Kitchen Nightmares (2007–2014): Season 4, Episode 2 - Classic American - full transcript
The Classic American restaurant is out of food, out of cups, out of menus, and nearly out-of-business with almost a million in debt. Can Ramsay help the two well-meaning servers turned owners?
(upbeat music)
- [Gordon] Time's running
out for the Fenwk Arms.
A country pub that thinks
it's Claridges.
Is this pub food?
- No.
- Because I can't quite believe
I'm standing in a
traditional English pub.
This week I'm trying to
help the most stubborn
fruit cake I've ever met.
- I love plates.
- Now where did that
one come from?
Seven days to teach this
old dog some new tricks.
- Just remember we
are the bosses.
- It will take a miracle.
Fucking come and tell me, yeah?
Because I'll smash them
over your fucking head.
(plate breaks)
(discordant music)
(upbeat music)
- The Lune Valley.
A wealthy farming
area in the heart
of the Lancashire countryside.
Home of the hot pot and
the custard tart
and a great location for
a road side pub.
I'm looking for the
Fenwick Arms.
A good old
traditional English pub.
Every day thousands of
punters speed past the pub,
it's slap bang on the busy A683
between Lancaster and
Kirkby Lonsdale.
Pubs are now the nations
favourite place to eat out
and Brian Rey has spent the
last 30 years cooking pub food.
- I don't claim to be God.
I don't claim to be Jesus,
but in my business and in
my kitchen my word is law.
- [Gordon] There's a
mint to be made
if you get pub food right,
but since Brian and his
partner Elaine Howden took over
the Fenwick Arms three years ago
they've been haemorrhaging money
at the rate of 1,500
quid a week.
What's going on there?
One big over grown bush.
Fuck me.
And here is the menu.
Okay.
Shit.
This is?
- Elaine.
- Elaine, nice to see you and?
- Hello, I'm Brian.
- Brian, how are you?
- Oh, I'm fine.
- Good.
- Delighted to meet you.
- Likewise.
Good to see you.
- Very delighted.
- God, it's tight in here,
isn't it?
- [Brian] Yep.
- So where's the, where's
the restaurant?
- The dining area is this way.
- Follow us down then.
- This is supposed to be
a traditional English pub
but it's full of tacky clutter.
And when it comes to
table settings,
Brian's got serious
delusions of grandeur.
God, extraordinary!
(calm music)
Not what I imagined as a pub.
- [Brian] We used to have this
just as a small dining room
with four tables in it.
- [Gordon] God, you look
like you've got the Queen
coming for fucking dinner, no?
Unfortunately no one's
coming for dinner.
But it's not for want of trying.
Brian and Elaine have
thrown everything
at this failing business.
- [Brian] We spend most
of our life down here,
anything between 100 and
120 hours a week down here.
- [Gordon] 120 hours a week?
60 hours each?
- Yes.
- No.
120 each.
- So what days off do you take?
- We don't.
- We don't.
- So you don't take any?
- We had Christmas day
off this year.
- [Gordon] That was
your last day off?
- Yes, and the day before that
was the previous Christmas
and the day before that
would have been
about 18 years ago.
- [Gordon] Jesus.
- I had six days off for
quadruple heart bypass.
- Quadruple heart bypass.
- [Brian] But I was back
at work on the seventh day.
- Fucking hell.
You were back at work
seven days later?
- Yep.
- Yep.
Seven days after the op I
was back working
in the kitchen cooking.
- Are you mad?
- Probably.
- How old are you?
- 62.
- 62.
For Christ's sake.
- [Gordon] Brian is killing
himself over an empty pub.
This place should feel
laid back and lively
but it's got all the formality
and awkwardness of a wake.
It's staid, you know,
the atmosphere
is static and very dreary.
- There's our menu for
this evening.
- Thank you.
- Plus the additions of the day.
Care for a wine list?
Brian calls them additions
rather than specials,
he doesn't like to call
them specials.
- Fuck me.
Christ almighty.
Well it's far from
being a pub menu, is it?
God.
Reg Johnson's corn-fed
Goosnargh duck breast.
Ribble Farm house Savoy
cabbage, rosti potato,
Willington crispy apple
chutney and Calvados jus.
Fuck me.
Brian's trying way too hard
and his list of pompous
sauces is ridiculous.
I mean there's pure merlot
red wine sauce, jus,
Calvados jus, Lancashire
jus, caramelised onions,
tartare, extraordinary.
You walk into a pub and
you expect a steak
and kidney pudding, a
shepherd's pie.
I've ordered the simplest thing
on the menu, a prawn salad,
but Brian doesn't do simple.
We'd like to point out
first and foremost
we're a traditional
old English pub.
Bloody hell.
That's steeped in
tradition there, isn't it?
Let's see if Brian can get
traditional with my main course,
but I'm doubtful.
It's Corcoran Rack of Lamb,
balsamic cherry tomatoes
and one of those
pretentious sauces.
How the fuck do you get in?
How do you get the lamb out?
Not only is this not pub
food, but it's plain awful.
Honestly it was like
chewing a fucking golf ball.
Brian's got a lot to answer for.
This is a pub, isn't it?
- [Brian] Yes.
- And that's what I had
to keep on telling myself.
A traditional old English pub.
So how many pubs
have you been in
that have served up over
reduced syrupy
sickly balsamic vinegar in a
Z shape over a square plate?
- [Brian] Probably none.
- A pub, or pub grub is
the next step up from home.
You know, it's that basic.
Rustic, honest, good
British solid food
and there's nothing
traditional about
what you're doing here.
This is currently running as
a restaurant that is confused,
over the top, I mean
absurd beyond belief.
You're not running a pub,
it feels like you're
running a restaurant badly.
(calm music)
Modern pub food is all about
simple home cooking done well.
I don't think it's going
to be easy persuading Brian
and Elaine that they need
to get back to basics.
How are you feeling?
- Total crap.
It was pretty
devastating last night.
Some of the things, yes, we
could fully accept and take.
- [Gordon] Uh-huh.
- But to be quite honest
the way we felt,
if you have to be like
that to get to the top
I'm glad I'm at the bottom.
- I've got to be
brutally honest,
clearly you don't like
that level of honesty.
I'm not here for confrontation
and, you know, if you're
that devastated
on the back of what you've
been through in this industry
for 30 years, I'm
surprised you're so weak.
After 30 years hard graft,
Brian and Elaine should
be reaping the benefits
but in fact they're
facing bankruptcy
and could be homeless
in three months.
They've got to face facts.
How much are you in debt?
- When we actually sat
down and wrote it down,
tossed it all up,
put everything into it where
you sort of leave things out
so that you don't see it,
we're about a quarter
of a million.
- In debt?
If we had to close tonight?
- [Elaine] Uh-huh.
- The situation at the
Fenwick Arms is desperate.
I need to find out how
Brian runs his kitchen.
Since his heart op, his
memory lets him down
so he sets a timer for
every dish he's cooking.
And that helps you not to
forget when it's ready?
- Well, it's not just that.
It's giving you an awareness
all the time of that
time's fast.
- So how many timers
have you got going on?
- Just one at the moment.
- We've got three going
at the moment.
- Oh three timers, three.
(upbeat music)
- Brian's short term
memory is as awful
as the rich sticky sauce
he's coating every dish.
And this one?
- And that I believe is a
previous scrumpy reduction.
We actually didn't have
a lot of cider.
- So it's a scrumpy reduction
without the scrumpy?
- Appletiser reduction.
- With Appletiser in there?
Appletiser?
Fuck me, I feel sick.
(upbeat music)
I'm starting to realise
that nothing about this
kitchen makes sense.
- Have you got any mash
ready for us, Nathan?
Have you got a bowl for that?
- While Brian runs round
the tiny cramped space
he's paying top whack to his
most experienced chef Nathan
who seems to just put
parsley on everything.
Is this normal or is someone
taking the piss out me?
This is normal?
- This is Normal.
- I've never seen such a chaotic
and inefficient kitchen,
and on top of that there's
Brian's over complicated
and, frankly, ridiculous food.
Stone cold pate, stone
cold lettuce,
piping hot reduced red
wine sauce, parsley.
Hey, you've got a fucking
brain, haven't you?
- I hope so.
- Yeah, yeah.
- I like to think so.
- Is this pub food?
- No.
- Because I can't quite believe
I'm fucking standing in a
traditional English pub.
Brian's already had
five heart attacks
and he's running himself
into the ground,
cooking the wrong food in
the wrong way.
Your kitchen is a disaster zone.
It is fucking impossible
to get food out of there.
Well, I tell you what, big boy.
You may be 62 but fuck me you
don't have to work that hard,
do you know that?
- It would be nice, if I didn't.
- I swear to God
because that must be a
fucking nightmare in there.
(calm music)
The Fenwick Arms in Lancashire
has ideas above its station.
It's a country pub
with aspirations
to be a fancy restaurant.
The dining room is set
for the Queen
and the food is pretentious.
Brian Rey and Elaine Howden
are a quarter of a million
pounds in debt,
but they're still spending.
You've got the set up of a
restaurant, big coffee machine,
espresso, expensive bit
of equipment no?
- Eh, I picked it up
for 400 pound.
- Four hundred quid?
- Yeah.
- You bought it?
- Yeah.
- From where?
- E-bay.
- E-bay?
- Yeah.
- Brian's stuffed his kitchen
with so much second hand
equipment you can't swing a cat.
Let me just squeeze past here.
Thank fuck you're small,
do you know that?
Huh?
- I've said it at times.
- That's what you do, you
look for chef's on E-bay,
look at their size, their
measurements. their weight
then employ them, yes?
(calm music)
Brian's DIY kitchen is a cramped
bodged together disaster zone
held together with
bits of string.
And his hoarding problem
goes much deeper
than I first thought.
- I love plates.
Whereas other people go
and have a holiday
or go out for a meal, I'll save
my pennies and buy a plate.
- Jesus, fuck me.
Look at all those plates
there, wrapped in cling film.
Why are they wrapped
in cling film?
- [Brian] To stay clean.
- To stay clean?
- Yeah.
- Right.
What are these plates used for?
- [Brian] Just some I
bought to play with.
- Some you bought to play with?
- Yeah, I haven't played
with them yet,
just got the chance of
getting them so I got them.
- What are you thinking
of putting in there?
Salad, soup?
- I don't know.
We'll come up with some
dish and use them for that.
- No, no, no, no.
Come on.
You don't serve food in them,
do you?
- Yes, we did.
- Oh no come on,
I wouldn't even put a fucking
dog's dinner in there.
You don't serve food in them?
- We have done in the past.
- No.
Look at the size of it.
- They're big.
- I mean you can go tiling
with that thing, you know that?
We can retile this whole
establishment with these plates.
Just look what we can start
doing, in terms of look,
already starting to look unique,
isn't it?
- [Brian] Yes.
- [Gprdpm] And so you serve
what Chinese dish on this one?
- It wasn't, it was a
Japanese dish.
- Christ almighty.
(plates breaking)
- The tile glue didn't stick.
- [Gordon] Shit.
- It's all right don't
worry, it was chipped anyway.
- Sorry.
Damn, damn, damn, damn,
damn, damn, damn, damn.
Every corner I turn I
discover another
of Brian's stashes
squirrelled away.
Now where did that
one come from?
- I bought that from
Villeroy Boch.
- Fucking hell.
And what's that? You don't
serve food on that, come on.
- [Brian] Yes, we do.
- It's like a fucking
swimming pool for Barbie.
Now we've got one with three
compartments down the side.
- [Brian] We serve the
steak on that.
- You serve the steak on that?
- [Brian] Yeah.
(sighs)
(upbeat music)
- A life time of hoarding
calls for shock treatment.
For the first time ever
we're going to get rid
of that fucking junk.
Before I can even think
about changing the food
I've got to make some space.
Condemned, broken, chipped,
skipped, yeah?
- Yeah.
- This.
Where did you get
this thing from?
- E-bay.
- E-bay?
Tucked away in the
corner Brian's got a huge
disgusting stock pot.
It's the base for all
his revolting sauces.
That's gonna go in the skip.
We don't need to fucking
have the Shiraz, the Merlot,
we don't need it.
That for me is a hazard.
Do we need that hot plate?
- Um, well it's usually a
way of keeping the food hot.
- [Gordon] Brian's been
collecting kitchen equipment
for 30 years.
He's never thrown anything away.
And even with me here to help,
he's finding it difficult.
- Bit of a shock to the system.
It's a hell of a shock
to the system.
- Some of these items
here you're going to keep.
Some of them here
you're going to sell
and some of them you're
going to chuck.
Pin a tag on there.
Left to his own devices
I know Brian would put
all this junk back, so
I'm forcing him to decide
how much of it is actually
essential to running the
kitchen.
- I don't want to get
rid of that.
Yet.
I just want to keep that
top, it's a table top.
I don't want to get rid of that.
- [Gordon] Oh dear,
he's hopeless.
- I'm going to keep them
because I'll have to
find somewhere for them.
- [Gordon] How many
microwaves do you need?
- [Woman] Just keep one or two.
- Three?
What are you doing with
three microwaves?
- One.
- One.
- [Gordon] One and one spare.
- I've been trying to get
rid of some of this rubbish
for two or three years,
but Brian will not part
with anything.
- [Gordon] I'm leaving Elaine
in charge of rebuilding
the kitchen while I make
sure that Brian's junk
has gone for good.
Okay, why do you think
I've brought you here?
- I have no idea.
- You've got no idea?
Well, see that skip
behind there?
That's full of your junk
and I'm really worried the
fact that you're going to put
half that junk back in
your kitchen.
So I've got to get rid
of it once and for all.
Go on get that stock pot away.
We're getting rid of the shit.
Look at it.
Stop hoarding crap.
- I think you've well
and truly made the point.
- The harsh truth is
that 20 rural pubs close
every month and if
Brian and Elaine
don't want to add to that number
they need to start making
some drastic changes.
I've got a huge amount of
respect for fucking Brian.
The guy's 62 years of age,
he's been cooking for 30 years.
He hasn't got a fucking
pot to piss in.
He's working in excess of
a 120 hours a fucking week
in the kitchen.
I'm sorry but for any man
of 62, that can kill you.
Clearing out the junk
was just the beginning.
Before I can start changing
that god awful food
I need to get this
kitchen working properly.
Look at the space you've
here like that.
Hey, we're going to throw
a fucking dance in
here in a minute.
I've got to do
something drastic,
I need to clear out one
final thing from the kitchen.
Brian.
Brian, big night for
you tonight.
Don't be scared of the change.
You're not cooking in the
kitchen tonight.
You are out of the
kitchen for good
and you're more than
capable of running your pub
but not from the kitchen,
as a proper publican, as
a proper host.
- I will do my best.
- [Gordon] Please go
and get changed.
- I will.
- [Gordon] I think this
kitchen's got a better chance
without Brian.
He's got a young but
enthusiastic team of three
chefs,
Nathan, Karen and Chris.
- I know how difficult
Brian is to work with,
that is so fucking obvious,
yeah?
He's gone now, yeah?
He's not running the kitchen
he's running his business.
Show him that you can do it.
It's essential that
the Fenwick Arms
has a friendly couple out front.
- We have to do is keep
holding all the waiting staff.
- [Gordon] But I'm not
convinced Brian
will be up to the job after
30 years behind a stove.
- Good evening.
Did anybody tell you
we've run out of sea bass
and we've only got
one tien left?
Right, anybody any ideas
on what you're looking
for before we run out of
what's left?
- [Gordon] Oh dear.
Not exactly a
polished performance.
Talk to them Brian,
they won't bite.
But it's looking much
more professional
in the kitchen where
Karen has taken charge.
- One coriander, one
steak and kidney,
one duck, one chicken.
- Don't worry about
drizzling the plate,
just sauce the fucking
thing please.
There you go.
Good.
Even with Brian's
complicated menu,
the food is flying out
of the kitchen
just like it should do in a pub.
They're doing a great
job in there.
Now the problem is in
the dining room
and there's no vibrance there.
The atmosphere is
stuffy and formal.
Why on earth is Elaine
pouring the wine?
This is supposed to be a pub.
(upbeat music)
While Brian and Elaine
fuss over their customers,
there are empty tables in
the dining room
and the bar is filling up
with people waiting to eat.
They're never going to make a
profit running it like this.
They need to fill the
tables twice a night.
What's happening in the bar,
everyone's sitting in
there taking orders,
get them straight to the
fucking table.
Get them in that
restaurant, clear the bar.
- Can I pass you some menus?
Are these ladies part
of your party?
- [Gordon] Brian has
got to loosen up
or we'll never speed
up the service.
First of all you guys,
yeah, fucking well done.
I mean really well done.
My problem was in the
dining room.
Your service doesn't
need to be that formal.
If you relax, the
service will relax
and that's not nit picking,
we're a pub.
- [Elaine] Yeah.
- What's wrong with them
carrying their own drinks
through to the table?
- Nothing whatsoever.
- You know yourself when
the atmosphere's not right,
you know it's not
running smoothly.
- Course you do, but
we need to work
on that level of just a pub.
(upbeat music)
- I've only got three days to go
and I've still got to
solve the biggest problem
at the Fenwick Arms,
Brian's food.
What is traditionally
English pub food?
What is it?
- Well I suppose English pub
food is basically scampi,
gammon, sausage, that but
that isn't what I want to be.
- [Gordon] That's
nothing of a sort.
Fuck me, what pubs
have you been in?
- [Brian] Not quite
so many since
I've ended up in one myself.
- It's rustic, simple
English cooking.
Whether it's a bowl of
split pea soup,
whether it's a
Lancashire hot pot,
whether it's steak and chips.
It is simple food.
- And that's where I've
lost my way then.
- [Gordon] It's time I pushed
Brian in the right direction.
See this on here?
Twaddle, yeah?
Absolute horrendous waffle.
I don't want to see the
Madeira sauce,
the citrus mayonnaise,
I don't want to see a
Calvados jus.
No more sauces.
The pub will be serving
great British pub food.
(upbeat music)
I've got to start replacing
some of Brian's dishes
with good home cooking.
- Here you go.
- Yeah.
- [Gordon] What's
wrong with having
Lancashire hot pot on the menu?
- Nothing.
- Nothing at all.
Where are we?
- Lancashire.
- Lancashire.
And so why is that
not on the menu?
I've asked Brian and
Elaine to rewrite the menu
minus the waffle.
- Pan fried duck livers,
just fried duck livers.
- [Elaine] Fish cake.
- [Brian] Just put
down fish cake.
- Potatoes on top.
Lots of potatoes, yeah?
Spread nice, good.
Give it a little twist
to the bottom like that,
that mixes the onions
and the potatoes, yeah,
up on top and in.
What have you done for
the fish cakes?
- [Elaine] Salmon and
haddock fish cake.
- Salmon and haddock fish cake.
- Salmon and haddock fish cake?
- Yep.
- And that's it?
- [Brian] Yep.
- Wow.
Finally we're getting somewhere.
I feel that we're really
starting to fucking understand
what pub means.
Progress at last,
but I don't think
they'll really understand
what a pub is until
they've been to one.
So I'm giving them a night off.
Their first Saturday
night out in 18 years.
Good.
Right, Elaine, Brian,
take the dogs for a walk,
don't worry about the service.
- [Brian] Right.
- When you come back, okay,
get changed, yeah, and
come and have dinner.
When was the last time
you sat in here
on a Saturday night and
watched your staff at work
and enjoyed your dinner?
- Never.
- Never.
- Right, okay.
Off you go.
- Thank you, Gordon.
- See you later.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, see you later.
Right, now one last thing.
You're the only pub in Britain
that's got a fucking uniform,
get changed into your civvies,
see you in five minutes
ready to run the place, yeah?
(calm music)
- There's a good boy.
There's a good boy.
Come on, Elaine.
(dog barks)
- [Gordon] I'm hoping that if
Brian and Elaine experience
a real pub atmosphere they'll
realisz relaxed is best.
So tonight there'll be no fussy
service at the Fenwick Arms.
Good evening.
- Good evening.
- Good evening.
- Welcome to the Fenwick Arms.
How are you?
- Very well, thank you.
- Good, good, good.
You can't come in.
- [Elaine] You too busy?
- No, we're not too busy.
You're not here to
receive an OBE,
you're here to have dinner,
you're dressed too formal.
- So we'll go back again?
- As quick as you can.
- Right, come on.
- Lovely.
- We've never been out
ever not dressed like this.
- Right, come back with
something casual.
(upbeat music)
Welcome to the Fenwick Arms.
Come through, please.
- [Elaine] Thank you.
- Cheers dear.
- Cheers.
- [Gordon] Tonight they'll
be sampling the first
of my new real pub grub,
not a sticky jus in sight.
- [Elaine] It's a rather
nice colour, isn't it?
- [Brian] You want to
taste this pate.
- It's good.
- Yeah that.
That is delightful.
- The food has been a hit.
I hope they've finally
got the message
that they've got nothing to
fear from going back to basics.
You've got to show
flexibility and you can do it.
And getting you out of
this place today
was a breath of fresh air.
Just to relax the place
and the more you can
relax, I swear to god,
you're gonna see your
business grow.
- Last night was a success.
I thought the Fenwick
Arms was back on track,
but this morning I've
discovered Brian
had gone behind my back
and jeopardised
everything we'd been
trying to achieve.
We had a really good
night last night
and the staff worked
fucking exceptionally well.
So after I left Brian
came downstairs
and started being a
cantankerous old bat.
Right, I'm just going
to have a word with him,
in fact both of them because
I'm getting a little bit
fucking pissed off. The
minute my back is turned,
and what was his complaint
to you this morning?
- It was generally that
he doesn't want to see
any of his plates being binned,
he doesn't want anything
being different.
He came round and took all
his knives out.
It was just generally,
this is our business,
this is our home,
things aren't going to changing
as much as everybody thinks.
We're still going to be
doing it our way
and nobody's going to say
any different.
- He's stuck in ways.
- I'm pissed off really.
- [Gordon] Yeah, but
how pissed off are you?
- On a scale of one to ten?
- Yeah.
- I'll give it a good seven.
- Unbelievable.
Two days to go and he
decides to screw it all up.
At 62 years of age it's
becoming really fucking clear
that you can't teach an
old dog new fucking tricks.
(upbeat music)
I'm nearing the end of my
week at the Fenwick Arms
where I'm trying to save
Brian and Elaine
from the jaws of bankruptcy.
But just when I thought
we'd turned the corner,
Brian's gone behind my back
and told his staff he
won't accept my changes.
Now I want to get it
out with you now
because I don't mind going,
I'd rather go and see
my wife today
than sit here and fucking
bang my head against the wall.
If you're not prepared
to accept the changes,
you've got to tell me,
and the nit picking.
Do you know what, you've
got to balance it out
with some confidence and a
little bit of encouragement.
- As I said to them this
morning, right?
Just remember we are the bosses.
- It's not a power struggle,
you are definitely the owners.
Just cut them a little
slack you'll be surprised.
- You know what we're
acting like?
Small children, aren't we?
- Thank you.
They're busting their nuts
off for you right now.
- They're busting their
nuts off for you right now.
- That's not for me,
that's for you because you
pay their fucking salaries.
Not me.
And when you're worried
about your Villeroy Boch
fucking plates that no
one's changing,
fucking and come and tell me,
yeah?
Because I'll smash them
over your fucking head.
He'd better have
listened this time.
I'm only here for two more
days and a bigger concern
is that it's Sunday on
a bank holiday weekend
and the pub is virtually empty.
Sunday lunch normally
this quiet or?
- Sunday lunch is a bit
hit and miss.
Some weeks you can have
quite a few in,
other weeks you can
have maybe six or 10 in.
- Here we are sat at
a quarter two,
25 covers done
and we should be having a
second seating
coming in now for Sunday lunch.
But thank God only
25 five people
are going to eat the
miserable looking roast
they're serving today.
It's coated in yet another
disgusting brown sauce.
Is that Brian's recipe?
- [Chris] Yes.
Yeah.
- It's a revolting
concoction of gravy granules
and reduced red wine.
I may have kicked Brian
out of the kitchen
but unfortunately his
influence still lingers on.
I suppose we could always
retile the roof
with that fucker, can't we?
Look at that, fuck me.
Why is it so dark?
- [Nathan] The red wine.
- But the Yorkshire puddings
are actually pretty impressive.
What a shame they're
going to be ruined
by Brian's disgusting gravy.
Why isn't this place packed
out for a Sunday lunch?
- We don't know.
We just don't know.
We have no idea.
We've tried different menus,
we've had bigger, we've had
shorter, we've tried all sorts.
- Yeah.
Look how busy the
fucking road is.
- Yeah.
- You should be fucking ramming
them in for Sunday lunch.
- [Brian] Yep.
(upbeat music)
- Turnover needs to increase
by at least 2,000 pounds a week.
I think Sunday lunch holds the
key to solving the problem,
but there's only one thing
Brian's gravy is good for.
We're saying goodbye to the
gloop and hello to gravy.
Whee!
Fucking hell.
We've got some tarmac.
Okay?
One thing we're gonna do now
is make a proper gravy, yes?
When was the last time
you made a proper gravy?
- Years ago.
- Years ago?
- Yeah.
- Fresh oil in there, yeah?
And carrots, leeks, celery,
yeah?
- [Nathan] Yes.
- And it's really
important to make the gravy
in the tray the meat
was roasted in.
(upbeat music)
And now stock.
Beef stock, yeah?
Bring that up to the boil.
Right, and when I, when I
pass this through a sieve
I want to see the
bottom of the tray
get nice and clean, yeah?
What happens all the
vegetables start to go through
the sieve so it naturally
thickens the gravy.
Out and look, gravy.
This has given me a
great PR idea
that's going to appeal to
Brian's eccentric personality
and give the Fenwick Arms the
boost it so desperately needs.
That wasn't an overly
busy lunch was it?
- No.
- And we took how much?
- I didn't do a reading.
- 460 something.
- 400 quid, one, two, three,
four, five, six, seven, eight.
Eight of us on, barely
enough to pay the wages.
Barely enough, yeah?
The penny dropped for
me today you know that.
Why can't this place
become famous for gravy?
- [Brian] Brilliant idea.
- Look at these things.
They're amazing.
You've the amazing potential
to have a fantastic
Sunday lunch.
Bring back real gravy.
This place will be
fucking heaving.
- How?
- Yes?
- How?
You go, you get on the streets
and you just announce, okay?
That you've got
a campaign to launch real gravy
at the fucking Fenwick Arms,
yes?
A campaign to launch real gravy.
Hey, it sounds a little
bit fucking dolally,
but why can't you just
turn it around
and get out on the street
with the team, yeah?
- Yes.
- Give us a word.
- Yes, we will launch
the campaign.
(laughs)
(regal music)
- [Gordon] As I hoped.
Brian is well and truly
sold on the campaign.
- Join the campaign
for real gravy.
Join the Fenwick Arms
for real gravy.
- His troops are armed
with Yorkshire puddings
and jugs of gravy,
and we're ready to hit the
streets of Kirkby Lonsdale.
Yorkshire pudding and just
a little bit of gravy there.
- [Brian] Join the
campaign for real gravy.
- Sir?
Real gravy, there we are.
- No more jus's, no
more sauces, real gravy.
No more sets, no
more billie gas,
just real traditional
British gravy.
- Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
- Bollocks to bisto,
bollocks to maggie.
The campaign for real gravy
starts at the Fenwick
Arms Claughton.
The centre of the universe
for real gravy.
- Nice?
- That's very good.
- Happy, good man.
- [All] We want gravy!
We want gravy!
We want gravy!
- Bollocks to Bisto!
- We want gravy!
- We want gravy!
- [Gordon] Great word of
mouth publicity is unbeatable.
And Brian and the team
have done a brilliant job
making damn sure the Fenwick
Arms is the talk of the town.
We want gravy.
- We want gravy,
not just any gravy but
the real gravy.
- [Gordon] We re-launch tomorrow
and when word spreads about
the real gravy. the pub
should be packed out.
- There you are, join
our campaign.
Real gravy.
- It's my last day
and there's still a lot to do
before tonight's re-launch.
First impressions count
so there's no point
launching a big PR campaign
if the place looks a dump
when the punters get here.
Have a look at that sign.
It cheapens the place and it
just sends the wrong messages,
do you know that?
Huh?
And I want to see the
Fenwick Arms
so that banner!, you
know, that's got to go.
and the whole place just needs
sprucing up a little bit.
Jet hose the front and just
get it nice and vibrant.
(upbeat music)
While the front of house
team spruce up the exterior,
I've suggested to Brian
that he gets back on E-bay
and starts selling off his
huge crockery collection.
- I've got ten of those
and they're starting off
at 46 quid each.
- [Gordon] I may have
done the impossible
and got Brian selling his plates
but I've got a feeling
he won't find staying out
of the kitchen so easy.
I need Elaine to keep an
eye on him when I'm gone.
There's one person that
can make sure
that he doesn't go back
to his old ways, is you.
- Yeah, I shall remind him.
I think he'll listen.
- You've got to keep
him out of that kitchen.
You cannot let him
back in there.
- I just think he was
frightened of being--
- [Gordon] Jobless.
- [Elaine] Just put on the
shelf and forgotten about.
And he didn't want to
feel as though
they could manage without
him even though he knew that.
It's the same with me.
- But he's got that
competition streak in him.
He's 62 though.
He doesn't need to be that
competitive with his staff.
- No, he doesn't, but you
can see the passion he's had.
- Oh god, 30 years?
Yeah, easily.
Like I said there's not many
that have lasted that long.
But it's about time he started
to enjoy it a little bit, no?
(upbeat music)
Tonight we're re-launching
the Fenwick Arms
as a great British pub.
The real gravy campaign
has done the trick
and bookings have been
pouring in all day.
- Good afternoon Fenwick Arms?
- [Gordon] On a normal
Tuesday night
Brian and Elaine would be
lucky to get 20 customers
but there's already 88 booked
in for tonight's re launch.
- Eight o'clock?
Yeah, we could do it maybe
going on towards half past.
- In the kitchen I've
put together a new menu
of no nonsense tasty
British pub favourites.
There's hearty pea and ham soup.
And the all time classic,
simple prawn cocktail.
A few prawns in the middle.
What's the secret of a
prawn cocktail?
- Good prawns?
- Good prawns,
lovely Marie Rose sauce
and a little bit of apple.
The apple and the lettuce, yeah,
just really make it
nice and zesty.
All these dishes use
great ingredients,
prepared simply and
presented without fuss.
Just like this
pressed ham terrine.
When you think about something
like a pub, it's rustic,
so keep the food rustic, yeah?
So in terms of presentation
dots and fucking bits and bobs,
get it on there, that's
it end of story.
All the chefs have
impressed me this week,
but I think Karen's got the
maturity to run the kitchen.
So you're going to
take the reins?
- Yep.
- You are, yeah?
- Yeah, definitely.
- And what happens if he
starts to change things again?
What are you going to do?
- Put my foot down.
Oi, no way.
- You'll put your foot down?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
- Be tough.
- [Gordon] It's time to
show Brian and Elaine
their new menu.
I've replaced their
complicated fussy food
with 25 classic pub dishes.
Surprise, surprise.
Simple straightforward honest
British pub food, yeah?
And nothing too quirky.
- I'm well impressed.
- Roast rib of beef,
stunning Yorkshire puddings,
jug of gravy.
Fish and chips.
Beautiful sausage and mash,
Lancashire Hot Pot and apple
and blackberry crumble.
- I'm proud of what I can see.
- The secret behind
this menu here
and being completely traditional
in terms of pub food
is just the speed it can
fly out at, yeah?
With two sittings in
the dining room
the chefs will be
under pressure.
But it's Brian and
Elaine I'm worried about.
If they can't relax and
speed up the service,
we'll be screwed.
- Do we say our prayers now?
- I'm shaking like a
leaf inside.
I don't know whether I'm on
this planet the next planet,
but I'm definitely on a
traditional pub planet.
(upbeat music)
- [Gordon] He'd better be.
The pub is packed out tonight
but if Brian and Elaine
are going to start paying
off their huge debt,
this can't be a one off.
16 minutes from the starter
to the main course, go.
Two roast beef.
Just keep it like this,
first table,
keep it like this.
- Yep.
(upbeat music)
- Lasso, here we go.
Lose those cobwebs.
For the first time ever
they're aiming to fill
the dining room twice over,
so they can't waste
time pouring wine
or gravy for the
customers tonight.
- Mr. Foster, yes, you've got
him on table four, Elaine.
- Oh, he needs to be on three,
sorry.
- Did you wait long?
- No.
- No?
- Five minutes?
- Five minutes, perfect.
Gravy you're happy with?
- Gravy and Yorkshire
pudding's are sensational.
- Fantastic.
So far so good.
The kitchen seems to be
coping well under pressure.
Nathan, just be careful,
all these main courses are
flying out now, desserts next.
Right, how many have you done?
- [Karen] I think there's
about 40, so maybe a bit more.
- We're on about 45,
just going to 50, yeah?
Over half way, yeah, keep
it going, yeah?
But out front there's a
disaster waiting to happen.
It's 8:30 and they're
slipping into old habits,
the bar is full of people
waiting to be seated.
Brian and Elaine haven't
got the first customers off
the tables yet.
Brian, we've got a bit
of queue forming, yeah?
Can we sit some of
the guests down?
- Yes, we're just trying
to get them to move
the tables to sit them down.
- If they don't move
tell me, I'll move them.
- I'll get somebody to bring
the bill for you, thanks.
- We've got to get them
out of these tables now,
you know that, so we
got to be firm now, yes?
- Yep.
- Are we finding it hard
to transition?
It's not a
restaurant it's a pub.
So don't be scared after
one hour 55 minutes,
would you mind taking
coffee in the bar
or come and have a
drink at the bar.
Change those tables.
- Yep.
- If you don't do that
in the next 15 minutes
we are going to be in
the fucking shit.
- Have you got a bill for table,
that one,
whichever one it is?
- It's been touch and go
but at last the second
sitting have their tables.
That's the hardest thing
right now, isn't it?
Turn them round, and
for the first time ever
it's starting to run like a pub.
The Fenwick Arms is buzzing.
The real gravy is
being lapped up
and traditional pub food
has hit the spot.
- I had roast beef and it
was so gorgeous,
with real gravy on it.
- [Gordon] Nice.
Lovely.
If Brian and Elaine can
keep up the pace,
they might just pull this off.
- I mean, hell, it's a
lot of excitement.
The adrenalin is absolutely
pounding through me.
Evening all.
Everything fine?
Evening.
Everything's fine?
- [Gordon] It's been
a huge success
and finally the penny's
dropped for Brian.
He's realised that the kitchen
runs better without him.
- I think the team have just
been unbloody believable.
They've done it.
I've not been there.
I've not had to come in
and where's this,
where's that, where's the other.
And I am just so
proud of them all.
Wow, what a night.
- At times this week I seriously
doubted it was possible,
but tonight the Fenwick
Arms has been transformed
from a stuffy dining room
into a vibrant packed pub.
How much money did we take?
- The till.
- Yep.
- Tells me we've done
2,247 pounds.
- [Gordon] Yes, get in there.
(all applaud)
- Fantastic.
- 2,000 pounds more
than last Sunday lunch.
- Yep.
- [Gordon] Brian what
does that tell you?
- That changing the menu and
doing it simpler has worked.
- Yeah.
Well, since I've been here
that was the first night
I witnessed all of you
running a pub
and I'm not going to
come back to what I came
and saw a week ago, yes?
- [Brian] No, you're not.
- No, no chef whites.
No knife rack.
- Nope.
- Nowhere near it?
- No.
- No.
There was one, one little
problem I found a Barbie plate.
Please, Eddie, wrap it
up in clingfilm,
dig a hole and hide it, yes?
Promise me?
- Yes.
- Good man, go.
(glass breaks)
Oh no!
Eddie!
(calm music)
A month ago I left Brian and
Elaine running a busy pub.
I'm dying to find out
if they've kept it up.
I'm on my way back to surprise
them for Sunday lunch.
The car park's looking full.
Always a good sign.
And the last Sunday I was here
they struggled to
serve 22 people.
Good, the campaign for
real gravy is still there.
Menu, we can notice
it this time.
- Good evening.
- Good evening, afternoon,
hello, how are you?
- [Woman] Fine thank
you and yourself?
- Yes, very well thank you.
Where's Brian?
- In the kitchen.
- In the kitchen.
- He's where?
- In the kitchen.
- In the kitchen?
- With Elaine.
- What in the fuck is going on?
What in the fuck are you
doing in here?
Hello.
- Hello.
I thought you were doing
the great northern run.
- [Gordon] What are you
doing dressed in those?
- Working.
- Why?
- Because I haven't got
anybody else.
- [Gordon] Oh for god's sake,
Karen.
- It's Chris's day off
today, so I'm on my own.
- It turns out just one
week after I left,
Brian was back in the kitchen
and Nathan left to go
back to college.
Oh fuck me!
Brian?
- Yes, Gordon.
- I cannot believe,
I've just found you back
in the kitchen.
- I couldn't get any staff and
we're just trying to recruit
to replace the one who went.
- Bloody hell.
What else is back?
Truthfully before I start
rummaging around
and looking for it.
- Some of the plates.
- Oh no!
- Yep.
Some of the plates.
That was--
- Oh no!
Why?
- Because what you taught us
was listen to your customer.
- Oh here we go.
- So we did.
- So your customers were saying
bring back square plates?
- No, what they wanted
was the wow factor
on the food again.
That's what they wanted.
- What do you mean the
wow factor on the food?
It's a pub, Brian.
- Yes, but--
- If you're starting to
become a restaurant slowly,
within a month you're
destined for trouble.
- We went a little way
down the road
but kept the menu
basically along the lines
of what you were saying.
- Prawn cocktail's
still on there.
- Yes.
- Yep, we've changed that.
- You've changed that?
- Yeah, we've done the prawns.
- It's not in a wine glass.
- It's not a wine glass.
- [Gordon] No?
- We've done it the way
that we've always done it.
- [Gordon] Go on.
- And it sells
exceptionally well.
- Oh here we go.
How did you used to
serve the prawn cocktail
before I put it in a glass,
remind me?
- Scallop shell with it on.
- Oh for fuck's sake.
- Scallop shell, but it sells
and the customers like it.
- Brian, Brian.
- Yep?
- Prawns don't live inside
scallop shells.
- No, but they don't live
inside glasses either.
- Oh fucks sake.
Oh fuck me.
Fucking hell.
(upbeat music)
The good news is that thanks
to the real gravy campaign,
just one month, Sunday
lunch takings
have doubled and the overall
turnover is up by 30%.
I'll start with a prawn cocktail
in a scallop shell, please.
Yeah, they haven't got
mashed potato piped round
the outside have they?
- Yes.
- Oh fucking hell.
So this is Brian's wow factor.
He really is a stubborn old bat.
Fuck me, prawn cocktail.
Fuck it I'll do it myself.
That's how I expect to see
a prawn cocktail in a pub.
Brian is making an incredible
250 litres of gravy a week
and I'm not surprised people
are flocking for this roast.
- My god, look at the size of
the portions, extraordinary.
Nice gravy,
and nothing farted around
with, do you know what I mean?
Lovely.
Mm.
I don't think there's a beef
or a Yorkshire pudding anywhere
in the country today
that could have matched what
you served me for lunch.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- [Gordon] Don't piss around
with it, you don't need to.
And whilst I'm
slightly concerned
that you're back in the kitchen,
I hope it's for a
temporary time only.
- It is.
- Because if I talk to this lady
in six months time, god forbid,
and you've popped your
fucking clogs in there
on that stove, I'll be
fucking furious.
Get out of there, run
your pub not your kitchen.
Please.
- I will and I'm
absolutely confident
that the way that you
have set us up,
the way the menu is set
up is going to work.
- Look at me and tell me,
will you let go?
- Yes.
- Because if you do let
go there's every chance
this is going to work,
you know that?
(upbeat music)
Brian is full of surprises.
He's got a new reason to
log onto his computer.
He's running a campaign
for real gravy website.
- September.
34,500 hits.
- In one month?
- In one month.
- 34,500?
- Yeah.
- It's fucking fantastic.
- Yeah.
- 34,500 people logging
on to find out more
about the Fenwick Arms.
Do me a favour now, start
thinking about your next
campaign,
and I know what it should be.
Campaign for a real
prawn cocktail.
- Now you're taking the piss,.
- I'm not taking the piss.
You were taking the
piss serving it
in a fucking scallop shell.
Good luck.
- Thanks very much, Gordon.
- Good night, take care.
- Bye.
- Fucking hell.
Scallop shells in a
prawn cocktail.
Fucking hell.
(shells rattling)
Fucking hell.
30 years.
(engine revs)
(upbeat music)
- [Gordon] Time's running
out for the Fenwk Arms.
A country pub that thinks
it's Claridges.
Is this pub food?
- No.
- Because I can't quite believe
I'm standing in a
traditional English pub.
This week I'm trying to
help the most stubborn
fruit cake I've ever met.
- I love plates.
- Now where did that
one come from?
Seven days to teach this
old dog some new tricks.
- Just remember we
are the bosses.
- It will take a miracle.
Fucking come and tell me, yeah?
Because I'll smash them
over your fucking head.
(plate breaks)
(discordant music)
(upbeat music)
- The Lune Valley.
A wealthy farming
area in the heart
of the Lancashire countryside.
Home of the hot pot and
the custard tart
and a great location for
a road side pub.
I'm looking for the
Fenwick Arms.
A good old
traditional English pub.
Every day thousands of
punters speed past the pub,
it's slap bang on the busy A683
between Lancaster and
Kirkby Lonsdale.
Pubs are now the nations
favourite place to eat out
and Brian Rey has spent the
last 30 years cooking pub food.
- I don't claim to be God.
I don't claim to be Jesus,
but in my business and in
my kitchen my word is law.
- [Gordon] There's a
mint to be made
if you get pub food right,
but since Brian and his
partner Elaine Howden took over
the Fenwick Arms three years ago
they've been haemorrhaging money
at the rate of 1,500
quid a week.
What's going on there?
One big over grown bush.
Fuck me.
And here is the menu.
Okay.
Shit.
This is?
- Elaine.
- Elaine, nice to see you and?
- Hello, I'm Brian.
- Brian, how are you?
- Oh, I'm fine.
- Good.
- Delighted to meet you.
- Likewise.
Good to see you.
- Very delighted.
- God, it's tight in here,
isn't it?
- [Brian] Yep.
- So where's the, where's
the restaurant?
- The dining area is this way.
- Follow us down then.
- This is supposed to be
a traditional English pub
but it's full of tacky clutter.
And when it comes to
table settings,
Brian's got serious
delusions of grandeur.
God, extraordinary!
(calm music)
Not what I imagined as a pub.
- [Brian] We used to have this
just as a small dining room
with four tables in it.
- [Gordon] God, you look
like you've got the Queen
coming for fucking dinner, no?
Unfortunately no one's
coming for dinner.
But it's not for want of trying.
Brian and Elaine have
thrown everything
at this failing business.
- [Brian] We spend most
of our life down here,
anything between 100 and
120 hours a week down here.
- [Gordon] 120 hours a week?
60 hours each?
- Yes.
- No.
120 each.
- So what days off do you take?
- We don't.
- We don't.
- So you don't take any?
- We had Christmas day
off this year.
- [Gordon] That was
your last day off?
- Yes, and the day before that
was the previous Christmas
and the day before that
would have been
about 18 years ago.
- [Gordon] Jesus.
- I had six days off for
quadruple heart bypass.
- Quadruple heart bypass.
- [Brian] But I was back
at work on the seventh day.
- Fucking hell.
You were back at work
seven days later?
- Yep.
- Yep.
Seven days after the op I
was back working
in the kitchen cooking.
- Are you mad?
- Probably.
- How old are you?
- 62.
- 62.
For Christ's sake.
- [Gordon] Brian is killing
himself over an empty pub.
This place should feel
laid back and lively
but it's got all the formality
and awkwardness of a wake.
It's staid, you know,
the atmosphere
is static and very dreary.
- There's our menu for
this evening.
- Thank you.
- Plus the additions of the day.
Care for a wine list?
Brian calls them additions
rather than specials,
he doesn't like to call
them specials.
- Fuck me.
Christ almighty.
Well it's far from
being a pub menu, is it?
God.
Reg Johnson's corn-fed
Goosnargh duck breast.
Ribble Farm house Savoy
cabbage, rosti potato,
Willington crispy apple
chutney and Calvados jus.
Fuck me.
Brian's trying way too hard
and his list of pompous
sauces is ridiculous.
I mean there's pure merlot
red wine sauce, jus,
Calvados jus, Lancashire
jus, caramelised onions,
tartare, extraordinary.
You walk into a pub and
you expect a steak
and kidney pudding, a
shepherd's pie.
I've ordered the simplest thing
on the menu, a prawn salad,
but Brian doesn't do simple.
We'd like to point out
first and foremost
we're a traditional
old English pub.
Bloody hell.
That's steeped in
tradition there, isn't it?
Let's see if Brian can get
traditional with my main course,
but I'm doubtful.
It's Corcoran Rack of Lamb,
balsamic cherry tomatoes
and one of those
pretentious sauces.
How the fuck do you get in?
How do you get the lamb out?
Not only is this not pub
food, but it's plain awful.
Honestly it was like
chewing a fucking golf ball.
Brian's got a lot to answer for.
This is a pub, isn't it?
- [Brian] Yes.
- And that's what I had
to keep on telling myself.
A traditional old English pub.
So how many pubs
have you been in
that have served up over
reduced syrupy
sickly balsamic vinegar in a
Z shape over a square plate?
- [Brian] Probably none.
- A pub, or pub grub is
the next step up from home.
You know, it's that basic.
Rustic, honest, good
British solid food
and there's nothing
traditional about
what you're doing here.
This is currently running as
a restaurant that is confused,
over the top, I mean
absurd beyond belief.
You're not running a pub,
it feels like you're
running a restaurant badly.
(calm music)
Modern pub food is all about
simple home cooking done well.
I don't think it's going
to be easy persuading Brian
and Elaine that they need
to get back to basics.
How are you feeling?
- Total crap.
It was pretty
devastating last night.
Some of the things, yes, we
could fully accept and take.
- [Gordon] Uh-huh.
- But to be quite honest
the way we felt,
if you have to be like
that to get to the top
I'm glad I'm at the bottom.
- I've got to be
brutally honest,
clearly you don't like
that level of honesty.
I'm not here for confrontation
and, you know, if you're
that devastated
on the back of what you've
been through in this industry
for 30 years, I'm
surprised you're so weak.
After 30 years hard graft,
Brian and Elaine should
be reaping the benefits
but in fact they're
facing bankruptcy
and could be homeless
in three months.
They've got to face facts.
How much are you in debt?
- When we actually sat
down and wrote it down,
tossed it all up,
put everything into it where
you sort of leave things out
so that you don't see it,
we're about a quarter
of a million.
- In debt?
If we had to close tonight?
- [Elaine] Uh-huh.
- The situation at the
Fenwick Arms is desperate.
I need to find out how
Brian runs his kitchen.
Since his heart op, his
memory lets him down
so he sets a timer for
every dish he's cooking.
And that helps you not to
forget when it's ready?
- Well, it's not just that.
It's giving you an awareness
all the time of that
time's fast.
- So how many timers
have you got going on?
- Just one at the moment.
- We've got three going
at the moment.
- Oh three timers, three.
(upbeat music)
- Brian's short term
memory is as awful
as the rich sticky sauce
he's coating every dish.
And this one?
- And that I believe is a
previous scrumpy reduction.
We actually didn't have
a lot of cider.
- So it's a scrumpy reduction
without the scrumpy?
- Appletiser reduction.
- With Appletiser in there?
Appletiser?
Fuck me, I feel sick.
(upbeat music)
I'm starting to realise
that nothing about this
kitchen makes sense.
- Have you got any mash
ready for us, Nathan?
Have you got a bowl for that?
- While Brian runs round
the tiny cramped space
he's paying top whack to his
most experienced chef Nathan
who seems to just put
parsley on everything.
Is this normal or is someone
taking the piss out me?
This is normal?
- This is Normal.
- I've never seen such a chaotic
and inefficient kitchen,
and on top of that there's
Brian's over complicated
and, frankly, ridiculous food.
Stone cold pate, stone
cold lettuce,
piping hot reduced red
wine sauce, parsley.
Hey, you've got a fucking
brain, haven't you?
- I hope so.
- Yeah, yeah.
- I like to think so.
- Is this pub food?
- No.
- Because I can't quite believe
I'm fucking standing in a
traditional English pub.
Brian's already had
five heart attacks
and he's running himself
into the ground,
cooking the wrong food in
the wrong way.
Your kitchen is a disaster zone.
It is fucking impossible
to get food out of there.
Well, I tell you what, big boy.
You may be 62 but fuck me you
don't have to work that hard,
do you know that?
- It would be nice, if I didn't.
- I swear to God
because that must be a
fucking nightmare in there.
(calm music)
The Fenwick Arms in Lancashire
has ideas above its station.
It's a country pub
with aspirations
to be a fancy restaurant.
The dining room is set
for the Queen
and the food is pretentious.
Brian Rey and Elaine Howden
are a quarter of a million
pounds in debt,
but they're still spending.
You've got the set up of a
restaurant, big coffee machine,
espresso, expensive bit
of equipment no?
- Eh, I picked it up
for 400 pound.
- Four hundred quid?
- Yeah.
- You bought it?
- Yeah.
- From where?
- E-bay.
- E-bay?
- Yeah.
- Brian's stuffed his kitchen
with so much second hand
equipment you can't swing a cat.
Let me just squeeze past here.
Thank fuck you're small,
do you know that?
Huh?
- I've said it at times.
- That's what you do, you
look for chef's on E-bay,
look at their size, their
measurements. their weight
then employ them, yes?
(calm music)
Brian's DIY kitchen is a cramped
bodged together disaster zone
held together with
bits of string.
And his hoarding problem
goes much deeper
than I first thought.
- I love plates.
Whereas other people go
and have a holiday
or go out for a meal, I'll save
my pennies and buy a plate.
- Jesus, fuck me.
Look at all those plates
there, wrapped in cling film.
Why are they wrapped
in cling film?
- [Brian] To stay clean.
- To stay clean?
- Yeah.
- Right.
What are these plates used for?
- [Brian] Just some I
bought to play with.
- Some you bought to play with?
- Yeah, I haven't played
with them yet,
just got the chance of
getting them so I got them.
- What are you thinking
of putting in there?
Salad, soup?
- I don't know.
We'll come up with some
dish and use them for that.
- No, no, no, no.
Come on.
You don't serve food in them,
do you?
- Yes, we did.
- Oh no come on,
I wouldn't even put a fucking
dog's dinner in there.
You don't serve food in them?
- We have done in the past.
- No.
Look at the size of it.
- They're big.
- I mean you can go tiling
with that thing, you know that?
We can retile this whole
establishment with these plates.
Just look what we can start
doing, in terms of look,
already starting to look unique,
isn't it?
- [Brian] Yes.
- [Gprdpm] And so you serve
what Chinese dish on this one?
- It wasn't, it was a
Japanese dish.
- Christ almighty.
(plates breaking)
- The tile glue didn't stick.
- [Gordon] Shit.
- It's all right don't
worry, it was chipped anyway.
- Sorry.
Damn, damn, damn, damn,
damn, damn, damn, damn.
Every corner I turn I
discover another
of Brian's stashes
squirrelled away.
Now where did that
one come from?
- I bought that from
Villeroy Boch.
- Fucking hell.
And what's that? You don't
serve food on that, come on.
- [Brian] Yes, we do.
- It's like a fucking
swimming pool for Barbie.
Now we've got one with three
compartments down the side.
- [Brian] We serve the
steak on that.
- You serve the steak on that?
- [Brian] Yeah.
(sighs)
(upbeat music)
- A life time of hoarding
calls for shock treatment.
For the first time ever
we're going to get rid
of that fucking junk.
Before I can even think
about changing the food
I've got to make some space.
Condemned, broken, chipped,
skipped, yeah?
- Yeah.
- This.
Where did you get
this thing from?
- E-bay.
- E-bay?
Tucked away in the
corner Brian's got a huge
disgusting stock pot.
It's the base for all
his revolting sauces.
That's gonna go in the skip.
We don't need to fucking
have the Shiraz, the Merlot,
we don't need it.
That for me is a hazard.
Do we need that hot plate?
- Um, well it's usually a
way of keeping the food hot.
- [Gordon] Brian's been
collecting kitchen equipment
for 30 years.
He's never thrown anything away.
And even with me here to help,
he's finding it difficult.
- Bit of a shock to the system.
It's a hell of a shock
to the system.
- Some of these items
here you're going to keep.
Some of them here
you're going to sell
and some of them you're
going to chuck.
Pin a tag on there.
Left to his own devices
I know Brian would put
all this junk back, so
I'm forcing him to decide
how much of it is actually
essential to running the
kitchen.
- I don't want to get
rid of that.
Yet.
I just want to keep that
top, it's a table top.
I don't want to get rid of that.
- [Gordon] Oh dear,
he's hopeless.
- I'm going to keep them
because I'll have to
find somewhere for them.
- [Gordon] How many
microwaves do you need?
- [Woman] Just keep one or two.
- Three?
What are you doing with
three microwaves?
- One.
- One.
- [Gordon] One and one spare.
- I've been trying to get
rid of some of this rubbish
for two or three years,
but Brian will not part
with anything.
- [Gordon] I'm leaving Elaine
in charge of rebuilding
the kitchen while I make
sure that Brian's junk
has gone for good.
Okay, why do you think
I've brought you here?
- I have no idea.
- You've got no idea?
Well, see that skip
behind there?
That's full of your junk
and I'm really worried the
fact that you're going to put
half that junk back in
your kitchen.
So I've got to get rid
of it once and for all.
Go on get that stock pot away.
We're getting rid of the shit.
Look at it.
Stop hoarding crap.
- I think you've well
and truly made the point.
- The harsh truth is
that 20 rural pubs close
every month and if
Brian and Elaine
don't want to add to that number
they need to start making
some drastic changes.
I've got a huge amount of
respect for fucking Brian.
The guy's 62 years of age,
he's been cooking for 30 years.
He hasn't got a fucking
pot to piss in.
He's working in excess of
a 120 hours a fucking week
in the kitchen.
I'm sorry but for any man
of 62, that can kill you.
Clearing out the junk
was just the beginning.
Before I can start changing
that god awful food
I need to get this
kitchen working properly.
Look at the space you've
here like that.
Hey, we're going to throw
a fucking dance in
here in a minute.
I've got to do
something drastic,
I need to clear out one
final thing from the kitchen.
Brian.
Brian, big night for
you tonight.
Don't be scared of the change.
You're not cooking in the
kitchen tonight.
You are out of the
kitchen for good
and you're more than
capable of running your pub
but not from the kitchen,
as a proper publican, as
a proper host.
- I will do my best.
- [Gordon] Please go
and get changed.
- I will.
- [Gordon] I think this
kitchen's got a better chance
without Brian.
He's got a young but
enthusiastic team of three
chefs,
Nathan, Karen and Chris.
- I know how difficult
Brian is to work with,
that is so fucking obvious,
yeah?
He's gone now, yeah?
He's not running the kitchen
he's running his business.
Show him that you can do it.
It's essential that
the Fenwick Arms
has a friendly couple out front.
- We have to do is keep
holding all the waiting staff.
- [Gordon] But I'm not
convinced Brian
will be up to the job after
30 years behind a stove.
- Good evening.
Did anybody tell you
we've run out of sea bass
and we've only got
one tien left?
Right, anybody any ideas
on what you're looking
for before we run out of
what's left?
- [Gordon] Oh dear.
Not exactly a
polished performance.
Talk to them Brian,
they won't bite.
But it's looking much
more professional
in the kitchen where
Karen has taken charge.
- One coriander, one
steak and kidney,
one duck, one chicken.
- Don't worry about
drizzling the plate,
just sauce the fucking
thing please.
There you go.
Good.
Even with Brian's
complicated menu,
the food is flying out
of the kitchen
just like it should do in a pub.
They're doing a great
job in there.
Now the problem is in
the dining room
and there's no vibrance there.
The atmosphere is
stuffy and formal.
Why on earth is Elaine
pouring the wine?
This is supposed to be a pub.
(upbeat music)
While Brian and Elaine
fuss over their customers,
there are empty tables in
the dining room
and the bar is filling up
with people waiting to eat.
They're never going to make a
profit running it like this.
They need to fill the
tables twice a night.
What's happening in the bar,
everyone's sitting in
there taking orders,
get them straight to the
fucking table.
Get them in that
restaurant, clear the bar.
- Can I pass you some menus?
Are these ladies part
of your party?
- [Gordon] Brian has
got to loosen up
or we'll never speed
up the service.
First of all you guys,
yeah, fucking well done.
I mean really well done.
My problem was in the
dining room.
Your service doesn't
need to be that formal.
If you relax, the
service will relax
and that's not nit picking,
we're a pub.
- [Elaine] Yeah.
- What's wrong with them
carrying their own drinks
through to the table?
- Nothing whatsoever.
- You know yourself when
the atmosphere's not right,
you know it's not
running smoothly.
- Course you do, but
we need to work
on that level of just a pub.
(upbeat music)
- I've only got three days to go
and I've still got to
solve the biggest problem
at the Fenwick Arms,
Brian's food.
What is traditionally
English pub food?
What is it?
- Well I suppose English pub
food is basically scampi,
gammon, sausage, that but
that isn't what I want to be.
- [Gordon] That's
nothing of a sort.
Fuck me, what pubs
have you been in?
- [Brian] Not quite
so many since
I've ended up in one myself.
- It's rustic, simple
English cooking.
Whether it's a bowl of
split pea soup,
whether it's a
Lancashire hot pot,
whether it's steak and chips.
It is simple food.
- And that's where I've
lost my way then.
- [Gordon] It's time I pushed
Brian in the right direction.
See this on here?
Twaddle, yeah?
Absolute horrendous waffle.
I don't want to see the
Madeira sauce,
the citrus mayonnaise,
I don't want to see a
Calvados jus.
No more sauces.
The pub will be serving
great British pub food.
(upbeat music)
I've got to start replacing
some of Brian's dishes
with good home cooking.
- Here you go.
- Yeah.
- [Gordon] What's
wrong with having
Lancashire hot pot on the menu?
- Nothing.
- Nothing at all.
Where are we?
- Lancashire.
- Lancashire.
And so why is that
not on the menu?
I've asked Brian and
Elaine to rewrite the menu
minus the waffle.
- Pan fried duck livers,
just fried duck livers.
- [Elaine] Fish cake.
- [Brian] Just put
down fish cake.
- Potatoes on top.
Lots of potatoes, yeah?
Spread nice, good.
Give it a little twist
to the bottom like that,
that mixes the onions
and the potatoes, yeah,
up on top and in.
What have you done for
the fish cakes?
- [Elaine] Salmon and
haddock fish cake.
- Salmon and haddock fish cake.
- Salmon and haddock fish cake?
- Yep.
- And that's it?
- [Brian] Yep.
- Wow.
Finally we're getting somewhere.
I feel that we're really
starting to fucking understand
what pub means.
Progress at last,
but I don't think
they'll really understand
what a pub is until
they've been to one.
So I'm giving them a night off.
Their first Saturday
night out in 18 years.
Good.
Right, Elaine, Brian,
take the dogs for a walk,
don't worry about the service.
- [Brian] Right.
- When you come back, okay,
get changed, yeah, and
come and have dinner.
When was the last time
you sat in here
on a Saturday night and
watched your staff at work
and enjoyed your dinner?
- Never.
- Never.
- Right, okay.
Off you go.
- Thank you, Gordon.
- See you later.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, see you later.
Right, now one last thing.
You're the only pub in Britain
that's got a fucking uniform,
get changed into your civvies,
see you in five minutes
ready to run the place, yeah?
(calm music)
- There's a good boy.
There's a good boy.
Come on, Elaine.
(dog barks)
- [Gordon] I'm hoping that if
Brian and Elaine experience
a real pub atmosphere they'll
realisz relaxed is best.
So tonight there'll be no fussy
service at the Fenwick Arms.
Good evening.
- Good evening.
- Good evening.
- Welcome to the Fenwick Arms.
How are you?
- Very well, thank you.
- Good, good, good.
You can't come in.
- [Elaine] You too busy?
- No, we're not too busy.
You're not here to
receive an OBE,
you're here to have dinner,
you're dressed too formal.
- So we'll go back again?
- As quick as you can.
- Right, come on.
- Lovely.
- We've never been out
ever not dressed like this.
- Right, come back with
something casual.
(upbeat music)
Welcome to the Fenwick Arms.
Come through, please.
- [Elaine] Thank you.
- Cheers dear.
- Cheers.
- [Gordon] Tonight they'll
be sampling the first
of my new real pub grub,
not a sticky jus in sight.
- [Elaine] It's a rather
nice colour, isn't it?
- [Brian] You want to
taste this pate.
- It's good.
- Yeah that.
That is delightful.
- The food has been a hit.
I hope they've finally
got the message
that they've got nothing to
fear from going back to basics.
You've got to show
flexibility and you can do it.
And getting you out of
this place today
was a breath of fresh air.
Just to relax the place
and the more you can
relax, I swear to god,
you're gonna see your
business grow.
- Last night was a success.
I thought the Fenwick
Arms was back on track,
but this morning I've
discovered Brian
had gone behind my back
and jeopardised
everything we'd been
trying to achieve.
We had a really good
night last night
and the staff worked
fucking exceptionally well.
So after I left Brian
came downstairs
and started being a
cantankerous old bat.
Right, I'm just going
to have a word with him,
in fact both of them because
I'm getting a little bit
fucking pissed off. The
minute my back is turned,
and what was his complaint
to you this morning?
- It was generally that
he doesn't want to see
any of his plates being binned,
he doesn't want anything
being different.
He came round and took all
his knives out.
It was just generally,
this is our business,
this is our home,
things aren't going to changing
as much as everybody thinks.
We're still going to be
doing it our way
and nobody's going to say
any different.
- He's stuck in ways.
- I'm pissed off really.
- [Gordon] Yeah, but
how pissed off are you?
- On a scale of one to ten?
- Yeah.
- I'll give it a good seven.
- Unbelievable.
Two days to go and he
decides to screw it all up.
At 62 years of age it's
becoming really fucking clear
that you can't teach an
old dog new fucking tricks.
(upbeat music)
I'm nearing the end of my
week at the Fenwick Arms
where I'm trying to save
Brian and Elaine
from the jaws of bankruptcy.
But just when I thought
we'd turned the corner,
Brian's gone behind my back
and told his staff he
won't accept my changes.
Now I want to get it
out with you now
because I don't mind going,
I'd rather go and see
my wife today
than sit here and fucking
bang my head against the wall.
If you're not prepared
to accept the changes,
you've got to tell me,
and the nit picking.
Do you know what, you've
got to balance it out
with some confidence and a
little bit of encouragement.
- As I said to them this
morning, right?
Just remember we are the bosses.
- It's not a power struggle,
you are definitely the owners.
Just cut them a little
slack you'll be surprised.
- You know what we're
acting like?
Small children, aren't we?
- Thank you.
They're busting their nuts
off for you right now.
- They're busting their
nuts off for you right now.
- That's not for me,
that's for you because you
pay their fucking salaries.
Not me.
And when you're worried
about your Villeroy Boch
fucking plates that no
one's changing,
fucking and come and tell me,
yeah?
Because I'll smash them
over your fucking head.
He'd better have
listened this time.
I'm only here for two more
days and a bigger concern
is that it's Sunday on
a bank holiday weekend
and the pub is virtually empty.
Sunday lunch normally
this quiet or?
- Sunday lunch is a bit
hit and miss.
Some weeks you can have
quite a few in,
other weeks you can
have maybe six or 10 in.
- Here we are sat at
a quarter two,
25 covers done
and we should be having a
second seating
coming in now for Sunday lunch.
But thank God only
25 five people
are going to eat the
miserable looking roast
they're serving today.
It's coated in yet another
disgusting brown sauce.
Is that Brian's recipe?
- [Chris] Yes.
Yeah.
- It's a revolting
concoction of gravy granules
and reduced red wine.
I may have kicked Brian
out of the kitchen
but unfortunately his
influence still lingers on.
I suppose we could always
retile the roof
with that fucker, can't we?
Look at that, fuck me.
Why is it so dark?
- [Nathan] The red wine.
- But the Yorkshire puddings
are actually pretty impressive.
What a shame they're
going to be ruined
by Brian's disgusting gravy.
Why isn't this place packed
out for a Sunday lunch?
- We don't know.
We just don't know.
We have no idea.
We've tried different menus,
we've had bigger, we've had
shorter, we've tried all sorts.
- Yeah.
Look how busy the
fucking road is.
- Yeah.
- You should be fucking ramming
them in for Sunday lunch.
- [Brian] Yep.
(upbeat music)
- Turnover needs to increase
by at least 2,000 pounds a week.
I think Sunday lunch holds the
key to solving the problem,
but there's only one thing
Brian's gravy is good for.
We're saying goodbye to the
gloop and hello to gravy.
Whee!
Fucking hell.
We've got some tarmac.
Okay?
One thing we're gonna do now
is make a proper gravy, yes?
When was the last time
you made a proper gravy?
- Years ago.
- Years ago?
- Yeah.
- Fresh oil in there, yeah?
And carrots, leeks, celery,
yeah?
- [Nathan] Yes.
- And it's really
important to make the gravy
in the tray the meat
was roasted in.
(upbeat music)
And now stock.
Beef stock, yeah?
Bring that up to the boil.
Right, and when I, when I
pass this through a sieve
I want to see the
bottom of the tray
get nice and clean, yeah?
What happens all the
vegetables start to go through
the sieve so it naturally
thickens the gravy.
Out and look, gravy.
This has given me a
great PR idea
that's going to appeal to
Brian's eccentric personality
and give the Fenwick Arms the
boost it so desperately needs.
That wasn't an overly
busy lunch was it?
- No.
- And we took how much?
- I didn't do a reading.
- 460 something.
- 400 quid, one, two, three,
four, five, six, seven, eight.
Eight of us on, barely
enough to pay the wages.
Barely enough, yeah?
The penny dropped for
me today you know that.
Why can't this place
become famous for gravy?
- [Brian] Brilliant idea.
- Look at these things.
They're amazing.
You've the amazing potential
to have a fantastic
Sunday lunch.
Bring back real gravy.
This place will be
fucking heaving.
- How?
- Yes?
- How?
You go, you get on the streets
and you just announce, okay?
That you've got
a campaign to launch real gravy
at the fucking Fenwick Arms,
yes?
A campaign to launch real gravy.
Hey, it sounds a little
bit fucking dolally,
but why can't you just
turn it around
and get out on the street
with the team, yeah?
- Yes.
- Give us a word.
- Yes, we will launch
the campaign.
(laughs)
(regal music)
- [Gordon] As I hoped.
Brian is well and truly
sold on the campaign.
- Join the campaign
for real gravy.
Join the Fenwick Arms
for real gravy.
- His troops are armed
with Yorkshire puddings
and jugs of gravy,
and we're ready to hit the
streets of Kirkby Lonsdale.
Yorkshire pudding and just
a little bit of gravy there.
- [Brian] Join the
campaign for real gravy.
- Sir?
Real gravy, there we are.
- No more jus's, no
more sauces, real gravy.
No more sets, no
more billie gas,
just real traditional
British gravy.
- Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
- Bollocks to bisto,
bollocks to maggie.
The campaign for real gravy
starts at the Fenwick
Arms Claughton.
The centre of the universe
for real gravy.
- Nice?
- That's very good.
- Happy, good man.
- [All] We want gravy!
We want gravy!
We want gravy!
- Bollocks to Bisto!
- We want gravy!
- We want gravy!
- [Gordon] Great word of
mouth publicity is unbeatable.
And Brian and the team
have done a brilliant job
making damn sure the Fenwick
Arms is the talk of the town.
We want gravy.
- We want gravy,
not just any gravy but
the real gravy.
- [Gordon] We re-launch tomorrow
and when word spreads about
the real gravy. the pub
should be packed out.
- There you are, join
our campaign.
Real gravy.
- It's my last day
and there's still a lot to do
before tonight's re-launch.
First impressions count
so there's no point
launching a big PR campaign
if the place looks a dump
when the punters get here.
Have a look at that sign.
It cheapens the place and it
just sends the wrong messages,
do you know that?
Huh?
And I want to see the
Fenwick Arms
so that banner!, you
know, that's got to go.
and the whole place just needs
sprucing up a little bit.
Jet hose the front and just
get it nice and vibrant.
(upbeat music)
While the front of house
team spruce up the exterior,
I've suggested to Brian
that he gets back on E-bay
and starts selling off his
huge crockery collection.
- I've got ten of those
and they're starting off
at 46 quid each.
- [Gordon] I may have
done the impossible
and got Brian selling his plates
but I've got a feeling
he won't find staying out
of the kitchen so easy.
I need Elaine to keep an
eye on him when I'm gone.
There's one person that
can make sure
that he doesn't go back
to his old ways, is you.
- Yeah, I shall remind him.
I think he'll listen.
- You've got to keep
him out of that kitchen.
You cannot let him
back in there.
- I just think he was
frightened of being--
- [Gordon] Jobless.
- [Elaine] Just put on the
shelf and forgotten about.
And he didn't want to
feel as though
they could manage without
him even though he knew that.
It's the same with me.
- But he's got that
competition streak in him.
He's 62 though.
He doesn't need to be that
competitive with his staff.
- No, he doesn't, but you
can see the passion he's had.
- Oh god, 30 years?
Yeah, easily.
Like I said there's not many
that have lasted that long.
But it's about time he started
to enjoy it a little bit, no?
(upbeat music)
Tonight we're re-launching
the Fenwick Arms
as a great British pub.
The real gravy campaign
has done the trick
and bookings have been
pouring in all day.
- Good afternoon Fenwick Arms?
- [Gordon] On a normal
Tuesday night
Brian and Elaine would be
lucky to get 20 customers
but there's already 88 booked
in for tonight's re launch.
- Eight o'clock?
Yeah, we could do it maybe
going on towards half past.
- In the kitchen I've
put together a new menu
of no nonsense tasty
British pub favourites.
There's hearty pea and ham soup.
And the all time classic,
simple prawn cocktail.
A few prawns in the middle.
What's the secret of a
prawn cocktail?
- Good prawns?
- Good prawns,
lovely Marie Rose sauce
and a little bit of apple.
The apple and the lettuce, yeah,
just really make it
nice and zesty.
All these dishes use
great ingredients,
prepared simply and
presented without fuss.
Just like this
pressed ham terrine.
When you think about something
like a pub, it's rustic,
so keep the food rustic, yeah?
So in terms of presentation
dots and fucking bits and bobs,
get it on there, that's
it end of story.
All the chefs have
impressed me this week,
but I think Karen's got the
maturity to run the kitchen.
So you're going to
take the reins?
- Yep.
- You are, yeah?
- Yeah, definitely.
- And what happens if he
starts to change things again?
What are you going to do?
- Put my foot down.
Oi, no way.
- You'll put your foot down?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
- Be tough.
- [Gordon] It's time to
show Brian and Elaine
their new menu.
I've replaced their
complicated fussy food
with 25 classic pub dishes.
Surprise, surprise.
Simple straightforward honest
British pub food, yeah?
And nothing too quirky.
- I'm well impressed.
- Roast rib of beef,
stunning Yorkshire puddings,
jug of gravy.
Fish and chips.
Beautiful sausage and mash,
Lancashire Hot Pot and apple
and blackberry crumble.
- I'm proud of what I can see.
- The secret behind
this menu here
and being completely traditional
in terms of pub food
is just the speed it can
fly out at, yeah?
With two sittings in
the dining room
the chefs will be
under pressure.
But it's Brian and
Elaine I'm worried about.
If they can't relax and
speed up the service,
we'll be screwed.
- Do we say our prayers now?
- I'm shaking like a
leaf inside.
I don't know whether I'm on
this planet the next planet,
but I'm definitely on a
traditional pub planet.
(upbeat music)
- [Gordon] He'd better be.
The pub is packed out tonight
but if Brian and Elaine
are going to start paying
off their huge debt,
this can't be a one off.
16 minutes from the starter
to the main course, go.
Two roast beef.
Just keep it like this,
first table,
keep it like this.
- Yep.
(upbeat music)
- Lasso, here we go.
Lose those cobwebs.
For the first time ever
they're aiming to fill
the dining room twice over,
so they can't waste
time pouring wine
or gravy for the
customers tonight.
- Mr. Foster, yes, you've got
him on table four, Elaine.
- Oh, he needs to be on three,
sorry.
- Did you wait long?
- No.
- No?
- Five minutes?
- Five minutes, perfect.
Gravy you're happy with?
- Gravy and Yorkshire
pudding's are sensational.
- Fantastic.
So far so good.
The kitchen seems to be
coping well under pressure.
Nathan, just be careful,
all these main courses are
flying out now, desserts next.
Right, how many have you done?
- [Karen] I think there's
about 40, so maybe a bit more.
- We're on about 45,
just going to 50, yeah?
Over half way, yeah, keep
it going, yeah?
But out front there's a
disaster waiting to happen.
It's 8:30 and they're
slipping into old habits,
the bar is full of people
waiting to be seated.
Brian and Elaine haven't
got the first customers off
the tables yet.
Brian, we've got a bit
of queue forming, yeah?
Can we sit some of
the guests down?
- Yes, we're just trying
to get them to move
the tables to sit them down.
- If they don't move
tell me, I'll move them.
- I'll get somebody to bring
the bill for you, thanks.
- We've got to get them
out of these tables now,
you know that, so we
got to be firm now, yes?
- Yep.
- Are we finding it hard
to transition?
It's not a
restaurant it's a pub.
So don't be scared after
one hour 55 minutes,
would you mind taking
coffee in the bar
or come and have a
drink at the bar.
Change those tables.
- Yep.
- If you don't do that
in the next 15 minutes
we are going to be in
the fucking shit.
- Have you got a bill for table,
that one,
whichever one it is?
- It's been touch and go
but at last the second
sitting have their tables.
That's the hardest thing
right now, isn't it?
Turn them round, and
for the first time ever
it's starting to run like a pub.
The Fenwick Arms is buzzing.
The real gravy is
being lapped up
and traditional pub food
has hit the spot.
- I had roast beef and it
was so gorgeous,
with real gravy on it.
- [Gordon] Nice.
Lovely.
If Brian and Elaine can
keep up the pace,
they might just pull this off.
- I mean, hell, it's a
lot of excitement.
The adrenalin is absolutely
pounding through me.
Evening all.
Everything fine?
Evening.
Everything's fine?
- [Gordon] It's been
a huge success
and finally the penny's
dropped for Brian.
He's realised that the kitchen
runs better without him.
- I think the team have just
been unbloody believable.
They've done it.
I've not been there.
I've not had to come in
and where's this,
where's that, where's the other.
And I am just so
proud of them all.
Wow, what a night.
- At times this week I seriously
doubted it was possible,
but tonight the Fenwick
Arms has been transformed
from a stuffy dining room
into a vibrant packed pub.
How much money did we take?
- The till.
- Yep.
- Tells me we've done
2,247 pounds.
- [Gordon] Yes, get in there.
(all applaud)
- Fantastic.
- 2,000 pounds more
than last Sunday lunch.
- Yep.
- [Gordon] Brian what
does that tell you?
- That changing the menu and
doing it simpler has worked.
- Yeah.
Well, since I've been here
that was the first night
I witnessed all of you
running a pub
and I'm not going to
come back to what I came
and saw a week ago, yes?
- [Brian] No, you're not.
- No, no chef whites.
No knife rack.
- Nope.
- Nowhere near it?
- No.
- No.
There was one, one little
problem I found a Barbie plate.
Please, Eddie, wrap it
up in clingfilm,
dig a hole and hide it, yes?
Promise me?
- Yes.
- Good man, go.
(glass breaks)
Oh no!
Eddie!
(calm music)
A month ago I left Brian and
Elaine running a busy pub.
I'm dying to find out
if they've kept it up.
I'm on my way back to surprise
them for Sunday lunch.
The car park's looking full.
Always a good sign.
And the last Sunday I was here
they struggled to
serve 22 people.
Good, the campaign for
real gravy is still there.
Menu, we can notice
it this time.
- Good evening.
- Good evening, afternoon,
hello, how are you?
- [Woman] Fine thank
you and yourself?
- Yes, very well thank you.
Where's Brian?
- In the kitchen.
- In the kitchen.
- He's where?
- In the kitchen.
- In the kitchen?
- With Elaine.
- What in the fuck is going on?
What in the fuck are you
doing in here?
Hello.
- Hello.
I thought you were doing
the great northern run.
- [Gordon] What are you
doing dressed in those?
- Working.
- Why?
- Because I haven't got
anybody else.
- [Gordon] Oh for god's sake,
Karen.
- It's Chris's day off
today, so I'm on my own.
- It turns out just one
week after I left,
Brian was back in the kitchen
and Nathan left to go
back to college.
Oh fuck me!
Brian?
- Yes, Gordon.
- I cannot believe,
I've just found you back
in the kitchen.
- I couldn't get any staff and
we're just trying to recruit
to replace the one who went.
- Bloody hell.
What else is back?
Truthfully before I start
rummaging around
and looking for it.
- Some of the plates.
- Oh no!
- Yep.
Some of the plates.
That was--
- Oh no!
Why?
- Because what you taught us
was listen to your customer.
- Oh here we go.
- So we did.
- So your customers were saying
bring back square plates?
- No, what they wanted
was the wow factor
on the food again.
That's what they wanted.
- What do you mean the
wow factor on the food?
It's a pub, Brian.
- Yes, but--
- If you're starting to
become a restaurant slowly,
within a month you're
destined for trouble.
- We went a little way
down the road
but kept the menu
basically along the lines
of what you were saying.
- Prawn cocktail's
still on there.
- Yes.
- Yep, we've changed that.
- You've changed that?
- Yeah, we've done the prawns.
- It's not in a wine glass.
- It's not a wine glass.
- [Gordon] No?
- We've done it the way
that we've always done it.
- [Gordon] Go on.
- And it sells
exceptionally well.
- Oh here we go.
How did you used to
serve the prawn cocktail
before I put it in a glass,
remind me?
- Scallop shell with it on.
- Oh for fuck's sake.
- Scallop shell, but it sells
and the customers like it.
- Brian, Brian.
- Yep?
- Prawns don't live inside
scallop shells.
- No, but they don't live
inside glasses either.
- Oh fucks sake.
Oh fuck me.
Fucking hell.
(upbeat music)
The good news is that thanks
to the real gravy campaign,
just one month, Sunday
lunch takings
have doubled and the overall
turnover is up by 30%.
I'll start with a prawn cocktail
in a scallop shell, please.
Yeah, they haven't got
mashed potato piped round
the outside have they?
- Yes.
- Oh fucking hell.
So this is Brian's wow factor.
He really is a stubborn old bat.
Fuck me, prawn cocktail.
Fuck it I'll do it myself.
That's how I expect to see
a prawn cocktail in a pub.
Brian is making an incredible
250 litres of gravy a week
and I'm not surprised people
are flocking for this roast.
- My god, look at the size of
the portions, extraordinary.
Nice gravy,
and nothing farted around
with, do you know what I mean?
Lovely.
Mm.
I don't think there's a beef
or a Yorkshire pudding anywhere
in the country today
that could have matched what
you served me for lunch.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- [Gordon] Don't piss around
with it, you don't need to.
And whilst I'm
slightly concerned
that you're back in the kitchen,
I hope it's for a
temporary time only.
- It is.
- Because if I talk to this lady
in six months time, god forbid,
and you've popped your
fucking clogs in there
on that stove, I'll be
fucking furious.
Get out of there, run
your pub not your kitchen.
Please.
- I will and I'm
absolutely confident
that the way that you
have set us up,
the way the menu is set
up is going to work.
- Look at me and tell me,
will you let go?
- Yes.
- Because if you do let
go there's every chance
this is going to work,
you know that?
(upbeat music)
Brian is full of surprises.
He's got a new reason to
log onto his computer.
He's running a campaign
for real gravy website.
- September.
34,500 hits.
- In one month?
- In one month.
- 34,500?
- Yeah.
- It's fucking fantastic.
- Yeah.
- 34,500 people logging
on to find out more
about the Fenwick Arms.
Do me a favour now, start
thinking about your next
campaign,
and I know what it should be.
Campaign for a real
prawn cocktail.
- Now you're taking the piss,.
- I'm not taking the piss.
You were taking the
piss serving it
in a fucking scallop shell.
Good luck.
- Thanks very much, Gordon.
- Good night, take care.
- Bye.
- Fucking hell.
Scallop shells in a
prawn cocktail.
Fucking hell.
(shells rattling)
Fucking hell.
30 years.
(engine revs)
(upbeat music)