King of the Hill (1997–2010): Season 1, Episode 9 - Peggy the Boggle Champ - full transcript
Peggy and Hank head to Dallas so Peggy can compete in a boggle tournament, but Hank decides to forego the tournament in order to attend a lawnmower expo.
PEGGY: Now, Minh, the game of Boggle
is really quite simple.
The goal is to make words out of
these 25 letter cubes.
Bametomyam.
It's gotta be a real word, honey.
Yes. Bametomyam.
Thai spicy noodle soup.
Tasty and delicious.
I tell you, I hate to see Nancy cooped
up all Sunday, playing that Boggle.
It's a beautiful day.
She ought to be outside,
hanging my laundry.
ANNOUNCER: Sunday! Sunday!
And Saturday.
It's the 9th Annual Dallas Mower Expo.
Be there, as the biggest names in mowers
unveil the latest grass-cutting technology.
Thrill to the spectacle of
the Snapper Precision-Mowing Team!
See King Mulch take on
a Texas-sized pile of twigs!
Over 10,000 oil paintings must be sold!
Don't miss the Dallas Mower Expo!
Be there!
PEGGY: "Pad Thai" doesn't count, Minh.
I guess I win again.
Boy, Aunt Peg, the words I don't know
could fill a dictionary.
The Elks are having a Boggle tournament
to raise bail money for their treasurer.
Maybe you should enter.
Me? Oh, fish. I just play for fun.
Minh, you owe me $13.
Thank you for Boggle lesson, Peggy Hill.
Maybe next week I teach you mahjong.
Bring your checkbook!
Hank, I'm thinking of entering
a Boggle tournament over at the Elks.
Boggle? Boy, the Elks will do
anything for a dollar.
Are they still playing that game where
the cow's gotta drop dung in a square?
Boggle is nothing like Cow Bingo, Hank.
Boggle is a game of wits.
Now, Cow Bingo is a game of strategy.
Hoo-yeah!
All right, Peggy, I replaced
my watch battery, ate a Cinnabon...
and bought a P-trap.
I can't kill any more time. Let's go.
Shh, Hank. It is only Round 5.
"Impatient."
Okay, that's time. Pencils down.
Let's tote 'em up.
I hope you don't mind, but I only used
words that appear in Patsy Cline lyrics.
Okay.
Hoo-yeah!
Boy, that wife of yours is pretty good.
I guess that's why they call her
your better half.
Who calls her that?
They.
And I hope that your leg
gets better real soon...
Zachary Quinn Jr.
MAN: How does she do it?
LUANNE: Oh, my goodness!
Congratulations!
BOBBY: You won, Mom!
Looks like someone is gonna have to
clear some room on his trophy shelf.
HANK: Hey, easy, Peggy.
That's my MVP trophy.
Mom's trophy is bigger than yours.
Oh, pooh. I don't care about the trophy.
The real honor is getting to represent
Arlen in the State Boggle Championship.
You're going to State? That is so exciting!
Just like when Uncle Hank went
to State for high school football.
Oh, yeah. It's exactly like that, Luanne.
PEGGY: Oh, well, it might not be football,
but there are over 200 competitors...
and you're allowed to bring a coach.
You wanna be my coach?
A Boggle coach? What would I do?
You don't have to do anything.
You just have to be there.
Unless you want me to go off
to Dallas by myself.
Dallas? I don't want you
going to Dallas at all!
That place is crawling
with crackheads and debutantes!
Half of them play for the Cowboys.
Come on, Hank. It's just for the weekend.
We'll be back on Sunday.
ANNOUNCER: Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!
Guess who's going to the mower show?
If you guess right, you can come with me.
It's you. Right? Did I win?
Am I going?
Boy, how'd you manage
to swing that with Peggy?
She don't like mowers
like we like mowers.
Simple. I found
a Boggle tournament in Dallas...
to keep her busy,
while we have some real fun.
Check it out, man. Talk about road trip.
The Big D Motel, man.
You're talking about "The biggest names
in mowers and clippers! Be there!"
Man, it's gonna be fun.
Let's go, Peggy! We gotta get to Dallas
before the gangs wake up!
PEGGY: Hank! Shh! It's 4:00 a.m.
Can I go back to bed, Aunt Peggy?
I need to get eight hours of beauty sleep
and then write a paper on it.
In a minute, honey.
Now, it is very important...
that we know we can trust you two.
Now, no parties while we're gone.
Okay.
Bye-bye.
On behalf
of the Arlen Boggle Boosters...
I'd like to present you with this jacket.
Good luck, Peggy! W-l-N!
I promise to make Dairy King,
Mr. Lube, and Rivera Sump Pumps proud!
This weekend, Peggy Hill is gonna
put Arlen, Texas, on the map!
Okay, Peggy Hill.
Good luck and maybe goodbye.
Maybe?
Where I come from, either you come home
a winner or you not come home at all!
Good luck, Peggy Hill. Goodbye.
- What are you watching?
- Risky Business.
Luanne, that movie's got bad words
and adult situations.
Not anymore. I rented it at Blockbuster.
I also got a fire-safety video
starring Chuck Mangione! Want to watch?
No, thanks. I'm kinda
in the middle of doing laundry.
Okay. But remember...
Chuck says,
"Always unplug your iron after use."
BOBBY: Thanks for the tip.
It's okay, honey. Valet parking is
included in the price of the room.
I don't like the looks of this one, Peggy.
He's just itching
to take my truck for a joyride.
PEGGY: Oh, Hank!
It's lovely. Look at that.
Look, everyone. It's Peggy Hill.
Boggle champ of Arlen, Texas.
JOAN: I'm Joan,
Boggle Hospitality Coordinator.
Here's your tournament tote bag,
a schedule of events, and a Boggle lei.
Joan, this is my husband, Hank.
Wonderful! We have tons of activities
to occupy you while Peggy plays Boggle.
You look like you could use a wallet.
Would you like to make a wallet?
I don't think so.
Harley Davidson already made one for me.
Now, Hank is not just my husband.
He is also my coach.
Well, then you'll be needing one of these.
Come on, Peggy. There's a Parker Brother
I want you to meet.
TV: So take it from me, Chuck Mangione...
unplugging the iron feels so good!
Can you dig it?
LUANNE: Bobby, wait! Use a coaster!
Uh-oh.
What have you done?
That coffee table is trashed!
Your parents trusted us, Bobby,
and we let them down.
They won't be home for 48 hours!
I'll think of something.
Hey, I got it! You think of something.
HANK: I'm checking in.
The name's Hank Hill.
- Nope, I have a Peggy Hill.
- Yeah, that's it. Hank and Peggy Hill.
I have a Peggy Hill.
She's my wife!
Oh, okay. "Mr. And Mrs. Peggy Hill."
Now, you listen to me!
The name is Hank Hill! Mr. Hank Hill!
Peggy married me! I didn't marry her!
What are you looking at?
Oh, look, Peggy, it's Cissy Cobb...
Boggle champion of Dallas
for seven non-consecutive years.
PEGGY: Oh, excuse me, Cissy.
I am fellow Boggle champ, Peggy Hill.
My, my. What an interesting jacket.
Did you patch that together yourself?
Actually, it was given to me
by the Arlen Boggle Boosters.
They got local businesses
to sponsor my trip.
Oh, how exciting.
Why, you're at the very beginning
of a rags-to-riches story.
BOBBY: Okay. The guy at Home Depot
said all we gotta do...
is strip, sand, varnish, buff, varnish...
buff, varnish, wax, buff.
Oh, God! Your parents are gonna
be home in 47 hours! Hurry!
No!
BOBBY: That was close.
BURNETT: Why, hello there, Peggy Hill.
Name's Burnett,
Cissy Cobb's husband-coach.
Actually, my name...
You don't have to explain.
I got an uncle named Leslie.
And the Duke himself, John Wayne,
was really named Marion.
You take that back!
BOBBY: The stain's not coming out!
I'm gonna put it on high.
PEGGY: Oh, Hank.
I have dreamt of this moment
ever since I reached ages-8-and-up.
Yeah. So I'll see you at dinner.
I gotta get to the mower show.
You can't leave now.
You are my coach. I need you.
You, of all people, should understand,
I am at State.
This is my moment.
You know, when I close my eyes,
I see myself in the winner's circle.
And you are right there next to me.
My coach. My man.
And we drive back to Arlen
with that big-ass Boggle trophy...
mounted on the hood of your old truck
like some beautiful, gold-plated...
bare-breasted, Rolls Royce angel!
Well, when I close my eyes,
I see myself at the mower show...
and you're there, too,
like some beauty queen of yore...
wearing a fur coat and a gold hat.
Oh, all right! I'll stay.
EMCEE: Coaches, please
clear the gaming floor!
Oh, I forgot. Coaches have to watch
from a closed-circuit TV room.
Hold my purse?
Well, hello, Patches.
You must be here for your Boggle lesson.
EMCEE: Bogglers, take your marks!
Oh, yeah.
Vowel cubes are running cold.
Coaches note.
It's a good day for "sometimes Y."
Hey, Cobb, for $7.50, I can ride
the mower that cut the Grassy Knoll.
"Patina, pendant, panoply, and lobster."
Cissy Cobb, 73 points!
Peggy Hill, your words, please.
"Dang."
"Dang" is not a word!
That's just some backwoods patois.
Winner, Cissy Cobb! 73-0.
Dang.
I am so stupid!
Oh, you're not stupid.
Heck, you're smarter than me.
Oh, big deal.
Well, you're smarter
than anyone else in Arlen.
Well, whoop-dee-doo!
I am the smartest hillbilly
in Hillbilly Town!
I'm trying, Peggy, I just...
You know, Coach said something that
would fire us up when we were behind.
Yeah? What?
Loser! You're a loser!
Are you feeling sorry for yourself?
Well, you should be, 'cause you are dirt!
You make me sick, you big baby!
Baby want a bottle? A big dirt bottle?
Why are you yelling at me?
I'm trying to be your coach!
It's inspiring.
Well, thank you.
'Cause I feel worse than ever.
Well, it worked for the team.
PEGGY: No, it didn't.
You went to State and lost.
Oh, jeez.
I think I need one of those $8 beers.
PEGGY: You were right, Hank. I am a loser.
I am 255 out of 256.
Oh, come on now.
You're still doing better than...
Boggle Playing Chicken.
EMCEE: Coaches!
Please clear the gaming floor.
Well, I guess that's my cue.
You want me to hold your purse?
Fine. This shouldn't take
very long anyway.
BILL: Wow, would you look at this place?
I feel like the Pretty Woman.
DALE: Hank?
Oh! Hi, guys.
- What are you doing with that purse?
- I'm holding it for Peggy.
Uh-huh.
Come on, man.
We're missing the mower show! Let's go!
Well, maybe tomorrow.
What's going on here, Hank?
I got a pretty good dang old idea what's
going on. I tell you what, man. It's a...
Two days ago, you were like a little boy,
all excited about the mower show.
Now, you're this strange man
holding a purse.
Which is it, Hank?
Are you some kind of man?
Or are you a little boy?
I am still a little boy, damn it!
And I am still excited about going
to the mower show. Come on, let's go!
Winner, Peggy Hill!
Oh, I don't believe it!
You played a great game.
ANNOUNCER: And on display in
Booth 5, the blade from Slingblade.
DALE: "Liberace's Mower,
no flash photography."
BOBBY: You sure you can get that
ring out? I can't afford any more screwups.
I just spent my last dollar
on deodorizing carpet sealant.
What color is that? Is that Eggshell White?
It's gotta be Swiss Coffee!
Oh, baby!
Oh, man!
Winner, Peggy Hill!
Winner, Peggy Hill!
Winner, Peggy Hill!
I did it! Guess what, Hank?
We are going to the finals!
Look at old Boomhauer,
rolling and dodging and such.
BOOMHAUER: Dang! Somebody
pick up that dang old rock!
I tell you, I haven't had this much fun
since our last football road trip.
Remember? When we went to State?
And even old Peg was there. Remember?
Yeah, I remember.
Cheering her heart out
when we were down 28-0.
Man, this dang old piece of crap.
Dang old blocked up.
Get the grass out. There it is.
I ain't got no fingers!
JOAN: I'm sorry, Peggy.
We have to start the finals.
Okay. As soon as I find my husband.
I mean, coach.
He's probably just refilling my rosin bag.
CISSY: Don't kid yourself. He's probably
too embarrassed to watch me beat you.
PEGGY: Cissy Cobb?
That's right, Patches!
Looks like it's you and me in the finals.
Hank?
BRENT: Hello, and welcome
to the Texas State Boggle Championships.
We're coming to you live on the
Dallas Grand Plaza Hospitality Channel...
I'm Brent Steel and with me
is Boggle grand master, Alexi Golgarin.
Thanks, Brent.
This should be a great final match.
Two great Bogglers.
Only one will be winner.
All right, it's gonna be best of three.
I want a clean game.
No foreign words.
No foreign objects. Shake!
PEGGY: Oh, Hank.
BRENT: Cissy Cobb is off
to an excellent start in Round 1.
ALEXl: Peggy Hill hesitated.
That's going to cost her
at least a four-letter word.
BRENT: There goes Peggy Hill's pencil!
ALEXl: With no coach,
she's really at a disadvantage.
BRENT: Incredible!
What a scrapper! What a save!
BRENT: The players will now read their
word lists, starting with Peggy Hill.
"Sad, abandoned, abandons...
"bad, man..."
BRENT: We're in the final round
of this championship match...
and Peggy Hill is far behind.
Peggy!
ALEXl: Peggy Hill is down
to her last pencil.
She has no more pencils in reserve.
Everything rides on this pencil!
BRENT: This is awful.
I think it's all over for Peggy Hill.
Hank! Where the hell have you been?
It doesn't matter where I've been.
I figured out where I should be.
Now, let's show them
how we play Boggle in Arlen!
Whatever you say, Coach!
Hoo-yeah!
BRENT: Peggy Hill was writing up a storm.
But will it be enough?
"Caviar, chinchilla, harpsichord."
ALEXl: What confidence.
She wrote "harpsichord."
But not "harp" and not "chord."
A very bold gambit.
"Fish, fishes, slaw..."
BRENT: Peggy Hill is using
the opposite strategy.
A long list of short words
to narrow the gap.
"...churn, churns...
"apron, aprons..."
BRENT: She needs 10 more points,
and she only has one word remaining.
"Ain't"?
"Ain't" is not a word! I win!
It ain't "ain't," Cissy Cobb.
The word is "acquaintanceship"...
as in, "It was not my pleasure
to make your acquaintanceship."
I win!
BRENT: What an incredible upset!
Peggy Hill is the new
Texas State Boggle champion!
Now, a description of the hotel fire safety
procedures with Chuck Mangione.
You did it, Peggy, just like you said!
You're in the winner's circle!
And you are right beside me, Hank.
Loser! You're a loser!
Are you feeling sorry for yourself?
Well, you should be!
You know, there's something Coach said
he would do if we ever won the big game.
Oh, yeah? What's that?
BOBBY: Let's go! Let's go! My parents
are gonna be home any minute!
What the hell is going on here?
This party is officially over!
You kids get out of here
before I call your parents!
I don't know how you two
could be so irresponsible.
You are both grounded.
What were you thinking?
You've got school tomorrow!
is really quite simple.
The goal is to make words out of
these 25 letter cubes.
Bametomyam.
It's gotta be a real word, honey.
Yes. Bametomyam.
Thai spicy noodle soup.
Tasty and delicious.
I tell you, I hate to see Nancy cooped
up all Sunday, playing that Boggle.
It's a beautiful day.
She ought to be outside,
hanging my laundry.
ANNOUNCER: Sunday! Sunday!
And Saturday.
It's the 9th Annual Dallas Mower Expo.
Be there, as the biggest names in mowers
unveil the latest grass-cutting technology.
Thrill to the spectacle of
the Snapper Precision-Mowing Team!
See King Mulch take on
a Texas-sized pile of twigs!
Over 10,000 oil paintings must be sold!
Don't miss the Dallas Mower Expo!
Be there!
PEGGY: "Pad Thai" doesn't count, Minh.
I guess I win again.
Boy, Aunt Peg, the words I don't know
could fill a dictionary.
The Elks are having a Boggle tournament
to raise bail money for their treasurer.
Maybe you should enter.
Me? Oh, fish. I just play for fun.
Minh, you owe me $13.
Thank you for Boggle lesson, Peggy Hill.
Maybe next week I teach you mahjong.
Bring your checkbook!
Hank, I'm thinking of entering
a Boggle tournament over at the Elks.
Boggle? Boy, the Elks will do
anything for a dollar.
Are they still playing that game where
the cow's gotta drop dung in a square?
Boggle is nothing like Cow Bingo, Hank.
Boggle is a game of wits.
Now, Cow Bingo is a game of strategy.
Hoo-yeah!
All right, Peggy, I replaced
my watch battery, ate a Cinnabon...
and bought a P-trap.
I can't kill any more time. Let's go.
Shh, Hank. It is only Round 5.
"Impatient."
Okay, that's time. Pencils down.
Let's tote 'em up.
I hope you don't mind, but I only used
words that appear in Patsy Cline lyrics.
Okay.
Hoo-yeah!
Boy, that wife of yours is pretty good.
I guess that's why they call her
your better half.
Who calls her that?
They.
And I hope that your leg
gets better real soon...
Zachary Quinn Jr.
MAN: How does she do it?
LUANNE: Oh, my goodness!
Congratulations!
BOBBY: You won, Mom!
Looks like someone is gonna have to
clear some room on his trophy shelf.
HANK: Hey, easy, Peggy.
That's my MVP trophy.
Mom's trophy is bigger than yours.
Oh, pooh. I don't care about the trophy.
The real honor is getting to represent
Arlen in the State Boggle Championship.
You're going to State? That is so exciting!
Just like when Uncle Hank went
to State for high school football.
Oh, yeah. It's exactly like that, Luanne.
PEGGY: Oh, well, it might not be football,
but there are over 200 competitors...
and you're allowed to bring a coach.
You wanna be my coach?
A Boggle coach? What would I do?
You don't have to do anything.
You just have to be there.
Unless you want me to go off
to Dallas by myself.
Dallas? I don't want you
going to Dallas at all!
That place is crawling
with crackheads and debutantes!
Half of them play for the Cowboys.
Come on, Hank. It's just for the weekend.
We'll be back on Sunday.
ANNOUNCER: Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!
Guess who's going to the mower show?
If you guess right, you can come with me.
It's you. Right? Did I win?
Am I going?
Boy, how'd you manage
to swing that with Peggy?
She don't like mowers
like we like mowers.
Simple. I found
a Boggle tournament in Dallas...
to keep her busy,
while we have some real fun.
Check it out, man. Talk about road trip.
The Big D Motel, man.
You're talking about "The biggest names
in mowers and clippers! Be there!"
Man, it's gonna be fun.
Let's go, Peggy! We gotta get to Dallas
before the gangs wake up!
PEGGY: Hank! Shh! It's 4:00 a.m.
Can I go back to bed, Aunt Peggy?
I need to get eight hours of beauty sleep
and then write a paper on it.
In a minute, honey.
Now, it is very important...
that we know we can trust you two.
Now, no parties while we're gone.
Okay.
Bye-bye.
On behalf
of the Arlen Boggle Boosters...
I'd like to present you with this jacket.
Good luck, Peggy! W-l-N!
I promise to make Dairy King,
Mr. Lube, and Rivera Sump Pumps proud!
This weekend, Peggy Hill is gonna
put Arlen, Texas, on the map!
Okay, Peggy Hill.
Good luck and maybe goodbye.
Maybe?
Where I come from, either you come home
a winner or you not come home at all!
Good luck, Peggy Hill. Goodbye.
- What are you watching?
- Risky Business.
Luanne, that movie's got bad words
and adult situations.
Not anymore. I rented it at Blockbuster.
I also got a fire-safety video
starring Chuck Mangione! Want to watch?
No, thanks. I'm kinda
in the middle of doing laundry.
Okay. But remember...
Chuck says,
"Always unplug your iron after use."
BOBBY: Thanks for the tip.
It's okay, honey. Valet parking is
included in the price of the room.
I don't like the looks of this one, Peggy.
He's just itching
to take my truck for a joyride.
PEGGY: Oh, Hank!
It's lovely. Look at that.
Look, everyone. It's Peggy Hill.
Boggle champ of Arlen, Texas.
JOAN: I'm Joan,
Boggle Hospitality Coordinator.
Here's your tournament tote bag,
a schedule of events, and a Boggle lei.
Joan, this is my husband, Hank.
Wonderful! We have tons of activities
to occupy you while Peggy plays Boggle.
You look like you could use a wallet.
Would you like to make a wallet?
I don't think so.
Harley Davidson already made one for me.
Now, Hank is not just my husband.
He is also my coach.
Well, then you'll be needing one of these.
Come on, Peggy. There's a Parker Brother
I want you to meet.
TV: So take it from me, Chuck Mangione...
unplugging the iron feels so good!
Can you dig it?
LUANNE: Bobby, wait! Use a coaster!
Uh-oh.
What have you done?
That coffee table is trashed!
Your parents trusted us, Bobby,
and we let them down.
They won't be home for 48 hours!
I'll think of something.
Hey, I got it! You think of something.
HANK: I'm checking in.
The name's Hank Hill.
- Nope, I have a Peggy Hill.
- Yeah, that's it. Hank and Peggy Hill.
I have a Peggy Hill.
She's my wife!
Oh, okay. "Mr. And Mrs. Peggy Hill."
Now, you listen to me!
The name is Hank Hill! Mr. Hank Hill!
Peggy married me! I didn't marry her!
What are you looking at?
Oh, look, Peggy, it's Cissy Cobb...
Boggle champion of Dallas
for seven non-consecutive years.
PEGGY: Oh, excuse me, Cissy.
I am fellow Boggle champ, Peggy Hill.
My, my. What an interesting jacket.
Did you patch that together yourself?
Actually, it was given to me
by the Arlen Boggle Boosters.
They got local businesses
to sponsor my trip.
Oh, how exciting.
Why, you're at the very beginning
of a rags-to-riches story.
BOBBY: Okay. The guy at Home Depot
said all we gotta do...
is strip, sand, varnish, buff, varnish...
buff, varnish, wax, buff.
Oh, God! Your parents are gonna
be home in 47 hours! Hurry!
No!
BOBBY: That was close.
BURNETT: Why, hello there, Peggy Hill.
Name's Burnett,
Cissy Cobb's husband-coach.
Actually, my name...
You don't have to explain.
I got an uncle named Leslie.
And the Duke himself, John Wayne,
was really named Marion.
You take that back!
BOBBY: The stain's not coming out!
I'm gonna put it on high.
PEGGY: Oh, Hank.
I have dreamt of this moment
ever since I reached ages-8-and-up.
Yeah. So I'll see you at dinner.
I gotta get to the mower show.
You can't leave now.
You are my coach. I need you.
You, of all people, should understand,
I am at State.
This is my moment.
You know, when I close my eyes,
I see myself in the winner's circle.
And you are right there next to me.
My coach. My man.
And we drive back to Arlen
with that big-ass Boggle trophy...
mounted on the hood of your old truck
like some beautiful, gold-plated...
bare-breasted, Rolls Royce angel!
Well, when I close my eyes,
I see myself at the mower show...
and you're there, too,
like some beauty queen of yore...
wearing a fur coat and a gold hat.
Oh, all right! I'll stay.
EMCEE: Coaches, please
clear the gaming floor!
Oh, I forgot. Coaches have to watch
from a closed-circuit TV room.
Hold my purse?
Well, hello, Patches.
You must be here for your Boggle lesson.
EMCEE: Bogglers, take your marks!
Oh, yeah.
Vowel cubes are running cold.
Coaches note.
It's a good day for "sometimes Y."
Hey, Cobb, for $7.50, I can ride
the mower that cut the Grassy Knoll.
"Patina, pendant, panoply, and lobster."
Cissy Cobb, 73 points!
Peggy Hill, your words, please.
"Dang."
"Dang" is not a word!
That's just some backwoods patois.
Winner, Cissy Cobb! 73-0.
Dang.
I am so stupid!
Oh, you're not stupid.
Heck, you're smarter than me.
Oh, big deal.
Well, you're smarter
than anyone else in Arlen.
Well, whoop-dee-doo!
I am the smartest hillbilly
in Hillbilly Town!
I'm trying, Peggy, I just...
You know, Coach said something that
would fire us up when we were behind.
Yeah? What?
Loser! You're a loser!
Are you feeling sorry for yourself?
Well, you should be, 'cause you are dirt!
You make me sick, you big baby!
Baby want a bottle? A big dirt bottle?
Why are you yelling at me?
I'm trying to be your coach!
It's inspiring.
Well, thank you.
'Cause I feel worse than ever.
Well, it worked for the team.
PEGGY: No, it didn't.
You went to State and lost.
Oh, jeez.
I think I need one of those $8 beers.
PEGGY: You were right, Hank. I am a loser.
I am 255 out of 256.
Oh, come on now.
You're still doing better than...
Boggle Playing Chicken.
EMCEE: Coaches!
Please clear the gaming floor.
Well, I guess that's my cue.
You want me to hold your purse?
Fine. This shouldn't take
very long anyway.
BILL: Wow, would you look at this place?
I feel like the Pretty Woman.
DALE: Hank?
Oh! Hi, guys.
- What are you doing with that purse?
- I'm holding it for Peggy.
Uh-huh.
Come on, man.
We're missing the mower show! Let's go!
Well, maybe tomorrow.
What's going on here, Hank?
I got a pretty good dang old idea what's
going on. I tell you what, man. It's a...
Two days ago, you were like a little boy,
all excited about the mower show.
Now, you're this strange man
holding a purse.
Which is it, Hank?
Are you some kind of man?
Or are you a little boy?
I am still a little boy, damn it!
And I am still excited about going
to the mower show. Come on, let's go!
Winner, Peggy Hill!
Oh, I don't believe it!
You played a great game.
ANNOUNCER: And on display in
Booth 5, the blade from Slingblade.
DALE: "Liberace's Mower,
no flash photography."
BOBBY: You sure you can get that
ring out? I can't afford any more screwups.
I just spent my last dollar
on deodorizing carpet sealant.
What color is that? Is that Eggshell White?
It's gotta be Swiss Coffee!
Oh, baby!
Oh, man!
Winner, Peggy Hill!
Winner, Peggy Hill!
Winner, Peggy Hill!
I did it! Guess what, Hank?
We are going to the finals!
Look at old Boomhauer,
rolling and dodging and such.
BOOMHAUER: Dang! Somebody
pick up that dang old rock!
I tell you, I haven't had this much fun
since our last football road trip.
Remember? When we went to State?
And even old Peg was there. Remember?
Yeah, I remember.
Cheering her heart out
when we were down 28-0.
Man, this dang old piece of crap.
Dang old blocked up.
Get the grass out. There it is.
I ain't got no fingers!
JOAN: I'm sorry, Peggy.
We have to start the finals.
Okay. As soon as I find my husband.
I mean, coach.
He's probably just refilling my rosin bag.
CISSY: Don't kid yourself. He's probably
too embarrassed to watch me beat you.
PEGGY: Cissy Cobb?
That's right, Patches!
Looks like it's you and me in the finals.
Hank?
BRENT: Hello, and welcome
to the Texas State Boggle Championships.
We're coming to you live on the
Dallas Grand Plaza Hospitality Channel...
I'm Brent Steel and with me
is Boggle grand master, Alexi Golgarin.
Thanks, Brent.
This should be a great final match.
Two great Bogglers.
Only one will be winner.
All right, it's gonna be best of three.
I want a clean game.
No foreign words.
No foreign objects. Shake!
PEGGY: Oh, Hank.
BRENT: Cissy Cobb is off
to an excellent start in Round 1.
ALEXl: Peggy Hill hesitated.
That's going to cost her
at least a four-letter word.
BRENT: There goes Peggy Hill's pencil!
ALEXl: With no coach,
she's really at a disadvantage.
BRENT: Incredible!
What a scrapper! What a save!
BRENT: The players will now read their
word lists, starting with Peggy Hill.
"Sad, abandoned, abandons...
"bad, man..."
BRENT: We're in the final round
of this championship match...
and Peggy Hill is far behind.
Peggy!
ALEXl: Peggy Hill is down
to her last pencil.
She has no more pencils in reserve.
Everything rides on this pencil!
BRENT: This is awful.
I think it's all over for Peggy Hill.
Hank! Where the hell have you been?
It doesn't matter where I've been.
I figured out where I should be.
Now, let's show them
how we play Boggle in Arlen!
Whatever you say, Coach!
Hoo-yeah!
BRENT: Peggy Hill was writing up a storm.
But will it be enough?
"Caviar, chinchilla, harpsichord."
ALEXl: What confidence.
She wrote "harpsichord."
But not "harp" and not "chord."
A very bold gambit.
"Fish, fishes, slaw..."
BRENT: Peggy Hill is using
the opposite strategy.
A long list of short words
to narrow the gap.
"...churn, churns...
"apron, aprons..."
BRENT: She needs 10 more points,
and she only has one word remaining.
"Ain't"?
"Ain't" is not a word! I win!
It ain't "ain't," Cissy Cobb.
The word is "acquaintanceship"...
as in, "It was not my pleasure
to make your acquaintanceship."
I win!
BRENT: What an incredible upset!
Peggy Hill is the new
Texas State Boggle champion!
Now, a description of the hotel fire safety
procedures with Chuck Mangione.
You did it, Peggy, just like you said!
You're in the winner's circle!
And you are right beside me, Hank.
Loser! You're a loser!
Are you feeling sorry for yourself?
Well, you should be!
You know, there's something Coach said
he would do if we ever won the big game.
Oh, yeah? What's that?
BOBBY: Let's go! Let's go! My parents
are gonna be home any minute!
What the hell is going on here?
This party is officially over!
You kids get out of here
before I call your parents!
I don't know how you two
could be so irresponsible.
You are both grounded.
What were you thinking?
You've got school tomorrow!