King of the Road (2016-…): Season 1, Episode 0 - Highway to Hell: 10 Years on the Road - full transcript
Catch up with the survivors as they recount the hard-won victories, epic embarrassments and pants-wettingly absurd scenarios that make this skate contest like no other.
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---
Please do not attempt to perform
any of these stunts
Or activities in this show.
They are super-dangerous --
crazy, wild dangerous.
The stunts seen are either
performed by professionals
Or under the supervision
of professionals.
Serious professionals.
This show
also contains bad language.
-King of the road!
-Here we go.
-Ooh!
-You want to fuck around?!
This is
how we fuck around.
"this packet is designed
to help you navigate
The kotr experience."
Here's our route.
We're going
to atlanta, georgia.
-A-town down.
-Yeah.
Man: Nashville, tennessee.
-Gaytopia.
-Gaytopia.
[ laughter, dog barking ]
[ cheering ]
That's fucked.
-Yeah!
-Yeah!
Look at this one --
hold hands, blunt, kickflip.
[ cheers and applause ]
-[ laughs ]
-ohh!
[ laughs ]
man: I want this
to be your best work.
I'm shaking
just looking at this.
[ laughter ]
Ow!
Fucked it.
Nobody wants
to do king of the road.
It's horrifying.
I banged my head
till I saw blood
-Oh!
-Oh!
♪
♪ I got my truck
stuck in the mud ♪
[ cheering ]
[ laughs ]
♪ I got my hair,
but it's long and bleached ♪
man: Yeah!
Man: Slow down!
[ cheering ]
♪ I come out here
so I could find some peace ♪
take a dump in the van.
Man: Oh, my god!
♪ some peace
King of the road is two weeks
of just madness.
[ screams ]
[ laughter ]
♪
It's a skateboarding
scavenger-hunt road trip.
♪ I took my bath
in a waterfall ♪
there's three teams
of top pro skaters,
And they all have to go
on different routes
Around america.
♪ I found some bullets,
but I shot 'em all ♪
And they try to accomplish
all these special challenges.
Some of those challenges
are based
On skateboarding's past...
♪ I can catch my food
just like a dog ♪
Whoo!
-Get over!
-Aah!
[ cheering ]
♪ met some people in town,
but they got me all wrong ♪
Thomas: Some are
life challenges, too,
Where you have to endure
certain painful experiences.
♪ all wrong
I guess I would kind of
call it a scavenger hunt
For debauchery...
[ cheering ]
And skateboarding tricks.
[ cheering ]
It's so psychotic.
I mean, you --
"you're gonna do what?"
Every challenge is
kind of set up
To almost get you beat up.
♪ she used to love me,
now she's not around ♪
[ all ohh ]
but that's what makes it fun.
King of the road,
to somebody who doesn't skate --
The craziest skateboarding
that exists.
♪ I can live my life
like a maniac ♪
[ cheers and applause ]
You have to be mentally
ready for it.
Like, "I'm gonna go on this trip
where I'm not gonna sleep.
I'm not gonna eat well.
I'm just gonna be skating
and doing crazy stuff."
[ laughter ]
Honestly, you have to punch
yourself a couple times.
"am I gonna do this?
Yeah!"
♪
Man: Whoo!
Once you say, "yes," like,
You're going
down the rabbit hole.
♪ you'll always try
to size me up ♪
And you can't go down
half-assed.
♪ but I'm too old
to give a fuck ♪
[ cheering ]
It ain't the road trip
where you go, "hey, guys.
Man, let's go up
to yosemite this weekend."
♪ you'll never have
a piece of this ♪
It's no spring break.
Man: It's not just about being
on your skateboard, you know?
It's about being
a dirtbag, too.
That's what I like about it.
It's king of the road, dude.
It's a fucked-up challenge.
It's just fucked-up stuff.
♪
[ cheering ]
♪
[ cheering ]
-Fuck, yes!
-Holy fuck!
[ cheering, whistling ]
Burnett:
Skateboarding's about hilarious
bullshit with your friends.
You know, just skating hard
and just laughing.
I love it.
So, usually, there's, like,
One page that has
all the keepers on it.
It's, like, the easiest way
to find the good stuff.
I put together
thrasher magazine,
Work with all the photographers,
plan issues and events,
And I'm also a photographer
and a writer.
I was a total disciple
of skateboarding
Well before I even imagined
I could get a job.
I started skateboarding
around 1986.
I loved thrasher
way before I worked for them.
I read thrasher
like it was the torah,
Studying it over and over again.
My wife used to do this
when we first met.
She could open any magazine
from the '80s,
And I could tell her
the caption.
Not just who it was,
but I could tell her the wording
Of the caption,
'cause it was like --
It was like staring
at that zeppelin album like,
"what does it mean?"
Phelps:
Thrasher has consistently been
the purest and rawest depiction
Of skateboarding
for the past 34 years.
They came along when we really
fucking needed them.
And they believed
in a bunch of fucking kids
That nobody believed in.
They've always made it a point
to provide a voice
For skateboarding that is,
like, you know, pretty accurate
To the ethos
of the young skater, you know?
"school sucks.
The cops are dicks."
I think thrasher steers,
like, the reader's attention
To, like, the rawness
of skateboarding.
Go fast. Get hurt.
Don't give a fuck.
That's, like, every kid's
little dream is, like,
To be in thrasher.
Lutheran: If you get the front
of a magazine that's respected,
There's something that went
into that, some hard work.
It's your certificate
of excellence, I guess...
[ chuckles ]
as cheesy as that sounds.
Like, I look at it, and I'm
still so stoked every time.
All the guys
I looked up to have been
On the front of this --
like, most all of them.
And then, to get
into that category --
That's just a dream come true,
straight up.
All the juice for thrasher.
♪
Thrasher is skateboarding.
Tony: The first time
I was actually in thrasher
Was when I was this big.
So, yeah, that happened.
My mom wasn't particularly
stoked on the sexy lady coaxing
Her probably 7-year-old
or 8-year-old kid.
Man: Oh, that's not --
that's not your mom?
No.
That's not my mom.
Just coming in here
with my dad,
It was an exciting place to be.
My dad's fausto vitello.
He came here from argentina,
And he was obsessed
with baseball.
And he actually learned
how to speak english
Listening to broadcasts
of the giants games.
He was a really
kind of multidimensional dude
That got into skating
much later in his life.
Thrasher was founded
in san francisco in 1981.
It's a family-owned
independent business.
I'd rather fucking die
before somebody, you know, be
A partner in thrasher
or something or have, like,
A stake in what we do.
We don't censor anything
to make it more palatable
For, like, an audience
outside of skateboarding.
Thrasher is fucking spirit
of skate and destroy.
Phelps: [ sighs ]
We moved to this building
in 1988.
I've been working
in this building since 1989,
But I've worked
for the mag for 30 years.
Thrasher is a cool
older brother -- you know,
Somebody who'll tell you
what it is, what it ain't.
You know, "don't go down
that street.
Don't hang out with that dude.
This kind of place sucks.
Don't ever go there.
The fucking parking blows.
That guy's a goon!
Don't fucking go there!
Bikers suck.
They always have."
It's just -- you know,
that's why thrasher is.
It exists
because it's the voice of reason
In the world full of mediocrity.
Thrasher was a little too heavy
for a lot of people --
That thrasher ideology
of, like, "fuck it.
We don't care."
And a lot of times, you know,
We just really didn't give
a shit.
You know,
if we spelled it wrong, oops.
"who won the contest?
We didn't get a photo?
Sorry."
We're still doing 220-page mags.
Nobody's doing that.
Why we stayed in business
all these years
Is the fact that we know
what we're doing.
No one tells us what's rad.
I told you that.
"jaws" -- the biggest ollie
in the world.
This should be
a king of the road challenge.
Kickflip that.
[ chuckles ]
Mike came at me with the concept
for king of the road in 2003.
My good friend chris cole and I
were just shooting the shit,
And he's like, "what about a
skateboarding 'cannonball run?'"
And I'm like, "yeah!"
We just started, like, coming up
with just the funniest ideas,
And I brought it to thrasher.
I told jake -- I was like,
"okay, here's
what it's gonna be.
It's called king of the road."
nobody said shit.
Like, "okay.
We're doing it."
Welcome to the thrasher
king of the road, everybody.
Like, if you were
to take a cross section
Of 10,000 road trips
and write down
The ridiculous thing
of each time,
That's what I try to do.
I try to take, like,
all the dumb shit
That accidentally happens.
Let's make points
so you have to do that --
Forcing the fun.
[ cheering ]
♪
I don't know -- I think I was
too young to know better,
Like, to just go like, "what?
That'll never fucking work."
Like, I was just like, "ha-ha!
This'll work!"
♪
I don't know
how it came together,
But we got four teams,
and we went coast to coast.
And it wasn't really
about, like, "let's make them do
The craziest skate tricks."
It was more just like
the road trip that you talk
To your friends about
for the rest of your lives.
Let's make one that's gonna
be worth writing about.
♪
I was thrown
into king of the road
When I was 17.
I was pretty unknown,
But I guess they just saw me
as being this hungry kid.
And I ended up winning
the m.V.P.
♪
I was fucking stoked.
Everyone on your team is
counting on you,
Just like the next dude.
"yeah, I'll make out
with this chick."
She was, like, 25.
And diego made out with her mom.
♪
I knew
that I'd be surrounded
By, like, pros and ams
of, like, a high caliber.
And it's either you blow it
or you fucking kill it.
♪
[ cheering ]
From when it started in 2003
to now, in 2015,
The level of skating is
fucking insane.
♪
[ cheers and applause ]
♪
[ cheering ]
♪
King of the road's responsible
for pushing
The progression
of skateboarding, in some cases.
♪
[ cheering ]
♪
King of the road is,
in a lot of ways,
Like, a stepping stone
to, like, what is possible.
♪
[ cheers and applause ]
It's 2015.
People are jumping down
16, 20 stairs,
And if you'd have looked back
10 years ago,
You'd be like, "what?!"
♪
-No!
-We'll take that shit!
Man: Get it, get it, get it!
♪
Man: Wow.
[ cheering ]
♪
Man: Wow.
[ applause ]
♪
-Oh, my god.
-[ whistles ]
There's a certain point
where you're, like,
Working hard enough
where you're like,
"this is for
a scavenger-hunt contest?"
Like, "what the fuck? I'm
killing myself over this shit?"
♪
-All right.
-Yeah!
This last year was just through
the roof, challenge-wise.
Piggyback transfer
with teammate on spine.
-Oh, my god.
-Dude.
Burnett:
I knew the skaters we had.
I knew they could handle it.
I knew we had jaws.
I knew we had nyjah huston.
I knew we had alec majerus.
And these guys are animals.
♪
I think watching evan smith land
The nollie tre flip front board
was insane.
♪
[ cheers and applause ]
I told mike -- I was like,
"nobody will ever do it.
We'll put it in the book."
And sure enough,
he went back there and did it.
Burnett: Holy shit. Like,
I can't believe he did that.
Nobody's ever done that before,
and he did it
On king of the road
with all of his buddies,
And it meant a lot.
Like, it means a lot anytime
these guys land a trick,
But to do a trick
with all your guys
Under this circumstance?
Insane.
♪
[ cheering ]
Fuck, yeah!
All right!
Okay, this is the stankiest
stank leg challenge.
Ain't no one gonna be stankier
than this leg.
-Oh, my god.
-Oh, my god.
-Oh, my god.
-[laughs] oh, no!
-Oh, my god, no.
-Yeah, king of the road.
Welcome to it.
Smear some shit on yourself.
Go get 150 points.
-[ laughs ]
-[ retches ]
[ laughter ]
Burnett:
It's totally overwhelming
to be in charge of the chaos,
So you just realize
that you're not really
In charge of it.
So, you just kind of poke
and prod it from the sides
And just hope it stays on track.
That's the main thing
is just, "stay on target.
Stay on target."
As far as planning
king of the road,
I write notes down all year long
Of different challenge ideas,
different thoughts.
And then, once I'm about a month
or two months away,
I start really boiling it down
and getting the book
And getting the teams committed.
[ laughs ]
I don't know
that I've reached the limit
Of challenges, bad behavior,
Because you reach the ceiling,
god opens a skylight.
[ happy jawbone family's
"d-r-e-a-m-I-n'" plays ]
[ cheering ]
♪ I lost my leg in miami
♪ to boating accident
♪ I said hello, sayonara
Double black diamond!
♪
[ cheering ]
[ laughs ]
Aw, yeah, dude.
Yeah, fucking kotr tattoo.
[ needle buzzing ]
Try and beat me.
Dude, that's
fucking weird-looking.
Man: Let me see.
Let's check it out.
Oh, my god!
♪ dreamin' my life away
Lutheran: It's all
pretty surprising out there.
You got to eliminate
some of your dignity
And go right in.
Like, a lot of the challenges
are dignity eliminators,
For sure, in my opinion.
-Yeah, yeah.
-In a funny way, right?
-I was surprised when --
I wasn't surprised
that he got his nipple pierced,
But I was definitely surprised
when he demanded that I pay
To get the other one pierced...
[ laughter ]
'cause he wanted
a matching set of nipples.
It felt weird having
just one.
I felt like might as well just
get the other one done, right?
Like...
[ laughter ]
-Make out with a juggalo.
-Make out with a juggalo.
Check into a hotel wearing
nothing but stickers.
Hello.
-What's up, dude?
I need to get a room.
Today's my birthday.
-Happy birthday, man.
-Yeah.
♪
[ laughs ]
All I know is that it's gotten
gnarlier with the years.
It seems like every year,
it gets crazier and crazier.
[ cheering ]
[ chain saw buzzing ]
You get into this, like, shit
that you would never get into,
Ever, unless you're on
king of the road.
♪
[ people jeering ]
You can't even believe, like,
that there's
So many random challenges.
But then, somehow,
the stars and moon align
Where it's, like, check into a
hotel with nothing but stickers,
Make out with a girl,
And then, somehow,
a girl is standing in the lobby
Of the place that you're naked
in stickers checking in.
It just happens, like,
and you're like --
You can't even write that.
[ cheering ]
-Okay, stop.
-Okay.
I just thought
I'd make it good, okay?
The key thing
to king of the road would be
You need to know people
with fucked up scruples
And their phone number.
All right, you're gonna have
to find a chick on acid
And a pregnant chick,
and you're like,
"oh, I know somebody
who can find us both."
There's also, uh, most makeouts.
And, uh, I think that's the
shittiest challenge there is,
'cause it's the only challenge
that, at all times,
You have to be doing it.
You're eating --
you know, it doesn't matter
What you're doing, and you see,
like, a group of girls.
And everybody's like,
"dude, got to do it."
So, yeah,
as far as the makeouts,
Like, once you get
into these waters,
You realize that there's
a lot of people out there
Ready to make out.
So, I guess
we're just filling a void.
The making out
with all the chicks --
That one's fine, but I, like,
make out with the old chicks.
One time, when the trip
first started, like,
I was in this mcdonald's.
And this lady was working
behind the counter.
And she seemed, like, excited
And down for, like, skating
and stuff.
And I was like,
"hey, you're over 40, right?"
Like, "yeah!"
-yeah! [laughs]
And I start making out
with this girl.
And then, a minute later,
uh, our photographer,
Lance dawes walks up,
and he's like...
-No!
-Oh, no, no.
And I'm like,
"what the fuck?!"
And everybody
just starting dying.
Like, "you just made out
with this chick
For no reason at all --
no reason, no points.
Just random mcdonald's clerk
just for the hell of it."
[ laughs ]
I had to make out
with a bunch of old ladies.
Man: That was --
can we talk about that?
So, this 63-year-old lady --
-She has minimal teeth.
-Like, none.
Like, I thought
she was just gonna swallow
My whole face off.
-Yes.
She's trying
to eat me, dude!
[ laughter ]
-Oh, it's so bad.
-It was bad, dude.
It was rough, man.
Making out with, like,
some old strippers
That we meet at waffle house
or whatever -- that's hazardous.
It's almost like
they want you to almost die.
We had to find a chick
That looked like somebody
from our team.
And so, we found this chick
that looked like jaws,
And it was actually really good.
But the crazy thing was is
she was actually kind of hot.
♪
The look-alikes are always fun.
[ laughter ]
Huston: When I first saw
the girl look-alike one
In the book, I was like, "mm,
that's gonna be interesting
For whoever has to do that."
And of course,
it comes down to being me.
Burnett:
There's nyjah's look-alike.
She could kickflip,
she made out with him,
And he broke her board,
so it was a triple threat.
She was super-cool
about the whole thing.
[ engine revving ]
There's always something
that gets written on there,
And you're like,
"oh, no one's gonna do this."
And somebody always tries.
♪
Like, skating naked, all right?
I don't know.
A lot of people
don't like the naked stuff.
There's some macho, macho men.
I think it's pretty funny.
You could do the gnarliest trick
naked or whatever.
So, that's when all,
like, the homeys are like,
"uh...
All right, well, you just go
with the filmer over there,
Uh, naked, and we'll --
We'll be over here doing
our thing or whatever."
So, the filmer's got to be like,
"okay, all right, you got it.
You got it."
just try and just --
Just filming
the naked homey, you know?
It's like -- oh, it's kind
of sick and twisted.
Tommy took naked every year.
He just raised the bar so high,
Ollieing huge sets
of stairs naked.
[ laughter ]
♪
[ laughter ]
Yeah, if you were to fall
on your private parts naked,
Any stair
could ruin your life.
[ laughter ]
Damn.
No one wants
to get fucking naked,
Unless you're ed templeton.
♪
I don't have, like, a big cock
or anything, you know,
So I don't know how I'm always
the one who has to get naked.
I guess I'm secure
with my small wiener,
So I don't care enough.
And maybe I'm --
maybe since I'm married,
I don't have anything to lose
by showing a little
Of my little pecker.
Deanna calls it the tater tot.
♪
So, jereme rogers was
just hyped --
So hyped to be naked.
He was kind of like
a new kid coming out,
Super-popular,
and he really showed
His true colors on that trip,
Just so down to get naked
and just --
It foreshadowed his future,
which is, uh --
He's been arrested
for, uh, naked episodes.
[ coughs ]
I didn't mind being naked.
One is either well-endowed
or not.
And it was just more funny.
I was just a young kid
on the tour.
It was just jokes, you know?
See, the situation is
the manual pad might have
A little bit more wax on it
than it's supposed to.
[ laughter ]
'cause I don't think
it's supposed to have any.
King of the road is really hard,
And probably harder than
any of us did skate, you know?
And definitely weirder.
-Aah!
-[ laughs ]
Well, my kissing posture right
there doesn't look very, like,
At ease with this situation.
I'm really glad
I did it, though.
I mean,
it was a great experience.
It was, like, so hard,
I was like,
"I would have no interest
in trying to do that again."
Like, I don't care
if I win that.
Like, fuck.
It's too tough.
[ chuckles ]
-Ohh.
-[ chuckles ]
I think the birdhouse team
fucking set the precedent
With that beer enema
as a practical joke.
That was ruthless.
-Oh!
Man:
One of my favorite challenges
in the book every year is
To prank one of your teammates.
Nobody told jaws
to drink a beer with an enema.
That was not in the book.
And his teammates
knew that he would do it,
'cause he was gullible enough.
'cause I didn't look
at the book.
That was the problem.
I didn't look at the book.
Man: And so, I knew he probably
didn't even know
If that was in the book
or not, and, uh,
So I was like, "hey,
who's gonna do the butt chug?"
And jaws was like, "uh, fuck it.
I guess I'll do it."
The funnel was, like,
that thick, and that's, like --
That's big.
That's big.
[ chuckles ]
You don't ever want to see that.
If you haven't seen that,
you don't want to see it,
'cause it was not pretty.
-[ wretches]
-oh, shit!
Man: One team member sleeps
in the van for a week.
-What?! Sleep in there?
-Ohh, if that were me --
I'm gonna start a week
of sleeping in the van today.
It's the 10th of August
At 6:00 a.M.
Dude, it's so hot.
Nobody has to do anything.
It's all based on what
they're willing to do
And what they're willing
to try in the book.
And a lot of this stuff is
not fun and not easy,
And it's not something that
they would naturally want to do.
So, the team
that just muscles through
And tries to get
as much stuff done
And get strategic
and skate as hard as they can...
That ends up being
the team that wins.
Every single person broke at
one time or another, you know?
People get stressed.
People get beat down.
People get hurt.
People get sad.
'cause by day 9, everybody's
ready to whip out knives
And slit each other's throats.
By day 11, there's a fist fight.
Man:
Tommy came at my one time.
"why don't you shut up
and drive?"
I said, "do your job.
Shut up and drive."
yeah.
I'm like,
"oh, my god, dude.
I'm gonna smash tommy gunz
right now.
I'm gonna choke him to death
in the van right now."
The book never disappointed.
It always delivered.
You know,
it always delivered
That it was gonna take us
to the limits
And past our limits
to a breaking point...
To a level of frustration
and anger and hate...
-Aah!
-For skateboarding
That you never even,
you know, knew existed.
And that's
why I loved it so much is
Because I felt like it was
bringing out the best of us,
Bringing out the worst of us.
I was almost addicted to it.
Fuck!
You have to sleep less,
eat faster,
Eat on the road,
eat on the run.
Don't do anything
outside of the challenges,
Because you're racing the clock.
Man: From the time you wake up
at, like 8:00
Till, like 4:00 in the morning,
You know, you're, like,
just going.
It's like you either do this,
or you don't.
So, like I said earlier,
ante in.
Once you ante in,
you're fucking in the game.
And we're playing for keeps
for the next 12 days.
Ewing: You know, we were just
so hyped to not get last place.
'cause that was the main goal --
don't get last.
That was probably
everybody's main goal.
We tried so fucking hard.
I mean, we gave it
every single thing we had,
And we got dead last.
I don't think we even thought
about winning, like,
When we were on it.
You know, in retrospect,
we realized, like, "oh, yeah.
Ed gets up every morning and
takes the team to whole foods."
And my penchant for getting
eight hours of sleep
And eating good food is not
The way to win king of the road
at all.
I don't think
I realized the magnitude
Of how hard it is
to win the competition.
Suffer the consequences
of getting dead last.
The first year, especially,
maybe there was one team
That said, "I didn't think
you guys were serious."
And I think once they got back
and they saw, like,
What everybody else did,
they were like, "oh, shit.
This was for real."
[ cheering ]
And in first place,
jamie thomas,
The willie nelson
of skateboarding --
Jamie thomas...
-Fuck, yeah!
Phelps: ...Chris cole...
But then, the second year,
jamie thomas and zero got in it,
And then it was just on.
♪
[ cheering ]
I don't see any reason
To do king of the road
unless you're gonna win.
You're not doing it for fun.
Jamie just wants to fucking win.
And he usually has dudes
that are all so fucking gnarly
That if you're gonna
win the contest,
You got to go through
fucking jamie and his crew.
♪
Man: Yeah!
♪
Man: Yes!
♪
Man: Whoo!
Nobody on zero wanted
to work that hard
To get to the finish line
and be like,
"yeah, you got third place."
You know, you put all
that effort in for two weeks,
And you got third place.
So, we just kept telling
ourselves,
"if we're working this hard,
we got to push it
A little bit harder
in order to make sure we win."
And I feel like that philosophy
has to be in your head.
If it's not in your head,
you're wasting time out there.
These guys were working.
There was no fun.
They weren't having fun.
It was, like,
"got to get this trick.
We got to get this trick.
We got to go over here.
We got to get this trick."
And that's why zero won
three times in a row.
It was like they were
in the army or something.
Jamie thomas is known to really,
Really push his skaters
more than usual.
Like, failure's not an option.
I'd seen him just whipping them.
"perform! Show me!
Make them work!"
When jamie thomas did it,
he would pay people at the end.
He's like, "I'll give you $200
to do that."
[ cheers and applause ]
Cole: Chief had tour guide
for the city lined up.
He had the spots
of the city already lined up.
"I remember going here
in '96.
There's this thing
over here I could --
We'll go hit that."
like, it was --
It was that crazy.
I think he grew up perfecting
everything he does,
And when we're
in a contest, competition,
Whatever, he's got to do
whatever he can
To not only perfect
the situation for himself
But everybody else.
Like, he had it all
down to a science.
The first year was, like,
trial and error.
"we're gonna figure out
what works,
Figure out what doesn't work."
Second year, it was
a little bit, like, finer tuned.
Third year, it was like,
"you know what you got to do.
You know where you got to be.
Like, let's just
get it damn done."
Jamie thomas was driven
far beyond anybody.
That's pretty much
why we had to shut it down,
Because it was like
nobody could beat him.
[ cheers and applause ]
We took as serious as, like --
It was as important
as skater of the year.
King of the road was
that important.
It's such a rad trophy.
It's, like, handmade,
And it's the most prized trophy,
for me.
Today, went out,
got a bunch of tricks.
[ laughter ]
fucking killing shit.
And then, we happened to come
across fucking flip dudes
At the last spot we were at.
[ clicks tongue ]
we're killing those dudes.
There's a lot of components
that lead you
To a king of the road victory.
I mean, obviously,
having dudes on the trip
That are talented enough
to do the challenges
In the book or to do the tricks,
But it's really just
about that chemistry
Of everyone being
so committed
That it's the most
important thing on earth
At that point in time.
♪
So, we're in the van.
So -- we like it here.
Cole: What was really good
about zero was,
With each of us, we wanted
to be the absolute best
That we could be
all the time.
None of the dudes wanted
to let a trick beat them,
So if you have five dudes
that want to beat the book,
And they're all going
after anything that's in there,
You're gonna win.
Double flip off the diving board
at barton springs.
Sounds like fun.
-Yes!
-[ laughs ]
-Oh, my god!
-Oh.
Man: Yeah, what's the deal
with your hand?
My hand's fucking broken.
I took my cast off.
I'm trying this shit anyways.
But what makes a good
king of the road skater?
Someone that's just fucking down
for boarding.
♪
man: Whoo!
[ cheering ]
♪ giving it all the best
Yeah!
♪ keeping it all
♪ can't you see
that all this sucks? ♪
[ laughter ]
♪ can't you see
they're all in shock? ♪
♪ can't you see them
running wild?"
♪ can't you see
that all this sucks? ♪
♪
Yeah!
♪
[ cheering ]
♪
Man: Yeah!
♪
[ cheering ]
♪ we're gonna need
a bigger boat ♪
[ cheering ]
I mean, I think we had
a couple of the ultimate
King of the road skaters.
I think that cole
or tommy could have been
The ultimate
king of the road skater.
One year, it was --
you know, cole was m.V.P.,
And one year, tommy was m.V.P.
Tommy and fucking chris cole --
The shit that they did
in those 2004, '05, '06 --
That was fucking demonic.
♪
Man: Yeah!
♪
Whoo!
Who's hitting me
for the most trophies of all?
Who?
His name is
chris mother fucking cole.
I think cole beat
a whole team by himself.
I did.
I did, yeah.
♪
[ cheering ]
Phelps: He hit me for three
king of the roads and two sotys.
That means
he's got five trophies
That I fucking gave him myself.
I mean, that's your ultimate
king of the road skater.
I'm pretty sure tommy gunz got
'05 m.V.P.
♪
-Whoo!
-[laughs] oh, my god!
Tommy is, like, your
quintessential hometown hero.
♪
Tommy sandoval -- I mean,
when I think about it,
The shit that he did
and the stuff that I saw --
That was fucking incredible.
♪ and you
♪ ain't got no beef
I think I was new, like,
fresh am at that point,
So I think jamie's intentions
for taking me was obviously...
♪ look in my eyes
...Partially film
for the zero video
And then, also,
because I was ready...
♪ you don't
...To jump and go get it.
♪ want to mess with me
If you can handle this,
you can handle anything.
♪ 'cause I walk
♪ just like a man
First few king of the roads,
he was the youngest, toughest,
Like, most to prove.
Like, he was just
going for it.
♪
Grosso: 'cause this was a kid
from chula vista.
He had nothing,
and all he could do was skate.
So, jamie takes him
under his wing.
And I remember talking
to tommy and going,
"dude, your whole life
is about to change.
You have no idea."
And he rose to the occasion,
And it was a beautiful thing
to watch.
And he ends up on the cover
of thrasher.
This was insane.
But I came in the last four days
Of a two-week death show
these guys were on.
I was a mystery guest.
[ chuckles ]
The year I went was,
like, washed-up old dudes.
You're gonna get
a washed-up old dude.
And, you know -- and then
we all stumbled off the plane.
Hey.
We're zero.
We're picking you up.
Oh, you guys are bummed.
[ laughter ]
You got stuck with me?
This was the first tour
I had been on in 20 years.
I had just gotten sober,
So I was, like, one
of those war vets, you know?
I was super-punchy, like...
Grosso was just, like, sober
only for, like, a week or two.
It was gnarly -- I think
he, like, died two weeks before.
He o.D.'d, and he was basically
back from the dead
Onto this kind of the road trip.
It was crazy.
I was in the van, I think,
For four days
or something like that.
And, like, those mother fuckers
didn't sleep.
They just drove and skated,
drove and skated.
You sleep in the van.
Man: I got to piss.
Thomas: Grosso wasn't
a hindrance at all.
He was a legend.
That dude ruled.
He knocked
our whole pool page out
In, like, 30 minutes
at strawberry pool,
Like, two weeks
out of the hospital
From being dead, you know,
so, yeah, the dude ruled.
♪
Grosso:
Zero was super fucking cool.
They won their money.
Everybody fucking cheered
and yelled.
They put the whole team
up against a wall
To take a team photo,
And then jamie stopped
the fucking photo,
Made them come find me,
Made sure I got in the photo
for the whole team thing,
Which was sweet, you know?
Class act, the zero guys.
Incredible skateboarders.
My mind was fucking blown.
[ knock on door ]
Oh, it's my child.
There he is.
All 40 pounds of mayhem
and destruction.
Here comes the terrorist.
So, yeah.
Man: Ohh!
We got a chance
at best slam now.
What even happened?
We're in texas, right?
-Yeah.
Uh...I don't know.
Can I even see it
inside your mirror?
-Whoa!
-Yeah, right --
Right there.
-Oh, my god, dude.
Knock on wood, you know?
You just never want
anybody to get hurt,
Even though that's
kind of part of the game
That these guys play.
♪
Matt winterberg did
this trick --
Not that --
but did this trick perfectly --
The louganis,
where you do a ski stance.
And then jamie had him do it
one more time,
'cause he wanted
to film it perfectly,
And he blew out his acl.
Ow! Fuck!
That's it right there!
I hurt my knee.
It's done.
Ah, fuck.
He says that his knee is
really sketchy
When it's straight,
But then it feels somewhat
stable when it's bent.
And it was on, like,
the second day of the trip.
And, again, obviously,
we have no insurance,
So I'll just be --
we'll just be paying cash.
Sandoval: Just this down
an eight-stair.
And it's called
the louganis because it's made
So that you'll land
and hit your head on the stairs.
Like, that's
why it's called that.
Ow! Fuck!
That's it right there!
Probably won't be skating
for a little bit,
But, uh, once we win
this king of the road,
We'll be back next year,
and I'll take you guys out.
-Yeah.
-[ laughs ]
-I hope we win.
-[ laughs ]
That's the reality.
Somebody's getting hurt
on king of the road every year,
You know?
♪
Man: Oh!
You all right?
-Aah!
-Oh.
Ewing: Somebody could get hurt
just trying to, like,
Push themselves too far.
You could definitely
push yourself too far.
[ cheering ]
Man: Oh, dude,
don't let him do that.
Carbondale was a --
it's a town in colorado.
They got this skate park there
with a cradle,
So that was kind of like
the middle of the trip blowout.
Phelps: Call all these people
up, and we're like,
"we're thrasher magazine.
We'd like to have an event
in your town."
And these people were like,
"carbondale?!
You're picking our town?!"
Congratulations.
First annual carbondale run.
They were so fucking hyped
That we were coming
to their town.
It had been promoted
as this big event,
And so people were camping out
on the soccer field.
Carbondale turned into this huge
almost, like, festival
Of just, like, freaks
and crazies from all over.
I don't remember
that time too well.
I just remember
it being madness.
Little did we know that the park
was pretty challenging.
It was raining.
And everybody got
their mystery guest
And went up there
and had a freak-out.
[ cheering ]
We had a fucking -- a rip ride.
That's what we call it.
When something's that good,
we call it rip ride.
Like, rip ride!
It's a venom song.
[ venom's "rip ride" plays ]
Man: Yeah!
[ laughs ]
[ audience ohhs ]
[ cheering ]
The whole thing was crazy just
because the police were there,
But they were having
a good time.
They set up a bb gun gauntlet...
[ bb gun popping ]
And we have footage of
the town sheriff shooting people
With the bb gun.
I think that's the only reason
Why we didn't get sued
by the town.
♪ the deadly race begins
I mean, we were getting rides
from the fire stations.
I mean, it was just
an all-out freak-out.
♪ tonight, we'll fight
with glory in our veins ♪
♪ can't stop us now
the night after the event,
Somebody snuck up the hillside
And set a bunch
of hay bales on fire.
And it made big news
in the town,
And that might have been
their last big skateboard event
They ever had.
Phelps: When we left that town,
it was still smoking.
But we never went back,
But they were like,
"first annual."
They thought it was gonna be,
like, basically
Sturgis for skateboarders.
You like to think
that there's a place
Where there's
some "live and let live,"
But then some asshole always
spoils the fun, don't they?
[ laughter ]
A couple years ago, you know,
a fireworks battle broke out.
Man: They're scared!
Tony:
We haven't even started, like,
The halfway point challenges,
And I'm like, "all right,
this is fucking hilarious."
But at the same time, like,
We don't want to get kicked
out of the spot
Before we get to do
the challenges.
[ fireworks crackle ]
[ fireworks pop ]
All right, last one.
Yeah, but I can't
fucking stop it.
[chuckling] like,
how am I gonna stop it?
With the hand?
Tony: In a field
in the middle of summer,
It was dry as shit,
And, you know,
the fireworks are going off.
[ laughter ]
And then someone's like,
"holy shit."
We run outside and there's,
like, an entire field on fire.
Should have known
that was gonna happen.
A couple of guys got
in big, big trouble over that.
So, needless to say,
there's been a fireworks ban
On king of the road every since.
[ cellphone rings ]
-Hey, mike.
-What up, sam?
Sam:
What's going down?
I don't know if you have
any updates or not,
But, uh, just trying
to see if the, uh --
What your thoughts on the
girl squad making it are.
That'd be sick.
Feel free to tell them
about the tv stuff.
You think berle
would do it?
Do you have a kid?
Is johnny --
Johnny jones
a potential for that?
That's what we need.
You know
who those other teams are.
[ both laugh ]
Well, man, have a good one.
I'll see you on Thursday.
-Sounds good.
-Okay, bye.
Burnett: I just found out
that chocolate's gonna do it,
Guaranteed.
This year, we're filming
king of the road for television,
And the teams are chocolate,
toy machine,
And the defending champs,
birdhouse.
Chocolate,
they're gonna be hard to beat,
Because they're
an all-terrain team.
Like, everybody on the team can,
like, shred anything.
[ chuckling ] ohh!
[ cheers and applause ]
Like, kind of
the cool guys, you know?
But they're not,
like, stiff or nothing.
They're pretty fun-loving.
Toy machine -- toy machine's
been on king of the road
Several times before.
They always do super-good.
This year, though, leo romero,
our skater of the year --
He ain't going.
He's got band practice.
So, it'll be interesting
to see how they do
Without their anchorman.
Last, but not least, birdhouse.
That's tony hawk's company,
Although tony hawk has never
gone on king of the road.
They're super-good.
They've got clint walker,
Who's this super-intense
southern boy...
Whoo! Whoo!
Really fun-loving, really aggro.
Last year, he broke
our windshield
In a fit of rage.
They've won it
two times already,
And they're gunning
for a three-peat.
The only other team
to do that has been zero.
I don't think I would
feel any sort of way
about it, personally.
I'd be
pretty pissed off.
[ laughter ]
When I looked
at the birdhouse one,
I think that they have
something similar
To what we had
when we were doing it.
Everybody there is 100%
committed and dedicated to it.
And they're gonna take it
as far as necessary
In order to win.
Yeah, I don't know.
If we win for the third time,
I don't know what happens.
Maybe we all just quit skating.
I don't know.
I don't -- I don't really
know what happens.
I guess we'll find out
in, uh, a couple weeks.
Get down, man.
Orange jubilee mad dog 20/20
to start
Before you
even open the envelope.
Oh, yeah.
Here we go.
Grosso:
Wash it down with a fucking
bottle of strawberry hill,
And then open up that envelope
and let it roll.
♪
Shit.
It's gonna be 12 days that
you're not going to remember.
You're gonna go,
"I went on that. What happened?"
And you're gonna have
a shitty tattoo.
Somewhere, there's gonna be
a really bad photo
Of a fucking hairdo you had.
Girlfriend's not gonna talk
to you anymore.
♪
[ chuckling ] oh, fuck.
Yeah, she's gonna be bummed.
All that shit's happened
on king of the road.
That's what it is.
Get down.
-Fuck!
-Get bloody.
Dude, this is so fucked.
♪
[ groaning ]
fuck, dude.
King of the road deserves
a look from the outside world.
Right here!
Because, essentially,
king of the road condenses
What skateboarding is --
road trips and fun...
[ laughter ]
Man: Yeah!
Templeton: ...And messing
with each other
And skateboarding.
[ laughter ]
-Oh!
-Aw!
It'll be interesting
to see how, kind of,
People outside
the skateboarding bubble view
What we do.
-Aah!
-Oh!
-Ohh!
-Let the games begin!
♪
-It wasn't that bad.
-[ laughs ]
♪
Aah!
♪
[ screams ]
Burnett: We're gonna send
these guys on the wildest...
-Ohh!
-Most jacked road trip
Of their entire lives.
-Ohh!
-Oh, my god!
-If they can survive this...
-Aah!
Burnett: ...They definitely
deserve to be king of the road.
♪
-Fucking drive!
-Oh!
[ cheering ]
[ railing clangs ]
Man: Fuck, dude!
[ laughter ]
[ singsong voice ]
this is gonna be nuts.
Whoo!
He's lost
his goddamn mind.
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Shit!
---
Please do not attempt to perform
any of these stunts
Or activities in this show.
They are super-dangerous --
crazy, wild dangerous.
The stunts seen are either
performed by professionals
Or under the supervision
of professionals.
Serious professionals.
This show
also contains bad language.
-King of the road!
-Here we go.
-Ooh!
-You want to fuck around?!
This is
how we fuck around.
"this packet is designed
to help you navigate
The kotr experience."
Here's our route.
We're going
to atlanta, georgia.
-A-town down.
-Yeah.
Man: Nashville, tennessee.
-Gaytopia.
-Gaytopia.
[ laughter, dog barking ]
[ cheering ]
That's fucked.
-Yeah!
-Yeah!
Look at this one --
hold hands, blunt, kickflip.
[ cheers and applause ]
-[ laughs ]
-ohh!
[ laughs ]
man: I want this
to be your best work.
I'm shaking
just looking at this.
[ laughter ]
Ow!
Fucked it.
Nobody wants
to do king of the road.
It's horrifying.
I banged my head
till I saw blood
-Oh!
-Oh!
♪
♪ I got my truck
stuck in the mud ♪
[ cheering ]
[ laughs ]
♪ I got my hair,
but it's long and bleached ♪
man: Yeah!
Man: Slow down!
[ cheering ]
♪ I come out here
so I could find some peace ♪
take a dump in the van.
Man: Oh, my god!
♪ some peace
King of the road is two weeks
of just madness.
[ screams ]
[ laughter ]
♪
It's a skateboarding
scavenger-hunt road trip.
♪ I took my bath
in a waterfall ♪
there's three teams
of top pro skaters,
And they all have to go
on different routes
Around america.
♪ I found some bullets,
but I shot 'em all ♪
And they try to accomplish
all these special challenges.
Some of those challenges
are based
On skateboarding's past...
♪ I can catch my food
just like a dog ♪
Whoo!
-Get over!
-Aah!
[ cheering ]
♪ met some people in town,
but they got me all wrong ♪
Thomas: Some are
life challenges, too,
Where you have to endure
certain painful experiences.
♪ all wrong
I guess I would kind of
call it a scavenger hunt
For debauchery...
[ cheering ]
And skateboarding tricks.
[ cheering ]
It's so psychotic.
I mean, you --
"you're gonna do what?"
Every challenge is
kind of set up
To almost get you beat up.
♪ she used to love me,
now she's not around ♪
[ all ohh ]
but that's what makes it fun.
King of the road,
to somebody who doesn't skate --
The craziest skateboarding
that exists.
♪ I can live my life
like a maniac ♪
[ cheers and applause ]
You have to be mentally
ready for it.
Like, "I'm gonna go on this trip
where I'm not gonna sleep.
I'm not gonna eat well.
I'm just gonna be skating
and doing crazy stuff."
[ laughter ]
Honestly, you have to punch
yourself a couple times.
"am I gonna do this?
Yeah!"
♪
Man: Whoo!
Once you say, "yes," like,
You're going
down the rabbit hole.
♪ you'll always try
to size me up ♪
And you can't go down
half-assed.
♪ but I'm too old
to give a fuck ♪
[ cheering ]
It ain't the road trip
where you go, "hey, guys.
Man, let's go up
to yosemite this weekend."
♪ you'll never have
a piece of this ♪
It's no spring break.
Man: It's not just about being
on your skateboard, you know?
It's about being
a dirtbag, too.
That's what I like about it.
It's king of the road, dude.
It's a fucked-up challenge.
It's just fucked-up stuff.
♪
[ cheering ]
♪
[ cheering ]
-Fuck, yes!
-Holy fuck!
[ cheering, whistling ]
Burnett:
Skateboarding's about hilarious
bullshit with your friends.
You know, just skating hard
and just laughing.
I love it.
So, usually, there's, like,
One page that has
all the keepers on it.
It's, like, the easiest way
to find the good stuff.
I put together
thrasher magazine,
Work with all the photographers,
plan issues and events,
And I'm also a photographer
and a writer.
I was a total disciple
of skateboarding
Well before I even imagined
I could get a job.
I started skateboarding
around 1986.
I loved thrasher
way before I worked for them.
I read thrasher
like it was the torah,
Studying it over and over again.
My wife used to do this
when we first met.
She could open any magazine
from the '80s,
And I could tell her
the caption.
Not just who it was,
but I could tell her the wording
Of the caption,
'cause it was like --
It was like staring
at that zeppelin album like,
"what does it mean?"
Phelps:
Thrasher has consistently been
the purest and rawest depiction
Of skateboarding
for the past 34 years.
They came along when we really
fucking needed them.
And they believed
in a bunch of fucking kids
That nobody believed in.
They've always made it a point
to provide a voice
For skateboarding that is,
like, you know, pretty accurate
To the ethos
of the young skater, you know?
"school sucks.
The cops are dicks."
I think thrasher steers,
like, the reader's attention
To, like, the rawness
of skateboarding.
Go fast. Get hurt.
Don't give a fuck.
That's, like, every kid's
little dream is, like,
To be in thrasher.
Lutheran: If you get the front
of a magazine that's respected,
There's something that went
into that, some hard work.
It's your certificate
of excellence, I guess...
[ chuckles ]
as cheesy as that sounds.
Like, I look at it, and I'm
still so stoked every time.
All the guys
I looked up to have been
On the front of this --
like, most all of them.
And then, to get
into that category --
That's just a dream come true,
straight up.
All the juice for thrasher.
♪
Thrasher is skateboarding.
Tony: The first time
I was actually in thrasher
Was when I was this big.
So, yeah, that happened.
My mom wasn't particularly
stoked on the sexy lady coaxing
Her probably 7-year-old
or 8-year-old kid.
Man: Oh, that's not --
that's not your mom?
No.
That's not my mom.
Just coming in here
with my dad,
It was an exciting place to be.
My dad's fausto vitello.
He came here from argentina,
And he was obsessed
with baseball.
And he actually learned
how to speak english
Listening to broadcasts
of the giants games.
He was a really
kind of multidimensional dude
That got into skating
much later in his life.
Thrasher was founded
in san francisco in 1981.
It's a family-owned
independent business.
I'd rather fucking die
before somebody, you know, be
A partner in thrasher
or something or have, like,
A stake in what we do.
We don't censor anything
to make it more palatable
For, like, an audience
outside of skateboarding.
Thrasher is fucking spirit
of skate and destroy.
Phelps: [ sighs ]
We moved to this building
in 1988.
I've been working
in this building since 1989,
But I've worked
for the mag for 30 years.
Thrasher is a cool
older brother -- you know,
Somebody who'll tell you
what it is, what it ain't.
You know, "don't go down
that street.
Don't hang out with that dude.
This kind of place sucks.
Don't ever go there.
The fucking parking blows.
That guy's a goon!
Don't fucking go there!
Bikers suck.
They always have."
It's just -- you know,
that's why thrasher is.
It exists
because it's the voice of reason
In the world full of mediocrity.
Thrasher was a little too heavy
for a lot of people --
That thrasher ideology
of, like, "fuck it.
We don't care."
And a lot of times, you know,
We just really didn't give
a shit.
You know,
if we spelled it wrong, oops.
"who won the contest?
We didn't get a photo?
Sorry."
We're still doing 220-page mags.
Nobody's doing that.
Why we stayed in business
all these years
Is the fact that we know
what we're doing.
No one tells us what's rad.
I told you that.
"jaws" -- the biggest ollie
in the world.
This should be
a king of the road challenge.
Kickflip that.
[ chuckles ]
Mike came at me with the concept
for king of the road in 2003.
My good friend chris cole and I
were just shooting the shit,
And he's like, "what about a
skateboarding 'cannonball run?'"
And I'm like, "yeah!"
We just started, like, coming up
with just the funniest ideas,
And I brought it to thrasher.
I told jake -- I was like,
"okay, here's
what it's gonna be.
It's called king of the road."
nobody said shit.
Like, "okay.
We're doing it."
Welcome to the thrasher
king of the road, everybody.
Like, if you were
to take a cross section
Of 10,000 road trips
and write down
The ridiculous thing
of each time,
That's what I try to do.
I try to take, like,
all the dumb shit
That accidentally happens.
Let's make points
so you have to do that --
Forcing the fun.
[ cheering ]
♪
I don't know -- I think I was
too young to know better,
Like, to just go like, "what?
That'll never fucking work."
Like, I was just like, "ha-ha!
This'll work!"
♪
I don't know
how it came together,
But we got four teams,
and we went coast to coast.
And it wasn't really
about, like, "let's make them do
The craziest skate tricks."
It was more just like
the road trip that you talk
To your friends about
for the rest of your lives.
Let's make one that's gonna
be worth writing about.
♪
I was thrown
into king of the road
When I was 17.
I was pretty unknown,
But I guess they just saw me
as being this hungry kid.
And I ended up winning
the m.V.P.
♪
I was fucking stoked.
Everyone on your team is
counting on you,
Just like the next dude.
"yeah, I'll make out
with this chick."
She was, like, 25.
And diego made out with her mom.
♪
I knew
that I'd be surrounded
By, like, pros and ams
of, like, a high caliber.
And it's either you blow it
or you fucking kill it.
♪
[ cheering ]
From when it started in 2003
to now, in 2015,
The level of skating is
fucking insane.
♪
[ cheers and applause ]
♪
[ cheering ]
♪
King of the road's responsible
for pushing
The progression
of skateboarding, in some cases.
♪
[ cheering ]
♪
King of the road is,
in a lot of ways,
Like, a stepping stone
to, like, what is possible.
♪
[ cheers and applause ]
It's 2015.
People are jumping down
16, 20 stairs,
And if you'd have looked back
10 years ago,
You'd be like, "what?!"
♪
-No!
-We'll take that shit!
Man: Get it, get it, get it!
♪
Man: Wow.
[ cheering ]
♪
Man: Wow.
[ applause ]
♪
-Oh, my god.
-[ whistles ]
There's a certain point
where you're, like,
Working hard enough
where you're like,
"this is for
a scavenger-hunt contest?"
Like, "what the fuck? I'm
killing myself over this shit?"
♪
-All right.
-Yeah!
This last year was just through
the roof, challenge-wise.
Piggyback transfer
with teammate on spine.
-Oh, my god.
-Dude.
Burnett:
I knew the skaters we had.
I knew they could handle it.
I knew we had jaws.
I knew we had nyjah huston.
I knew we had alec majerus.
And these guys are animals.
♪
I think watching evan smith land
The nollie tre flip front board
was insane.
♪
[ cheers and applause ]
I told mike -- I was like,
"nobody will ever do it.
We'll put it in the book."
And sure enough,
he went back there and did it.
Burnett: Holy shit. Like,
I can't believe he did that.
Nobody's ever done that before,
and he did it
On king of the road
with all of his buddies,
And it meant a lot.
Like, it means a lot anytime
these guys land a trick,
But to do a trick
with all your guys
Under this circumstance?
Insane.
♪
[ cheering ]
Fuck, yeah!
All right!
Okay, this is the stankiest
stank leg challenge.
Ain't no one gonna be stankier
than this leg.
-Oh, my god.
-Oh, my god.
-Oh, my god.
-[laughs] oh, no!
-Oh, my god, no.
-Yeah, king of the road.
Welcome to it.
Smear some shit on yourself.
Go get 150 points.
-[ laughs ]
-[ retches ]
[ laughter ]
Burnett:
It's totally overwhelming
to be in charge of the chaos,
So you just realize
that you're not really
In charge of it.
So, you just kind of poke
and prod it from the sides
And just hope it stays on track.
That's the main thing
is just, "stay on target.
Stay on target."
As far as planning
king of the road,
I write notes down all year long
Of different challenge ideas,
different thoughts.
And then, once I'm about a month
or two months away,
I start really boiling it down
and getting the book
And getting the teams committed.
[ laughs ]
I don't know
that I've reached the limit
Of challenges, bad behavior,
Because you reach the ceiling,
god opens a skylight.
[ happy jawbone family's
"d-r-e-a-m-I-n'" plays ]
[ cheering ]
♪ I lost my leg in miami
♪ to boating accident
♪ I said hello, sayonara
Double black diamond!
♪
[ cheering ]
[ laughs ]
Aw, yeah, dude.
Yeah, fucking kotr tattoo.
[ needle buzzing ]
Try and beat me.
Dude, that's
fucking weird-looking.
Man: Let me see.
Let's check it out.
Oh, my god!
♪ dreamin' my life away
Lutheran: It's all
pretty surprising out there.
You got to eliminate
some of your dignity
And go right in.
Like, a lot of the challenges
are dignity eliminators,
For sure, in my opinion.
-Yeah, yeah.
-In a funny way, right?
-I was surprised when --
I wasn't surprised
that he got his nipple pierced,
But I was definitely surprised
when he demanded that I pay
To get the other one pierced...
[ laughter ]
'cause he wanted
a matching set of nipples.
It felt weird having
just one.
I felt like might as well just
get the other one done, right?
Like...
[ laughter ]
-Make out with a juggalo.
-Make out with a juggalo.
Check into a hotel wearing
nothing but stickers.
Hello.
-What's up, dude?
I need to get a room.
Today's my birthday.
-Happy birthday, man.
-Yeah.
♪
[ laughs ]
All I know is that it's gotten
gnarlier with the years.
It seems like every year,
it gets crazier and crazier.
[ cheering ]
[ chain saw buzzing ]
You get into this, like, shit
that you would never get into,
Ever, unless you're on
king of the road.
♪
[ people jeering ]
You can't even believe, like,
that there's
So many random challenges.
But then, somehow,
the stars and moon align
Where it's, like, check into a
hotel with nothing but stickers,
Make out with a girl,
And then, somehow,
a girl is standing in the lobby
Of the place that you're naked
in stickers checking in.
It just happens, like,
and you're like --
You can't even write that.
[ cheering ]
-Okay, stop.
-Okay.
I just thought
I'd make it good, okay?
The key thing
to king of the road would be
You need to know people
with fucked up scruples
And their phone number.
All right, you're gonna have
to find a chick on acid
And a pregnant chick,
and you're like,
"oh, I know somebody
who can find us both."
There's also, uh, most makeouts.
And, uh, I think that's the
shittiest challenge there is,
'cause it's the only challenge
that, at all times,
You have to be doing it.
You're eating --
you know, it doesn't matter
What you're doing, and you see,
like, a group of girls.
And everybody's like,
"dude, got to do it."
So, yeah,
as far as the makeouts,
Like, once you get
into these waters,
You realize that there's
a lot of people out there
Ready to make out.
So, I guess
we're just filling a void.
The making out
with all the chicks --
That one's fine, but I, like,
make out with the old chicks.
One time, when the trip
first started, like,
I was in this mcdonald's.
And this lady was working
behind the counter.
And she seemed, like, excited
And down for, like, skating
and stuff.
And I was like,
"hey, you're over 40, right?"
Like, "yeah!"
-yeah! [laughs]
And I start making out
with this girl.
And then, a minute later,
uh, our photographer,
Lance dawes walks up,
and he's like...
-No!
-Oh, no, no.
And I'm like,
"what the fuck?!"
And everybody
just starting dying.
Like, "you just made out
with this chick
For no reason at all --
no reason, no points.
Just random mcdonald's clerk
just for the hell of it."
[ laughs ]
I had to make out
with a bunch of old ladies.
Man: That was --
can we talk about that?
So, this 63-year-old lady --
-She has minimal teeth.
-Like, none.
Like, I thought
she was just gonna swallow
My whole face off.
-Yes.
She's trying
to eat me, dude!
[ laughter ]
-Oh, it's so bad.
-It was bad, dude.
It was rough, man.
Making out with, like,
some old strippers
That we meet at waffle house
or whatever -- that's hazardous.
It's almost like
they want you to almost die.
We had to find a chick
That looked like somebody
from our team.
And so, we found this chick
that looked like jaws,
And it was actually really good.
But the crazy thing was is
she was actually kind of hot.
♪
The look-alikes are always fun.
[ laughter ]
Huston: When I first saw
the girl look-alike one
In the book, I was like, "mm,
that's gonna be interesting
For whoever has to do that."
And of course,
it comes down to being me.
Burnett:
There's nyjah's look-alike.
She could kickflip,
she made out with him,
And he broke her board,
so it was a triple threat.
She was super-cool
about the whole thing.
[ engine revving ]
There's always something
that gets written on there,
And you're like,
"oh, no one's gonna do this."
And somebody always tries.
♪
Like, skating naked, all right?
I don't know.
A lot of people
don't like the naked stuff.
There's some macho, macho men.
I think it's pretty funny.
You could do the gnarliest trick
naked or whatever.
So, that's when all,
like, the homeys are like,
"uh...
All right, well, you just go
with the filmer over there,
Uh, naked, and we'll --
We'll be over here doing
our thing or whatever."
So, the filmer's got to be like,
"okay, all right, you got it.
You got it."
just try and just --
Just filming
the naked homey, you know?
It's like -- oh, it's kind
of sick and twisted.
Tommy took naked every year.
He just raised the bar so high,
Ollieing huge sets
of stairs naked.
[ laughter ]
♪
[ laughter ]
Yeah, if you were to fall
on your private parts naked,
Any stair
could ruin your life.
[ laughter ]
Damn.
No one wants
to get fucking naked,
Unless you're ed templeton.
♪
I don't have, like, a big cock
or anything, you know,
So I don't know how I'm always
the one who has to get naked.
I guess I'm secure
with my small wiener,
So I don't care enough.
And maybe I'm --
maybe since I'm married,
I don't have anything to lose
by showing a little
Of my little pecker.
Deanna calls it the tater tot.
♪
So, jereme rogers was
just hyped --
So hyped to be naked.
He was kind of like
a new kid coming out,
Super-popular,
and he really showed
His true colors on that trip,
Just so down to get naked
and just --
It foreshadowed his future,
which is, uh --
He's been arrested
for, uh, naked episodes.
[ coughs ]
I didn't mind being naked.
One is either well-endowed
or not.
And it was just more funny.
I was just a young kid
on the tour.
It was just jokes, you know?
See, the situation is
the manual pad might have
A little bit more wax on it
than it's supposed to.
[ laughter ]
'cause I don't think
it's supposed to have any.
King of the road is really hard,
And probably harder than
any of us did skate, you know?
And definitely weirder.
-Aah!
-[ laughs ]
Well, my kissing posture right
there doesn't look very, like,
At ease with this situation.
I'm really glad
I did it, though.
I mean,
it was a great experience.
It was, like, so hard,
I was like,
"I would have no interest
in trying to do that again."
Like, I don't care
if I win that.
Like, fuck.
It's too tough.
[ chuckles ]
-Ohh.
-[ chuckles ]
I think the birdhouse team
fucking set the precedent
With that beer enema
as a practical joke.
That was ruthless.
-Oh!
Man:
One of my favorite challenges
in the book every year is
To prank one of your teammates.
Nobody told jaws
to drink a beer with an enema.
That was not in the book.
And his teammates
knew that he would do it,
'cause he was gullible enough.
'cause I didn't look
at the book.
That was the problem.
I didn't look at the book.
Man: And so, I knew he probably
didn't even know
If that was in the book
or not, and, uh,
So I was like, "hey,
who's gonna do the butt chug?"
And jaws was like, "uh, fuck it.
I guess I'll do it."
The funnel was, like,
that thick, and that's, like --
That's big.
That's big.
[ chuckles ]
You don't ever want to see that.
If you haven't seen that,
you don't want to see it,
'cause it was not pretty.
-[ wretches]
-oh, shit!
Man: One team member sleeps
in the van for a week.
-What?! Sleep in there?
-Ohh, if that were me --
I'm gonna start a week
of sleeping in the van today.
It's the 10th of August
At 6:00 a.M.
Dude, it's so hot.
Nobody has to do anything.
It's all based on what
they're willing to do
And what they're willing
to try in the book.
And a lot of this stuff is
not fun and not easy,
And it's not something that
they would naturally want to do.
So, the team
that just muscles through
And tries to get
as much stuff done
And get strategic
and skate as hard as they can...
That ends up being
the team that wins.
Every single person broke at
one time or another, you know?
People get stressed.
People get beat down.
People get hurt.
People get sad.
'cause by day 9, everybody's
ready to whip out knives
And slit each other's throats.
By day 11, there's a fist fight.
Man:
Tommy came at my one time.
"why don't you shut up
and drive?"
I said, "do your job.
Shut up and drive."
yeah.
I'm like,
"oh, my god, dude.
I'm gonna smash tommy gunz
right now.
I'm gonna choke him to death
in the van right now."
The book never disappointed.
It always delivered.
You know,
it always delivered
That it was gonna take us
to the limits
And past our limits
to a breaking point...
To a level of frustration
and anger and hate...
-Aah!
-For skateboarding
That you never even,
you know, knew existed.
And that's
why I loved it so much is
Because I felt like it was
bringing out the best of us,
Bringing out the worst of us.
I was almost addicted to it.
Fuck!
You have to sleep less,
eat faster,
Eat on the road,
eat on the run.
Don't do anything
outside of the challenges,
Because you're racing the clock.
Man: From the time you wake up
at, like 8:00
Till, like 4:00 in the morning,
You know, you're, like,
just going.
It's like you either do this,
or you don't.
So, like I said earlier,
ante in.
Once you ante in,
you're fucking in the game.
And we're playing for keeps
for the next 12 days.
Ewing: You know, we were just
so hyped to not get last place.
'cause that was the main goal --
don't get last.
That was probably
everybody's main goal.
We tried so fucking hard.
I mean, we gave it
every single thing we had,
And we got dead last.
I don't think we even thought
about winning, like,
When we were on it.
You know, in retrospect,
we realized, like, "oh, yeah.
Ed gets up every morning and
takes the team to whole foods."
And my penchant for getting
eight hours of sleep
And eating good food is not
The way to win king of the road
at all.
I don't think
I realized the magnitude
Of how hard it is
to win the competition.
Suffer the consequences
of getting dead last.
The first year, especially,
maybe there was one team
That said, "I didn't think
you guys were serious."
And I think once they got back
and they saw, like,
What everybody else did,
they were like, "oh, shit.
This was for real."
[ cheering ]
And in first place,
jamie thomas,
The willie nelson
of skateboarding --
Jamie thomas...
-Fuck, yeah!
Phelps: ...Chris cole...
But then, the second year,
jamie thomas and zero got in it,
And then it was just on.
♪
[ cheering ]
I don't see any reason
To do king of the road
unless you're gonna win.
You're not doing it for fun.
Jamie just wants to fucking win.
And he usually has dudes
that are all so fucking gnarly
That if you're gonna
win the contest,
You got to go through
fucking jamie and his crew.
♪
Man: Yeah!
♪
Man: Yes!
♪
Man: Whoo!
Nobody on zero wanted
to work that hard
To get to the finish line
and be like,
"yeah, you got third place."
You know, you put all
that effort in for two weeks,
And you got third place.
So, we just kept telling
ourselves,
"if we're working this hard,
we got to push it
A little bit harder
in order to make sure we win."
And I feel like that philosophy
has to be in your head.
If it's not in your head,
you're wasting time out there.
These guys were working.
There was no fun.
They weren't having fun.
It was, like,
"got to get this trick.
We got to get this trick.
We got to go over here.
We got to get this trick."
And that's why zero won
three times in a row.
It was like they were
in the army or something.
Jamie thomas is known to really,
Really push his skaters
more than usual.
Like, failure's not an option.
I'd seen him just whipping them.
"perform! Show me!
Make them work!"
When jamie thomas did it,
he would pay people at the end.
He's like, "I'll give you $200
to do that."
[ cheers and applause ]
Cole: Chief had tour guide
for the city lined up.
He had the spots
of the city already lined up.
"I remember going here
in '96.
There's this thing
over here I could --
We'll go hit that."
like, it was --
It was that crazy.
I think he grew up perfecting
everything he does,
And when we're
in a contest, competition,
Whatever, he's got to do
whatever he can
To not only perfect
the situation for himself
But everybody else.
Like, he had it all
down to a science.
The first year was, like,
trial and error.
"we're gonna figure out
what works,
Figure out what doesn't work."
Second year, it was
a little bit, like, finer tuned.
Third year, it was like,
"you know what you got to do.
You know where you got to be.
Like, let's just
get it damn done."
Jamie thomas was driven
far beyond anybody.
That's pretty much
why we had to shut it down,
Because it was like
nobody could beat him.
[ cheers and applause ]
We took as serious as, like --
It was as important
as skater of the year.
King of the road was
that important.
It's such a rad trophy.
It's, like, handmade,
And it's the most prized trophy,
for me.
Today, went out,
got a bunch of tricks.
[ laughter ]
fucking killing shit.
And then, we happened to come
across fucking flip dudes
At the last spot we were at.
[ clicks tongue ]
we're killing those dudes.
There's a lot of components
that lead you
To a king of the road victory.
I mean, obviously,
having dudes on the trip
That are talented enough
to do the challenges
In the book or to do the tricks,
But it's really just
about that chemistry
Of everyone being
so committed
That it's the most
important thing on earth
At that point in time.
♪
So, we're in the van.
So -- we like it here.
Cole: What was really good
about zero was,
With each of us, we wanted
to be the absolute best
That we could be
all the time.
None of the dudes wanted
to let a trick beat them,
So if you have five dudes
that want to beat the book,
And they're all going
after anything that's in there,
You're gonna win.
Double flip off the diving board
at barton springs.
Sounds like fun.
-Yes!
-[ laughs ]
-Oh, my god!
-Oh.
Man: Yeah, what's the deal
with your hand?
My hand's fucking broken.
I took my cast off.
I'm trying this shit anyways.
But what makes a good
king of the road skater?
Someone that's just fucking down
for boarding.
♪
man: Whoo!
[ cheering ]
♪ giving it all the best
Yeah!
♪ keeping it all
♪ can't you see
that all this sucks? ♪
[ laughter ]
♪ can't you see
they're all in shock? ♪
♪ can't you see them
running wild?"
♪ can't you see
that all this sucks? ♪
♪
Yeah!
♪
[ cheering ]
♪
Man: Yeah!
♪
[ cheering ]
♪ we're gonna need
a bigger boat ♪
[ cheering ]
I mean, I think we had
a couple of the ultimate
King of the road skaters.
I think that cole
or tommy could have been
The ultimate
king of the road skater.
One year, it was --
you know, cole was m.V.P.,
And one year, tommy was m.V.P.
Tommy and fucking chris cole --
The shit that they did
in those 2004, '05, '06 --
That was fucking demonic.
♪
Man: Yeah!
♪
Whoo!
Who's hitting me
for the most trophies of all?
Who?
His name is
chris mother fucking cole.
I think cole beat
a whole team by himself.
I did.
I did, yeah.
♪
[ cheering ]
Phelps: He hit me for three
king of the roads and two sotys.
That means
he's got five trophies
That I fucking gave him myself.
I mean, that's your ultimate
king of the road skater.
I'm pretty sure tommy gunz got
'05 m.V.P.
♪
-Whoo!
-[laughs] oh, my god!
Tommy is, like, your
quintessential hometown hero.
♪
Tommy sandoval -- I mean,
when I think about it,
The shit that he did
and the stuff that I saw --
That was fucking incredible.
♪ and you
♪ ain't got no beef
I think I was new, like,
fresh am at that point,
So I think jamie's intentions
for taking me was obviously...
♪ look in my eyes
...Partially film
for the zero video
And then, also,
because I was ready...
♪ you don't
...To jump and go get it.
♪ want to mess with me
If you can handle this,
you can handle anything.
♪ 'cause I walk
♪ just like a man
First few king of the roads,
he was the youngest, toughest,
Like, most to prove.
Like, he was just
going for it.
♪
Grosso: 'cause this was a kid
from chula vista.
He had nothing,
and all he could do was skate.
So, jamie takes him
under his wing.
And I remember talking
to tommy and going,
"dude, your whole life
is about to change.
You have no idea."
And he rose to the occasion,
And it was a beautiful thing
to watch.
And he ends up on the cover
of thrasher.
This was insane.
But I came in the last four days
Of a two-week death show
these guys were on.
I was a mystery guest.
[ chuckles ]
The year I went was,
like, washed-up old dudes.
You're gonna get
a washed-up old dude.
And, you know -- and then
we all stumbled off the plane.
Hey.
We're zero.
We're picking you up.
Oh, you guys are bummed.
[ laughter ]
You got stuck with me?
This was the first tour
I had been on in 20 years.
I had just gotten sober,
So I was, like, one
of those war vets, you know?
I was super-punchy, like...
Grosso was just, like, sober
only for, like, a week or two.
It was gnarly -- I think
he, like, died two weeks before.
He o.D.'d, and he was basically
back from the dead
Onto this kind of the road trip.
It was crazy.
I was in the van, I think,
For four days
or something like that.
And, like, those mother fuckers
didn't sleep.
They just drove and skated,
drove and skated.
You sleep in the van.
Man: I got to piss.
Thomas: Grosso wasn't
a hindrance at all.
He was a legend.
That dude ruled.
He knocked
our whole pool page out
In, like, 30 minutes
at strawberry pool,
Like, two weeks
out of the hospital
From being dead, you know,
so, yeah, the dude ruled.
♪
Grosso:
Zero was super fucking cool.
They won their money.
Everybody fucking cheered
and yelled.
They put the whole team
up against a wall
To take a team photo,
And then jamie stopped
the fucking photo,
Made them come find me,
Made sure I got in the photo
for the whole team thing,
Which was sweet, you know?
Class act, the zero guys.
Incredible skateboarders.
My mind was fucking blown.
[ knock on door ]
Oh, it's my child.
There he is.
All 40 pounds of mayhem
and destruction.
Here comes the terrorist.
So, yeah.
Man: Ohh!
We got a chance
at best slam now.
What even happened?
We're in texas, right?
-Yeah.
Uh...I don't know.
Can I even see it
inside your mirror?
-Whoa!
-Yeah, right --
Right there.
-Oh, my god, dude.
Knock on wood, you know?
You just never want
anybody to get hurt,
Even though that's
kind of part of the game
That these guys play.
♪
Matt winterberg did
this trick --
Not that --
but did this trick perfectly --
The louganis,
where you do a ski stance.
And then jamie had him do it
one more time,
'cause he wanted
to film it perfectly,
And he blew out his acl.
Ow! Fuck!
That's it right there!
I hurt my knee.
It's done.
Ah, fuck.
He says that his knee is
really sketchy
When it's straight,
But then it feels somewhat
stable when it's bent.
And it was on, like,
the second day of the trip.
And, again, obviously,
we have no insurance,
So I'll just be --
we'll just be paying cash.
Sandoval: Just this down
an eight-stair.
And it's called
the louganis because it's made
So that you'll land
and hit your head on the stairs.
Like, that's
why it's called that.
Ow! Fuck!
That's it right there!
Probably won't be skating
for a little bit,
But, uh, once we win
this king of the road,
We'll be back next year,
and I'll take you guys out.
-Yeah.
-[ laughs ]
-I hope we win.
-[ laughs ]
That's the reality.
Somebody's getting hurt
on king of the road every year,
You know?
♪
Man: Oh!
You all right?
-Aah!
-Oh.
Ewing: Somebody could get hurt
just trying to, like,
Push themselves too far.
You could definitely
push yourself too far.
[ cheering ]
Man: Oh, dude,
don't let him do that.
Carbondale was a --
it's a town in colorado.
They got this skate park there
with a cradle,
So that was kind of like
the middle of the trip blowout.
Phelps: Call all these people
up, and we're like,
"we're thrasher magazine.
We'd like to have an event
in your town."
And these people were like,
"carbondale?!
You're picking our town?!"
Congratulations.
First annual carbondale run.
They were so fucking hyped
That we were coming
to their town.
It had been promoted
as this big event,
And so people were camping out
on the soccer field.
Carbondale turned into this huge
almost, like, festival
Of just, like, freaks
and crazies from all over.
I don't remember
that time too well.
I just remember
it being madness.
Little did we know that the park
was pretty challenging.
It was raining.
And everybody got
their mystery guest
And went up there
and had a freak-out.
[ cheering ]
We had a fucking -- a rip ride.
That's what we call it.
When something's that good,
we call it rip ride.
Like, rip ride!
It's a venom song.
[ venom's "rip ride" plays ]
Man: Yeah!
[ laughs ]
[ audience ohhs ]
[ cheering ]
The whole thing was crazy just
because the police were there,
But they were having
a good time.
They set up a bb gun gauntlet...
[ bb gun popping ]
And we have footage of
the town sheriff shooting people
With the bb gun.
I think that's the only reason
Why we didn't get sued
by the town.
♪ the deadly race begins
I mean, we were getting rides
from the fire stations.
I mean, it was just
an all-out freak-out.
♪ tonight, we'll fight
with glory in our veins ♪
♪ can't stop us now
the night after the event,
Somebody snuck up the hillside
And set a bunch
of hay bales on fire.
And it made big news
in the town,
And that might have been
their last big skateboard event
They ever had.
Phelps: When we left that town,
it was still smoking.
But we never went back,
But they were like,
"first annual."
They thought it was gonna be,
like, basically
Sturgis for skateboarders.
You like to think
that there's a place
Where there's
some "live and let live,"
But then some asshole always
spoils the fun, don't they?
[ laughter ]
A couple years ago, you know,
a fireworks battle broke out.
Man: They're scared!
Tony:
We haven't even started, like,
The halfway point challenges,
And I'm like, "all right,
this is fucking hilarious."
But at the same time, like,
We don't want to get kicked
out of the spot
Before we get to do
the challenges.
[ fireworks crackle ]
[ fireworks pop ]
All right, last one.
Yeah, but I can't
fucking stop it.
[chuckling] like,
how am I gonna stop it?
With the hand?
Tony: In a field
in the middle of summer,
It was dry as shit,
And, you know,
the fireworks are going off.
[ laughter ]
And then someone's like,
"holy shit."
We run outside and there's,
like, an entire field on fire.
Should have known
that was gonna happen.
A couple of guys got
in big, big trouble over that.
So, needless to say,
there's been a fireworks ban
On king of the road every since.
[ cellphone rings ]
-Hey, mike.
-What up, sam?
Sam:
What's going down?
I don't know if you have
any updates or not,
But, uh, just trying
to see if the, uh --
What your thoughts on the
girl squad making it are.
That'd be sick.
Feel free to tell them
about the tv stuff.
You think berle
would do it?
Do you have a kid?
Is johnny --
Johnny jones
a potential for that?
That's what we need.
You know
who those other teams are.
[ both laugh ]
Well, man, have a good one.
I'll see you on Thursday.
-Sounds good.
-Okay, bye.
Burnett: I just found out
that chocolate's gonna do it,
Guaranteed.
This year, we're filming
king of the road for television,
And the teams are chocolate,
toy machine,
And the defending champs,
birdhouse.
Chocolate,
they're gonna be hard to beat,
Because they're
an all-terrain team.
Like, everybody on the team can,
like, shred anything.
[ chuckling ] ohh!
[ cheers and applause ]
Like, kind of
the cool guys, you know?
But they're not,
like, stiff or nothing.
They're pretty fun-loving.
Toy machine -- toy machine's
been on king of the road
Several times before.
They always do super-good.
This year, though, leo romero,
our skater of the year --
He ain't going.
He's got band practice.
So, it'll be interesting
to see how they do
Without their anchorman.
Last, but not least, birdhouse.
That's tony hawk's company,
Although tony hawk has never
gone on king of the road.
They're super-good.
They've got clint walker,
Who's this super-intense
southern boy...
Whoo! Whoo!
Really fun-loving, really aggro.
Last year, he broke
our windshield
In a fit of rage.
They've won it
two times already,
And they're gunning
for a three-peat.
The only other team
to do that has been zero.
I don't think I would
feel any sort of way
about it, personally.
I'd be
pretty pissed off.
[ laughter ]
When I looked
at the birdhouse one,
I think that they have
something similar
To what we had
when we were doing it.
Everybody there is 100%
committed and dedicated to it.
And they're gonna take it
as far as necessary
In order to win.
Yeah, I don't know.
If we win for the third time,
I don't know what happens.
Maybe we all just quit skating.
I don't know.
I don't -- I don't really
know what happens.
I guess we'll find out
in, uh, a couple weeks.
Get down, man.
Orange jubilee mad dog 20/20
to start
Before you
even open the envelope.
Oh, yeah.
Here we go.
Grosso:
Wash it down with a fucking
bottle of strawberry hill,
And then open up that envelope
and let it roll.
♪
Shit.
It's gonna be 12 days that
you're not going to remember.
You're gonna go,
"I went on that. What happened?"
And you're gonna have
a shitty tattoo.
Somewhere, there's gonna be
a really bad photo
Of a fucking hairdo you had.
Girlfriend's not gonna talk
to you anymore.
♪
[ chuckling ] oh, fuck.
Yeah, she's gonna be bummed.
All that shit's happened
on king of the road.
That's what it is.
Get down.
-Fuck!
-Get bloody.
Dude, this is so fucked.
♪
[ groaning ]
fuck, dude.
King of the road deserves
a look from the outside world.
Right here!
Because, essentially,
king of the road condenses
What skateboarding is --
road trips and fun...
[ laughter ]
Man: Yeah!
Templeton: ...And messing
with each other
And skateboarding.
[ laughter ]
-Oh!
-Aw!
It'll be interesting
to see how, kind of,
People outside
the skateboarding bubble view
What we do.
-Aah!
-Oh!
-Ohh!
-Let the games begin!
♪
-It wasn't that bad.
-[ laughs ]
♪
Aah!
♪
[ screams ]
Burnett: We're gonna send
these guys on the wildest...
-Ohh!
-Most jacked road trip
Of their entire lives.
-Ohh!
-Oh, my god!
-If they can survive this...
-Aah!
Burnett: ...They definitely
deserve to be king of the road.
♪
-Fucking drive!
-Oh!
[ cheering ]
[ railing clangs ]
Man: Fuck, dude!
[ laughter ]
[ singsong voice ]
this is gonna be nuts.
Whoo!
He's lost
his goddamn mind.
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Shit!