Koala Man (2023–…): Season 1, Episode 7 - Emu War II - full transcript
Kevin encounters some tall birds.
- Routine border check
completed. All clear.
- Don't worry, mate.
Nothing's out there, never is.
What the hell is that?!
♪ Visions in my head ♪
♪ I can see the end ♪
Koala Kode 337:
Whoever's leaving hateful
comments on my subreddit,
bloody... cut it out, alright?
My God. Those are
real dead bodies, aren't they?
They're not fake at all.
That's why I called you here.
I know who did this.
I recognize their mark.
Those evil beaks,
those dinosaur talons.
I fought against
them a long time ago,
and still I cannot escape
visions from the war.
The Great Emu War!
That
wasn't a real war.
- All due respect, Koala
Man, you weren't there.
The Australian government
ordered us to cull emus
that were breeding
out of control,
but nobody expected
the emus to fight back.
Oh! No, no! Not my legs!
Not my legs, nooooo!
- That evil emu took my legs
that day, but I took his eye.
Next morning, the
military withdrew,
and humans and emus settled
into an uneasy peace.
But now something's
drawn them out!
Don't you understand, Koala
Man? The war was never over!
Not for them.
They'll kill us all!
I must warn Dapto...
- Now that I'm the second
most powerful girl in school,
you'd better watch your
back, Rosie Yodels.
I'm coming for you.
Remain calm, citizens!
I am here to alert you that we are
on the precipice of another Emu War!
That wasn't a real war!
Yes, it was. Look it up.
In fact, let's just all do
that right now, go to Wikipedia
and type in "The Great Emu War."
- Holy fucking shit.
It's actually real!
- Shut ya gob, Koala Man. We
got nothing to be afraid of.
I fought thousands of
animals on my show.
Any birds come near,
they're gettin' plucked.
Don't underestimate them, Dapto.
We have no idea when
they'll attack next.
♪ They will attack at dawn ♪
- Did he say dawn?
- But it's almost dawn right now.
- What are you talking about,
sweetie? Are you feeling okay?
Look, emu!
Emu at the fence!
- Maxwell, you geezer, those dumb
birds can't get past our fence.
- It's a bird!
- It's a plane!
It's a flightless
bird in a plane!
But... we have a fence.
The emus have militarized!
Goodbye, Rosie.
Uggh!
KOALA
MAN: Maxwell!
Go, Koala
Man! You're our only hope!
You will pay for
your sins, Dapto.
You will pay!
Hear me, humans.
I am General Peckmeister.
Once again, your
kind has attacked us!
A vile human has cracked
the Royal Emu Egg.
We shall execute one Daptonian
on the hour, every hour,
until you give up the
egg assassin!
I almost hope you don't confess,
for I crave the
taste of human blood.
I don't know if you know this, but I've
pecked before, and I will peck again!
♪ We're all
that's left of Dapto ♪
♪ Yeah, it's a fact-o ♪
♪ We're all that's
left of Daptooo... ♪
We get
it, little mate.
We're fuckin' fucked.
- Rosie? I thought I
saw the emus get you.
- I managed to get away. Not
that it's much better here.
Soooo true.
- Listen up, everybody, Principal
Bazwell here, as you know.
Whomsoever destroyed that egg
should stop being a
coward and come forward.
We will all die if the guilty
party does not confess.
So the stakes are pretty high.
Thank you, everyone,
enjoy your day.
Oh!
It's you.
You shouldn't have followed me.
- Vicky, you're my wife. I
know when something's up.
You can trust me.
I came here to
destroy the evidence.
Vicky. Why?
- I was managing the canteen alone
and the children were so hungry...
I had never seen an egg like it.
I don't know how it
ended up in the canteen.
I... I swear I didn't know
it was the Royal Emu Egg.
I didn't mean to start a war!
I'm sorry!
Shhhh! It's okay.
It's not your fault.
I must go on a solo mission
to parley with the emus.
But I promise I
will fix everything.
For us, for the kids, for Dapto.
Swear you'll come
back to me, Kevin.
I'll never leave you, Vicky.
After right now when I
do have to leave you.
- I've never been able
to nail a fishtail braid.
Thanks, Alison.
Oh, my God! You... know my name?
But you don't even follow me.
Course I know your name!
Soz, I've been pulling
back on social media.
It fuels people's obsession
with being perfect and popular.
But you are perfect and popular.
Every picture you
post is flawless.
What's your secret?
- Hmm... I guess the best way
to be popular is to be yourself.
Like, don't be fake, ya know?
- Hah. Yeah. I hate popularity
too. It's so intoxicating.
I mean, toxic.
Wow, Alison.
You really get me.
Let's take a pic.
Slutty freckle filter on.
- Cool if I tag you?
- Yes!
I mean, uh, sure, whatever.
Ugh, why is she
being so nice to me?
No, stick to the plan,
Alison! Eliminate Rosie.
♪ I was right about the birds ♪
♪ Are you listening
to my words? ♪
Oi! Pipe down, little mate!
♪ The future Liam sees ♪
♪ Spider's about to sneeze ♪
Aw, bless me!
- Now hold on a minute.
How'd he do that?
- ♪ Ever since the
first outpost strike ♪
♪ Visions of emus
appeared in my sight ♪
♪ Voices in my head do squawk ♪
♪ But are released through
the powers of prog rock! ♪
Fuck me dead, the boy has powers!
He can see into the future!
This is the advantage we
need to defeat the emus.
The lad's music can save Dapto!
- Those damn birds cut the power! He
can't sing if he can't play music.
- If only we could access North
Dapto High's backup generator.
Uch. Alas, it's all the way
on top of Generator Tower,
which happens to
be 102 meters high,
can only be reached via a very
rickety, unserviced ladder,
and can hardly bear the weight
of even a small year-seven girl.
It's a suicide mission
and only for the brave.
I volunteer!
And if I die... I die for Dapto.
Wow, Rosie.
Not only are you popular,
you're also brave.
I volunteer too!
To "protect" Rosie.
I'll allow this
dangerous mission.
But, Alison, do take
care of our Rosie.
It would be a tragedy if
anything were to happen
to the most popular
girl in Dapto.
A tragedy, indeed...
General Peckmeister!
I come in peace.
Wait, wait!
I have information about
the Royal Emu Egg. Please!
Well, I'll be stuffed!
Information, you
say? Seize the human!
Ugggh!
Take him to King Emudeus.
- I actually had a lot
more to say than that...
Ah, okay, I guess
we're going now.
I'll tell you later,
then. I'll tell you later.
Huh, that's clever.
Don't sell this technology
at Harvey Norman, do they?
Shut your beak-less mouth!
Uggh!
Welcome, Koala Man, to Emutopia!
Come on, Alison! You can do it.
You're almost at the top!
I know I am.
Y-you saved me.
Course I did, Alison!
Why would you do that?
Because you're my friend!
And I've learned not to
take friends for granted.
Like, McKayla Taylor
Mercedes went to jail,
Saucy Jr. got grilled,
and Sarah Sportsday
got incinerated.
Weird how all my
friends keep vanishing.
- Hee-hee. Soooooo weird.
- But I realize now that all
those friendships were fake.
Yet with you, I feel
a real connection.
You're not like
those other girls.
- You're real, Alison.
- I am?
I mean, I am!
You have such a pretty smile.
Ha! How cute.
I could just eat you both up.
Yum-yum-yum!
- This is it. I can finally be
the most powerful girl in Dapto.
Alison!
I've always loved children.
So tender.
Ugggh!
Leave my friend alone.
How dare you?!
This is for my
legs, you bastard!
That's my good eye!
You saved me!
- Course I did.
You're my friend.
Now, let's save Dapto together.
Oh, sweetie, you're burning up!
By jingos! Our Rosie did it!
And also there was
a girl next to her.
Sing, little mate, sing!
♪ Let the music flow ♪
♪ My vocals are back ♪
♪ So jam along if you know ♪
♪ Together ♪
♪ We can make
those birds quack ♪
- That's it! We must amplify
his psychic prog rock powers.
Let's get this boy a band!
Give us a sick
bass line, Spider!
Didn't you shred
back in the day?
I guess I know a few scales.
- Never played an instrument before,
but suppose I could give it a go.
I'll be the roadie.
It's actually a really important part of
the band that nobody ever appreciates.
♪ I see ♪
♪ The land ♪
♪ Where emus ♪
♪ Reside ♪
♪ Through ♪
♪ The barren outback ♪
♪ Let our music be ♪
♪ Your guide... ♪
- This is taking a
tremendous toll on Liam.
His body can't handle it,
Big Greg. He's only 40 kilos!
- Do you want to take
Dapto back or not?!
Rock on, mates!
I don't
understand, King Emudeus.
Wikipedia never mentioned you lot
were so technologically advanced
in the Great Emu War.
You mean the
War of Human Aggression?
For nearly a century, my
species has been evolving.
We've learned to
communicate through speech,
fly fighter planes
for air-to-air combat,
and partake in hot yoga.
All in preparation should
humans attack again.
With that knowledge,
we built Emutopia,
our own haven where we've lived in
peace and harmony beneath Australia.
That is, until our beloved
Royal Emu Egg was slaughtered!
- But violently taking over
Dapto won't bring back your egg.
It wasn't an easy
decision to wage war.
But sometimes, a hero must
make the ultimate sacrifice
for the greater
good of their flock.
I apologize on
behalf of all humans.
I admit we can be
selfish, brash,
and at times, drive our families
insane with our alter egos.
But even with all our differences,
there's one thing we have in common.
Oh? And what's that?
- No matter if we're bird or man, at
the end of the day, we're all blokes.
Good blokes.
So maybe we can strike
a Good Bloke Deal?
Whaddaya say, mate?
Ahh, you're right!
I'm a good bloke.
You're a good bloke.
Good blokes should just
get along! Cheers, mate.
What's that racket?
Sounds like it's both
elaborate and annoying?
In 7-8 time signature?
Whoaaaaaa!
Emus!
♪ It's time to say
your last prayer ♪
♪ I've led the human
resistance... ♪
Hold on!
♪ ...to your secret lair ♪
- There shall be no peace
between avian and man.
To arms, my emus!
♪ Both fingers and feathers ♪
♪ Fight 'til they're weathered ♪
♪ Bloodshed for all ♪
♪ Humanity will fall ♪
♪ Lest a hero should rise ♪
♪ Bring truth to the lies ♪
- ♪ Come forward, I beg ♪
- Vicky, no!
- ♪ Whoever cracked
the Royal Emu Egg... ♪
Stop!
♪ ...egg! ♪
I must end this chaos.
I know who cracked
the Royal Emu Egg.
- It was...
- Me! That's right!
I, Koala Man, smushed the egg.
All on my own!
And I smushed it oh-so good.
King Emudeus almost fell for it,
but turns out I'm not
a good bloke after all.
I'm a bad bloke!
What?!
- B-but why, Koala Man?
Why? Because I
wanted Dapto to fail!
I wanted the emus to destroy
this town. I wanted this war.
They say to
never meet your heroes.
- You think it's easy to always
paint over your graffiti,
or remind you about bin day,
or measure your grass to ensure it's
within a centimeter of the council limit?
This town never appreciated me, and
I'm tired of cleaning up your mess!
- Koala Man, who we have all
looked up to, said he hates Dapto!
- Kevin, why are you
taking the fall for me?
- Sometimes a hero must
make the ultimate sacrifice
for the greater
good of their flock.
Seize him!
- Yeahhh!
- That sounded quite medieval, didn't it?
No, Koala Man!
Get off me!
- From this day forth, both
emu and man shall thrive
under the Emutopia-Dapto
peace treaty!
- You're birds, we're blokes,
but we both got two legs.
Two legs that stand in...
Strayaaaaa!
Strayaaaaa!
- Lest we forget, we are most united
in our hatred for a common enemy.
As punishment for the heinous war
crimes against the emu nation,
I hereby sentence
Koala Man to exile!
Yeah, exile!
- I can't believe they're
going to exile Koala Man.
Ugggh!
Eh, I'm sure he'll be fine.
You know, Alison,
I never imagined
I'd be at an interspecies
truce ceremony with you.
- Yeah, I never imagined
we'd be side-by-side either.
- You truly are my
ride-or-die, Alison.
Ride-or-dies...
forever.
- Wait!
You don't have to do this,
Kevin. Just take the mask off.
Sneak back into town and
forget about Koala Man.
No. Honor demands
that I do this.
Please tell the kids
that I love them.
Oh, Kevin, please!
Don't.
- Thank you for putting
up with Koala Man, Vicky.
And when you think of
me, remember one thing...
Anything, Kevin.
- Sprinklers run on Mondays,
Wednesdays, and Fridays.
There's a drought on.
I'll put the bins out.
- I know.
This isn't so bad!
Fresh air, exercise...
and I'm getting a free tan!
Ugggh!
Where am I?
Toothbrush Island!
Untie me immediately!
- But isn't this what
you wanted, Koala Man?
To be a koala man, man?
Using my own superhero
identity against me... villainous!
- And not just your
superhero identity... Kevin!
Kevin? That's me!
How do you know my
civilian identity?
- I am the Kookaburra,
your archnemesis.
And I've been after you
for a long time, mate.
You see, I was the one
who sabotaged your bins
and drew out the Tall Poppy,
who put the Tradies onto you,
who got Chad Wagon to turn
your own son against you,
who summoned The Great One
to screw your precious Dapto,
who hired the gang of
kangaroos to carjack you,
who rigged the Handies
torch to explode.
And yes, I was the one
who set Vicky up to
crack the emu egg!
All so I could
take down Koala Man
and have Dapto to myself!
Now, the Kookaburra
will be the town's hero.
- How did I not see this coming?
My koala senses should've tingled!
- And I guess your "koala senses"
didn't tingle this either.
I was the one driving the V8 car
that ran over your beloved cub!
- You killed Mindy! You won't
get away with this, Kookaburra!
This is not on!
Aaah! Oh, look,
you're not a koala.
You're just a wanker. Hyah!
Enjoy Toothbrush Island, Kevin.
'Cause Dapto is mine!
Noooooooo!
completed. All clear.
- Don't worry, mate.
Nothing's out there, never is.
What the hell is that?!
♪ Visions in my head ♪
♪ I can see the end ♪
Koala Kode 337:
Whoever's leaving hateful
comments on my subreddit,
bloody... cut it out, alright?
My God. Those are
real dead bodies, aren't they?
They're not fake at all.
That's why I called you here.
I know who did this.
I recognize their mark.
Those evil beaks,
those dinosaur talons.
I fought against
them a long time ago,
and still I cannot escape
visions from the war.
The Great Emu War!
That
wasn't a real war.
- All due respect, Koala
Man, you weren't there.
The Australian government
ordered us to cull emus
that were breeding
out of control,
but nobody expected
the emus to fight back.
Oh! No, no! Not my legs!
Not my legs, nooooo!
- That evil emu took my legs
that day, but I took his eye.
Next morning, the
military withdrew,
and humans and emus settled
into an uneasy peace.
But now something's
drawn them out!
Don't you understand, Koala
Man? The war was never over!
Not for them.
They'll kill us all!
I must warn Dapto...
- Now that I'm the second
most powerful girl in school,
you'd better watch your
back, Rosie Yodels.
I'm coming for you.
Remain calm, citizens!
I am here to alert you that we are
on the precipice of another Emu War!
That wasn't a real war!
Yes, it was. Look it up.
In fact, let's just all do
that right now, go to Wikipedia
and type in "The Great Emu War."
- Holy fucking shit.
It's actually real!
- Shut ya gob, Koala Man. We
got nothing to be afraid of.
I fought thousands of
animals on my show.
Any birds come near,
they're gettin' plucked.
Don't underestimate them, Dapto.
We have no idea when
they'll attack next.
♪ They will attack at dawn ♪
- Did he say dawn?
- But it's almost dawn right now.
- What are you talking about,
sweetie? Are you feeling okay?
Look, emu!
Emu at the fence!
- Maxwell, you geezer, those dumb
birds can't get past our fence.
- It's a bird!
- It's a plane!
It's a flightless
bird in a plane!
But... we have a fence.
The emus have militarized!
Goodbye, Rosie.
Uggh!
KOALA
MAN: Maxwell!
Go, Koala
Man! You're our only hope!
You will pay for
your sins, Dapto.
You will pay!
Hear me, humans.
I am General Peckmeister.
Once again, your
kind has attacked us!
A vile human has cracked
the Royal Emu Egg.
We shall execute one Daptonian
on the hour, every hour,
until you give up the
egg assassin!
I almost hope you don't confess,
for I crave the
taste of human blood.
I don't know if you know this, but I've
pecked before, and I will peck again!
♪ We're all
that's left of Dapto ♪
♪ Yeah, it's a fact-o ♪
♪ We're all that's
left of Daptooo... ♪
We get
it, little mate.
We're fuckin' fucked.
- Rosie? I thought I
saw the emus get you.
- I managed to get away. Not
that it's much better here.
Soooo true.
- Listen up, everybody, Principal
Bazwell here, as you know.
Whomsoever destroyed that egg
should stop being a
coward and come forward.
We will all die if the guilty
party does not confess.
So the stakes are pretty high.
Thank you, everyone,
enjoy your day.
Oh!
It's you.
You shouldn't have followed me.
- Vicky, you're my wife. I
know when something's up.
You can trust me.
I came here to
destroy the evidence.
Vicky. Why?
- I was managing the canteen alone
and the children were so hungry...
I had never seen an egg like it.
I don't know how it
ended up in the canteen.
I... I swear I didn't know
it was the Royal Emu Egg.
I didn't mean to start a war!
I'm sorry!
Shhhh! It's okay.
It's not your fault.
I must go on a solo mission
to parley with the emus.
But I promise I
will fix everything.
For us, for the kids, for Dapto.
Swear you'll come
back to me, Kevin.
I'll never leave you, Vicky.
After right now when I
do have to leave you.
- I've never been able
to nail a fishtail braid.
Thanks, Alison.
Oh, my God! You... know my name?
But you don't even follow me.
Course I know your name!
Soz, I've been pulling
back on social media.
It fuels people's obsession
with being perfect and popular.
But you are perfect and popular.
Every picture you
post is flawless.
What's your secret?
- Hmm... I guess the best way
to be popular is to be yourself.
Like, don't be fake, ya know?
- Hah. Yeah. I hate popularity
too. It's so intoxicating.
I mean, toxic.
Wow, Alison.
You really get me.
Let's take a pic.
Slutty freckle filter on.
- Cool if I tag you?
- Yes!
I mean, uh, sure, whatever.
Ugh, why is she
being so nice to me?
No, stick to the plan,
Alison! Eliminate Rosie.
♪ I was right about the birds ♪
♪ Are you listening
to my words? ♪
Oi! Pipe down, little mate!
♪ The future Liam sees ♪
♪ Spider's about to sneeze ♪
Aw, bless me!
- Now hold on a minute.
How'd he do that?
- ♪ Ever since the
first outpost strike ♪
♪ Visions of emus
appeared in my sight ♪
♪ Voices in my head do squawk ♪
♪ But are released through
the powers of prog rock! ♪
Fuck me dead, the boy has powers!
He can see into the future!
This is the advantage we
need to defeat the emus.
The lad's music can save Dapto!
- Those damn birds cut the power! He
can't sing if he can't play music.
- If only we could access North
Dapto High's backup generator.
Uch. Alas, it's all the way
on top of Generator Tower,
which happens to
be 102 meters high,
can only be reached via a very
rickety, unserviced ladder,
and can hardly bear the weight
of even a small year-seven girl.
It's a suicide mission
and only for the brave.
I volunteer!
And if I die... I die for Dapto.
Wow, Rosie.
Not only are you popular,
you're also brave.
I volunteer too!
To "protect" Rosie.
I'll allow this
dangerous mission.
But, Alison, do take
care of our Rosie.
It would be a tragedy if
anything were to happen
to the most popular
girl in Dapto.
A tragedy, indeed...
General Peckmeister!
I come in peace.
Wait, wait!
I have information about
the Royal Emu Egg. Please!
Well, I'll be stuffed!
Information, you
say? Seize the human!
Ugggh!
Take him to King Emudeus.
- I actually had a lot
more to say than that...
Ah, okay, I guess
we're going now.
I'll tell you later,
then. I'll tell you later.
Huh, that's clever.
Don't sell this technology
at Harvey Norman, do they?
Shut your beak-less mouth!
Uggh!
Welcome, Koala Man, to Emutopia!
Come on, Alison! You can do it.
You're almost at the top!
I know I am.
Y-you saved me.
Course I did, Alison!
Why would you do that?
Because you're my friend!
And I've learned not to
take friends for granted.
Like, McKayla Taylor
Mercedes went to jail,
Saucy Jr. got grilled,
and Sarah Sportsday
got incinerated.
Weird how all my
friends keep vanishing.
- Hee-hee. Soooooo weird.
- But I realize now that all
those friendships were fake.
Yet with you, I feel
a real connection.
You're not like
those other girls.
- You're real, Alison.
- I am?
I mean, I am!
You have such a pretty smile.
Ha! How cute.
I could just eat you both up.
Yum-yum-yum!
- This is it. I can finally be
the most powerful girl in Dapto.
Alison!
I've always loved children.
So tender.
Ugggh!
Leave my friend alone.
How dare you?!
This is for my
legs, you bastard!
That's my good eye!
You saved me!
- Course I did.
You're my friend.
Now, let's save Dapto together.
Oh, sweetie, you're burning up!
By jingos! Our Rosie did it!
And also there was
a girl next to her.
Sing, little mate, sing!
♪ Let the music flow ♪
♪ My vocals are back ♪
♪ So jam along if you know ♪
♪ Together ♪
♪ We can make
those birds quack ♪
- That's it! We must amplify
his psychic prog rock powers.
Let's get this boy a band!
Give us a sick
bass line, Spider!
Didn't you shred
back in the day?
I guess I know a few scales.
- Never played an instrument before,
but suppose I could give it a go.
I'll be the roadie.
It's actually a really important part of
the band that nobody ever appreciates.
♪ I see ♪
♪ The land ♪
♪ Where emus ♪
♪ Reside ♪
♪ Through ♪
♪ The barren outback ♪
♪ Let our music be ♪
♪ Your guide... ♪
- This is taking a
tremendous toll on Liam.
His body can't handle it,
Big Greg. He's only 40 kilos!
- Do you want to take
Dapto back or not?!
Rock on, mates!
I don't
understand, King Emudeus.
Wikipedia never mentioned you lot
were so technologically advanced
in the Great Emu War.
You mean the
War of Human Aggression?
For nearly a century, my
species has been evolving.
We've learned to
communicate through speech,
fly fighter planes
for air-to-air combat,
and partake in hot yoga.
All in preparation should
humans attack again.
With that knowledge,
we built Emutopia,
our own haven where we've lived in
peace and harmony beneath Australia.
That is, until our beloved
Royal Emu Egg was slaughtered!
- But violently taking over
Dapto won't bring back your egg.
It wasn't an easy
decision to wage war.
But sometimes, a hero must
make the ultimate sacrifice
for the greater
good of their flock.
I apologize on
behalf of all humans.
I admit we can be
selfish, brash,
and at times, drive our families
insane with our alter egos.
But even with all our differences,
there's one thing we have in common.
Oh? And what's that?
- No matter if we're bird or man, at
the end of the day, we're all blokes.
Good blokes.
So maybe we can strike
a Good Bloke Deal?
Whaddaya say, mate?
Ahh, you're right!
I'm a good bloke.
You're a good bloke.
Good blokes should just
get along! Cheers, mate.
What's that racket?
Sounds like it's both
elaborate and annoying?
In 7-8 time signature?
Whoaaaaaa!
Emus!
♪ It's time to say
your last prayer ♪
♪ I've led the human
resistance... ♪
Hold on!
♪ ...to your secret lair ♪
- There shall be no peace
between avian and man.
To arms, my emus!
♪ Both fingers and feathers ♪
♪ Fight 'til they're weathered ♪
♪ Bloodshed for all ♪
♪ Humanity will fall ♪
♪ Lest a hero should rise ♪
♪ Bring truth to the lies ♪
- ♪ Come forward, I beg ♪
- Vicky, no!
- ♪ Whoever cracked
the Royal Emu Egg... ♪
Stop!
♪ ...egg! ♪
I must end this chaos.
I know who cracked
the Royal Emu Egg.
- It was...
- Me! That's right!
I, Koala Man, smushed the egg.
All on my own!
And I smushed it oh-so good.
King Emudeus almost fell for it,
but turns out I'm not
a good bloke after all.
I'm a bad bloke!
What?!
- B-but why, Koala Man?
Why? Because I
wanted Dapto to fail!
I wanted the emus to destroy
this town. I wanted this war.
They say to
never meet your heroes.
- You think it's easy to always
paint over your graffiti,
or remind you about bin day,
or measure your grass to ensure it's
within a centimeter of the council limit?
This town never appreciated me, and
I'm tired of cleaning up your mess!
- Koala Man, who we have all
looked up to, said he hates Dapto!
- Kevin, why are you
taking the fall for me?
- Sometimes a hero must
make the ultimate sacrifice
for the greater
good of their flock.
Seize him!
- Yeahhh!
- That sounded quite medieval, didn't it?
No, Koala Man!
Get off me!
- From this day forth, both
emu and man shall thrive
under the Emutopia-Dapto
peace treaty!
- You're birds, we're blokes,
but we both got two legs.
Two legs that stand in...
Strayaaaaa!
Strayaaaaa!
- Lest we forget, we are most united
in our hatred for a common enemy.
As punishment for the heinous war
crimes against the emu nation,
I hereby sentence
Koala Man to exile!
Yeah, exile!
- I can't believe they're
going to exile Koala Man.
Ugggh!
Eh, I'm sure he'll be fine.
You know, Alison,
I never imagined
I'd be at an interspecies
truce ceremony with you.
- Yeah, I never imagined
we'd be side-by-side either.
- You truly are my
ride-or-die, Alison.
Ride-or-dies...
forever.
- Wait!
You don't have to do this,
Kevin. Just take the mask off.
Sneak back into town and
forget about Koala Man.
No. Honor demands
that I do this.
Please tell the kids
that I love them.
Oh, Kevin, please!
Don't.
- Thank you for putting
up with Koala Man, Vicky.
And when you think of
me, remember one thing...
Anything, Kevin.
- Sprinklers run on Mondays,
Wednesdays, and Fridays.
There's a drought on.
I'll put the bins out.
- I know.
This isn't so bad!
Fresh air, exercise...
and I'm getting a free tan!
Ugggh!
Where am I?
Toothbrush Island!
Untie me immediately!
- But isn't this what
you wanted, Koala Man?
To be a koala man, man?
Using my own superhero
identity against me... villainous!
- And not just your
superhero identity... Kevin!
Kevin? That's me!
How do you know my
civilian identity?
- I am the Kookaburra,
your archnemesis.
And I've been after you
for a long time, mate.
You see, I was the one
who sabotaged your bins
and drew out the Tall Poppy,
who put the Tradies onto you,
who got Chad Wagon to turn
your own son against you,
who summoned The Great One
to screw your precious Dapto,
who hired the gang of
kangaroos to carjack you,
who rigged the Handies
torch to explode.
And yes, I was the one
who set Vicky up to
crack the emu egg!
All so I could
take down Koala Man
and have Dapto to myself!
Now, the Kookaburra
will be the town's hero.
- How did I not see this coming?
My koala senses should've tingled!
- And I guess your "koala senses"
didn't tingle this either.
I was the one driving the V8 car
that ran over your beloved cub!
- You killed Mindy! You won't
get away with this, Kookaburra!
This is not on!
Aaah! Oh, look,
you're not a koala.
You're just a wanker. Hyah!
Enjoy Toothbrush Island, Kevin.
'Cause Dapto is mine!
Noooooooo!