Joan of Arcadia (2003–2005): Season 2, Episode 7 - P.O.V. - full transcript

Remember your kinetic sculpture's due Friday.

Hello ?

Oh, could you hold on a minute?

Mrs. G, I kinda need an extension.

Just till monday.

The past 3 nights I've been at work until after midnight,

and tonight--


If I do it for you,

I have to do it for everyone.



Hello ?


Jeremy ?

Oh, my...

How long has it been?

No, not that long.

Oh...didn't we just graduate from college a couple of years ago?

I did not.

You dumped me.

Well, hey...

it's a little late for regrets, Jeremy.

So, who else blew off trig?

I did.


Excuses ?


Art project,


it made no sense.

You ?

Behind the music marathon.

Grand Funk Railroad.

So tragic.

Their manager took all their money,

and now I've never heard of them.

I'm just gotta drop some stuff in my locker,

and then we can start putting my sculpture together.

Oh, wait, I can't.

I have my first appointment with the college counsellor today.

He is so scary.

He actually licks his lips when he mentions Princeton.

Yeah, well, I'll be lucky if he mentions college.

I mean, you said you'd help.

I mean, I'm already so far behind.

I know, I'm sorry.

He's making me spend the afternoon working on my essay about extracurricular activities...

which I don't have,

unless you count napping.

Why not tomorrow?


I told you.

Tomorrow's my internship.

Right, right.

And thursday I have to cram for history and finish the trig that I blew off,

working at the bookstore.


No, it's too late.

I'm not doing anything.

I thought you had your French midterm.

We covered the pluperfect at my last school.

"Pas de probl?me".

This way at least you get half of Joanith.

You're totally saving my butt.

So let's get to work, slacker.



Interested in a videography project?

It's a chance to document how you see the world.

Uh, fascinating, but no.

It may even fulfill some of that extracurricular stuff you're lacking, Joan.

Advertise your product or brand here
contact today

So, you work for public television now?

Mmm...I just volunteer.

Sometimes I work the phone banks.

How about it?

Look, you know everything.

You know my schedule.

I'm a junior in high school.

I only have time to pee on the weekends.

It's a very stressful time.

Sometimes, taking a step back,

seeing life through the lens lets you see things clearer.

Beats napping.

And...this is my mom.

Mom, say hi.

I burnt my toast.

Joan, will you please stop?

Mom, you look great today.

Are you wearing lipstick?

Don't you have to go to school?

You never wear lipstick.

Do you have a job interview or something?

Oh, wait, wait, wait.

Say that again.

Say that again.

Take 2.

Do you have a job interview or something?

For those of you in the audience
who are not watching in odour - rama,

mom is also wearing a very nice perfume today.

Now I know how Sean Penn feels.


Please stop yelling "cut."


Dad, I can't shoot you in that sweater.

Everyone will actually think that's what you're like.

It's my lucky sweater.

Kevin, we have a 7:30 tee time!

Today I'm gonna play like Tiger Woods...

when he played like Tiger Woods.

Oh, preppy retro.

That's working.

This is my brother--

Kevin Girardi.

Are we ready?

Look at him. He can't wait for me to kick his ass.

Well, you do remember we have to go over the Bakers' statements today?

Oh, dammit.


Kevin and I are playing golf.

I don't have to let the Bakers screw that up, too.


Ahh, I'm sorry.

Hey, you smell good.

Got a date?

I am just competing with your true love.

It takes effort.

Well, don't feel bad.

After golf, you are a very close second.

Let's go, duffer.

I thought you didn't have any free time.

I don't.


but I need the extracurricular stuff,

and I don't have to make time for this because it's supposed to be whatever happens...

you know, in the moment.

Hey, you're stressed.

I'm seeing it.

You will, too, when you look at this.

I--I can't talk to you like this.


Yes, you can.

Just act natural.

That's an oxymoron.

The minute you turn on a camera, you're distorting reality.

It's Heisenberg's uncertainty principle.

You sound like my brother.

Then I will

shut up ...

and I will walk away.

I'll catch you later. Ok?

No, no, no. No,


Adam, come on.

I was just trying to take a step backwards.

You know ?

To document us.

Just...forget the stress.

I'd love to.


All right. Ok.

So, now just look into the lens...

and just...

talk about us.

You know ?

What we mean to each other.


oh, come on!

It'll be like real world: London.

Not Vegas.

Vegas is so cheesy.

Jane, look, I'm really fried with all this work. Ok? And--

Hey, Joanith.

Say hi to your peeps.

What are you doing?

I'm videoing you videoing Adam.

It's a total post-modern Warhol thing.

I gotta get to class. Ok?

Judith, what are you doing?

I'm doing my piece on Joanith.

By shooting him... .

I'm focusing on...


I was just getting him to open up to me.

You scared him off!



Squabble not.

Why don't you just shoot some video of each other?

Friedman !

Ahh. Dammit!

Well... you made a nice chip shot on that last hole.

Then I 4-putted.

I'm usually a very good putter.

Even as a kid with miniature golf,

the windmill was never a problem.

Do you mind?

I'd like to continue to humiliate you...

take some focus off the fact that I'm Velcro?d to a golf cart.

Maybe you're just a little distracted today.

Nice Kev' !

Nice !

So, what is it really?

Hmm? Playin' with the boss?


Just more lawsuit crap.

I hoped this would...

take my mind off things.

You know about the case?

I had to ask for some time off when we met with the attorney.

Lucy has been very supportive.

I know how hard this must be for the whole family.

I actually might need some more time.

They say Andy is too unstable to travel,

and we have to go to them for the depositions.

Hmm. Come on!

It's a squeeze play.

The more you pay for incidentals,

the less money you have to fight the case.

You'd think the chair would be the only thing the jury needs to see.

I know you like your lawyer,

but you want payback, don't you?

You know Chuck Kroner?

I helped out coverin' a case of his.

Guy would sue his own mother.

Just use my name.

Can we just play some golf?


I just think these bastards should pay.

Anybody screws up a man's golf game...

that should be a capital offence.


Sorry I'm late.

I thought I had this...thing.

That was convincing.

What ?

The, uh, nervous stutter.

Closely related to lying.

Uh, ex-nun

I spent years around guilty Catholics.

Oh, well, you're wrong this time.

Yeah ?

Cause, um... usually I find that the initial stutter is a lead-up to the blurt-out...

you know, that thing that you think you can keep in, but...

you feel like it's gonna blow if you don't let it out?

Obviously I'm wrong, so,

why don't we just discuss your catechism and, uh, hope that that,

uh, cute guy over there thinks we're talkin' dirty

It's nothing.

I just got this call from this guy that I...used to know in college.


He was...

You know.


I don't.

Uh, by the way...

nice blurt-out.

Under 10 seconds.

Well, he was... the first guy that I w-was...


He's apparently this big artist now,

and...he, uh... called me up,

and we were gonna go...have coffee.

Are you gonna tell him?

Jeremy ?

Your husband.

Will Girardi.

the father of your children?

I assume?

It's...just coffee, and...

Men get so...

irrationally jealous.

Sounds kinda rational to me.'s been over 20 years.

I mean, for all I know, the guy is, uh...
fat or bald or gay... well, he isn?t...

not gay unless a lot has changed.

Wow...that was...

six completely different excuses all in one breath.

Um...aren't we supposed to be studying genesis?


Ahem! So, uh, you wanna start with, uh, Eve and the Snake?

It has 3 gigabytes memory. Ok?

As opposed to 1.5 of the--

you've been avoiding me.

Not successfully, it seems.

You said you were gonna tell me how things were goin'.

Very well for my mother.

She made it through 2 bottles of wine at dinner.

You keeping a journal?


But it's mostly free-form swearing.

I'm just not the journal type.

You gotta keep at it, grace.

Remember the 7 C?s for dealing with an alcoholic parent:

You can't control it.

You can't cure it.

You can't feel responsible.

That's not a "C."

The "C" is in the "can't."

And you know you want to change your life,

or else you wouldn't have gone to--

ohh, don't pretend like you know me.

You know ?

Just because you did some good little deed doesn't give you the right to get all up in my face.


I know how weird it is to be photographed,

so I thought I could make it a little easier if I just kinda...

you know, told you what to do.

How is that a documentary?

I'm supposed to document how I see things.

You're a part of that..

I want to show the world what kind of couple we are.

The world ?


Public television.

I know people aren't gonna be watching it,

but if I do good at this,

we could get free tote bags.

Look, now just walk towards me, and...

talk about all the things that you like about us.

Jane, I...

Ok, that's good, but with more feeling.

I can't do this.

This is totally fake.


All right.


I....get it.

Um... it's hard to be all poetic.

How 'bout we try some action?


I got it.

Come here.


I want you to just come running into the room, uh,

talking about how much...

you miss me, and then we'll kiss.

Ready ?


When I say "go," you run in.


But I--I don't usually run to you.

Adam, come on, work with me here, ok?

Look, just run in.

You don't even have to say anything.

Come kiss the camera like you're gonna kiss me.

Ready ?

And, go.

Come in.


I--I--I-- I don't want to be in the movie. Ok?

Can we just leave it at that, please?

Adam, how am I supposed to document the world if you're not in it?

Is this really how you see the world?

Like we're some fake couple?

It's just a video.

No, it's not!

It's not.

It's you trying to force us to become something that we're not.

Hey, I wanted you to be real,

but you didn't want to do that, either.

You want real?

I hate this!

I hate it!

Ok ?

I hate trying to pretend that we're some happy couple w-when we're so stressed out,

that we're miserable even when we're together!

Wow. I should've kept the cameras rolling for that, huh?

Look, Jane...

this is making me crazy.

I can't do this.

I gotta go to the design studio.

He freaked.

I mean, what's that all about?

Relationships don't work.

There's always someone who wants something
that the other person can't deliver.

Yeah, well, I'm just making a stupid video.

Well, maybe he wants one minute where he's not being spied on.

I mean, we're being watched all the time, Girardi.

1984 ring a bell?

Ok, I wasn't even born yet.

The book.

"Big brother is watching."

It's happened...

in--at ATM?s, out on the street,

in stores.

And don't even get me started on carnivore,

a big government computer the size of a football field,

that sifts through all of your phone conversations, all of your e-mails.

And you wonder why some people want to be left alone?


You seem a little militant even for a militant.

Are you ok ?

More questions!

See what I mean?

End of the world!

Uhhh... speaking of big brother...

now, this was definitely one of your worst ideas.

You didn't like what you saw.

No !

And it created even more stress!


just...take the camera back, ok ?

And let them run a documentary where the lions eat the antelopes,

because that would be the same as watching my life.

You've gotta look below the surface.

Sometimes what you see is just a mask for something much deeper.

I mean, the Italian neo-realist filmmakers found truth by--

shh! Save it...Ebert.

Just keep at it.

They want to use this for their fund-raiser drive.

Lost in thought...

Joan ponders her next move.

Ah, to shoot Judith as she records a life of chaos and confusion.

Where Joanith reigns supreme!

Hey, Judith, I--I got the mirrors.

You ready ?


Oh, hey, maybe I--I could help.

I thought you had to see the college counsellor again.

Well... can't you wait?

I'm behind.


I'll take care of him.

Hey! Wait up!


Ok, so the object moves because of the kinetic energy transferred to it from the potential energy created--

are you listening?



Extra credit.


I've spent the past 3 weeks memorizing hamlet for Judith.

I have half an act left, and she still thinks I'm a joke.


friend to friend...

it is an exceptionally absurd way to pursue a woman.

Poetry ?

Since when ?

Well, then I guess it's the incongruous coupling of poetry and... you.


I know what I look like.

"But love looks not with the eyes "but with the mind,

and therefore is winged cupid painted blind."

I really like her, dude.

Someday you'll know what I mean.

It's not about the dream of getting naked with her.

Not exclusively.

I just can't forget that kiss. You know?

And every now and then...

I get this look from her...

that's potential.

Couldn't stop now if I wanted to.

Like this.


So just break up the rest of the mirrors,

and--and don't make the pieces too small.

Uh--uh, wait.


There's an extra pair of safety glasses over there.

Come on.

Where's the fun if I can't get glass shards in my eye and sue the school?


Actually helping now.

Wait, wait.

D-don't cut too deep. Ok?

It just breaks apart.

Just so you know...

I'm the worst at art.

Joan was the one who was always making stuff at crazy camp.

Yeah, well, she's off on her video project, isn't she?

I'm sensing you're not a big ideography fan.

It's not just that.

Our lives have changed so much, you know.

We don't-- we don't connect. You know?

And I just feel so... guilty or...

pissed off or a million other things.

So every time you feel like you're losing her, you push her away even harder.

I love her.

You know?

I mean, you know, that's the last thing I want.

Mmm. The thing about Joan is...

no matter how many idiot projects she does or how much she drives you crazy...

she actually sticks around.

Even when you try to push her away.


Most people don't do that.

Most people just take off, drive away...

leave you standing there money,

no way to get home.

Hang onto her, Adam.

She saved my life this summer.

She already saved mine.

I know.

Then why can't I just see that?

I mean, that's all that matters.

Hey. Thanks again for yesterday.

My kid had a great time humiliating his old man.

And we got to play hooky.

I told 'em I was at the doctor's.

Meeting with an assistant D.A.

we're bad.

And I was thinkin' how good we were.

hey, uh, finally gonna make you wear that?

They wanted me in the whole get-up--

the holster, the badge...

the decoder ring.

But...all contracts are negotiable.

And I didn't want to let my job get in the way of my vanity

Could I see?

Good call, boss.

Look, I, uh...

I was just wondering.

That attorney you mentioned?

Chuck Kroner ?

I don't want to get in the middle of your business.

If you like your attorney, you should stay--


I appreciate it.

You said I could use your name?


Tell him I said hi.

I'm so sorry you have to go through all this crap

You don't deserve it.

Ahh, I just wish in the middle of all this mess something felt right.

It's war.

And that should never feel right.


Oh, Its you. I gotta clean out this cupboard.


Your junk.

Not helping.

I thought you'd be out with Adam and Judith.

Mom. Can I spend a little bit of quality time by myself?

Do I have to be around a million people all the time?


Are you ok?

Are you ?!

Listening to Peter Frampton ?

That's kinda pathetic.

According to "Behind the Music",

his career took a nosedive in 1978.

I was just cleaning out some junk.

You must've been so young then.

Bet you couldn't wait to grow up, huh?

Yeah. were picking up your head.

That's why you topped the ball.

I crushed my drive on 16.

Oh, too bad the fairway wasn't a little wider. Sunday...

you and me.

Yeah, you're on.

Look...I, uh...

I got Kroner's number from Lucy.

Oh. You know, uh...

mom will never agree to it.

Agree to what?

Uh...a new lawyer.

We...have a lawyer.

And Tom's a friend.


Well, we, uh...

were talking about the case today with Lucy, and--

Why do you discuss our business with her?

Hey, Helen...

I work with her.

Things come up.

You haven't mentioned it to your nun?

Well...I can trust her.

And Lucy's gonna blab it around the station?

I don't know.

Last week, she suggest blackmail.

She's trying to help!

This guy Kroner is a great litagator, mom.

I checked him out at the paper.

And why wouldn't we go into this as strong as possible?

So you two started all this without talking to me first?

Look... it isn't easy for any of us.

Well, apparently, going behind my back is!

And it's so easy for you to be forthcoming?

How long did it take for you to accept the fact that we even needed a law--

Stop !

Stop !

We were wrong. Ok?

We were, dad, but I-- I want to meet this guy, and I'd like it...

if we were all there.

I think it's really admirable that you want to talk, Grace.

Who said anything about talkin'?

You'd rather talk than make out?

I think you're the one that needs the help, Girardi.

No !

I'm not gonna let you use our make out time as a cudgel to avoid this issue.

See, this is why I don't talk to anyone.

'Cause now we're all about her.

That stupid fifth "c" is how the alcoholic is controlling my life.

Well, I'm not gonna let her. Ok?

She already is!

Look at us !

Only 'cause you can't get off it!


So, let me come over to your house, and we'll hang out.

This conversation is over.

Can't you see what you're letting her do to you?!

It's my space!

I made the choice!

Me !

I think you really believe that you're strong.

But you're more terrified than anyone I know.


Oh, yes.

Oh, you are a freakin' genius.

Man, it's like there's a million of us in there.

So cool.

You really think it's good?

Shut up.

You know it's great.

Jane !

Hey, come here.

Take a look.

I'm late.

I--I can't.

I'm late.

Jane ?

Where's the camera?

I can't.

I can't look at them anymore.

There's always something more to see, Joan.

Well, first thing we gotta do is work on the story.

The story ?

It's all in the statement.

Forget the statement.

It's too soft.

Who did precisely what, when, to who--

it's all a big "who cares"?

We need to paint a picture. Hmm?

The accident... was horrible.


Some drunken bastard turned you into a cripple.

We prefer the term "disabled."

Absolutely. Me, too.

My point being, we have to show how this guy ruined your life.

Kevin's made a good life for himself.

Really ?!

Is this what you expected?

Be honest.

Is this the life you'd hoped to live?

You wanna win this case?

We have to show them the pain, show the tears...

your mother... having to wash you...

the family destroyed.

And in the court, you will sit at the end of the table where every minute,

the jury can look over and they can see how that drunken bastard turned you into a cripple.


I've heard enough.

How dare you talk to us this way?

You're angry!

This is good!

I am gonna make the jury hate that kid as much as you hate me right now.

Ok, this is over.

Mom, it's spin, and it's a way for us to win.

This isn't a game where somebody wins.

Nobody's gonna win.


Now, maybe that's the way it's supposed to be,

because if this is somebody's fault,

then that means the accident could've been prevented...

we could've done something.

And then...

it wasn't just an act of God.

And it was.

It was an act of God.

And that's our school eagle.

At night, it comes alive and devours the "d" students!

No offence, Friedman, but the...

flowers make you look a little like...

a guy who carries flowers.

They're for you.

What Ophelia carried.

Daisies are for... faithfulness...

fennel, flattery, and rosemary for remembrance.

Hamlet only appeared to be mad. You know?

I'm sorry that I keep cancelling.

Well, you're very sweet, but I know how busy you are, too.

Yeah, it was simpler and freer.

Now there's just not a minute, is there?

Yeah. day, no responsibility, no disappointment.




That's good.

Angry grace.

Something I recognize.

How about a rant?

Identity chips that were secretly implanted at birth.

That's true.



How about, um...


Why don't you give me a little bit of that magic?

Come on !


Could you not?!

What's the biggie?

How about you leave a little bit of my life for me, ok?

Whoa! Somebody went out for meds.

Want to tell the world why you're so pissed off?

Just back the hell off!

What is your problem?

You and Adam !

That's my problem!

What are you talking about?

I--I was taking care of him.

More like jumped all over him.

I can't believe I ever thought you were a friend!

You are a cold, selfish--

Hey, lay off her, Jane.

Oh, I'm sorry!

You don't want her feelings getting hurt?

How touching!

You think I'd ever make a move on your boyfriend?

Did I miss something?

I saw you!

I have it on video!

You are such a psychopath!

Cut it out!

Joan, stop.

You're my best friend!

You just used me to steal a life because you don't have one!

I really thought you were different!

You think I'm just some selfish bitch?

Fine !

Why disappoint you?

What is going on .

That's enough. I will not tollerate fighting in my school.
You stop...Stop it !

I'm not takin' the heat for this one.

Yeah, she's a real angel...

of darkness.


Mr. Friedman has kindly supplied us with video evidence of the altercation.

For your protection.

Is this gonna happen during our lifetime?

Hey, Joanith, say hi to your peeps.


Every time you feel like you're losing her... you push her away even harder.

I love her

We're not here to watch a soap opera.

Hang onto her, Adam.

She saved my life this summer.

She already saved mine.

I know.

Why can't I just see that?

Uh, ms. Girardi

Please don?t

That's all that matters.

Any last requests, Ms. Girardi?

Speak, creep.

I like it

It's, uh...

it's a little... tidier than I thought it'd be.

I'm not tidy.

I just... thought you should be able to walk in here, that's all.

That's nice.


"Nice. Tidy."

Do you have a death wish?

Oh, dude!


The original beanie baby.

It was the first inflationary bubble of our lifetime.

My mom stood in line at 5:00 in the morning to get the second run.

It opened my eyes to the dangers of capitalism.

I have "pinchers."

The lobster?

Originally released under the name "punchers."

Retired in 1987, which briefly inflated the price to over $5,000.

A classic lesson that any economic system is subject to the whims of human emotion.

And easily exploited by the rapacious elite.

The cool calculation of science meets the heated imprecision of economic theory.

Grace !

I'm home!

I'll sneak out the window.



They never think somebody else is gonna have to clean it up.

Yeah, well, I'm that somebody else for a week.

Well, Price is tough. did go a little over the line, Joan.

You said to look below the surface.

I tried.

But I was wrong about everything.

Well, perceptions depends on how you see,

not just what you see.

You know, white light contains all the colours of the rainbow,

but you'd never know it unless you change the way you look at it.

They were hugging. Ok?

That's all I saw.

It just... hurt so much.

And it stopped you from seein' all the colours.

So there was no light.

There was just...

so much coming at me. You know?

I know.

Just make sure you take it all in.

Let yourself be dazzled, Joan.

Gimme a rag.

I'm off.

As long as you're goin' out, I thought I'd...

get rid of some of these bills.

I can do them later.

After today, you don't...

need to be any more depressed.

I shouldn't be late.

Oh, it's supposed to rain.

You should take an umbrella.


Hi. Uh...


I can't make it.


I--I know.

It W... would be nice.

But... the thing is, I...can't.

I don't want to.

You don't... have to understand.


Somethin' wrong?


I just...

I... I would just rather be home.



You can, uh, throw me out if you want. I'll understand.

No. I just... don't know how you could've thought what you did.

Well, it just... seemed like...

you were saying we were such a drag.

Things are changing so fast.

I--I didn't know who we were, and--and...

your having a video of that...

I don't know.

I couldn't handle it.

Are these all of you?

My mom and I used to take 'em all the time.

I haven't looked at 'em since she died.

I'll watch 'em with you.

Mommy, say hi to the camera.

Hi, honey.

Look what mommy's doin'.

I'm watering the strawberries and our beautiful flowers.

Here, give that to me.

I want to get a shot of my little artist

There he is..

Why don't you show me your pictures?

Which one's--

For you.

It's Mr. Lemonhead.

I see.

He is so beautiful.

I love you so much, baby.

I love you, too.

Adam, Come give mommy a kiss.

Can I get a picture of Adam and mommy?

What do you say?

Say hi.

What are you gonna show me now?

What's that?

Oh, that's the dinosaur.

And what's the dinosaur do?

He bites you.

Here, put it down.

Put it down on the ground.

Let me see what the dinosaur does.
Let me see the dinosaur walk.