Kacha Ze (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 8 - Episode #1.8 - full transcript

Can I show you?
-Show us tomorrow.

But tomorrow I'm at Grandma's.
-Tomorrow evening.

It'll just take 5 minutes.
-Amy, finish up, Grandma's coming.

So can I show you when she comes?
-At her place.

It'll just take 5 minutes!
-You heard your mom!

Can I have dessert? -Sweetie,
you'll have dessert at Grandma's.

But Grandma's isn't yummy.
-Then don't eat it.

I want dessert!
-Give him something.

Tohar,
the chocolate is in the cupboard,

you can get it yourself.

So can you.
-Can I show you?



You can take chocolate.
-I'm still eating.

Amy, Grandma will be here soon.
-She can wait.

Keeping Grandma waiting
isn't nice.

Amy, open the door.
-Why me?

Because!

So look.
-One sec.

You didn't look.
-That was charming, sweetie.

Get the door.

Hi, Grandma.
Wanna see me do cartwheels?

Look.

Good Shabbat.
-Good Shabbat. -Good Shabbat.

Grandma, you didn't look!
-I did.

Where's my plate?
-Mom cleared it.

But I wasn't done!



Why are you late?
-Couldn't find the keys.

Kids, are you ready?

Mom, stay with me
until I fall asleep.

No, sweetie, I told you,
you're going with Grandma.

Come with us.

No, I told you I'm not coming.

You didn't tell me.

I did, when we came back
from school, remember?

You didn't tell me.

Tohar, I did, and I told you
that Grandma

will buy you a super-hero
tomorrow morning.

I'm not buying anything on Shabbat.

I don't wanna go!

You should, Tohar,
Amy will teach you to do cartwheels.

Don't wanna!
-I got you the chocolate you like.

I already had chocolate.

So have more.
-I don't wanna!

Mommy, I want to stay with you.
-Tomorrow.

Today!

You heard your mom, Tohar.

But Grandma's house smells!

Tohar!
-Apologize to Grandma.

Sorry, but your house smells.

If he's acting up, I'm out.
-He's not acting up. Enough already.

Tohar, go with Grandma.
-Forget it, some other day.

Behave, sweetie.
-Sweetie, go with Grandma now

and tomorrow I'll let you
play with my phone.

All day?
-All day.

Bye, sweetie. Don't forget
to brush your teeth at night.

Okay.
-Bye, darlings.

Significant Other

One sec.

Welcome.

Hello.
-Come on in.

Hello. -Hello.
-Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Come on in.

Did you get here easily?
-Yes, good directions.

Great.
Where did you park?

Right across, is that okay?
-Near the Meirson sign?

Before it. -You didn't block
their driveway, right?

No.
-Oh, good.

Should we move the car?
-No, they're nuts,

but as long as you didn't block
the path, it's fine.

Have a seat.

We brought wine.
-Good.

It's cozy here.
-Yep. -Thanks.

We just moved in here
6 months ago.

Congrats.
-Thanks.

Is this considered a village?

-A communal village?

I believe it used to be. Now it
mostly moves down the generations.

You specialize
in drip irrigation, right?

Drip irrigation, gardening equipment,

we have a small dairy farm...
-Nice. -Nice.

Yep.

So, shall we have a drink?

Sure. -Yes.

Looks good.

Yes, the vendor
recommended it.

Come lend me a hand.

Me?
-Yes.

I can do it alone,
but I like getting help.

Sure, why not?

Good Shabbat.

Good Shabbat.
-Good Shabbat.

Baby, put on some music.
-Wait, let me say hi.

Hi there.

Nice to meet you.
Eitan.

Welcome to our home.

Thanks.

Nice to meet you.

I'm Eitan.
-Hi.

Did you get here easily?

Yes, the directions were good.

They parked near the Meirsons.
-Did you block their driveway?

No, we parked before the sign.
-Oh, then it's fine.

Yes, Goldie told us so.

Babe, put on some music.
-Alright.

What do you like?

Whatever...
World music.

Anything specific?
-Whatever.

Okay.

Oh, I love that music.

Thanks.

The wine smells nice.

Yes, it's supposed
to be nice.

Fruity.
-That's what the vendor said.

Efrat and Geva are on the way.

She just messaged me that
their babysitter is running late.

Should we wait for them or...?
-No, no.

They're coming.

Did you send them the address
on Waze? -They know the way.

They were here once
about renting a place.

Whose?
-I didn't ask.

Okay, so in the meantime,
cheers.

Cheers.
-Cheers.

Good Shabbat.

Good Shabbat.
-Good Shabbat.

Let's have a good time.
-Good Shabbat.

Nice boobs.

Thanks.

Yours too.

These babies? Thanks.

Wanna smoke something?
-Yep. -Yeah?

I have something
really extraordinary.

Leftovers from my late uncle.

He had pancreatic cancer,
horrible...

Yes, it was awful...

Chemo is the devil.

You see your loved one
dying before your very eyes.

Nothing but skin and bones.

No hair, not even eyebrows.
Horrible.

Sounds awful.
-Yes...

His prescription runs out on January.
I don't know what we'll do then.

It's not so hard
to get some these days.

Yeah, but it comes rolled up,

nice and tight...
It's a pleasure.

True.

Should we have
something stronger to drink?

How about whisky?
-Great idea.

Whisky?
-Yes. -Yes?

Whisky?
-Sure, why not?

Babe, bring the bottle here.
-Of course.

Ice?

Ice, anybody?
-No, thanks.

So...
Tell us about yourselves.

What are you guys into?

What are you into?
-Well... I'm into...

reading, traveling, movies,

wandering around...
-You're something else!

Ordinary stuff.

So what I'm into is..

being like this,

on all fours,

while Eitan..

licks my butt.

You like?

Me?

Yes.

Guess so.

Good, then touch it.

See what a Pilates workout
feels like.

You bet.

Touch it, don't be shy.

Firm.

Like a rock.

Get it?

Yes.

what are you into?

All kinds.

All kinds of what?

For instance?

I go with the flow.

Does she?

She?

Usually.

Where do you like
to let her flow?

Me?

Wherever is necessary.

Because it's important
that everything be consensual.

Totally. -Absolutely.

You strike me as someone
who's into everything. Am I right?

Who, me?

Yeah, I'm game.

Good.

Let's play a game then.

You're gonna love this one.

It's amazing.

Okay.

Here goes.

Here you have...

Hold on...

5 decks of cards:

"Ask me",

"surprise me",

"tempt me",
which is my favorite,

"kiss me"

and "talk to me".

Every player in turn

picks a card
from whichever deck,

and chooses another player that
has to do what it says on the card.

Got it?
It's simple.

Babe, you go first.

Gladly.

I choose "tempt me".

My favorite.

Nice.

Do we have any whipped cream?
-Of course.

"The other player
must smear whipped cream

"on your genitals and lick it off."

Whoa...
-Nice!

"Genitals" is plural.
-"Lick it" means the cream.

Oh.
-Who do I choose...?

Hold on...

I choose..

I choose..

I choose..

Come to Daddy, pal.

It's a game, right?
-You're kidding, right?

Why would I be kidding?

No... I didn't think..

I know, but he can choose
whoever he wants.

But didn't you say that...

That's the game. -Relax, everybody
will take turns with everybody.

Show me the card..

"Must smear whipped cream
on the genitals and lick it off..."

Right here?

Of course.
That's the fun part.

I'll go get the whipped cream.
-Cool...

Can I have some water?

Or soda?

You've never done that?

Don't remember.
I don't know.

Nothing tops the first time.

That's what they say.

You said you're game, right?
-Yes, but I didn't think

it meant that..

If you don't try,
how will you know?

Hi, baby.
-Hi, baby.

Oh, man, you look like
you've seen a ghost!

Come here, sweetie,
I choose you.

Me?

No good?

That's why we're here, right?

It must be them,
they're lost.

Told you to send them
the address, honey.

Shit, what now?

Babe..

Talk to her.
-Come on...

Hello?
-What's up, Eitan?

What's up, Etti?
-They want pizza.

Then order pizza.
-But there's food in the fridge.

Then give them whatever you want.
-They want pizza

no matter what I offer them -
stuffed veggies, meat patties,

sautee...
They want only pizza.

So what? They don't need
to get everything they want.

You want?

You good? -Yeah.

You seem a little..

It was kinda..

What did you think?

That we'd get to know them first.

You want to get to know them?
I don't.

Want my credit card?
-Yes.

Goldie's getting it.

Are you two having a nice time?
-Thank God, Etti.

Good.
-5326...

5326..

5626..

3.
-Oh, 53...

26.
-26.

1003...
-1003...

Hold on, the pen isn't writing...

Easy does it.

There.

10...

05...
-3.

3005?

1003.

Yes?
-7482...

7482..

Oh, 7...

8... -5131.
-2.

5131.

1.
Nice number.

Expiration date?

06/20.
-06/20.

06...

I'm ordering only three toppings.
-Whatever you want.

Bye, Etti.
-Bye.

You didn't give her the CW.
-What’s that?

The three digits in the back.
-You never need those for pizza.

You always do.
-I was never asked to give those.

I work in the field, trust me.

You own a pizzeria?

No, I run a business,
but I work with credit cards.

Maybe in your business you need it,
not when you order pizza.

He's a divorced dad,
he knows about ordering pizza.

I never had to give

Hi, Etti.

They asked for the digits
in the back. -Nice.

I know what I'm talking about.
-I think it's 138.

Goldie...

Goldie's checking.

Otherwise they don't approve...

138.

Thanks, sweetheart.

You're welcome.

Tomorrow at ten, yes?
-Tomorrow at ten.

Don't be late.
-We won't be.

Bye, Etti.
-Bye, Mom.

Bye, good night.
-Bye-bye.

So...

Where were we?

Not on the rug
-Sorry...

Are you okay?

Come here. -Sorry.
-Come...

Easy now...
-Come here, sweetie.

Should I come with you?

No, stay here
and help Eitan clean up.

We'll be fine.
-Sorry...

Let's go, sweetie.

Not sexy.

No.

Piss is one thing, but vomit...

Some people are into it.
-Really?

I don't know of any.

What do we do now?

I don't know.

So...

Do you have cleaning wipes?
-Yes, on the counter.

Are you okay?

Hold on.

I'm sorry.

What for?

For ruining the evening.

It's alright.

As soon as you two came in I realized
this wouldn't be a memorable night.

What gave it away?

It's not a bad thing.

I like it,
but it's not for everyone.

What do you like about it?

What I like about it?

It makes me horny,

I feel sexy,

I feel Eitan is sexy...

Not with women like you, but when
he's with a woman who's into it,

it's fun,
it's exciting,

it's...

You become an animal,
I mean, in a good way.

I'll get you a bag.

I can't handle vomit.

Okay.

Get some baking soda too.

Does it help?

I guess,
it's in every cleaning hack.

What does it look like?
-Beats me.

But it's not soda.

Of course.

Here you go, handsome.

Thanks.

Missed a spot. See it?

Yes, one sec.

Good.

A bit more...

Harder. Good, good.

A bit more over there.

Bingo.

Good.

That's it.

You're a hero.

Do you have any carpet cleaner?

I'll check.

Can this help?

No, that's an oven cleaner.
-Oh, I thought...

It's okay, I think we're good.
-Yeah? -Yeah.

The trash is over there.

You know what our lives
were like before this?

Work, kids, work, kids,

Friday night friends come over,

we were beat, bored,

we'd talk about politics,

about real estate,
and all we wanted was

for them to get out of our
living room so we could sleep.

And then

Eitan met some guy
during his reserves duty,

a guy who was
really into it,

and he got him excited about it.

At first I was like,
"Over my dead body."

I was like you,
stiff as a board,

but Eitan begged me:
"Let's try it, it'll do us good,

"and if you don't like it,
we'll leave,"

so I figured, why not?
I'll take one for the team.

How bad can it be? Another
bad experience under our belt?

This stuff is making me chatty...

It's fine.

I suddenly feel energized.

So how did it go?
-How did it go?

It started out
like the Armenian Holocaust.

It was a big space
with tons of people,

not like here, only 4 or 6.
This is peanuts.

There, I started panicking.

I was petrified,
I wanted outta there,

I wanted to die.

And suddenly,

a young guy came on to me,

luckily, he was hot.

I looked at Eitan,

saw that it gave him a huge boner,

and I figured,
let's pass this dark tunnel.

Just like a baby,
who's cozy in the womb,

knows he must pass the dark tunnel
or he'll die.

Did you pass it?

I did.

I did indeed.

It's like a sport to me.

It's a muscle you develop
and it becomes stronger

and it's fun.
Loads of fun.

Don't you feel bad afterwards?

No, I feel great.

It's like the way you feel
after yoga.

I walk down the street
knowing that I'm hip.

That I've broken my parents' chains

who told me what I can
or can't do.

You can't even fathom that, huh?

I can't even believe it.

Why not?
Because it's different to you?

Because it doesn't work that way.
-For you.

For anyone.

We got it out.
-Yep.

Come, have a drink.

Here you go.
-Thanks.

To women.

Cheers.

So...

Let's wait for them.
-Sure.

You hit the gym?

Nope.

So you're naturally buff?

I walk,

swim...

Nice.
-Yep.

Freestyle? Breaststroke?

Freestyle, one way,
Breaststroke, the other way.

Nice.

At our age we need it.

Sure.

I used to be able to scoff down
hamburgers like there's no tomorrow

even at 4 a.m.

Today...

Sure...

Just to keep in shape,
I'm not trying to get ripped.

Just maintenance.

I used to lift weights
and get buff in a sec.

Today, nothing...

It's all about keeping
a balanced diet.

Yeah, but it's tough.

It's all about closing your mouth
when necessary.

Should we go see how they're doing?
-Don't worry,

Goldie's great in these situations.

You sure?

The woman is a rock, she got me
out of this shock countless times.

It's like your best friend,
only with tits.

Interesting.

Some more?

That's some good whisky.
-It's killer.

But I have to pace myself

because whisky
makes me whacko.

If I over-drink,

I suddenly lose it.

I should stop.

Come on, drink with me.

Yeah?
-Yeah, YOLO.

You're right.

To the last drop.
Fuck it.

Cheers.

Joint?

And keep mixing?

YOLO, right?

Go for it, I'm on board
whatever you say.

YOLO.

Maestro.

Your uncle's weed?
-Be my guest.

His leftovers.

You know, nothing beats
getting head from a guy.

How do you mean?

Only a guy understands
what a guy wants.

Good point.

We're easy to operate,

but only we understand
our own equipment.

Yep.

I remember...

the best blowjob I ever got.

It was in Rishon LeZion,
on an evening like this,

with people around,
darkness,

and I was in paradise,

getting the blowjob of my life.

look down and I see Moti.

Fucking Moti, man...

a guy I've known for 20 years.

You never know.

You said it.

Ever since then,

it's been awkward seeing

I get it.

Sure you do,
because you're a guy,

and guys understand guys.

Imagine the girls coming back,

you close your eyes

and the three of us
go down on you.

Whose would be best?

The best?

Why did you come here?

I don't know.

I'll tell you why.

You're introverted.

You're concrete.

It's like you're locked
in a concrete cage

you've built for yourself
and decorated it with all kinds of...

principles.
But it's not working for you,

so you figured, you'd open
yourself up, do something hip,

and realized you can't do

All done?

Oh well,

at least at your age you don't have
to worry about being pregnant.

I was, until recently.

You're kidding!
You have a baby?!

No, it didn't take.

But you have kids.

No.

How terrible!

No, I never really wanted kids.

You didn't want kids?!

It's not right for everyone.

You can't even fathom that, huh?

I'd kiss you right now.

Gross...
-Yep.

But before,
I'd have gladly fucked you.

Next time.

"Pancake House"

So,
what can I get you guys?

I'll have a regular pancake, please.
-I'll have a chocolate pancake.

Would you like whipped cream
with that?

No...
-No...

How's yours? Tasty?