Kevin (Probably) Saves the World (2017–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Pilot - full transcript
REESE: People always think
they understand how the world works.
- _
- ??
- But we don't really know anything.
- [SHEEP BLEATING]
- _
- ??
We're always asking if
we're alone in the universe...
if there's something else out there.
??
It's the wrong question.
We don't really need to
know what's out there.
- _
- We want to know why we're even here...
and if what we do really...
Matters.
??
- [CAR DOOR CLOSES]
- Ah!
- [LAUGHS] Hey.
- Hey.
Hi.
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
How are you?
Uh...
[GASPS] You look bad.
Oh. Okay.
- Um...
- Okay.
- Well, come on. Come in.
- [CLEARS THROAT]
AMY: Hey, Reese, say
hi to your Uncle Kevin.
I'm gonna figure out the food situation.
- Hey.
- Hey.
What are you listening to?
You wouldn't know them.
AMY: Have you seen this new math?
I'm an engineering professor,
and I can't even figure
it out. [CHUCKLES]
- Oh.
- Maybe you can.
He wouldn't get it.
Well, Reese, you're
probably right. [LAUGHS]
All right, so we have
meat loaf or chicken.
You know what? I think I am
just going to get settled and...
Hit the sack.
Okay.
Uh... wrong, wrong, and wrong.
Just... Okay. Night.
Hey, um, look,
I know that he hasn't
been in our lives lately,
but he needs us.
Give him a chance.
[MUSIC PLAYS OVER EARBUDS]
[INSECTS CHIRPING IN DISTANCE]
AMY: That's a new mattress.
Oh, you didn't have to do that.
Well, the old one was,
like, 20 years old,
so I think, legally, actually I did.
[CHUCKLING]
And if your girlfriend
wants to come visit,
we have plenty of rooms.
Yeah. No. Um...
That's kind of over.
- [SIGHS]
- Oh.
- Sorry to hear that.
- Oh, it's not a big deal.
How's, um...
Work?
Fine.
It's great.
Um... got tenure, so, full professor.
- [CHUCKLES]
- So, yeah.
Nice.
Awesome.
I missed you.
You know, if you ever want to...
Reese hit maximum teenager, huh?
Oh. Yeah.
Well, she's just trying to be cool
- in front of you.
- Ah.
She's been going through some stuff
since Jon died.
??
Yeah, um...
Sorry I haven't been, you know, around.
It's okay.
We're okay.
Except she won't talk
about him at all...
To me, to anyone.
She doesn't see her friends.
She doesn't really do much of anything.
She's just kind of pulled
out of her life. I'm...
I'm worried about her.
- Sure.
- She used to love playing soccer,
and then she quit the team.
I keep hounding her
to play again, but...
I just... I feel like it would help.
[CHUCKLES]
??
Sorry.
I'm just unloading on you.
No, it's fine.
- [SIGHS]
- It's fine.
??
I'm glad you're here.
??
You can stay as long as you like.
Yeah... probably just a couple
days. [CLEARS THROAT]
??
Okay.
- ??
- [SIGHS]
??
[INSECTS CHIRPING]
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
[RUMBLING IN DISTANCE]
[GLASS RATTLING]
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
[RUMBLING, GLASS RATTLING CONTINUES]
Aah! [GROANS]
[HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING]
We need you to come with us!
Me?
No, idiot, me!
Watch Reese for me!
I'll call you as soon as I can!
[HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING]
Um...
Okay...
Okay, well, I'll just...
You know, I'll be here!
I'm just gonna lock the door?!
Okay, cool.
[INSECTS CHIRPING]
Does that kind of thing happen a lot?
Nope.
Um...
Maybe you should go back to sleep.
When I feel like it.
What are you reading?
Mystery? Humor?
Self-help?
Romance?
Y-A?
I got some ideas for a Y-A novel.
Can you please just go away?
Serious question...
Would you rather read a
book called "Vampire Sluts"
or "Murder Teens"
- or "Robot High School"?
- What is your problem?
'Cause I'm leaning
towards "Vampire Sluts."
- Why are you even here?
- [CLEARS THROAT]
Your mom insisted.
Because you tried to kill yourself?
Yep.
Didn't... didn't take.
But the real question is, um,
why do you think Goth
- is still a thing?
- I'm not Goth.
Emo.
Do you know how old you sound right now?
Y... [SCOFFS]
[RUMBLING IN DISTANCE]
Um...
W-Why don't you...
Uh, do you want to just tell
me what that was, Reese?
Oh, God.
- [RUMBLING CONTINUES]
- Look! Look at that!
- [RUMBLING STOPS]
- That was a meteor!
- [EXPLOSION IN DISTANCE]
- Was that a meteor?
It sure as hell looked like it.
I mean, your mom would
definitely not want us
- to go check that out.
- I know.
??
But, I mean, we're definitely gonna
go check that out, right?
??
??
??
??
KEVIN: I can't see anything.
??
Wait, I don't we s...
??
REESE: It just looks
like a regular rock.
I thought it would look
more like a space thing.
??
I wouldn't touch it!
??
[EXPLOSION]
[KEVIN SCREAMING]
[THUDS]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
WOMAN: Transform yourself.
Transform yourself.
Transform yourself.
Transform yourself.
Transform yourself.
Transform yourself.
REESE: [DISTORTED] Kevin?
[NORMAL VOICE] Kevin!
What is wrong with you?
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Wha... How did we get here?
What are you talking about? You drove!
The car?
Oh, my God. You are the worst!
Well, just tell me what happened!
You thought it was an awesome idea
to touch a space rock,
and then you got, like,
electrocuted or something.
This is so weird.
What are you gonna do with it, anyway?
- With what?
- The meteor!
I don't want the meteor.
You brought it back with us!
What?
??
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
??
W-Why did I do that?
Because you're a crazy person!
Well, will you help me?
Reese!
??
[CAR DOOR OPENS, DOOR SLAMS IN DISTANCE]
??
[GRUNTS]
??
Come on!
[GASPS]
??
[CAR DOOR CLOSES]
??
[CAR ALARM CHIRPS]
_
O'DONNELL: Have you had
a chance to ingest
- the material we sent?
- [DOOR BEEPS]
- Twice.
- Initial impressions?
While I appreciate the
midnight helicopter ride,
I don't really know why I'm here.
These are meteors, not weapons.
The trajectories in
Indonesia and Greenland...
Save it for the briefing.
We're about to start.
- Who's giving it?
- You are.
[DOORS OPEN]
O'DONNELL: Some of you may
know of Dr. Amy Cabrera
from her work with the UN
inspection team in Iraq.
She's a professor of
aeronautical engineering
and one of the best
weapons analysts out there.
Professor, tell them what you told me.
??
Ladies and gentlemen, um,
good morning. [EXHALES SHARPLY]
Over the last 24 hours,
there have been 35
meteor strikes reported
all over the globe.
While this is highly unusual,
there is no evidence to
suggest that it's a weapon.
There have been no
ballistic missile launches
that have been detected.
The trajectory...
GENERAL: In any given year,
there are 5 to 10 meteor strikes
of this magnitude.
How do you explain 35 in a day?
Well, I can only tell you
what they aren't, General.
O'DONNELL: Here's my problem...
If these are supposed to be meteors,
they sure as hell don't act like them.
They don't get picked up
on any telemetry until
they hit the stratosphere.
Could someone be dropping
projectiles from a satellite?
Kinetic weapons are theoretical.
This isn't science fiction, General.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
O'DONNELL: Ladies and gentlemen,
our first confirmed strike
in the United States.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
- Are these coordinates correct?
- Yeah.
??
[INSECTS CHIRPING]
[CAR RATTLING]
[CAR ALARM BLARES]
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
[CAR ALARM BLARING CONTINUES]
[CAR ALARM CHIRPS]
[CAR ALARM SHUTS OFF]
[ROARING]
[NOISE STOPS]
??
??
[GROANS]
Do not be afraid.
[GROANS] You have been chosen!
Kevin?
??
WOMAN: Transform yourself.
??
[GROANS]
Mm...
??
[CELLPHONE VIBRATES]
[CELLPHONE CLICKS]
Ame. What's up?
AMY: Kevin, where
the hell have you been?
I have been calling you all night.
Oh. Really?
Look, there are reports
of a meteor strike
close to the house. Did you see it?
[WHIRRING IN DISTANCE]
AMY: Kevin, did you see it?
Um... nope, don't think so.
There's nothing for me to do here,
so I'm on my way back.
But answer your phone, okay?
Got it. Uh, yeah, see ya.
[GLASS CLINKS, LIQUID POURS]
??
[CLEARS THROAT]
??
Morning, sunshine.
You hungry?
Uh, sorry. Who are you?
Drink this.
It looks disgusting,
but it's good for you.
Um, wait, wait, wait...
Listen, you need to start
eating a healthy breakfast.
Your body's a gift from God.
And let's face it.
You've been treating
yours like a rental car.
Uh, well, so here's the thing,
this isn't actually your house.
It isn't your house either, Kevin.
- How'd you... How did you know m...
- Drink.
Mm! No, no, no. Listen, listen.
You got to go, or
I'm gonna call the c...
??
This...
This is really delicious.
Good. Enjoy that.
And listen. I'm here
to tell you something
that I suspect you already know.
Haven't you always felt
that you had a higher purpose,
that you were meant
for something greater?
[EXHALES]
Um... nope.
Can't say that I...
Yeah, no.
All right.
All right, all right. Fine.
[CLEARS THROAT]
In every generation
since the dawn of Man,
there are 36 righteous
souls in the world.
And they protect humanity
by merely existing.
Now...
There's only one.
Oh.
Okay.
You, Kevin...
You are the last of the righteous.
Sure.
Cool.
But you're not alone.
I'm a messenger from God.
- Oh, good.
- I'm here to guide and protect you.
- Whew!
- [LAUGHING] I know, right?
Yeah, that all sounds great.
- I love it.
- Kevin.
No, let's do all of those
things that you said.
- Kevin, put the knife down.
- What are you doing?
Reese, get out of here! No, you don't!
- Y-You stay right there.
- Who are you talking to?
- She can't see me.
- [LAUGHS]
Reese, go! I'll handle this.
Do n... You better stop
right now! I can... I'll...
Kevin.
??
She can't see me.
Are you telling me that you
don't see anybody else
in this kitchen right now?
??
- What happened to your face?
- [WINCES]
I need a ride to school.
Just please put clothes on.
I'm... Oh.
[SIGHS]
??
Leave the knife.
You look like a crazy person.
??
♪ Hey ♪
??
Hey, uh, you can hallucinate
if you've had a concussion, right?
Like, that's like a...
How would I know?
Well, you have your phone
right in front of you.
You could look it up.
You know, ask somebody on
Snapsnatch or whatever.
- ? Free your soul ?
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
I'm just a little...
Things are a little weird right now.
What is wrong with you?
Nothing. Nothing is wrong. I'm cool.
Let's talk about...
Let's talk about you.
What's up?
Huh? Seriously.
Your mom tells me that you
don't have any friends
- or something?
- Oh, my God.
What?
Let me give you a little advice
on personal relationships.
Dominate.
Just dominate all day long.
Never show weakness,
never show emotions...
That way you don't get hurt.
You know, you can just
drop me right here.
We're like a mile away.
What are you talking about?
Oh, what?
You don't want to be seen with me?
- Here's fine.
- No, no, no, no.
We are driving all the
way to the front door...
All the way.
- [SIGHS]
- 'Cause I'm your cool uncle,
and people are gonna want to see that.
Let's rock out. Okay? How 'bout this?
- ? This is my fight song ?
- I hate you.
♪ Take back my life song ♪
♪ Prove I'm all right song ♪
♪ My power's turned... ♪
[CAR HORN HONKS]
Bye... [SIGHS]
- [EXHALES SHARPLY]
- [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
Okay.
- YVETTE: I have a question.
- [GASPS]
Is it that you don't see she's hurting,
or is it that you just
don't know what to do?
[MURMURS]
??
Kevin!
[SIGHS]
KEVIN: Come on. Come on. Come on.
You need to calm down.
Hi, is Dr. Sloane available?
It's Kevin Finn.
Kevin, put the phone away.
Uh... Oh. He's on a plane.
Um... can we call the plane?
We do not have time for this.
Well, I can just talk to you,
right? You can do that?
Look, I'm a couple blocks
away from a pharmacy.
Can you just call me
in something awesome?
♪ You touch my soul ♪
[TIRES SCREECH]
♪ She make my heart
stop, drop, and roll ♪
♪ I'm on fire when you touch my soul ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh ♪
??
[TIRES SCREECH]
??
What the heck just happened?!
Like I said, I'm here to protect you.
And that's what I'm going to do.
So pull your head out of your ass.
We got work to do.
??
I imagine you have questions. Go ahead.
[INHALES SHARPLY]
You...
Threw a truck.
Is that your question?
Maybe? No! No.
Mm. Are you an angel?
Angels are a human construct.
Let's just say I'm a warrior for God.
Oh.
- Can I see your wings?
- Okay, cool, we're done with questions.
- [SIGHS]
- Here's what you need to understand.
You are the last of the righteous.
You have a sacred mission
to restore balance to the world
- by anointing 35...
- [SCOFFS] Oh.
- ... new souls.
- [SIGHS]
Got it?
Got it? Um...
Nope. Nope.
I definitely don't "got it." Um,
look, I'm not righteous, okay?
Go down the street to the church,
I guarantee you'll
find a bunch of people
- more righteous than me.
- Can't you see the gift
that you've been given?
To serve God, to...
- But...
- To... to... to protect humanity?
What more could one want from existence?
I can think of millions
of things right now.
Uh, money, naps, girls,
sushi, muscles, uh, an awesome
electric guitar. Guitar lessons.
[GROANS] This is gonna be a problem.
Hey, here's another problem.
I don't believe in God.
Hi.
Uh... I just love this song.
I just don't know the lyrics.
[CHUCKLES] 'Cause I... I don't...
God does not stop existing
based on what you believe.
Yeah, well, I don't
believe that, either.
Okay. Well...
Okay.
We need to start building
up your spiritual power
so you can find the righteous.
- That's all. That's all.
- Yeah, but you say that...
- I don't know what that means,...
- That's all.
- Just trust me!
- TYLER: K-Dog? [LAUGHS]
No way! It's Tyler!
Hey, Ty! What's going on?
Life, you know?
Been working here for
the past six years...
Like, six, seven years.
Great job... free coffee,
living with my mom, you
know, since the divorce.
Do you remember Tammy?
Oh. I'm sorry to hear that.
Oh, no. It's all good
...totally amicable.
- Oh.
- Let's hang out.
I don't have a car at the
moment. Mine got stolen.
But I've been biking everywhere,
and it's great.
[LAUGHS]
This shirt...
This is a really nice shirt.
This is, like,
the nicest shirt I've ever seen.
- [SNIFFS]
- Oh, my God.
Thank you so much for saying that.
I feel the same way.
I found this shirt in the street.
It's my favorite street shirt.
[CLEARS THROAT] Sorry. [CLEARS THROAT]
K-Dog!
Love this guy!
- YVETTE: Cute.
- You mind explaining to me
- what the hell that was?
- Why?
- That... that was Tyler.
- [GIGGLES] No.
That thing with the shirt.
And with the smoothie.
Okay, what exactly is the issue?
Uh, well, um...
[INHALES, CLICKS TONGUE]
I think everything is beautiful,
- and I don't like it.
- Oh!
You're seeing the world
through new eyes.
That's a sign.
- That's a good sign!
- Sign of what?
That you're starting to be
in tune with the Universe.
We need to start
strengthening that today...
Quickly.
Fine. How?
By doing something you seem
unaccustomed to, Kevin...
Putting others before yourself, hmm?
Living a life in service to others...
- [SCOFFS]
- ... helping those in need.
I can think of one person
right now in your life
who could use a little kindness.
Someone close to you.
Someone related to you.
Someone related to me?
Uh...
Your niece.
Reese!
Oh, right. Reese. Good one. Yep.
[SIGHS] This is gonna be harder
- than I thought.
- Okay.
KRISTIN: Kevin?
Oh, my God, it is you.
Kristin.
[CHUCKLES]
- Wow. Hey.
- God, I-I don't think I've seen you
in, uh, I don't... 10 years?
You look so [LAUGHS] different.
You look...
Great. You look great.
What are you doing in town?
Uh, just visiting the fam.
Oh, your niece is such a good kid...
One of my favorite students.
Oh, you're back here teaching?
Believe it or not. History.
[LAUGHING] I mean, sometimes I feel like
I never graduated.
- Hmm.
- [SIGHS]
It's really good that you're here.
Reese, you know, she's just...
- She's been through so much.
- Yeah.
I've been... I've been
trying to make time for her
and pull her out of her shell.
So, what's, uh... What's
going on with you?
You, uh...
Married or anything?
- Are you serious?!
- Oh!
- Still single.
- [COUGHS]
Work keeps me busy, so...
- Mm.
- How 'bout you?
I-I heard you're a big financial
investor in New York?
Oh. Uh...
You think now is a good
time to hit on your ex?
Is that what's happening?
- What about Reese?
- Um...
Yeah. Well, I sort of got
out of that business.
I'm just trying something different.
Wow. I... I'm surprised,
'cause, you know, you
were always that guy
who was gonna be billionaire
by the time he was 30.
Yeah, well, um...
- My, uh...
- We have work to do, Kevin.
- My priorities have shifted.
- Oh.
- We have to start now.
- Um... there... there's, uh...
- There's more important things...
- So say goodbye.
- ... than money.
- Goodbye.
Sure. Well, I hope you find
something that makes you happy.
- Goodbye!
- Okay. Goodbye. Goodbye.
There it is. Come on, now.
Oh. Bye.
- I said "Goodbye"!
- No, I know. I wasn't...
- I know. Not... I wasn't...
- I didn't...
- Okay, bye.
- Just... Yeah.
- Goodbye.
- Yeah.
??
[WHISTLE BLOWS IN DISTANCE,
INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
[BALL BOUNCES]
My mother talked to you.
Let's kick the ball around.
KEVIN: Here's the deal.
If I score on you, you don't
have to do anything...
No soccer, no
extracurricular activities.
You just stay home, listen
to My Chemical Romance,
and wear all the black clothes.
But if you make the save,
then you have to play soccer.
This is dumb.
Well, any answer but no means yes.
Get ready for the heat!
Aha!
You scored. I don't have to play.
Are we done now?
Wait, wait. Uh, no, I made a mistake.
I-I screwed up the rules.
Um, do over.
Do over! If I score, then you have to
play, so give me the ball.
You think you can just
come into our lives
and fix everything?
I don't even know you.
You're a Christmas card
with 20 bucks in it.
[WHISTLE BLOWS IN DISTANCE]
I mean, $50.
You were late to my dad's funeral,
and you left early.
??
I... I did do that.
And we haven't even seen you since then,
and that was, what, 18 months ago?
You want to know what you missed?
My mom in bed for two weeks straight.
She's still crazy about you.
I have no idea why.
Look, I...[SCOFFS]
I suck.
I mean, I-I absolutely do.
But, um...
I'm here now.
You're here because you
have nowhere else to go.
??
??
YVETTE: All right. Maybe helping
Reese out of gate wasn't the best idea.
I thought if I threw you in
the deep end, you'd swim.
I made a mistake. I can own that.
♪ Keep my hands to myself ♪
Look, I thought you had
more aptitude for this.
Turns out, you are fairly incompetent.
No, I think it went great.
This'll be good.
Good for what?
Training.
The only job you have in life
for the foreseeable future
is to build up your spiritual powers
through acts of kindness
and selflessness.
Now, after you've done so,
God is gonna show you how
to find the other righteous,
and then you'll anoint
them with an embrace.
- A hug?
- Yep.
So I'm supposed to go
around hugging strangers.
Should I just register
as a sex offender now,
- or...?
- You... you...
You know what a hug is, right?
Oh, and... and one more thing,
and this is really important...
You can never tell anyone
that you're one of the 36.
Why not?
I don't make the rules.
Face this way.
♪ I've been feeling it since 1966, now ♪
You've spent your life focused on
things that don't really matter
like money, power, sex,
external appearance,
but none of that's made you happy.
So once you let go of all
the superficial trappings,
you'll feel a peace that
you've never known.
Okay. That sounds pretty good.
- Now inhale.
- [BOTH INHALING SHARPLY]
- And exhale.
- [BOTH EXHALING SHARPLY]
And let go over everything in your life
that has no spiritual value.
? Give in to that easy living,
goodbye to my hopes and dreams ?
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
[ENGINE REVS]
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
♪ Let me kick it like it's 1986 now ♪
♪ Might be over now ♪
- Great.
- ? But I feel it still ?
- Lesson over.
- ? Might've had your fill ?
♪ But you feel it still ♪
??
PURCELL: Well, I think
we're done here, Kevin.
I'm gonna write this up as no liability.
Charlie feels awful.
Well, it's not his fault.
We all know whose fault it is!
All right, then.
- How's your sister doing?
- She's okay.
Oh, wait. You had a thing
for her in high school, didn't you?
??
[EXHALES]
You're free to go.
Give that to your insurance.
I check in on them from time to time,
make sure they're doing all right.
That's really cool, Nate. Thanks.
I guess you need a lift home.
- Oh, that'd be great.
- You have to ride in the back.
??
??
KEVIN: Hey.
You're back. [LAUGHS]
What's, uh... What's going on?
Well, Ms. Allen was kind enough
to bring Reese home from school today.
At least somebody around
here is responsible.
Yeah. Cool.
Oh, it's, you know, no problem. Anytime.
Thanks. Heh.
So, I-I have to... I'm
gonna... This was...
- Oh.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- [CLEARS THROAT]
Bye! - Bye...
Okay...
[ENGINE STARTS IN DISTANCE]
So, the helicopter, that was...
Did you go to the meteor site?
Um...
- Well, here's the thing...
- No, no, no.
I already talked to Reese.
I want to know what the
hell's going on, okay,
and I don't want any jokes,
and I don't want any
of your usual garbage.
- Ame, come on.
- Tell me the truth.
W-We did, yes. But it was my idea.
- It was my own, personal idea.
- I can't even believe
that I'm asking you
this question, but...
- What did you do with the meteorite?
- [INHALES SHARPLY]
Ohh. Um...
Oh...
I... um, yeah...
Not really allowed to, uh, talk...
- You're lying!
- No, no, no, no, no. It's...
Kevin, you're putting my
daughter in jeopardy.
- This isn't a joke!
- Um...
Okay, all right. Fine.
Sit down, sit down. Please.
- [SIGHS]
- Um..
Okay, I-I-I'm going to
tell you something,
and it's going to sound... insane,
uh, legitimately crazy.
But you know how we have that twin thing
where we can read each other's minds?
We don't have that.
Yes, we do. You can always
tell when I'm lying.
Because you're not a good liar.
Well, that
is very disappointing to me.
- [SCOFFS]
- Um, all right.
The truth is...
When we were in eighth grade,
I sold your underwear to Mikey DeFalco.
??
- Damn it, Kevin.
- W... Wait.
What did I just say?
Do you like doing this to people?
- No, no, no, no, no.
- Do you...
Do you like making people
feel stupid for trusting you?
No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait.
Hold on. All right, all right.
[EXHALES SHARPLY, CLEARS THROAT]
Sophomore year I stole
your band camp money...
To buy weed.
- No!
- I can't believe this.
Gah! What did I just say?!
I can't... I can't believe
that you turned into this.
??
Okay.
Okay.
??
Take a look at that.
??
"I slept with Connie
Boccabella at your wedding"?
- Seriously, Kevin,
- What?
you're the worst person I know.
I wrote that? No, that...
??
Kevin,
you and Reese are all that I have left.
I... [SIGHS]
When you did what you did,
when you tried to end your life,
that almost killed me.
Because it meant that you didn't care.
No, no, no. Amy...
- Amy, that is not true.
- Kevin...
I can't be the only person
that cares about this
relationship anymore.
I can't.
I can't have that around me.
I just...
I can't have that around Reese.
Kevin,
I love you.
- I know.
- We're a part of each other.
[SIGHS]
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
But if you're gonna be
like this, I just...
Uh, I...
- I'll go. I'll...
- No, that's not what I'm saying.
- I...
- Y-Yeah, yeah, you are.
??
??
Hey. Um...
[CLICKS TONGUE]
So, I'm gonna go.
My mom made me tell her.
Oh. Yeah, don't even...
That's not your job to lie for me.
Um...
Oh, but for what it's worth,
she's not gonna give up on, uh, soccer.
So my advice would be
to just find a thing and do it
so she'll calm down.
- Uh, bye, Reese.
- _
Uh, that's... All right.
[CELLPHONE VIBRATES]
[SIGHS]
Yeah?
DR. SLOANE: Kevin, it's Dr. Sloane.
My office said you were in crisis.
What's going on?
Um... [SIGHS]
Oh, I thought I was hallucinating.
But then I thought
that I wasn't.
I don't know. Maybe...
maybe none of it was real.
Uh...
[CHUCKLES]
??
Dr. Sloane?
[CLICKS TONGUE] Are you still there?
[INHALES SHARPLY] Great.
Ow!
- Am I real enough for you now?!
- Aah!
Am I real for you, Kevin?!
- What is wrong with you?
- What's wrong with me?
- What is wrong with you?
- [SIGHS]
Do you understand what's at stake here?
The world is not gonna end if I go home.
There are worse things
than the end of the world,
but you already know that, Kevin.
Think about how you felt when
you tried to take your own life.
Now imagine the whole of humanity
feeling that way.
That is what the world faces
without the righteous.
I think that you should just go back
to wherever it is that you came from,
'cause I'm done with all
of this and with you.
- I can't.
- [BAG JOSTLES]
- [SIGHS] Can't what?
- Go back.
Coming here was a one-way ticket.
??
I gave up paradise for you.
Wh...
[SIGHS]
??
WOMAN #1: Vendor Airlines, flight 174
- is now boarding at gate...
WOMAN #2: Transform yourself.
??
Transform yourself.
??
Transform yourself...
Confidence, beauty, renewal.
Englestein Plastic Surgery Center.
Transform yourself
into something new.
??
Call now for your free consultation.
- Transform yourself.
- KEVIN: Sir!
??
Sir? Hey! Sir!
??
REESE: Kevin! Kevin!
Reese? What are y...
- How did you get past security?
- I used my mom's miles.
I... I mean... Well, did you ask her?
So, you're just gonna leave?
- No...
- Just walk away from your family
- and think that's totally fine?
- Can we talk about this later?
You can't do that to my mom!
You can't just drop in
and blow up her life,
- and what are you even looking for?
- Uh... uh...
I'm about to do something weird.
You only ever do weird things.
Kevin...
Hi! Sorry.
I'm, uh... I'm Kevin.
Sorry to... to bother you.
I know this sounds crazy,
but I feel like I'm supposed to...
Or like...
[LAUGHS]
Uh...
Sorry. Um...
Three weeks ago, I-I
took a bunch of pills,
and I tried to kill myself.
Uh, I-I'd just got fired,
and my girlfriend left me,
and [CLEARS THROAT]...
I-I don't know if I ever
really loved her,
and I neglected
the most important
relationship of my life,
my amazing, crazy sister
who all she ever did was love me,
and every time I talked to
her, I felt guilty about it,
so I just stopped talking to her.
??
I'm
not a good person.
But, um...
Something has changed.
And
I feel like maybe there's a point.
Maybe there's...
There's something to live for.
And I'm... I'm...
I'm getting a second chance.
And I can't explain why,
but you're a part of that.
So, um...
If you don't mind,
can I... can I hug you?
Quick hug, no weird stuff.
Is that okay? Just a...
[BAG UNZIPS]
??
[CHUCKLES]
Ah...[LAUGHS]
That is perfect. [SNIFFLES]
That's the
perfect end to this stupid trip.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yes, I'll, uh...
I'll buy your... your pencil.
Actually, you know what?
Just take it all.
Sorry to bother you.
??
??
??
??
What was that? What just happened?
WOMAN: 13, passenger Stanley,
please report to Gate...
That guy...
Was wearing so much Drakkar Noir.
You're a jerk!
Reese, it was a ton. I can taste it.
So what happened?
I just...
I understand now.
??
KEVIN: Look, I just want to know
if Kristin
said anything about me.
REESE: I'm not talking
about Miss Allen with you.
[SIGHS]
All right, well, then, how
'bout a little light stalking?
- No!
- You'd do that.
- Come on.
- Stop asking.
Oh, hey.
Heads up.
You all right?
My dad and I
had this ritual after soccer practice.
He told me if I can find
enough loose change
rolling around his car,
we could stop for ice cream.
So I'd dig around the floor,
in between the seats,
and I'd always find
just enough money I
needed for ice cream.
Even when I figured out
he was just putting the money
there, I never said anything.
He never said anything.
Soccer was something we did together.
It was our thing. It was never my thing.
So I just don't want to play anymore.
Okay.
Then don't.
??
And I was thinking about what you said.
And...
I don't know, there's play tryouts
at school next week,
so maybe I'll do that.
??
Theater nerd? Ugh.
- I mean, I guess.
- Shut up!
[GROANS]
I don't have to go see
any of your plays, do I?
Everything about you is bad.
[SCOFFS]
I'm doing homework.
AMY: All right.
Uh, hi.
So...
Listen, um...
??
I mean, I had a whole speech planned.
[CHUCKLES]
??
Have you been here this whole time?
No, I've been in conference
with my colleagues.
- You have colleagues?
- Hmm... 36 meteors?
I'm not the only one who came here.
I found one.
At the airport.
I-I don't even know how to describe it.
It was... It was like
for one brief moment,
I understood
the Universe and my place within it.
Ooh, Kevin!
- That's beautiful!
- Yeah. [LAUGHS]
He wasn't one of the righteous.
The hell are you talking about?
Sorry.
No, that doesn't... I-I had feelings!
I had a bunch of feelings.
I'm really proud of you,
but it's not gonna be that easy.
There was, like...
[SIGHS]
??
Did you see that?
See what?
It was butterflies, I think.
- I don't know.
- [GASPS] It's a sign.
- It's a sign! [LAUGHS]
- [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
You're on the right path.
But what does that mean?
Uh, just... just keep
doing what you're doing.
The Universe will make the rest clear.
Okay? You need to get to bed early.
Tomorrow's when the
real training starts.
Oh, cool.
I look forward to you destroying
some more of my stuff.
Oh, now come on!
You know I have to tear
you down to build you up!
Well, maybe you could, uh,
build me up a car while you're at it.
A Tesla would be nice,
but you know what I like.
REESE: Maybe he isn't crazy.
Well, how am I supposed to get around?
Maybe it's possible
that one person can
actually make a difference.
It's like he's gotten a second chance,
and he's using it to do
something important.
[LAUGHS] Oh, yeah! All right.
Look, I just want to
know if you can fly.
I think it's a totally
reasonable question.
Except, yeah, he's super crazy.
Do you, like, zip around,
or can you, like...
Do you just have wings? Just tell me.
they understand how the world works.
- _
- ??
- But we don't really know anything.
- [SHEEP BLEATING]
- _
- ??
We're always asking if
we're alone in the universe...
if there's something else out there.
??
It's the wrong question.
We don't really need to
know what's out there.
- _
- We want to know why we're even here...
and if what we do really...
Matters.
??
- [CAR DOOR CLOSES]
- Ah!
- [LAUGHS] Hey.
- Hey.
Hi.
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
How are you?
Uh...
[GASPS] You look bad.
Oh. Okay.
- Um...
- Okay.
- Well, come on. Come in.
- [CLEARS THROAT]
AMY: Hey, Reese, say
hi to your Uncle Kevin.
I'm gonna figure out the food situation.
- Hey.
- Hey.
What are you listening to?
You wouldn't know them.
AMY: Have you seen this new math?
I'm an engineering professor,
and I can't even figure
it out. [CHUCKLES]
- Oh.
- Maybe you can.
He wouldn't get it.
Well, Reese, you're
probably right. [LAUGHS]
All right, so we have
meat loaf or chicken.
You know what? I think I am
just going to get settled and...
Hit the sack.
Okay.
Uh... wrong, wrong, and wrong.
Just... Okay. Night.
Hey, um, look,
I know that he hasn't
been in our lives lately,
but he needs us.
Give him a chance.
[MUSIC PLAYS OVER EARBUDS]
[INSECTS CHIRPING IN DISTANCE]
AMY: That's a new mattress.
Oh, you didn't have to do that.
Well, the old one was,
like, 20 years old,
so I think, legally, actually I did.
[CHUCKLING]
And if your girlfriend
wants to come visit,
we have plenty of rooms.
Yeah. No. Um...
That's kind of over.
- [SIGHS]
- Oh.
- Sorry to hear that.
- Oh, it's not a big deal.
How's, um...
Work?
Fine.
It's great.
Um... got tenure, so, full professor.
- [CHUCKLES]
- So, yeah.
Nice.
Awesome.
I missed you.
You know, if you ever want to...
Reese hit maximum teenager, huh?
Oh. Yeah.
Well, she's just trying to be cool
- in front of you.
- Ah.
She's been going through some stuff
since Jon died.
??
Yeah, um...
Sorry I haven't been, you know, around.
It's okay.
We're okay.
Except she won't talk
about him at all...
To me, to anyone.
She doesn't see her friends.
She doesn't really do much of anything.
She's just kind of pulled
out of her life. I'm...
I'm worried about her.
- Sure.
- She used to love playing soccer,
and then she quit the team.
I keep hounding her
to play again, but...
I just... I feel like it would help.
[CHUCKLES]
??
Sorry.
I'm just unloading on you.
No, it's fine.
- [SIGHS]
- It's fine.
??
I'm glad you're here.
??
You can stay as long as you like.
Yeah... probably just a couple
days. [CLEARS THROAT]
??
Okay.
- ??
- [SIGHS]
??
[INSECTS CHIRPING]
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
[RUMBLING IN DISTANCE]
[GLASS RATTLING]
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
[RUMBLING, GLASS RATTLING CONTINUES]
Aah! [GROANS]
[HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING]
We need you to come with us!
Me?
No, idiot, me!
Watch Reese for me!
I'll call you as soon as I can!
[HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING]
Um...
Okay...
Okay, well, I'll just...
You know, I'll be here!
I'm just gonna lock the door?!
Okay, cool.
[INSECTS CHIRPING]
Does that kind of thing happen a lot?
Nope.
Um...
Maybe you should go back to sleep.
When I feel like it.
What are you reading?
Mystery? Humor?
Self-help?
Romance?
Y-A?
I got some ideas for a Y-A novel.
Can you please just go away?
Serious question...
Would you rather read a
book called "Vampire Sluts"
or "Murder Teens"
- or "Robot High School"?
- What is your problem?
'Cause I'm leaning
towards "Vampire Sluts."
- Why are you even here?
- [CLEARS THROAT]
Your mom insisted.
Because you tried to kill yourself?
Yep.
Didn't... didn't take.
But the real question is, um,
why do you think Goth
- is still a thing?
- I'm not Goth.
Emo.
Do you know how old you sound right now?
Y... [SCOFFS]
[RUMBLING IN DISTANCE]
Um...
W-Why don't you...
Uh, do you want to just tell
me what that was, Reese?
Oh, God.
- [RUMBLING CONTINUES]
- Look! Look at that!
- [RUMBLING STOPS]
- That was a meteor!
- [EXPLOSION IN DISTANCE]
- Was that a meteor?
It sure as hell looked like it.
I mean, your mom would
definitely not want us
- to go check that out.
- I know.
??
But, I mean, we're definitely gonna
go check that out, right?
??
??
??
??
KEVIN: I can't see anything.
??
Wait, I don't we s...
??
REESE: It just looks
like a regular rock.
I thought it would look
more like a space thing.
??
I wouldn't touch it!
??
[EXPLOSION]
[KEVIN SCREAMING]
[THUDS]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
WOMAN: Transform yourself.
Transform yourself.
Transform yourself.
Transform yourself.
Transform yourself.
Transform yourself.
REESE: [DISTORTED] Kevin?
[NORMAL VOICE] Kevin!
What is wrong with you?
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Wha... How did we get here?
What are you talking about? You drove!
The car?
Oh, my God. You are the worst!
Well, just tell me what happened!
You thought it was an awesome idea
to touch a space rock,
and then you got, like,
electrocuted or something.
This is so weird.
What are you gonna do with it, anyway?
- With what?
- The meteor!
I don't want the meteor.
You brought it back with us!
What?
??
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
??
W-Why did I do that?
Because you're a crazy person!
Well, will you help me?
Reese!
??
[CAR DOOR OPENS, DOOR SLAMS IN DISTANCE]
??
[GRUNTS]
??
Come on!
[GASPS]
??
[CAR DOOR CLOSES]
??
[CAR ALARM CHIRPS]
_
O'DONNELL: Have you had
a chance to ingest
- the material we sent?
- [DOOR BEEPS]
- Twice.
- Initial impressions?
While I appreciate the
midnight helicopter ride,
I don't really know why I'm here.
These are meteors, not weapons.
The trajectories in
Indonesia and Greenland...
Save it for the briefing.
We're about to start.
- Who's giving it?
- You are.
[DOORS OPEN]
O'DONNELL: Some of you may
know of Dr. Amy Cabrera
from her work with the UN
inspection team in Iraq.
She's a professor of
aeronautical engineering
and one of the best
weapons analysts out there.
Professor, tell them what you told me.
??
Ladies and gentlemen, um,
good morning. [EXHALES SHARPLY]
Over the last 24 hours,
there have been 35
meteor strikes reported
all over the globe.
While this is highly unusual,
there is no evidence to
suggest that it's a weapon.
There have been no
ballistic missile launches
that have been detected.
The trajectory...
GENERAL: In any given year,
there are 5 to 10 meteor strikes
of this magnitude.
How do you explain 35 in a day?
Well, I can only tell you
what they aren't, General.
O'DONNELL: Here's my problem...
If these are supposed to be meteors,
they sure as hell don't act like them.
They don't get picked up
on any telemetry until
they hit the stratosphere.
Could someone be dropping
projectiles from a satellite?
Kinetic weapons are theoretical.
This isn't science fiction, General.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
O'DONNELL: Ladies and gentlemen,
our first confirmed strike
in the United States.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
- Are these coordinates correct?
- Yeah.
??
[INSECTS CHIRPING]
[CAR RATTLING]
[CAR ALARM BLARES]
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
[CAR ALARM BLARING CONTINUES]
[CAR ALARM CHIRPS]
[CAR ALARM SHUTS OFF]
[ROARING]
[NOISE STOPS]
??
??
[GROANS]
Do not be afraid.
[GROANS] You have been chosen!
Kevin?
??
WOMAN: Transform yourself.
??
[GROANS]
Mm...
??
[CELLPHONE VIBRATES]
[CELLPHONE CLICKS]
Ame. What's up?
AMY: Kevin, where
the hell have you been?
I have been calling you all night.
Oh. Really?
Look, there are reports
of a meteor strike
close to the house. Did you see it?
[WHIRRING IN DISTANCE]
AMY: Kevin, did you see it?
Um... nope, don't think so.
There's nothing for me to do here,
so I'm on my way back.
But answer your phone, okay?
Got it. Uh, yeah, see ya.
[GLASS CLINKS, LIQUID POURS]
??
[CLEARS THROAT]
??
Morning, sunshine.
You hungry?
Uh, sorry. Who are you?
Drink this.
It looks disgusting,
but it's good for you.
Um, wait, wait, wait...
Listen, you need to start
eating a healthy breakfast.
Your body's a gift from God.
And let's face it.
You've been treating
yours like a rental car.
Uh, well, so here's the thing,
this isn't actually your house.
It isn't your house either, Kevin.
- How'd you... How did you know m...
- Drink.
Mm! No, no, no. Listen, listen.
You got to go, or
I'm gonna call the c...
??
This...
This is really delicious.
Good. Enjoy that.
And listen. I'm here
to tell you something
that I suspect you already know.
Haven't you always felt
that you had a higher purpose,
that you were meant
for something greater?
[EXHALES]
Um... nope.
Can't say that I...
Yeah, no.
All right.
All right, all right. Fine.
[CLEARS THROAT]
In every generation
since the dawn of Man,
there are 36 righteous
souls in the world.
And they protect humanity
by merely existing.
Now...
There's only one.
Oh.
Okay.
You, Kevin...
You are the last of the righteous.
Sure.
Cool.
But you're not alone.
I'm a messenger from God.
- Oh, good.
- I'm here to guide and protect you.
- Whew!
- [LAUGHING] I know, right?
Yeah, that all sounds great.
- I love it.
- Kevin.
No, let's do all of those
things that you said.
- Kevin, put the knife down.
- What are you doing?
Reese, get out of here! No, you don't!
- Y-You stay right there.
- Who are you talking to?
- She can't see me.
- [LAUGHS]
Reese, go! I'll handle this.
Do n... You better stop
right now! I can... I'll...
Kevin.
??
She can't see me.
Are you telling me that you
don't see anybody else
in this kitchen right now?
??
- What happened to your face?
- [WINCES]
I need a ride to school.
Just please put clothes on.
I'm... Oh.
[SIGHS]
??
Leave the knife.
You look like a crazy person.
??
♪ Hey ♪
??
Hey, uh, you can hallucinate
if you've had a concussion, right?
Like, that's like a...
How would I know?
Well, you have your phone
right in front of you.
You could look it up.
You know, ask somebody on
Snapsnatch or whatever.
- ? Free your soul ?
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
I'm just a little...
Things are a little weird right now.
What is wrong with you?
Nothing. Nothing is wrong. I'm cool.
Let's talk about...
Let's talk about you.
What's up?
Huh? Seriously.
Your mom tells me that you
don't have any friends
- or something?
- Oh, my God.
What?
Let me give you a little advice
on personal relationships.
Dominate.
Just dominate all day long.
Never show weakness,
never show emotions...
That way you don't get hurt.
You know, you can just
drop me right here.
We're like a mile away.
What are you talking about?
Oh, what?
You don't want to be seen with me?
- Here's fine.
- No, no, no, no.
We are driving all the
way to the front door...
All the way.
- [SIGHS]
- 'Cause I'm your cool uncle,
and people are gonna want to see that.
Let's rock out. Okay? How 'bout this?
- ? This is my fight song ?
- I hate you.
♪ Take back my life song ♪
♪ Prove I'm all right song ♪
♪ My power's turned... ♪
[CAR HORN HONKS]
Bye... [SIGHS]
- [EXHALES SHARPLY]
- [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
Okay.
- YVETTE: I have a question.
- [GASPS]
Is it that you don't see she's hurting,
or is it that you just
don't know what to do?
[MURMURS]
??
Kevin!
[SIGHS]
KEVIN: Come on. Come on. Come on.
You need to calm down.
Hi, is Dr. Sloane available?
It's Kevin Finn.
Kevin, put the phone away.
Uh... Oh. He's on a plane.
Um... can we call the plane?
We do not have time for this.
Well, I can just talk to you,
right? You can do that?
Look, I'm a couple blocks
away from a pharmacy.
Can you just call me
in something awesome?
♪ You touch my soul ♪
[TIRES SCREECH]
♪ She make my heart
stop, drop, and roll ♪
♪ I'm on fire when you touch my soul ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh ♪
??
[TIRES SCREECH]
??
What the heck just happened?!
Like I said, I'm here to protect you.
And that's what I'm going to do.
So pull your head out of your ass.
We got work to do.
??
I imagine you have questions. Go ahead.
[INHALES SHARPLY]
You...
Threw a truck.
Is that your question?
Maybe? No! No.
Mm. Are you an angel?
Angels are a human construct.
Let's just say I'm a warrior for God.
Oh.
- Can I see your wings?
- Okay, cool, we're done with questions.
- [SIGHS]
- Here's what you need to understand.
You are the last of the righteous.
You have a sacred mission
to restore balance to the world
- by anointing 35...
- [SCOFFS] Oh.
- ... new souls.
- [SIGHS]
Got it?
Got it? Um...
Nope. Nope.
I definitely don't "got it." Um,
look, I'm not righteous, okay?
Go down the street to the church,
I guarantee you'll
find a bunch of people
- more righteous than me.
- Can't you see the gift
that you've been given?
To serve God, to...
- But...
- To... to... to protect humanity?
What more could one want from existence?
I can think of millions
of things right now.
Uh, money, naps, girls,
sushi, muscles, uh, an awesome
electric guitar. Guitar lessons.
[GROANS] This is gonna be a problem.
Hey, here's another problem.
I don't believe in God.
Hi.
Uh... I just love this song.
I just don't know the lyrics.
[CHUCKLES] 'Cause I... I don't...
God does not stop existing
based on what you believe.
Yeah, well, I don't
believe that, either.
Okay. Well...
Okay.
We need to start building
up your spiritual power
so you can find the righteous.
- That's all. That's all.
- Yeah, but you say that...
- I don't know what that means,...
- That's all.
- Just trust me!
- TYLER: K-Dog? [LAUGHS]
No way! It's Tyler!
Hey, Ty! What's going on?
Life, you know?
Been working here for
the past six years...
Like, six, seven years.
Great job... free coffee,
living with my mom, you
know, since the divorce.
Do you remember Tammy?
Oh. I'm sorry to hear that.
Oh, no. It's all good
...totally amicable.
- Oh.
- Let's hang out.
I don't have a car at the
moment. Mine got stolen.
But I've been biking everywhere,
and it's great.
[LAUGHS]
This shirt...
This is a really nice shirt.
This is, like,
the nicest shirt I've ever seen.
- [SNIFFS]
- Oh, my God.
Thank you so much for saying that.
I feel the same way.
I found this shirt in the street.
It's my favorite street shirt.
[CLEARS THROAT] Sorry. [CLEARS THROAT]
K-Dog!
Love this guy!
- YVETTE: Cute.
- You mind explaining to me
- what the hell that was?
- Why?
- That... that was Tyler.
- [GIGGLES] No.
That thing with the shirt.
And with the smoothie.
Okay, what exactly is the issue?
Uh, well, um...
[INHALES, CLICKS TONGUE]
I think everything is beautiful,
- and I don't like it.
- Oh!
You're seeing the world
through new eyes.
That's a sign.
- That's a good sign!
- Sign of what?
That you're starting to be
in tune with the Universe.
We need to start
strengthening that today...
Quickly.
Fine. How?
By doing something you seem
unaccustomed to, Kevin...
Putting others before yourself, hmm?
Living a life in service to others...
- [SCOFFS]
- ... helping those in need.
I can think of one person
right now in your life
who could use a little kindness.
Someone close to you.
Someone related to you.
Someone related to me?
Uh...
Your niece.
Reese!
Oh, right. Reese. Good one. Yep.
[SIGHS] This is gonna be harder
- than I thought.
- Okay.
KRISTIN: Kevin?
Oh, my God, it is you.
Kristin.
[CHUCKLES]
- Wow. Hey.
- God, I-I don't think I've seen you
in, uh, I don't... 10 years?
You look so [LAUGHS] different.
You look...
Great. You look great.
What are you doing in town?
Uh, just visiting the fam.
Oh, your niece is such a good kid...
One of my favorite students.
Oh, you're back here teaching?
Believe it or not. History.
[LAUGHING] I mean, sometimes I feel like
I never graduated.
- Hmm.
- [SIGHS]
It's really good that you're here.
Reese, you know, she's just...
- She's been through so much.
- Yeah.
I've been... I've been
trying to make time for her
and pull her out of her shell.
So, what's, uh... What's
going on with you?
You, uh...
Married or anything?
- Are you serious?!
- Oh!
- Still single.
- [COUGHS]
Work keeps me busy, so...
- Mm.
- How 'bout you?
I-I heard you're a big financial
investor in New York?
Oh. Uh...
You think now is a good
time to hit on your ex?
Is that what's happening?
- What about Reese?
- Um...
Yeah. Well, I sort of got
out of that business.
I'm just trying something different.
Wow. I... I'm surprised,
'cause, you know, you
were always that guy
who was gonna be billionaire
by the time he was 30.
Yeah, well, um...
- My, uh...
- We have work to do, Kevin.
- My priorities have shifted.
- Oh.
- We have to start now.
- Um... there... there's, uh...
- There's more important things...
- So say goodbye.
- ... than money.
- Goodbye.
Sure. Well, I hope you find
something that makes you happy.
- Goodbye!
- Okay. Goodbye. Goodbye.
There it is. Come on, now.
Oh. Bye.
- I said "Goodbye"!
- No, I know. I wasn't...
- I know. Not... I wasn't...
- I didn't...
- Okay, bye.
- Just... Yeah.
- Goodbye.
- Yeah.
??
[WHISTLE BLOWS IN DISTANCE,
INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
[BALL BOUNCES]
My mother talked to you.
Let's kick the ball around.
KEVIN: Here's the deal.
If I score on you, you don't
have to do anything...
No soccer, no
extracurricular activities.
You just stay home, listen
to My Chemical Romance,
and wear all the black clothes.
But if you make the save,
then you have to play soccer.
This is dumb.
Well, any answer but no means yes.
Get ready for the heat!
Aha!
You scored. I don't have to play.
Are we done now?
Wait, wait. Uh, no, I made a mistake.
I-I screwed up the rules.
Um, do over.
Do over! If I score, then you have to
play, so give me the ball.
You think you can just
come into our lives
and fix everything?
I don't even know you.
You're a Christmas card
with 20 bucks in it.
[WHISTLE BLOWS IN DISTANCE]
I mean, $50.
You were late to my dad's funeral,
and you left early.
??
I... I did do that.
And we haven't even seen you since then,
and that was, what, 18 months ago?
You want to know what you missed?
My mom in bed for two weeks straight.
She's still crazy about you.
I have no idea why.
Look, I...[SCOFFS]
I suck.
I mean, I-I absolutely do.
But, um...
I'm here now.
You're here because you
have nowhere else to go.
??
??
YVETTE: All right. Maybe helping
Reese out of gate wasn't the best idea.
I thought if I threw you in
the deep end, you'd swim.
I made a mistake. I can own that.
♪ Keep my hands to myself ♪
Look, I thought you had
more aptitude for this.
Turns out, you are fairly incompetent.
No, I think it went great.
This'll be good.
Good for what?
Training.
The only job you have in life
for the foreseeable future
is to build up your spiritual powers
through acts of kindness
and selflessness.
Now, after you've done so,
God is gonna show you how
to find the other righteous,
and then you'll anoint
them with an embrace.
- A hug?
- Yep.
So I'm supposed to go
around hugging strangers.
Should I just register
as a sex offender now,
- or...?
- You... you...
You know what a hug is, right?
Oh, and... and one more thing,
and this is really important...
You can never tell anyone
that you're one of the 36.
Why not?
I don't make the rules.
Face this way.
♪ I've been feeling it since 1966, now ♪
You've spent your life focused on
things that don't really matter
like money, power, sex,
external appearance,
but none of that's made you happy.
So once you let go of all
the superficial trappings,
you'll feel a peace that
you've never known.
Okay. That sounds pretty good.
- Now inhale.
- [BOTH INHALING SHARPLY]
- And exhale.
- [BOTH EXHALING SHARPLY]
And let go over everything in your life
that has no spiritual value.
? Give in to that easy living,
goodbye to my hopes and dreams ?
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
[ENGINE REVS]
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
♪ Let me kick it like it's 1986 now ♪
♪ Might be over now ♪
- Great.
- ? But I feel it still ?
- Lesson over.
- ? Might've had your fill ?
♪ But you feel it still ♪
??
PURCELL: Well, I think
we're done here, Kevin.
I'm gonna write this up as no liability.
Charlie feels awful.
Well, it's not his fault.
We all know whose fault it is!
All right, then.
- How's your sister doing?
- She's okay.
Oh, wait. You had a thing
for her in high school, didn't you?
??
[EXHALES]
You're free to go.
Give that to your insurance.
I check in on them from time to time,
make sure they're doing all right.
That's really cool, Nate. Thanks.
I guess you need a lift home.
- Oh, that'd be great.
- You have to ride in the back.
??
??
KEVIN: Hey.
You're back. [LAUGHS]
What's, uh... What's going on?
Well, Ms. Allen was kind enough
to bring Reese home from school today.
At least somebody around
here is responsible.
Yeah. Cool.
Oh, it's, you know, no problem. Anytime.
Thanks. Heh.
So, I-I have to... I'm
gonna... This was...
- Oh.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- [CLEARS THROAT]
Bye! - Bye...
Okay...
[ENGINE STARTS IN DISTANCE]
So, the helicopter, that was...
Did you go to the meteor site?
Um...
- Well, here's the thing...
- No, no, no.
I already talked to Reese.
I want to know what the
hell's going on, okay,
and I don't want any jokes,
and I don't want any
of your usual garbage.
- Ame, come on.
- Tell me the truth.
W-We did, yes. But it was my idea.
- It was my own, personal idea.
- I can't even believe
that I'm asking you
this question, but...
- What did you do with the meteorite?
- [INHALES SHARPLY]
Ohh. Um...
Oh...
I... um, yeah...
Not really allowed to, uh, talk...
- You're lying!
- No, no, no, no, no. It's...
Kevin, you're putting my
daughter in jeopardy.
- This isn't a joke!
- Um...
Okay, all right. Fine.
Sit down, sit down. Please.
- [SIGHS]
- Um..
Okay, I-I-I'm going to
tell you something,
and it's going to sound... insane,
uh, legitimately crazy.
But you know how we have that twin thing
where we can read each other's minds?
We don't have that.
Yes, we do. You can always
tell when I'm lying.
Because you're not a good liar.
Well, that
is very disappointing to me.
- [SCOFFS]
- Um, all right.
The truth is...
When we were in eighth grade,
I sold your underwear to Mikey DeFalco.
??
- Damn it, Kevin.
- W... Wait.
What did I just say?
Do you like doing this to people?
- No, no, no, no, no.
- Do you...
Do you like making people
feel stupid for trusting you?
No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait.
Hold on. All right, all right.
[EXHALES SHARPLY, CLEARS THROAT]
Sophomore year I stole
your band camp money...
To buy weed.
- No!
- I can't believe this.
Gah! What did I just say?!
I can't... I can't believe
that you turned into this.
??
Okay.
Okay.
??
Take a look at that.
??
"I slept with Connie
Boccabella at your wedding"?
- Seriously, Kevin,
- What?
you're the worst person I know.
I wrote that? No, that...
??
Kevin,
you and Reese are all that I have left.
I... [SIGHS]
When you did what you did,
when you tried to end your life,
that almost killed me.
Because it meant that you didn't care.
No, no, no. Amy...
- Amy, that is not true.
- Kevin...
I can't be the only person
that cares about this
relationship anymore.
I can't.
I can't have that around me.
I just...
I can't have that around Reese.
Kevin,
I love you.
- I know.
- We're a part of each other.
[SIGHS]
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
But if you're gonna be
like this, I just...
Uh, I...
- I'll go. I'll...
- No, that's not what I'm saying.
- I...
- Y-Yeah, yeah, you are.
??
??
Hey. Um...
[CLICKS TONGUE]
So, I'm gonna go.
My mom made me tell her.
Oh. Yeah, don't even...
That's not your job to lie for me.
Um...
Oh, but for what it's worth,
she's not gonna give up on, uh, soccer.
So my advice would be
to just find a thing and do it
so she'll calm down.
- Uh, bye, Reese.
- _
Uh, that's... All right.
[CELLPHONE VIBRATES]
[SIGHS]
Yeah?
DR. SLOANE: Kevin, it's Dr. Sloane.
My office said you were in crisis.
What's going on?
Um... [SIGHS]
Oh, I thought I was hallucinating.
But then I thought
that I wasn't.
I don't know. Maybe...
maybe none of it was real.
Uh...
[CHUCKLES]
??
Dr. Sloane?
[CLICKS TONGUE] Are you still there?
[INHALES SHARPLY] Great.
Ow!
- Am I real enough for you now?!
- Aah!
Am I real for you, Kevin?!
- What is wrong with you?
- What's wrong with me?
- What is wrong with you?
- [SIGHS]
Do you understand what's at stake here?
The world is not gonna end if I go home.
There are worse things
than the end of the world,
but you already know that, Kevin.
Think about how you felt when
you tried to take your own life.
Now imagine the whole of humanity
feeling that way.
That is what the world faces
without the righteous.
I think that you should just go back
to wherever it is that you came from,
'cause I'm done with all
of this and with you.
- I can't.
- [BAG JOSTLES]
- [SIGHS] Can't what?
- Go back.
Coming here was a one-way ticket.
??
I gave up paradise for you.
Wh...
[SIGHS]
??
WOMAN #1: Vendor Airlines, flight 174
- is now boarding at gate...
WOMAN #2: Transform yourself.
??
Transform yourself.
??
Transform yourself...
Confidence, beauty, renewal.
Englestein Plastic Surgery Center.
Transform yourself
into something new.
??
Call now for your free consultation.
- Transform yourself.
- KEVIN: Sir!
??
Sir? Hey! Sir!
??
REESE: Kevin! Kevin!
Reese? What are y...
- How did you get past security?
- I used my mom's miles.
I... I mean... Well, did you ask her?
So, you're just gonna leave?
- No...
- Just walk away from your family
- and think that's totally fine?
- Can we talk about this later?
You can't do that to my mom!
You can't just drop in
and blow up her life,
- and what are you even looking for?
- Uh... uh...
I'm about to do something weird.
You only ever do weird things.
Kevin...
Hi! Sorry.
I'm, uh... I'm Kevin.
Sorry to... to bother you.
I know this sounds crazy,
but I feel like I'm supposed to...
Or like...
[LAUGHS]
Uh...
Sorry. Um...
Three weeks ago, I-I
took a bunch of pills,
and I tried to kill myself.
Uh, I-I'd just got fired,
and my girlfriend left me,
and [CLEARS THROAT]...
I-I don't know if I ever
really loved her,
and I neglected
the most important
relationship of my life,
my amazing, crazy sister
who all she ever did was love me,
and every time I talked to
her, I felt guilty about it,
so I just stopped talking to her.
??
I'm
not a good person.
But, um...
Something has changed.
And
I feel like maybe there's a point.
Maybe there's...
There's something to live for.
And I'm... I'm...
I'm getting a second chance.
And I can't explain why,
but you're a part of that.
So, um...
If you don't mind,
can I... can I hug you?
Quick hug, no weird stuff.
Is that okay? Just a...
[BAG UNZIPS]
??
[CHUCKLES]
Ah...[LAUGHS]
That is perfect. [SNIFFLES]
That's the
perfect end to this stupid trip.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yes, I'll, uh...
I'll buy your... your pencil.
Actually, you know what?
Just take it all.
Sorry to bother you.
??
??
??
??
What was that? What just happened?
WOMAN: 13, passenger Stanley,
please report to Gate...
That guy...
Was wearing so much Drakkar Noir.
You're a jerk!
Reese, it was a ton. I can taste it.
So what happened?
I just...
I understand now.
??
KEVIN: Look, I just want to know
if Kristin
said anything about me.
REESE: I'm not talking
about Miss Allen with you.
[SIGHS]
All right, well, then, how
'bout a little light stalking?
- No!
- You'd do that.
- Come on.
- Stop asking.
Oh, hey.
Heads up.
You all right?
My dad and I
had this ritual after soccer practice.
He told me if I can find
enough loose change
rolling around his car,
we could stop for ice cream.
So I'd dig around the floor,
in between the seats,
and I'd always find
just enough money I
needed for ice cream.
Even when I figured out
he was just putting the money
there, I never said anything.
He never said anything.
Soccer was something we did together.
It was our thing. It was never my thing.
So I just don't want to play anymore.
Okay.
Then don't.
??
And I was thinking about what you said.
And...
I don't know, there's play tryouts
at school next week,
so maybe I'll do that.
??
Theater nerd? Ugh.
- I mean, I guess.
- Shut up!
[GROANS]
I don't have to go see
any of your plays, do I?
Everything about you is bad.
[SCOFFS]
I'm doing homework.
AMY: All right.
Uh, hi.
So...
Listen, um...
??
I mean, I had a whole speech planned.
[CHUCKLES]
??
Have you been here this whole time?
No, I've been in conference
with my colleagues.
- You have colleagues?
- Hmm... 36 meteors?
I'm not the only one who came here.
I found one.
At the airport.
I-I don't even know how to describe it.
It was... It was like
for one brief moment,
I understood
the Universe and my place within it.
Ooh, Kevin!
- That's beautiful!
- Yeah. [LAUGHS]
He wasn't one of the righteous.
The hell are you talking about?
Sorry.
No, that doesn't... I-I had feelings!
I had a bunch of feelings.
I'm really proud of you,
but it's not gonna be that easy.
There was, like...
[SIGHS]
??
Did you see that?
See what?
It was butterflies, I think.
- I don't know.
- [GASPS] It's a sign.
- It's a sign! [LAUGHS]
- [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
You're on the right path.
But what does that mean?
Uh, just... just keep
doing what you're doing.
The Universe will make the rest clear.
Okay? You need to get to bed early.
Tomorrow's when the
real training starts.
Oh, cool.
I look forward to you destroying
some more of my stuff.
Oh, now come on!
You know I have to tear
you down to build you up!
Well, maybe you could, uh,
build me up a car while you're at it.
A Tesla would be nice,
but you know what I like.
REESE: Maybe he isn't crazy.
Well, how am I supposed to get around?
Maybe it's possible
that one person can
actually make a difference.
It's like he's gotten a second chance,
and he's using it to do
something important.
[LAUGHS] Oh, yeah! All right.
Look, I just want to
know if you can fly.
I think it's a totally
reasonable question.
Except, yeah, he's super crazy.
Do you, like, zip around,
or can you, like...
Do you just have wings? Just tell me.