me here?
This is important to me.

You got to drive
Jimmie's race car?
After a few lessons, yeah.

You slept with him, didn't you?
I didn't sleep with him.
He's happily married.

This is the "whole
new Mary" thing, isn't it?

He asked me if I wanted to go
for a ride with him.

You got to ride with Jimmie?
Mm-hmm.

- Sam, he's scaring
the other guests away.
- Mike, it's a little sweat.

This is all on you, baby.
Mike. Mike.

Yuck.

Whoever did the surgery
did a hell of a job.

The person has obviously done
this sort of thing before.
Why do you say that?

Incision was perfect.
So was the removal.

Only a pro could have
pulled this off.
A pro, huh?

Danny?
Listen, I want-

Kimmie? Little Kimmie Wells.

It's Dr. Kimberly Wells now.
I'm a resident.

Wow. You grew up.
Yeah, so did you.

Yeah.
You should call me sometime.

I will. I will.

Doc, um, if you don't mind,
we'd like a word with Mr. Stuart.

He should be awake.
What?

Can you remember anything?

Not much, except I'm pretty sure
I didn't get laid.

- Do you remember her name
or anything about her?
- Said her name was Sheri.

- Anything else?
- Only that I walked into the Montecito
with two kidneys, and now I have one.

Mr. Stuart, uh,
we don't want you to worry
about any expenses.

- The Montecito will pay all
your hospital bills, anything else.
- That's nice,

considering someone cut me open
and removed one of my kidneys
in your hotel.

Contrary to your popular slogan,

"What happens in Vegas,
stays in Vegas,"

everybody in the world
is gonna hear about this.

I'm gonna sue you and the Montecito
for every cent you are worth.

The insurance company and our
outside counsel agree that we need
to settle this quickly and quietly.

- Sooner the better.
- Wait a second.

Just hang on one second here, Kathy.
We're still trying to figure out
exactly what happened.

- Doesn't matter what happened.
- What do you mean, it doesn't
matter what happened?

All that matters is the Montecito
has a major P.R. problem on its hands.

Where's our guilt?
This guy wasn't even a guest
of the hotel, you understand that?

A man had his kidney removed against
his will in one of your guest rooms.

How do you think
that's gonna play in the press?

And I don't mean the Las Vegas press.
I mean the worldwide press.

If this story gets out,
it will be picked up by every major
news organization in the world.

- He's right, Ed.
- Kathy, my office will take
the lead on this.

I do have a team standing by.

But I wanted to make sure that you
knew we'd run everything through you
and your outside counsel before.

What? What's going on?

I just keep thinking about the girls.
You know, Sam, Mary, Delinda.

I mean, they're in and out of these rooms
all the time. We don't know anything
about these guests.

Ain't much you can do about it.
I shoulda caught this.

Come on.
Look, people come to this town
looking for exactly...

what this guy thought
he was gonna get, which is laid.

What are we supposed to do, I mean,
run a background check on every woman
who brings a guy to the room?

Well, how did she get my cell
phone number?

She got it because I-I believe this
was planned. I mean, right down to
the room next to the ice machine.

Now, she obviously doesn't want this
guy to die, because she calls you.

I don't know. There's something
not right about this.

I tell you what.
Just, uh, do some checking around.

But please, just keep it quiet.

We don't need this getting around.

Now that's a hell of a convention center.
Largest in Vegas.

Now, tell me, how is this gonna work?
The guests have been voting
on their favorite cars all week.

The polls close at midnight tonight.
The top 10 will be the finalists,
and you pick the winner tomorrow.

Simple as that.
Okay. All right. Now, tell me.

Do you think Delinda's car
has a chance of being a finalist?
Oh. Yeah, I'd say the chances are good.

Ms. Marquez.

He's sweating all over the cards.

Just keep changing decks.

I'm not sure we have
enough decks in stock for that.

Okay. Thank you.

Anything from the airport
surveillance teams?

If she left Vegas,
it wasn't by plane.

Even on ice,
a kidney won't last that long.
It's only a four-hour drive to L.A.

She could have caught a plane from there.
This woman could be anywhere
in the world by now.

Wouldn't she need some kind of special
equipment in the room with her?
Anesthesia machine?

A portable one only weighs
about 27 pounds.

So... everything she needed
could have been in that suitcase.
Yep.

What do we know
about the victim?

Uh, stand-up guy.

He lives in L.A.,
works as a waiter.

Fronts a struggling rock band
that just got signed to a major label.

What if it wasn't random?

You think he was set up?

I don't know. Maybe.

Let's put his photo out around town.
Maybe somebody saw him
before he came to the Montecito.

Ya-hoo!

Hi.

Why is everyone
fleeing the table?
My whale has sweaty hands.

What?
Palmar hyperhidrosis.

Sounds serious.

Apparently, it afflicts millions.
Hey, by the way, listen.

Montecito jets are for whales, not some
Indy driver you have judging a car show.

NASCAR driver.
Big difference in the two sports.

I'd hardly call a guy who drives around
in circles for a living an athlete.
It's harder than it looks.

You wanna know how much money he
made last year driving around in circles?
No.

Not the least bit curious?
Not one bit.

Fine. Have fun
with your sweaty whale.

All right, I'm curious.

Thank you. We got a hit.
Carson was at a strip club off Flamingo
all night long, five nights ago.

And that was him?

That's him, but that's
not the girl he was with.

Are you sure about that?
Oh, yeah. The two of them
got lap dances all night long.

Spent a couple of grand, at least.
She was drinking champagne
by the bottle.

What about him?
Bottled water.

I told you not to touch the girls.
Do it again, and I'll break your arm.

Bitch.

- You should talk to Debi and Dana.
- Who are they?

The Double-D Dames.
They were the ones giving the lap dances.

- They're here tonight?
- Oh, they're here every night.
Champagne room.

Hey, uh, if you ever
want a change of scenery,
give me a call over at the Montecito.

- It's Danny McCoy.
- I just might.

Okay.

He's so cute.

Can you show me
where Dana and Debi are?
Over there.

We'll see you next time.
Remember to ask for
the Double-D Dames.

You got it, girls.

Uh, excuse me, ladies.
The bartender said that you might
be able to help me with this.

Oh, I remember him.
Yeah?

Yeah, but that's not the girl
he came in here with.

You're sure?
Yeah.

We get a lot of couples that come
in for lap dances, and the two that
were here were definitely a couple.

Can you remember
anything about them?

Besides that they bought lap dances
from us all night long?

Yeah. Yeah, besides that.
Well, the girl was cute.

She had short, blonde hair.
She was really drunk.
Remember?

She kept talking about
how rich they were gonna be.

Like, they were gonna hit
megabucks that evening.

- Anything else?
- Yeah. The guy just had a blood test.

- A blood test? How do you know that?
- Because he had a Band-Aid
with the cotton right under here.

Uh, you don't happened to remember
what the guy was drinking?

Yeah. The girl made a point of only
letting him drink bottled water.

- She wouldn't even let him
have a sip of champagne.
- Yeah.

Blood test is used for blood type testing,
H.L.A. tissue test and cross-match.
All needed before a kidney transplant.

So you'd have a blood test if you were
donating one of your own kidneys too?
Absolutely.

A final cross-match blood test
is performed 48 hours
before the transplant.

And if you were a living donor,
you'd want to avoid contamination
during those 48 hours,

like drinking champagne?

Absolutely. Best thing you can do
before donating is drink lots of water.
Help flush out the system.

- What do you want?
- Just checking to see
if you need anything.

You mean besides my kidney back?

Who was that woman that
was with you at the strip club
the other night?

- Just somebody I met.
- You don't remember her name?

No. Man, it's late.
I'm tired.

Right. Sorry to bother you.
Have a good night.

Oh, and, uh, uh, uh,
the blood test-

- What was that about?
- What are you talking about?

One of the strippers told me
that you had a Band-Aid...

with a cotton ball underneath it
right here on your arm.

I don't know what she's talking about.

So she's lying?

She's a stripper, dude.
Of course she's lying.

Good table, man.
I'm telling you.

What's up with those hands?

You're supposed to be
watching Garrison.

I just cannot get past
the sweaty palm thing.

I don't understand this.
You've been around much worse
than this. What's the big deal?

I know. I don't get it.
Look, uh, remember, like,
seven years ago, okay?

Um, the Emir of "Katoon" or whatever.

Right.
He comes with his whole entourage.
They take three big suites upstairs.

You know what they do
in the middle room?

Uh, I don't know. Karaoke?

No, no. They actually cook all
their meals in the middle of that floor.
Mmm.

I mean, it got to the point
where it was such a mess,

I had to get rid of the drapes,
the carpet, the furniture.

I had to repaint the whole joint.
Do you know what
three-day-old goat smells like?

Is there a point to this story?
Yes. Yes, there is a point.

The point is that this guy spent
so much money, it didn't bother me.

I-I didn't care what he did.
You know, it didn't matter.

But this is really bothering you.
Well, apparently, it does, yeah.

What's that?

Towels.
Are those monogrammed towels?

They're not only monogrammed towels,

these towels are made
from the finest Egyptian cotton.

It's interwoven with the wool...

from the soft underbelly
of the Andean Ilama.

But you're not giving them to Garrison.

I just wanted to get him something.
I feel bad. I really do.

You can't give those
to Garrison.
Why not?

Let me ask you a question.
How would you feel if I came up to you...

and offered you one of those little
teeny, tiny, extra-small condoms?

I'd feel like you didn't
know me very well.

Well, it was just an example.
But it does illustrate my point,

which is you cannot
give Garrison something
that points out his shortcomings.

He's a man.

So the towels are a bad idea?
The towels are a pretty horrible idea.

They look nice, though.
Can I see one?
Yeah.

Wow!

It's amazing.
Where'd you get these?
Um, I called your service.

What am I looking for?

I'm pretty sure the brunette's
wearing a disguise.

All right, looks like she's wearing a wig,
colored contact lenses.

She's got fake boobs.
You VideoIQ'ed her boobs?

Thermal imaging shows
her breasts are cold as ice,

which means she's wearing fake ones,
probably built into her bra.

What's going on, Danny?

In order to preserve a kidney,
you would have to put it on ice, right?

And thermal imaging
would pick up the cold.

Then why isn't it?

The Chevy Custom Car Show
finalists are-

Allen Easton, John Newby,
Delinda Deline-

- I'm a finalist. Uhh!
- I'm thrilled.

Isn't this exciting? Ohh!
Not really.

I gotta find Jimmie.
Oh, hey, uh,

speaking of which,
how much did Jimmie earn last year?

Just races or counting endorsements,
sponsorships and personal appearances?

Let's count everything.

Ed, everyone is complaining
about the sweaty-hand whale.

Dealers are quitting.
Guests are checking out.

The Health Department threatened
to shut down the buffet because
he keeps dripping sweat into it.

Wolfgang Puck has banned him
from his restaurant. It's getting ugly.

- Where is he?
- Uh, blackjack 21.

- Where's Sam?
- I don't know.

You go find her,
tell her I want to talk to her.
I'll deal with him.

What if there never was a kidney?
What are you talking about?
The doctor said it was removed.

But what if it wasn't
removed at the Montecito?

What if-What if he sold it
or gave it away the day before,

then decided to make some money
by using this whole urban legend story.

Knowing the Montecito
would settle quickly and quietly.
Exactly.

Damn, damn. Damn, that is some plot.
The guy must have been in some pain.

Well, not if he were drugged up.

What we thought
was anesthesia was-
Pain killers.

Nice!
Up shoot.

Hey, Jimmie.
Hey.

You know,
my car's one of the finalists.

I never would have guessed.

Maybe you want to take me
for a ride some time.

Sorry, Jimmie.
Come on. Come on.
I was just talking.

Yeah, I bet you were.
So hot.

Hi, Jimmie.
Hello.

Listen, I could set you up with a line
of credit, get you a private table.

In fact, there are a lot of things-
I'm sorry, Jimmie. Come on.

I suddenly don't like this
"whole new Mary" thing you got going on.
Oh, shut up.

So, is it like this in here all the time?

With those three?
Yeah, pretty much.
Yeah.

Five!
Yeah!

Ed!
Yeah?

They're scamming us.
How exactly would they be doing that?

I think they either sold the kidney
or gave it away before he got to
the Montecito.

You got some proof of that?
No. Nothing that will hold up in court.

Well, I guess you better
go find the kidney.

Where the hell am I gonna
find a kidney, on eBay?

Well, if someone sold one,
someone had to buy it, right?

Just go.

This is just too gross.
I know. Come on. Let's go.

Here she is, boss.

- Sam.
- Yeah?

Get rid of this guy.

Okay, Ed-
Tonight.

I told you to get rid of him
last night.

He's been playing 200 grand an hour.
You can't get rid of him.

No? Watch me.

Ed. Sam. Come in.

Come in. Can I, uh-
Can I get you anything?

Uh, coffee? Tea? Water?
Whatever?

- Garrison, listen.
- Oh, my God. You're-

- You're kicking me out, aren't you?
- Well, we have gotten a lot of complaints.

Yeah.

- You know how many hotels
I've been asked to leave?
- No.

- Too many to count.
- Well-

You know how I made my fortune?

No.
Internet.

Hiding from people.

The only job you can have where
you don't have to interact with people.

You know, my hands don't sweat
when I'm not with people.

Well, I-I didn't know that.

I have tried every remedy.
Botox, surgery. Nothing works.

I'm sorry. I do have other guests
to consider, you know?

I can't even find a date.
Women find me disgusting.

They're grossed out by a guy
who's sweating all the time.

I'm just really sorry, man. I-

Yeah, well, Las Vegas
was the only place where
I wasn't treated like a freak...

till now.

Um, you know?
I-I think I have an idea.

- Good morning, Jimmie.
- Morning.

How'd you sleep?
Great, thanks.

Any problems with the suite?
No, the suite was great.

But somebody slid something
under my door last night.

What is it?
It's- It's a bribery note.

Someone's offering me some pretty
explicit services if I pick their car
in the car show today.

Oh.

Oh, my.
Yeah. That was my reaction too.

Delinda.

I didn't write the note.
Sure, you didn't.

I didn't.
You're telling me
you didn't write this?

Sounds like fun.
Fun? I don't think
it's physically possible.

Oh, yeah, it's possible.

Really?
Yeah.

Wow!
Sure you didn't write this?

I really didn't write it.
I've done it a few times,
but I didn't write it.

If I were you, I'd check with
one of the other finalists.

Mary.
No. Oh, no, no, no.
I-I didn't write this.

You're taking this
"new Mary" thing a little too far.

Delinda and Sam I can see,
but you, Mary. Shame, shame, shame.

I can get into a lot of
trouble for this, Danny.
I promise that I'll make it up to you.

You better.
I will.

Three kidney transplants in Vegas
in the last 72 hours.

Well, that's interesting.
What?

Somebody jumped
the transplant list.
What do you mean, jumped?

- Well, they weren't next in line
and somehow they got a kidney.
- Does that happen a lot?

No. But it was a private hospital.

Can I have the name of the recipient?
Danny.

Please. Please.

Kelly Stone.

The rock star, Kelly Stone?

Well, thank goodness you're
finally acting like a real casino host.

Well, I'm not really.
'Cause if I were, I'd be out there
seeing if my client needed something.

I know you're not
suggesting that I go out there,
'cause that's not gonna happen.

The man looks like he might want
to sign another marker.

I don't have my bathing suit, so-
Well, do what you gotta do, right?

Yeah, I always do.
How's this?

Well, it looks like Carson
sold his kidney for a recording deal...

and then tried to make an even
bigger score by suing the Montecito.
You sure?

Well, I'm pretty sure. Look.
There were three kidney transplants
in Vegas in the last 72 hours.

It turns out one of those three not
only jumped the transplant list,

but got a kidney that didn't go
through the national registry-
Kelly Stone.

The rock star, Kelly Stone?
That's right.

Isn't that guy in rehab?
If you consider a kidney
replacement a rehab, yeah.

That's making some sense, now.
And all the blood tests,
all the tissue tests match.

Oh, and look at this.
Carson's band just signed
with Kelly Stone's record label...

- for a lot of money.
- That's it, isn't it?

Whoa! Blackjack!
Whoo!

The problem is
we can't actually prove it.

The problem is
we can't actually prove anything.

The proof is right in front of you.
The guy sold his kidney for a record deal.

Won't hold up in a court of law, Danny.
And no one's going to let us cut open
some rock star so we can compare kidneys.

Just give Carson the money
and make it go away.

- I'm afraid I have to agree.
- We're ready to cut him a check today.

We can't settle.
I hate feeling like a sucker.

To mount any kind of a defense at all
will cost us tens of millions of dollars...

which we will not have to pay
if we can settle this for far less.

Ed, not only will the Montecito be sued,
but you and even Danny will be
named personally.

- The guy is scamming us.
- This is purely business, Danny.
It'll cost a lot less to just make it go away.

- This is what the Montecito
has insurance for.
- But it's wrong!

- Right or wrong doesn't matter.
- Cut him a check and everyone signs
a confidentiality agreement.

What do you mean,
confidentiality agreement?

It'll be like it never happened.

We did it, baby.
I got the check.

Hey, Carson!

Remember me?
Danny McCoy, Montecito security?

You look better as a brunette.

I'd like you to meet
a few of my friends.

You have the right to remain silent.

I can't believe you picked her.
Believe it or not,
she actually had the coolest car.

Yeah. Who's your daddy, now?
Apparently, you are.

Mm-hmm. How about
a winner's kiss?
Seriously.

Fine. Be that way.
I gotta find Danny.

Come on.
Let's fly you back to Atlanta.

You don't have to
fly back with me.
Oh, please, it's no problem.

You wanna drive
the race car again.
Pretty much, yeah.

All right. Let's go.
Okay.

Wow. I can't believe you got him
to use the lobby entrance.
Well, it doesn't bother him anymore.

Thanks for everything, Ed.
You betcha. Pleasure.

Gotcha!
Yeah, you sure did.

Hey, listen, um,

I just got you guys
a little something.
Uh-uh.

Oh, thank you.
Just-

There you go.
Right. Anyway, uh,
we'll see you soon, huh?

Might be, uh, sooner than you think.
We're, uh-We're thinking about
getting married.

Oh, really? Great.
Oh. Wow.

She doesn't, uh, care
about my sweaty hands.
Oh, good.

Listen, just, you know, a suggestion.

If you get married, uh,
have the wedding in a pool.

Absolutely. Absolutely.
Thank you.

Good luck to you guys, okay?
Yep.

I may just make you
a casino host yet.

Ah, don't put a whole lot of money on that.
Come on. I'll buy you a drink.

Now that girl's got
a lot of pent-up aggression.

Ow.