Jep & Jessica: Growing the Dynasty (2016–2017): Season 2, Episode 12 - Toys R Gus - full transcript

I am ready
to get out of town, Jack!

Where we going?

Well, it's a new place we
haven't been before,

but it's a super sweet spot.

I ain't been camping
in a long time, man.

Yeah, I've been looking forward

to this for a long time.

A little peace and quiet
out in nature.

Man... man!
It's gonna be nice.

Yup.

This is gonna be cool y'all.



I am little surprised
Jep's taking us camping,

'cause he really not the
camping type, you know.

He's an RV man.

He is.

I want something to roast.

Mallow dogs.

Get back on the mallow dogs.

Woo!
I can't wait.

I'm not sure on the regulations

on starting fires,

I'm gonna be honest with yah.

Aw.

I mean what kind of camp ground

don't let you build fires.



That's a good question,
I don't know.

We're gonna start a fire.

Datgum right.

I'm just looking forward
to going camping.

Being outside.

Grilling hotdogs.

Grilling marshmallows.

There's nothing better
than a camp fire.

You just sit there like this.

Get that old smoky smell on you.

Even it's 80 degrees outside,

you still sit there like this.

You still gotta.
It's mandatory.

I know.
You gotta have it.

What are we doing?

We fishing, we hunting?

No.

It's not really a
place for that.

It's just for us to hang out,

and have some bonding time.

Me and my boys.

Well yeah.

We playing a game,

we playing Clue.

Well, I didn't bring Clue.

It's gonna be a good time,

I guarantee it's gonna be fun.

There ain't gonna be no noise.

Your blood pressure
drops as soon

as you get there.

I can't wait.

I will also say,

this is a popular place to camp.

And we might see other people.

Well that's fine.
That's fine.

I'm a social butterfly.
That's fine.

All right, boys, we're here.

Here where?

Why are we stopping here?

This is it, boys.

It's a joke.

Look at 'em, right there.

Look at what?

That's our fellow campers.

We're camping here?

Yes.

Are you kidding me?

I'm telling you,
it's going to be fun.

This is it, boys.

We made it.

What are these
people doing here?

That is a great question.

Exactly what we're doing here.

Camping?

Camping.

To get the new Nintendo
console that's awesome.

I was looking forward
to some peace and quiet.

This place is real quiet.

Explain this to me.

We're camping out here because

this awesome new
console is coming out.

It's got all these classic
games on it.

Does it got Clue on it?

I don't think so.

Well I don't want it then!

odwin, just get out
of the truck, dude.

Godwin, it's going to
be awesome.

You'll like it.
Come on.

He'll get put.

We're the only ones with a tent.

I know.

We're smarter than they are.

We're smart?

I wanna go play Clue.

Cause I feel kind of stupid.

No.

The best thing about
this deal is,

we're early enough to
get a good place in line.

Yeah.

Seems like a great thing.

I ain't doing it.

He'll come around.

I mean, I've seen videos of

people camping out
for a product.

But I just never figure
I'd be one.

Well that's why
I had to trick ya'll,

'cause I knew you wouldn't come.

Yeah.

We wouldn't of.

Y'all need to hurry up.

Come on y'all.

Hurry up?

What are you talking about?

Let's go.

I'm saying we're gonna miss

our place in line if we
don't hurry up

and get in line.

Hell, look at all
the people here.

This line will be
around the building.

Y'all are idiots.

No, you are.

I think everybody in
this parking

lot is an idiot.

Most people do this crap
on like Black Friday

and all that.

Then they end up getting
in fist fight

trying to get through a door.

I don't wanna do that.

Yup.

It's not gonna be like that.

I'm looking the crowd here-

Gamers are much nicer.

I'm pretty sure I could win
any fist fight we get into.

But they better not push me.

There's this really cool
invention that allows

you to get things,
it's called the Internet.

You don't have to
sleep outside anymore.

Idiot.

If you want it
right then, you do.

He's right are the idiot.

You're an idiot.
You're an idiot.

I didn't tell y'all this
before, but look,

you can actually
sell your consoles

and make tons of money.

How much money?

I'm talking about like
three, four, five

hundred dollars kind of money.

What does it cost us?

Sixty bucks.

People will buy this?

There will be people
buying as soon

as you post it.

Boom.
That's easy money.

Have you got food in there?

Yes.

Good food.
Stuff you love.

Meat.

He's interested.

Okay, I'm in.

Let's go camping, boys!

That's what I'm talking about.

Something's not right here, Ed.

What are y'all watching?

Conjuring.

Is this a scary movie?

Yup.
Yeah.

Better not be.

It is.

Lily, why would you
turn this on?

It was already on.

You know not to
watch scary movies

with River and Priscilla
in the room.

It's not that scary.

Yes, it is.

It's scary to them,
maybe not to you,

but to them it is.

River, stop picking your nose.

Nasty.

Change it.

But we can't.

Merritt.

We have to know the ending now.

Do want you River and Scilla

sleeping with you every night?

No.

I don't know why it's so hard

to get the kids in bed.

I mean, when I was young,

was it that hard
to get me in bed?

No.

Y'all are suppose to be upstairs

brushing your teeth anyway...

Daddy's not here, so I can't.

Yeah.

He's probably not
brushing his teeth.

He's camping.

That doesn t make
any sense at all.

What do you think
dad's breathe smells like?

Lily, that's irrevelant.

Y'all are gonna brush
your teeth.

Are you exhausted?

Cause I'm exhausted.

You know I'm exhausted.

You always wanna go
to bed by six o'clock.

Yeah.
I do.

I'm already exhausted when
I get home from work.

That's not normal.

Get up right now,
and go brush your teeth.

Or I'm gonna start docking
your allowance

when you have a cavity.

I don't care.

I can just get fake teeth.

Yeah.
Yup.

Hey Jess, you want me to go

ahead and put him to bed?

Memaw!

Yeah, go get Memaw,
get you into bed.

If he gets super fussy,

he probably just wants
his Fluffy Buns, okay.

Going to be at
a certain time every night

should be a given.
It should be easy.

That's the way Jep grew up.

Go to bed whenever you
wanna go to bed.

But you didn't.

I know, but...

he's leader of the house.

No.

Yeah.

Listen, y'all are gonna
brush your teeth-

I love this.

And you need to
turn off the scary movie.

You got me?

Fine.

Can I watch it later?

Whatever.

Jessica, I need you!

Okay.

Look, y'all need to turn
off this movie

and got to bed.

Or we could all watch it now

and we could all be happy.

Lily.

Jessica!

Did you give him
Mr. Fluffy Buns?

And I said to turn
this movie off.

They have to realize
that the monster

dies in the end.

Come on, Sweetie.

Let's try on more time.

Jessica, I need yah.

Gus, that's your fluffy bunny.

And Memaw's so tired-

That's not Fluffy Buns.

No, that's Frodo the Deer.

Fluffy Buns is a bunny.

Okay, look, how
about the big puppy?

You don't want the big puppy?

He likes it, but that's
not Fluffy Buns.

Okay, look, why don't you just

let him sleep with me tonight.

No, that's not a good idea.

You don't wanna start that.

Then it'll be a nightmare
to get him out of there.

I'm still sleeping
with River, okay.

I don't wanna start that
with him too.

Well do you think he'll
lay down without it?

No.

He has to have that bunny.

Well Jessica, where is it?

Buddy, where's your Fluffy Buns?

What you do with it?

I'm tired.

Just handle this,
and I gotta go get

the other kids to bed.

Well, what do I do?

I don't have the little
fluffy bunny.

Thanks.

Okay, baby.

Come on, we're gonna look.

Why are y'all still
watching this movie?

It's good-

River, you're not gonna
sleep in my bed.

Hey, let me smell your breathe.

It smells like old cheese.

Did you even brush
with toothpaste?

I did it with my hand.

Yeah, my nose hairs
are burning off.

Hey Jess, I can't find the

Fluffy Buns anywhere.

So can we just trade
places and maybe

you can find him.

Of course!
Yup.

Get them to bed.

Okay, I can do that.

Okay guys, come on,
let's go to bed.

What?

I said let's go to bed.

Mom said we could stay.

No.

I think it's time to go to bed.

It's late.

Come on, guys,

we really need to go
to bed, okay.

I'm tired.

I know you're tired too.

Not really.

Come on.

I do not have any more
patience left tonight.

So, right now, get up,

go to your bedrooms.

Night, night.
See you in the morning.

What's wrong?

I'm sorry.

Did he wake y'all up?

Yeah, but-

He's not gonna go to bed without

his Fluffy Buns.

For real?

I mean, he really likes
him that much?

Yeah.

He cuddles with it at night.

Mom, I'm tired.

I know, I'm sorry.
Me too.

I'm so tired.

You know what,

I'm just gonna call Jep.

That's fine.

Let me get my phone.

There's one.
Punch bug!

Good one, Godwin.

Hit a man with no arms.

That's terrible.

That's two for me.

I ain't got my
arms out, I can't play.

Oop.
That's Jessica.

That ain't my fault.

I'll be back.

Bye, Felicia.

Punch bug.
Stop it!

Hey, babe.
Hey, babe.

How's it going?

Well, not so good.

Gus is screaming his head off.

Well, what's the problem?

He needs
Mr. Fluffy Buns,

and I've looked
everywhere for him.

Mister who?

Mr. Fluffy Buns, babe.

Have you looked in his crib?

Really, babe?
His crib?

Of course I looked there.

That's the first place I looked.

Okay.

How are you getting
such good reception?

I don't know.

Is that traffic?

Uhm...
Yes.

That is traffic.

So I thought I told you
this but,

we're actually camping out
so I can get that

new awesome gaming
console I've been

talking about.

Are you serious?

Hand me one.

I'm gonna hit Jep
right in the back

of the head with it.

So you're camping
out in line waiting

on a video game launch?

Jess, this is not any game.

Get off the phone!

It's a console that has
thirty games on it.

How cool is that?

Kathy, you're a teacher, right?

What's six times five?

Don't answer him?

You don't know?

You want an answer?

Nah, hey, I thought you
were a teacher.

I thought you'd know the answer.

Jess, this thing has
30 games on it

That's irrelevant.

I don't care about the
number of video games

you're getting with this.

Hey, what's twenty plus ten?

Yeah, I got it.
30 video games.

What's fifteen plus fifteen?

Jep!

Stop throwing numbers at me.

It's got 30 games.

30.

Three-zero.

I got the numbers, all right.

It's hard having a baby upset.

It's a little bit easier
when you would be

there helping me out.

But I was camping...
with my friends.

I don't really call
that camping.

Well I can't believe I'm at home

with our screaming son,

and you're out buying
video games.

I didn't know he was gonna be

crying and all that stuff.

I love you.

I love you, I'm sorry,
and I was wrong.

Does that help?

That's even worse than camping.

True.

What do you know, Kathy?

I just know it does
not look normal

for thirty-something->> Thirty.

How old are you?
Thirty or forty?

He's thirty-eight.

Sitting on the couch
all day playing-

It's 30.

Video games.

I mean, that's just-

If you can think of
where you last

saw Mr. Fluffy Buns,

please give me a call back.

All right?

Okay.

I love you.

All right.

Bye.

What is it?

Jessica,
actin' like I didn't tell her,

I told her I was
coming to do this.

She just forgot.

Yeah.

Well, yeah.

Because that's logical.

You told her?

I never lie to my wife.

- Neither do I.
- I don't either.

But I lie to you,
'cause you lied to

me to get me here.

Well, that's
a new way to roast a weenie.

This is gonna take forever.

Boy, if we only had a camp fire.

Aw, it ain't bad.

Yeah.
There you go.

You think if we made s'mores,

we could sell 'em?

Yeah.

Or would they just
keep wanting s'more?

Good point.

See?

I knew you all were
gonna have fun.

Well of course we
can have fun when

food's involved.

Here.
Let me try one.

There you go, Godwin.

Put it out!

Yeah.

There you go.

That one's gonna be goof, watch.

So while we're getting ready to

tell ghost stories,

I need to explain to
y'all about line camping.

Some of these people,
hey can get crazy.

So you must respect
and adhere to the

rules of the line.

All right.

All right, rule number one:

once you're in line,
you or someone

from your party must
stay in line.

Rule number two:
There is no cutting in line,

or letting friends come
late to join you in line.

I don't think we have to
worry about any of

our friends coming here.

Look, other than that,

it's basically just like
regular camping.

Line camping is
a dog-eat-dog world.

You have to come prepared
for something to happen.

I'm saying you gotta
watch these people,

'cause they will
skip you if you go to

sleep or do something stupid.

If somebody tries to skip me,

they're gonna get the
business end of these things.

Well good.

Somebody tries to pass you,

that's exactly what you do.

You take that hot scolding rod

and you burn one of their faces.

Now that' a little rude.

And the good thing is,

the hospital is jus right there.

They're not very big dogs.

Yeah, but they'll bit you.

They're line campers,
they're vicious.

That's how line camping works.

You try to pass
and you don't have

the right to, you will get hurt.

I didn't bring my pistol.

You can't pull a gun
on these people.

That would be bad.

They'll stab you in
the back as soon

as you turn around.

Ain't nobody there
to help anybody out

but themselves.

I just wanna play Clue.

What are you doing now?

What are you doing, yeah?

Texting Jessica.

That's weird.

Gus can't find his
little Mister Fluffy Buns

or something like that.

Fluffy bunny!

Yeah, he's in truck.

I was using him as back support

when we drive over here.

How do you know
it's Mr. Fluffy Buns?

Well, he's got long ears,
he's fluffy,

and he's a bunny.

That's it!

Don't look like it once was.

It's gonna be bad.

Probably a little flat now.

Datgummit!
I think this is it.

Give it here.

I'm gonna put it behind my back.

No!
Chuck it here.

You're not sitting
on my baby's doll.

That thing was comfortable.

I may have to leave.

You ain't going nowhere.

You're the one that got us here.

Gus can't sleep.

Apparently it's because
of this stupid bunny.

All right, I'ma go.
I'll be back quick.

Hey, would you bring
us back some tater chips?

He gone.

Jessica, please just
let me sleep with him.

It doesn't hurt, he's a baby.

River is eight,

and he still sleeps with us.

You don't wanna start that.

I know a lot of kids
that slept with them

till they got to school.

Maybe junior high.

You're gonna let Gus
sleep with you

til he's in high school.

Might as well.

When he's seventeen years old

and he cuddles with you,

it's gonna be awkward.

All right.
I got him.

My goodness.

You had Mr. Fluffy Buns
the whole time?

Well Godwin was sitting on him.

I don't know that.

My goodness.

We were sitting here
listening to him

scream for hours,

and you were just sitting
there camping out

for your new video game.

Actually, thirty games, yeah.

That doesn't matter!

I'm sorry.

I'm here now.
I'm ready.

Video games.

Does it smell?

I don't know.

Jep Robertson.

She's fine, look.

You owe me.

I do.
I'll pay it back.

Okay.

I love you.

Good night, guys.

Here we go.

Hey baby.

Let's see if this works.

You want Mr. Fluffy Buns?

Fluffy Buns.

Aw.

Magic.

Quit crying.

Well, I saved the day.

Excuse me?

You saving the day,
that's not really

how I look at it.

Well that's what happened.

No.

So you're welcome.

He's going to sleep now.

You hear him?

He sounds like you.

He sounds like you!

You snore.

No, you-You snore!

You snore.

You snore and you know you do.

Jess, you sound like
freight train.

No.
Never.

Yes you do.
I've-I-

You sound like a
dump truck going through

a nitroglycerin plant.

That is just hateful.

Well, it's true.

You guys gotta use
your skills to

find stuff like that.

And this is somebody who's been

camping out all night
for a video game, right?

Look, just go back,

and do whatever you
nerd people do.

You sure?

Nerd camp.

30 games, baby.

30 games.

I love you.

You better leave
before I change my mind.

What?
What are they-

Hey dude, what-
what happened to the line?

The line going
this way was fire hazard,

so now it's going this way.

Y'all get up?
Hey!

Is it open?

No, it's not open.

It's still dark out here.

Why y'all go to sleep?

The line's moved.

We're tired.

I'm sleepy.

Y'all broke the rules, yup.

You have to stay awake
and in your spot.

We got half of it, right.

You know what happens now...

end of the line 'cause y'all
couldn't stay awake.

I went to sleep first.

Whatever.

We gotta go to the back.

We can just get back
where we was.

No, Godwin.

You snooze, you lose.

Y'all snoozed, and we losed.

Lost.

Lines move.

If you're gonna sleep when
you're line camping,

you sleep in shifts.

The people should've been
nice and woke us up

and said the line was moving.

No.
I told you.

Somebody has to stay awake.

Come on, let's get to camping.

Back of the line.

What do you back of the line?

They ain't gonna
let us in our spots.

They know where we were.

Dude, you watch.

Part of line camping,
people will betray you,

'cause they wanna skip ahead.

They wasn't very nice
about it either.

Hey, pipe down.

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

There's no honor
in line campers.

No.
Exactly.

I guarantee you.

There ain't a bit of it.

We were right there!

Walk of shame is what
y'all put us through.

Datgum, more people showed up.

Look what I got, boys.

This is is the good
stuff right here.

I see chocolate!

I see chocolate.

That makes me happy.

Are y'all still jacked?

I see bear claw.

Are y'all super jacked...
pumped?

There you go.

I'm fired up.

I'm ready to play
Duck Hunt again.

I'm just gonna try

a little bit of everything.

Yeah, I bet you are, Godwin.

We can play that Duck Hunt

on this thing, right?

I'm not sure.

But I know you can play
Mike Tyson's Punch Out,

and that's what I care about.

Mike Tyson's...

I wanna play Tecmo Bowl too.

Yeah.

Thank you for camping
out with us.

Doors will be opening
up in five minutes.

Five minutes!
All right, here we go.

Y'all get packed up.

We can't leave this
on the street.

♪ It's on like Donkey Kong

They got Donkey Kong?

Maybe.

So we got pushed back
in the line a little bit.

We are close now.

We're almost to the treasure.

To the finish line.

This is what it's
all about, guys.

All right, congrats, man.

He's not even old enough to

appreciate what he got.

One, Two-

Hey, what's up, dude?

Parker.

What's up?

What's up, man?

Hey, what's your gamer tag?

I know that guy.
He cleaned my house.

I'm talking about
thirty-classic-games,

that I grew up playing.

I can't wait to get my
hands on that sucker.

I'm just glad
we're not last in line.

I know.

All right guys,
it looks like I have

two registers open right now.

All right, for staying
the night with me

and toughing it out,

I'm gonna let y'all go first.

Thanks.

We get ours like
30 seconds before you,

I appreciate that.

Pretty cool.

That's awesome.
You're a good friend.

I'm going in.
We're going in.

Let's see what
all the big fuss is about.

Actually, I'm kind of
glad you tricked us

into to coming here.

Yeah.
Why?

For reconnecting with
our childhood.

Godwin, weren't you
like 30 when these

games come out?

He's a real life Peter Pan.

I ain't never growing up.

Dude, this is awesome.

Yeah, man.

Super pumped.

I've been having to
pee for like hours.

What was that?

All right everybody,

unfortunately we are sold out.

Ya'll come back next month,

and wait in line again.

Seriously?

I got this close.

Looky here.
No, don't look.

No, look!

You wanna smell it?

Look at it.

You're gonna give it to me?

What? No.
Hell no!

Come on, dude!

Look, I'll give you sixty bucks.

I'm keeping this thing.

Everybody in there
is fired up about it.

I know it.
I'll sell you mine.

You'll sell me yours?

350.

350?
Come on, Godwin.

Plus shipping and handling.

Godwin, come on, dude.

400.

There you go.
Get where you want it.

I'm not-I'm not-

450.

No.

500.

Get it where you want it.

I'm not haggling with you.

I'm just saying->> 600.

You can make it 10,000 dollars-

750, 750,750.
Come on, come on.

Whatever.

I'll let you come over
and play with me.

This was my idea.

That's what you get
for tricking your friends.