Kitchenblock (2021): Season 1, Episode 1 - Episode #1.1 - full transcript

In short, there was a bugler and a drummer at the gate.

They were always together and loved each other.

But one night some kids from that camp

beat the drummer.

The bugler was left alone.

Since then, every night after lights out, she walks around the camp,

looking for the one

who broke the drummer.

To strangle him and turn him to stone.

In short, boys, this camp is damned.

Last year, one girl from our yard went here.



She went into the forest and disappeared.

And then a skeleton was found at home.

Sereg, are there any locals here?

- There is. - Well, yes, there is.

But they don't go to camp. - Why?

Fear.

- Whom? - Runaway convicts.

Yes Yes. Here runaway convicts live in the forest.

The guys from the last shift told.

They run away from the zone and run completely wild in the forest.

They become animals.

Straight animals.

They eat people raw.

What are you telling stories? “I tell you, these are the places.



Yes, it's covered in blood.

The blood of the Red Army.

There was a fierce battle in that village during the civil war.

How do you know about the war?

From the library.

Calm down, Tityapkin.

My brother told me he was a counselor here last year.

Now he's on the way too, right?

No.

What happened?

His brother died.

Well, because there is less to say.

This is how the language, like a pomelo, brings these topics to the fore.

Listen...

What is your name?

Valera Lagunov.

And I'm Leva, Leva Khlopov.

Friendship?

Friendship.

Hello.

Uncle Wan.

What do you want?

Give me a steering wheel to the pier?

Go patly out your tonsure.

I see where you are going to steer.

Get out of the pioneers of the steering wheel.

Well, let's at least stand in the wheelhouse, huh?

Well, wait. Get in.

Igorek, come on, be quiet.

- Come here, come here. — Yes, what, Dimon?

Come on, come on, come on.

Come on, come on, go.

So.

Seek there. Know her?

I don't know anyone here.

Now I'm going to get married, look how it's done, look.

I'm sorry.

Young woman,

and your mother does not need a son-in-law, by any chance?

Here's another.

Gorgeous.

First squad, follow me. Follow me.

- The fourth detachment, let's line up ... - Irish!

... in pairs quickly.

Reach!

Meet Igorek, my friend, we studied at school with him.

— Now arrived, listen. - Let's go, let's go.

He came to practice, he doesn’t know anyone here at all.

- Let's go, let's go. - You somehow arrange there, there,

look how it is, okay?

- Igor, take the bag from the girl, help. - Yes.

- Well, what are you, really? No need, I'll take it myself.

Eh, so, you are Korzukhin, right?

You are with me together in the fourth. You will live with Plotkin.

He is from the third.

Irish! Ir!

Grab something delicious from the cafeteria, okay?

Guys, over here.

- Third squad. Some crazy person.

You remembered? Sasha Plotkin.

Yes, I remember.

Irina Mikhailovna, actually.

Irina Mikhailovna.

- What? - Will there be a disco?

Are you interested in anything other than disco?

Irina Mikhailovna, will there be a song contest?

Children's song - will be.

What about football?

Traumatic.

No football.

Damn, what's up?

Tityapkin! Are you out of your mind?! Quickly get in your place.

Well, you're a freak.

We greet you!

Why are you so sour? Did you miss your mom, huh?

Who walks together in a row ?!

Our pioneer team!

Who is walking in step?

Give way to pioneers!

Oh, well done, well done!

What kind of fool is this?

This is Whistle. Main leader.

Wow.

Hoba, this is mine.

- I'm here! Don't take mine. - Chur, mine is at the window.

Nevermind!

And I'm here. It's less windy here.

And what, bedside tables are not locked?

Yep, dreaming.

Hey, Tityapkin, let me go to the window, huh?

I'm a footballer. I run.

My lungs are designed like this.

I need oxygen.

Yes Easy.

Well, that's good.

Who are you studying?

Foreign languages.

English.

All you need is love?

What?

"Битлы".

You know, I don't approve of this.

We seem to be in a Soviet camp.

Do you approve of girls?

I'm sorry, I don't remember, what's your name?

Igor.

Igor, very nice. Alexander.

So yes, Igor.

We don't bring girls here.

I won't give up the room.

We are all living people. “I don’t approve of vulgarity.

And if you respect a girl, you won't do it.

Understand?

What is that?

This is a house. From mosquitoes.

Brother taught. “Didn’t you bring a tent with you?”

Okay.

I'll be here then.

And you back off to the exit.

Go alone.

What are you, bespectacled, oborzel?

Oh, now let's see boxing.

Get out of here.

- Hey, bespectacled ... - Tityapa, cool down,

otherwise I will speak for Lagunov.

Okay, what?

It happens.

What if she wants to? - The decent will not want.

You just don't know girls.

I do have a fiancee.

Really?

Do you live with her?

I respect her.

For me, these premarital intimate relationships are unacceptable.

And when is the wedding?

And the parents joined the cooperative. By January, the house will be completed, the apartment will be handed over.

While the repair, session, it's already summer again.

That's where, I think, we'll play the wedding.

Yes.

You got lucky with your parents.

Will the bride wait?

Have to wait.

At the Olympics, foreigners will give T-shirts with an Olympic bear.

The mouse is normal.

And when they wash it, the paint will peel off,

and he bares his teeth like a dog.

Clearly, I would like such a T-shirt.

And they also say they will give chewing gum.

And the jeans will be on sale.

“And there are microbes in the seams. — Boys,

Let's make a football team, shall we?

- Clearly. - All sleep!

Boys

Do you remember the story about the stone bugler?

So.

The elders said that she did find that boy.

Who broke the drummer at the gate.

And in the morning

he was found dead.

What are you? Scarecrow got scared, didn't he?

Don't ss, let's go.

Where?

Where where. Rub the girls.

Does the light bother you?

It will interfere.

You must respect the rules of the hostel.

Quietly.

What are you?

Okay, let's go.

Hello guys and welcome.

We are glad to welcome you to the best shift of this year.

On the Olympic shift.

Damn, I really want to see the Olympics, my nose is bleeding.

I would like to introduce our team. - I can't live without the Olympics.

This is the director of our camp,

Kolybalov Nikolai Petrovich.

Be kind.

Behind Kolybalov is the head of the catering department,

our wonderful beauty Leontyeva Anna Sergeevna.

Be kind.

Well, you already know this person

this is the captain of our ship Kapustin Ivan Pavlovich.

Do you know if there is a TV in the camp?

In that year, Stirlitz was played.

So we went to the pensioner - he has his own TV.

Which pensioner?

That's it.

Fizruk, part-time manager,

Zakhvatkin Ruslan Maksimovich.

And finally, Dr. Aibolit of our camp -

This is Nosatov Valentin Sergeevich.

Be kind.

The most important person in our camp -

Serp Ivanovich Ieronov.

It's a civil war veteran

union pensioner.

And over this

our squad is a man with a capital letter

took charge.

To be a match for great deeds.

Hot so that the heart is always.

We will keep the balance firmly

for war and labor veterans.

Please, you have the floor. Please, Serp Ivanovich, you have the floor.

Hello dear guys.

I hope you and I will live together and have fun.

Keep in mind, discipline is very important to me.

I live nearby. You must have seen the house.

You are welcome to visit.

With pleasure I will treat you to tea with sweets and cookies.

I wanted to say that Serp Ivanovich is a participant in the revolution,

and he liberated our city.

Yes, they don't know. - We know.

Do you know who liberated our city?

Chapaev.

- And from whom did you free? - From the whites.

And more precisely?

Interveners.

The interventionists were driven out.

Who said

interventionists?

Two steps forward.

This is what I said.

Well done.

The name of?

Valera.

So, Valera. All this is -

Shikhobalonskiye dachas,

in which the gentlemen used to rest.

On which my brother Matvey and I worked as laborers.

In the 18th, whites came here.

My friends and I decided:

we will help ours to drive the whites out of the village.

— Village boys… — Why are you standing there? Went.

... with bare hands, almost without weapons, they went against the Whites.

It was a fierce battle.

We then lost many comrades.

They brought artillery

to shoot the Red Army ships from the shore.

Matvey!

Matvey!

How are you?

Alive.

Alive.

Everyone was slaughtered.

Only one with a machine gun sat down in the barn.

There was no way to get close to him.

Hey! Here!

So, come on, they took it.

Unfold!

With their own cannon, we put this shooter down.

"Wait!" Wait! - Long live the revolution!

We dreamed of a new life.

in which people will be different

happy

at any price.

We grant Serp Ivanovich the honorary right

raising the flag

Olympic change.

Come with me?

Let's go to. Do not be afraid.

Raise the flag!

In short, pioneers

for an hour a day your field.

Under the personal responsibility of Igor Alexandrovich.

I'll turn my head for broken knees.

- Got it? - Yes. Yeah.

- Got it? - Yes!

Another thing.

Have fun.

Thank you, Ruslan Maksimovich.

- Lead, mustachioed. - Well, what did you get up?

Go ahead, players.

Let's! Pass.

Yes, come on, come on!

- Let me pass. - Come here!

Seromu pas!

Pass, I say!

- Pass, I say! - Pass-pass-pass.

Tityapkin, get out of the way!

Igor.

And with whom did you approve this initiative? What kind of disgrace is this?

With the Committee for Physical Culture and Sports of the Council of Ministers of the USSR.

Football is not on the schedule, Igor.

Finding out the relationship with me is also not on the schedule.

It doesn't bother you.

Igor, you know what...

By the way, we have an Olympic shift.

And you take and put sticks in the wheels of Soviet sports.

- Come on, come on, come on. - I?

Very good.

I, therefore, insert sticks, okay.

Let's go! knock out!

Well, do you two play together?

Leave, then pass!

Why are you just kicking the ball?!

Let's go!

What a mess!

Well, what are you doing?

Fuck off, Levych, let me play.

What did you take?!

What are you attacking with the whole herd ?!

Listen to me and we'll be fine.

And maybe I don't want to be at the gate. I want to score goals.

And I, maybe, also want to attack.

Everyone will take turns.

So, let's now that everything was according to the rules.

The rules are to obey me. I am the captain.

Go to hell, captain.

Pass. Come on, come on, come on!

Pass, come on, come on, here!

Here-here! Wow! I am open.

- Come here. - Come here. Come on, come on.

Don't like football, Lagunov?

I love.

Disappointed in collectivism?

Well, is this a team?

Made friends here with anyone?

I had a best friend, my older brother.

Quarreled?

He died.

What other circles are there?

Where does childhood go?

to which cities.

And where can we find a remedy,

to get there again.

Both winter and summer

expect unprecedented miracles.

There will be childhood somewhere

but not here.

And in white snowdrifts,

and through the puddles by the stream

someone will run

but not me.

Well done!

In general, we must sing "Where does childhood go."

I have a soprano. I will solo.

All others are chorus.

I have to use my powers.

We'll see.

What other proposals will be?

Oh, Veronika Genrikhovna, we have a new one.

You come in. Like it - write to the team.

Can you sing, Lagunov?

I can do everything.

Hey smart girl.

- Lelik, look what a baby doll. — Shalaeva,

did you have something to offer?

Ah, I'm for Shizgar.

Lelik, let's go and show.

Move over.

So, why are we sitting? They clapped.

Three four!

Shizgara,

yu mei mi shizgara.

Well, I'm sorry,

he is a fireman, an air designer.

Well, he's done,

he is a fireman, an air designer.

Great, this is what we take for parent's day.

Why, Veronika Genrikhovna?

Sergushina sings beautifully.

And they just squirm.

Okay, Lagunov.

Everything is decided by the team.

Who liked "Shizgara"?

I'm for Where Childhood Goes.

The team voted, and we already have enough children's songs.

I'm going to a radio engineer, looking for music, and you wait here. Yes?

Haven't you heard teeth crunching for a long time?

We can fix it.

Are you me?

Hand in shit.

Oburel against the team?

Shut your mouth, you'll catch a cold.

What are you, goat?

Did you find your lover? Protector?

You will be responsible for everything.

Face in the toilet. Lelik, grab it!

Stop it!

Shut up!

Well everything

you got it right.

Hello.

Why don't you swim today?

I want to swim. I don't want to - I don't swim.

Is a cigarette a hindrance to sports?

I want - I smoke, I don't want - I don't smoke.

You swim beautifully.

And by the way, I also like to swim.

Well done.

Excuse me, can I sit down?

- Solemn procession ... - Thank you.

... led by athletes ...

You smoke a lot.

Come on, come on, come on.

Hello.

Potapova, tomorrow I won't let you go outside in torn tights.

Tsibastov. I heard a swear word from you.

One more time and I'll have to...

I don't know, write a statement to the police.

- You understood me? - Yeah.

Sleep.

Guys, get it.

Dude, come to bed.

Good night everybody.

Goodnight.

Okay, I don't see anyone, wait.

Where is Khlopov?

Where is Leva?

Do not know.

Mukhin, Domrachev, who am I asking?

I didn't see him all evening.

He didn't feel well.

He was offended by football.

So, I'm not interested in what he was offended by. Where is he now?

Well, did you play football? Satisfied?

Left!

Lion!

Leva Khlopov!

- Left! - Lion!

Left!

Found! Found!

Clap.

You, you... what are you doing? What does it mean?

Should I send you home right away or first a week of work shift?

Understood, sorry, Irina Mikhailovna.

I felt bad and fell asleep.

This will not happen again. Promise.

Honest pioneer.

So.

Everyone, let's go to the hulls. Let's go.

Let's look at our feet. Let's. All-all-all.

Lagunov.

Are you sleeping?

Come out.

Let's talk.

Do not be afraid.

I'm your friend.

Come play football tomorrow.

I'm a real captain now

now everything will work out.

Left,

did you get up at night?

Lagunov, you don't understand jokes?

Oh you bastards, what are you doing, huh?!

I'll kill you completely!

Read!

What am I?

In general, Sasha, I'm not going to watch the Olympics today, okay?

I'm bored.

Come on, come on, come on!

This is a great event for the country.

And I would like us to share this joy together.

Hey you, come here.

You are invited to a conversation.

And you show disrespect.

- It's not pretty. - Well, that's what you need.

One bird chirped me

that you crossed the road for good people.

I do not remember.

So it wasn't.

So good people lie?

The question is what are good.

The question is what is the truth.

Difficult questions.

People have known for a very long time.

Why are you so cheeky?

Who gave you permission to talk to your elders like that, huh?

“I don't feel well. - Yes?

- Yes. - You don't look sick.

Well, go to the doctor.

And revenue.

- All right, bespectacled. — Beckla,

what did you do here?

- Well, he quickly moved away from him. - And what about Beklya then?

I haven't done anything right now.

OK.

See you.

Boys, let's go, let's play cards for the bespectacled man.

- You'll come again ... - Yes, okay ...

Oh, Igor Alexandrovich, come to us.

Hello.

Hello.

Swim, you say, love?

I love.

Yes.

Are there bloodsuckers?

Leeches, mosquitoes, bats?

Did you dream in reality?

No, not a dream. I say dream.

Take the girl away from the groom ...

What other groom?

Please, I beg you, let me go.

And what if Khlopov's doctor begins to check?

They are not like us.

the heart does not beat, the blood does not flow.

Yes, maybe everyone is already infected.

Let's run.

Why do they all listen to you?

They are like dolls on strings.