Joan of Arcadia (2003–2005): Season 2, Episode 19 - Trial and Error - full transcript

Were there any witnesses
to the abduction?

The department will make an official
announcement later this afternoon.

- Do you have a description
of the killer?
- Not at this time.

Mrs. Hoyt, can you tell us
where your daughter was last seen

before she was abducted?

She was walking home
from third street elementary,

just like she's done 100 times before.

We only live a block away.

If there's anyone
who can help find who did this,

please, for my little girl...

please, please...


- Do you have any leads, detective?
- Were there any witnesses
to the abduction?

It's our anniversary.

April second. One year.

- You're kidding.
- No huh,

We kissed on my porch.

We kissed at the science fair
before that.

How did you retain that?

Yeah, it's not the same thing.
We were all, "should we or shouldn't we?"

for the longest time, and then,

that night on the porch,
we definitely took the plunge.

We should celebrate.

- Sure.
- Stop talking like this in public.

Are you saying that you don't remember
when we first became official?


I can't believe you remember
the day and everything.

My lips are an alarm clock.

Briiiing! One year.

History. French revolution.

Au revoir, babe.

Don't mark me, dude.

Biology closet, 2:15.

- Come on, lover boy.
We're late for Spanish.
- Ok, Ok.

- Oh, sorry.
- Oh, I'm sorry.

- I didn't...
- Oh, no. Well, you shouldn't be.

I startled you, so I'm the guilty party.

God feels guilt?

Such an interesting question.

Of all the life on earth,
only humans experience guilt.

Or innocence, for that matter.

Dogs don't. Birds don't. Fish don't.

- Huh...
- Ok, I got it.

You see, you're the only creatures
with a conscience.

The only ones able to distinguish
between right and wrong.

Recognizing it is the real problem,
though, isn't it?

Don't you love exploring
such a complex issue?

You should join mock trial.
They love talking about these things, too.

Mock trial?

Oh, yes. The legal system
affords you so many ways

to look at guilt and innocence.

You missed a few papers.
I don't want you to overlook anything.

How about one day
I get to ask you to do something?

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saison 2 - episode 19
"trial and error"

Ah, hey, look at this.

You actually showed.

I never thought I'd see you again.

I just needed some time
to think things over.

Green tea, please.

So, um, God's looking good to you again?

It's not that.

I just have things to deal with at home.
You know that.

So you just needed some time away
from the ever-present one.

How'd that go?

- Is all the gloating really necessary?
- No,

Just one of the perks.

You know, teaching the catechism
can get a little dull.

So, did you bring your notebook?

Thank you.

Now, huh, where were we?


Uh-huh. The sacrament of reconciliation...

conversion, repentance.

Whoa, first day back and already
I'm feeling like a bad person.

It's not about feeling bad.

Confession is a sacrament
that's used to celebrate

God's limitless capacity
to forgive. You know?

He knew we'd feel guilty all the time,

so he gave us a way to deal with it.

- Well, that' beautiful.
- And, um,

in the spirit of confession,

I should probably tell you
that Kevin and I are dating.

He's been too freaked out to tell you.



So, the key is the sacraments are
an outward sign of inner grace.

Is this weird for you?
It's weird for you.

No. No, no... it's terrific.

Because he... he's so cute...
and sensitive.

- I mean, he listens...
- Ok. All right.

Ab... absolutely.
L...let's just go back to confession.

Well, I'm not gonna tell you in details,
if that's what you mean.

Ok, um...confession.

Shut up. Why are you here?

Well, because we are creatures
with a conscience.

But you...?

Victim of the ruling class.

Hear ye, hear ye.

Mock trial is now in session.

I'm Mr. Harbison,

civics teacher and legal enthusiast.

He even has his own gavel.

This is gonna be ugly.

If he pulls out one of those giant wigs,
I'm out of here.

You're Polk.

Miss Hoder sent you
because you're failing history.

Not failing.

Refusing to answer questions
about our so-called justice system,

which everyone knows
is a corrupt capitalist farce.

E xcellent.
You'll be the defense attorney.

Wha... no.
I just want to do my time and leave.

Not without a fair trial.
Ha ha ha ha.

Mock trial was created
by the American bar association

in order to teach youngsters
how the court system works.

A hypothetical case is assigned,

using the time-tested structure
of a well-known fairy tale.

In this case, "Jack and the beanstalk".

Wait. We're trying Jack?

From Jack and the beanstalk?

For the murder of the giant.

I don't understand.
I mean, Jack obviously did it.

Any 5-year-old knows that.

It was self-defense, dude.
The giant was trying to eat him.

Jack broke in and stole stuff.

That's breaking and entering
and a murder one.

Am I hearing the sound of a prosecutor?

Oh, no. I...

sorry. I can't help myself.
My dad's a cop.

You'll need this.

- A basic approach to law.
- Oh.

You know, I really don't want to.

Welcome to mock trial, counselor.


- Detective Girardi?
- Yeah.

Yeah. I recognize you from the tv.

I'm James Karon.

Yes. The front desk said
you had some information

about the hoyt girl?

I killed her.

It was me.

I don't get it. I mean...

why would I kill a giant?

He had food.
You were oppressed... poor.

She roped you in?

You're gonna be Jack?

- I don't think I said yes.
- Oh...

you are so guilty.

She says I'm not responsible
for my actions.

- Right.
- Yeah.

My client was a working man

exploited by the interests
of the wealthy, i.e. one Mr. Giant.

Huh. You're actually getting into this.

I'm gonna prove law doesn't
apply to the common man,

and Hoder is going to regret the day
she sent me to mock trial.

See you in court councellor.

Hey, look.

Bonnie's got a new boyfriend.

Eww. How weird does he have to be?


So you're not gonna mind

if I tear you apart on the stand,
are you, my little felon?

I'm a victim.

Oh, hey, I know another place
we can go for... our anniversary.

- The Unurban? Remember that coffee shop
that exhibited your stuff?
- Oh, yeah,

sure. Wherever you want.

Oh, man, uh...

I'm supposed to be at work at 4:00.

I hope Michael's paying you overtime.

You've been working like crazy.

I have to pay my defense attorney.

I'll call you later, ok?

You're goin' down, Jack.

You're goin' down.

Come on!

You better prepare.

This trial could get personal, Joan.

Reality check.

Shouldn't God be able to remember
this is a fake trial about a fairy tale?

Symbols and metaphors
can stir up a lot of passion.

You know, wars have been waged
over what a flag represents.

Is this about Grace?

Because she doesn't even
believe in the legal system.

Oh. Am I supposed to let her win

to show her how important this all is?

Would it be right to let
a guilty person go free?

So I should wipe her out?

What was the murder weapon?

A knife.

I don't know how long it was.
8 inches, maybe.

Stainless steel.

You'll find it under the floorboards
in my kitchen

with the shirt I was wearing.

How many times did you stab her?

5, I think.

And where on her body
did you stab her?

- Look, do we have to talk about this?
- Yes.

Yes, we do.

In the stomach and the chest.

And once in the back.

That was the first time.

I didn't want to touch
her face. She was...

she was so pretty.

I saw that woman...

her mother, on tv.

I saw what I did to her. The...

the pain and suffering that I caused.

I just couldn't live with it anymore.

Hmm. Did you know that if
you admit you did something,

it's less of a crime than if you deny it?

I didn't know it was
the last piece of cheese. Kill me.


A guilty conscience always
rises to the surface.

I was actually talking
about mock trial. What...

- What is that?
- A dagwood.

A sandwich named for the husband
of the long-running comic strip blondie.

See, his constant hunger

- could only be satiated by making
a foot-tall sandwich.
- Ooh,

Grace was right.

Some things just should
not be remembered.

Look, when you're done
inhaling the entire deli section,

I'm gonna need your geek services

- in compiling some data.
- Sorry Joan,

I'm already serving
as legal advisor to the defense.

You're helping Grace?!

What happened to
"blood is thicker than water"?

Got trumped by make-out
sessions in the biology closet.

Well, that leaves you on the losing team.

Jack is totally guilty.

My question is can I up the charges?

Murder in the commission
of a felony carries LWOP

"life without parole".

Don't you think it's weird
that you're prosecuting your boyfriend?

- Can it, Sigmund.
- No, really.

This sounds like a classic case

of playing out latent feelings of

- resentment and aggression.
- Things are fine.

It's our anniversary.


But I know how weird
it was when you two...

went away for the night.

I don't think you should be
the one hosting loveline.

Your love life consists of making out
next to jars of pickled frogs.

Adam and I are fine.

You don't have to go.

My parents won't be home for a long time.

I think it'd be nice sometime to talk.

You know about Joan.

I didn't lie about anything. Ok?

Yeah, I know.

It's cool.

So, I tried to go to sleep,

but I just laid there thinking
about the case.

How you just have
to pay for what you did.

I mean, Mrs. Giant gave
you food, but you still...

- went back and stole from her.
- Jane.

you and Grace have to get a grip, ok?

It's not real.

Well, we'll be in court.

And then it will be personal.

Grace is going to see
that laws have a purpose.

Good luck. She's going at this like
she's bringing down Enron.

She's just justifying immoral behavior
because of a past injustice.

That's a society based on revenge, like...

before the magna carta.

- actually, it's in this book,
which is pretty cool...
- Excuse me.

Hey, watch it, moron!

Are you ok?

Yeah, sure. I'm fine.

Jane. An airbrush?


Anniversary present.

I was going to give it
to you on Friday night.

I've been saving up for this for months.

Well, I didn't want to have to watch you
drool in the art supply store anymore.

What's wrong?
You look like you're gonna hurl.

I thought you said we weren't
getting each other big presents.

I know, but you've been working so hard,

and I wanted you to have it.

Don't I get a hug?

Thanks for coming in, Mrs. Hoyt.

Have you caught him?

A man came in yesterday and confessed.

His story matches
the details of the crime.

The lab ran tests on his shirt
and the murder weapon.

They found blood and hair
that matches Melissa's.

Have you, uh... ever seen him before?

So just like that, it's over.

He's gonna be arraigned tomorrow.

So Melissa will get justice.

I guess that's all I can hope for...

knowing that he's been caught. I, uh...

I haven't been able
to let my little boy go to school.

You know, I mean I just kept thinking...

he was...

yeah. Maybe now.

Maybe now.

Thank you.

- Preparing the case, Joan?
- Oh !

- Yes. Does god want to sit second chair?
- Oh oh.

This one you're gonna have
to figure out for yourself.

Oh, well, there's a first.

I can't believe they're going for
self-defense. He so killed that guy.

Everyone has their own rationale
for why things happen.

Yeah, and sometimes things are
either wrong or right.

You said so yourself.


but figuring it out can be a real trial.

- Cute.
- Thanks.

You see, a trial is just
an outward representation

of what goes on inside people
all the time.

The moral debate: Am I good or bad?

How do I behave in this or that situation?

It's a state of examination
where hopefully, you find the truth.

Have I done something
that I don't know about?

I shouldn't bother you anymore,
you have a lot to do.

No. See, if you answer the question then

you're not bothering me.

Knock 'em dead, Matlock.

Matlock?! What are you, like a million?

Oh, that's right. You are.

Bless me, father, for I have sinned.

That sounds so old-school.

How long has it been
since your last confession?

Father Ken, is that you?


Oh, what a surprise. Is everything ok?

Oh, yeah. Um, I'm...

I'm back in catechism class, and, uh,

we're covering confessions,
so I though I'd do a field trip.


So, uh, how long has it been?

Um...I'm not sure of
the exact date, but...

Ford had just pardoned Nixon,
so I felt inspired.

I see. Well, welcome back. Um...

why don't we skip the Reagan
and the Clinton years,

and we'll start with
something more recent.

Sometimes I nap through
planning period at school...

a few times.

I'm sure God understands.

What else?


sometimes I give students A's

when they only deserve B's.

- That's about it. Thanks.
- Helen...

Ok, but, um,

can we do this somewhere else?
I feel like I'm in the exorcist.

Please state your name for the record.


My last name isn't beanstalk, is it?

No. Profession?


Why did your mother ask
you to sell your cow?

I can't do it, Grace.
I can't do this right now.

Are you gonna bail on me?


- Did your girlfriend get to you?
- No.

It's just...


I cheated on Joan.

Say something.

What? I mean what do you want from me?

It was just sex, a couple of times.

It didn't mean anything.

And you had to tell me this, why?

I don't know.

But I had to tell someone.

I figured you'd understand.

I mean, you're the one with
the whole view on relationships not being
possessive and everything.

So I'm supposed to tell you it's ok?


- Yeah... I know... I don't know...
- Look, dude,

don't drag me into this.

So you think people are supposed
to own each other?

It doesn't matter what I think.

It matters what you think
and what Girardi thinks,

and I think you know what that's gonna be.

I'm sorry, ok, but it's over.

It was Bonnie, and...

No, no, no. I don't want details.

You're not going to say anything, are you?


but thanks for putting me
in the middle of this.

I've missed this in my life.

So I've been overtaken by these angry,
negative feelings about

a certain ex-nun.

Anger can be very destructive.

What am I supposed to feel?

She's dating my son...

and it's weird, and it feels
wrong and awful,

and I hate it, and I want them to stop.

So you want to put
your happiness before theirs?

I want them both to be happy.

I do. Just not with each other.

Because your son could get hurt.

No, because...

I could lose Lily, and she's...

she's more than a teacher.
She's a friend.

A nasty, abrasive... honest
friend, and I need that.

And when their relationship
ends, and it will...

I have to take Kevin's side.

So what's that gonna do to our friendship?

Oh, god, I'm such a horrible person.
I feel...

so guilty.

Guilt is the spiritual equivalent
of physical pain,

and like pain, things go horribly
wrong when we ignore it.

I'm not ignoring it. I confessed.

So why don't I feel better?

It's not enough to just say it, Helen.

Confession only works
if it's accompanied by change.

How about a few "hail Mary's"?


I'll do a lot of them. 100.

- Hi.
- Hey.

I thought you were "special projecting".

No, no. I'm not doing that anymore.

Did something happen with Michael?


No, it's just finished.

Oh, well, that's great, right?


Because now we can spend
more time with each other.


Mmm. Wow.

You should finish special projects
more often.

Pop tarts?

Not exactly brain food.
Let me make you some eggs.

Oh, uh, no time.
I have to be in court this afternoon.

That sounds so cool, doesn't it?

As long as it's not Juvie.

No. Mock trial.

Jack is going down.

Tough going up against
a self-defense claim.

The giant was chasing Jack, right?

That's Jack's story.

Everyone takes his word for it
because the giant is this total mean,

scary ogre, but Jack
stole his golden goose.

Well, the family was hungry.

There are mitigating circumstances.

Jack's family is starving,

so he trades their only cow in
for 5 crummy beans?

Gimme a break.

Stupidity is not a crime.

Maybe he's not stupid.

Maybe he knows those beans
will take him to the giant's castle.

You're arguing it was premeditated.

If he was starving,
why didn't he harvest the beans?

I mean, why did he have
to climb that stalk instead?

Textbook breaking and entering.


He takes what he wants, kills the giant,

pleads self-defense.

Sweet young Jack is a stone cold killer.

- Nice job, counselor.
- Thank you.

You know, you can't take
anything at face value.

There's always something else going on.

That's mock trial handout 3-F.

Bye, dad.

So I... I called Spumoni,
and they don't take reservations,

but, I, uh, told the guy
in the back I'd pay him 10 bucks

- if he didn't bus the corner table for us.
- Oh,

That'll cost more than the whole dinner.

Well, I wanted to remember it
exactly how it was.

Like we were...

Stop fraternizing with the enemy, Rove.

I hope you're ready,

because the prosecution
is locked and loaded.

You don't know the real Jack.

Save it for the trial.

Ok, I found another legal precedent
for your defense,

if other fairy tales are admissible.

Good luck, dead man.

Your I.D. badge.

I don't even get a name?

You know who you are.

Please hang on to that.

Hmm. Bailiff God.

I figured that you would be
the judge or something.

Actually, I'd prefer
to stick to the sidelines,

maintain a sense of order.

You know, if I'm supposed to, um...

hold back for Grace's sake,
you should probably tell me now.

Otherwise, she's going down.

I would never ask you to compromise
what you believe to be right.

Sounds like there's a "but" in there.

These proceedings are about justice.

You know, it's a powerful force.

It has the power to reveal
the true nature of things,

as well as the value of innocence.

But he's guilty, right?

Hear ye, hear ye.
Mock trial is now in session.

We are happy to welcome a real superior court judge,

the honorable Patricia Claymore...

Who will be presiding.

Someone rob the good humor man?

Got it from my nephew's birthday.

Forgot he's lactose intolerant.
Want a piece?

Can't celebrate just yet.

I've been going over
all the evidence in the Hoyt case.

- Problem?
- No.

Blood splatters on the shirt,
fibers, murder weapon.

- It all adds up.
- I though that's what we were going for,

being cops and all.


Except the guy.

It was too easy,
him walking in like that.

First timer, suffers remorse,
turns himself in.

It happens.

He did everything but type up the report.

Can you stop eating for a minute?

Sorry. Was I eating?


I wanna send the knife back to the lab.

- Will, blood's a match.
- I know.

I want them to look at it again,

as if it's all we've got.


Mrs. Giant, I know this must be a very
difficult time for you right now, but

can you please tell us what happened when

Jack came to your house?

I let him in.

He said he was hungry,
so I gave him breakfast.

Eggs, bacon, toast, some juice.

Big meal.

Then what happened.

Um, after my husband came home
and went to take his nap,

Jack grabbed our golden goose
and ran out of the house.

My husband chased after him.

He loved that goose.

He just wanted it back.

This is about more than a pet goose.

This is about oppression.

History has shown that
the rapacious ruling class

will always exploit
the poor unless someone rises up.

Objection! She's making a speech, right?


Get off the soap box and
ask your question, counselor.

When Mr. Giant came home,
what did you ask Jack to do?


I told him to hide in the cupboard.

Hmm. Why?

My husband was a jealous man.

He had a temper!

So you were afraid that
he would kill Jack if he saw him.

Rebuttal, Ms. Girardi.

Yes, I just have one thing.

Mrs. Giant,

you said your husband was napping

when Jack snuck out of the cupboard. Um...

so when did Mr. Giant wake up?

When Jack was running out
with our golden goose.

It squawked.

So, if Jack hadn't stolen the goose,

he would've escaped without
ever waking up Mr. Giant, and

none of us would be here today,
isn't that correct?

Objection. Leading the witness.


Answer the question, Ma'am.

Absolutely. Yes.

Nice job, counselor, but wait
until my cross-examination.

You're toast, bean boy.

I don't know. Grace is on fire.

Law is such a joke.

You can manipulate it however you want.

Well, I can.

Well, there are still absolutes.

And there's such a thing
as innocence and guilt.

Says who?

Says very important people.

Can we talk?

I'm kind of busy.

Hi, Bonnie.

Are you, ok?

You can give me 2 minutes.

I think I deserve that.

What's going on?

What was that all about?


Um, I... well, I lost some of
her art supplies.

She's a freak.


Please return to the courtroom!

Court is back in session.

Your witness, Ms. Girardi.


Jack, I understand you...

sold your cow. Why?

It wasn't making milk anymore.

And what did you get for it?

Some magic beans.

I was hungry.

Is that why you...

climbed up to the giant's house?

Yeah, I was hungry.


Yeah, hungry. I...

I already said that.

So maybe it was your hunger
that diminished your mental capacity.

You weren't thinking clearly.

Yeah, that's right.

That would explain why you...

stole the goose from the giant, because

if you were thinking clearly,
you would have realized

how much you were risking
by going over there.


I guess.

But you needed to satisfy your hunger.

It's all you were thinking about, right?


But, um...

But, um...

Isn't she leading the witness?

Shouldn't you object or something?

You're lying.

It's not like that.

Mrs. Giant had just given
you a huge breakfast,

isn't that right?

- Yeah.
- So you weren't really hungry

when you stole
the giant's goose, were you?

You just took it because you wanted it.

That's the only reason, isn't it?

I'll rephrase the question.

Do you believe that just
because you want something,

that that means
it is ok for you to take it

no matter what the consequences are?

Answer the question!

I didn't think that far ahead.

Did you need to steal
the goose to survive,

or did you just want it?

I felt like I needed it.

You stole the goose, and you didn't care
who you hurt in the process, did you?


it wasn't like that.

Then what was it like?


Objection. Badgering the witness.

I'm done. The prosecution rests.

So, we ran a few tests on your knife.

The murder weapon?

Funny thing is, Mr. Karon,

the edge is clean.

If that knife would have done
what you say, it would've hit bone.

The edge would've shown
damage, even slight.

The knife you gave us was
the same as the murder weapon,

but it wasn't the murder weapon.

You worked for a temp
agency as a janitor.

We checked with them this morning.

March 29, you were assigned
to the coroner's office.

Isn't that correct?


The night Melissa Hoyt's body
was brought there.

You knew where all the wounds were,

how the body was found,

you had access to the hair
and the blood samples.

She looked so little,
lying there on that table.

And that room was so cold.

And I kept thinking to myself,
"there's somebody's baby."

And those people...

they just lost their child,
and all they wanted was an answer.

And I wanted to help them.

I lost my little girl.

One day, she just died.

Her heart stopped.

She was 3-years old.

No one could tell me why.

And I couldn't live with that.

I couldn't live with the fact
that I had no answer.

I left my house one day, and I just...

it just...

I never really did anything with my life.

You know, I just...

I just wanted to help these people.

I just wanted to give
them an answer, that's all.

I'm sorry.


The law is precise, Grace.
It has a mathematical construct

into which the moral variables must be placed.

- I mean, your idealism has no part in it.
- Zip it, dude.

Congratulations, Ms. Girardi.

Quite an achievement for a novice.

Thanks, feels good.


seems like everybody knows
something but me.

I'm definitely out of the loop here.

I think we should leave you two alone.

Yeah, I think so, too.

I always trusted you.

I am so sorry.

It didn't mean anything.

It was just a hook-up, and I thought
that's the way it would be.

I thought...

I just kept thinking that it...
that it could stay like that.

That it could just be about sex.


You had sex with Bonnie?

Because I wouldn't?

No. I don't know. I...

it kind of just happened, I mean...

I love you, Jane. I love you so much.

Nobody will ever be what you are to me,

and if I could take it back, then...

I understand why you don't
wanna have sex, ok?

But I... I just thought that with Bonnie...

Shut up.

I don't wanna hear it.

I don't wanna hear you try to convince
yourself that what you do was ok.

How long have you been lying to me?

I wanted to tell you.

And I just...

I just wanna get over this.

You don't understand.

We're not gonna get over this.

You gave her a...

a part of yourself...

because I wouldn't sleep with you?

But you had my heart, Adam.

And that's what you took with you
when you went to...

hook up with her.


No, we're done.

It's over.

You knew and you didn't tell me.
That's your idea of justice?

I don't interfere. You know that.

Yeah, well maybe free will
wasn't such a great idea.

I believed in him.

I know.

That's what makes it hurt so much.

- What did I do to deserve this?
- Nothing.

This isn't punishment, Joan.

It's simply part of being alive,

of being involved, of loving.


I'm not doing that anymore.
I'm never doing that again.

I know how painful this is.

But what you and Adam had
was beautiful, too.

And that was every bit as real as
the pain that you're feeling now.

You experienced how deeply
two people can be connected.

So what do I learn

when someone I trust
destroys all that, huh?

Maybe it was never real.

Maybe you're not even real, you know?

This whole morality thing,

right and wrong, it's all just junk.

We're all just animals,
taking what we want.

- Do you know what innocence is, Joan?
- You know, I don't want
a mock trial right now.

Well, it's more than an absence of guilt.

It's having faith that
there's goodness in the...

in the face of cruelty and pain.

Someplace, you still feel that way.

And that's me.

And I'll always be there.

Oh, honey.