Knight Squad (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 9 - Do the Knight Thing - full transcript

Ah!

Man, Sage is angrier than usual.

I win. Ha!

Yeah. Ha, ha, ha.
That's right...

Thanks to the crouching
cacti move I taught you.

Oh, please, I did the hard part.

All you did was the
teaching part.

Wait. Wait. Wait a minute.

Did I hear you?

Do you think teaching is easy?

Yes.



Uh, yes, I don't.

Teaching is not easy!

Go take some laps and think
about what you said.

All right. Let's go, Buttercup,

- if I'm running...
- Then I'm skipping.

It's Sorceress Spitzalot.

Spit shields, up!

Salutations, Knight Schoolers.

There's too much spit.

Our shields aren't gonna hold.

Spitzy, why are you here?

Due to a magical mishap,

the Spitzalot School of Sorcery

sank to the bottom Loogie Lake.



I'm sorry. I'll send you
some snot-proof socks.

Here we go. Bye-bye.

I was hoping you'd
share your school

with a few of my
students for a while.

Well, our schools are rivals.

But the knights' code says
to help those in need.

You can stay. I'll just...

order some more towels.

Splendid!

Say hello to my star
students, Team Hex!

Hi! I'm Ciara.

This is Arc, Warwick and Prudy.

We're the Phoenix Squad.

I'm Sebastian.

Yes, that Sebastian.

He's a three-time Most
Valuable Sorcerer.

Oh, Violet, stop.

Bragging about me is my job.

You may be the best
sorcerer in your school,

but Warwick is the
best in this school.

We heard all about you choosing

knight school over our school.

You really punched the
pooch on that one.

Now, now, Violet.

I'm sure they're all going to
become fantastic knights...

Even this one whose arms are
clearly too long for his body.

Anyway, it was nice
meeting you all...

Especially you, Chiaro.

Her name is Ciara.

My apologies, Kudy.

So, we hate them, right?

It's fine. It's a big castle.

We'll probably never see them.

Uh, Team Hex will be staying

in your Squad Room for
the next few weeks.

Okay. So, we'll see
them every day.

♪ Yeah yeah yeah hey ♪

What are you doing
here, Buttercup?

I asked Sage to come.

But she's my BFF.

We're ride or die.

Yeah, I don't know what
that means, but...

but you get down
with your bad self.

Uh-huh. So, why am I here?

Well, since you think
teaching is easy,

you're going to teach children

who want to be knights one day.

Kids?

That's gonna be a piece of cake.

Okay.

Meet the Knighty Knights!

Aw, those kids are so adorable.

Hey, cutie-pies!

Can it, lady!

Knighty Knights, assemble!

Students, this is your teacher
for the day, Ms. Sage.

This is Brea, Georgie,
Punchie and Bitie.

New teacher, I brought
you a present.

Ooh, I like presents.
Give it to me.

Okay.

Yeah. Good luck, Teach.

I don't need luck.

I won't let these little
monsters get to me.

Knighty Knight salute!

I don't know what
that hurts so much,

but it does!

All right, it's unfair
we have to share

our room with Team Hex.

And it's mean how
they made fun of

Arc's long arms.

Yeah.

My nana says they make
for perfect hugs.

Remember, knights
help those in need.

Make yourselves at home.

Thank you, Chalupa.

You know that's not my name!

Violet, poof in our things.

Vidatour sorcee stuffee!

My toe!

Okay, when she said, "make
yourselves at home,"

this isn't what she meant,

right, Chalupa?

I mean, Ciara.

All right, get rid
of this garbage.

Violet, you heard the man.

Get rid of the garbage.

Begoneth Phoenix Squadeth!

Awww...

we were the garbage.

♪ Oh oh oh oh ♪

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh ♪

♪ Oh oh oh oh ♪

Hey!

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh ♪

♪ Oh oh oh oh ♪

♪ Oh oh ♪ Hey!

♪ Oh, we will be heroes ♪

♪ We are the Knight Squad ♪

♪ Hey! ♪

♪ Oh oh oh, hey ♪

♪ Oh oh oh, hey ♪

Team Hex took over our room.

Feast your eyeball on this.

Well, my eyeball sees
that nothing has changed.

Sir Gareth, the Phoenix Squad
won't share this room.

We hung a portrait of our
beloved Sorceress Spitzalot,

and they turned it into
Sorceress 'Stashalot.

And we were so sweet to them.

That's what hurts the most.

Oh...

Spitzy, these accusations do
not sound like my students.

Well, my students
wouldn't lie to me.

Sebastian's the son
I've always wished for,

and Violet is always...

standing next to him.

Then she's standing next to

a big, old meany head.

Ooh, that's a ten burn!

I'm surprised you can
count that high.

Oh, we can count
all the numbers!

One, two, three, five, six!

I know I forgot four!
I'm just really upset!

Clearly this situation
is not working out.

Sir Gareth, we must
go to the king

so he can resolve this matter.

Game over.

The king loves
Sorceress Spitzalot.

She'll poof in some
magic pizza for him,

and this Squad
Room will be ours.

Come on, Team Hex,

let's go to the training yard

and accidentally throw their
equipment over the cliff.

Guys, we have to catch them.

Arc, we've gotta do something

to get Team Hex out of our room.

We've gotta get them
out of our school.

As long as they're here,

our lives are gonna
be miserable.

You're right.

We take knight
school underground.

We train in the dark.

Or we get the princess
to talk to the king.

Daughter outweighs pizza, right?

Oh, it depends on
how hungry he is.

For some reason, these
kids would rather have fun

than follow the rules.

Know what? I've had it.

No more Miss Nice Sage.

Sage School is now in session.

Knighty Knights, line up!

I told Sir Gareth
teaching was easy.

All I needed was a
big scary stick!

Stand at attention!

You all look...

weak!

You need uniforms.

Yes.

They look like three
little Sages.

And she's a little Butt.

The king's about to arrive
and tell us his decision.

Where's Ciara?

Uh, well, she wanted
to be here, but she...

Stop talking, Arc. The
princess is here.

Enjoy the magic
pizza, Your Majesty.

Every time you take a bite,

it grows back.

Oh...

This is the happiest I've
ever been in my life!

Whatever.

I never liked the
Squad Room anyway.

I'm lying!

I love it more than
goblins love pie!

Relax, all right?

I've got a feeling that
the king's decision

will make us very happy.

Have you made a
decision, Your Majesty?

Oh, before you decide, I'd
like to say something,

since I barely know
what's going on,

and don't have any favorites.

Well, Sweetums,

please tell me your
unbiased opinion.

It doesn't matter who
gets the Squad Room

because these two schools
have been rivals for years.

There's no way they
can share the school.

But sharing is caring.

How would you feel
if you had to share

your pizza with Sir Gareth?

Oh.

I'd sooner let him starve.

I've slayed like four
dragons for you.

Then you should be able
to get your own pizza!

The point is some things
aren't meant to be shared.

Your pizza logic
has convinced me.

This school will not be shared.

Yes!

Instead, Phoenix
Squad and Team Hex

will battle for the school.

No!

Winners stay.

Losers move to Loogie Lake.

So, wait, we're gonna
lose our school now?

How did that happen?

Not with my involvement,
that's for sure.

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪

Guys, we're totally
gonna win that battle.

But on the off-chance

that we do lose the school,
what are we gonna do?

We can't let Team Hex win.

The princess isn't into
long-distance relationships.

I assume...

since we've never spoken.

All right, more importantly,

I have several months
of memories here.

Oh, no, now I'm crying.

But if you cry, I'm gonna cry.

Oh, here come the giant tears.

Guys, knights don't cry.

Guess we should
call Phoenix Squad

the Baby Squad.

Oh, go easy on them, Violet.

They're about to
lose their school.

We are totally keeping
this sweet foosball table.

We're not gonna lose our school

because we're gonna work hard

and win that competition.

Oh, working hard.

That is so cute.

You see, we don't
have to work hard.

We can use magic for anything...

Especially winning.

Did he just giggle evilly?

That's just how he giggles.

I do it, too.

Guys, they're totally
gonna cheat.

I know because innocent
people giggle like this.

But cheaters giggle like this.

Do you hear the difference?

I'm starting to hear it.
Keep it going.

Or he could just
get to the point.

Okay, look, Team Hex is a
bunch of cheating cheaters,

so, if they're gonna
cheat, we should cheat.

To be clear, let's cheat.

We can't do that.

We have to stay true
to the knights' code.

Fine.

We'll do the right thing.

But just in case they win,

I'm licking every handle
on that foosball table.

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey hey hey hey hey ♪

Georgie, first rule
of Sage School!

If you're not in our
squad, you're an enemy.

Correct! Brea, second rule!

Do whatever you can to
take out your enemy.

Correct!

Dang, I am a great teacher.

Clap for me.

Now clap for Buttercup
because she is delightful.

Well, I will be in
the teachers' lounge

drinking your juice boxes.
Bye-bye!

Good job, guys.

Miss Sage said to take
out our enemies, right?

Yep!

And if you're not on our squad,

you're an enemy?

Yeppity-yep.

So, that makes you and
Miss Sage our enemies?

I guess so. Why do you ask?

No reason.

Welcome to the battle
for knight school.

First team to win two out
of three events stays.

Losers get Loogied.

For the first event,

each team will yank
on a large rope

trying to pull the other team

into a pit full of swamp slugs.

It's called The Slug of War.

Let me guess. You named it?

Pretty good, right?

Sure.

See, Arc, we don't
have to cheat.

There's no way we're
gonna lose a Slug of War

with a powerful
giant on our team.

I could probably use one hand.

Sorcerers have no
upper body strength.

It's true.

But, thanks to all
the hand waving,

we have very strong wrists.

Just so you know,

once we take this school,

we're going to knock down
everything you love,

and poof in some new stuff.

Yeah, we're gonna poof
all over this place.

Students!

- Grab your ropes!
- I...

It's like you're
doing it on purpose.

And...

begin!

Uh-oh, they're winning.

Not for long.

Invisibility pushy-wushy.

Oh! Something's pushing me!

- What?
- And I can't stop it!

Oh, no!

Ah, swamp bugs!

They're everywhere!

I've got slugbrows.

Success! Sorcerers
take round one.

Looks like we pushed our
way into first place.

You mean "pulled," right?

Of course, Sorceress.

Did you hear that?

Those cheating cheaters cheated.

Guys, if we lose the next
battle, we lose the school.

We have to do something.

This is where Ciara says
that we have to behave

and follow the knights' code.

Forget the code.

We have to cheat!

I don't know where Ciara went,

but I like you.

♪ Oh oh oh ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

Okay, for the next event,
we're gonna have to

break down a large wooden
door using a battering ram.

This is how we're
going to cheat.

Ooh, how about we put
honey in their shoes,

so they get chased by bears?

Man, I'm good at this.

Okay. All right. Yeah, maybe.

But I think that we
should probably...

Oh, I know!

Before the event,
we'll hug each member

of Team Hex for a
really long time.

Then they'll care about
us too much to cheat.

What?

I've got it.

We hug them while bears
lick their honey shoes.

Boom! ♪ Synergy ♪

Okay, none of these
things are cheating.

They're just weird things.

And I guess you
have a better plan.

Yes, I do.

Okay, last week, Warwick used

a roasting spell
on our hot dogs.

Delish, by the way.

He could roast their
battering ram

making it so hot, they
couldn't touch it.

Uh, how's that gonna work
with the honey shoes?

We're not doing the honey shoes!

Miss Sage, Sir Gareth is coming

and he looks real mad.

But why? I didn't do anything.

Yeah, I did a lot of stuff.

Wait here, I'll get rid of him.

Oh, thanks, Brea.

I'm gonna let you keep
your juice box tomorrow.

Ooh, under these leaves,
there's a mystery net.

What?

Oh, ha, ha.

Put me down! I am your teacher!

And I'm Buttercup.

But you're not members
of our squad,

so you're an enemy.

And you taught us

to do whatever we can
to take out an enemy.

You've been taken out!

Well, you trapped us.

But I would have taken
it a step further.

We did. That net's
tied to a zip line.

It goes to the river.
Hope you can swim.

Now are you ready to admit

to Sir Gareth that
teaching is hard?

No! And we're never gonna
tell him about this.

We won't have to.

He's over there laughing
with the Knighty Knights.

All right, guys,

whether we win this
battle or not,

you guys have embraced cheating.

And that means so much to me.

I love cheating. Let's do this.

Phoenix Squad.

Look, I may be severely far
sighted and missing an eye,

but even I can see that
Team Hex plays dirty.

So, I have a feeling
they're goin' down, sir.

Well, I'd rather
teach you students

at the bottom of Loogie Lake,

than teach those
cheaters anywhere.

You live by the knights' code...

Which makes your honorable.

So, is everyone
feeling terrible?

I'm just gonna go with
super awful, but, yeah.

Even if Team Hex is
gonna cheat, we can't.

It's not what knights do.

She's right.

Why is Sir Gareth
such a good example?

It's time.

Team Hex, begin!

All they did was
smash a tiny hole.

We got this.

Phoenix Squad.

Break that door like where
you live depends on it...

Because it does!

There's no damage to the door?

That was a waste of a speech.

Team Hex is the winner!

What happened?

Team Hex must have cheated
away my giant's strength.

Look, the door!

Oh!

I got the door. Get them out.

Come on!

Well done, students.

Prudy, you still have
your giant's strength.

Wait, then how did
Team Hex cheat?

Don't be ridiculous.

Sebastian, did you cheat?

I can't lie.

No.

- I believe him.
- I don't.

Epitus speakee truthus!

Like your spell's
going to work on him.

I totally cheated.

Hey, so, I got this
awesome spring

I put in their battering ram.

I'd do it again.

And the blond boy's arms
are perfectly normal.

I knew it.

Which means Team Hex
is disqualified.

Yes!

I'm so ashamed!

It's time for Team Hex

to go back to the snotty
shores of Loogie Lake.

You spit a lot when you talk.

Turn the spell off.

I'm proud of you, Phoenix Squad.

You saved the school,
and the king,

who left behind his pizza.

Double win.

Don't you dare, Gareth!

Oh, gotta go.

See? I told you,

if we followed the
knights' code, we'd win.

You were right, Ciara.

But, more importantly,

- my arms are normal!
- ♪ Hey hey ♪

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