Joan of Arcadia (2003–2005): Season 2, Episode 8 - Friday Night - full transcript

Previously on Joan of Arcadia...

I am Judith Montgomery.

Oh, from camp.

What are you doing here ?

This is just the super loser hangout.

Hey, it's the only smoking section.

Ohh, did you really drink that whole bottle ?

Call 911.

This is all my fault.

Yeah, like I go out of my way, to avoid trouble.

The thing about Joan. She actually sticks around.

Hang onto her, Adam.

She saved my life this summer.

See ?

How cool is this?

When you're in the zone, all's right with the world.



"Cirque de Judith".

Listen, where is Adam taking me for dinner?

Sworn to secrecy.

I already told Lischak you'd do the project with me.

Try it again.

Ah. I would like to obsess over me now, ok,

and not these stupid balls.

This is, like, my first real date with Adam.

And this is the only way to salvage my physics grade.

Do you want me to get shipped off to boarding school?

Please ?

That's good.

Can't we just see if Styrofoam floats?

If you learn how to juggle,

I'll tell you where Adam's taking you to dinner.

Deaf, are we?

Here, watch.


Hi, Fran.

Is Judith...

Yeah, she's right through there.

Hi, honey.

Hi, Fran.


I brought you some clothes.

Joan's fit.

You're welcome.

Are you sure it's ok that she spends the night again?

Bill's out of town and I have a lecture...

Of course.

Hey, she's like one of us now.

I'm just so grateful that Judith is spending time here.

She hasn't always made the best choices in the past.

Judith !

Sorry, that was me.

Joan, take it outside.


Teenagers are hard, even when it's going well.

I guess being shrinks we thought we could work it all out,

but they have to rebel and be independent...

While we do their laundry.


Toss one up, and when it starts to come down...

Where is he taking me for dinner?

When it starts to come down...

then toss up the next one,

and focus on catching the first,

and then toss up the third

and focus on catching the second.

I hate you.

Good night, Joan.

Oh, bye.

Good night, honey.


Night, Fran.

Juggle, Jo-jo.

Hey !

Wait !


Devine Intervention. Should have known.

Your friend is right, Joan.

It's all about catching what's coming at you.

Ok, but this is too hard for me.

You know, you're always going to be met with challenges you think you can never overcome,

but everyone has the ability to surprise themselves.

So, it's important to you that I juggle?

-== [ ] ==-

Better !

He's taking you to ?La Cachette?.

That place is fancier than real France.

I'm going to get stuff stuck in my teeth.

Can't we just microwave popcorn and watch "the shining"?

I'll scream, he'll hold me.

He's spending his bonus from work on you instead of an x-box.

You know how deep that is?

Yeah, but I don't need a fancy date.

I mean, we're fine the way we are.

Yeah, real fine..

You thought me and Adam were hooking up.


Occasionally, not so fine, but...

What if he looks across the table and realizes that I'm not worth it?

Could happen.

The whole dating ritual is barbaric.

It's all about compromise, the slow death of self.

Way to make my first date special, Grace.

I'm going to have to start another women's movement.

The first one obviously didn't take.

I'm going to break out.

I break out when I get nervous.

He's going to be at dinner with a zit in a dress.

Try the balls.

Better than Prozac.

They turn off your mind,

all the crapola goes away.

Very zen-Y.


I have to catch what's coming at me, right?


That was good.

That...that was better.

Oh, hey Jane.

Hey, I was just...

uh, uh, dropping things.

Uh, yeah.

Uh, so, tomorrow night.

Yeah, tomorrow night.

Well, I should go practice.




Dude !

Are you sure this is a good idea?

Oh, a night she'll never forget?

Girls kinda go for that.

So why can't I breathe?

"Where love is great, the littlest doubts are fear;

where little fears grow great, great love grows there."

It's Hamlet, act 3, scene 2.

Get flowers !

Don't lurk, dude.

I'm almost done.

Just two more pages.

You memorized the whole play?

It was just a goof, Friedman.

When Alexander Fleming found penicillin on a moldy plate,

he saved untold millions.

There are no goofs.

Soon I will bathe you in sweet poetry,

and you will know the true Friedman.


They are so seriously twisted, dude.

Why do you care if Joan and Adam go on a date?

Because they're just mindlessly following these random sociological constructs.


I was going to ask you out tonight.

Who do you think you're twisting tongues with, dude?

Schlock festival at the aero.

The all-time worst films...

Plan 9,

Robot Monster,

Catwoman from the moon.

I mean.

These are serious classics.

I have a meeting tonight.

"Anarchists unite"?

Isn't that contradictory?

Anarchy is about shedding false conceptions,

so it is not at all contradictory,

brain drain.

Maybe if you came, you'd be less politically dense.

Well, anarchists should have an appreciation for the chaotic ineptitude of schlock cinema.

It's the very definition of anarchy.

Don't twist political philosophy to manipulate me into a date.

Wasn't that what you're doing?

Trying to get me to your meeting?

Find new lips, creep.

Come on , Grace.

We're supposed to, uh, "harmonize our divergent agendas."

You can see the strings on the flying saucers.


Hey, are you busy?

Um, well, I've got to grade these projects,

and then I've got to clean out the supply closet.

Yes or no ?



Honey, what is it?


All right, I'm going to ask you something,

but you're not my mother, ok ?

You're just some random old lady.

No, I'm not...




Ok, look, your first date.

Your very first real one,

where a guy took you out and he paid for you and you had to look really nice and everything.

Do you remember that?

Oh, sweetheart.

No mother stuff!

Yes, I remember.

My memory is still quite good for an elderly person.

What was that like?

Because Adam's going to take me out tomorrow night,

and you have this whole fantasy about how it's going to be all romantic,

where you look at each other and you both know that this night was meant to be

and you say all the right things,

and he looks at you like you're the only person in the whole world,

and all the other couples are totally jealous

because they're just pure leftovers next to you,

and when he takes you home,

he gives you that kiss...

that kiss that never leaves you...

was it like that?


Oh, my God.

You're totally lying.

No, I had a wonderful time,

just like you said.

What happened?

Did you throw up on him?

No !



my hair kind of caught on fire.

What ?

Well, we were in this little Italian restaurant and...

you don't need to hear this.

Spill it.

Well, we leaned over the candle to kiss,

and my hair fell into the flame

and so I jumped up and I tipped the table over on Nick,

and then the waiter poured water on me to put me out,

and everything was...


It's done, dude.

The whole thing.

It's right up here...

every line.

And she wants to hear it.

I saw it in her eyes.

But what if you're wrong?

You know, you've wasted weeks memorizing hamlet just so she can dismiss you

because she has no real appreciation of what makes you unique,

just superficial judgments about you wrapped up in pretentious, dogmatic beliefs.

Whoa, Intense.

I'm sorry, dude.

I just don't want to see you get emotionally eviscerated.

You do not get it, se?or.

"This very ecstasy of love leads the will to desperate undertakings."

I have to go.

What ?

Oh, that's hot.

What are you doing tonight?

Oh, hanging with some ass lumps from my old school.

Ahem. Trying to hide them?

'Cause you promised.

What ?

I've been practicing.

I'm getting very good.


Joanith is so going to ace this project.

How about some skirts and tops?

I wish I knew what Adam was wearing, you know?

I want to look like we fit.

Oh, you'll fit.

That I guarantee.

Did you dress him?

Have you ever known a guy who can dress himself,

unless it's for swimming or bed?

You are so saving my life.

And if I ever have a date,

you'll save mine.

I always seem to scare them off before they spring for the big night.

Hey, I love this.

Can I borrow it?

I hate what my mom brought

Yeah, sure.


Try this one.


Yeah ?

Yeah, and then I want to do something with your hair.

And I'll do your makeup,

and then I'll give you some botox and do your boobs.

I'm kidding.

Oh, my...

The fairy godmother has completed her job.

I'm heading home.

Thank you, Mrs. Girardi.

Oh, anytime.

Hey, let Kevin give you a ride.

You shouldn't be walking around at night.

Yeah, I'm heading downtown anyway.

Everyone has a date tonight.

No, I'm covering night court.

Oh, been there.

In my youth.




Oh...hi. Uh, I'm here for Joan.

Dude, you're the shock and awe of cute.

You can come in, Adam.

You have before.

Joan, Adam's here.

So, where are you guys off to?

Uh, La cachette.

It's a surprise.

Uh...uh... uh, we should

we should go.


Have a good time.


Have fun.




I'll get the kleenex.

Filet mignon and steak au poivre.

Uh, steak.

How would you like your steak prepared, monsieur? a pan.

Very good, monsieur.




Awesome ordering.


So you ordered the duck.

I've only seen that in the movies.

Well, he recommended it.

I didn't want to hurt his feelings.

I just hope it doesn't come in a little sailor suit like Donald.


The last time we ate together,

our meal came with a toy.

You look so pretty, Jane.

Really ?


Look at you.

You look like that guy from the hives if he wasn't such a poser and his songs didn't suck.

Yeah ?


You know, we've been stretched so thin lately...

I...I was afraid we were gonna break.

Me, too.

Can I have a kiss?

Well, let's have another roll since there's no one here to tell us we'll spoil our appetite.

Hello ?

How's it going?

Oh, this...

this is not a good time.


That's why I called. Ha ha!

Dude, get off the phone.

Bite me, Ryan.

Where are you?

Oh, we're on our way to some party.

We're just picking up some snacks.

Hey, wait !

So ?

It's like I won a contest.

Oh! Yes!

If this guy takes off and we don't get our stuff...

Hey. Look, I gotta go.

Be in love, Joanith,

and eat lots of dessert.

Ok, bye.

It's Judith.


Thank you.

The government doesn't care because power only cares about itself.

Corporations don't care because they're too busy gouging you.

So what's this all about

This is about us.

It's about you and me.

It's not about hierarchies.

It's not about authority...

Grace !

Not the power from above.

This is a moment for society in which the violence of power...

Grace !

Have you seen Grace Polk?

Yeah, well, what does she look like?

Well, um, her jacket is, um...

it's kind of like yours and her hair is...

kind of like yours...

well, kind of like you, um,

and her and...

well, everyone here, I guess.

Are you saying we're conformists, dude?

No !

No, no, no, no !

You all have very subtle differences,

very distinctly subtle...

Dude, those sneakers were made in central America by children working 20-hour-days

in rat-infested factories.

My mom got 'em for me.

Look at the dude's shoes.

I'm just looking for my friend...

to give her these shoes...

for you to burn.

Hold on, Eros.

I'll have the ship in the air in a minute!

Girardi ?


Eros, Eros, wake up! !

Eros, Eros, wake up, wake up! !

Eros, Eros !

Thank God.

Girardi !

Girardi ! Friedman !

Missing someone, Marge?

?Get out of here!

The ship is on fire!?

Will !

What ?

What couldn't you tell me on the phone?

Teenage girl.

Multiple stab wounds.

And ?

No I.D., just...

just a name tag and a sweater.

Oh, my God!

Will !

Two more units are in rall, e.t.a. about 5 minutes.

Is she gonna make it?

Multiple wounds to the chest and midsection.

Significant blood loss.

It's a simple question.

She's a mess.

I really don't know.

Come on, let's go guys.

She goes to school with my daughter.

Her name is Judith Montgomery.

The name tag said Joan Girardi.

I thought I was gonna have to tell you...

Lucy !

I want this whole area cordoned off!

Get some lights down here,

a lot of 'em!

This has been, like, the best night of my entire life, Adam.


Um... well, I...I know you're gonna come inside, but, um...

do you think maybe we could do the good night kiss thing out here first?

Mom !

The place was so good.

I stole a roll for you.

What ?


Oh, God.

Is it...

is it dad?

No, he's fine.


it's Judith.

It?s serious



How is she?

They don't know.

They operated,

but there's so much internal bleeding.

They tried to stop it, but...


she's gonna be ok.

She'll be fine.

It's Judith.

Bill's coming back from the conference.

He can't get a plane out until tomorrow, but...

but I'll be fine.

Oh, Fran, we'll stay with you.

She's awake and seems to be stable for the moment.

Is one of you Joan?


She's been asking for you.

You should only stay a few minutes.

I was just with her.

You go.

She'll be glad to see you.




How was it?

It was fine.

That's all?

Come on.

Well, it doesn't really matter now.

You should just rest.

It totally matters.

Was it great?

How was the kissing?

It was perfect.

Why'd you go there, Judith?

Didn't you know how stupid that was?

Adam !

Um... I didn't really think about it.

Well, you should have thought about it.

You should have

You're gonna be fine.


I don't think there should be this many people in the room.

I'll be outside.

Forget it.

I did sorta bring you guys down.

Oh no.

You were a bad girl.

I have to ground you.

I might've really blown it this time, Jo-Jo.

Doctors, they won't look at me.

And my mom, she has this look on her face.


No, you're gonna...

you're gonna be fine.

Yeah. I think this is the first time in my life...

I ever really wanted to live.

It's bad timing, huh?


What is it?

What's going on?

I have to talk to Judith.

You should wait outside.

Papa Girardi.


I'll try to make this as quick as possible.

But we need your help.

Do you know who did this to you?

Some slug who was gonna sell them X.

I guess he thought it'd be easier to rip us off.

I shoved him away.

But I got in the way of his knife, I guess.

Well, can you tell us who your friends are?

We need to talk to them.

They didn't stay?

They must've been very scared.


You can lose it, mom.

It's ok.

It's ok.

It's ok.

I...I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry.

Oh, no. Shh-shh.

I'm sorry. Shh. Shh.

I'm sorry, mom.

Attention, attention !

Extension xj2!

This is totally inept, dude.

It makes stupid look stupid.

I know.

And yet it endures.

An evolutionary marvel.

I'm so on board.


What ?

I can see it now.

You and Luke.

You know, if you give us up, you'll never have kids.


I got that.

Hey, that's right...

Grace ?

I went to the anarchy meeting looking for you.

I came here for the movies.

Yeah ?

What happened to your shoes?

They were made by kids in central America.

I burned them.


She wants to see you again.

I know you call the shots.

But I need you right now, ok?



need you.

I?m here Joan

Why did you let this happen?

It's not his fault, jo-jo.

You make sure that she's ok.

Jo-jo !

No, he can fix this.



Don't piss off the only doctor I like.

He's the only one that'll look at me.

It's difficult not to look at such a beautiful person.

See ?

He's my angel.

Oh. I'll leave you two alone.

Why didn't you tell me this was gonna happen?

I could have stopped it.

Events unfold after choices are made, Joan.

But why couldn't she see all the other choices she had?

It's about juggling, remember?

Good choice, bad one.

Good friends, bad ones.

Light, dark.

it's hard.

You said so yourself.

Hey, doc...

But I...

don't take away my only friend.


No, that's not true.

You have lots of friends.

Good ones.

Do not cry.

I will be officially pissed if you cry.



What ?

You said you could do it.

I wanna see.

No, not now.

You promised.

You gonna back out on me when I'm in this shape?

Use those.

I had it before. Judith...

You?re too tense.

You need to relax.

I...I swear.

I swear I had it before.

Don't try to control it.

Just focus on the catching.

Better, huh?

Oh, my God!

No !

Judith, please !

No, Judith, please !

Oh, my God !

Somebody, please!

Oh, please!

Somebody, please!

What's going on?
No, no, no.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Tell me what's happening.

Somebody tell me what's happening!

Oh, my God !

Oh, my God !

Please !

she was gonna come over tomorrow morning.

We were gonna work on our project.

She...she was going to...

what are we doing here?

I need gas, and I don't want us stuck by the side of the road after all this.

How could you just do that?

She's gone.

How can you just fill up your stupid car

I was empty.

Shut up !

Joan ?

You just can't go on like this.

She's gone!

You let her die!


It's all right.

Joan, come on, honey.

It's not his fault.

Honey, come on.

Hey, Grace.

Why don't you guys come inside?

In a while.



I couldn't done the play for her tonight.

I should've just asked her.

Are you saying it's your fault?

Is that what you're saying, Friedman,

what, do you think you're God?

I just meant if I would have asked...

How about me, huh?

Maybe if I hadn't gone on that stupid date...

maybe I killed her!

Dude, chill.

Why ?!

Why should I chill?!

All we've been through with Kevin...

he's still here.

You know what I hate?

Monday morning, there's gonna be all these memorials

and flowers and stupid ass teddy bears.


>From a bunch of people who didn't even know her.

She told me she collected pez dispensers.


How could you?!

How could you just leave me?!

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

No !

How could you just leave me there?!

I tried, ok?

I couldn't do it.

Not after my mother, I...

I couldn't.

I...I just couldn't see someone throw her life away like that.

Not again.

She didn't...

she didn't kill herself.

Some people do it all at once.

And some people do it a little bit every day.


I loved her.


I know.

And I don?t know why that doesn?t matter.

"Doubt thou the stars are fire;

doubt that the sun doth move;

doubt truth to be a liar;

but never doubt I love.

Oh dear Oph?lia,

I have not art to reckon my groans;

but that I love thee best, o most best...

Believe it.


Just give it up.

Hold hands or something.

Ok, this is just weird.


They light up.

I was, uh...

I was gonna give them to Judith for your project.

Kind of a...

thank you, you know, for our date.

What are you doing here?

Haven't you done enough?

She loved you, Joan.

And I loved her.

What am I supposed to do with that now?

Did you ever hear the riddle about the man, his boxes, and the bridge?

S...s...stop !

I... I just want my friend back.

A man had 3 boxes.

Each box weighed 5 pounds.

The man weighed 190.

The bridge could only support 200.

How did the man make it across the bridge with all his boxes?

This is just cruel.

How did he get across, Joan?

He juggles.

Yes, ok.

I get it.

He keeps one box in the air the whole time.

Yes, I get it.

What are you saying?

That...that if I juggled boxes across a bridge I'll see Judith again?

Joan, the bridge is life.

The boxes hold your feelings...

your love,

your joy,

your pain,

your loss.

Everyone is crossing a bridge with more weight than they can bear.

So you juggle.


All right, you got it.