Kim's Convenience (2016–…): Season 4, Episode 12 - Knife Strife - full transcript

- What's this?
- Snack.

Snack is, uh, convenient

Ready-to-eat finger food.

Yeah. Use your finger
to hold knife and cut food.

Yeobo, next time
something more convenient.

Like a snackable.

I already bring you
snack apple.

No, snackable.

These, hm?

Just have to
open and eat.

Huh. Yeah.



Maybe use something sharp
to cut.

No, don't need
a knife.

That's the whole point,
hm.

Snackable is cooking...

Maybe you need
to rest.

Have apple,
then try again.

You thank me later.

*KIM's CONVENIENCE*
Season 04 Episode 12

Episode Title: "Knife Strife"
Aired on: March 24, 2020

- Hi.
- Hi.

Yes, grab a drink
and then get back

And doing nothing
about the crime

in this neighborhood.

Things getting worse, huh.



More gang, more steal.

Kids vaping their brains
out on the street

at all hours of the day.

Yeah, kid spray-paint
all over wall, huh.

By Felicia.
Who's Felicia?

Where is she going?

Yet, when you complain
to the police, nothing.

Waste of...
ah, root beer.

Excellent choice, officer.

One dollar plus tax.

Oh.

Uh, speak about tax,

How come so much of my
tax money go to the police

But neighborhood
crime is more?

We're doing our best, sir.

I know you is under pressure
and the job is hard,

But so many steal,
so many fights.

So many people
with off-leash dogs

Who say they're friendly
but who know, huh?

Well, I'll mention it
to my supervisor.

Maybe there's something
more that we can do.

Yeah, okay.
Hope so.

Lots of police say but
maybe this time it's different.

- Maybe.
- Excuse me?

Nothing.

- Got the goods.
- Great.

Just put them
somewhere accessible

But not distracting.

What's with that?

The gthbmagm?

The greater Turner handy branch
manager annual general meeting.

That's why we had to go nuts
with the donuts.

Yeah, I was more asking
about the drawings.

I also did a pretty
bad-ass volcano.

Seems little casual
for a managers' meeting.

Don't worry about it, rookie.

These meetings are
kinda informal.

More like a tailgate.

So, drunk in a parking lot?

Just relax,
talking shop,

Sharing war stories.

Plus a dinner
head office pays for.

Yeah, sorry...

I just put a lot of work
for what I thought was

Two days of intense meetings.

Oh, that's great. It's not like
work doesn't get done,

But things can get
a little rowdy.

And watch out for Randy.

I had to ransack her.

Swapped my protein powder
for baby formula.

Somewhere out there
is a really ripped baby.

I don't think the baby
had to eat your protein powder.

Hm, you don't get it yet.

Randy's bark is
worse than his bite.

And when he bites,

He almost never breaks
the skin.

Gotcha.

Honestly, it's gonna be
so much fun

and as long as you, you know,
just go along with the group.

Sounds like a cult.

God, no.
That'd be so much easier.

Good afternoon.
Do you have a minute?

I didn't know
it was school zone,

And 90 is speed limit
on lots of roads.

We're actually here
to see Mr. Kim.

I'm Mr. Kim.

I understand you had some issues
with the policing in this area.

- Maybe.
- It's okay.

We're trying to work more
with community leaders.

Yeah,
that's the problem, huh.

You always talk to
community leader

Instead of regular people.

No, I mean
community leaders like you.

Oh, yeah!

Good to work with me too.

- We need people like you...
- Community leader.

Yes. To come forward with any
helpful information they may help.

Of course, we snitch.
Any time.

You mess up,
we fess up.

That's not what I meant.

But if you know or heard anything
about the recent break-ins?

Or the stabbing last night.

Stabbing?
What do you mean?

Just that someone was,
you know, stabbed.

You catch who did?

Unfortunately,
we don't have a lot to go on.

No description, no weapon.
Nothing.

So then he or she,
but probably he, is still out there.

Correct. So let us know if you
see or remember anything.

Okay, okay.

Best to give to leader, huh.

Ah, on behalf of community,
thank you.

Hey.

I give him two minutes.

- Sorry?
- Good luck, fresh meat.

Charles, looking good.
Have you lost some hair?

I do okay.

I have had three wives.

I've had a couple husbands.

Question is, have you
ever been married?

- Ooh.
- Sorry, Randy.

I couldn't hear you
over the sound of every

woman in the universe
screaming, "no!"

Sha-zap.

- Okay.
- At least Pete's ex-wife

let him keep his ugly ties.

You know, I actually like that tie.

Oh, great. Pete,
the guy with the faux-hawk

here wants
some fashion tips.

Faux-hawk. That's good.

Don't compliment me,
emo.

So is this a
'something about Mary situation, '

Or did you style it
like that on purpose?

Follow up question,
why?

This is fun, but maybe
we should get started.

We already have, chuckles.
Who brought the mathlete?

Hey?
Leave my guy alone.

He did a bunch of homework
before the big meeting today,

So he could impress
teacher.

Stay down,
assistant managers.

Ya useless.

All right. Let him find his
soother sweet and cry it out.

Aw!

- What the hell?
- That was so good, you really fit in.

Fit into what?
You called me useless.

If I didn't do that,
they would have started piling on

It's just a little
friendly fire.

Like our soldiers are shot
in the back by their own side?

Exactly. I have to go
or they'll sense weakness.

Keep it up,
you're doing great.

Hey, Pete. I heard
your kid turned five.

How does it feel to be going
head-to-head with equal brain power?

Ooh!

- Ouch.
- Damn.

Do you need any help,
ransacking?

Yeobo, where you put knife?

Snack apple knife?

Somewhere.

You want to go to jail?

Why we go to jail?

Remember police say
there's stabbing the other day?

Oh, my God, umma,
what did you do?

I just find knife.

You find
the stabbing knife.

No, I don't know.

I just find good knife,
so I take.

You let me eat snack
made with the murder knife?

Police say 'stabbing'
not murder.

I let me eat snack made
with attempt murder knife.

Why do you think
it was used for the stabbing?

I find in dumpster.

I put in my mouth

Apple cut with the blood
and the garbage of murder knife?

Why were you in the dumpster?

I was just taking out
the garbage.

And then I see it,
miyazaki paring knife.

Always stay sharp,
lifetime guarantee.

Yeah. Some lifetime shorter
than other because of a knife.

You need to tell the police.

And let them know
that I find in garbage?

Like your umma is a cheap
immigrant garbage picker?

That's what you worry about?

Your fingerprint, my fingerprint

All over murder garbage knife!

I didn't know it was
murder garbage knife!

You found it in the garbage!

I don't see you complain
about suede skirt.

Wha...

You found my skirt
in the garbage?

- That's so gross!
- Oh, yeah?

Would you skirt
stab into man

And cut apple into snack?

Sorry,
emergency family meeting.

This is important.

Yeah. Okay. Stay calm.

I am calm.

But I won't be
if I don't get a cigarette.

We can help you
with that, hm?

Oh, and I found this knife
over by the snack bowls.

Is it yours?

Uh...

Yeah, it's the best knife.

Feel balance.

Got good grip.

Touch all over with finger.

- Appa!
- Shh.

The doc was pretty depressing.

Eh, maybe a little.

You cried twice.

Once while we were
in line for popcorn.

I'm Korean,
my people feel things.

Really made me want me
to see Cambodia, though.

Odd take-away from a movie
about homeless children, but okay.

The whole thing sounds great.
I really want to check it out.

Sorry, did anyone want
some green rooibos?

No, thanks, but smells good.

Not really, but it is amazing
for mental cleansing.

Thank you, green rooibos.

Anyway...
..A super powerful movie.

Oh, especially
the last sequence.

Oh, with "hallelujah"
playing underneath.

- I love that song.
- Hey, my friend wrote it.

Uh, Leonard Cohen
is your friend?

No, Shyleigh MacDonald.

She's a great singer
and a triathlete.

- Cool
- Yeah.

But this is definitely Leonard
Cohen singing "Hallelujah".

Which he wrote.

I think Nathan's saying
Shyleigh did a cover. Right?

Sure. She put this song
out in the universe,

And it obviously
made its way into the film.

That's so cool,

And so Shyleigh.

Coming!

What's up, nerd?
Just going for a run.

Emergency pit stop.

Okay, that's...
That's what I'm here for.

This is my brother.
I think you've met everyone.

Doubt it. This guy I know.
What's going on?

Oh, talking documentaries.

Ugh. It's like someone
made the news into a movie.

- That's not true.
- I saw one about healing stones.

Aquamarine is amazing
for joint pain.

Does it work on sore quads?

No. Take Cider Vinegar.

Works great,
especially with Advil.

This guy, better than webMD.

Okay, Janet.
Got to go take a dump.

Say bye
to your nerd friends for me.

You know they can
hear you, right?

I'll send you a link to the doc.

They have great recipes.

- What were we talking about before?
- Nothing.

Yo.

What's that smell?

- Vinegar.
- On French fries?

On my legs. Nathan's idea.

- Okay.
- Hey. How was your work dinner?

Did they tell the waiter it was your
coming out party? Classic deanne.

I skipped dinner.

Those meetings today were rough.

Yeah, they can be brutal.

Was Pete there?
Did he give you the haymaker?

I don't know what that is,
but I probably got it.

Those guys are the best.

Funny. I was thinking they're
terrible and I don't like them.

And then there's Shannon...

Ah, the shannonball.
She goes for the jugular.

Are you kidding?
She blindsided me.

You just got to seize
your moment and pounce.

Once they see
that you fight back,

they don't want to
constantly come at you.

I'm not used to being
mean to people I don't know

Or have nothing against.

And I'm not used to having vinegar
on my legs, but look at the results.

Is it on the couch?

Oh, it's everywhere.

Hey, who's stinky hoodie
is this?

It's jung's.

He borrowed one of your shirts
to wear home. Just toss it.

Oh, how was that a fair trade?

I'm down two sleeves.

- Where's Nathan?
- He went home.

I needed some alone time.

Say no more.

Do you think Nathan's my type?

I don't know.

I mean you've dated a cop,
an engaged doctor,

And a yoga instructor
who believes in reincarnation.

Do you have a type?

But we're a good match, right?

Yeah, right. I mean,
he's cool, er, nice

And it's not a huge deal if
you don't have similar interests

Or maybe have slightly
different takes on what reality is.

He once told me
he was a black woman in a former life.

He should
maybe not say that.

Oh, my God. We are
totally different people.

Well, that's not necessarily
a bad thing.

I mean, like, Chelsea and I
have nothing in common,

But look at our relationship.

Yeah.

All right, we should probably get
started so Charles can get a nap.

Hey, I'm not the one
wearing yesterday's clothes, deanne.

Did you sleep in your car again?

Yeah, I bet, uh, I bet
some new clothes

Will feel like a breath
of fresh air for deanne

Which she would like,
because her asthma...

You look like a public toilet.

Okay. Yep, succinct.

You lightweights all left early.
I had to go clubbing solo.

We left because Randy got
too deep into the daiquiri.

Drunk on daiquiris.
I said it, too.

Yeah, we missed you
at dinner last night, Kimchee.

Yeah, once we noticed
you weren't there.

Oh, yeah Pete...

Maybe you should focus on noticing
when your kid's birthday is, Pete.

- That's funny because...
- Yeah, Pete.

You missed
your daughter's birthday,

You missed her birth,
and I hear

You missed
her conception too.

Ooh.

And you're scared of horses.

So?

Don't expect too much,
he's like a mascot.

His failures cheer us up.

I'm the mascot?

I'm not the one
who speaks in puns.

I need a dad joke dictionary
just to talk to you.

Oh, good one.

Oh, what's
all the hand gestures?

Are we having a meeting
or milking a cow?

Not as good.

And you can save your
dance moves for your cats.

And save your stories
about your cats

For the only people in your life who care,
your cats!

Shannon's a cat lady?

Oh, she has pictures
all over her office.

Or should I say 'den'?

Cougar and her cubs,
am I right?

Gunnin' for Shannon, I love it.

You suck, Shannon.

Guess you didn't have this
neutered like you did last guy, huh?

She didn't have him neutered,

She had him ca-neutered,

Like canoodle.

I'll keep working on it.

Point is, they're doing it.

You're burned, Shannon.
You're burned.

There, exhibit a, for stabbing.

Where did you find this?

Outside.

Could you be more specific?

In dumpster. Mr. Kim find.

Found in dumpster.

Any particular reason
you were in the dumpster?

Just to look, people do.

Totally normal.

Yeah, my husband find lot
of valuable things in dumpster.

Cuff-links, suede skirt.

Oh, maybe not so crazy
looking in the garbage.

So were the cuff-links
and the skirt with the knife?

No. All different time.

And just to clarify,
when did you find the knife?

- Today.
- Yesterday.

One moment, please.

Some time
between yesterday and today.

And did you find it like this?

- Yes.
- No.

Just a second, please.

We do not know at this time.

Yeah, it's just probably
lots of people touch.

So maybe someone clean
murder garbage knife.

No one was murdered.

- Not yet.
- Pardon?

We done talking now. You talk.

Okay. Hope
the exhibit a help you narrow list.

But could be hard because
no fingerprint on the knife.

Probably. You tell us.

We're not police, you police.

Good job. Okay, see you.

Thank you. We'll be in touch.

You tell to me you buy
my cuff-links at the Hudson bay.

Hey, Nathan, it's me.

I'm here, uh, just wondering

If you got my text
and if you're coming,

So we can talk.

Should be fun in this
live bar you chose.

See you soon,

I hope.

So, it's soda,
grape juice and grenadine in a glass.

I call it 'forever jung.'

And seriously, do none of your
cocktails have a calorie count?

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Is Nathan here yet?
- Why are you here?

I called him to say that the
vinegar worked on the quads.

I couldn't find any cider,
so used balsamic...

Anyway, he invited me out.

- Without telling me.
- I guess.

His friend Shyleigh is playing
some of her songs.

Check. Check, one, one, check.

One, one.

So, it might get awkward
with there being the three of us.

Oh, shall I call Shannon?
Double date.

No, I'm saying I need
to talk with Nathan. Alone.

Oh, well, I'd said
I'd meet him here.

Is everything okay?

I'm your brother.
I can tell when you're upset.

Unless you're confused.
Those two are pretty close.

I'm breaking up with him.

What? No. What, no...

But he's a total catch.

He's super chill,

And you're, like, an art nerd

That takes pictures
of lost and found boxes.

I... He's plenty chill.

I just don't think
it's working out with us.

I think you're making
a mistake. Don't end it.

Do you need an 'angel shot'?

I'll take one.

No. It's okay. He's my brother.

Fine. I'll go, but I'm
still gonna keep seeing Nathan.

He's a good dude, and ripped.

Good luck finding another
good, ripped dude.

We're few and far between.

- Eww.
- Yeah, I said it. Regretted it.

- Sorry I'm late.
- Oh. No, perfect timing.

Nice. She hasn't started yet.

I just wanted to say that it's
been such an unexpected pleasure

- To connect with you.
- You too.

It's rare to meet somebody on
the same frequency. Literally.

Right there are
worse frequencies.

And you're so genuine,
and original, and gorgeous.

Uh-huh.

And your companionship is so...

Nice. And I love the free yoga.

This is a song
I wrote about

A tree that I've loved
my whole life.

♪ You bring the wine
I'll bring the cheese ♪

♪ we can drink the water
straight from the creek ♪

I told you she was good.

Such a sagittarius.

Don't worry, we didn't date.

Could you imagine,
with a pisces?

We should talk.

- Can I come in?
- Sure, Arnold.

Wow, stooping
to my legal name. Cold.

You'd prefer your dumb nickname
from a stupid dance boss.

Hey! I was trying to fit in
like you said.

You know, it's all good fun
and friendly fire.

That fire was not friendly.

Great, another cat insult
from Randy.

You really cut me open, kimchee.

You called me a useless mascot.

Yeah, and that made you
the target, not me.

Why does anyone have
to be the target?

I don't know. The first one
of these I went to,

I smiled once,
and they called me

'smiley Cyrus'
for, like, two years.

Okay. Sorry.

I was the youngest manager
and the only woman.

I had to get vicious
to get respect,

And now I'm the crazy cat lady.

Great. Me and a cat
photoshopped onto a poster of the notebook.

So what?

You having cats is one of the
things that makes you who you are.

A person I like and respect.

I like you, too. It's just with these guys,
there's a whole history.

Anyway, I'm sorry for
throwing you under the bus.

Me too.

Next year, you and me,

We do some digging,
get some dirt

And hit these guys hard.

Yeah, there isn't gonna
be a next year.

I figured. Deanne definitely put
her hand on my thigh a few times.

- You home?
- I am.

Nice hoodie.

Yes, it's... It's...
You know...

How was drinks with Nathan?

We broke up.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

Different auras, you know.

Yes.

Who said you could zip that up?

Can you believe
he wanted to wash it?

Janet and Nathan just broke up.

Ooh.

Sorry, but I kinda
saw that coming.

Was he nice about it?

I ended it.

Right, you dropped him.

I did drop him.

It must be exhausting

Dating someone so out
of your league, right, bum-bum?

See, I don't like it
when you do this.

Why? You got me somehow.

Enjoy it.
Let's go watch the movie.

Hoodie on.

- Are you okay?
- Yeah.

'Cause we could talk about it.

I'm actually good, thanks.

- Please can we talk about it?
- Gerald?

I'm talking to Janet,
she's really upset.

- He's taking the hoodie off!
- Gerald!

Why would you do that?

Wow!

Hi, Janet. Here.

You try jalapeño chip?

These are so spicy.

It's pronounced "halapeno."

Ah, okay, hanet.

Oh, hi, officer.

Here, you try jalapeño chip?

No, thanks. And isn't it...

Don't bother.

Any luck catch the stabber?

Yeah, actually we did get him.

Oh, you welcome.

- Sorry?
- We give you murder garbage knife.

You should write that down,
help you remember.

Well, I'm pretty sure the guy had
the knife on him when they caught him.

- Oh.
- Oh, so not the knife we find?

I guess not. The important
thing is we got him.

Yeah, yeah. Good job.

So, uh, where is our knife?

Oh, my God, umma.

Oh, my God, Janet.

It was miyazaki knife.

It cut through meat,
gristle and bone.

Never go dull.

Bone after bone after bone, oh.

How often are you
cutting through bone?

My parents aren't
as psychotic as they sound.

So, is knife at police station?

Umma, I will buy you
a new knife.

Aye, no need, Janet.

Just ask your supervisor.

Tell her knife belong
to community leader.

She know which one.

You can just have
the root beer.

- Uh, for small discount.
- Just take it.

- Yeah.
- No.

Sync corrections by srjanapala