Kim's Convenience (2016–…): Season 3, Episode 1 - New Appa-liance - full transcript

- They were like Badger claws.
- No.

So, I said don't clip
them in the bathtub.

But, he insists they
just go down the drain.

So, I am in the shower the
next day and his nail

clippings are cutting my
feet like shards of glass.

Oh. Excuse me. Forget something.

When Mr. Kim clip his
nails go everywhere

like a shotgun.

You can hear them hit the window.

Excuse me but why does Mr. Kim
keep going to the back?

Oh, he thinks it's rude
to, you know umm...



- Bang-gwi.
- Bang-gwi?

- Fart.
- Oh, I see.

Well, he has made quite a few trips.

Yeah, he have a big lunch.

They say chewing your food helps
but I never notice the difference.

- Ta.
- Bye.

- Hi, Janet.
- Hi, Mrs. Mehta

Hi, Umma.

Appa, I can't work tomorrow.

Janet, have to stick to schedule.

I'm sorry something came up at school.

Okay, get my nice cold drink
from back and I work for you.

Deal. You're the best. Thank you.

She want the day off.



Have to pay price.

- 3, 2...
- Oh. Oh my God Appa your disgusting.

Thank you, Janet.

Enjoy your day off.

You must be hungry.

Oh, you... you are too good to me.

- Mug is dirty.
- No, I just take from dishwasher.

Why is there egg on the fork?

Everything fresh from dishwasher.

Enjoy your snack.

I see. Snack sneak attack.

Ok. I look into fixing
dishwasher next week.

You already fix it,
that's why it's broken.

We can't afford a new one.

We can afford this one.

But ah... we already have a most
beautiful dishwasher right here.

Okay. We start looking
for new dishwasher.

Machine, not wife.

Okay, I'll start looking
for new la-Z-Boy.

Husband, not chair.

Hey, you're not going to
have time for breakfast.

I ate my cereal in the shower.

It's all about the multi-task.

So, your telling me the
bowl is still in there?

Yeah, but it's clean, multi-task.

You might want to multi-task
your fly there, champ.

- Great, now I'm gonna be late.
- Oh...

Terence is pretty relaxed about that.

Nah, it's just the merge.

Now it's all like, "Do
your job, show up on time.

Quit challenging Terence
to rap battles."

It's a pretty tight ship.

Mmm, it's the exact same
at my new job.

The phones keep ringing, I
gotta answer and it's like...

"Hello," and they're like,
"I need to rent a car."

And I'm like,
"I can help you with that."

And they're like, "Thanks."

Totally!

Hey, if it ever lets up,
you should come by...

See the old gang. We could grab lunch.

- Love to.
- You ready?

Um...

You go ahead,
I spilled coffee on my tie.

Hey, have fun at the competition.

Ah!

Watch your back, pal.

...Preview of the...

Forgot my podcast, Murdertown.

It's kinda creepy
but the music's really cool.

You ready now?

Yeah, yeah. Let's both go to our jobs.

Okay!

Wassup, nerd? Still in your PJs?

Your fake job doesn't
usually start until noon.

It was a close call with
Kimch, so I had to leave.

I'm sure if you just told him...

It will just make him feel
bad for having my old job.

Who put this dirty plate on my desk?

The same person who's about to
pour coffee on your computer.

I'm just trying to create
a healthy work space.

Maybe start by creating some work.

All the jobs out there are dust.

- I got my GED and everything.
- And that's great,

not what I'd lead with but...

I just want a legit position.

Good company, my own office,
likeable co-workers.

Just call your own job.
Just talk to Shannon.

It's complicated.

What'd you do?

Did you sleep together?

Did Alejandro catch you?

- Was there a fight?
- No!

But we kissed.

Ugh, yawn!

It was major chemistry.

And things got weird.

Well, this is weirder,
so make it happen.

I just think it would be
a step backwards.

From this?

Okay... break time!

Where's your TV?

Wow! That's a good price
for a dishwasher.

- You should call them.
- No.

- I make that.
- Hmm?

I take that to this price match store

and they have to give
to me for this price.

- Look real, huh?
- Highly credible.

Though your customer quote,

"Would shop again at this
actual, real, not fake store"

- tips it slightly.
- Hmm.

- You ordered a dishwasher?
- No!

Yes! Come straight through. Upstairs.

Ah, Mrs. Kim!

Oh, Mr. Mehta, I'm very
contagious right now.

I'm coming down with something too.

If something's going
around, why fight it?

What you doing?

Buying new dishwasher. What you doing?

Also buying new dishwasher.

Mine is clearance price, don't worry.

Clearance price is a gimmick.

Like our "all you can eat" buffet.

Everyone thinks it's a bargain

but we actually put
less meat in the curry.

I love watching people fish endlessly
for that elusive morsel of chicken.

I just need someone to sign.

Yeah, I sign. Thank you.

They literally spend ten minutes

fishing, dipping... I want to
scream, "It's just not there."

Umma, I have a whole plan.

Have you seen his flyer?

Parts of it are very convincing.

But I just buy this one and it's here.

But I can get one for cheaper, huh?

Save $200.

Hmm, buy you nice dress, fancy shoes

or just save $200!

Fine, but I want new, working
dishwasher this week, promise?

I promise.

Like the promise of a
meat-filled curry for $3.99.

It's just not possible.

Branding is everything.

Let's take a look at Dree's website.

Boldly original,

a true reflection of the artist.

I bet she paid someone
a lot of money to make that

It's, uh, already paid for
from the work I've gotten.

So great.

Let's take a look at another website.

- Oh, you can look at mine.
- Great.

Janet Kim, photography.

Oh, Janet, this is beautiful.

That's not mine.

Well, kudos to this Janet Kim.

Just go back to the searches,
it should be the next one.

Janet Kim Cam, that's cute.

- Also not me.
- It's a common name.

There it is, photography by Janet Kim.

Nope, can you try the next page.

This is a good lesson
in accessibility.

If I had any interest in Janet's work,

I would have lost it by now.

- Wow, what a beaut!
- Yeah.

And for $200 less than this one.

So you swindle
an honest appliance store.

No, I trick them into price match.

Their policy, their problem.

Hi, Frank, what's happening?

- Fraud mostly.
- No.

I get the same dishwasher
for so much less.

- Price match.
- Good.

So, now, Frank stole my cheap one

and I return the overpriced one.

Okay.

Uh, I think you mean, "Thank
you, my handsome husband.

You're just so very smart

and save us so much money."

I thank you when the
dishwasher is working.

- It's going to be working soon.
- Then I thank you soon.

- And the kitchen is...
- Upstairs.

Oh, dear. I charge $8 a stair,

unless it's a 10-inch stair,
then that's $8.50.

And if there's a ladder,
it's 10 bucks a round.

No ladder.

Still, gonna need my back girdle.

And, uh, somewhere to change.

Can I help you?

No, I'm just here to see Kimchee.

I used to work here.

Well, not here but the old location.

Okay.

Dude! You made it! Let me get
my jacket and we can jet.

Yeah, totally.

...I thought I lost my mind.

Long story short, Omar,

I and the woman whose phone you found

both think you are "Omar-zing."

Well, happy to help.

I came up with "Omar-zing" by the way.

Yeah, I figured.

- Hey.
- Hey!

Hope you're not here to spy on us.

"Alert, hide your secrets.
Competitor in the building."

I'm just here to grab some lunch.

Oh, I don't know
if that's a great idea...

- With Kimchee.
- Oh, right. Good.

So, how are things with, uh...

- Alejandro? Good, yeah.
- I was talking about your cats.

Oh, they're great.

Crazy as always, and don't let
them near the tuna water.

Cool.

Grand.

Oh, here's something.

There's this guy
at Comfy Car Rental, Dave.

Nice guy, but he's
looking for a change.

- Okay.
- Yeah, he's, uh...

He's smart, pretty good-looking,
takes care of himself,

but he just doesn't
really fit in over there.

Oh, like a Terence.

No! I mean... no.

Um, anyway, he's made some mistakes

but he's looking to start fresh,

if that's something you're open to?

Well, we're kind of fully staffed
right now since the merge, but...

forward me his resume and I
will definitely think about it.

Great, I love that.

That for Dave.

Oh, look good.

Maybe one day could be you.

Then that day is today.

What you talking?

This website is belong
to Kim Eiu Kyung.

Yeah, me.

You are Kim "Janet."

That's my English name.

This is my new unique Korean name.

It means justice treasure.

- Who gave to you this name?
- I did.

I needed to stand out

'cause my parents gave me
a super boring English name.

Don't blame me.
I wanted to call you Hae Sun,

but big fight with Umma.

She wanted to call you "Su-Young."

So much yelling, couldn't agree.

So you settled on Janet?

Just to be safe for we not give
you a name people make fun of.

"Dumb dumb Jung," Ping Pong Jung

Donkey Kong Jung."

We tease him so much.

Well, now I'm Eiu Kyung,
so, tease away.

- Eiu Kyung.
- Yeah, Eiu Kyung.

- Eiu.
- Eiu.

Eiu! Sound like you're Jewish.

Or creative.

Anyway, my professional name
is now, Eiu Kyung.

Eiu Kyung?

Yeah! Her! Me! Us!

Yeah, okay, I go to return dishwasher.

But you just bought it.

Don't ask so many questions.

- How was that a question?
- See? Like that.

- Oi!
- Yeah?

_ _

Hey!

Hi-ya! Is this a good time?

It's Shannon, by the way.

Yeah, hey, what's up?

Well, I've been
thinking about... Dave.

- Really?
- Yeah, and we are swamp city over here,

and you're right. People
deserve a second chance.

Absolutely.

So, theoretically, when do
you think Dave can start?

Right away.

Great! Then why don't you tell
him to come on in for a meeting,

and we'll see what we can do.

- Sure thing.
- Ah, but he should know

we're going to give him
a bit of a ribbing

for working for the competition.

Yeah, I get that,
he probably deserves it.

Thank, Shannon. Bye.

Yes!

Next!

Hi. My name is Mr. Kim.

I come from South Korea
to Canada a long time ago.

My wife and me,
we just struggle everyday...

- You wanna return this?
- Yeah.

Okay.

Can you just open that for me, please.

Oh, serial number is not coming up.

Are you sure you bought it here?

Yeah, my wife buy from here.

Well, according to our records,

we never stocked this unit.

So, I'm afraid we can't take it back.

What?

This dishwasher was not
bought at this store.

Sorry. Next!

Hey, Stacie.

Can you call the Parkdale branch

and have them send over as many
mid-sized sedans as they can spare.

- Do you want me to do that right now?
- Yes, now.

We are giving away full sized
sedans at mid-size prices.

It is a bloodbath.

Hey Shannon.

New guy's here.
Ready to crack some skulls.

Great, where's Dave?

Where is he, indeed.

Reporting for duty, Captain.

What?

- I'm Dave.
- How are you Dave?

- We were talking in code.
- What code?

The one where Dave meant me.
I thought you got that.

I did not get that.

Oh!

Can I talk to you
in my office, please?

- Should I come? Can I come?
- No! Call the other branch.

Here you go, clean snack.

- No egg on fork.
- Oh, yeah.

See? Everything work out.

Frank even give us a discount
on the last four steps

because he tripped.

Oh, where you going?

Just a couple of things to do.

Also, sneak attack Janet.

Maybe today is the day I catch
her doing something very bad.

Okay, have fun.

And take your time.

It's kinda funny.

It's not funny. They never
hired you so you've been...

Working from home. Well, not
my home, my sister's home.

Keepin' the muscles loose.

There's no TV, so you
can get a lot done.

I thought you didn't want to work
here because there was no room

for the... advancement
you were looking for,

- which hasn't changed.
- I know.

And I'm not looking
for advancement now.

I'm looking for work.

Okay.

I see how maybe I gave you the idea that
there could be some... advancement,

and maybe I liked that you showed
interest in filling that position.

So, if by position you mean...

Oh, I don't. No more kissing the boss.

Right. Right.

And if you can live with that,

then maybe there is a
position that would be good

for the both of us.
Uh... job position.

Thank you. That would be "Ama-zing."

- That's weird.
- Hope it's not a better offer.

It's my dad.

Should you be eating those?

It's just so good.

- Ciao, Dree.
- Bye.

Oh, and this is Gerald Tremblay.

And... Janet, I think
you're at the wrong booth.

No, just a bit of re-branding.

I'm Eiu Kyung. It's my Korean name.

- It means buried treasure.
- Justice treasure.

You can see the full
collection on my website.

Very cool, Eiu Kyung.

Yeah, this looks great, Eiu.

It's pronounced Eiu with an "o."

It's spelt like this.

Oh!

But it's pronounced Eiu.

No, I mean, "Oh, the card is
different from the poster."

And they're both different
than the website.

The website is the right one.

Such a unique name!

And... so hard to remember.

- Are those cookies?
- Yes, but they're mine.

- Appa.
- Huh?

- Jung.
- I, uh, got your text.

- Obviously.
- Good.

I have a job for you.

Look, I don't know what Janet told you

but it was just a little blip, okay?

I got my job back. Things are good.

- You lose your job?
- No!

Working at Handy... still.

- Why did you text me?
- Have a surprise for Umma.

Am I coming with you?

Hi, Janet.

Umma, what are you doing here?

What is this white powder?

It's sweetener from Bulk Boutique.

Oh. Have a nice day.

Can you please call
before you come over?

- No.
- Eiu Kyung.

- Her work is not very good.
- They're mine.

Then why is it Eiu Kyung?

Because there's a million
"Janet Kims" out there.

My name sucks.

What are you talking?
Janet is a beautiful name.

I choose.

Well, I wish you chose
something more interesting.

Janet... we choose
your name for special reason.

When we first starting store,

there was old lady, regular customer.

She help me with English, babysit
Jung and always bring banana bread.

Maybe too much.

And I always think,

"Oh, she is an angel
God sent to us, to help."

And that's why we name you Janet.

So, was her name Janet?

- Yeah. I didn't say that?
- No.

Oh, her name, it was Janet

and that's why we name you Janet.

That's kinda sweet.

- Thanks, Umma.
- Aw.

Yeah, she was very kind lady,

and her kind spirit live in you.

- She died?
- Yeah. I didn't say that?

- No.
- Aw, yeah.

Still, very nice story.

All right, all right, all right.

Watch finger. Watch finger.
Watch finger!

Ah!

Okay. Good. Good.

Okay, so now we just...

Wait, is that the same dishwasher?

Okay, what happened is

Umma buy that one. Hmm.

But I make a fake ad
for doing price match.

And it work. Can you believe?

But then Frank, he made a big mix-up.

And I take wrong one to right store.

They check serial number on the
door but it's not from that store.

So, now we take this dishwasher out,

put this one in,

take the right one back to store.

They scan, full refund. Genius.

Okay.

Or we could just switch
the dishwasher doors.

Then you still get a full refund.

Mmm, yeah.

That's a good idea, too.

All right, let's get to work.

_ _

- What you doing?
- Oh!

You back already.

Why is there two dishwasher

and their both doors broken off?

That would be my idea. Found it.

- Jung?
- Yeah.

He is helping me.

Yeah, Appa wanted to surprise you

by installing the cheaper dishwasher.

And Jung come over and help move.

Yeah, Appa did most of the lifting.

But then Jung come up
with the best idea.

Switch the doors so you can
return the more expensive one.

That's where the barcode is.

But before we know,

so many wires all over and, uh...

who would've thought the door was
the brains of the operation.

So, both dishwasher is broken now?

But we are working together,

father and the son.

Mmm.

Are those happy tears or sad tears?

I don't know.

I want our family together...

but I also want a working dishwasher.

But if you have to choose...

Oh! Oh!