Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County (2004–2006): Season 2, Episode 13 - Boys Are Like Purses - full transcript

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[gentle music playing]

[Jen] We haven't had, like,
a party with, like,

-everyone who's back yet.
-[Lauren] Yeah, I know.

But like-- I feel like just to,
like, kick off the summer,

we should have, like, everyone here.

That'd be such a good idea,
just, like, see everyone.

Do you want to do barbecue,
like, cook food?

[Jen] That'd be so fun!
Who do you want to invite?

Well, we'll invite obvious people
in our grade

that we haven't seen.
We'll just get everyone here,

and then we'll invite a few
of the mellow seniors,



like Morgan and Taylor and Alex.
Oh, and Casey, who I love.

[chuckles]

I know you love her. I know you love her.

What about younger boys?
Oh, what about Jason?

-Jason can come.
-Jason can come?

-[Lauren] Yeah.
-[Jen] We're having a party!

Hey Lauren,
what comes before Part B?

Part A? [laughs]

["Come Clean" playing]

♪ 'Cause perfect ♪

♪ Didn't feel so perfect ♪

♪ Trying to fit a square
Into a circle was no life ♪

♪ I defy ♪

♪ Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams ♪



♪ Let it wash away my sanity ♪

♪ Because I want to feel the thunder
I want to scream ♪

♪ Let the rain fall down ♪

♪ I'm coming clean ♪

♪ I'm coming clean ♪

[theme music concludes]

["After the Rush" playing]

♪ After my story ♪

♪ After the rush ♪

♪ After the rush, I see you stood by me ♪

[Dieter] Oh, so small!

[music fades]

Can't believe it's summer.

This summer I actually want
to chill, relax, no worries.

How was it when Lauren
and Kristin came to your place?

It was fine. It was chill, like--

I laughed so hard when I heard.
I was like… [chuckles] "Stephen."

Yeah, it wasn't even like that.

It was just, I don't know,
it was a little weird

with Kristin, but we've settled down.

Now, maybe-- Me and Lauren--
Just me and Lauren, we're really good.

Are you going to chill
with her this summer?

Oh, yeah. Totally.

I'm actually really
looking forward to the summer.

-Yeah.
-[Stephen] It should be interesting.

[chuckles] Barbecue tonight.

[Dieter] I've been looking forward
to having barbecue at Lauren's house

like, all of us chilling by her pool,
because it's, like, so perfect.

[Stephen] Oh, so nice.

[upbeat music playing]

-[woman] I-- I really like these.
-Yeah, they look like they fit cute.

[woman] They fit really cute.

-[Talan] Hey, hey. What's up?
-Talan!

-How are you doing?
-[Lauren] Good. How are you?

I'm good. What's happening?

-[chuckles] What you doing?
-Ah, just shopping.

-[Lauren] Oh, really?
-Yeah.

How are the girls treating you, bud?

I'm, like… [scoffs]
I'm, like, so sick of everything.

So, what?

[Talan] Sick of everything.
I'm just like--

-I'm sorry.
-[Talan] No worries.

That's enough about me.
What's up with you?

[chuckles]

What's up with you and Stephen?
You guys getting your thing on?

-Oh--
-No, we're just buds.

-Buds?
-Buddies.

-Buds.
-We're, like, good.

You just-- Well, you've always been good.

We're good. We don't have
any problems. No fighting.

-[Talan] You never had problems.
-Yeah, we did. We had a big problem.

-What?
-Kristin. [chuckles]

[Talan] Yeah, she's just stupid.

[Lauren] Hey, I'm having a barbecue
this afternoon, if you want to come.

-Oh, that would be sick.
-Okay.

I've got to go,
because I've got to go shopping.

[gentle music playing]

[chuckles]

[Alex H] I have to go on this side
'cause the door doesn't work.

-Hey! [chuckles]
-[chuckles]

-[Alex H coughs]
-[Kristin] All right.

-[car beeps]
-I'm not complaining.

[engine sputtering]

[sighs]

-Is it not starting?
-[Kristin] No.

-Are you serious?
-Mm-hmm.

-[engine sputtering]
-Oh my God!

[Jessica] Okay, wait, like, five seconds,

-let it, like, be calm.
-And press on the brake when you turn it.

-[Jessica] Try it one more time.
-All right.

-[car engine sputtering]
-[scoffs] Oh, my God!

Wasn't it your oil last time?
Did you get your oil changed?

Yeah. Trust me, I learned my lesson, okay?

-[all chuckle]
-Shut up!

-[Alex H] All righty.
-I'll drive. I have-- Yeah.

-[Alex H] That sucks, yeah.
-I need a new car so bad.

I think maybe now your dad will be, like,
"Hmm, maybe she does need a car."

I'm gonna go, "Dad, guess what?
My car won't even start,

so you know what?
I do need a new car, or something."

That's really funny. Oh, well.

[Kristin] "Oh, well!" I'm so sick
of that piece of [bleep] car!

-[Jessica] You can finally get--
-[Kristin] It's been three years.

You would think after it doesn't turn on,
I would get a new [bleep] car. God!

-[girls laugh]
-[soft rock music playing]

-[Stephen] Yo! Yo!
-[Lauren] Hello!

-The cooks!
-Barbecuing!

-[Lauren] Hey, guys.
-Hey! [chuckles]

-[Jen] Hey!
-What's up?

-[Stephen] What's up?
-[chuckles] Cool, hi.

-[Stephen] Hello!
-Food! Did you guys get steaks?

-[Stephen] Yeah!
-No.

-What's cookin', good lookin'?
-[Dieter] It's a nice day.

I'm so amped to jump in your pool.

[Jen] This is, like, food for, like, 100.

[Lauren] I only invited, like,
fifteen people.

-Let's go swim.
-Right now?

[Dieter] Yeah, before, like,
we have to cook, and, like,

let's just go swim before people get here.

Okay, let me grab another bowl,
I'll be down there in a sec.

-[Stephen] Ooh!
-[Lauren] What?

Put one of these in my mouth!
What are they?

They're, like, little brownies. Want it?

[grunts]

Stop!

["Hello California" playing]

[Dieter screams]

[Lauren] That was sorta mean!

♪ We're at the end of it all
California, here I come ♪

-[laughs]
-[Lauren] Knock it off. No more.

Someone got wet,
and they didn't want to.

♪ Go California, rock me ♪

-[Dieter] Hey!
-Hi!

-[Lauren] How are you?
-[laughs]

[Lauren] Mm, yum!
Can you put double cheese on mine?

Stephen, these are good burgers.

-[chuckles]
-[Lauren] Oh, wow.

-Hi, guys.
-[Lauren] Great.

This is Dusty.

-[Lauren] Hi.
-Hey. What's up?

This is everyone. [chuckles]

Let's call some more people over.

-How are you guys doing?
-[indistinct chatter]

-Who is that?
-[Dieter] Talan.

He's being like J-Wall on me…

[Lauren] Who's J-Wall? Jason--

-[shrieks]
-[Lauren] I keep hearing that nickname.

Every time I hear someone
say it, I'm, like, who is that?

[indistinct chatter]

[Jason] Where's the party?

[crowd cheering]

-[Dieter] What up, buddy?
-I know-- I mean--

Hello. Hi. How are you doing?

-[Lauren] Bye, love!
-Bye!

Hi.

Thanks for coming back, bubba.

[Dieter] Let's go for a dipper.
Let's go in the pool.

You coming in, dog?

Yeah.

[Jen] That night? What are you doing?

-Just forming 'em.
-[Jen] You're forming them?

-[Stephen] Yes.
-[Jason] LC?

Coming.

[indistinct chatter]

[Lauren] You don't say hi to me
when you come into my house?

[Jason] Of course!

[Casey] Bye, guys. It was good seeing you.

-Bye.
-[Talan] Nice to meet you, man.

What a nice guy.

[inhales sharply] He seems like your type.

-No, because I hate muscles.
-[Talan] Tight shirts. I'm kidding.

[Lauren] Major in art college
and majored in fashion design.

And then I transferred to FIDM,
because it's less of an art school,

it's more of a business school.

[sighs] It's getting hot in here.

[guests laughing]

[Lauren] Jason, get over here.
Get over here!

You're, like, oh, for you? I was, like…

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

Seriously, though.

What's stopping you?

[chill pop music playing]

[group cheers]

We do it so much,
like it's going out of style.

-[Dieter] J-Wall!
-[indistinct chatter]

Jason…

[Jason] Of course. You look really cute.

[Lauren]

-Hey, you blew smoke in my face.
-[Jason] I didn't do that.

-Give it to me, Jason, give it to me!
-Ask-- You're--

[both chuckle]

[Jason] Okay, I'll shoo, I'll shoo,
I'll shoo. I'll shoo it like a fly.

[Lauren] Give it to me.

♪ And I want to change my mind ♪

[yelps, chuckles]

♪ Even now, will it be? ♪

♪Tell me how, show it to me ♪

-[screams]
-[Jason] Whoa.

♪ I want to make this so easy ♪

[Lauren] Give it to me, Jason,
give it to me!

♪ I wanna let it go, ooh, oh ♪

[upbeat rock music playing]

-[Kristin] It's such a nice day out.
-[Dennis] God, isn't it gorgeous?

This day has "new car day"
written all over it.

Oh, I'm so excited.

What kind of cars do the kids
have at school?

[Kristin chuckles] My friends
are pretty good with their cars, like,

their parents don't spoil
their kids that much.

But, like, other kids at my school,
everyone has a Mercedes,

Navigators, BMWs…

like, basically my Isuzu
was one of the [bleep] cars at school.

It was, like, a car
with training wheels, you know?

-[laughs] That's true.
-No, that car's been a--

-It's been a--
-It's been a trooper.

-It's been a trooper, oh, wow.
-[Kristin laughs]

I don't know, I came up
with that one myself. [chuckles]

[upbeat music playing]

-Did you have fun at LC's barbecue?
-Yeah.

-She's hot, dude.
-Yeah, she is. She's super hot.

It's weird though, with LC,
like I chilled with her once

and, like, right after,
like, we did, I was, like, dude…

-[Talan] You liked her?
-Like, I like that girl.

-[Talan] Did you hook up with her?
-Uh-uh. I want to.

-She's a keeper.
-She is a keeper.

[upbeat pop music playing]

-Oh, this looks like a good one.
-That's like exactly what I have.

-You think? [laughs]
-Is this mine?

-[Dennis] I don't know.
-Dad, is it?

[Dennis] I don't know, is your name on it?

Dad! [chuckles] Don't. Is it mine?

[Dennis] It looks similar, but I doubt it.

-Oh my God, it is mine, huh?
-[Dennis] I don't know, babe.

Dad! [chuckles] Dad, you're such a liar!

Oh my God. This is my car!

Thanks, Dad.

-[Dennis] Okay, babe, you ready?
-Yeah. Bye, I love you.

-Thank you.
-Love you too. Okay. You're welcome.

-Okay.
-Okay.

[chuckles] Oh my God. This is my car!

-Hey.
-[Kristin] Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.

I'm, like, in shock right now.
I can't believe this is my car.

Does it smell like a yummy new car?

Yeah, it's like-- Oh, my god.
It's like it's my little baby!

See, I'm excited
because I know that, like,

you're just going to drive me around,
like all the time now, so…

[chuckles] I'm gonna pick you and Jessica
up at Jess's house or whatever.

-Okay, have fun.
-[Kristin] I will.

-[Alex H] All right.
-Okay, bye.

[cheerful music playing]

[Jen] So our party was a success.

-Successful barbecue.
-Successful barbecue.

You can't look for a boyfriend.
You can't just want a boyfriend.

I know, that's my problem.
What were you saying the other day?

Same with shoes.
You can't go look for shoes.

-Yeah, they just have to come to you.
-They just have to come to you.

[Heidi] No, we were saying that
about sunglasses.

No, I think it's more
like purses, actually.

You're always going to have that one boy
you're always comfortable with,

and you'll always kind of like, right?

That's your purse that you wear
everywhere, right?

-[chuckles]
-[Lauren] Then you have that gorgeous bag

that you want everyone to see you with.

Yeah, but the gorgeous bag
is usually an [bleep].

Or costs a lot of money.
Then you have, like,

those other purses that you really like,
but you don't really want to be seen with.

-[cell phone chimes]
-Hello?

-Hey, what's up?
-Hi.

[Jason] What are you doing?

I'm laying by my pool.
What are you doing?

Nothing, just hanging out.
Playing basketball out of town right now.

What are you going
to do later on tonight?

Mm, don't know yet.

Do you possibly want
to go to dinner, around, like, 7:00?

-[gasps] I would love to.
-Hmm.

Okay, sounds good.

I'll give you a call
before I'm on my way.

-Okay.
-All right, bye.

[Jen] Someone has a smile!

-That was Jason.
-What did he say?

He asked me to go to dinner tonight.

-Oh!
-What?

That's so weird, I would never
have imagined in my life

you and Jason on a date, ever.

I haven't been on a date in so long.

[Jen] Go, you!

No, listen to me, the last date
I went on was in December.

Yeah, Lauren, you've had--

like, you've had a little thingy
with Stephen

for this whole time, like,
back and forth, back and forth.

Not even.

Do you think that Stephen would care
if you went on a date with Jason,

like, you don't think he'd care at all?

[Lauren] No. Please.

[Jen] You're over Stephen completely,
one hundred percent, or 99 percent?

A hundred and two percent.

-No way.
-[Lauren] Swear.

[pop rock music playing]

Well… good.

[upbeat rock music playing]

♪ It cracks me up to see you now ♪

[Kathy] So tell us about Jason.

I already told you about him.
We're just going to have dinner.

[Kathy] That's it? It's just dinner?

-Very casual?
-[Lauren] Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Kind of getting to know
each other? He's a nice boy?

[Lauren] Nice boy.

-Treats you right?
-[Lauren] Mm-hmm.

Opens your door?

-Boys don't open doors anymore.
-[Kathy] Yes, they do.

Would you send him down?
I'd like to talk to him.

-No!
-[parents chuckle]

-I'm gonna go sit in my room.
-[Jim] He just knocked at the door.

Yeah, oh, somebody's at the door.
I wonder who it is?

-[parents chuckle]
-[Lauren] Bye.

We're not having trouble
letting go at all.

[Jim chuckles]

[Lauren] So this is your dad's car?

[Jason] Yeah.

-[chuckles] It's so little!
-[laughs]

-Are you sure you can get in?
-How-- You just hop in.

Just step on the wheel
and then put your--

Are you sure you don't need help?

Hand?

[yelps]

-[Jason] Cannoli.
-Wait, there's not even seatbelts!

-[Jason] I know.
-Is that legal?

[engine revs]

Of course.

[chuckles]

[car horn blares]

[Jason] You okay?

[Lauren] Yeah. I mean, awesome car,
and a cute boy.

-It's so warm out today.
-It is. I'm, like, hot right now.

[chuckles]

-[child] Look at that car!
-[chuckles] "Look at that car!"

[indistinct chatter]

[Jason] Do you want to sit here, hon?

[Lauren] You got a high table.

I'm so far away from you.

I know.

[both chuckle]

Dude…

I heard the most standard stuff
about Lauren today, from Jen.

The most standard stuff about Lauren?

[Dieter] Guess what she's doing right now?

-[Stephen] What?
-She's going on a date with J-Wall.

Wait--

She's going on a date with J-Wall.

-[Stephen] Wait, wait, wait. Rewind.
-I swear.

-Who told you this?
-[Dieter] Jen.

Interesting.

It's, like, it sucks.
She's my best chick friend,

but it's, like, what the [bleep]
am I supposed to do?

She's setting herself up.
He's a player, dude, he's a player.

-Good luck.
-[Dieter laughs]

I can't see their date right now, too,

it's, like… the most odd couple.

You look really cute.

-[Lauren] What?
-You look really cute.

[softly] Thank you. Same.

[indistinct chatter]

[chuckles]

-[Jason chuckles] Wow.
-Right.

-All right.
-[Lauren] What?

-Why did you say "Wow"?
-[Jason] Because I'm with you.

Hmm.

That was the cutest thing
I've ever seen in my life.

-[Lauren] What?
-You.

-What did I do?
-[Jason] Nothing.

Is it getting late?

-[chuckles]
-[Jason] Do you want to go to the hot tub?

You ready?

Well, that was nice.

-I had a good time with you.
-[Lauren chuckles]

[Jason] Well, thank you.

[horn honks]

-[gasps]
-Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! That is not your car!

-Can you believe it?
-You look so cute in it!

Are you kidding me?
Kristin, this is your car?

[laughs] I know. I know, I know.
Sit in it. Can you believe it?

-[Jessica] Holy [bleep].
-Oh, sorry,

-Yeah, go for it.
-[Alex H] Oh, my God!

[Kristin]
Like, it still hasn't hit me yet.

This is, like, what I'm coming
to school in every day. I know!

Can you drive around?

I can't believe
you're freaking out more right now.

I know. You guys are [bleep].

[Kristin] It really hasn't hit me.

-Ooh, you have a sunroof.
-Look how big it is!

[Jessica] That's a sunroof? [gasps]

-[Alex H] Damn!
-[laughs]

-[Jessica laughs]
-[Kristin] I'm just kidding.

[all laugh]

-[Jessica] Oh my God!
-[laughs]

-Stop it! [chuckles]
-[Alex H] It's not going off!

-[Lauren] Perfect.
-[Jason] Yes.

We are home, and I do not
have to drive anymore.

[Lauren cheers]

-That was a good dinner.
-♪ Jacuzzi, jacuzzi, jacuzzi ♪

["You And Me" by Lifehouse playing]

♪ What day is it and in what month? ♪

♪ This clock never seemed so alive ♪

♪ I can't keep up ♪

What?

♪ 'Cause it's you and me
And all of the people ♪

♪ With nothing to do, nothing to lose ♪

♪ And it's you and me ♪

♪ And all of the people ♪

♪ And I don't know why ♪

♪ I can't keep my eyes off of you ♪

[Jason]

-Come on.
-Okay.

♪ What are the things that I want to say ♪

♪ Just aren't coming out right ♪

[Lauren laughs]

♪ I'm tripping on words
You got my head spinning ♪

♪ I don't know where to go from here ♪

♪ 'Cause it's you and me
And all of the people ♪

♪ With nothing to do, nothing to prove ♪

♪ And it's you and me ♪

Come on, let's go in.

♪ And I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you ♪

[theme music playing]

[theme music concludes]