Kitchen Nightmares (2007–2014): Season 3, Episode 1 - Hot Potato Cafe - full transcript
The only thing "Hot" about the Hot Potato Café are the flames it is going down in, with a family trying to run their café but unsure of how to even do it and with zero passion, and a loss in costumers after a bad review.
- Geez, the heat's
gonna kill me.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Chefs say the heat
of the kitchen either
makes you or breaks you.
This week, I meet a chef
who it nearly killed.
He collapsed in the
fucking kitchen.
He's just been rushed
to hospital.
I hope to hell he's okay.
(knife sharpening)
(soft folk music)
Nantwich, a wealthy
Cheshire town in the heart
of a thriving farming community.
Just off the high
street is Oscar's,
named after Irish writer,
Oscar Wilde.
- It's been hard work.
Like I've put a lot of
money into it
and I want it to work out now.
I'm running out of excuses.
- Cathy, your usual
without the bath, innit?
Thank you very much.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Twelve months ago,
with the support of her family,
Maura put 65000 pounds,
her life savings,
into opening her
dream restaurant.
- I like meeting people.
I love meeting people
and this is what I enjoy.
(cheering)
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
One big happy family,
running a quaint
Irish restaurant.
Perfect.
Trouble is, Maura's now
losing two grand a week
and this place was meant
to be her pension plan.
- It's just a nightmare.
It really, it is a nightmare.
It's a panic, especially
when I'm on my own.
You know I have
nobody to go home
and say, oh God, do you
know, what do you think?
- [Gordon Ramsey Voiceover]
Maura can't afford a Head Chef,
so her son Lenin's heading
up the kitchen for free.
- I'm the one that's
closest to me mum,
so obviously I wanna see
her in the large
and that's just it,
I've just stayed.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
But even with Lenin's
charitable contribution,
it seems Oscar's is on
its last legs.
- [Gordon Ramsay] Fuck me,
it's on top of a butcher.
- How've you been?
- Are you well?
- I am very well.
- It's Maura?
- Maura.
- Good.
- (speaking foreign language)
- [Gordon Ramsay] This is cosy,
nice.
And whose that on the
wall down there?
- Who do you think it is?
- He looks like a fat
version of Jonathan Ross.
Lenny?
- How you doing?
- Pleased to meet you.
- And you.
- [Gordon Ramsay]
What's under here?
- They're the ribs,
which cook in Coca Cola.
- Cooked in Coca Cola?
- Yeah.
- Fuck me, that's a new one.
- Honest to God, they are.
- They're cooked in Coca Cola?
- In Coca Cola.
- Okay.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Lenin used to be a pub chef,
and it looks like he's
picked up some bad habits.
- And what style of food is it?
- I call it a bit of everything,
a bit of fish sticks, a
bit of pasta,
a bit of vegetarian.
We try to cover a bit
of everything.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] Oh dear.
I can't wait to find out
what Maura's eclectic
menu has to offer.
- Okay?
- Thank you.
King prawn wrap, green
lip mussels, soup du jour.
A little bit of everything.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
A good restaurant
does one sort of food
brilliantly.
A bad one does 50 badly.
- Oscar Wilde buffalo.
Buffalo in Cheshire.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] Even I'd find
Maura's menu a challenge.
God knows how her son
Lenin copes.
- He wants a carbonara
for his main --
- [Lenin] Ah, the bastard.
- What?
- He had to pick the
thing I'm worst at.
- Oh, thank you.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
My paella starter
takes 20 minutes to arrive.
- It's a nice psychedelic
pink crab stick.
It stinks as well.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Then, like everyone else,
I start waiting
(twangy guitar music)
and waiting for my main course.
- [Lenin] Oh for fuck's sake.
- What are they doing in there?
Lots of cutlery on the
table but no fucking food.
(crowd chattering)
Has anyone told them
there are 38 customers in
the restaurant?
Tables three and seven
are being cleared
for about 20 minutes.
(chefs muttering)
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
With food and service this bad,
first time customers will
never come back.
- Somebody's having
a laugh here.
- Table one has
complained about waiting
too long for the food,
now they want a bottle
of complimentary wine.
What can you do?
You have to keep the
customer happy.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Maura's been forced
to flush what little
profits she could be making
straight down the toilet.
- Somebody?
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] At last,
an hour and a half
after ordering it,
my carbonara finally arrives.
- Tastes like there's
vinegar there.
You don't put fucking
vinegar in a carbonara.
There's no egg in there,
there's no Parmesan in there.
It's bland, it's garlicky.
Chicken's rubbery.
Apart from being crap
and really shit,
I actually feel
really embarrassed
because the girls behind
me haven't even eaten yet.
- We've been in here
since eight o'clock
and it's now 10 past 10,
so we've kind of
gone a bit past
caring what comes.
- Fucking hell.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] I'm amazed
they've held out this long.
What's going on in there?
- Lenin is really fucking
embarrassing me out there.
Let me give you a hand.
So, who's communicating?
Who is doing what?
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] Anyone in?
- What's that doing down there?
Who put that under there?
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Obviously, the smouldering
35 degree heat in this kitchen
has started to scramble
their brains.
- Who put it under the grill,
guys?
- I put it under.
- And did you look after it,
Les?
- No, I just turned it on
and put it under
because he stood right next
to me when I did it, so.
- This is like a fucking
Lauren Harvey show.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
This is another fine mess
I've got myself into.
(jaunty classical music)
- Salad for --
- Salad for three.
- Salad?
- Veg.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] It's a farce.
- Veg is overcooked.
That's overcooked.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
With mother and son
playing the blame game.
(thumping electronic music)
- Where is it?
- What?
- [Lenin] There's no where
it's going, fuck all.
This is the problem we
have most of the time.
Fucking waitresses.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
No one is taking control.
- Table two is now
looking for some discount.
- I'd say get fucked.
- No, you can't do that.
You can't speak to
customers like that.
- Two bottles of wine?
Two of us, that's
maybe 30 quid --
- Yeah, but you can't speak
to a customer like that.
- Well, I fucking disagree.
- Well, I'll sort it out.
- Well, I'm just saying --
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
This kitchen's a pressure cooker
waiting to explode.
- Anyway, let's not argue.
Let's just try and get
some food out.
Lenin --
- Fuck off.
Fucking cook it himself.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] A head chef
who can't stand the heat?
What happened to the quaint
family run restaurant?
- Fuck me.
It's not normal, this,
and you know that.
This is not fucking normal.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] Doing your mum
a favour is one thing.
Helping to run her business
into the ground is another.
- You can't be happy with this.
- It does hurt to see it
because I know
that every penny me mum,
it's in,
her house is in this,
everything's in this.
It's shit.
- I apologise so much.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Maura's given away
over 100 pounds worth
of free drink and food.
She'd have been better
off closing for the night
and saving the
restaurant's reputation.
- Lenin, stand next to your mum.
I actually sat down with a
little bit of excitement,
you know that, thinking,
Christ, this is quaint,
this is beautiful.
Then when the food arrived,
trust me,
I don't think quite honestly
we need to hear anymore
bad comments on the food tonight
'cause I've heard a
fucking bellyful.
We're in the shit.
(knife clangs)
(mellow rock music)
Morning.
- Good morning.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
It's my second day at Oscar's.
Last night, mother and
son team Maura and Lenin
ran possibly the worst
service I've ever seen.
- The first thing that
struck me when I came
to the kitchen last night
was the disrespect between
mother and son.
That was a big shock for me.
- Yes, with it being a
family business,
you know, this is
like a livelihood
and I walked out and I do know
that, you know, that
wasn't right.
- What the fuck
happened last night?
You give it to me truthfully.
- Truthfully --
- And seriously.
- And seriously, I, um...
I was nervous about
the whole thing
and I did, and I'll
openly admit it,
have a few drinks
yesterday picking up to it
and basically through that
I did lose me concentration
of what I was doing.
Everything just went
pear shaped.
- If I am going to get involved
and start working fucking hard
to help get this thing
back on track,
you've really got to promise me
that you're going to
concentrate,
not disappear, and forget
anything about a fucking drink.
- 100%.
110%, I promise you that.
- I'm really worried about Lenin
turning to alcohol every
time there's pressure
in the kitchen.
So many chefs go down that line
and if it's not alcohol,
it's drugs,
and that's the last
thing you need
when you're under pressure.
It's a fucking recipe
for disaster.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Like his dad before him,
Lenin's always wanted
to be a chef
but so far, I've seen nothing
revolutionary in his cooking.
It's time to find out
just what lights his fire.
- I don't cook for myself.
- You don't fucking eat
your own food?
Are you kidding, not anything?
- Curry.
I just like vindaloo
curry for some reason.
- Vindaloo?
- Yeah.
- I know, I'm read,
and that's it,
I'll sit with a bottle of
wine with that
and I'm happy enough.
- So you eat vindaloos, you
smoke 40 cigarettes a day,
a bottle of wine?
- Sugar sandwiches.
- Sugar what?
- Sugar sandwiches.
- How the fuck do --
- Butter the bread and dip
it into the sugar bowl.
Gorgeous, trust me.
- You must have a pant
like a cow's backside
having diarrhoea, you know that?
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] Sugar sandwiches
and ribs braised in Coca Cola?
Lenin's taste buds have
clearly lost their Irish roots.
I need to inspire them
with some good old
fashioned ingredients.
- Lamb.
That could be turned
into 300-400 quids
worth of turnover.
How can you turn that into
something delicious, yeah,
and sell it on the fucking menu?
Think of something for chicken
as well, you know that.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] Let's see
what his vivid
imagination can master.
- Not out of a cookbook,
but off the top of me head.
(mellow rock music)
- Okay.
Ready?
- Yep.
Right, the chicken marinated
in honey and whole
grain mustard,
served on a bed of
wilted spinach.
- Good?
- I like that.
- Yeah?
- Yeah, I do like that.
- You had a drink last night?
- [Lenin] Last night, yes.
- I didn't drink a
thing last night.
- It tastes like shit.
- Yeah, it tastes like shit.
Next?
- Diced lamb cooked in
tomato and basil sauce
and just topped with
Parmesan cheese
put a bit of chilli
just to give it
a little bit of a bite.
- This is why I think
you're destroying
the majority of the stuff you do
because you put all these
little bits of shit at the end
that just blows it.
- [Lenin] I don't think
that's too bad.
- Almost reminds me of a a
stew, like an Irish stew,
and if I came to Oscar's
I might love to see
a real nice Irish stew
and if I knew the chef
was Irish, bang.
- [Lenin] You'd expect --
- I'd be over the fucking moon.
That one's workable, not bad.
- Okay, thank you.
- [Gordon Ramsay] But you
can definitely do better.
- [Lenin] Yeah.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
And there's no time
like the present.
Irish family.
- Put the cabbage in, I
think we can do it
quite sort of rustic, you know?
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Irish restaurant.
Irish stew, here we come.
- Shake, shake, shake, so we
dry them out a little bit.
Create a little bit of fur
on the outside,
almost a bit like a fur jacket.
- That's the way they do
it in Ireland.
In Ireland when they boil
the spuds and drain them --
- [Gordon Ramsay] Welcome back.
- They go back on until they
just start to fluff out.
- Why the fuck are you
telling me this, yeah,
in your own restaurant,
when you produce the
shit you produced,
and now you've just opened up
and hit the nail on the head?
You've fallen out of love
with food, haven't you?
- A lot of people have
said that, yeah.
I don't know why, there's
no reason why.
- [Gordon Ramsay] You've
got to get it back.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
So, what does Mum think?
- I'm ashamed to say I'm Irish
and I couldn't make Irish
stew like this.
It's lovely.
- You, you're Irish,
for fuck's sake.
You should be, you know,
renowned in this town
for your Irish stew,
walking around like proud cock.
- I mean, yeah, and it's
simple, it's basic, it's cheap.
Yeah, okay.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] Mother and son
are starting to see eye-to-eye.
Now it's time to get
mature trainee chef Les
up to speed.
- [Gordon Ramsay] And did
you not want to be a chef
early on in life or?
- No, it never really
occurred to me.
I mean, when I left
school it was just
take what job I could get at
the time, really, money-wise.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] Les has had
21 jobs in 21 years.
Everything from gas man
to bingo caller.
- Give me a call.
- Eyes down.
Here we go, so it's on the
blue, four and two, blue 42.
Two fat ladies, 88,
all the sevens.
A pair of crutches, 77.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] If he can cook
as well as he can call,
then job 22 could be the
winning number.
- Six and two, clickety dot, 62.
Red over ones, legs 11.
(laughs)
- Do you want a whistle?
- Oh, they whistle, do you?
- [Les] Of course, yeah,
I do whistles.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
The chefs may be on side
but if Oscar's is empty midweek,
it doesn't matter how
much we improve the food.
- [Gordon Ramsay] How
much do you need
to take a week to break even?
- To break even, about
three and a half.
- Thousand?
- Mm.
- [Gordon Ramsay] And what
are you taking?
- On average at the minute,
it's two.
- 2000?
- Mm.
- Relationships are frail,
business is down the pan.
How long can you continue
surviving like this?
- Oh, I'm at the end now.
I just can't carry on
like this much longer.
It's a nightmare, I'm
getting worried.
My dream has just gone
down the shoot.
- [Gordon Ramsay] Where's
the butcher, Craig?
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Maura's never run
a restaurant before
and upstairs establishments
are the hardest to fill
so she's got to get her
business head on.
- Your windows, they're
fucking amazing.
I've never seen such
phenomenal space
in all my life, you know that?
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
She's been ignoring
a tailor-made marketing solution
that's right on her doorstep.
- Walking down here, Craig,
you're totally oblivious
that there's any restaurant.
Chinese next door, fine,
but bloody hell.
I want to know what's
going up in there.
Does any customers ever
tell you that
they don't know where the
restaurant is?
- Yeah, didn't know
you were here.
- I think you know
what's coming.
What I want to do is pull
those beautiful big blinds down
and just stick Oscar's,
classic Irish cooking upstairs,
telephone number, and
what I'd like to do
is try to come to
some arrangement
where you can bring your family
for a little bite to eat.
Maura will host the table
and we can have that bit
of sort of working
relationship together.
Be brilliant for us, yeah?
- Be brilliant for both of us.
- I'm just trying to
think of ways
that we can have us a
bit of a marketing tool
without having to spend
shit loads of money.
Thank you.
Butcher's handshake,
solid as a rock.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Building a reciprocal
relationship with a butcher
is key to Oscar's success.
- Normally we're using
upstairs your fillet steak.
Rib eyes?
- The rib eyes, the chicken.
- The chicken?
- And the ribs.
- And the ribs.
- And is it local lamb?
- Local lamb, all local
produce here.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
By making full use
of his local suppliers,
Lenin and his customers
will be getting a better deal.
Fresh food on the day.
- [Craig] New menu?
- It's going to be a new
menu on there.
- [Gordon Ramsay] And with
Craig's name all over it?
- Yes, so well put your
name on our menu,
this is where we get our meat.
So we need a good discount.
(Craig laughs)
I don't know what you're
laughing at, I'm serious.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
He's getting the hang of this
so I'm going to push
him even further.
I want Lenin to buy lunch
for 15 surprise guests.
- 30 quid.
- On 30 quid?
- [Gordon Ramsay] On 30 quid,
so I want two pound a head.
- A fiver for that, go on.
It's outrageous, cheers.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
If he can stick to a budget,
he'll make more profit for
the restaurant.
- How much are the potatoes?
- A pound.
- A pound?
I'll give you 60 pence for them.
(laughs)
'Cause then I'm taking
the mud off them.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
He's definitely got
the gift of gab.
- [Gordon Ramsay] You're
good at this, you know that?
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
But he can he transfer
some of that energy
into the kitchen?
- [Gordon Ramsay] Are you lazy?
- Yes, I'd say that, yes.
- You are?
Why have you turned lazy?
- I don't, I can't,
I don't know.
- Probably because no
one's driving you behind
and telling you what to do?
- Yes, uh-huh.
Maybe you've just hit
the nail on the head.
- Your mum is a weak lady.
- I know that.
- She's not going to be
there for fucking caning you
and fucking telling you off.
- No, I get annoyed with her
and that's when the
arguments start.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
They say never work
with children or family.
Today, they're all here,
but I'm keeping Lenin
in the dark.
My little surprise.
- Let me just say
this is one table
right now, Lenny, you
can't afford to fuck up.
- Right.
- Yeah?
- It won't be fucked up.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] It better not be
because his family are
his harshest critics,
especially his younger brother,
Gilly.
- There have been a few
times where I've come.
I haven't been overly impressed.
I'm not sure that repeating
the same dish constantly
he can do at the same
sort of level.
I think that is his
biggest issue.
- This is a chance for
you to show me
that you can cook and control
something from scratch
and create something
which is not on the menu,
something completely different,
and something a little
bit inspirational.
- Right.
- Excite me.
Light my fucking fire.
- Everything is fresh,
cooked fresh,
all bought locally, it's --
(snoring)
Write me a fucking
storyline or something
'cause I have no idea
what you want me to say.
- What I'm trying to get out,
Lenny,
is some fucking passion.
Some fucking care and
attention and love for food.
Blow me away.
- Deep fried local mushrooms,
stuffed with mature
cheddar cheese.
- Good.
- Slow roasted pork
finished with sage.
- Sounds nice.
- Dessert is fresh
local strawberries
served on a bed of cream.
- Very good.
What was different with that?
It's all that bullshit you're
telling me that was so hard.
That sounded fantastic.
- Right, so that's got to work.
- But the penny's just
dropped with me
because that's what you're
lacking in, confidence.
(mellow rock music)
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
A chef without confidence
is like a car without wheels
and Lenin's got to get
in that driving seat.
If he can woo the family
with a simple roast dinner,
that's half the battle.
- See this rock salt right here?
Rub it in here like that.
It takes all the water
out of the fat.
What happens to the fat?
It goes nice and --
- It'll crisp it up.
- There you go.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
The other half of the battle
is making full use of his
assistant, Les.
- You're an important
member of this team.
We need you here!
And you're going to
feel a lot safer
when this guy's
connected to you.
The minute this guy's
not by your side,
your mind's fucked,
you know that.
You definitely need help.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] Maybe this'll be
a turning point for Lenin
and with his confidence boosted,
we can concentrate on
his cooking.
- Good?
- Good.
Hey, hello, three and
a half minutes
for 15 main courses,
yeah, fucking well done.
Do me a favour and fuck
off out there.
Go on.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
It's time for Lenin
to meet his surprise guests.
(clapping)
So how has he fared?
- Lenin, this is gorgeous.
This is absolutely gorgeous.
- [Gilly] What's the meat
that's in with the cabbage?
- Bacon, onion, black pepper.
- Nice.
- Well, he does have a
connection with food.
Unfortunately he just
lacks the confidence,
that's the real sad thing
about this guy.
Cooking for your family
is fucking difficult
because they've been
criticising for a long time.
I just wish he could
actually do the same now
for his customers because
if he gets that right
we've got a chance at
getting this place
back on the fucking map.
(jazzy pop music)
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
It's Saturday night
and Oscar's is fully booked.
- I want you to make it
here for five up.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] Lenny's working
with Maura's expansive menu
but to give him a
fighting chance,
there has to be a system.
- So that's nice and clear.
Table seven, four customers.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Communication between
front of house and
kitchen must be seamless.
- Time's on there so we
can really concentrate
on getting the food out
and there's no one's
arguing then
because you're saying
it's 25 minutes
and he's saying, no, bullocks,
there's only 10 minutes.
There, look, it's on the
ticket, seven o'clock.
Now, for me the first ticket
is absolutely crucial.
Start off the evening with
the first ticket going out,
flying out, hey, is
an indication
that we're going to get off
to a really good start, yeah.
- Right.
- Let's go, wakey wakey.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
I'm putting the disasters
of my first night down to Lenny
having a nerve-steadying drink.
Tonight, I'll be watching
him like a hawk
to see where he's going wrong.
- Table 11, got us two,
one soup, one rib eye.
Extra portion of chips, 7:35.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover] Mm,
not bad,
and he's actually sounding
like a proper chef.
- Can I go with these?
- Yes please.
- [Waitress] Thank you.
- And that has been the
best eight covers
go out of this kitchen,
you know that?
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
But after 40 minutes
of faultless control
in the kitchen,
Lenny mysteriously loses it.
Big time.
- This was cold and a
bit tasteless.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
I thought we'd made
good progress cooking
for the family.
- Basically just
apologise for the --
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
How come we're back
at square one?
(tense electronic music)
- What table's this for?
Kitchen's gone silent.
Just like being in a church.
One, two, three, four,
five, six tickets on board.
Les is wandering around
looking for something to do.
If you don't open up and tell me
what you're thinking I
can't help you.
- No, no.
- Yeah, gotta open up.
- It's pretty pants, really bad.
- I'm really sorry
about your delay.
- Between our charm
and the drink
it's about the only thing
that's holding it up, so.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] I've never seen
so much food come back.
Something fishy's going on here.
- What's that there?
(Lenin mumbles)
What's in there?
- [Lenin] I don't know, I got
Cathy to deliver it for me.
- No, no, tell me the truth.
You said you were going
to be honest this morning.
- Rye bean and water
and vodka at the bottom.
- [Gordon Ramsay] When
you started off service
at 7 o'clock tonight,
yeah, it was going well,
you know that?
It's nine o'clock and
they're starting to complain.
Is that because of that?
- No, that's the first one
that's come in the kitchen.
And that is the truth.
- [Gordon Ramsay] Then why
did you tell me
you weren't going to drink?
- Because I've sitting
up here all day
and I just wanted one drink,
so I got Cathy involved.
I do apologise for that,
fair enough, sorry.
- [Gordon Ramsay] Service.
- Fuck.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
It's all becoming
seriously clear.
This is not just about
Lenin's lack of confidence.
- You let me down
fucking big time.
Half past eight inside
that fucking cup.
You sneaking vodka in?
And I don't mind having a
beer after fucking service,
I don't care what you
do after service
but in service, from
seven o'clock to 11,
you fucking stay away from that
and you put your
pressures on me.
You give me the pressure.
And it's not just the kitchen
you're fucking, you know that.
You're screwing your mum.
- I'm screwing the restaurant.
- It's going to be on food now.
- Jesus.
(melancholy electronic music)
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
We've hit rock bottom
but Lenny's proved to me
he's got talent
when he's not drinking
and he must care for
his mum and the business
if he's here every
night for nothing.
- Why does he drink?
- He really gets stressed
and I often wonder, am
I putting him
under too much pressure?
- You've got to be very
careful with that
because he's lost his motivation
and he has lost his direction
so you're the only person
who can turn that around,
you know that?
Every time you give him a drink
in the middle of service,
you're pushing the
destruct button.
It's you that's gonna
close the fucking door.
You can't allow him
another drink.
- [Maura] Yeah.
(knife clangs)
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Day three at Oscar's
and the writing's on the wall.
Like many chefs, Lenin
finds it difficult
to cope with the stress
of a busy service
unless he's had a drink.
- When you're in the
middle of service,
that's the last thing you
need is a fucking drink
and I've seen my chefs
trying to do it as well
in the middle of service
by using alcohol
to get them through a
very busy night
and if you haven't got
your fucking wits
about you in the
middle of service
then you've got no chance.
They can be the most disastrous,
the most dangerous place to be.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
First thing with Lenny
is to take the pressure away,
starting with his mum's
deranged bit of everything menu.
- I was trying to
cover everybody,
from number 16 up really,
and I made a pig's ear of it.
- Can I just say, a
menu that big
even I wouldn't attempt to cook.
You're putting a noose
around his neck
because he's not
capable of doing it.
I think you're more
capable of doing
four, five starters, four,
five mains,
four, five desserts,
fuck all else,
but for God's sake
you're both Irish
so I want to have a big
of an influence on there.
From the trout to the
potatoes to your Irish stew
and make it sort of
become a hallmark.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
I want to get Lenin excited
about a new Irish themed menu.
- Let's get this fishcake
together, shall we?
Garlic butter.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
And show him that food
can give him his kicks
instead of the booze.
- [Gordon Ramsay] Come
here, Les, blow on the fish.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] And hopefully
they can taste the
difference between his cheap
brought-in cod and
pancetta fishcake --
- [Gordon Ramsay] Chilli sauce,
get it on there, big boy.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] And my fresh
homemade alternative.
- The first one that went
in your mouths was what?
- That one, homemade.
- [Gordon Ramsay] And
the second one
that went in your
mouths was what?
- [Lenin] That shite there.
- [Gordon Ramsay] You cut into
it, what's the first thing
the customer sees?
- Colour.
- It's fish.
Tails of salmon, smoked
haddock, little bit of mustard.
- That's lovely.
- That really was nice.
- And this place
becomes renowned
for the most amazing homemade
fishcakes, Christ almighty.
- [Lenin] They're a good size.
- [Les] Go in the bin.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
The menu's starting
to come together.
I just hope I'm not
putting too much pressure
on Lenny too soon.
- [Gordon Ramsay] Are you
struggling today without a
drink?
- No, I'm not doing too
bad, no, I'm all right.
- When you're cooking and
the fucking shit hits the fan
again and you're under pressure,
I don't want you
going out there --
- No, no, no, I can
guarantee you that.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
The restaurant relaunches
in two days' time but tonight
I'm trying to break
Lenny in gently.
We've got just 15 people booked
and it's a chance to try
out some new specials.
- Push that, and push
the Irish stew,
and push all the specials.
- [Gordon Ramsay] Who's in
charge of the dining room?
- [Maura] I am.
- You?
- Mm.
- I didn't feel that the other
night when I sat in here.
I didn't feel like
there's one person
actually controlling it.
I think there's two
or three things
that are going wrong
in the service
that you really have to
be strong enough
to tell them off about it.
They'll respect you more.
One final thing, under
no circumstances
does anyone give
this man a drink
in the middle of service,
is that clear?
Mum?
- I'm no one to object!
- Yeah, okay, good, put
your foot down.
- [Maura] I'm sick of putting
my foot down with him on it.
- Your restaurant, yes?
- Yes.
- Your son?
- Yeah.
- You fucking tell him.
- Yes, he'll get a kick.
- [Gordon Ramsay] Good,
here we go.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] The aim tonight
is to teach Lenny some
control and discipline.
- We've got 10 minutes
before the first customer
comes in, you want to
nip off for a cigarette?
- Do you mind?
You wouldn't be telling
me if you did.
- Hey, yeah, I do, come back.
This is a challenge, you
little fucker.
Okay, every time you want to go
and leave this kitchen
and disappear outside
for a cigarette, you put a
pan in the box.
Every time I swear, I
put a pan in the box.
Here, and that stays on there.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
No smoking or drinking
for Lenny, no swearing for me.
- One lamb, medium to
well, one chicken and ribs,
one portion of chips, time 8:15.
You sort the pasta out, Leslie,
Rich here can tidy up,
he can chop them for you.
- [Gordon Ramsay] That's
it, now we're working
like a kitchen, guys,
there you go.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
I don't know how well
Lenny's going to fare in
this challenge.
- What's in the glass, vodka?
- Water.
- Fucking hell, shit.
Hold on, hold on,
have we started?
- [Lenny] Start
getting that full.
- Are we started yet?
- Yes you did.
- Fuck it.
- I don't know the --
(laughs)
- Les, you happy?
- Yep.
- Les, be happy here.
Nice, and you check, you
check, we've sent out
three tables beautifully,
don't start fucking up now.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
It's hard to break
the habit of a lifetime.
- [Waitress] You have an
awful start, please, Lana?
- Les, how far are you away now?
- About two minutes.
- Two minutes, okey-doke.
Thank you.
- And it's eight o'clock,
so you must be ready
for your next cigarette.
- I'm not going for a cigarette.
- [Gordon Ramsay] Thank
fuck for that.
- You've gone through
a fiver in two minutes!
Jesus, that thing, it'll take
the two of us to lift it.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] So far, so good.
No drinking, no smoking,
and the fresh fishcakes
are going down a stall.
- That's nice, they're
nice and light.
- All clean!
- Aw c'mon, seriously?
- [Waitress] Yeah, lovely!
- One smoked salmon pate,
two fishcakes,
one cod and pancetta, fuck that.
Go and send out the
decent fishcakes
with one of them cod
and pancettas.
- And that's a big move for you
and I'm not trying to make
you look fucking stupid,
but I think you should
go and tell them that!
I don't think it's something
your mum should go and do.
- No, no.
- That's your fucking kitchen.
Yeah, okay, okay, come
back and sell the fishcake.
- The actual special
fishcakes are homemade today
and they're beautiful and
I'll be honest,
the other ones are frozen.
Try them, please.
- We'll have those.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Pride and confidence.
- Thank you.
- All right, that is
the homemade.
- Oh!
- To die for.
- [Gordon Ramsay] And
you've spoken more here
for the last two hours
than you did do for three
days last week.
- Yeah.
- And it sounds fantastic.
- Right.
- And you sound in control
and you look bloody good.
- [Lenin] Thank you.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] Lenin's proved
he can get through on
a quiet night
without his usual distractions.
- [Lenin] I can smoke now,
can't I?
- Smoke some fennel seeds or...
Here you go, just try it,
try it.
This is therapy, go on, try it.
There you go.
- It's not bad, actually.
(laughs)
- I'm now smoking asparagus and
it tastes fucking delicious.
(mellow classical music)
- I enjoyed it, it's nice to see
that standard of food going out
and it's nice to see it
going nice and smooth
and not coming back, so I'll
sleep tonight this time.
I'm sure I will.
All right, let's get
tidy down here.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] We're making
great headway in the kitchen.
Now I can work on Maura
and making it perfect
for the customers.
First problem,
finding the place.
- That looks fantastic, huh?
Lovely.
- Oh yes.
- Lovely, lovely.
You'll never get a better
advertising space than that.
Fresh home cooking with
an Irish flavour upstairs.
That's lovely.
I'm glad you got the
flower boxes done as well.
It looks like there's
something up there now.
Hopefully that should help
get some more bums on
seats upstairs.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] Second problem,
to win back Oscar's reputation
by creating a midweek bargain.
- This is small, close-knit
town here, Nantwich.
So you've got to
instal confidence
back in the locals and
now is the time
to turn it around.
14 pounds, not too cheap.
You can make money on 14
pounds for two courses.
And if we can do that
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday,
with 30 customers a night,
90 covers at 30 quid a head,
that's four and a half
thousand pound in the till.
- No, I like that.
- And everything's fresh.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] Next problem,
good food at a bargain
price isn't worth anything
without good service.
- We have to bond, we
have to gel.
There's not enough
teamwork going on in here.
Work with your customers
and work with your chef,
stagger the tickets
coming through,
great understanding,
and make sure we got
great communication.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
If they get it right,
then they're also help
to take pressure
off the kitchen.
- One lamb medium to well,
one chicken and ribs,
one portion of chips.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Lenin gets off to a good start
but he seems a bit more stressed
and sounds less confident.
- [Gordon Ramsay] You all right,
Lenny?
You've gone quiet on me.
- Hey, no, fine.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
But evidently, he wasn't.
Later that evening, events
took a terrible turn.
(sirens wail)
- Lenin collapsed.
He's been rushed to
hospital in an ambulance
and I hope to hell he's okay.
It was a fucking shock.
(tense electronic music)
I need to know what's going on.
It seems Lenin's drinking
has aggravated his
health problems.
And I wish that I got told
the truth when we first met
and I felt he's put an
amazing, brave face on
and he's stuck in there
but when I heard the
problem last night
with the drink and his
medical condition
and the problem with his liver,
you know, I was shocked
on the back of trying to
deal with that.
- I thought Lenin had told ya.
- I feel like you're not
being honest with me.
- But I am, Gordon,
everything's hid from me.
I don't know.
- Yeah.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] I didn't know
and it seems even
Maura isn't aware
of the extent of his problems.
- Lenny?
- Hello?
- [Gordon Ramsay] Fucking
hell, how are you?
- Not too well.
- Yeah?
Am I pleased to see you.
How are you feeling?
- Better than last night,
anyway.
- Well, you scared
me last night.
I'm just amazed that
you didn't want
to sort of share it
with me early on
because I would've rather known.
- Yeah, it was more
embarrassment --
- You have nothing to
embarrassed about.
I just wish I knew
when we first met
that you had that problem.
You've got nothing to
be embarrassed about.
I'm sorry, fuck all to
be embarrassed about.
Your health and your condition
makes far more important
than that restaurant,
you know that?
- Yeah, I can't go round
like this, I know that.
- All right, before he goes
anywhere near a kitchen
he's got to get himself better
and clearly start
looking after himself
and before any of
that takes place,
the family have got to
start talking to each other
so they can fucking help him.
(mellow rock music)
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] Using alcohol
as a crutch in the
kitchen is a problem
that can't be ignored.
To better understand
Lenin's problem,
I've contacted pioneering
chef Michael Quinn.
- Thanks so much for
coming over.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] Michael set up
the Art Foundation to
tackle the industry wide
problem of alcohol
and drug abuse
after he himself was
toppled by the demon drink.
- [Gordon Ramsay] You had the
perfect job, for fuck's sake.
The first ever British
chef to be crowned
the chef de cuisine at
the Ritz Hotel.
- Absolutely.
When I left the Ritz, I
was at the top of the tree
and alcohol just completely
took over my life.
- Yeah.
- I went from the Ritz
eventually
to living on the street.
I slept under bridges,
in doorways.
You know, I was hospital
with liver failure.
I had the last rites
from a Catholic priest.
When that priest --
- That close?
- Yeah.
- Why do chefs today think
it's part of a fucking rock
and roll image to drink?
- Our business as chefs
is a tough business.
The immensely long hours we do,
the heat,
and also you're almost part of
an SAS squad in the kitchen.
It's that work hard, play hard,
we'll show the rest of the
bastards how good we are.
But one in 10 cross that line
and if you cross that line
into addiction,
into becoming an alcoholic,
you can never go back
to social drinking.
- Can this guy continue to cook
and deal with the
problem at the same time?
- No.
- No?
- He needs to be separated.
Willpower doesn't get you well.
In order to recover, you
need to surrender
and admit defeat, and that is
the step forward to freedom.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Michael's an extreme case
but Lenin needs to take a
lesson from this
and nip his drinking
habit in the bud
before it's too late.
We're all upset about Lenin,
but tonight sees the
launch of our new menu
and the show must go on.
- Everything on this
fucking menu here is fresh
and the sad thing here
is I wish Lenny was here
to cook it but I
think what we do
for tonight's service
is owe this one to him.
I think that sounds like the
first customers, let's go.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
With Lenin out of action,
it's bingo caller Les
to the rescue
and he's nervous as hell.
- Right, Les, how are we doing?
- [Les] Eh, not so bad,
not so bad.
- [Gordon Ramsay] Good,
you're sweating, yeah?
- [Les] Yes.
- Good, it's a healthy
sign when you sweat.
So, you stand on the hot plate,
and you call out,
and you tell me
what you want doing.
Gordon Ramsay's going to
be your fucking commie.
Go easy on me, I'm a
little bit fragile.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
Put it through your mind first.
And bingo.
- Bingo, yeah.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Eyes down for a full house.
- Table six, cover seven.
Three pate, three ribs,
one broth, one asparagus.
- Yes, chef.
(jaunty classical music)
Gently, nice and gently.
Careful when you put
it in the bowl, please.
You know the idea is not to
splash it everywhere, yeah?
- Yeah.
- Every time that's
staying there, Les,
you just fuck it up by
letting it get stone cold.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
He's off to a shaky start
but this is his first
time running a kitchen
- Stop, stop, come on, Les.
Fuck it, what do you want them
to floss with the fucking
cling film, come on.
Go, please, give it a
little a toss.
I'm sure he's good at tossing,
come on.
Watch those eyebrows.
- Gordon shouts too much at me.
- [Gordon Ramsay] One
more dumplings, go.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Maura's still not leading
her team in the dining room.
- Shit food doesn't get tipped,
good food always get tipped.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
They need to be inspired.
- Work the table, charm them.
Come on, Les.
Happy?
- Yep.
- [Gordon Ramsay] Good,
there you go,
cross them off, please,
table nine.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] In the kitchen,
things are looking up.
- Three fishcakes, two
cabbage, one peas, three mash.
- Yes, chef.
This is fantastic, this is
absolutely fucking amazing.
Well done.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
But the one thing
letting Les down is
Maura's lack of discipline
front of house.
- The last order, one of
the girls forgot
to take the main course out.
And that's what I said earlier
about how the dining room's
really got to fucking
wake up a little bit.
It's not funny, sweetheart.
What I'm trying to say --
- Yeah?
- We have got to get it
together, end of story, yeah?
- Service!
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
The numbers are really
coming in for Les tonight.
- Everybody okay outside?
- Everybody's enjoying the food.
- [Les] Great.
- Plates are coming back clean.
You're doing a good job, Les.
- Thank you very much.
- I'm not a great meat
eater but this is brilliant.
It's lovely.
- I went for the rib eye steak
which was cooked superb.
- Food tonight was gorgeous,
really, really nice.
- He's done a fucking good job.
Everyone was
expecting him to sink
and to crack or to disappear
and fuck off back to college
but he did himself proud
and I think more importantly
he's done Lenny proud.
- The fact that everything's
gone out brilliantly
and smoothly, you know,
and the fact that I've
spent all day
preparing it from fresh,
it's why I became a chef,
really.
- Good feedback, customers?
- The last tip I got was 18.50.
- 18 pound 50?
- Yeah.
- Fantastic.
- Some mistakes tonight
that were really a problem
but they were so easily sorted,
so.
- [Gordon Ramsay] That's
just communication.
You know that?
- Yeah.
- You're not good at
disciplining staff.
- Is that what you think?
- You've proved to me.
I've never heard you shout,
never heard you tell anyone off,
because when this
business closes
they all go off and
look for new job.
And if you're going to maximise
on your dreams, sweetheart,
and keep this place open,
you so, so, so
have to get on top your
business and your money.
Before I go, I just want
you all for 30 seconds
to close your eyes and
Les is just going
to read off some numbers.
Give it to me, big boy!
(jaunty classical music)
- Eyes down, no looking.
Les is dead, number 10.
Two fat ladies, 88.
All legs, 11.
Anyway around, 69.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
All credit to him,
Les has pulled it off tonight.
But he's only a novice
and Lenin needs rest
and time to recover
before he even considers
stepping foot in a
kitchen again.
If Maura's going to
stand any chance
of getting Oscar's
back on track,
she needs to find a new
chef and fast.
(knife clangs)
It's been a month since
I spent a week at Oscar's
and it was one hell of a week.
- What table is this for?
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
The food was so bad
the customers came once
but never returned.
- Somebody's having
a laugh here.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] The head chef
lacked respect for the place.
- I'd say get fucked.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
His mum, the owner,
was at her wit's end.
- I just can't carry on
like this for much longer.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Lenin smoke and drank
on the job.
- I'm in here all day and
I just wanted one drink.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
But we worked through it.
- We've sent out three
tables beautifully,
don't start fucking up now.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
And the new Irish menu
was looking great.
- The food tonight was
gorgeous, really, really nice.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
But Lenin wasn't.
He collapsed.
- He's been rushed to
hospital in an ambulance
and I hope to hell he's okay.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] After a break,
Lenin's back in the kitchen
and I'm here to find out
how he's doing.
- [Gordon Ramsay] You got
some colour on your face,
you look brown.
- I feel a lot better now.
- Drink-wise, are you
seeing someone?
- Yeah, I am, actually.
I've been to me doctor
and everything's sorted out.
Couple of bad days
here and there
but the majority good.
- The most important thing then
is you're doing
something about it,
you know that, because
that's not fair on you
and that's not fair on mum
and it's not fair on
the restaurant.
When are you having a drink?
After service, before
service, what are you doing?
- Before, any time, now,
99.9 after service,
last week, sometimes
don't even bother,
I just go home and get in me bed
and I'll sip right
now some menus
and just a bit of home, really.
- [Gordon Ramsay] Are you
eating properly?
- Oh, God, yeah, I'm eating.
I can't stop eating
at the moment.
- Well, you're not exactly
fucking fat, are you?
Len, turn around, let
me show a proper tummy.
That's what you call a
fucking triplets, big boy.
He's fucking eating properly.
- Hello, Gordon.
- How are you, darling?
- I'm all right, thank you.
- Good to see you.
How are you?
- Not too bad.
- Yes?
- Yes.
- And how's business?
- Well, me quiet twos
tonight are coming on now.
Midweek it's getting better.
- More importantly,
Lenin, is he up to the job
of actually running full time?
- I have my fears, I
have my fears.
- Not so?
- No.
- He's all right but it's...
drinking and kitchens and stoves
don't go together, do they?
- No, a lethal combination.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] Maura's keen
to take the burden
away from Lenin.
She's lined up a
potential new head chef
but Lenin's not happy about it.
- I mean, I've wanted me
own restaurant
since I was a child.
I wanted to be me dad.
And now that it's here,
I do have that fear
that it's going to be
taken away from me.
- No one's getting rid of you.
- No, I understand what
you're saying.
- Fuck's sake.
We're trying to think
of a way forward
so we can benefit --
- Keep this place alive.
- Keep this place alive
and keep your mum's dream
and her ambition.
You cannot continue like
this, you know that.
It's gonna kill you
and a new chef I think
is a breath of fresh air.
So can we kiss and make up
and let's meet this
fucking chef, huh?
Thank you.
- I love him to bits.
(jaunty pop music)
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] Mark Warrington
is a fully trained chef
with an impressive CV.
- Oven's on.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] But can he cook?
- Can cook anything you wish.
One dish is fine, yeah.
Come through.
Well, it looks a little bit
more fucking Chinese-y
then it does Irish to me.
- [Mark] Well, the fish
is but the rest of it...
- But the potatoes are Irish.
The fish is cooked nicely.
- I do like it.
- The fish is lovely.
- It's quite interesting
seeing you guys bond in there.
- Good work, Mark, no problems.
- Lenin and me basically,
we can bounce ideas
off one another
from what I've seen
in the kitchen.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Looks like we found our man.
Mark starts his new job
at Oscar's next week.
(mellow rock music)
But tonight is Lenin's
chance to shine.
- I can't fucking do
anything in there
if you still come
and talk to me.
Everything that you
know is fresh,
it's got to go out.
- Bit of a surprise tonight
I hadn't told any of you.
- [Lenin] Oh bollocks
what's coming now?
- Yeah, I've got 10 very
important customers coming.
It's the 10 customers that
were absolutely fuming
the first night I had
dinner here.
Big fucking night.
Now, on top of that,
they're going to be
presented with this.
It's an Oscar's
restaurant loyalty card
and it's to inspire them
to return to the restaurant
and on their sixth visit
they'll come as our guest.
Look out for them.
- Yeah.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] This evening
Maura's hosting an Irish night.
If it's going to run smoothly,
the waitresses must be
keen as well as green.
- Are you in control?
- Yes.
- Yeah.
- 'Cause remember last time,
I wasn't that impressed
with the service, you know that,
and tonight I'm going to
be all over the service,
you know that, like a rash,
yeah.
- Whose kitchen's this?
- Mine.
- Do you want me to stand back?
- Yes, if you don't mind.
- And not interfere?
- Yeah.
- I'll stand back.
- Let's dance.
- I don't know about
fucking dancing.
I can moonwalk, but I
can't fucking dance.
- I've seen enough and
I've gotta be honest
you look like a right prick.
(upbeat folk music)
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
The menu of Irish stew
and pork and Guinness
is exactly right
for Oscar's new Irish theme.
- First order, batty
soup, garlic mushrooms,
two fishcakes, two stew,
two veg, three potatoes.
- Off to a good start?
- Yep.
- Yep?
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
And the restaurant's full
so the waitresses have
got to give it their best.
- Just slow the girls
down a little bit,
get them walking a little
bit gracefully
like ladies, yeah, not
like baby elephants.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] Lenin's food
seems to be hitting the spot.
- Hundred times
better by a mile.
- I've got my loyalty
card and I will come back.
From my paella with crab sticks
to what I've had tonight,
big miles apart, it really is.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] The plates
are consistently
coming back empty
but I thought bingo caller Les
might have shown a
bit more pzazz.
- Les, you're a big softie,
you know that.
Push him out of the way,
take some pressure off him,
and be strong.
Big softies don't
make good cooks.
I don't want to hear
that you've turned
into a fucking dinner lady,
yeah?
Or you're working for
fucking Jamie Oliver?
Yes?
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
It's been a good night
for Lenin but I'm pleased
he's got a chef
to help him through.
(jaunty folk singing)
Maybe Maura's Irish dream
will come true after all.
(cheering)
(applause)
- Well done, fantastic.
- [Musician] We want
Gordon up to dance!
(cheering)
- Fuck off.
- Yay, Gordon!
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] One last thing.
15 stone chefs with size
14 feet don't dance.
- I don't dance!
I'm telling you I can't dance!
- [Waitress] I can't
dance either!
- [Gordon Ramsay] I can't dance!
I'm not going to fucking dance.
Oh, no, no, no, babe, oh, babe.
Babe, I can't dance.
- It doesn't matter!
- I can't dance!
- [Maura] Oh, Gordon, come
and have just a quick,
just a wee boot.
- I promise you now
honestly I cannot dance!
I can't dance, give me a kiss.
I think I'll leave them to it.
gonna kill me.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Chefs say the heat
of the kitchen either
makes you or breaks you.
This week, I meet a chef
who it nearly killed.
He collapsed in the
fucking kitchen.
He's just been rushed
to hospital.
I hope to hell he's okay.
(knife sharpening)
(soft folk music)
Nantwich, a wealthy
Cheshire town in the heart
of a thriving farming community.
Just off the high
street is Oscar's,
named after Irish writer,
Oscar Wilde.
- It's been hard work.
Like I've put a lot of
money into it
and I want it to work out now.
I'm running out of excuses.
- Cathy, your usual
without the bath, innit?
Thank you very much.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Twelve months ago,
with the support of her family,
Maura put 65000 pounds,
her life savings,
into opening her
dream restaurant.
- I like meeting people.
I love meeting people
and this is what I enjoy.
(cheering)
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
One big happy family,
running a quaint
Irish restaurant.
Perfect.
Trouble is, Maura's now
losing two grand a week
and this place was meant
to be her pension plan.
- It's just a nightmare.
It really, it is a nightmare.
It's a panic, especially
when I'm on my own.
You know I have
nobody to go home
and say, oh God, do you
know, what do you think?
- [Gordon Ramsey Voiceover]
Maura can't afford a Head Chef,
so her son Lenin's heading
up the kitchen for free.
- I'm the one that's
closest to me mum,
so obviously I wanna see
her in the large
and that's just it,
I've just stayed.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
But even with Lenin's
charitable contribution,
it seems Oscar's is on
its last legs.
- [Gordon Ramsay] Fuck me,
it's on top of a butcher.
- How've you been?
- Are you well?
- I am very well.
- It's Maura?
- Maura.
- Good.
- (speaking foreign language)
- [Gordon Ramsay] This is cosy,
nice.
And whose that on the
wall down there?
- Who do you think it is?
- He looks like a fat
version of Jonathan Ross.
Lenny?
- How you doing?
- Pleased to meet you.
- And you.
- [Gordon Ramsay]
What's under here?
- They're the ribs,
which cook in Coca Cola.
- Cooked in Coca Cola?
- Yeah.
- Fuck me, that's a new one.
- Honest to God, they are.
- They're cooked in Coca Cola?
- In Coca Cola.
- Okay.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Lenin used to be a pub chef,
and it looks like he's
picked up some bad habits.
- And what style of food is it?
- I call it a bit of everything,
a bit of fish sticks, a
bit of pasta,
a bit of vegetarian.
We try to cover a bit
of everything.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] Oh dear.
I can't wait to find out
what Maura's eclectic
menu has to offer.
- Okay?
- Thank you.
King prawn wrap, green
lip mussels, soup du jour.
A little bit of everything.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
A good restaurant
does one sort of food
brilliantly.
A bad one does 50 badly.
- Oscar Wilde buffalo.
Buffalo in Cheshire.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] Even I'd find
Maura's menu a challenge.
God knows how her son
Lenin copes.
- He wants a carbonara
for his main --
- [Lenin] Ah, the bastard.
- What?
- He had to pick the
thing I'm worst at.
- Oh, thank you.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
My paella starter
takes 20 minutes to arrive.
- It's a nice psychedelic
pink crab stick.
It stinks as well.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Then, like everyone else,
I start waiting
(twangy guitar music)
and waiting for my main course.
- [Lenin] Oh for fuck's sake.
- What are they doing in there?
Lots of cutlery on the
table but no fucking food.
(crowd chattering)
Has anyone told them
there are 38 customers in
the restaurant?
Tables three and seven
are being cleared
for about 20 minutes.
(chefs muttering)
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
With food and service this bad,
first time customers will
never come back.
- Somebody's having
a laugh here.
- Table one has
complained about waiting
too long for the food,
now they want a bottle
of complimentary wine.
What can you do?
You have to keep the
customer happy.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Maura's been forced
to flush what little
profits she could be making
straight down the toilet.
- Somebody?
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] At last,
an hour and a half
after ordering it,
my carbonara finally arrives.
- Tastes like there's
vinegar there.
You don't put fucking
vinegar in a carbonara.
There's no egg in there,
there's no Parmesan in there.
It's bland, it's garlicky.
Chicken's rubbery.
Apart from being crap
and really shit,
I actually feel
really embarrassed
because the girls behind
me haven't even eaten yet.
- We've been in here
since eight o'clock
and it's now 10 past 10,
so we've kind of
gone a bit past
caring what comes.
- Fucking hell.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] I'm amazed
they've held out this long.
What's going on in there?
- Lenin is really fucking
embarrassing me out there.
Let me give you a hand.
So, who's communicating?
Who is doing what?
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] Anyone in?
- What's that doing down there?
Who put that under there?
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Obviously, the smouldering
35 degree heat in this kitchen
has started to scramble
their brains.
- Who put it under the grill,
guys?
- I put it under.
- And did you look after it,
Les?
- No, I just turned it on
and put it under
because he stood right next
to me when I did it, so.
- This is like a fucking
Lauren Harvey show.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
This is another fine mess
I've got myself into.
(jaunty classical music)
- Salad for --
- Salad for three.
- Salad?
- Veg.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] It's a farce.
- Veg is overcooked.
That's overcooked.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
With mother and son
playing the blame game.
(thumping electronic music)
- Where is it?
- What?
- [Lenin] There's no where
it's going, fuck all.
This is the problem we
have most of the time.
Fucking waitresses.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
No one is taking control.
- Table two is now
looking for some discount.
- I'd say get fucked.
- No, you can't do that.
You can't speak to
customers like that.
- Two bottles of wine?
Two of us, that's
maybe 30 quid --
- Yeah, but you can't speak
to a customer like that.
- Well, I fucking disagree.
- Well, I'll sort it out.
- Well, I'm just saying --
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
This kitchen's a pressure cooker
waiting to explode.
- Anyway, let's not argue.
Let's just try and get
some food out.
Lenin --
- Fuck off.
Fucking cook it himself.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] A head chef
who can't stand the heat?
What happened to the quaint
family run restaurant?
- Fuck me.
It's not normal, this,
and you know that.
This is not fucking normal.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] Doing your mum
a favour is one thing.
Helping to run her business
into the ground is another.
- You can't be happy with this.
- It does hurt to see it
because I know
that every penny me mum,
it's in,
her house is in this,
everything's in this.
It's shit.
- I apologise so much.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Maura's given away
over 100 pounds worth
of free drink and food.
She'd have been better
off closing for the night
and saving the
restaurant's reputation.
- Lenin, stand next to your mum.
I actually sat down with a
little bit of excitement,
you know that, thinking,
Christ, this is quaint,
this is beautiful.
Then when the food arrived,
trust me,
I don't think quite honestly
we need to hear anymore
bad comments on the food tonight
'cause I've heard a
fucking bellyful.
We're in the shit.
(knife clangs)
(mellow rock music)
Morning.
- Good morning.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
It's my second day at Oscar's.
Last night, mother and
son team Maura and Lenin
ran possibly the worst
service I've ever seen.
- The first thing that
struck me when I came
to the kitchen last night
was the disrespect between
mother and son.
That was a big shock for me.
- Yes, with it being a
family business,
you know, this is
like a livelihood
and I walked out and I do know
that, you know, that
wasn't right.
- What the fuck
happened last night?
You give it to me truthfully.
- Truthfully --
- And seriously.
- And seriously, I, um...
I was nervous about
the whole thing
and I did, and I'll
openly admit it,
have a few drinks
yesterday picking up to it
and basically through that
I did lose me concentration
of what I was doing.
Everything just went
pear shaped.
- If I am going to get involved
and start working fucking hard
to help get this thing
back on track,
you've really got to promise me
that you're going to
concentrate,
not disappear, and forget
anything about a fucking drink.
- 100%.
110%, I promise you that.
- I'm really worried about Lenin
turning to alcohol every
time there's pressure
in the kitchen.
So many chefs go down that line
and if it's not alcohol,
it's drugs,
and that's the last
thing you need
when you're under pressure.
It's a fucking recipe
for disaster.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Like his dad before him,
Lenin's always wanted
to be a chef
but so far, I've seen nothing
revolutionary in his cooking.
It's time to find out
just what lights his fire.
- I don't cook for myself.
- You don't fucking eat
your own food?
Are you kidding, not anything?
- Curry.
I just like vindaloo
curry for some reason.
- Vindaloo?
- Yeah.
- I know, I'm read,
and that's it,
I'll sit with a bottle of
wine with that
and I'm happy enough.
- So you eat vindaloos, you
smoke 40 cigarettes a day,
a bottle of wine?
- Sugar sandwiches.
- Sugar what?
- Sugar sandwiches.
- How the fuck do --
- Butter the bread and dip
it into the sugar bowl.
Gorgeous, trust me.
- You must have a pant
like a cow's backside
having diarrhoea, you know that?
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] Sugar sandwiches
and ribs braised in Coca Cola?
Lenin's taste buds have
clearly lost their Irish roots.
I need to inspire them
with some good old
fashioned ingredients.
- Lamb.
That could be turned
into 300-400 quids
worth of turnover.
How can you turn that into
something delicious, yeah,
and sell it on the fucking menu?
Think of something for chicken
as well, you know that.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] Let's see
what his vivid
imagination can master.
- Not out of a cookbook,
but off the top of me head.
(mellow rock music)
- Okay.
Ready?
- Yep.
Right, the chicken marinated
in honey and whole
grain mustard,
served on a bed of
wilted spinach.
- Good?
- I like that.
- Yeah?
- Yeah, I do like that.
- You had a drink last night?
- [Lenin] Last night, yes.
- I didn't drink a
thing last night.
- It tastes like shit.
- Yeah, it tastes like shit.
Next?
- Diced lamb cooked in
tomato and basil sauce
and just topped with
Parmesan cheese
put a bit of chilli
just to give it
a little bit of a bite.
- This is why I think
you're destroying
the majority of the stuff you do
because you put all these
little bits of shit at the end
that just blows it.
- [Lenin] I don't think
that's too bad.
- Almost reminds me of a a
stew, like an Irish stew,
and if I came to Oscar's
I might love to see
a real nice Irish stew
and if I knew the chef
was Irish, bang.
- [Lenin] You'd expect --
- I'd be over the fucking moon.
That one's workable, not bad.
- Okay, thank you.
- [Gordon Ramsay] But you
can definitely do better.
- [Lenin] Yeah.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
And there's no time
like the present.
Irish family.
- Put the cabbage in, I
think we can do it
quite sort of rustic, you know?
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Irish restaurant.
Irish stew, here we come.
- Shake, shake, shake, so we
dry them out a little bit.
Create a little bit of fur
on the outside,
almost a bit like a fur jacket.
- That's the way they do
it in Ireland.
In Ireland when they boil
the spuds and drain them --
- [Gordon Ramsay] Welcome back.
- They go back on until they
just start to fluff out.
- Why the fuck are you
telling me this, yeah,
in your own restaurant,
when you produce the
shit you produced,
and now you've just opened up
and hit the nail on the head?
You've fallen out of love
with food, haven't you?
- A lot of people have
said that, yeah.
I don't know why, there's
no reason why.
- [Gordon Ramsay] You've
got to get it back.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
So, what does Mum think?
- I'm ashamed to say I'm Irish
and I couldn't make Irish
stew like this.
It's lovely.
- You, you're Irish,
for fuck's sake.
You should be, you know,
renowned in this town
for your Irish stew,
walking around like proud cock.
- I mean, yeah, and it's
simple, it's basic, it's cheap.
Yeah, okay.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] Mother and son
are starting to see eye-to-eye.
Now it's time to get
mature trainee chef Les
up to speed.
- [Gordon Ramsay] And did
you not want to be a chef
early on in life or?
- No, it never really
occurred to me.
I mean, when I left
school it was just
take what job I could get at
the time, really, money-wise.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] Les has had
21 jobs in 21 years.
Everything from gas man
to bingo caller.
- Give me a call.
- Eyes down.
Here we go, so it's on the
blue, four and two, blue 42.
Two fat ladies, 88,
all the sevens.
A pair of crutches, 77.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] If he can cook
as well as he can call,
then job 22 could be the
winning number.
- Six and two, clickety dot, 62.
Red over ones, legs 11.
(laughs)
- Do you want a whistle?
- Oh, they whistle, do you?
- [Les] Of course, yeah,
I do whistles.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
The chefs may be on side
but if Oscar's is empty midweek,
it doesn't matter how
much we improve the food.
- [Gordon Ramsay] How
much do you need
to take a week to break even?
- To break even, about
three and a half.
- Thousand?
- Mm.
- [Gordon Ramsay] And what
are you taking?
- On average at the minute,
it's two.
- 2000?
- Mm.
- Relationships are frail,
business is down the pan.
How long can you continue
surviving like this?
- Oh, I'm at the end now.
I just can't carry on
like this much longer.
It's a nightmare, I'm
getting worried.
My dream has just gone
down the shoot.
- [Gordon Ramsay] Where's
the butcher, Craig?
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Maura's never run
a restaurant before
and upstairs establishments
are the hardest to fill
so she's got to get her
business head on.
- Your windows, they're
fucking amazing.
I've never seen such
phenomenal space
in all my life, you know that?
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
She's been ignoring
a tailor-made marketing solution
that's right on her doorstep.
- Walking down here, Craig,
you're totally oblivious
that there's any restaurant.
Chinese next door, fine,
but bloody hell.
I want to know what's
going up in there.
Does any customers ever
tell you that
they don't know where the
restaurant is?
- Yeah, didn't know
you were here.
- I think you know
what's coming.
What I want to do is pull
those beautiful big blinds down
and just stick Oscar's,
classic Irish cooking upstairs,
telephone number, and
what I'd like to do
is try to come to
some arrangement
where you can bring your family
for a little bite to eat.
Maura will host the table
and we can have that bit
of sort of working
relationship together.
Be brilliant for us, yeah?
- Be brilliant for both of us.
- I'm just trying to
think of ways
that we can have us a
bit of a marketing tool
without having to spend
shit loads of money.
Thank you.
Butcher's handshake,
solid as a rock.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Building a reciprocal
relationship with a butcher
is key to Oscar's success.
- Normally we're using
upstairs your fillet steak.
Rib eyes?
- The rib eyes, the chicken.
- The chicken?
- And the ribs.
- And the ribs.
- And is it local lamb?
- Local lamb, all local
produce here.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
By making full use
of his local suppliers,
Lenin and his customers
will be getting a better deal.
Fresh food on the day.
- [Craig] New menu?
- It's going to be a new
menu on there.
- [Gordon Ramsay] And with
Craig's name all over it?
- Yes, so well put your
name on our menu,
this is where we get our meat.
So we need a good discount.
(Craig laughs)
I don't know what you're
laughing at, I'm serious.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
He's getting the hang of this
so I'm going to push
him even further.
I want Lenin to buy lunch
for 15 surprise guests.
- 30 quid.
- On 30 quid?
- [Gordon Ramsay] On 30 quid,
so I want two pound a head.
- A fiver for that, go on.
It's outrageous, cheers.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
If he can stick to a budget,
he'll make more profit for
the restaurant.
- How much are the potatoes?
- A pound.
- A pound?
I'll give you 60 pence for them.
(laughs)
'Cause then I'm taking
the mud off them.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
He's definitely got
the gift of gab.
- [Gordon Ramsay] You're
good at this, you know that?
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
But he can he transfer
some of that energy
into the kitchen?
- [Gordon Ramsay] Are you lazy?
- Yes, I'd say that, yes.
- You are?
Why have you turned lazy?
- I don't, I can't,
I don't know.
- Probably because no
one's driving you behind
and telling you what to do?
- Yes, uh-huh.
Maybe you've just hit
the nail on the head.
- Your mum is a weak lady.
- I know that.
- She's not going to be
there for fucking caning you
and fucking telling you off.
- No, I get annoyed with her
and that's when the
arguments start.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
They say never work
with children or family.
Today, they're all here,
but I'm keeping Lenin
in the dark.
My little surprise.
- Let me just say
this is one table
right now, Lenny, you
can't afford to fuck up.
- Right.
- Yeah?
- It won't be fucked up.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] It better not be
because his family are
his harshest critics,
especially his younger brother,
Gilly.
- There have been a few
times where I've come.
I haven't been overly impressed.
I'm not sure that repeating
the same dish constantly
he can do at the same
sort of level.
I think that is his
biggest issue.
- This is a chance for
you to show me
that you can cook and control
something from scratch
and create something
which is not on the menu,
something completely different,
and something a little
bit inspirational.
- Right.
- Excite me.
Light my fucking fire.
- Everything is fresh,
cooked fresh,
all bought locally, it's --
(snoring)
Write me a fucking
storyline or something
'cause I have no idea
what you want me to say.
- What I'm trying to get out,
Lenny,
is some fucking passion.
Some fucking care and
attention and love for food.
Blow me away.
- Deep fried local mushrooms,
stuffed with mature
cheddar cheese.
- Good.
- Slow roasted pork
finished with sage.
- Sounds nice.
- Dessert is fresh
local strawberries
served on a bed of cream.
- Very good.
What was different with that?
It's all that bullshit you're
telling me that was so hard.
That sounded fantastic.
- Right, so that's got to work.
- But the penny's just
dropped with me
because that's what you're
lacking in, confidence.
(mellow rock music)
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
A chef without confidence
is like a car without wheels
and Lenin's got to get
in that driving seat.
If he can woo the family
with a simple roast dinner,
that's half the battle.
- See this rock salt right here?
Rub it in here like that.
It takes all the water
out of the fat.
What happens to the fat?
It goes nice and --
- It'll crisp it up.
- There you go.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
The other half of the battle
is making full use of his
assistant, Les.
- You're an important
member of this team.
We need you here!
And you're going to
feel a lot safer
when this guy's
connected to you.
The minute this guy's
not by your side,
your mind's fucked,
you know that.
You definitely need help.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] Maybe this'll be
a turning point for Lenin
and with his confidence boosted,
we can concentrate on
his cooking.
- Good?
- Good.
Hey, hello, three and
a half minutes
for 15 main courses,
yeah, fucking well done.
Do me a favour and fuck
off out there.
Go on.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
It's time for Lenin
to meet his surprise guests.
(clapping)
So how has he fared?
- Lenin, this is gorgeous.
This is absolutely gorgeous.
- [Gilly] What's the meat
that's in with the cabbage?
- Bacon, onion, black pepper.
- Nice.
- Well, he does have a
connection with food.
Unfortunately he just
lacks the confidence,
that's the real sad thing
about this guy.
Cooking for your family
is fucking difficult
because they've been
criticising for a long time.
I just wish he could
actually do the same now
for his customers because
if he gets that right
we've got a chance at
getting this place
back on the fucking map.
(jazzy pop music)
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
It's Saturday night
and Oscar's is fully booked.
- I want you to make it
here for five up.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] Lenny's working
with Maura's expansive menu
but to give him a
fighting chance,
there has to be a system.
- So that's nice and clear.
Table seven, four customers.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Communication between
front of house and
kitchen must be seamless.
- Time's on there so we
can really concentrate
on getting the food out
and there's no one's
arguing then
because you're saying
it's 25 minutes
and he's saying, no, bullocks,
there's only 10 minutes.
There, look, it's on the
ticket, seven o'clock.
Now, for me the first ticket
is absolutely crucial.
Start off the evening with
the first ticket going out,
flying out, hey, is
an indication
that we're going to get off
to a really good start, yeah.
- Right.
- Let's go, wakey wakey.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
I'm putting the disasters
of my first night down to Lenny
having a nerve-steadying drink.
Tonight, I'll be watching
him like a hawk
to see where he's going wrong.
- Table 11, got us two,
one soup, one rib eye.
Extra portion of chips, 7:35.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover] Mm,
not bad,
and he's actually sounding
like a proper chef.
- Can I go with these?
- Yes please.
- [Waitress] Thank you.
- And that has been the
best eight covers
go out of this kitchen,
you know that?
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
But after 40 minutes
of faultless control
in the kitchen,
Lenny mysteriously loses it.
Big time.
- This was cold and a
bit tasteless.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
I thought we'd made
good progress cooking
for the family.
- Basically just
apologise for the --
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
How come we're back
at square one?
(tense electronic music)
- What table's this for?
Kitchen's gone silent.
Just like being in a church.
One, two, three, four,
five, six tickets on board.
Les is wandering around
looking for something to do.
If you don't open up and tell me
what you're thinking I
can't help you.
- No, no.
- Yeah, gotta open up.
- It's pretty pants, really bad.
- I'm really sorry
about your delay.
- Between our charm
and the drink
it's about the only thing
that's holding it up, so.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] I've never seen
so much food come back.
Something fishy's going on here.
- What's that there?
(Lenin mumbles)
What's in there?
- [Lenin] I don't know, I got
Cathy to deliver it for me.
- No, no, tell me the truth.
You said you were going
to be honest this morning.
- Rye bean and water
and vodka at the bottom.
- [Gordon Ramsay] When
you started off service
at 7 o'clock tonight,
yeah, it was going well,
you know that?
It's nine o'clock and
they're starting to complain.
Is that because of that?
- No, that's the first one
that's come in the kitchen.
And that is the truth.
- [Gordon Ramsay] Then why
did you tell me
you weren't going to drink?
- Because I've sitting
up here all day
and I just wanted one drink,
so I got Cathy involved.
I do apologise for that,
fair enough, sorry.
- [Gordon Ramsay] Service.
- Fuck.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
It's all becoming
seriously clear.
This is not just about
Lenin's lack of confidence.
- You let me down
fucking big time.
Half past eight inside
that fucking cup.
You sneaking vodka in?
And I don't mind having a
beer after fucking service,
I don't care what you
do after service
but in service, from
seven o'clock to 11,
you fucking stay away from that
and you put your
pressures on me.
You give me the pressure.
And it's not just the kitchen
you're fucking, you know that.
You're screwing your mum.
- I'm screwing the restaurant.
- It's going to be on food now.
- Jesus.
(melancholy electronic music)
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
We've hit rock bottom
but Lenny's proved to me
he's got talent
when he's not drinking
and he must care for
his mum and the business
if he's here every
night for nothing.
- Why does he drink?
- He really gets stressed
and I often wonder, am
I putting him
under too much pressure?
- You've got to be very
careful with that
because he's lost his motivation
and he has lost his direction
so you're the only person
who can turn that around,
you know that?
Every time you give him a drink
in the middle of service,
you're pushing the
destruct button.
It's you that's gonna
close the fucking door.
You can't allow him
another drink.
- [Maura] Yeah.
(knife clangs)
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Day three at Oscar's
and the writing's on the wall.
Like many chefs, Lenin
finds it difficult
to cope with the stress
of a busy service
unless he's had a drink.
- When you're in the
middle of service,
that's the last thing you
need is a fucking drink
and I've seen my chefs
trying to do it as well
in the middle of service
by using alcohol
to get them through a
very busy night
and if you haven't got
your fucking wits
about you in the
middle of service
then you've got no chance.
They can be the most disastrous,
the most dangerous place to be.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
First thing with Lenny
is to take the pressure away,
starting with his mum's
deranged bit of everything menu.
- I was trying to
cover everybody,
from number 16 up really,
and I made a pig's ear of it.
- Can I just say, a
menu that big
even I wouldn't attempt to cook.
You're putting a noose
around his neck
because he's not
capable of doing it.
I think you're more
capable of doing
four, five starters, four,
five mains,
four, five desserts,
fuck all else,
but for God's sake
you're both Irish
so I want to have a big
of an influence on there.
From the trout to the
potatoes to your Irish stew
and make it sort of
become a hallmark.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
I want to get Lenin excited
about a new Irish themed menu.
- Let's get this fishcake
together, shall we?
Garlic butter.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
And show him that food
can give him his kicks
instead of the booze.
- [Gordon Ramsay] Come
here, Les, blow on the fish.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] And hopefully
they can taste the
difference between his cheap
brought-in cod and
pancetta fishcake --
- [Gordon Ramsay] Chilli sauce,
get it on there, big boy.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] And my fresh
homemade alternative.
- The first one that went
in your mouths was what?
- That one, homemade.
- [Gordon Ramsay] And
the second one
that went in your
mouths was what?
- [Lenin] That shite there.
- [Gordon Ramsay] You cut into
it, what's the first thing
the customer sees?
- Colour.
- It's fish.
Tails of salmon, smoked
haddock, little bit of mustard.
- That's lovely.
- That really was nice.
- And this place
becomes renowned
for the most amazing homemade
fishcakes, Christ almighty.
- [Lenin] They're a good size.
- [Les] Go in the bin.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
The menu's starting
to come together.
I just hope I'm not
putting too much pressure
on Lenny too soon.
- [Gordon Ramsay] Are you
struggling today without a
drink?
- No, I'm not doing too
bad, no, I'm all right.
- When you're cooking and
the fucking shit hits the fan
again and you're under pressure,
I don't want you
going out there --
- No, no, no, I can
guarantee you that.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
The restaurant relaunches
in two days' time but tonight
I'm trying to break
Lenny in gently.
We've got just 15 people booked
and it's a chance to try
out some new specials.
- Push that, and push
the Irish stew,
and push all the specials.
- [Gordon Ramsay] Who's in
charge of the dining room?
- [Maura] I am.
- You?
- Mm.
- I didn't feel that the other
night when I sat in here.
I didn't feel like
there's one person
actually controlling it.
I think there's two
or three things
that are going wrong
in the service
that you really have to
be strong enough
to tell them off about it.
They'll respect you more.
One final thing, under
no circumstances
does anyone give
this man a drink
in the middle of service,
is that clear?
Mum?
- I'm no one to object!
- Yeah, okay, good, put
your foot down.
- [Maura] I'm sick of putting
my foot down with him on it.
- Your restaurant, yes?
- Yes.
- Your son?
- Yeah.
- You fucking tell him.
- Yes, he'll get a kick.
- [Gordon Ramsay] Good,
here we go.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] The aim tonight
is to teach Lenny some
control and discipline.
- We've got 10 minutes
before the first customer
comes in, you want to
nip off for a cigarette?
- Do you mind?
You wouldn't be telling
me if you did.
- Hey, yeah, I do, come back.
This is a challenge, you
little fucker.
Okay, every time you want to go
and leave this kitchen
and disappear outside
for a cigarette, you put a
pan in the box.
Every time I swear, I
put a pan in the box.
Here, and that stays on there.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
No smoking or drinking
for Lenny, no swearing for me.
- One lamb, medium to
well, one chicken and ribs,
one portion of chips, time 8:15.
You sort the pasta out, Leslie,
Rich here can tidy up,
he can chop them for you.
- [Gordon Ramsay] That's
it, now we're working
like a kitchen, guys,
there you go.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
I don't know how well
Lenny's going to fare in
this challenge.
- What's in the glass, vodka?
- Water.
- Fucking hell, shit.
Hold on, hold on,
have we started?
- [Lenny] Start
getting that full.
- Are we started yet?
- Yes you did.
- Fuck it.
- I don't know the --
(laughs)
- Les, you happy?
- Yep.
- Les, be happy here.
Nice, and you check, you
check, we've sent out
three tables beautifully,
don't start fucking up now.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
It's hard to break
the habit of a lifetime.
- [Waitress] You have an
awful start, please, Lana?
- Les, how far are you away now?
- About two minutes.
- Two minutes, okey-doke.
Thank you.
- And it's eight o'clock,
so you must be ready
for your next cigarette.
- I'm not going for a cigarette.
- [Gordon Ramsay] Thank
fuck for that.
- You've gone through
a fiver in two minutes!
Jesus, that thing, it'll take
the two of us to lift it.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] So far, so good.
No drinking, no smoking,
and the fresh fishcakes
are going down a stall.
- That's nice, they're
nice and light.
- All clean!
- Aw c'mon, seriously?
- [Waitress] Yeah, lovely!
- One smoked salmon pate,
two fishcakes,
one cod and pancetta, fuck that.
Go and send out the
decent fishcakes
with one of them cod
and pancettas.
- And that's a big move for you
and I'm not trying to make
you look fucking stupid,
but I think you should
go and tell them that!
I don't think it's something
your mum should go and do.
- No, no.
- That's your fucking kitchen.
Yeah, okay, okay, come
back and sell the fishcake.
- The actual special
fishcakes are homemade today
and they're beautiful and
I'll be honest,
the other ones are frozen.
Try them, please.
- We'll have those.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Pride and confidence.
- Thank you.
- All right, that is
the homemade.
- Oh!
- To die for.
- [Gordon Ramsay] And
you've spoken more here
for the last two hours
than you did do for three
days last week.
- Yeah.
- And it sounds fantastic.
- Right.
- And you sound in control
and you look bloody good.
- [Lenin] Thank you.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] Lenin's proved
he can get through on
a quiet night
without his usual distractions.
- [Lenin] I can smoke now,
can't I?
- Smoke some fennel seeds or...
Here you go, just try it,
try it.
This is therapy, go on, try it.
There you go.
- It's not bad, actually.
(laughs)
- I'm now smoking asparagus and
it tastes fucking delicious.
(mellow classical music)
- I enjoyed it, it's nice to see
that standard of food going out
and it's nice to see it
going nice and smooth
and not coming back, so I'll
sleep tonight this time.
I'm sure I will.
All right, let's get
tidy down here.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] We're making
great headway in the kitchen.
Now I can work on Maura
and making it perfect
for the customers.
First problem,
finding the place.
- That looks fantastic, huh?
Lovely.
- Oh yes.
- Lovely, lovely.
You'll never get a better
advertising space than that.
Fresh home cooking with
an Irish flavour upstairs.
That's lovely.
I'm glad you got the
flower boxes done as well.
It looks like there's
something up there now.
Hopefully that should help
get some more bums on
seats upstairs.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] Second problem,
to win back Oscar's reputation
by creating a midweek bargain.
- This is small, close-knit
town here, Nantwich.
So you've got to
instal confidence
back in the locals and
now is the time
to turn it around.
14 pounds, not too cheap.
You can make money on 14
pounds for two courses.
And if we can do that
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday,
with 30 customers a night,
90 covers at 30 quid a head,
that's four and a half
thousand pound in the till.
- No, I like that.
- And everything's fresh.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] Next problem,
good food at a bargain
price isn't worth anything
without good service.
- We have to bond, we
have to gel.
There's not enough
teamwork going on in here.
Work with your customers
and work with your chef,
stagger the tickets
coming through,
great understanding,
and make sure we got
great communication.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
If they get it right,
then they're also help
to take pressure
off the kitchen.
- One lamb medium to well,
one chicken and ribs,
one portion of chips.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Lenin gets off to a good start
but he seems a bit more stressed
and sounds less confident.
- [Gordon Ramsay] You all right,
Lenny?
You've gone quiet on me.
- Hey, no, fine.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
But evidently, he wasn't.
Later that evening, events
took a terrible turn.
(sirens wail)
- Lenin collapsed.
He's been rushed to
hospital in an ambulance
and I hope to hell he's okay.
It was a fucking shock.
(tense electronic music)
I need to know what's going on.
It seems Lenin's drinking
has aggravated his
health problems.
And I wish that I got told
the truth when we first met
and I felt he's put an
amazing, brave face on
and he's stuck in there
but when I heard the
problem last night
with the drink and his
medical condition
and the problem with his liver,
you know, I was shocked
on the back of trying to
deal with that.
- I thought Lenin had told ya.
- I feel like you're not
being honest with me.
- But I am, Gordon,
everything's hid from me.
I don't know.
- Yeah.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] I didn't know
and it seems even
Maura isn't aware
of the extent of his problems.
- Lenny?
- Hello?
- [Gordon Ramsay] Fucking
hell, how are you?
- Not too well.
- Yeah?
Am I pleased to see you.
How are you feeling?
- Better than last night,
anyway.
- Well, you scared
me last night.
I'm just amazed that
you didn't want
to sort of share it
with me early on
because I would've rather known.
- Yeah, it was more
embarrassment --
- You have nothing to
embarrassed about.
I just wish I knew
when we first met
that you had that problem.
You've got nothing to
be embarrassed about.
I'm sorry, fuck all to
be embarrassed about.
Your health and your condition
makes far more important
than that restaurant,
you know that?
- Yeah, I can't go round
like this, I know that.
- All right, before he goes
anywhere near a kitchen
he's got to get himself better
and clearly start
looking after himself
and before any of
that takes place,
the family have got to
start talking to each other
so they can fucking help him.
(mellow rock music)
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] Using alcohol
as a crutch in the
kitchen is a problem
that can't be ignored.
To better understand
Lenin's problem,
I've contacted pioneering
chef Michael Quinn.
- Thanks so much for
coming over.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] Michael set up
the Art Foundation to
tackle the industry wide
problem of alcohol
and drug abuse
after he himself was
toppled by the demon drink.
- [Gordon Ramsay] You had the
perfect job, for fuck's sake.
The first ever British
chef to be crowned
the chef de cuisine at
the Ritz Hotel.
- Absolutely.
When I left the Ritz, I
was at the top of the tree
and alcohol just completely
took over my life.
- Yeah.
- I went from the Ritz
eventually
to living on the street.
I slept under bridges,
in doorways.
You know, I was hospital
with liver failure.
I had the last rites
from a Catholic priest.
When that priest --
- That close?
- Yeah.
- Why do chefs today think
it's part of a fucking rock
and roll image to drink?
- Our business as chefs
is a tough business.
The immensely long hours we do,
the heat,
and also you're almost part of
an SAS squad in the kitchen.
It's that work hard, play hard,
we'll show the rest of the
bastards how good we are.
But one in 10 cross that line
and if you cross that line
into addiction,
into becoming an alcoholic,
you can never go back
to social drinking.
- Can this guy continue to cook
and deal with the
problem at the same time?
- No.
- No?
- He needs to be separated.
Willpower doesn't get you well.
In order to recover, you
need to surrender
and admit defeat, and that is
the step forward to freedom.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Michael's an extreme case
but Lenin needs to take a
lesson from this
and nip his drinking
habit in the bud
before it's too late.
We're all upset about Lenin,
but tonight sees the
launch of our new menu
and the show must go on.
- Everything on this
fucking menu here is fresh
and the sad thing here
is I wish Lenny was here
to cook it but I
think what we do
for tonight's service
is owe this one to him.
I think that sounds like the
first customers, let's go.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
With Lenin out of action,
it's bingo caller Les
to the rescue
and he's nervous as hell.
- Right, Les, how are we doing?
- [Les] Eh, not so bad,
not so bad.
- [Gordon Ramsay] Good,
you're sweating, yeah?
- [Les] Yes.
- Good, it's a healthy
sign when you sweat.
So, you stand on the hot plate,
and you call out,
and you tell me
what you want doing.
Gordon Ramsay's going to
be your fucking commie.
Go easy on me, I'm a
little bit fragile.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
Put it through your mind first.
And bingo.
- Bingo, yeah.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Eyes down for a full house.
- Table six, cover seven.
Three pate, three ribs,
one broth, one asparagus.
- Yes, chef.
(jaunty classical music)
Gently, nice and gently.
Careful when you put
it in the bowl, please.
You know the idea is not to
splash it everywhere, yeah?
- Yeah.
- Every time that's
staying there, Les,
you just fuck it up by
letting it get stone cold.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
He's off to a shaky start
but this is his first
time running a kitchen
- Stop, stop, come on, Les.
Fuck it, what do you want them
to floss with the fucking
cling film, come on.
Go, please, give it a
little a toss.
I'm sure he's good at tossing,
come on.
Watch those eyebrows.
- Gordon shouts too much at me.
- [Gordon Ramsay] One
more dumplings, go.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Maura's still not leading
her team in the dining room.
- Shit food doesn't get tipped,
good food always get tipped.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
They need to be inspired.
- Work the table, charm them.
Come on, Les.
Happy?
- Yep.
- [Gordon Ramsay] Good,
there you go,
cross them off, please,
table nine.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] In the kitchen,
things are looking up.
- Three fishcakes, two
cabbage, one peas, three mash.
- Yes, chef.
This is fantastic, this is
absolutely fucking amazing.
Well done.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
But the one thing
letting Les down is
Maura's lack of discipline
front of house.
- The last order, one of
the girls forgot
to take the main course out.
And that's what I said earlier
about how the dining room's
really got to fucking
wake up a little bit.
It's not funny, sweetheart.
What I'm trying to say --
- Yeah?
- We have got to get it
together, end of story, yeah?
- Service!
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
The numbers are really
coming in for Les tonight.
- Everybody okay outside?
- Everybody's enjoying the food.
- [Les] Great.
- Plates are coming back clean.
You're doing a good job, Les.
- Thank you very much.
- I'm not a great meat
eater but this is brilliant.
It's lovely.
- I went for the rib eye steak
which was cooked superb.
- Food tonight was gorgeous,
really, really nice.
- He's done a fucking good job.
Everyone was
expecting him to sink
and to crack or to disappear
and fuck off back to college
but he did himself proud
and I think more importantly
he's done Lenny proud.
- The fact that everything's
gone out brilliantly
and smoothly, you know,
and the fact that I've
spent all day
preparing it from fresh,
it's why I became a chef,
really.
- Good feedback, customers?
- The last tip I got was 18.50.
- 18 pound 50?
- Yeah.
- Fantastic.
- Some mistakes tonight
that were really a problem
but they were so easily sorted,
so.
- [Gordon Ramsay] That's
just communication.
You know that?
- Yeah.
- You're not good at
disciplining staff.
- Is that what you think?
- You've proved to me.
I've never heard you shout,
never heard you tell anyone off,
because when this
business closes
they all go off and
look for new job.
And if you're going to maximise
on your dreams, sweetheart,
and keep this place open,
you so, so, so
have to get on top your
business and your money.
Before I go, I just want
you all for 30 seconds
to close your eyes and
Les is just going
to read off some numbers.
Give it to me, big boy!
(jaunty classical music)
- Eyes down, no looking.
Les is dead, number 10.
Two fat ladies, 88.
All legs, 11.
Anyway around, 69.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
All credit to him,
Les has pulled it off tonight.
But he's only a novice
and Lenin needs rest
and time to recover
before he even considers
stepping foot in a
kitchen again.
If Maura's going to
stand any chance
of getting Oscar's
back on track,
she needs to find a new
chef and fast.
(knife clangs)
It's been a month since
I spent a week at Oscar's
and it was one hell of a week.
- What table is this for?
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
The food was so bad
the customers came once
but never returned.
- Somebody's having
a laugh here.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] The head chef
lacked respect for the place.
- I'd say get fucked.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
His mum, the owner,
was at her wit's end.
- I just can't carry on
like this for much longer.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Lenin smoke and drank
on the job.
- I'm in here all day and
I just wanted one drink.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
But we worked through it.
- We've sent out three
tables beautifully,
don't start fucking up now.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
And the new Irish menu
was looking great.
- The food tonight was
gorgeous, really, really nice.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
But Lenin wasn't.
He collapsed.
- He's been rushed to
hospital in an ambulance
and I hope to hell he's okay.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] After a break,
Lenin's back in the kitchen
and I'm here to find out
how he's doing.
- [Gordon Ramsay] You got
some colour on your face,
you look brown.
- I feel a lot better now.
- Drink-wise, are you
seeing someone?
- Yeah, I am, actually.
I've been to me doctor
and everything's sorted out.
Couple of bad days
here and there
but the majority good.
- The most important thing then
is you're doing
something about it,
you know that, because
that's not fair on you
and that's not fair on mum
and it's not fair on
the restaurant.
When are you having a drink?
After service, before
service, what are you doing?
- Before, any time, now,
99.9 after service,
last week, sometimes
don't even bother,
I just go home and get in me bed
and I'll sip right
now some menus
and just a bit of home, really.
- [Gordon Ramsay] Are you
eating properly?
- Oh, God, yeah, I'm eating.
I can't stop eating
at the moment.
- Well, you're not exactly
fucking fat, are you?
Len, turn around, let
me show a proper tummy.
That's what you call a
fucking triplets, big boy.
He's fucking eating properly.
- Hello, Gordon.
- How are you, darling?
- I'm all right, thank you.
- Good to see you.
How are you?
- Not too bad.
- Yes?
- Yes.
- And how's business?
- Well, me quiet twos
tonight are coming on now.
Midweek it's getting better.
- More importantly,
Lenin, is he up to the job
of actually running full time?
- I have my fears, I
have my fears.
- Not so?
- No.
- He's all right but it's...
drinking and kitchens and stoves
don't go together, do they?
- No, a lethal combination.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] Maura's keen
to take the burden
away from Lenin.
She's lined up a
potential new head chef
but Lenin's not happy about it.
- I mean, I've wanted me
own restaurant
since I was a child.
I wanted to be me dad.
And now that it's here,
I do have that fear
that it's going to be
taken away from me.
- No one's getting rid of you.
- No, I understand what
you're saying.
- Fuck's sake.
We're trying to think
of a way forward
so we can benefit --
- Keep this place alive.
- Keep this place alive
and keep your mum's dream
and her ambition.
You cannot continue like
this, you know that.
It's gonna kill you
and a new chef I think
is a breath of fresh air.
So can we kiss and make up
and let's meet this
fucking chef, huh?
Thank you.
- I love him to bits.
(jaunty pop music)
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] Mark Warrington
is a fully trained chef
with an impressive CV.
- Oven's on.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] But can he cook?
- Can cook anything you wish.
One dish is fine, yeah.
Come through.
Well, it looks a little bit
more fucking Chinese-y
then it does Irish to me.
- [Mark] Well, the fish
is but the rest of it...
- But the potatoes are Irish.
The fish is cooked nicely.
- I do like it.
- The fish is lovely.
- It's quite interesting
seeing you guys bond in there.
- Good work, Mark, no problems.
- Lenin and me basically,
we can bounce ideas
off one another
from what I've seen
in the kitchen.
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
Looks like we found our man.
Mark starts his new job
at Oscar's next week.
(mellow rock music)
But tonight is Lenin's
chance to shine.
- I can't fucking do
anything in there
if you still come
and talk to me.
Everything that you
know is fresh,
it's got to go out.
- Bit of a surprise tonight
I hadn't told any of you.
- [Lenin] Oh bollocks
what's coming now?
- Yeah, I've got 10 very
important customers coming.
It's the 10 customers that
were absolutely fuming
the first night I had
dinner here.
Big fucking night.
Now, on top of that,
they're going to be
presented with this.
It's an Oscar's
restaurant loyalty card
and it's to inspire them
to return to the restaurant
and on their sixth visit
they'll come as our guest.
Look out for them.
- Yeah.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] This evening
Maura's hosting an Irish night.
If it's going to run smoothly,
the waitresses must be
keen as well as green.
- Are you in control?
- Yes.
- Yeah.
- 'Cause remember last time,
I wasn't that impressed
with the service, you know that,
and tonight I'm going to
be all over the service,
you know that, like a rash,
yeah.
- Whose kitchen's this?
- Mine.
- Do you want me to stand back?
- Yes, if you don't mind.
- And not interfere?
- Yeah.
- I'll stand back.
- Let's dance.
- I don't know about
fucking dancing.
I can moonwalk, but I
can't fucking dance.
- I've seen enough and
I've gotta be honest
you look like a right prick.
(upbeat folk music)
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
The menu of Irish stew
and pork and Guinness
is exactly right
for Oscar's new Irish theme.
- First order, batty
soup, garlic mushrooms,
two fishcakes, two stew,
two veg, three potatoes.
- Off to a good start?
- Yep.
- Yep?
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
And the restaurant's full
so the waitresses have
got to give it their best.
- Just slow the girls
down a little bit,
get them walking a little
bit gracefully
like ladies, yeah, not
like baby elephants.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] Lenin's food
seems to be hitting the spot.
- Hundred times
better by a mile.
- I've got my loyalty
card and I will come back.
From my paella with crab sticks
to what I've had tonight,
big miles apart, it really is.
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] The plates
are consistently
coming back empty
but I thought bingo caller Les
might have shown a
bit more pzazz.
- Les, you're a big softie,
you know that.
Push him out of the way,
take some pressure off him,
and be strong.
Big softies don't
make good cooks.
I don't want to hear
that you've turned
into a fucking dinner lady,
yeah?
Or you're working for
fucking Jamie Oliver?
Yes?
- [Gordon Ramsay Voiceover]
It's been a good night
for Lenin but I'm pleased
he's got a chef
to help him through.
(jaunty folk singing)
Maybe Maura's Irish dream
will come true after all.
(cheering)
(applause)
- Well done, fantastic.
- [Musician] We want
Gordon up to dance!
(cheering)
- Fuck off.
- Yay, Gordon!
- [Gordon Ramsay
Voiceover] One last thing.
15 stone chefs with size
14 feet don't dance.
- I don't dance!
I'm telling you I can't dance!
- [Waitress] I can't
dance either!
- [Gordon Ramsay] I can't dance!
I'm not going to fucking dance.
Oh, no, no, no, babe, oh, babe.
Babe, I can't dance.
- It doesn't matter!
- I can't dance!
- [Maura] Oh, Gordon, come
and have just a quick,
just a wee boot.
- I promise you now
honestly I cannot dance!
I can't dance, give me a kiss.
I think I'll leave them to it.