Kiff (2023–…): Season 1, Episode 10 - Hat/Lost and Found - full transcript
Kiff loses a hat that gave Barry a confidence boost, and attempts to recover it; Kiff and Barry try to return a lost journal without exposing its deeply personal entries.
♪ Kiff ♪
♪ Kiff, Kiff ♪
♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪
♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪
♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪
♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪
♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff
Kiff, Kiff ♪
♪ Kiff ♪
(giggles)
(both laugh)
(announcer) Brought to you
by Rat's Hats and Mats.
We got hats, we got mats.
Them's the facts.
♪ Today is Bring a Thing ♪
♪ You just find a thing
And then you bring it ♪
♪ Any old thing
You can wing it ♪
♪ But, of course
Whoever brings the best thing ♪
♪ Gets showered
With love and adulation ♪
♪ And ultimate
Forever popularity ♪
♪ As you get crowned
The Bring a Thing king ♪
So I think what I'm looking for
in Bring a Thing
is something I'll remember
on my deathbed.
- Preach!
- Hate a boring Bring a Thing.
Unfortunately, there is
a certain bunny in this class
who has the tendency
to really dull things down.
Remember that time
he brought the color beige?
Barry Buns? What?
(laughs)
You guys don't know Barry
like I do.
Barry's the best.
(hinges creak)
(face squelches on glass)
Okay, everyone.
Let's take our seats.
Kiff, I got something
really cool!
Really?
Mm...
- Uh...
- (whimpers)
- Uh...
- (whimpering)
Ta-da!
Ah. Is it under hat?
It is hat.
I...
Okay, guys,
let's get this party started.
Uh, Barry Buns,
what color did you bring today?
Here we go.
I can't look.
♪ Confidence ♪
- (all cheer)
- All right! Yes!
Huh?
(camera shutters clicking)
- Whoa.
- (gasps)
I am gonna think of this
on my deathbed.
The hat!
Ho-ho! Well, I guess this
squirrel was right about--
(all cheering)
Wow, Barry, there's really
something different about you.
(giggles)
(whimpers)
It's the hat.
Barry, you win.
You're gonna be
Bring a Thing king, baby,
and we shall have a crowning
in front of the whole school
at the end of the day, yay!
(gasps)
Oh, no!
Barry, those grabby paws
are after hat.
Hat is going to get hurt.
But, shh, don't panic, Barry.
Barry, don't panic.
Listen to me, listen to me.
Look at me. Shh.
Give it to me.
Give it to me.
I will keep hat safe.
Thanks, Kiff.
Kiff Chatterley,
protector of hat.
You're in safe hands.
(wind gusts)
No!
Oh! I'm so sorry!
Wind section.
- (breeze gusts)
- (gasps)
♪ Confidence ♪
Ah. I'm beautiful.
Hey. I need that hat.
Ew, a student.
Finders keepers.
Get away.
(grunting)
Listen, you don't want that hat.
It's got bedbugs.
I mean, head bugs.
It's a garbage hat.
Gross.
Well, if it's a garbage hat...
(gasps)
What is wrong with you?
Keep hat safe. Keep hat safe.
Keep hat safe...
Hmm?
(gasps)
A like.
Hmm.
(wind gusts)
Yes!
No!
Welcome to Rat's Hats and Mats.
What'll it be,
hat or mat?
Hat. That hat. That hat, stat.
Hmm, that's a floor model.
It'll only set you back
25 nuts.
No. That's Barry's hat, and--
And it'll be your hat
once I get my nuts.
You got a weird energy.
Now get out of here.
(sighs)
Where am I gonna get 25 nuts?
Oh, you're a smug rat.
Yeah, look at you,
with your little beady eyes.
Huh? Chops. Karate chops!
(grunting)
Interesting performance art.
Have a couple nuts.
(gasps)
Nuts!
(strumming jazzy beat)
Et tu, rat? Et tu?
(groans and coughs)
- (all cheer)
- Brava. Brava.
Look at her busking over there.
(woman)
Jolly good job.
(laughs)
I think you'll find
I've, uh, got your nuts.
Hat, please.
I just sold that hat
to some old goat.
What? Which goat?
I don't know.
He had a beard.
On the mayoral council.
Ugh!
Uh, excuse me.
Uh, you may be interested
in coming to the Bring a Thing
king crowning
at the end of the day?
Pew-pew.
♪ Confidence ♪
Uh, that hat's
gonna be there, right?
- Of course.
- Cool, bro.
See you there.
It's really happening!
(bleating)
(grunting)
Mayoral council.
All the way up here.
(grunting)
Yes. Business.
Mayoral business.
Investments.
Hmm, got to blend in.
(gasps and screams)
Blending.
Blending in with business.
Hey, you, New Beard.
Come see Rockwell's
new hat.
♪ Confidence ♪
(gasps)
Whoa, check you out.
Mind if I take a closer look
at that hat?
With a beard that business,
of course.
(laughs)
(gasps)
- Falsehoods.
- (all) Falsehoods!
I'm sorry
for what's about to happen.
- What's about to happen?
- Squirrel attack!
A bottle of beard oil
for whoever retrieves my hat!
- (snarling)
- Jeez.
- Bye!
- (grunting)
Whee!
Yahoo!
(laughing)
I have hat. I have hat!
Oh, don't worry, my sweet Bar.
Hat is safe.
Oh!
What was that?
I don't know.
I've failed my Barry.
Darkness descends.
Ooh! Ah!
Hat!
- (camera shutters clicking)
- Oh, yes. Very nice.
That's not your hat!
Kiff! You tricked me.
You said this was a garbage hat,
but it's more valuable
than gold and jewels!
But it's Barry's hat.
Look at all the likes.
Twelve now.
(laughing)
Squirrel attack!
Hey, look, another like!
- Where?
- Yoink.
(yelling)
(indistinct murmuring)
Aw, where's Kiff?
Barry Buns,
this is your two-minute call.
Kiff, where are you?
(yelling)
(wind gusting)
Wind section!
(cackling)
(growling)
- Whee!
- (both giggling)
Please welcome, welcome, welcome
Barry and hat!
This isn't happening.
- Barry!
- Kiff!
I'm coming!
Ha-ha. Gotcha.
Barry! Incoming!
(grunts)
(whirring)
Oh, look, you ruined it.
Barry.
I will be your hat.
Welcome home, hat.
♪ Confidence ♪
(all cheer)
It's not the hat.
It's Barry.
- (girl) God, look at him!
- (camera shutters clicking)
The hat was within us
all along.
Kiff! I didn't think
you were gonna make it.
You had me worried there
for a minute.
Huh?
You're not wearing hat, Barry.
It was all you.
You mean...?
♪ It was all you ♪
It was all me?
♪ It was all you entirely ♪
They were cheering for me.
♪ They were cheering for you ♪
♪ They were loving ♪
♪ Everything that you do ♪
BARRY:
They really like me?
♪ I was totally right ♪
♪ That you were a totally ♪
♪ Awesome ♪
♪ Guy ♪
I'm really sorry I shredded hat
into a million pieces, Barry.
Oh, that's okay.
- You're not mad?
- No.
♪ Because they really like me ♪
KIFF:
♪ You were something to see ♪
♪ You were through
the roof with likability ♪
BOTH:
♪ Infinity, eternity ♪
KIFF:
♪ They really like you ♪
BARRY:
♪ Yeah, they really like me ♪
♪ They really like you ♪
- ♪ Me ♪
- ♪ Us ♪
- ♪ We ♪
- ♪ You ♪
- ♪ Me ♪
- ♪ You ♪
- ♪ Me, me, me, me, me, me ♪
- ♪ You ♪
- ♪ You ♪
- ♪ Me, me, me, me, me, me ♪
- ♪ You ♪
- ♪ Me, me, me ♪
♪ Me, myself me ♪
MISS DEER TEACHER:
Uh, Barry?
Your crown and scepter.
No thank you,
Miss Deer Teacher.
For I need no crown.
- ♪ Me, me, me ♪
- ♪ You ♪
♪ Kiff, Kiff ♪
♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪
♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪
♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪
♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪
♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff
Kiff, Kiff ♪
♪ Kiff ♪
(giggles)
(both laugh)
(announcer) Brought to you
by Rat's Hats and Mats.
We got hats, we got mats.
Them's the facts.
♪ Today is Bring a Thing ♪
♪ You just find a thing
And then you bring it ♪
♪ Any old thing
You can wing it ♪
♪ But, of course
Whoever brings the best thing ♪
♪ Gets showered
With love and adulation ♪
♪ And ultimate
Forever popularity ♪
♪ As you get crowned
The Bring a Thing king ♪
So I think what I'm looking for
in Bring a Thing
is something I'll remember
on my deathbed.
- Preach!
- Hate a boring Bring a Thing.
Unfortunately, there is
a certain bunny in this class
who has the tendency
to really dull things down.
Remember that time
he brought the color beige?
Barry Buns? What?
(laughs)
You guys don't know Barry
like I do.
Barry's the best.
(hinges creak)
(face squelches on glass)
Okay, everyone.
Let's take our seats.
Kiff, I got something
really cool!
Really?
Mm...
- Uh...
- (whimpers)
- Uh...
- (whimpering)
Ta-da!
Ah. Is it under hat?
It is hat.
I...
Okay, guys,
let's get this party started.
Uh, Barry Buns,
what color did you bring today?
Here we go.
I can't look.
♪ Confidence ♪
- (all cheer)
- All right! Yes!
Huh?
(camera shutters clicking)
- Whoa.
- (gasps)
I am gonna think of this
on my deathbed.
The hat!
Ho-ho! Well, I guess this
squirrel was right about--
(all cheering)
Wow, Barry, there's really
something different about you.
(giggles)
(whimpers)
It's the hat.
Barry, you win.
You're gonna be
Bring a Thing king, baby,
and we shall have a crowning
in front of the whole school
at the end of the day, yay!
(gasps)
Oh, no!
Barry, those grabby paws
are after hat.
Hat is going to get hurt.
But, shh, don't panic, Barry.
Barry, don't panic.
Listen to me, listen to me.
Look at me. Shh.
Give it to me.
Give it to me.
I will keep hat safe.
Thanks, Kiff.
Kiff Chatterley,
protector of hat.
You're in safe hands.
(wind gusts)
No!
Oh! I'm so sorry!
Wind section.
- (breeze gusts)
- (gasps)
♪ Confidence ♪
Ah. I'm beautiful.
Hey. I need that hat.
Ew, a student.
Finders keepers.
Get away.
(grunting)
Listen, you don't want that hat.
It's got bedbugs.
I mean, head bugs.
It's a garbage hat.
Gross.
Well, if it's a garbage hat...
(gasps)
What is wrong with you?
Keep hat safe. Keep hat safe.
Keep hat safe...
Hmm?
(gasps)
A like.
Hmm.
(wind gusts)
Yes!
No!
Welcome to Rat's Hats and Mats.
What'll it be,
hat or mat?
Hat. That hat. That hat, stat.
Hmm, that's a floor model.
It'll only set you back
25 nuts.
No. That's Barry's hat, and--
And it'll be your hat
once I get my nuts.
You got a weird energy.
Now get out of here.
(sighs)
Where am I gonna get 25 nuts?
Oh, you're a smug rat.
Yeah, look at you,
with your little beady eyes.
Huh? Chops. Karate chops!
(grunting)
Interesting performance art.
Have a couple nuts.
(gasps)
Nuts!
(strumming jazzy beat)
Et tu, rat? Et tu?
(groans and coughs)
- (all cheer)
- Brava. Brava.
Look at her busking over there.
(woman)
Jolly good job.
(laughs)
I think you'll find
I've, uh, got your nuts.
Hat, please.
I just sold that hat
to some old goat.
What? Which goat?
I don't know.
He had a beard.
On the mayoral council.
Ugh!
Uh, excuse me.
Uh, you may be interested
in coming to the Bring a Thing
king crowning
at the end of the day?
Pew-pew.
♪ Confidence ♪
Uh, that hat's
gonna be there, right?
- Of course.
- Cool, bro.
See you there.
It's really happening!
(bleating)
(grunting)
Mayoral council.
All the way up here.
(grunting)
Yes. Business.
Mayoral business.
Investments.
Hmm, got to blend in.
(gasps and screams)
Blending.
Blending in with business.
Hey, you, New Beard.
Come see Rockwell's
new hat.
♪ Confidence ♪
(gasps)
Whoa, check you out.
Mind if I take a closer look
at that hat?
With a beard that business,
of course.
(laughs)
(gasps)
- Falsehoods.
- (all) Falsehoods!
I'm sorry
for what's about to happen.
- What's about to happen?
- Squirrel attack!
A bottle of beard oil
for whoever retrieves my hat!
- (snarling)
- Jeez.
- Bye!
- (grunting)
Whee!
Yahoo!
(laughing)
I have hat. I have hat!
Oh, don't worry, my sweet Bar.
Hat is safe.
Oh!
What was that?
I don't know.
I've failed my Barry.
Darkness descends.
Ooh! Ah!
Hat!
- (camera shutters clicking)
- Oh, yes. Very nice.
That's not your hat!
Kiff! You tricked me.
You said this was a garbage hat,
but it's more valuable
than gold and jewels!
But it's Barry's hat.
Look at all the likes.
Twelve now.
(laughing)
Squirrel attack!
Hey, look, another like!
- Where?
- Yoink.
(yelling)
(indistinct murmuring)
Aw, where's Kiff?
Barry Buns,
this is your two-minute call.
Kiff, where are you?
(yelling)
(wind gusting)
Wind section!
(cackling)
(growling)
- Whee!
- (both giggling)
Please welcome, welcome, welcome
Barry and hat!
This isn't happening.
- Barry!
- Kiff!
I'm coming!
Ha-ha. Gotcha.
Barry! Incoming!
(grunts)
(whirring)
Oh, look, you ruined it.
Barry.
I will be your hat.
Welcome home, hat.
♪ Confidence ♪
(all cheer)
It's not the hat.
It's Barry.
- (girl) God, look at him!
- (camera shutters clicking)
The hat was within us
all along.
Kiff! I didn't think
you were gonna make it.
You had me worried there
for a minute.
Huh?
You're not wearing hat, Barry.
It was all you.
You mean...?
♪ It was all you ♪
It was all me?
♪ It was all you entirely ♪
They were cheering for me.
♪ They were cheering for you ♪
♪ They were loving ♪
♪ Everything that you do ♪
BARRY:
They really like me?
♪ I was totally right ♪
♪ That you were a totally ♪
♪ Awesome ♪
♪ Guy ♪
I'm really sorry I shredded hat
into a million pieces, Barry.
Oh, that's okay.
- You're not mad?
- No.
♪ Because they really like me ♪
KIFF:
♪ You were something to see ♪
♪ You were through
the roof with likability ♪
BOTH:
♪ Infinity, eternity ♪
KIFF:
♪ They really like you ♪
BARRY:
♪ Yeah, they really like me ♪
♪ They really like you ♪
- ♪ Me ♪
- ♪ Us ♪
- ♪ We ♪
- ♪ You ♪
- ♪ Me ♪
- ♪ You ♪
- ♪ Me, me, me, me, me, me ♪
- ♪ You ♪
- ♪ You ♪
- ♪ Me, me, me, me, me, me ♪
- ♪ You ♪
- ♪ Me, me, me ♪
♪ Me, myself me ♪
MISS DEER TEACHER:
Uh, Barry?
Your crown and scepter.
No thank you,
Miss Deer Teacher.
For I need no crown.
- ♪ Me, me, me ♪
- ♪ You ♪