Kukhnya (2012–2016): Season 1, Episode 1 - Episode #1.1 - full transcript

Max Lavrov - a talented young chef came from Voronezh to Moscow to get a job in a French luxury "Claude Monet". However, in an interview to be Max several tests. First arraignment despotic chef then ridicule and bullying staff restaurant. And the most important meeting with the art director of the restaurant Victoria, from which Max, spent the night on the eve of the morning escaped. In general, to be his in the team is not easy, so Max must show not only culinary skills.

What would you like?

Juicy veal fried steak with garlic,
rosemary and pepper

or maybe the softest salmon

with cream-mushroom
and fantastic white wine gravy

or grilled tomatoes with zucchini bits
baked to caramel crust?

Food is a passion!

Food is love!

Food is life for every human!

I'm a cook, i know what im talking about.

But its not me...

Here I am.



But its fine, in a few years
I also will be famous chef

Because celebrities
get the most beautiful girls

but till then, I have my own way

It's a little bit painful, but works 100%

Hey, you!
You can't treat a girl like this!

Does it hurt?

Not, really.

It's just I have an interview tomorrow.

And I feel that I have a broken nose.

And its my tool

What job are you trying to get?

Cook in a restaurant

I'm working in the restaurant as well.

Seriously?



Yea.

We have lots in common.

Where are you going?

Aaa, you know...I need to go.

Are you....running away?

Why do you say "running away"?
No, I'm just leaving.

Like this...

And that's it?

And what about what we had this night?

Thanks, it was fun.

Fun and nothing else?

And what else?

Seriously?

No, I don't have money.

And actually, we didn't agree with you on that.

I always knew that I would be a cook.

Not a cop, or a fireman, or a cosmonaut

And not even a president.

But a cook

So, how are you pancakes, sonny?

Parents have thought
that i would grow up and change my mind.

And I grew up
and I still didnt change my mind.

Food time is over! Everyone, leave!

And once...

Listen cook, the commander is calling you.

Destiny rewarded me for all my efforts.

Sir, Private Lavrov, as ordered!

Here is he, our hero

I... really liked your performance.

And I really liked your solianka (dish).

Bravo, out of nothing
you created almost a masterpiece.

If suddenly after your service,

you want to work in a good restaurant,
as a good cook.

You are mostly welcome,
I will be pleased.

Im serious....

The Restaurant "Claude Monet"
is the best restaurant in Moscow.

Probably the best chef of Russia
is working here.

Chef...

Chef...

Chef!!!

Be quiet...

The owner is calling you.

Owner?

Are we living in slavery?

Doesnt he have a name?! Ah?!

Slave...

Oh, again...

Yesterday "Spartak"...

How much?

100 thousand.

Wow! But why do those pigs
always have to lose before my shift?

Good morning, chef!!!

Do it medium-fried

Yes, chef

Never use this disgusting cognac.

Its ready...

Cut into smaller pieces...

Beat the meat well...

Rosmary...

Put salt in 7 minutes...

Meat will be more tender, idiot...

Dissapear!

3 minutes to be ready...

- Follow up...
- Yes, Chef!

Ainura, What time is it now? (speaking Kyrgyz)

Half past one, Chef.

- I need clean clothes.
- Alright, Chef.

Shit.

Shit!

Shit!

Shit...

Did you get wasted yesterday?

Is it so obvious?

Enjoy your meal.

- Would you like to have anything else?
- Water.

- Still or sparkling?
- LITER!!!

I will be right back.

Do you want me?

- What?!
- I asked if you want a menu.

Aaa, no thanks.

I came to see Dmitri Vladimirovich.

One year ago he invited me to work here.

- Oh, he is here...
- Dmitri Vladimirovich is very busy now.

You can wait for him here.

They missed at 91st minute.
Bunch of pigs, right?

Vitja...

Its not my business,
but you have to quit drinking.

Dima, the restaurant is full,
guests are happy, competitors are angry.

When it's other way around,
you'll fire me.

Today in the evening I invite our competitors.

If you screw it, I'll fire you.

What competitors?

From the restaurant, that will be opened
right behind our wall, under our noses.

Should I poison them?

No need to poison anyone,
Its our "friend" gonna open it.

He will get his new Chef with him.

Said, that got him from India,
that he is just amazing.

and he's gonna kill it in here.

And why not from Tajikistan?

With a Tajik, he could have had a Chef
and a repairman all in one.

- I will go, ok?
- No need to go anywhere, sit down.

Listening!

I'm on my way.

I'm back and we'll discuss everything,
how you'll surprise our guests in the evening.

Not you... you surprised already!

Dmitri Vladimirovich? Good afternoon.

We met a year ago. Do you remember me?

What do you mean " we met "?

No, of course I don't remember.

But thanks a lot, that you found time
to visit our.... modest restaurant.

- Enjoy you meal and have a good evening.
- Thanks.

Atention! Train Moscow -Voronezh
departing from the 3d track.

So how did it go?

Ahh..Everything is cool!

He gave me the job.
Said to go to the kitchen.

Its fine Max...

Then you have to go there.

...the owner of the restaurant
is not the most important person in the kitchen.

The most important is Chef to like me.

- Sorry... are you Chef by any chance?
- No, Why do you need him?

- I came for an interview.
- Here is Chef.

Chef, sorry.
It's for you, for an interview.

Ah, ok.

Lets go to talk.

- Tell me about yourself, son.
- Here is my CV.

A real cook doesn't need any CV's.

You can recognize him by his eyes,
by his hard-working hands.

I saw your potential straight away.

Welcome to our team, son.

Drink,

Smoke...

Chef, sorry.

- There's Viktor Petrovich coming.
- Aaaa...This freak again...

I will be back shortly
and you enjoy, drink, smoke.

Thanks.

Passangers from Business class,
please proceed to VIP lounge.

What the f...k is that ???!!!

Who the hell are you?

Man!!! Calm down!!!

- What are you doing here?
- I have an interview here!

What kind of interview?!!!

Job interview.
And by the way Chef has already hired me.

WHO?!!!

"Claude Monet"
Chef

Beautiful!

Sasha, did you tell Chef
that I asked for a new menu?

- I told him, but...
- Ok, I got it...

And thats it?

And what are you doing here?

Just had a chat with your Chef,
he asks me to join his team.

And I'm thinking should I go or no?

Kitchen is a bit simple I would say.

Listen...

- He will not be working here.
- Who is "he"?

This one.

Well, wait a second.I didnt get it.

Since when are you giving
commands in here?

- Senia?
- Yes.

- Who is Boss here?
- You're of course.

Interesting, in this part
of the kitchen I'm the Boss.

Interesting...And what about that part?

Ainura?

- Who is the Boss there?
- You're of course, Chef.

I am the Boss there as well.

And then I am
the only one who decides

who is working in my kitchen
and who is not.

Chicken-butt, you are hired.

You will work shifts
two on two off.

And Someone is free to go
and command waiters.

Ah, sorry...Forgot about the unique
atmosphere of our restaurant,

for the one you carry
a personal responsibility.

Stop this triumph!
Everyone, back to work, cripples!

Leva, I have a personal assignment
to you for dinner.

Have you been in India?
Why are you standing here?

Go and change.

Congratulations.

Chef, I'm ready.
What should I do?

Why not circus?

What do you mean?

Why not circus, factory,
taxi company or crematorium?

Why did you decide to be a cook,
Lavrov Maksim?

Because I am a cook.

- I'm a professional in cooking.
- What?!

Who are you?!

Professional?! Come here.

Look, this is Senia.
Obviously he is a fool,

but he can shave your legs with his knife
you won't even notice.

Look, this is Ainura.

Three years she works with us
without work permit.

And here is Lui,

Only thanks to his desserts
our restaurant earns one hundred thousand daily.

Can you do something similar?

Professional...

Even she has never slept
with anyone while working here.

Though lots were trying.

This what I understand and call professionalism.

What can you do?
Professional...

I know how to cook.

Seriously?

Attention , everyone! Attention! Be quiet!

Finally...

We got someone in this kitchen
who knows how to cook.

We've been waiting for him for 5 years
and hallelujah...

He finally came!

Here is he...
Our Savior, Chosen one!

There is work
that only you are capable of doing.

And what is this?

Its mint-marinated beef with artichokes.

- Leva, we have guests from India today.
- Yes, I know.

- Are you seriously want to offer beef to Indian?
- And whats wrong with this?

Leva, and what if someone
cooks for you Archangel Gabriel for dinner,

with artichokes, what would you say for this?

Its... profanity!

Exactly! And we have Indians today
and you serve them Holy cow for dinner.

Do you understand how it will look like?

Cripples!
I have to do everything on my own.

Get me anything, mutton or pork....

Chef, I have an idea... my specialty.

Chicken in cream sauce
with spinach and pine nuts.

When I was working in the restaurant in Voronezh,
everyone was in love with it.

Super idea.

You know what,
I think I will accept your idea,

Oh, weird stranger,
that accidentally popped up in my kitchen today.

Because your dish was hit not anywhere
but in Voronezh!

- Fedia!
- Yea?

Get here 5 more boxes of bananas.
You see, someone here has nothing to do!

Yes, Chef.

Chef, its ridiculous!
Why would anyone ever take strikers off bananas ?

To balance the Universe.

Because somewhere in Africa

Same chicken-butt as you are,
puts this strikers on.

By the way this chicken-butt
knows how to cook heavenly.

Ok,

I will give you a chance.

We have a regular,
cook a dessert for her.

- Senia!
- Im here.

- Is Eleonora Andreevna already here?
- Yes, Chef. I've just seen her.

So if you can satisfy Eleonora Andreevna's taste,

I will believe that you know how to cook.

Hold on, Eleonora Andreevana.

Lots of women lost their mind
because of this dessert.

Chef...

Dessert for Eleonora Andreevna is ready.

Attention,everyone!

Now Eleonora Andreevna
will taste the specialty of our new cook.

Follow me...

Eleonora Andrevna?

Eleonora Andrevna?

Eleonora Andrevna!

Come to me.

Please.

Look, she doesn't eat!

Yea, she would prefer a piece of meat.

Chef, but its not fair. Its a dog!

Right, she is a b...ch,
and in general the world is not fair.

Stop laughing!
Everyone is back to work!

If you want to prove him something,
make a bet with him.

- What?
- Make a bet!

Chef, lets bet!

What?

If it's not a dog, but a regular human,
he'll like my dish.

Ok, lets bet.

You will cook a dish for me
and if I like it you'll win and can stay.

If I win,
you'll leave this restaurant naked.

Deal.

Keep moving girls!
We have to kill it today.

Ainura, shovel...

- Lui, 200 gr of butter...
- Oui, Chef.

Leva, get a rabbit and truffels.

Fedia, cut into rings.

Senia, into small pieces.

As always.

Disappear, chicken-butt!

Daddy will cook.

- Dmitrii Vladimirovich is waiting for us.
- Good afternoon.

Good afternoon, come in, please.

- Good afternoon.
- Please.

- Good afternoon.
- Good afternoon. Please, sit down.

Sincerely happy to welcome you
in the best restaurant of Moscow.

So far, its the best, yes...
but we'll open in 2 weeks.

Here, let me introduce you
to my Chef Elena.

Interesting.

You've said your Chef will be from India.

So I see you didn't have enough money
to get an expensive one.

Why? Actually it's her...

She has been working
in the best restaurant of Delhi.

- Maybe it was not the best...
- She is being modest.

And before in New York, Venice, right?

Yes, yes, right.

And what about your Chef-alcoholic?

Hasn't he lost his liver yet?

Don't worry, his liver will live longer
than your restaurant.

Thanks, God.

Vika!

Yes, Dmitrii Vladimirovich.

You can serve us main dishes,
our guests are hungry already.

They missed good food.

But make sure please,
there is no any pepper.

Definitely, I will inform our Chef straight away.

Viktoria Sergeevna said
that main courses can be served already.

So take it then.

Leva, Im in my office,
creating a new menu.

You are doing great.

- Shame that he will never appreciate it.
- We will see.

He'll not even try and even if he does,
he'll never like it. I know him.

Wait,

Then we need more objective evaluation.

If something goes wrong,
you haven't seen anything.

Nastia, how long should we wait for you?
I have to do everything on my own.

I will take it, go to work.

- What?
- Nothing.

Ah, Viktor Petrovich,

What have you done?

I didn't know
that guest doesn't like white pepper.

You should have known Viktor Petrovich.

Chef, chef, come quickly!

What happened?
Did you finally learn how to cook mutton?

Chef, our guest got poisoned with your dish,
Dmitrii Vladimirovich left with him.

- What happened?
- I want to ask you what have you cooked!

They said he has an allergy to pepper.
Any moment he can die.

- What do you mean allergy?
- Its not my dish. What is it? Nastia?!

Nastia!!! Im asking you!!!

It's my dish.

Chef, its my fault.

I swapped our dishes.

I wanted to prove myself to you.

And whats happening here?
Is it a canteen?

And who are you?

I'm Chef of the restaurant
where we don't poison our customers.

Pepper...

Chef, but I didnt add any pepper!

Chef, I didn't even think that this dish will...

And I dont care whether you thought or didn't!!!

How dare you to send your dish to the dinning-hall!

It's my kitchen!!!

Mine!!!

And you... to show off
you risked life and health of this man!!!

For this...for this you have to be not just fired,
you have to be sentenced!!!

Get out!!!

Hello...

Yes, Dima...

Listen here, Mustachio.
I rarely have good news for you.

They examined my friend
and found aortic aneurysm.

So if he hasn't got allergic to your dish today...
thats it...

He would meet and greet his grandma by tomorrow.

So it turns out you saved his life, Mustachio.

So don't clean off that table.

He said once he leaves the hospital
he'll be back to finish eating....you.

Bye.

Oh, chicken-butt, you are still here.

Chef, I understood everything.
No need to humiliate me more.

You were chewing my brains the whole day.
I can humiliate you a few more months.

So you let me stay,
but why?

If I start thinking why I'm doing this,
I'll fire you for sure.

Chef, will you let him stay?

I bet Ainura
that he'll run away in a week himself.

By the way, chicken-butt,
you lost the bet.

Everyone has the right for a second chance.

Someone deserved this chance
by working long and hard.

Someone gets this chance from Life.

Someone wants to get a second chance
but scared to admit it.

All in all, Life is...

full of surprises.