Jep & Jessica: Growing the Dynasty (2016–2017): Season 2, Episode 11 - Hire Learning - full transcript

Hey y'all listeners out there,

today we have Jep
and Jessica Robertson

on the show.

Thanks for having
us, Mountain Man.

Hey, thanks for having us.

We got a big announcement.

Yup.

You remember how we met?

Yes.

Y'all remember that?

How hot it was that day,



and y'alls air conditioner
broke down.

Yeah, it was a hot one.

Which reminds me-

Y'all had all them
people coming,

and y'all were relying
on me to get 'er done

in the nick of time.

We're so- We're so grateful.

We were really grateful.

No, I mean, we're super excited

about being here today cause

we have some big news share.

Yup.

So this Friday at 1pm, -

If y'all was ever gonna be DJs,



y'all know what your
DJ names might be?

It would be
DJ Lemme-Get-A-Word-In.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying?

It's kind of long,

but you could probably
get it out there.

Yeah, well, yeah.

Makes a lot of sense though.

Yeah, yeah.

Coming on Mountain Man's show

to actually announce the
launch of our food truck,

was probably the worst
idea we've had, isn't it?

Yeah.
Not real smart.

I'd be like DJ Shut-It-Down!

DJ Let's-Get-This-Rocken'.

DJ Mountain Man-Stop-Talkin'.

That's a good name.
I like that one.

Okay, yeah.
Pretty good.

Mountain Man's show is
like "The Never Ending Story."

He starts telling a story,
and then that reminds

him of another story,

which reminds him
of another story.

Which reminds me, we should've

never done the
Mountain Man Show.

Yeah. Bad call.

I'm already DJ Mountain Man,

y'all can't have
that handle, but-

I'd be like DJ Can-We-Make-

Our-Big-Announcement.

Sure you can!

All right!
All right.

What are y'all here for?

So, at 1pm this Friday

at Miss Kay's Sweet and Eats,

we are gonna have a soft
launch of our food truck.

We got a food truck.
Woo-hoo.

And we're gonna
give away free samples...

Free samples!

And be sure to bring
your resumé,

'cause we are looking
to hire people.

Resumé!

You know that's a French Word.

Really?

Actually, Leonardo da Vinci

he was kind of the one
that created the word.

But anyway, we hope to see

you at one o'clock.

Yup.
One o'clock.

Free samples!

Back in the 1400s-

See you there.

When all this occurred.
Thank you.

Ya'll know the
story of the resumé now.

Bye.

So, how many pies do you

think we need to make to test?

I don't know,
but I think we need

to hire about 20 people.

Jep, we do not need 20 people-

Yeah we do!

No, not at first.
We're gonna working this.

Jess, this is going
to be a global empire.

You gotta start it off right.

After a lot of debate
on what to cook

on the food truck,
we decided to go with

one Jep's specialties...
potpies.

All different potpies.

Chicken, veggie, beef,
crawfish potpie-

Mexican potpie.

You can duck potpie.
Rabbit potpie.

Alligator potpie.

Gator potpie.

Here's the thing,

when you wrap something
in pie crust...

You can put anything in
there and it's good.

That's two thumbs up.

Hey.

Y'all look at me.

Y'all know anything
about business.

Not really.
Not really.

Yeah, you work hard-

No, you don't work hard.

You get somebody to
work hard for you,

and you sit at home...
make money.

So we don't work at all?

That's where you end up.

CEO.

You just sit back and chill.

Jep.

I'm gonna be the SBC.

That is not good business sense.

Yeah it is.

Knock, knock.

Hey!

Jep.

Hey, what's up?

How goes it?

Good.

I could smell this
up the street.

It's your favorite,
chicken potpies.

It's my favorite, I love it.

So you heard about
what we're doing

with the girls?

What are you doing?

We're gonna be house sitting.

Really?

I don't know if they're
ready for that.

I thin-

Are you ready?

Yeah.

Y'all can do it.

Are you sure?

That's easy money.

Yeah.
We're ready.

Well, I don't know if
it's that easy.

I brought my

"House Sitting Protocol" manual.

We have a few things
laid out here.

You have a manual?

Yeah.

And you remember the rules?

Remember we talked about those?

That's actually de-

You have it laminated?
Yeah.

Well you don't wanna
get anything on there.

Uhm...
The mail, the newspapers;

I want everything in
chronological order

as they came in.

Remember we talked about that?

House sitting for you
Al sounds like prison.

And the most important,

you remember what it was Lily?

The plant.

The plant.
It's not just a plant though.

It's a Nordic Evergreen.

And I've been nursing it
since it was just

a small little root.

So remember we talked
about the watering system,

we talked about the
soil management.

Yeah, it's a tree, we get it.

Yeah.

You just put water on it.

It's not just a tree.

In fact!

We have to call him by his name.

You remember what
it was, Merritt?

Bjorn...
Bjorn...

Lothbrook.

That's a pretty cool name.

It's just a plant.

All right, so I'm gonna
leave this with you Lily

because you're the oldest.

So you'll start soon
as we leave out.

You ready?

Yes, sir.

All right.

Merritt?

You gon' be number two?

Yes.

All right, good.

Everybody needs a number two.

All right, so we'll see
you when we get back.

Thanks, Al!
Bye.

Dumbest crap I've ever heard.

And everybody thinks
he's the normal brother.

It's ridiculous.
Naming a tree?

Yeah, take care of Bjorn.

Hi, guys.

Would y'all like to
try a free sample?

There's the chicken.

Veggie.

Yes.

Alrighty, I just wanna say,

hey, thanks for coming out.

It's quite a few of
y'all turned out,

more than I expected actually.

Uhm...
Enjoy the pies,

and we'll start interviewing.

I'll start I guess with
the sharp dressed man.

The day has finally arrived.

We re have a little
soft launch at my

mom's sweet shop.

And we may be hiring somebody,

or we may be not.

I'm glad you took this
seriously and wore suit.

These other people,
I don't know.

Thank you.

I'm an acting student.

Really?

So I've done this many times.

Okay.

I can drive trucks, tanks, cars,

four-wheelers, boats.

Do you like to cook?

Sometimes,

but it usually doesn't
come out very well.

So you got an MBA from Yale

and you wanna work
on my food truck.

I thought this
was an interview for

Mountain Man's radio show...

It's hard to find good
people that'll work for you,

and at this point,

we're kind of running
out of options.

I've got a recipe,

macaroni and cheese and bologna.

Call it Macalogna.

I have to say something.

That Airstream...
is amazing.

Sick, right?

You realize out here
you could live in that.

Do you actually know
how to cook,

or are you gonna pretend
you know how to cook?

Like, you know this is for real.

Well, I've done on stage,

so I'm sure I can pick it up.

You have any policies
against like...

piercing.

Piercings?

You ever heard
that song "Hit The Road Jack?"

Well, yes sir, I have.

All right, man,
it was nice meeting you.

Yeah.

We meet a lot of people.

Yeah.

Real nice folks.

Will we hire them?
Probably not.

There's Willie.

Hey.

Sup, dude.
You need a job?

Sit down, you wanna interview?

What are you doing?

We're maybe hiring somebody.

What are you doing here?

It's Friday.

Cinnamon roll Friday.

I always get cinnamon
rolls on Friday.

You do?

Who are you hiring?

Are you just getting
random people?

Well we just-

With resumés?

I mean, we went on the

Mountain Man show
and like advertised for it.

What-What's so funny?

You-You're doing it all wrong.

You don't take resumés
and hire people like that.

Why?

Hire people you know.

Hire your family, friends.

That's what we did.

That way you don't have
to do background checks,

if they're weird,

you already know what you got.

This is true.

Worked for us.

Looking at back on it,
it's probably...

would've been a good idea.

Whose pie is that?

- That's my lunch.
- Lunch.

I'm hungry.

What is it?

I think it's a beef pie.

We do chicken, beef,
and veggie right now.

But then we're like
gonna expand.

That's actually mine.

What are you-Wait.

First rule of business.

I gave you advice,

I'm taking this pie, all right.

Now hopefully it
won't mess up my

appetite for my honey buns.

All right well.

I think he's right though.

We should just hire
family and friends.

He's totally right.

Yes.

Ready?

Yeah.

Hey what are y'all doing?

We're trying to throw
the popcorn really high

and then land it in our mouth.

It looks like you're
making a big mess.

You know you're gonna
pick that up, right?

Yes, ma'am.
Yes, ma'am.

Okay.

All right look, aren't y'all
going to Allan's?

Isn't he paying y'all
to do some things?

Yeah, we're doing it later.

Yeah.
This is really important.

Like what?

Throwing popcorn at each other.

Seriously, Merritt?

Sort of.

No.

Y'all need to get up
and go do the job.

He is paying y'all
ten dollars each, right?

Okay, so, y'all better be
getting up and going.

Hey Merritt,
I thin I have an idea.

After hearing dad talk
about how he's just

gonna hire people
and rake in the cash,

that gave me the idea.

Why can't we just
hire somebody to do

Uncle Alan's sitting.

Priscilla, River!

Do you want some popcorn?

Unfortunately for us,
the only two people

we can hire is a 10 year old
and an 8 year old.

You need to do everything
in this manual.

It's pretty simple.

And you're gonne be
earning two dollars.

And you know-

Two dollars?

Five.

Three.

Fine.

I mean, we're just
doing what dad said.

Business is simple.

Hire people to work for you,

and you get paid.

Simple.

It's called outsourcing people.

Okay guys,

so make sure to don't
jump on the couch.

Do not do that.

No throwing toys.

And do not say rude words.

To who?

Yourselves.

I don't know.

And the plant.

You gotta be nice
to the nice plant.

We have to be nice
to a stupid plant?

Now y'all need to go.

Cause you're getting
paid to do your job,

so do it.

Five dollars.

Okay go.
It's three.

Five.

Make sure y'all read the manual.

We should've asked
for more money.

Merritt...

looks like we got
our own business.

Now we just need more customers.

What are they doing over there?

Y'all come in here.

When do we eat?

Yeah.

Get 'em lined up, Jess.

All right, come on, guys.

Why is the oven on?

You hit the kill switch.

Martin, Godwin,
y'all get top the window.

Come on, hurry.

Hold on.

This thing's neat.

Watch it.

Look...
stop playing around.

Hey, no, no, no.

You can't cross like that.

You can't take orders
from back there.

You gotta come over
here and let me

show you the process.

Can I put my initials on these?

Listen?

What do you want?

First thing's first.

You're gonna come here,

you're gonna take the order.

Yer Mom 'N 'Em, Yer Dad 'N 'Em,

or Yer Maw 'N Law.

Why you keep talkin'
about my relatives?

Listen.

One's chicken,
one's beef, one's veggie.

I don't even know
what we're selling.

We took Willie's advice
to hire some family

and friends to help us out.

So now we're gonna have to
train Martin and Godwin.

All right, are y'all ready?

- All right.
- We're ready.

All right,
I want one Dad 'N 'Em.

But the Mom 'N 'Em's way better.

Customer is always right.

You can't argue
with the customer.

Here you go, Godwin.

All right.

That's not cooked pie, guys.

Y'all giving him an
uncooked pie.

Get a cooked pie.

It's got a "C" on it.

It's this rack.

You said everything in
here was cooked.

No I did not.

It's an imaginary cooked.

No.

Willie's really good
at business,

but this advise about
hiring family and friends...

I'm not sure if this
is gonna pay off.

This box is broke.

It's not broke.

Wait.

I gotta put the
sticker on there!

Here.
One Yer Mom 'N 'Em.

All right.
All right, good.

That's open 'cause
you wanna eat it.

And it's so hot,
it needs to air.

You done sloshed it all out too!

Look at this napkin.
Gross!

Here, give me a sec.

We'll take it back.

Epic fail.

Thos are the kind
of people you wanna

see walking up to the
food truck...

with money in hand.

They shouldn't be
working it, just-

Saying,
"I'll take two."

Yes.

Y'all have failed
miserably so far, all right.

You're too demanding.

No-

It's a simple order.

That's all you gotta do.

We'll try out with
some other customers.

Lily.
Merritt.

Perfection takes time.

These stickers look too similar.

All right, maybe you
can serve kids

better than you can adults.

What do you want us to do?

Step right up!
Get your pies!

Go and order.
I know you're hungry.

- Hello, ladies!
- How can we help you?

Can I get a Yer Mom 'N 'Em.

Yer Mom 'N 'Em!

Get two of those.

- Yer Mom 'N 'Ems.
- Two... Yer-

Why is he yelling?

What are y'all doing, girls?

What are you doing?

Uhm...
Since we're house sitting...

We're passing out flyers.

- For what?
- Really?

Cause house sitting
is going really

well with Uncle Allan,
so we're just going-

Yeah, yeah.

Starting a little business?

We're just going around
the neighborhood.

That's smart idea.
That's good thinking.

Was it the top ones,
or the bottom ones?

The ones with the "C" on it.

The "C"?

They want two of them, Godwin.

How much longer?

Yeah, how about them pies?

Good grief.

Yeah.
We need to leave.

No.
Hold on.

We're almost ready.

We gotta go.

No!

Hey, where you going?

Bye.
Bye, mom.

Love you.

That's twenty dollars
you just cost me.

Thank you.

Stay together.

Hey.

I got this one cooked
and they left.

Can I have it?

Well might as well.

You got your hands all over it.

You're breathing all over it.

I can have it?

I guess.

Yeah, go ahead.

Sorry, babe.
This was a bad idea.

Yeah.

All we need is more customers,

more business, more money,

more work for River and Scilla.

Exactly.

Hey, girls.

Hey.
Hi, Mr. Randy.

What y'all got going today?

What a fun treat to
see you girls this morning.

What's up?

How are you doing?

We're starting a new
house sitting business.

That's is pretty cool.

First of all,
I'm proud of y'all.

What do you do for
a house sitting service?

We do a lot.

We pet sit.

We specialize in some plants.

Really?

The most important
for me right now,

is the pool.

And there's like a ton
of leaves in it.

What if I were gone
for like a month?

And every now and then there's

like a frog in there.

We could do that too.

And we also organize mail
in carmacological order?

I probably said that wrong.

I think you did.

Do you have a contract?

Are you a member of some type of

housesitting association?

Do you have insurance?
Are you an LLC?

Are you registered
with the the HOA?

Uhm...
I don't think so.

What do you charge?

Usually just ten dollars each.

You might think about that.

Well I'll check with
Jonelle and see

what she thinks,
and we'll let you know.

We'll look at it.
Thank you.

When I start planning a trip,

I'll give you a call.

Yes, ma'am.

Good.

Hey, Aunt Korie.

Well hey, girls.
What are y'all up to?

We're starting a new
housesitting business,

and we're trying to
get more customers.

You're starting your
own business?

Yes, ma'am.

Yeah.
I'm so proud of y'all.

We know that you go
out of town a lot, so.

Well, you know we have
a new puppy and-

Yeah.

He kind of has
a lot of accidents,

will you clean it up, like-

Yup.
We even bag it too.

You bag it?

Yeah.
Yeah.

Wow.
That's good.

I'm really impressed.

"You'll receive excellent
housesitting services-"

There's a little asterisk.

What-Okay.

What does the asterisk mean?

"By us or one of
our representatives."

Y'all have representatives?

We're a family business.

You're a family business?

You can trust us.

Okay.
Okay.

Well, I will be sure
to contact y'all.

Okay.
Bye, Korie.

All right.
Thanks a lot.

Bye.

Bye.

I'm not cleaning up any poop.

That's River's job.

Yup.

I mean, they're earning
money too, so.

God.

Look at this mess, Jess.

What are y'all doing?

Why are y'all eating?

Hungry.

Part of working on
food trucks is clean up.

I got to know how they taste.

We did clean up.

No, you didn't clean up.

Some.
Yeah we did.

We straightened it.

It's a mess in here.

Well, we worked on it till we...

till we got hungry.

We'll get it.

These things are good.

They didn't even work.

Yeah I know they're good.

Jess...

I don't think it's
gonna work out.

You're gonna have to
go fire them.

I can't fire them.

I don't want them to hate me.

Well I don't want them
to hate me.

They're my friends.

You put too much
pepper in this one.

No.
That's perfect.

Get worked up.

I'm sorry.
I'm just-

You want me to slap you?

[chuckling

What are y'all doing?

Eating.

Hey, you boys need
to come back to work.

What are you doing?

What's up, dude?

You got a customer.

What are you doing here?

I ain't here to buy nothing.

I'm here to retrieve
my employees.

Well, you told us to
hire friends and family.

I didn't say hire my employees.

Hire your own friends
and family.

All of our friends and family,

they work for you.

Yeah, that's true.

So...

Y'all need some more
friends and family.

Well, we have five kids.

We started to try and
expand the family.

Well, I need you two
back at work.

Well, I hate it guys,

but you gotta do what
the boss says.

Sorry.
Yup.

What?

Come on, let's go.

Y'all gott go.

You can take your pie with you.

Y'all had a future too.
Man, I hate it.

We'll come up to
Duck Commander next time,

y'all can buy the pies.

I'm gonna take this.

We still get free pies though?

I'm taking this pie.

No.

We'll give you a discount.

Discount?!

Friends and family discount.

Sorry, we're closed, guys.

See you later.

We love y'all.
See you later.

Bye.
Bye.

We gotta go.

You gotta go with the boss.

Sorry.

This is a rip off.

We ain't got time for this.

Well, that worked out perfect.

God!
That saved the day.

- They gone.
- Whoop-whoop.

Kathy, I'm telling you.

You need to quit your job,

and you come work for me and run

this food truck.

You love to cook, mom.

We've already talked-

I know I love to cook,

and I wish I could,
but I've already

explained it to you.

I'm close to retirement,
and how am I gonna

pay my insurance
if I quit my job?

Okay.

Blah-blah...
blah.

Excuse me.

Knock, knock.

Hey!
Look who's here.

How are y'all?

Good.

What's on the tap for supper?

A bunch of half
eaten sandwiches.

This doesn t look
as good as when I left.

So Al,

how'd the kids do
with the house?

Ooh.

Houston we have a problem.

What?

No.
What?

I thought I knew.
I doubt it.

Yeah.

While I was bringing
their money down,

but you guys gotta see this.

The ol' nanny-cam
comes in handy.

Nanny-cam.

You have a nanny-cam.

Now see what-
See this right here?

Priscilla, what-
What are you doing there?

Is that River?

Yeah.

That's River and Scilla.

Not Lily and Merritt.

So apparently there was
some subletting going on.

And look, clear violation.

Rule #22 on the sheet.

Refrigerator door open
for more than 5 seconds.

Girls.

Look, there's more.

Wait a minute.
Check this out.

Boy.

Butt on the counter?

That's a clear violation.

That's not working, Lily.

That's not working.

Check this though.
This is the most egregious.

Priscilla!

I'm watering the plant.

First of all,
it was right out of the tap.

It wasn't chilled at 38 degrees,

which is clearly in the manual.

I think they may have
murdered Bjorn Lothbrook.

Well, do y'all feel
ashamed at all?

Well it's their faults!

What?

Nah.
You hired.

Yes, but then daddy said to hire

people to do your work.

Jep!

Lily.

You're not ready to be a CEO.

Come on now.

But I do appreciate
your ambition.

Very good.

Thank you.

I'm super proud that
Lily and Merritt

are starting to kind
of get business,

but you cannot hire
an 8 and 10 year old

to do your job.

Babe, they got the
idea from you.

I never said anything
about breaking

child labor laws.

They don't even
know what that is.

Anyway.

It does give me a good idea.

We could hire y'all.

What about that?

On the food truck?

Yeah.

All right.
Sounds good.

But you cannot
hire somebody else.

If you hire somebody else,

you're gonna get grounded, so.

Kathy, you're out.

All right.
She gone.

Hiring Lily and Merritt
for the food truck,

is a win, win.

Yeah. They get to learn
about business,

and we get to hire family.

Plus they're our kids,

so we can make
'em work for as long

as we want, and for no pay.

I don't think it
works that way, babe.

Yeah.
It does.

Well, even though

you may not get another call,

I'm a man of my word.

So there's your pay.

There you go.

Thank you.

Y'all gonna have to split
it with them I guess.

Yup, you're gonna
have to give five dollars.

No.

Yeah.

You we said three.

Five.>> F

Ooh, she's renegotiating on you.

That's a good tactic, Scill.

Sorry, we shook on it, so.

Yeah, but did you
spit and shake hands,

or you just shake hands?

She just shaked hands,

so it doesn't count.

Didn't spit, doesn't count.

What?

Ooh, Scill got her money.

She snatched it!

Give me that money.