Kitchen Nightmares (2007–2014): Season 3, Episode 2 - Flamango's - full transcript
Flamangos: a restaurant with an odd name, odd structure, odd decorative alligator, and odd dishes nobody likes. And Adele: real life's example of George Costanza's mom, with more than a generous helping of ungratefulness.
Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it - foodval.com
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- [Gordon] How many
people does it take to run
a small seaside hotel
and restaurant?
I've never seen so many
fucking managers,
supervisors, head
receptionists, and sous chefs.
I'm absolutely gobsmacked.
In this week's Nightmares,
I check into a real life
Fawlty Towers to find out.
Thank you.
God, it looks like something
out of a porn movie.
(waitress laughing)
(bright music)
- I can't physically taste
everything within the kitchen
or I'll end up like a big air
balloon, I would have thought.
- I've spoken to the
restaurant manager.
- Yes.
- And I've spoken to the food
and beverage manager.
- Yes,
now you're speaking to me.
- And now I'm talking
to the general manager.
Fucking wake up, will you, yeah?
Wake up!
(dramatic music)
(blade whizzing)
(blade ringing)
(whimsical music)
The Sandgate Hotel is
perched on a gorgeous
stretch of the Kent coast.
It's 24 miles from France,
but a million miles from being
a good hotel and restaurant.
The Sandgate Hotel.
What a great spot.
It's got 15 rooms and a coveted
AA rosette for it's food,
and I'm checking in.
First test of any hotel
is the reception,
always a great sign of
how it's run.
(voices murmuring)
Hello.
Thank you.
Sorry, are you, you
on the phone?
- Yeah, it's urgent.
- It's urgent?
- No.
I'll tell him that
I'm going now.
- Tell him there's a customer.
- Sorry.
I'll see you on Tuesday.
Yeah, bye-bye now.
You're in room number four.
- [Gordon] Thank you.
(whimsical music)
Three years ago, Lois
and Peter Hamilton Slade
pooled their life savings
and bought the Sandgate.
At the moment, this place is
losing around two grand a week,
so Peter has had to
keep his engineering job
while Lois runs the hotel
and restaurant.
You've obviously run
restaurants before.
- No.
- Never?
- Never have.
- Or small guesthouses, then?
- [Peter] No.
- Never?
- Never.
This is our first, first effort.
- [Lois] This is the restaurant.
Oh, it's very small, isn't it?
- Yes.
- [Gordon] It's very small.
Lois has gone from selling
perfume at Gatwick Airport
to managing this small
boutique hotel by the sea.
And the food comes up
through the stairs?
- No, it comes through here.
- Okay.
- Dumbwaiter.
- Yeah.
- Dumbwaiter.
A husband and wife team running
a hotel and a dumbwaiter.
Hazoo.
Fucking hell, all the
food comes out of there?
- Yeah, to the kitchen.
Restaurant to the kitchen.
- That must be a nightmare, no?
- It seems to work very well.
- Does it?
- Yeah.
- [Gordon] Extraordinary,
it's not just one restaurant.
There's also a terrace barbecue,
a bar,
and Kent's first Japanese
restaurant in the basement.
It's a strange mix,
but they do have one thing
in common, no customers.
How long can it survive?
- If we don't have a
very good summer,
oh I don't think we'll
get through the winter.
- And if the shit hits the
fan and it doesn't take place
and we have a crap
summer, what do you lose?
- Probably quarter of a million.
- Sometimes we've had comments
that the food is inconsistent.
I think that is a lot of the
case when Stuart's not here.
- And Stuart's the?
- Head chef.
- [Gordon] Head chef.
The Japanese chef,
where's he from?
- It's the same chef, Stuart.
- It's the same one.
- The same chef.
- We haven't got a
Japanese chef.
- But you've got a
Japanese restaurant.
- [Both] Yes.
- Hello, there.
- How are you?
- Very well, thanks.
- And?
- Stuart.
- Stuart.
38 from Northumberland, he's
been here for six months.
It's his first head chef's job.
But since he's got here,
he's started hearing voices.
(radio mumbling)
What's that?
- Yeah.
Right, coming up.
- [Man] Thank you, guys.
- It's like my little
system of communication.
- Is it like that all night?
- [Stuart] Yeah.
- How do you
concentrate with that?
- I try and ignore it as
much as possible.
- [Gordon] Fucking hell.
Does it not drive you
around the bend?
- [Stuart] Yeah.
- Is that order for table nine?
- Table eight.
- Oh.
- Hello?
- Wait, nine.
- Yeah?
- Hello?
- Can you fuck off and
do some work?
Four restaurants, 168
dishes, and one kitchen.
Time to taste the food.
Okay, thank you.
And there are the,
the specials.
- The specials?
Yes, that's the a la carte.
- And the a la carte?
- Can I have a look at the
Japanese menu, as well, please?
Of course you can.
- Thank you.
Four in tonight, Saturday
night, for dinner.
- Sorry, just to let you know,
we don't actually serve
Japanese in this restaurant.
Just to let you know.
- Right.
And so I'll go downstairs
for my starter
and then come back here
for my main course.
- I need to see the food
and beverage manager,
see what I can do for you.
- Food and beverage manager?
- Yes.
(bright music)
- Dear oh dear.
I mean, what a way of
pissing customers off.
Are you the food and
beverage manager?
- Yeah.
- And sorry, first name?
- Kevin.
- Kevin.
So you really want me
to go downstairs
and have my sushi there?
- That's what I've been
told by the general manager.
- And who's that?
- That's Kirsti.
- Kirsti.
Let me have a word with Kirsti.
- Yeah.
- Thank you very much.
Fuck me.
It's extraordinary.
I've spoken to the
restaurant manager.
- Yes.
- I've spoken to the food
and beverage manager.
- Yes,
and now you're speaking to me.
- And now I'm talking
to the general manager.
Have you ever watched
Fawlty Towers?
- Yes.
- Yeah.
- Hi, tell them
Japanese starters.
- [Gordon] We've got three
managers, two waitresses,
but only four customers.
The numbers just don't add up.
(voices murmuring)
(glasses clinking)
The rice is hard.
What a cock up.
But it's not the only one.
Next, chicken from the a
la carte menu.
(upbeat music)
Thank you.
God, it looks like something
out of a porn movie.
(waitress laughing)
It's enough to make
your eyes water.
Excuse me, waitress,
I'm missing my bollocks.
- [Waitress] The potatoes
are just coming.
(Gordon laughing)
It doesn't taste of chicken.
It tastes of tomato.
It's like sun dried
tomatoes running through it,
but they're so, so strong.
Not for me.
The maki rolls, who made them?
- [Cook] I did.
- And how old are you?
- 18.
- 18.
- So you don't taste everything
that this 18 year old cook.
- I can't physically taste
everything within the kitchen,
or I'll end up like a, a
big air balloon,
I would have thought.
I like the.
(all laughing)
I like, I like to obviously
taste as much as I can.
- [Gordon] A head chef
who doesn't taste his food
is asking for trouble.
I've never seen anyone
cut it before.
It's the only way to maintain
control and keep up standards.
Plenty of time.
- I think that the rice
is underdone.
- Thank you.
That's all, it's really
important for you and I
to obviously stay on the level.
- Like I say, you can
see I'm not Japanese.
- You're kidding.
- I'm not trying
to dig a hole and try and escape
for your sushi, that was,
I've still got in my teeth.
(bright music)
(waves crashing)
- Stuart doesn't want
to cook Japanese food.
The people of Sandgate don't
want to eat Japanese food.
So why in the hell have they
got a Japanese restaurant?
This place doesn't know
what it's doing,
and that's clearly down
to one thing,
bad management.
Lois has got more
managers than the Ritz.
But I can't work out
who's running this place,
and I've got a sneaky feeling
no one else can, either.
The business is in
danger of closing.
I don't think you actually
know how dire the situation is.
The amount of management
and the amount of staff
in such a small place, I've
never seen it in my entire life.
You know that?
I've never been so
confused with supervisors
and managers and head
receptionists.
You're running this hotel
like a 350 bedroom
five star deluxe.
And the most important
worry is no one
seems to be controlling it.
I've come up with an exercise
to try and find out who
is in charge.
Drop this stone in the
bucket of the person
you think is in control
of the Sandgate Hotel.
- The whole organisation?
- [Gordon] The whole
organisation.
Oh dear, he's gone past all
the managers, and ignored Lois.
Okay.
Next, Luca, the
restaurant manager.
Surely he must know.
He's just picked the
head receptionist.
Next up is Kevin, the
food and beverage manager.
- Have more stones?
- [Gordon] Can you
have more stones?
- Yes, everybody should be
running it, that's the point.
- Everybody should
be running it?
- [Kevin] Yeah, it
should be run as a group.
- That's what I'm trying
to get through now.
That's the problem.
Everybody is running it, and
there's no one controlling it.
Okay.
- A voice from the top.
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
And you hit the nail
on the head.
That's what's exactly
fucking happening.
Everybody's trying to run it,
and they're not doing
their own jobs.
So, interesting.
We're all here now and
there's five of you
that have got stones in
your buckets.
So, already there's a
conflicting message.
If this business is to survive,
Lois need to take command of it.
She's got a few stones,
but she's got no bollocks.
If she doesn't grow a pair,
the hotel is going to
be washed up.
(dramatic music)
The Sandgate Hotel in Kent
has lost 33,000 pounds
in the first four
months of this year.
But while Rome burns, Lois
and Peter, the owners,
seem determined to eat,
drink, and be merry.
Meal, after meal,
after meal.
- My brief when I started was
it's run like Lois and
Peter's living room.
And that's how they wanted it.
That's basically
what I was told.
- It was?
Run it as if it's their lounge?
- Basically.
- [Gordon] Running a
hotel and restaurant
is not the same as eating
and drinking in one.
Lois and Peter bought a dream.
Now they need to wake
up to the fact
that it's a business, not
a second home.
Day three at Sandgate Towers,
and a chance to see the
terrace barbie.
Fucking hell.
Hardly a day for
fucking barbecue.
I feel like I'm a fucking
car boot sale.
Stuart's worked in some
good kitchens in his career,
but they get him to set
up a portable barbie.
It's heart-breaking.
You're not gonna get any
customers today.
- I will.
- For fuck's sake,
flies in that fucking thing.
Surely they can't make their
head chef suffer any more.
- The kitchen.
(Gordon laughing)
- Kitchen, are you there?
Are we all set?
(radio mumbling)
- Give us, oh, four minutes
on a bison garnish, please.
- [Gordon] Where's that to,
Calais?
This place is like a jigsaw,
but none of the pieces fit.
Freeing set up, so he's
out there on the barbecue,
and you're left to
run the kitchen.
- Yes.
- Fucking hell.
You're 20 years of age,
you're 18 years of age.
I mean, how come you've got
all that responsibility?
And what happens when it's busy?
- We'll be in the shit.
- [Gordon] Who would put someone
who's clearly a good chef
in charge of a barbecue?
Time to find out from
the manager.
But which one?
Kirsti, the general manager,
is Lois' daughter-in-law.
Before coming to Britain,
she worked in restaurants
in her native New Zealand.
The barbecue, how would
you describe that?
- My aim was for kiwi barbecue.
- I thought that.
That sort of territorial,
- Salads.
- Kiwi beach life.
- Something like that, yeah.
- But, sweetheart, we're
not in fucking Auckland.
- I know.
- We're in Sandgate.
The lack of focus in
this place is astounding.
Lois hasn't even got
her flagship
fine dining restaurant
under control.
The majority of the
complaints that come through
are normally on your day off.
Have you ever eaten in
the restaurant?
No.
- Because if the complaints
are going on when
you're not here,
you've got to see what they're
serving in the dining room
so you can really do
something about it properly.
- Yeah.
- And identify it.
Are we too complicated?
Is the menu too big?
Are they inexperienced?
Do we need to simplify it?
What do I need to do
as a head chef?
You're the food and
beverage manager,
have you ever eaten up here?
- No.
- How can you relate to
your customers' experience
if you're not
experiencing the same time.
Go upstairs, order.
- Yeah.
- I think you'll find
something very interesting
going on there.
- [Stuart] Yeah.
- [Gordon] Kirsti hasn't
worked at the sharp end
of the business for
about eight months,
so today she's going
to waitress.
I don't know what's on
and what's off,
but I'm sure you do.
Stuart's number two in the
kitchen is 21 year old Johnny.
(meat sizzling)
So what's going first, Johnny?
- I'm going to send this
bar food first,
and then the starters.
The bread's just gone
up for the two,
but I can't find anyone to
take it out of the lift yet.
- God.
Is it always like this?
- Yeah.
- [Gordon] Johnny runs the
kitchen two days a week,
when Stuart's off.
This is my chance to
see how he copes.
Come on, guys,
that's 10 minutes those
plates have been there.
We're fucking around
with the garnish.
They're a young team to be
cooking such elaborate food.
And just to add to it, Johnny,
they ordered it over
one hour ago.
Yeah?
- Yeah.
- [Gordon] Let's get
it out, guys, come on.
(dishes clattering)
Careful.
I'm not going to allow
you to send this.
This is really important
for you, you know that,
from a professional
point of view.
Because you've got to get
all the way up to the top
in this fucking industry.
Not serving shit like that,
big boy.
And all you're doing by
serving that shit is,
hey, destroying the place.
And that's just on a
fucking burger.
And I know you can do
better than that,
you know that?
- I know I can do better.
- There you go, so
fucking do it.
- [Johnny] Yeah.
- [Gordon] There are only
nine customers in for lunch,
but it's well over an hour
before Stuart and Kevin
get their mains.
- Undercooked.
(radio beeping)
That bell's annoying, isn't it?
- [Kevin] Try working up here.
- So did you get that
I cancelled my starter?
- Yes, and mine.
- Yeah.
- [Gordon] Unfortunately,
Kevin and Stuart aren't
the only unhappy customers.
Johnny, table nine
have popped off.
They've gone.
That's the table that
had no starters
and went straight for
the main courses.
Where's the ticket gone?
- In the bin.
- Why have you put
it in the bin?
- I didn't put it, that's
where it's ended up.
- Fucking wake up, will you,
yeah?
Wake up.
This is one of the worst
lunch services I've ever seen.
Johnny's tried his best, but
the real culprit is clear.
It's Stuart's food.
It's just far too complicated.
- Certainly been educational,
to say the least.
- [Gordon] Stuart's had
a shock upstairs, too.
- I never thought I would be
so, I actually walked out.
- You walked out?
- Yeah.
- Fucking hell, why did
you walk out?
- Because I seen someone
else eating my dessert
that I'd been waiting
for 35 minutes.
- [Gordon] A head chef walking
out of his own restaurant,
this place has sunk about
as low as it can go.
Morning.
How are you?
(bright music)
Stuart's seen firsthand
what's wrong upstairs.
I think the best people to tell
him what's wrong downstairs
are his own brigade.
But I think the young chefs
like this softhearted Geordie
so much they've been
too afraid to pipe up,
in case they hurt his feelings.
It's time they told their
boss a few home truths.
So, whoever catches a bass
today, as you catch that bass,
you turn around openly
and tell Stuart something.
You've got a lot to say,
haven't you?
- [Stuart] What happens
if I catch one?
Who can I cry to?
(Gordon laughing)
- Fucking me, big boy.
(all laughing)
- [Johnny] Here we go.
Come on.
- Here he comes.
Here he is.
- Come to daddy.
- It's a bass.
- Oh!
- [Gordon] Well done,
round of applause.
Whee.
More importantly, what
have you got to say?
- All right, Stuart.
- [Gordon] Quickly,
because Luke's in.
- You've got a lovely menu,
but there's too much of it.
- [Gordon] Thank you.
Well done, Luke.
Whee.
Well done, Luke.
What have you got to
tell the chef?
- I just think that the menu's
nice and that, there's just,
I think there's too many
garnishes, really, for the
dishes.
- No problems, there.
Thanks for telling us.
- [Luke] That's all it is,
really.
- [Gordon] At 38,
Stuart's old to have just got
his first head chef's job,
and I think he's
desperate to impress.
- If we simplify it,
I think we can get the
taste a lot better,
and we can get the stuff
looking so much better
instead of having to try and
rush it out all the time.
I just don't like the
service being manic,
because I know that I
can do better myself,
and I know the rest of us can.
- Yeah.
(soft music)
- [Gordon] Great, they're
starting to enjoy themselves.
Team spirit's vital to
a good kitchen.
- Nice one.
- Nice.
Yes.
- [Gordon] Well done, Johnny,
two of the biggest fish so far.
The only one pissed off is me.
Four hours on the
English Channel
and I didn't catch a thing.
Sandgate is twinned
with Sangatte,
a French town 24 miles
across the channel.
But instead of seeking
inspiration from France,
Lois and Kirsti have got
the chefs cooking food
from New Zealand and and
Japan, 6,000 miles away.
(bright music)
My plan is to bring them home.
Sea bass.
You're not gonna get
any better, any fresher,
quality ingredients than that.
It's on your doorstep.
And that's what we need
to take advantage of.
Stuart's sea bass fish
on the a la carte menu
has 15 ingredients,
which is why the boys
struggle so much with it.
I'm going to show them a
simpler version
with just five ingredients.
And then just let the
knife do the work.
And through.
In.
(pan sizzling)
Back on the stove.
I think what I'm trying
to do is just show you
how easy it can be,
one person can do this.
Narrow down the
complexity of it,
and it can be done within
three or four minutes,
you know that, yeah?
Sea bass.
And the dish is going
to be just as exciting
with less on there because
we're concentrating
on the sea bass being hot,
the dish being less
complex, and the flavour.
Lois has been guilty of putting
unrealistic demands on Stuart.
No chef with a small team can
cook 168 dishes really well.
We've got to convince her
and Peter that less is more.
- That's really good.
- Superb.
- [Gordon] The sea bass
has won them over.
But there's bad news.
- We, sadly, had a
letter this morning
to say that we've lost
our AA rosette.
- Oh.
- Have you got the
letter with you?
- I have, yes.
- Sorry.
- [Lois] It was for
the food guide.
- Right.
One AA rosette is
awarded for food
cooked with care and skill.
But forced to cook for
four restaurants,
Stuart has slipped below
that standard.
It's a kick in the
bollocks for any chef.
There's no two ways about that.
But in a way it's a clean start.
You turn the page.
We'll make it less
complex, and we go again.
Fucking hell.
Oh, dear.
We haven't got long to
turn this place around,
and I'm worried.
I don't know if the big
friendly giant
will be able to pick
himself up from this one.
- Bad news, yeah?
We just lost the rosette.
- What does that mean?
- It's gone.
They've taken it away.
I'm gutted.
What can we do?
It's a kick in the teeth.
It's a bullet to the heart.
- [Gordon] If Lois
isn't careful,
it won't just be Stuart's
professional pride down the pan.
Less is more on the
plate, and in the hotel.
We need to simplify everything
so what's left can sparkle.
- Fucking hell.
- [Gordon] The weakest link
is the Japanese restaurant.
How's it going?
- It's going.
- How's it going?
- Up and down.
- Up and down.
It's costing more to
staff than it's making.
Last week it took
just 290 pounds.
- I can't believe.
- And I'm personally
worried about it.
And what about you?
- It's tough here.
- [Gordon] Uh-huh.
I think we're in love
with the idea
more than we are with the
success of the business.
And my idea is to close it.
And to stop haemorrhaging money.
- What would you suggest
we did with it?
- Here?
I think you've got a perfect
room for private dining,
an overspill from
the restaurant.
- That's a good idea,
it's a fantastic idea.
- And I think, whether
he's got the bollocks
to tell you or not, I'm
going to tell you,
he's not very
comfortable cooking it.
He's not a fucking
Japanese chef.
(energetic music)
He's a Geordie.
(bright music)
I've put the food back
on the road to recovery
and got rid of that
stupid Japanese.
But front of house is
still a shambles.
- Hello, when, when
did you book?
- When we arrived this evening.
- Oh, okay, no problems.
Well, I do have some
space for you, okay,
but I don't have your wine list.
I'm sorry.
- [Gordon] Sorting out the
chaotic customer service
is too much even for me.
- Would you like to take a seat?
- [Gordon] Basil Fawlty
wouldn't like it,
but what this place needs
is a Frenchman.
Fuck me, am I happy to see you.
- Hello.
- Are you well?
- I'm very well.
- Yeah?
I'd like to introduce
you to Jean-Baptiste,
he's my maitre d
from Claridge's.
Jean-Baptiste is in
charge of 70 waiters.
If there's anyone who can help
Lois organise the restaurant,
it's him.
Right, let's have a look
at the dumbwaiters.
- The service area.
- [Gordon] He'll take
control upstairs
while I help Stuart keep
things shipshape downstairs.
- Where the food comes up
from the kitchen
and to the restaurant.
- So customers can hear
the waitresses talking
and the restaurant
manager talking.
And the buzzer also sort of,
(buzzer beeping)
there you go, it goes right
through the dining room.
(buzzer beeping)
- [Lois] Now, when the first,
or any intercom.
(buzzer beeping)
- [Gordon] Within
minutes of arriving,
Jean-Baptiste bans the
intercom system.
From now on, the waiters
will have to go downstairs
and talk to the chefs
face to face.
- Would you like to
come through?
- Hello, monsieurs, how are you?
- [Gordon] Even the basics
aren't looked after here.
Luca, the restaurant manager,
hasn't got enough cold
water for lunch.
- Yeah, because you're
going to run out of water
very quickly, my friend, no?
I mean, you got two
bottles of water.
- [Luca] But what I would do,
I would give them tumblers
with ice and lemon.
(bottles clanking)
- And what if they don't
want any ice and lemon?
- Give it to them warm,
unfortunately.
- Yeah, but this is a
fucking disgrace, no?
- Unfortunately.
- How are you
going to do that?
Luca, Luca, those glasses,
they are fucking dirty.
Look at that.
All right, this is what we
need to change,
Luca.
- It will pan out.
- It's, we have to be
customer orientated, Okay?
- [Gordon] Front of house have
had absolutely no leadership
or quality control from Lois.
- Oh, of course.
- You prefer
that I take the menu?
- You are the owner.
- Okay.
- You get the restaurant
manager or some waiter
to bring them in there, okay?
When you're here, you're
here to be here,
facing the customers,
welcoming them, okay?
Welcome home, you know?
- Oh, this is just gettin'
harder to do.
- No, welcome home.
- [Gordon] The first
check is in.
You all right?
Not too hard?
Clear face to face
communication like this
should cut out all the wrong
orders and misunderstandings.
Okay, that wasn't difficult,
was it?
What's it like having the
tickets in the kitchen now,
in your hands?
- I feel more in control.
- You feel in control?
- I can spend a little
bit more time cooking,
which is what I'm best at.
- That's fucking banned, guys.
Look, hello.
Yeah, no one touches that
fucking thing.
Okay?
- You need to pick up the
bread and the butter now.
So who is going to do it,
if not?
Kevin, who's going to do it?
Him?
- Yeah.
- They work here.
- They're working here?
So what do you mean,
they're working here?
Your staff is coming
in like that?
- [Gordon] A member of
staff ignoring Lois
and heading for the bar, and
she hasn't batted an eyelid.
What's going on?
- [Jean-Baptiste] You're
the fucking owner.
- Exactly.
- They did not
even say hello to you.
Can you believe that?
- No.
- How's it going?
- It's a fucking nightmare.
It's bad organisation, it's
a lack of communication,
lack of team, team spirit,
team leader.
Nobody knows what they're doing.
The the waiter is
managing the the owner.
The owner doesn't know
what she's doing.
And it's a fucking mess.
It's a mess.
- Yeah.
Jean-Baptiste has helped
reorganise the restaurant.
But he's also uncovered
the ultimate symptom
of everything that's wrong
with Lois's business.
Staff are allowed to
drink on the premises.
I need to get to the
bottom of this.
- They spend a lot of money in,
at the bar.
- They spend
over 2,000 pounds a
month on the bar.
- [Gordon] 2,000 pounds a month?
Fuck me.
500 quid a week on staff drinks?
- [Lois] That's what they spend.
- Have you become
dependent on that?
- Possibly.
I guess, to a degree, we sat
down and looked at, you know,
how much we were earning off
of them at the end of the day.
You know, it reduces
the salary bill.
- It's even worse
than I thought.
Because how on earth are you
going to get the message across
when you're treading on
eggshells to not upset them
because they're going
to be spending
2,000 pound a month in the bar.
Fucking hell.
I've never heard anything
so pathetic in all my life.
Everyone's taking the piss.
And maybe there is an advantage
of having too many staff,
because they're spending
2,000 pounds a month
in the fucking bar, drinking.
And clearly, that's keeping
the business afloat.
(dramatic music)
(upbeat music)
The Sandgate Hotel in Kent
is in serious trouble.
It's got a great location
and a great chef,
but an owner who hasn't got
a clue how to run a business.
I'm in the midst of
trying to rescue it.
Fucking wake up, will you, yeah?
Wake up.
In just two days time, we're
relaunching the restaurant
with a French flavour.
We're holding an oyster
eating competition
against a French team
from Sangatte.
But I've discovered that owner
Lois and her manager Kirsti
are getting the basics wrong.
They allow their staff to
use the bar as a common room,
which is a surefire way to
drive your customers away.
- It is our fault.
We have done it wrong.
I do, I can absolutely see it
that we have done it wrong.
Because it's building up,
it's getting more and
more familiar.
They're more and more
drinking going.
And sometimes people, there
are so many staff here
that the customers can't
get to the bar.
- [Gordon] The staff are
spending over 24 grand a year
on booze and fags.
But I'm putting a
stop to it now.
- [Lois] Once you've
finished your shift,
I'm afraid you cannot come
and sit in the bar and drink.
- Now that has huge
implications in this company.
I think you all know that.
That is massive.
- This business is not
run for staff.
And the owners no longer
are going to depend
on you guys put money in
behind the bar.
And secondly, you've got no
idea of the conflicting messages
it's sending to the customers.
And you can't serve a
member of the public,
and then go and sit in the
same bar and drink with them.
It's not good.
Never seen it in my entire life.
And it's got to stop.
This is not the drinking hole.
This is not a socialising gaffe.
- Can I just ask,
when you said staff
aren't allowed to drink,
does that mean their days off,
as well?
- Why does anyone want to
come here on their day off?
Let me tell you why, because
it's too fucking easy.
Let's go down to the Sandgate.
Let's sit there and
get blattered.
Let's sit on the terrace.
Let's sit, it's too comfy.
Haven't you got homes to go to?
It's just become too convenient,
I think we can all agree that.
Then when there's asses
to be kicked the next day,
and disciplinary to take place,
no one wants to listen
to the owners or Kirsti
because we've sort of had a
chat and had a drink over it,
and nothing's got done.
If this place has got
any hope of surviving
and going from
strength to strength
to identify the customers are
more important than the staff,
that has to stop.
- [Kirsti] Cheers.
Let's get back to work.
We're going to have to
be very careful, as well,
because, you know, there is a
tendency to come in here and,
you know, Lois and Peter
meet up in here at the end
of the day and, you know,
have a drink together.
We're, I guess, to a degree,
we're going to have to
lead by example.
- [Gordon] At last, someone's
talking about leading.
It's not Lois, but I think
we're getting somewhere.
- I'm going to have to
have a cigarette, man.
- [Gordon] You're kidding me.
But I'm still worried
about Stuart.
Since he lost the AA rosette,
his morale has hit rock bottom.
To have any chance of
pulling off the relaunch,
I need that Geordie giant
back from the dark side.
Regarding the accolade,
you'll fucking get it back,
and get it back properly,
without
trying to cook 168 dishes.
Get it back cooking a
menu that you can control.
(knife chopping)
Why do you shout so much?
- Get my point over with.
- Fucking hell.
I'm going to help him
devise a new menu
that's right for a
seaside hotel,
focusing on fresh fish
with a French twist.
If I came to sit in the bar,
or even sit in the
restaurant here,
I'd love a bowl of
monk fruit here.
I'd love a plat
of fruit de mer.
Yeah.
- I'd die for it, do
you know why?
Because I can relate
to the food,
because there's the fucking sea.
- Oh, it's ideal, like you said.
I mean, you know, and
price wise, as well,
ideally located to
buy fresh fish
for basically next to nothing.
- [Gordon] Oh, smell that.
(pan sizzling)
I'm waiting to see this
whole kitchen
just waft with the smell
of bouillabaisse.
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
The frogs will be swimming
across that channel
to get in here.
Yeah?
What about a nice big,
sumptuous, rich pear tatin?
Pears from Kent, bring a
little bit of fucking England
meets France, France
meets England.
Where's the sugar?
- There.
- Oh, right.
Oh, tawny.
Just smell that there, the
cardamom seeds.
That's lovely.
Okay.
Mm.
As well as a new menu, we
also need new customers.
So, Saga.
The biggest employer in town,
with nearly 1,000 workers
just around the corner from
the restaurant, is Saga.
Look.
Armed with two dozen oysters,
we've come to turn them
on to fresh seafood.
- They're very nice.
- That's delicious.
- [Gordon] Anything
happening downstairs?
(women laughing)
No, in your tummy.
Are you feeling sort of
warm and sexy?
- [Stuart] All the
produce is local fish
that you can see from the
Sandgate Hotel.
The same with the oysters.
- That's gorgeous.
- The same with the crab
- That's beautiful.
- It's good to start talking
about the other
things on the menu.
The idea of just getting
them sort of up to speed
with the oysters is
for you then to sort of
let them know about everything
else going on, yeah?
It's essential the
restaurant attracts locals
who are still around when
the tourists go home.
These are the people who
will keep the business afloat
in the winter.
Can I ask a question?
- Yeah.
- How's your sex life?
- Colourful.
- [Gordon] Perfect.
Let me get you some oysters.
(both laughing)
Straight down.
How is it, nice?
- Lovely.
- And there's an added
bonus for you.
(all laughing)
They've got the most
amazing bedrooms upstairs
if things have gone to plan.
Word of mouth is the
best publicity
you can get in the
restaurant trade.
And hopefully we've just set
a thousand tongues wagging.
- I'll only go for a second.
- All right.
- Tuna, small or large?
It's on the menu as two sizes.
- [Gordon] But Lois' front of
house team are still flapping.
She treats them like her
extended family,
and seems afraid to
discipline them.
It's got to change.
And I've been racking my
brains out all fucking week
on how Lois can get really
strong with her staff,
and I've got a little idea.
(bright music)
(camera snapping)
Fucking hell.
Chin up.
Just one of them, one of
them, not all fucking 10.
(man laughing)
(camera snapping)
- No, that's going to
be terrible.
- [Gordon] You greasy fucker.
(camera snapping)
Lovely.
Assertiveness training,
chef style.
- The photos.
- Really tell him
exactly what you think of him.
- Luca, I think you're
an extremely nice person
and you are an asset
to the place.
- [Gordon] Oh dear, she's
more like mum than matron.
- Like I own it.
You have got to have
respect for me,
and I don't think you have.
- Yeah.
I think with him you've got
to get really to the point.
So I'm not going to
put that there.
Luca, every time I want
something, you do it.
Do as you're told, or look
for a new fucking job.
- Right.
Well.
- [Gordon] You don't have
to say fucking,
it's a chef's thing.
Fire away.
- Luca, it's time
that you learnt
I cannot put up with you
interrupting me all the time
and not doing what I ask you.
You work for me.
I do not work for you.
- [Gordon] Good, much better.
- [Lois] Chef, every time I
speak to you, you interrupt me.
It's absolutely gobsmacking and
it's incredibly bad manners.
Kevin, you'll come
steaming in and interrupt
and start talking over
the top of me.
Do not do it.
- [Gordon] Now we're
getting somewhere.
- I need respect from everybody.
Listen to what I'm telling you.
And for Christ's sake,
get on with it.
- [Gordon] Good, do you
feel any better?
- Yeah, it's lovely, isn't it?
- Do you?
(both laughing)
Now I want you to do
it for real.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
The real thing, we have
a quick word with Luca.
Tell him what you want,
tell him what you need,
and tell him how
important this to you,
and how he does his talk.
- Yes.
- Yeah, do you want me to
do it for you?
- No.
- Let's go.
(bright music)
- [Lois] Luca?
Is he here?
When I said to you, last
night, that Cynthia was to do
the ladies in the bar,
immediately you said to me
Cynthia mustn't do the ladies
in the bar, duh, duh, duh.
- It's like me and Kevin
coordinating the function,
then you come in, breaking
in with other instructions,
it's going to be too many
people giving instructions.
- I wasn't breaking in.
That's what I'm here to do.
I have to control it, Luca.
- Basically, in a nutshell,
just do as she says.
- Sure.
- And then if you've got
an issue with it, talk
to her after service.
But in the middle of
service, do as she says.
- Okay.
- I must,
must be heard and
taken notice of.
- Okay.
- Good.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Nice work, thank you.
- [Gordon] Lois has finally
discovered her inner chef,
and not a moment too soon.
That was so good, do as I say.
End of story.
In a few hours time, we
relaunch the restaurant.
And this menu here is
clear, straightforward,
can be eaten in the restaurant,
it can be eaten on the terrace,
and it can be eaten in the bar.
60 of the area's most
influential people
are coming for lunch,
so the chefs will need to
pull together like a team.
I've got here, for you guys,
the most amazing jackets,
spotless.
Guess what we're going to do
before we put those jackets on.
- I don't know.
- [Gordon] Go on.
- Are we going in the sea?
- We're going in the
sea, exactly (laughing).
We're going to have a
quick dip before lunch.
Who's up for it?
(whimsical music)
Come on!
We could all do with a
fucking shower.
(waves crashing)
- Hey!
- [Gordon] Well done, well done.
With great seafood on the menu,
the first to arrive, naturally
enough, are the French.
Welcome to the Sandgate Hotel.
(speaking in foreign language)
This is the team that
the chefs are taking on
in the oyster shucking
competition after lunch.
And it looks like they've
all been in training.
So this is (speaking in
foreign language),
sorry, Lois, excuse me.
(speaking in foreign language)
- [Stuart] One tuna,
large portion.
- [All] Yes, chef.
- One coq au vin.
- Yeah.
- [Gordon] With the
first orders in,
the kitchen swings into action.
That looks beautiful there.
Very nice.
- I think it's the hat.
- [Gordon] It's all in the hat,
yeah?
What a transformation
from a week ago.
The food's simple.
The chefs are calm, collected,
and working as a team.
(woman laughing)
But for Lois and her
waiters upstairs,
it's a different story.
- Excuse me.
(guests clamouring)
- [Gordon] It's going
pear shaped.
I've never seen them so
far in the shit upstairs,
you know that?
- All my guys
have came in early, at
the crack of dawn.
We had time to go for a swim.
We had time to go for
a swim before service.
But I'll tell you what, I
know who's swimming now.
Huh?
- [Gordon] I think
they're about to sink.
- [Stuart] Woop, woop, woop.
- [Gordon] I need to
find out what's happening
and stop the rot.
- No, that's not me.
(guests clamouring)
- [Gordon] Another wrong order
means more work for the chefs.
And we've got to cook the salmon
again, though, haven't we?
- Yeah, we had one--
- It's only a table of two.
If it was a table of
six, I can understand.
But one table of two's
ordered wrong before, come on.
- I know, it was the noise.
- Let's go.
Oh, come on.
(dish crashing)
Oh.
What is it?
There's glass everywhere.
Want me to start the
table again?
Fucking hell.
And to top it all, the general
manager is having a drink
on the terrace and Lois
hasn't stopped her.
What is going on?
It's 1:30 coming up.
Just out of interest,
why can't Kirsti jump in
and give us a hand on
such a big day?
No disrespect, but having
drinks with her mates,
you know, on a day like today,
what kind of message is
that serving?
Kirsti, can you help out?
No one's taking care
of the terrace.
One table's already left
because they wouldn't
have their order taken.
We just need general help.
- I'll just find out from
Lois where she wants me.
- It's an absolute nightmare.
And these poor men out here
are still waiting for
their main course.
I have to go and chase that one.
- Everyone should be handling
their fucking dick now,
you know that?
- Yeah.
- A week ago it was
pandemonium down here,
and fuck all happening upstairs.
Now it's pandemonium upstairs,
and everything's happening
here, you know that?
- Two oysters natural.
One oysters deep fried.
Two prawns.
- [Gordon] Lois is finally
getting control front of house.
She's cracking the whip
with her staff,
and getting them
working like a team.
For the first time in a week,
the customers have
been put first.
(speaking in foreign language)
- What an
improvement (laughing).
(speaking in foreign language)
- It's very nice to see
more fish on the menu,
particularly as we're
near to the sea.
- I'm enjoying it very much.
I love (speaking in
foreign language)
on both sides of the Channel.
- That is only what is left,
because of being French,
we have tucked ourselves in.
- Feel like a millionaire.
- [Gordon] Stuart and the
chefs have pulled it off.
- It's thanks to these guys,
as well.
- [Gordon] Now they face
the French team
in the oyster eating
competition.
Special events that get
the restaurant
noticed and talked about
are a great way
to bring in more customers.
Welcome to the first ever
Sandgate versus Sangatte
oyster shucking competition.
(crowd cheering)
Which, within five minutes,
you're going to have to open
and eat as many
oysters as possible.
Go!
(bright music)
If Lois and Peter can make
this an annual competition,
it would help improve
Anglo-French relations,
and do their restaurant a
power of good into the bargain.
One minute to go!
(crowd cheering)
Three, two, one,
stop!
(crowd cheering)
28 for the French!
(crowd cheering)
And.
- Hey, what is all about that?
- Excuse me, please.
And Peter, for the Sandgate
English, how many please?
- I'm afraid we only did 76.
(all cheering)
(crowd applauding)
- Well done, Sangatte,
thank you.
Okay.
Cheers, Sangatte.
(crowd laughing)
Jesus, she's trying to
drag me back to France.
(bright music)
(crowd laughing)
Today's been a great
launchpad for the restaurant.
Now it's up to Lois to take
the place forward and run it
like a business, not like
her living room.
Stay on top of them, yeah?
I saw it a week ago,
thinking god, you know,
you may own the place,
but you're not running it.
You've got to run it and own it.
There's a big difference.
- There is.
- Yeah, and don't fall in love
with it, because it's a job.
- Quite.
- Yeah.
You've got to keep at
them and on them,
and at them, and on them,
and at them.
But for my money,
Stuart's the hero.
When he lost his rosette
earlier this week,
I thought I'd lost him.
But all credit to him,
he's pulled it round.
You deserve to make it yours.
- Yeah.
- Stick to what you know
you can do properly.
- Yeah.
- [Gordon] And stand
firm on that one.
Hey, you still look
like Jimmy Nail.
- What is it, the nose or
the accent or?
- The accent.
- The accent?
- Can you sing?
- Yeah.
- Give us a song.
♪ While beer and spirits
all the time ♪
They've got six weeks
until I come back.
I hope they're still
singing then.
♪ Lucy's always on my mind. ♪
(dramatic music)
At the beginning of the summer,
I spent a week at the
Sandgate Hotel.
God, it looks like something
out of a porn movie.
(waitress laughing)
I couldn't work out if it
was a comedy or a tragedy.
- Four minutes on a bison
garnish, please.
- [Gordon] I
simplified the food,
got the owner to run the
place like a business.
- I must, must be heard
and taken notice of.
- Okay.
- And made a splash
at the relaunch.
(crowd cheering)
Six weeks later, I'm back.
(bright music)
Good morning.
- Hello, big boy.
- How are you?
- Good, how are you?
- I'm very well, thank you.
Lois at the helm,
that's a good sign.
- Hello, Gordon.
- Are you well?
- I am well, thanks, yes.
- Here's what I caught
earlier, present for Stuart.
Good to see you both.
- Very nice.
- I'm sure he'll be delighted.
- Is he downstairs?
- Yup, he is.
- Fucking hell.
- What do you mean,
fucking hell?
That's not a nice reception.
- How you doing?
How you doing?
- Very well, thank you.
How are you?
- Very well, huh?
- How are you?
- Yeah, good, good.
- Will you put that in the
fridge, and we'll have a,
we'll have a chat
about that later.
The last time I was here,
the staff was spending two
grand a month in the bar.
And before I banned it,
Stuart was one of the
worst offenders.
What have you been spending
your money on per month
that you're not spending
upstairs in the bar?
- Decided to go out there
and have a little baby, man.
- No.
- Yeah.
- That's fantastic news.
- Yeah.
So I've been spending
too much time at home.
- See what happens?
- Uh-huh.
- That's great news.
In the kitchen, he's
got a new system
to tell the waiters upstairs
when the food is ready.
- It's a--
- Explain it to me.
- It's a vibrating system.
- A vibrating system?
- So if it's waiter number one,
we'll then press the
number one button,
it gives them a little tickle.
- [Gordon] All the waiters
are working with vibrators?
Fucking hell.
That's fantastic.
- Yeah.
- Huh?
And any waitresses need more,
sort of, jiggle in the nether.
- Yeah, I mean, if it
doesn't come out,
I just give them all a tickle,
like.
(Gordon laughing)
- And one thing very interesting
is that the customers
that come now.
- [Gordon] Yes?
- Are not that people
that we had before.
They're totally different.
It's been an amazingly.
- Which is great news.
- Good week.
Really fantastic.
- [Gordon] It's great
to see Lois and Peter
moving the business forward
with new customers
and new ideas.
- We've had the till moved from
downstairs, when we closed,
when you were here, when
we closed down,
we had someone do all rewiring
and put this till in here.
- [Gordon] But crucially,
how's the new menu doing?
- I don't know if the
boys told you,
but on Friday we sold
out of seafood.
- 40 covers on Tuesday and
50 covers on Wednesday, so.
- You know, selling
out of seafood,
you know, we never
used to do that.
- Can the business survive?
- If it continues going
on like this now, yes.
- [Gordon] Since I
was last here,
turnover's nearly doubled
to 14 1/2 grand a week,
so they must be getting
something right.
Good.
Time to find out for myself.
I'm going to have a look at the,
um.
- [Waitress] Bar menu?
Bar menu, but I'm not
going in there to eat.
- Oh no, you can eat it
in here, that's fine.
- Oh wow, that's great.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
That's a big breakthrough.
Christ, I'm in the same
place I was a month ago?
And Lois is outside, as a
host, checking customers
coming through and
arranging the table plan,
and almost slightly
looking concerned,
which I like to see her worried.
That means she's moving her ass.
- I think it's going
much better.
It's much calmer.
The whole system is working.
- The first time he
came to eat here,
he was chewing on
raw sushi rice.
- [Gordon] I want to see
if the big bad Geordie
has regained his
passion for food.
(pan sizzling)
So I've challenged him
to cook me something
special with my sea bass.
(soft music)
- Looks all right (laughing).
Well, it looks more
successful than the last time.
- [Waitress] Here is your
sea bass in a cream sauce.
- Go on, then.
- What?
- No, just a thanks.
Let me ask you a question first.
- Yeah, go on.
- What did you think of
the sea bass?
- Well, I thought it was
following along the themes,
we're straightforward, not
complicating the flavours.
I think if I was to have
that dish on the menu,
I think it would probably
fly out the door.
- I thought the dish was
absolutely fantastic.
- Yeah?
- I really enjoyed it.
- Excellent.
- I mean,
that was the best
dish I've eaten
out of the Sandgate Hotel
since I've been here.
(both laughing)
Next time I see you.
- Yeah?
- You're going to have a
baby girl, or a baby boy.
- You know what it is?
- Go on.
- Remember that day
where I had that,
that oyster eating contest?
- Yes.
- I think that was it.
- That was the night, was it?
- I think it might have been.
- That sea bass was memorable.
What more could you ask?
- Right.
- [Gordon] And don't tell
him, I didn't really catch it.
I bought it from the
fucking fishmonger.
I really think this can
work, you know that?
They've got all the ingredients,
and I think they can really
put this place back on the map
and be a great
seaside restaurant.
It needs a lot of hard
work and understanding
that your customers are
fucking important.
Nothing more than that.
(bright music)
(knife slicing)
---
- [Gordon] How many
people does it take to run
a small seaside hotel
and restaurant?
I've never seen so many
fucking managers,
supervisors, head
receptionists, and sous chefs.
I'm absolutely gobsmacked.
In this week's Nightmares,
I check into a real life
Fawlty Towers to find out.
Thank you.
God, it looks like something
out of a porn movie.
(waitress laughing)
(bright music)
- I can't physically taste
everything within the kitchen
or I'll end up like a big air
balloon, I would have thought.
- I've spoken to the
restaurant manager.
- Yes.
- And I've spoken to the food
and beverage manager.
- Yes,
now you're speaking to me.
- And now I'm talking
to the general manager.
Fucking wake up, will you, yeah?
Wake up!
(dramatic music)
(blade whizzing)
(blade ringing)
(whimsical music)
The Sandgate Hotel is
perched on a gorgeous
stretch of the Kent coast.
It's 24 miles from France,
but a million miles from being
a good hotel and restaurant.
The Sandgate Hotel.
What a great spot.
It's got 15 rooms and a coveted
AA rosette for it's food,
and I'm checking in.
First test of any hotel
is the reception,
always a great sign of
how it's run.
(voices murmuring)
Hello.
Thank you.
Sorry, are you, you
on the phone?
- Yeah, it's urgent.
- It's urgent?
- No.
I'll tell him that
I'm going now.
- Tell him there's a customer.
- Sorry.
I'll see you on Tuesday.
Yeah, bye-bye now.
You're in room number four.
- [Gordon] Thank you.
(whimsical music)
Three years ago, Lois
and Peter Hamilton Slade
pooled their life savings
and bought the Sandgate.
At the moment, this place is
losing around two grand a week,
so Peter has had to
keep his engineering job
while Lois runs the hotel
and restaurant.
You've obviously run
restaurants before.
- No.
- Never?
- Never have.
- Or small guesthouses, then?
- [Peter] No.
- Never?
- Never.
This is our first, first effort.
- [Lois] This is the restaurant.
Oh, it's very small, isn't it?
- Yes.
- [Gordon] It's very small.
Lois has gone from selling
perfume at Gatwick Airport
to managing this small
boutique hotel by the sea.
And the food comes up
through the stairs?
- No, it comes through here.
- Okay.
- Dumbwaiter.
- Yeah.
- Dumbwaiter.
A husband and wife team running
a hotel and a dumbwaiter.
Hazoo.
Fucking hell, all the
food comes out of there?
- Yeah, to the kitchen.
Restaurant to the kitchen.
- That must be a nightmare, no?
- It seems to work very well.
- Does it?
- Yeah.
- [Gordon] Extraordinary,
it's not just one restaurant.
There's also a terrace barbecue,
a bar,
and Kent's first Japanese
restaurant in the basement.
It's a strange mix,
but they do have one thing
in common, no customers.
How long can it survive?
- If we don't have a
very good summer,
oh I don't think we'll
get through the winter.
- And if the shit hits the
fan and it doesn't take place
and we have a crap
summer, what do you lose?
- Probably quarter of a million.
- Sometimes we've had comments
that the food is inconsistent.
I think that is a lot of the
case when Stuart's not here.
- And Stuart's the?
- Head chef.
- [Gordon] Head chef.
The Japanese chef,
where's he from?
- It's the same chef, Stuart.
- It's the same one.
- The same chef.
- We haven't got a
Japanese chef.
- But you've got a
Japanese restaurant.
- [Both] Yes.
- Hello, there.
- How are you?
- Very well, thanks.
- And?
- Stuart.
- Stuart.
38 from Northumberland, he's
been here for six months.
It's his first head chef's job.
But since he's got here,
he's started hearing voices.
(radio mumbling)
What's that?
- Yeah.
Right, coming up.
- [Man] Thank you, guys.
- It's like my little
system of communication.
- Is it like that all night?
- [Stuart] Yeah.
- How do you
concentrate with that?
- I try and ignore it as
much as possible.
- [Gordon] Fucking hell.
Does it not drive you
around the bend?
- [Stuart] Yeah.
- Is that order for table nine?
- Table eight.
- Oh.
- Hello?
- Wait, nine.
- Yeah?
- Hello?
- Can you fuck off and
do some work?
Four restaurants, 168
dishes, and one kitchen.
Time to taste the food.
Okay, thank you.
And there are the,
the specials.
- The specials?
Yes, that's the a la carte.
- And the a la carte?
- Can I have a look at the
Japanese menu, as well, please?
Of course you can.
- Thank you.
Four in tonight, Saturday
night, for dinner.
- Sorry, just to let you know,
we don't actually serve
Japanese in this restaurant.
Just to let you know.
- Right.
And so I'll go downstairs
for my starter
and then come back here
for my main course.
- I need to see the food
and beverage manager,
see what I can do for you.
- Food and beverage manager?
- Yes.
(bright music)
- Dear oh dear.
I mean, what a way of
pissing customers off.
Are you the food and
beverage manager?
- Yeah.
- And sorry, first name?
- Kevin.
- Kevin.
So you really want me
to go downstairs
and have my sushi there?
- That's what I've been
told by the general manager.
- And who's that?
- That's Kirsti.
- Kirsti.
Let me have a word with Kirsti.
- Yeah.
- Thank you very much.
Fuck me.
It's extraordinary.
I've spoken to the
restaurant manager.
- Yes.
- I've spoken to the food
and beverage manager.
- Yes,
and now you're speaking to me.
- And now I'm talking
to the general manager.
Have you ever watched
Fawlty Towers?
- Yes.
- Yeah.
- Hi, tell them
Japanese starters.
- [Gordon] We've got three
managers, two waitresses,
but only four customers.
The numbers just don't add up.
(voices murmuring)
(glasses clinking)
The rice is hard.
What a cock up.
But it's not the only one.
Next, chicken from the a
la carte menu.
(upbeat music)
Thank you.
God, it looks like something
out of a porn movie.
(waitress laughing)
It's enough to make
your eyes water.
Excuse me, waitress,
I'm missing my bollocks.
- [Waitress] The potatoes
are just coming.
(Gordon laughing)
It doesn't taste of chicken.
It tastes of tomato.
It's like sun dried
tomatoes running through it,
but they're so, so strong.
Not for me.
The maki rolls, who made them?
- [Cook] I did.
- And how old are you?
- 18.
- 18.
- So you don't taste everything
that this 18 year old cook.
- I can't physically taste
everything within the kitchen,
or I'll end up like a, a
big air balloon,
I would have thought.
I like the.
(all laughing)
I like, I like to obviously
taste as much as I can.
- [Gordon] A head chef
who doesn't taste his food
is asking for trouble.
I've never seen anyone
cut it before.
It's the only way to maintain
control and keep up standards.
Plenty of time.
- I think that the rice
is underdone.
- Thank you.
That's all, it's really
important for you and I
to obviously stay on the level.
- Like I say, you can
see I'm not Japanese.
- You're kidding.
- I'm not trying
to dig a hole and try and escape
for your sushi, that was,
I've still got in my teeth.
(bright music)
(waves crashing)
- Stuart doesn't want
to cook Japanese food.
The people of Sandgate don't
want to eat Japanese food.
So why in the hell have they
got a Japanese restaurant?
This place doesn't know
what it's doing,
and that's clearly down
to one thing,
bad management.
Lois has got more
managers than the Ritz.
But I can't work out
who's running this place,
and I've got a sneaky feeling
no one else can, either.
The business is in
danger of closing.
I don't think you actually
know how dire the situation is.
The amount of management
and the amount of staff
in such a small place, I've
never seen it in my entire life.
You know that?
I've never been so
confused with supervisors
and managers and head
receptionists.
You're running this hotel
like a 350 bedroom
five star deluxe.
And the most important
worry is no one
seems to be controlling it.
I've come up with an exercise
to try and find out who
is in charge.
Drop this stone in the
bucket of the person
you think is in control
of the Sandgate Hotel.
- The whole organisation?
- [Gordon] The whole
organisation.
Oh dear, he's gone past all
the managers, and ignored Lois.
Okay.
Next, Luca, the
restaurant manager.
Surely he must know.
He's just picked the
head receptionist.
Next up is Kevin, the
food and beverage manager.
- Have more stones?
- [Gordon] Can you
have more stones?
- Yes, everybody should be
running it, that's the point.
- Everybody should
be running it?
- [Kevin] Yeah, it
should be run as a group.
- That's what I'm trying
to get through now.
That's the problem.
Everybody is running it, and
there's no one controlling it.
Okay.
- A voice from the top.
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
And you hit the nail
on the head.
That's what's exactly
fucking happening.
Everybody's trying to run it,
and they're not doing
their own jobs.
So, interesting.
We're all here now and
there's five of you
that have got stones in
your buckets.
So, already there's a
conflicting message.
If this business is to survive,
Lois need to take command of it.
She's got a few stones,
but she's got no bollocks.
If she doesn't grow a pair,
the hotel is going to
be washed up.
(dramatic music)
The Sandgate Hotel in Kent
has lost 33,000 pounds
in the first four
months of this year.
But while Rome burns, Lois
and Peter, the owners,
seem determined to eat,
drink, and be merry.
Meal, after meal,
after meal.
- My brief when I started was
it's run like Lois and
Peter's living room.
And that's how they wanted it.
That's basically
what I was told.
- It was?
Run it as if it's their lounge?
- Basically.
- [Gordon] Running a
hotel and restaurant
is not the same as eating
and drinking in one.
Lois and Peter bought a dream.
Now they need to wake
up to the fact
that it's a business, not
a second home.
Day three at Sandgate Towers,
and a chance to see the
terrace barbie.
Fucking hell.
Hardly a day for
fucking barbecue.
I feel like I'm a fucking
car boot sale.
Stuart's worked in some
good kitchens in his career,
but they get him to set
up a portable barbie.
It's heart-breaking.
You're not gonna get any
customers today.
- I will.
- For fuck's sake,
flies in that fucking thing.
Surely they can't make their
head chef suffer any more.
- The kitchen.
(Gordon laughing)
- Kitchen, are you there?
Are we all set?
(radio mumbling)
- Give us, oh, four minutes
on a bison garnish, please.
- [Gordon] Where's that to,
Calais?
This place is like a jigsaw,
but none of the pieces fit.
Freeing set up, so he's
out there on the barbecue,
and you're left to
run the kitchen.
- Yes.
- Fucking hell.
You're 20 years of age,
you're 18 years of age.
I mean, how come you've got
all that responsibility?
And what happens when it's busy?
- We'll be in the shit.
- [Gordon] Who would put someone
who's clearly a good chef
in charge of a barbecue?
Time to find out from
the manager.
But which one?
Kirsti, the general manager,
is Lois' daughter-in-law.
Before coming to Britain,
she worked in restaurants
in her native New Zealand.
The barbecue, how would
you describe that?
- My aim was for kiwi barbecue.
- I thought that.
That sort of territorial,
- Salads.
- Kiwi beach life.
- Something like that, yeah.
- But, sweetheart, we're
not in fucking Auckland.
- I know.
- We're in Sandgate.
The lack of focus in
this place is astounding.
Lois hasn't even got
her flagship
fine dining restaurant
under control.
The majority of the
complaints that come through
are normally on your day off.
Have you ever eaten in
the restaurant?
No.
- Because if the complaints
are going on when
you're not here,
you've got to see what they're
serving in the dining room
so you can really do
something about it properly.
- Yeah.
- And identify it.
Are we too complicated?
Is the menu too big?
Are they inexperienced?
Do we need to simplify it?
What do I need to do
as a head chef?
You're the food and
beverage manager,
have you ever eaten up here?
- No.
- How can you relate to
your customers' experience
if you're not
experiencing the same time.
Go upstairs, order.
- Yeah.
- I think you'll find
something very interesting
going on there.
- [Stuart] Yeah.
- [Gordon] Kirsti hasn't
worked at the sharp end
of the business for
about eight months,
so today she's going
to waitress.
I don't know what's on
and what's off,
but I'm sure you do.
Stuart's number two in the
kitchen is 21 year old Johnny.
(meat sizzling)
So what's going first, Johnny?
- I'm going to send this
bar food first,
and then the starters.
The bread's just gone
up for the two,
but I can't find anyone to
take it out of the lift yet.
- God.
Is it always like this?
- Yeah.
- [Gordon] Johnny runs the
kitchen two days a week,
when Stuart's off.
This is my chance to
see how he copes.
Come on, guys,
that's 10 minutes those
plates have been there.
We're fucking around
with the garnish.
They're a young team to be
cooking such elaborate food.
And just to add to it, Johnny,
they ordered it over
one hour ago.
Yeah?
- Yeah.
- [Gordon] Let's get
it out, guys, come on.
(dishes clattering)
Careful.
I'm not going to allow
you to send this.
This is really important
for you, you know that,
from a professional
point of view.
Because you've got to get
all the way up to the top
in this fucking industry.
Not serving shit like that,
big boy.
And all you're doing by
serving that shit is,
hey, destroying the place.
And that's just on a
fucking burger.
And I know you can do
better than that,
you know that?
- I know I can do better.
- There you go, so
fucking do it.
- [Johnny] Yeah.
- [Gordon] There are only
nine customers in for lunch,
but it's well over an hour
before Stuart and Kevin
get their mains.
- Undercooked.
(radio beeping)
That bell's annoying, isn't it?
- [Kevin] Try working up here.
- So did you get that
I cancelled my starter?
- Yes, and mine.
- Yeah.
- [Gordon] Unfortunately,
Kevin and Stuart aren't
the only unhappy customers.
Johnny, table nine
have popped off.
They've gone.
That's the table that
had no starters
and went straight for
the main courses.
Where's the ticket gone?
- In the bin.
- Why have you put
it in the bin?
- I didn't put it, that's
where it's ended up.
- Fucking wake up, will you,
yeah?
Wake up.
This is one of the worst
lunch services I've ever seen.
Johnny's tried his best, but
the real culprit is clear.
It's Stuart's food.
It's just far too complicated.
- Certainly been educational,
to say the least.
- [Gordon] Stuart's had
a shock upstairs, too.
- I never thought I would be
so, I actually walked out.
- You walked out?
- Yeah.
- Fucking hell, why did
you walk out?
- Because I seen someone
else eating my dessert
that I'd been waiting
for 35 minutes.
- [Gordon] A head chef walking
out of his own restaurant,
this place has sunk about
as low as it can go.
Morning.
How are you?
(bright music)
Stuart's seen firsthand
what's wrong upstairs.
I think the best people to tell
him what's wrong downstairs
are his own brigade.
But I think the young chefs
like this softhearted Geordie
so much they've been
too afraid to pipe up,
in case they hurt his feelings.
It's time they told their
boss a few home truths.
So, whoever catches a bass
today, as you catch that bass,
you turn around openly
and tell Stuart something.
You've got a lot to say,
haven't you?
- [Stuart] What happens
if I catch one?
Who can I cry to?
(Gordon laughing)
- Fucking me, big boy.
(all laughing)
- [Johnny] Here we go.
Come on.
- Here he comes.
Here he is.
- Come to daddy.
- It's a bass.
- Oh!
- [Gordon] Well done,
round of applause.
Whee.
More importantly, what
have you got to say?
- All right, Stuart.
- [Gordon] Quickly,
because Luke's in.
- You've got a lovely menu,
but there's too much of it.
- [Gordon] Thank you.
Well done, Luke.
Whee.
Well done, Luke.
What have you got to
tell the chef?
- I just think that the menu's
nice and that, there's just,
I think there's too many
garnishes, really, for the
dishes.
- No problems, there.
Thanks for telling us.
- [Luke] That's all it is,
really.
- [Gordon] At 38,
Stuart's old to have just got
his first head chef's job,
and I think he's
desperate to impress.
- If we simplify it,
I think we can get the
taste a lot better,
and we can get the stuff
looking so much better
instead of having to try and
rush it out all the time.
I just don't like the
service being manic,
because I know that I
can do better myself,
and I know the rest of us can.
- Yeah.
(soft music)
- [Gordon] Great, they're
starting to enjoy themselves.
Team spirit's vital to
a good kitchen.
- Nice one.
- Nice.
Yes.
- [Gordon] Well done, Johnny,
two of the biggest fish so far.
The only one pissed off is me.
Four hours on the
English Channel
and I didn't catch a thing.
Sandgate is twinned
with Sangatte,
a French town 24 miles
across the channel.
But instead of seeking
inspiration from France,
Lois and Kirsti have got
the chefs cooking food
from New Zealand and and
Japan, 6,000 miles away.
(bright music)
My plan is to bring them home.
Sea bass.
You're not gonna get
any better, any fresher,
quality ingredients than that.
It's on your doorstep.
And that's what we need
to take advantage of.
Stuart's sea bass fish
on the a la carte menu
has 15 ingredients,
which is why the boys
struggle so much with it.
I'm going to show them a
simpler version
with just five ingredients.
And then just let the
knife do the work.
And through.
In.
(pan sizzling)
Back on the stove.
I think what I'm trying
to do is just show you
how easy it can be,
one person can do this.
Narrow down the
complexity of it,
and it can be done within
three or four minutes,
you know that, yeah?
Sea bass.
And the dish is going
to be just as exciting
with less on there because
we're concentrating
on the sea bass being hot,
the dish being less
complex, and the flavour.
Lois has been guilty of putting
unrealistic demands on Stuart.
No chef with a small team can
cook 168 dishes really well.
We've got to convince her
and Peter that less is more.
- That's really good.
- Superb.
- [Gordon] The sea bass
has won them over.
But there's bad news.
- We, sadly, had a
letter this morning
to say that we've lost
our AA rosette.
- Oh.
- Have you got the
letter with you?
- I have, yes.
- Sorry.
- [Lois] It was for
the food guide.
- Right.
One AA rosette is
awarded for food
cooked with care and skill.
But forced to cook for
four restaurants,
Stuart has slipped below
that standard.
It's a kick in the
bollocks for any chef.
There's no two ways about that.
But in a way it's a clean start.
You turn the page.
We'll make it less
complex, and we go again.
Fucking hell.
Oh, dear.
We haven't got long to
turn this place around,
and I'm worried.
I don't know if the big
friendly giant
will be able to pick
himself up from this one.
- Bad news, yeah?
We just lost the rosette.
- What does that mean?
- It's gone.
They've taken it away.
I'm gutted.
What can we do?
It's a kick in the teeth.
It's a bullet to the heart.
- [Gordon] If Lois
isn't careful,
it won't just be Stuart's
professional pride down the pan.
Less is more on the
plate, and in the hotel.
We need to simplify everything
so what's left can sparkle.
- Fucking hell.
- [Gordon] The weakest link
is the Japanese restaurant.
How's it going?
- It's going.
- How's it going?
- Up and down.
- Up and down.
It's costing more to
staff than it's making.
Last week it took
just 290 pounds.
- I can't believe.
- And I'm personally
worried about it.
And what about you?
- It's tough here.
- [Gordon] Uh-huh.
I think we're in love
with the idea
more than we are with the
success of the business.
And my idea is to close it.
And to stop haemorrhaging money.
- What would you suggest
we did with it?
- Here?
I think you've got a perfect
room for private dining,
an overspill from
the restaurant.
- That's a good idea,
it's a fantastic idea.
- And I think, whether
he's got the bollocks
to tell you or not, I'm
going to tell you,
he's not very
comfortable cooking it.
He's not a fucking
Japanese chef.
(energetic music)
He's a Geordie.
(bright music)
I've put the food back
on the road to recovery
and got rid of that
stupid Japanese.
But front of house is
still a shambles.
- Hello, when, when
did you book?
- When we arrived this evening.
- Oh, okay, no problems.
Well, I do have some
space for you, okay,
but I don't have your wine list.
I'm sorry.
- [Gordon] Sorting out the
chaotic customer service
is too much even for me.
- Would you like to take a seat?
- [Gordon] Basil Fawlty
wouldn't like it,
but what this place needs
is a Frenchman.
Fuck me, am I happy to see you.
- Hello.
- Are you well?
- I'm very well.
- Yeah?
I'd like to introduce
you to Jean-Baptiste,
he's my maitre d
from Claridge's.
Jean-Baptiste is in
charge of 70 waiters.
If there's anyone who can help
Lois organise the restaurant,
it's him.
Right, let's have a look
at the dumbwaiters.
- The service area.
- [Gordon] He'll take
control upstairs
while I help Stuart keep
things shipshape downstairs.
- Where the food comes up
from the kitchen
and to the restaurant.
- So customers can hear
the waitresses talking
and the restaurant
manager talking.
And the buzzer also sort of,
(buzzer beeping)
there you go, it goes right
through the dining room.
(buzzer beeping)
- [Lois] Now, when the first,
or any intercom.
(buzzer beeping)
- [Gordon] Within
minutes of arriving,
Jean-Baptiste bans the
intercom system.
From now on, the waiters
will have to go downstairs
and talk to the chefs
face to face.
- Would you like to
come through?
- Hello, monsieurs, how are you?
- [Gordon] Even the basics
aren't looked after here.
Luca, the restaurant manager,
hasn't got enough cold
water for lunch.
- Yeah, because you're
going to run out of water
very quickly, my friend, no?
I mean, you got two
bottles of water.
- [Luca] But what I would do,
I would give them tumblers
with ice and lemon.
(bottles clanking)
- And what if they don't
want any ice and lemon?
- Give it to them warm,
unfortunately.
- Yeah, but this is a
fucking disgrace, no?
- Unfortunately.
- How are you
going to do that?
Luca, Luca, those glasses,
they are fucking dirty.
Look at that.
All right, this is what we
need to change,
Luca.
- It will pan out.
- It's, we have to be
customer orientated, Okay?
- [Gordon] Front of house have
had absolutely no leadership
or quality control from Lois.
- Oh, of course.
- You prefer
that I take the menu?
- You are the owner.
- Okay.
- You get the restaurant
manager or some waiter
to bring them in there, okay?
When you're here, you're
here to be here,
facing the customers,
welcoming them, okay?
Welcome home, you know?
- Oh, this is just gettin'
harder to do.
- No, welcome home.
- [Gordon] The first
check is in.
You all right?
Not too hard?
Clear face to face
communication like this
should cut out all the wrong
orders and misunderstandings.
Okay, that wasn't difficult,
was it?
What's it like having the
tickets in the kitchen now,
in your hands?
- I feel more in control.
- You feel in control?
- I can spend a little
bit more time cooking,
which is what I'm best at.
- That's fucking banned, guys.
Look, hello.
Yeah, no one touches that
fucking thing.
Okay?
- You need to pick up the
bread and the butter now.
So who is going to do it,
if not?
Kevin, who's going to do it?
Him?
- Yeah.
- They work here.
- They're working here?
So what do you mean,
they're working here?
Your staff is coming
in like that?
- [Gordon] A member of
staff ignoring Lois
and heading for the bar, and
she hasn't batted an eyelid.
What's going on?
- [Jean-Baptiste] You're
the fucking owner.
- Exactly.
- They did not
even say hello to you.
Can you believe that?
- No.
- How's it going?
- It's a fucking nightmare.
It's bad organisation, it's
a lack of communication,
lack of team, team spirit,
team leader.
Nobody knows what they're doing.
The the waiter is
managing the the owner.
The owner doesn't know
what she's doing.
And it's a fucking mess.
It's a mess.
- Yeah.
Jean-Baptiste has helped
reorganise the restaurant.
But he's also uncovered
the ultimate symptom
of everything that's wrong
with Lois's business.
Staff are allowed to
drink on the premises.
I need to get to the
bottom of this.
- They spend a lot of money in,
at the bar.
- They spend
over 2,000 pounds a
month on the bar.
- [Gordon] 2,000 pounds a month?
Fuck me.
500 quid a week on staff drinks?
- [Lois] That's what they spend.
- Have you become
dependent on that?
- Possibly.
I guess, to a degree, we sat
down and looked at, you know,
how much we were earning off
of them at the end of the day.
You know, it reduces
the salary bill.
- It's even worse
than I thought.
Because how on earth are you
going to get the message across
when you're treading on
eggshells to not upset them
because they're going
to be spending
2,000 pound a month in the bar.
Fucking hell.
I've never heard anything
so pathetic in all my life.
Everyone's taking the piss.
And maybe there is an advantage
of having too many staff,
because they're spending
2,000 pounds a month
in the fucking bar, drinking.
And clearly, that's keeping
the business afloat.
(dramatic music)
(upbeat music)
The Sandgate Hotel in Kent
is in serious trouble.
It's got a great location
and a great chef,
but an owner who hasn't got
a clue how to run a business.
I'm in the midst of
trying to rescue it.
Fucking wake up, will you, yeah?
Wake up.
In just two days time, we're
relaunching the restaurant
with a French flavour.
We're holding an oyster
eating competition
against a French team
from Sangatte.
But I've discovered that owner
Lois and her manager Kirsti
are getting the basics wrong.
They allow their staff to
use the bar as a common room,
which is a surefire way to
drive your customers away.
- It is our fault.
We have done it wrong.
I do, I can absolutely see it
that we have done it wrong.
Because it's building up,
it's getting more and
more familiar.
They're more and more
drinking going.
And sometimes people, there
are so many staff here
that the customers can't
get to the bar.
- [Gordon] The staff are
spending over 24 grand a year
on booze and fags.
But I'm putting a
stop to it now.
- [Lois] Once you've
finished your shift,
I'm afraid you cannot come
and sit in the bar and drink.
- Now that has huge
implications in this company.
I think you all know that.
That is massive.
- This business is not
run for staff.
And the owners no longer
are going to depend
on you guys put money in
behind the bar.
And secondly, you've got no
idea of the conflicting messages
it's sending to the customers.
And you can't serve a
member of the public,
and then go and sit in the
same bar and drink with them.
It's not good.
Never seen it in my entire life.
And it's got to stop.
This is not the drinking hole.
This is not a socialising gaffe.
- Can I just ask,
when you said staff
aren't allowed to drink,
does that mean their days off,
as well?
- Why does anyone want to
come here on their day off?
Let me tell you why, because
it's too fucking easy.
Let's go down to the Sandgate.
Let's sit there and
get blattered.
Let's sit on the terrace.
Let's sit, it's too comfy.
Haven't you got homes to go to?
It's just become too convenient,
I think we can all agree that.
Then when there's asses
to be kicked the next day,
and disciplinary to take place,
no one wants to listen
to the owners or Kirsti
because we've sort of had a
chat and had a drink over it,
and nothing's got done.
If this place has got
any hope of surviving
and going from
strength to strength
to identify the customers are
more important than the staff,
that has to stop.
- [Kirsti] Cheers.
Let's get back to work.
We're going to have to
be very careful, as well,
because, you know, there is a
tendency to come in here and,
you know, Lois and Peter
meet up in here at the end
of the day and, you know,
have a drink together.
We're, I guess, to a degree,
we're going to have to
lead by example.
- [Gordon] At last, someone's
talking about leading.
It's not Lois, but I think
we're getting somewhere.
- I'm going to have to
have a cigarette, man.
- [Gordon] You're kidding me.
But I'm still worried
about Stuart.
Since he lost the AA rosette,
his morale has hit rock bottom.
To have any chance of
pulling off the relaunch,
I need that Geordie giant
back from the dark side.
Regarding the accolade,
you'll fucking get it back,
and get it back properly,
without
trying to cook 168 dishes.
Get it back cooking a
menu that you can control.
(knife chopping)
Why do you shout so much?
- Get my point over with.
- Fucking hell.
I'm going to help him
devise a new menu
that's right for a
seaside hotel,
focusing on fresh fish
with a French twist.
If I came to sit in the bar,
or even sit in the
restaurant here,
I'd love a bowl of
monk fruit here.
I'd love a plat
of fruit de mer.
Yeah.
- I'd die for it, do
you know why?
Because I can relate
to the food,
because there's the fucking sea.
- Oh, it's ideal, like you said.
I mean, you know, and
price wise, as well,
ideally located to
buy fresh fish
for basically next to nothing.
- [Gordon] Oh, smell that.
(pan sizzling)
I'm waiting to see this
whole kitchen
just waft with the smell
of bouillabaisse.
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
The frogs will be swimming
across that channel
to get in here.
Yeah?
What about a nice big,
sumptuous, rich pear tatin?
Pears from Kent, bring a
little bit of fucking England
meets France, France
meets England.
Where's the sugar?
- There.
- Oh, right.
Oh, tawny.
Just smell that there, the
cardamom seeds.
That's lovely.
Okay.
Mm.
As well as a new menu, we
also need new customers.
So, Saga.
The biggest employer in town,
with nearly 1,000 workers
just around the corner from
the restaurant, is Saga.
Look.
Armed with two dozen oysters,
we've come to turn them
on to fresh seafood.
- They're very nice.
- That's delicious.
- [Gordon] Anything
happening downstairs?
(women laughing)
No, in your tummy.
Are you feeling sort of
warm and sexy?
- [Stuart] All the
produce is local fish
that you can see from the
Sandgate Hotel.
The same with the oysters.
- That's gorgeous.
- The same with the crab
- That's beautiful.
- It's good to start talking
about the other
things on the menu.
The idea of just getting
them sort of up to speed
with the oysters is
for you then to sort of
let them know about everything
else going on, yeah?
It's essential the
restaurant attracts locals
who are still around when
the tourists go home.
These are the people who
will keep the business afloat
in the winter.
Can I ask a question?
- Yeah.
- How's your sex life?
- Colourful.
- [Gordon] Perfect.
Let me get you some oysters.
(both laughing)
Straight down.
How is it, nice?
- Lovely.
- And there's an added
bonus for you.
(all laughing)
They've got the most
amazing bedrooms upstairs
if things have gone to plan.
Word of mouth is the
best publicity
you can get in the
restaurant trade.
And hopefully we've just set
a thousand tongues wagging.
- I'll only go for a second.
- All right.
- Tuna, small or large?
It's on the menu as two sizes.
- [Gordon] But Lois' front of
house team are still flapping.
She treats them like her
extended family,
and seems afraid to
discipline them.
It's got to change.
And I've been racking my
brains out all fucking week
on how Lois can get really
strong with her staff,
and I've got a little idea.
(bright music)
(camera snapping)
Fucking hell.
Chin up.
Just one of them, one of
them, not all fucking 10.
(man laughing)
(camera snapping)
- No, that's going to
be terrible.
- [Gordon] You greasy fucker.
(camera snapping)
Lovely.
Assertiveness training,
chef style.
- The photos.
- Really tell him
exactly what you think of him.
- Luca, I think you're
an extremely nice person
and you are an asset
to the place.
- [Gordon] Oh dear, she's
more like mum than matron.
- Like I own it.
You have got to have
respect for me,
and I don't think you have.
- Yeah.
I think with him you've got
to get really to the point.
So I'm not going to
put that there.
Luca, every time I want
something, you do it.
Do as you're told, or look
for a new fucking job.
- Right.
Well.
- [Gordon] You don't have
to say fucking,
it's a chef's thing.
Fire away.
- Luca, it's time
that you learnt
I cannot put up with you
interrupting me all the time
and not doing what I ask you.
You work for me.
I do not work for you.
- [Gordon] Good, much better.
- [Lois] Chef, every time I
speak to you, you interrupt me.
It's absolutely gobsmacking and
it's incredibly bad manners.
Kevin, you'll come
steaming in and interrupt
and start talking over
the top of me.
Do not do it.
- [Gordon] Now we're
getting somewhere.
- I need respect from everybody.
Listen to what I'm telling you.
And for Christ's sake,
get on with it.
- [Gordon] Good, do you
feel any better?
- Yeah, it's lovely, isn't it?
- Do you?
(both laughing)
Now I want you to do
it for real.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
The real thing, we have
a quick word with Luca.
Tell him what you want,
tell him what you need,
and tell him how
important this to you,
and how he does his talk.
- Yes.
- Yeah, do you want me to
do it for you?
- No.
- Let's go.
(bright music)
- [Lois] Luca?
Is he here?
When I said to you, last
night, that Cynthia was to do
the ladies in the bar,
immediately you said to me
Cynthia mustn't do the ladies
in the bar, duh, duh, duh.
- It's like me and Kevin
coordinating the function,
then you come in, breaking
in with other instructions,
it's going to be too many
people giving instructions.
- I wasn't breaking in.
That's what I'm here to do.
I have to control it, Luca.
- Basically, in a nutshell,
just do as she says.
- Sure.
- And then if you've got
an issue with it, talk
to her after service.
But in the middle of
service, do as she says.
- Okay.
- I must,
must be heard and
taken notice of.
- Okay.
- Good.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Nice work, thank you.
- [Gordon] Lois has finally
discovered her inner chef,
and not a moment too soon.
That was so good, do as I say.
End of story.
In a few hours time, we
relaunch the restaurant.
And this menu here is
clear, straightforward,
can be eaten in the restaurant,
it can be eaten on the terrace,
and it can be eaten in the bar.
60 of the area's most
influential people
are coming for lunch,
so the chefs will need to
pull together like a team.
I've got here, for you guys,
the most amazing jackets,
spotless.
Guess what we're going to do
before we put those jackets on.
- I don't know.
- [Gordon] Go on.
- Are we going in the sea?
- We're going in the
sea, exactly (laughing).
We're going to have a
quick dip before lunch.
Who's up for it?
(whimsical music)
Come on!
We could all do with a
fucking shower.
(waves crashing)
- Hey!
- [Gordon] Well done, well done.
With great seafood on the menu,
the first to arrive, naturally
enough, are the French.
Welcome to the Sandgate Hotel.
(speaking in foreign language)
This is the team that
the chefs are taking on
in the oyster shucking
competition after lunch.
And it looks like they've
all been in training.
So this is (speaking in
foreign language),
sorry, Lois, excuse me.
(speaking in foreign language)
- [Stuart] One tuna,
large portion.
- [All] Yes, chef.
- One coq au vin.
- Yeah.
- [Gordon] With the
first orders in,
the kitchen swings into action.
That looks beautiful there.
Very nice.
- I think it's the hat.
- [Gordon] It's all in the hat,
yeah?
What a transformation
from a week ago.
The food's simple.
The chefs are calm, collected,
and working as a team.
(woman laughing)
But for Lois and her
waiters upstairs,
it's a different story.
- Excuse me.
(guests clamouring)
- [Gordon] It's going
pear shaped.
I've never seen them so
far in the shit upstairs,
you know that?
- All my guys
have came in early, at
the crack of dawn.
We had time to go for a swim.
We had time to go for
a swim before service.
But I'll tell you what, I
know who's swimming now.
Huh?
- [Gordon] I think
they're about to sink.
- [Stuart] Woop, woop, woop.
- [Gordon] I need to
find out what's happening
and stop the rot.
- No, that's not me.
(guests clamouring)
- [Gordon] Another wrong order
means more work for the chefs.
And we've got to cook the salmon
again, though, haven't we?
- Yeah, we had one--
- It's only a table of two.
If it was a table of
six, I can understand.
But one table of two's
ordered wrong before, come on.
- I know, it was the noise.
- Let's go.
Oh, come on.
(dish crashing)
Oh.
What is it?
There's glass everywhere.
Want me to start the
table again?
Fucking hell.
And to top it all, the general
manager is having a drink
on the terrace and Lois
hasn't stopped her.
What is going on?
It's 1:30 coming up.
Just out of interest,
why can't Kirsti jump in
and give us a hand on
such a big day?
No disrespect, but having
drinks with her mates,
you know, on a day like today,
what kind of message is
that serving?
Kirsti, can you help out?
No one's taking care
of the terrace.
One table's already left
because they wouldn't
have their order taken.
We just need general help.
- I'll just find out from
Lois where she wants me.
- It's an absolute nightmare.
And these poor men out here
are still waiting for
their main course.
I have to go and chase that one.
- Everyone should be handling
their fucking dick now,
you know that?
- Yeah.
- A week ago it was
pandemonium down here,
and fuck all happening upstairs.
Now it's pandemonium upstairs,
and everything's happening
here, you know that?
- Two oysters natural.
One oysters deep fried.
Two prawns.
- [Gordon] Lois is finally
getting control front of house.
She's cracking the whip
with her staff,
and getting them
working like a team.
For the first time in a week,
the customers have
been put first.
(speaking in foreign language)
- What an
improvement (laughing).
(speaking in foreign language)
- It's very nice to see
more fish on the menu,
particularly as we're
near to the sea.
- I'm enjoying it very much.
I love (speaking in
foreign language)
on both sides of the Channel.
- That is only what is left,
because of being French,
we have tucked ourselves in.
- Feel like a millionaire.
- [Gordon] Stuart and the
chefs have pulled it off.
- It's thanks to these guys,
as well.
- [Gordon] Now they face
the French team
in the oyster eating
competition.
Special events that get
the restaurant
noticed and talked about
are a great way
to bring in more customers.
Welcome to the first ever
Sandgate versus Sangatte
oyster shucking competition.
(crowd cheering)
Which, within five minutes,
you're going to have to open
and eat as many
oysters as possible.
Go!
(bright music)
If Lois and Peter can make
this an annual competition,
it would help improve
Anglo-French relations,
and do their restaurant a
power of good into the bargain.
One minute to go!
(crowd cheering)
Three, two, one,
stop!
(crowd cheering)
28 for the French!
(crowd cheering)
And.
- Hey, what is all about that?
- Excuse me, please.
And Peter, for the Sandgate
English, how many please?
- I'm afraid we only did 76.
(all cheering)
(crowd applauding)
- Well done, Sangatte,
thank you.
Okay.
Cheers, Sangatte.
(crowd laughing)
Jesus, she's trying to
drag me back to France.
(bright music)
(crowd laughing)
Today's been a great
launchpad for the restaurant.
Now it's up to Lois to take
the place forward and run it
like a business, not like
her living room.
Stay on top of them, yeah?
I saw it a week ago,
thinking god, you know,
you may own the place,
but you're not running it.
You've got to run it and own it.
There's a big difference.
- There is.
- Yeah, and don't fall in love
with it, because it's a job.
- Quite.
- Yeah.
You've got to keep at
them and on them,
and at them, and on them,
and at them.
But for my money,
Stuart's the hero.
When he lost his rosette
earlier this week,
I thought I'd lost him.
But all credit to him,
he's pulled it round.
You deserve to make it yours.
- Yeah.
- Stick to what you know
you can do properly.
- Yeah.
- [Gordon] And stand
firm on that one.
Hey, you still look
like Jimmy Nail.
- What is it, the nose or
the accent or?
- The accent.
- The accent?
- Can you sing?
- Yeah.
- Give us a song.
♪ While beer and spirits
all the time ♪
They've got six weeks
until I come back.
I hope they're still
singing then.
♪ Lucy's always on my mind. ♪
(dramatic music)
At the beginning of the summer,
I spent a week at the
Sandgate Hotel.
God, it looks like something
out of a porn movie.
(waitress laughing)
I couldn't work out if it
was a comedy or a tragedy.
- Four minutes on a bison
garnish, please.
- [Gordon] I
simplified the food,
got the owner to run the
place like a business.
- I must, must be heard
and taken notice of.
- Okay.
- And made a splash
at the relaunch.
(crowd cheering)
Six weeks later, I'm back.
(bright music)
Good morning.
- Hello, big boy.
- How are you?
- Good, how are you?
- I'm very well, thank you.
Lois at the helm,
that's a good sign.
- Hello, Gordon.
- Are you well?
- I am well, thanks, yes.
- Here's what I caught
earlier, present for Stuart.
Good to see you both.
- Very nice.
- I'm sure he'll be delighted.
- Is he downstairs?
- Yup, he is.
- Fucking hell.
- What do you mean,
fucking hell?
That's not a nice reception.
- How you doing?
How you doing?
- Very well, thank you.
How are you?
- Very well, huh?
- How are you?
- Yeah, good, good.
- Will you put that in the
fridge, and we'll have a,
we'll have a chat
about that later.
The last time I was here,
the staff was spending two
grand a month in the bar.
And before I banned it,
Stuart was one of the
worst offenders.
What have you been spending
your money on per month
that you're not spending
upstairs in the bar?
- Decided to go out there
and have a little baby, man.
- No.
- Yeah.
- That's fantastic news.
- Yeah.
So I've been spending
too much time at home.
- See what happens?
- Uh-huh.
- That's great news.
In the kitchen, he's
got a new system
to tell the waiters upstairs
when the food is ready.
- It's a--
- Explain it to me.
- It's a vibrating system.
- A vibrating system?
- So if it's waiter number one,
we'll then press the
number one button,
it gives them a little tickle.
- [Gordon] All the waiters
are working with vibrators?
Fucking hell.
That's fantastic.
- Yeah.
- Huh?
And any waitresses need more,
sort of, jiggle in the nether.
- Yeah, I mean, if it
doesn't come out,
I just give them all a tickle,
like.
(Gordon laughing)
- And one thing very interesting
is that the customers
that come now.
- [Gordon] Yes?
- Are not that people
that we had before.
They're totally different.
It's been an amazingly.
- Which is great news.
- Good week.
Really fantastic.
- [Gordon] It's great
to see Lois and Peter
moving the business forward
with new customers
and new ideas.
- We've had the till moved from
downstairs, when we closed,
when you were here, when
we closed down,
we had someone do all rewiring
and put this till in here.
- [Gordon] But crucially,
how's the new menu doing?
- I don't know if the
boys told you,
but on Friday we sold
out of seafood.
- 40 covers on Tuesday and
50 covers on Wednesday, so.
- You know, selling
out of seafood,
you know, we never
used to do that.
- Can the business survive?
- If it continues going
on like this now, yes.
- [Gordon] Since I
was last here,
turnover's nearly doubled
to 14 1/2 grand a week,
so they must be getting
something right.
Good.
Time to find out for myself.
I'm going to have a look at the,
um.
- [Waitress] Bar menu?
Bar menu, but I'm not
going in there to eat.
- Oh no, you can eat it
in here, that's fine.
- Oh wow, that's great.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
That's a big breakthrough.
Christ, I'm in the same
place I was a month ago?
And Lois is outside, as a
host, checking customers
coming through and
arranging the table plan,
and almost slightly
looking concerned,
which I like to see her worried.
That means she's moving her ass.
- I think it's going
much better.
It's much calmer.
The whole system is working.
- The first time he
came to eat here,
he was chewing on
raw sushi rice.
- [Gordon] I want to see
if the big bad Geordie
has regained his
passion for food.
(pan sizzling)
So I've challenged him
to cook me something
special with my sea bass.
(soft music)
- Looks all right (laughing).
Well, it looks more
successful than the last time.
- [Waitress] Here is your
sea bass in a cream sauce.
- Go on, then.
- What?
- No, just a thanks.
Let me ask you a question first.
- Yeah, go on.
- What did you think of
the sea bass?
- Well, I thought it was
following along the themes,
we're straightforward, not
complicating the flavours.
I think if I was to have
that dish on the menu,
I think it would probably
fly out the door.
- I thought the dish was
absolutely fantastic.
- Yeah?
- I really enjoyed it.
- Excellent.
- I mean,
that was the best
dish I've eaten
out of the Sandgate Hotel
since I've been here.
(both laughing)
Next time I see you.
- Yeah?
- You're going to have a
baby girl, or a baby boy.
- You know what it is?
- Go on.
- Remember that day
where I had that,
that oyster eating contest?
- Yes.
- I think that was it.
- That was the night, was it?
- I think it might have been.
- That sea bass was memorable.
What more could you ask?
- Right.
- [Gordon] And don't tell
him, I didn't really catch it.
I bought it from the
fucking fishmonger.
I really think this can
work, you know that?
They've got all the ingredients,
and I think they can really
put this place back on the map
and be a great
seaside restaurant.
It needs a lot of hard
work and understanding
that your customers are
fucking important.
Nothing more than that.
(bright music)
(knife slicing)