Jep & Jessica: Growing the Dynasty (2016–2017): Season 2, Episode 1 - Maid to Order - full transcript

Okay, here we go.

It's a boss!

Get 'em.

Get 'em in the head.

Yup.

You gotta go for the head.

Dead.

You dead.

Hey.

Like I'm telling you,

you have to land
the killing blows



to the head.

You have to sever it.

Babe.

Hey.

This game is way
too violent for him.

What are you talking about?

When it comes to video games,

I would say...

you are my biggest hurdle.

What?

I am very supportive.

I don't like him
playing these kind of games.

Jess, it's pretend.

When I walk into the house,



and all I hear is,

"River, cut off their heads,"

it doesn't really give me
a warm feeling inside.

I did not say cut off their-

I said chop his head off.

It's a totally different thing.

That's much better.

Chop his head off.

Gotta go for the head.

Babe.

Yes.

That's too violent.

All right, well you'll have to

just watch me play, buddy.

Babe, no.

Now let's go look
for a real monster.

What...
was that?

River, go see what's
going on out there.

Jep.

His seven.

Don't send him out there.

All right.

Silly.

What in the world
is going out here?

Hey.

Hey.

Hey mom.

What are you doing here?

Well, some of your
stuff was in my storage,

I'm moving it up here.

It's my stuff?

Well, yeah.

Jep's stuff, see?

All right.

Phil made me get it out of one

of the storage buildings
cause he needed

to put some stuff in there.

All right, buddy, let's see-

I wanna stack-Well, no.

You don't need to
look at all-you know.

It's my stuff.

I wanna look at my stuff.

Well, let's look at it later.

Mom, this ain't mine.

Is this yours?

Yeah, you laid on that, I think.

Somebody did when
they were little.

Seriously, mom?

This-love?

What?
That's not mine.

Your picture was in there.

None of this is my stuff.

Yeah it is.

It has Jep's stuff on it, see?

I'd say my mom has
a severe hoarding problem.

Yeah, I know.

But I don't collect trash.

My stuff is collectibles.

Nope.

It's mostly just trash.

Remember when you
wore that that time

you was bein a Elvis?

No.

Remember when you
had this opossum?

With a rope tied around 'em?

Well, I -

What did you do with all my old

gaming systems,
is what I wanna know?

Somebody stole 'em.

Remember your money collection?

I don't know.

Remember we did a play one time?

No.

I want my sea shell collection.

Where's that at?

I don't remember that.

I had everything going
back to an Atari.

I don't like all
your gaming stuff,

so I'm sorry.

I mean, I still love you.

Thank you, mama.

You really do have a problem.

I know.

Well, so do you.
We all have problems.

Everybody in life has problems.

Here.

Well at least here's a T-shirt.

What is this?

Mom.

Do you remember this?

Yeah, the food truck.

The Boudin truck.

Why did you get rid of that?

Well, probably because
I didn't have enough help.

It smells like trash in here.

You smell like trash.

I always wanted
to a do food truck

to be honest with you.

Now you tell.

Well, I always wanted to then,

you never asked me.

That food truck was
such cool thing.

It was cool!

But I mean, my bones were
tired, Jep.

Well my bones ain't tired.

Really?!

So basically you want me to keep

your stuff here.

Yeah, just for a little while.

I don't know where I'm gonna put

all this crap.

Whatever, just drag it.

Look at that strong man.

All right.

Good job, buddy.

We'll see you later, mom.

Peace out.

See yah.

Gus, do you
wanna look at a book.

You can play with this book.

All right, River.

I know!

The animals.
Baby zoo animals.

[honking outside.

What in the world?

Dad's home.

Come here, Gus.

Do you wanna go see daddy?

Hey!

What?!

Surprise!

Surprise?

Like, you-

# I got a food truck #
# I got a food truck #

Can we play in it?

Jep, seriously?

When I heard my mom
talking about have

a food truck,
it really... spoke to me.

I thought, that's something

I always have wanted to do.

I mean, you didn't
think like you

should call and ask first?

Jess, it's a surprise.
You love surprises.

When most men go
through a mid-life crisis,

they buy like a motorcycle
or sports car,

not a food truck.

First of all,
I'm not going trough

a mid-life crisis.

And second of all, if I was,

what would you rather?

A motorcycle or a food truck.

Food truck.

Thank you.

It came with a bed.

Well, we're not sleeping in it.

We could for a little while.

Mid-life crisis,
I ain't no where

near mid-life.

I'm gonna live to be a hundred.

You gonna start
dying your beard?

Maybe.

This is the best money
I've ever spent,

cause this is going
to make money.

It's gonna make rain.

Can ya'll see me?
Can you see me?

You can't, there's a cloud of

green right here.

But I mean, it doesn't have any

appliances in here.

I know!

This is the shell.

This is the-

This is a painting without
all the finishing touches.

I would say a lot
of the touches.

I mean, the thing is cool,
but it's empty.

We're gonna need
plumbing in here.

Exactly.

That's where you can help me.

Babe, I have enough on my plate.

I'm overwhelmed with the kids,

and the laundry, and school,

and everything else.

If I have to clean
one more bathroom

of the kids,

I'm gonna lose my mind.

I got an idea.

We got this food truck,

that's gonna bring
in extra money in.

Why don't we just get a cleaning

lady to help you?

I'll get you a cleaning lady-

Yes.

You help me with the truck.

Yes.
Deal.

Boom.

Now that's a good surprise.

You're welcome.

Double surprised.

I love you.

I love you.

All right.

We're doing it.

What about it, kids?

What ya'll name it?

cheeseburger.

Cheeseburger.

No, ketchup.
Ketchup.

No-

I mean, that s not a bad name.

You can do anything
with ketchup.

What about Jep's Foodtacular?

Jessica; You have to
be serious.

Jep's Foodtastic.

I mean, you're just
wasting my time.

What about Jep's Booty?

Picture me, eye patch on,

pirate's theme.

Well no, cause then all the

girls are gonna
come out and say,

"Let me see your booty."

Who's that?

Might be the cleaning service.

Jep, why don't you tell me?

I have to clean up a little bit.

Why do you have to clean up

if I paid a lady to
come clean up?

Baby, because it's
a mess in here.

They're going to look
at this place

and run away.

They're not gonna want
to clean it for us.

Seriously?

Yes!

I don't understand you.

Can I help up?

Hey man, I'm here for the

cleaning service.

That's you?

That's me.

Okay.
Uhm...

I just was thinking
like a typical,

you know, older lady with

her stuff, you know.

No, I understand that.

I'm just doing this to
pay my tuition,

pay my bills.

But not that there's
anything wrong with a guy,

obviously, but-

I'm ready to get to work.

Is your mom sick or?

Hey.

Hi.

How are you?

I'm great.
How are you?

Good.

It's the cleaning service.

Awesome.
I can see that.

Invite him in.
Come on.

Come on in, man.
Cool.

What's your name, bud?

It's Parker.

All right.

I tried to straighten
the toys just so

you're not tripping over them.

But uhm...

you have all the cleaning
supplies you need?

I do, I do.

Okay.

So look, uhm, kitchen,
pantry shelf there.

Really just deep clean
top to bottom.

That be great.

Uhm, we'll get out
of your hair so

you can do that,

unless you need anything else.

You can always Jep
or text Jep if

you need something.

Is that good?

Yeah, he's a cleaner.

Let him clean.

Okay.
I'm sorry.

Thank you.

Thank you, thank you.

Jessica; What's wrong
with you?

Ain't nothing wrong with me.

The cleaning lady's not a lady.

That's not a big deal.

Mr. Clean wasn't
a lady.

Yeah, Mr. Clean
doesn't have

twenty-three inch pythons.

I think he did.

Mr. Clean was
bowed up.

He wasn't that bowed up.

Simmer down.

You use to have, uhm...

big arms too.

Well I'm old now,

and I got a bunch of kids.

So get over it, it's fine.

He's here, we can drop
the kids off,

and we can go to the junk yard

and see if we can find something

for the food truck.

All right, let's go.

All right.
Let's go.

All right.

I'm just gonna go up here-

Why are you going upstairs?

I'm gonna go get your
under garments, okay?

You're so weird.
You never know.

I'm gonna go get the kids.

Yeah, I've seen them before.

Get your laundry, trying it on.

This is a decent
chain right here.

Yeah.

I could use that for
personal use.

What are you going
to use that for?

A chain?

There's a gillion things
you do with

a piece of chain.

One gillion, name a million.

I wonder what
Parker's doing at our

house right now.

Would you stop
thinking about Parker,

it's really weird.

You need to let it go.

What's going on, man?

Hi.

How are you?

How's it going?

What y'all looking for today?

Well...

Hey, how are you?
Good.

We got us a food truck,

so we're trying to fix it up.

A food truck?

Yup.

Yes.

Man, we got sinks,
motors, wheels...

Whatever y'all might need.

You ever heard
of a grown man cleaning

somebody's house?

My God.

Yeah.

Okay.

It's not a big deal,

you need to get over it.

Have you heard of
a grown young man,

that's twenty years old
with twenty three inch arms,

and just rock hard abs
cleaning somebody's house?

Just the house cleaner?

- Yes.
- Yes.

Well, maybe you oughta put him

to clean these sinks for you.

Just kind of what I'm thinking.

Fully clothed.

Yeah.

My gosh.

Anyway, man, for your food truck

we got plenty of stuff.

if we can help up,
you just let us know.

We got fifteen acres out here.

Appreciate it.

Good luck with that.

I can guarantee you right now,

that guy don't wear tank tops.

If you want to fire Parker,

it's your responsibility.

You're the one that hired him.

So, you can get rid of him.

I don't care.

All right.

I might just do that.

This!

This is what we need.

I was thinking, if we cut it,

this could be the
bottom portion of

the wall that goes around-

We could've just
gone to the hardware

store and got that.

At least we're not
leaving empty handed.

All right, I'm leaving.

I gotta go fire a cleaning man.

What?

I gotta go fire
the cleaning man.

He gone!

What's up, dude?

Hey man, what's going on?

Just seeing how
things were going.

Yeah.

I'm just trying to get
the rest of

these clothes done.

So man, I know this job kinda-

kinda stinks.

Pays the bills.

You're probably tired
of this already?

No.
I like it.

I've never had to
fire anybody in my life,

and it's a lot harder
than I thought.

Just trying to get by right now.

Yeah.

A little bit for
my college tuition.

Cause Parker, honestly,

he reminds me of me.

When I was his age.

I think once I graduated,

I wanna open my own business,

somewhere in the
fitness industry.

Yeah, I can see that.

Yeah.

I mean, I was super buff.

And I was just a person.

You know, people like me.

So is there anything
you really love,

you're like,

"Man, I wish I could
be doing this right

now instead
if this junk."

I mean, I'm pretty busy with

school and you know, working,

but I really like video games.

Really?!

Battlefield and Call of Duty.

Really?!

You into that?

I spend a lot of time, man.

Yeah, there we go.

You know, just go dominate

kids and you're just like, yeah.

Get a clan together...

Yeah, you get a little clan.

Yeah.

Yeah, whenever I'm off,

that's what I'm doing,
constantly.

My girlfriend gets
mad at me for it.

Same with me.

They don't realize
how intense it gets.

I know!

Yeah, man.

I mean, if you're ever
playing one time,

I mean we definitely
could play together.

Honestly dude,

if you wanna take a break,

maybe let's go get out-

I'm down for that.

You want to?
You wanna do-

Yeah, let's go.

Man, we can do
that laundry later.

Jep.
Jep.

Jep.
Jep.

Jep.

Jep, are you upstairs?

Jep.

All right, you watch my six.

Seriously?

What?

This is not for you
to play video games in.

But you can.

Why are your guns out here?

What's going on here?

We're playing an FPS.

Kind of gets you in the mood.

All right, can I talk
to you out here.

Yeah.

First of all, you said you were

gonna fire this guy.

Then I come out to
the food truck where

I think maybe y'all doing
something productive,

and y'all are playing
video games.

We're taking a break.

Baby, cleaners don't
take breaks.

They come and they clean,

and then they leave.

We might go shooting later.

And the bathrooms
have not been cleaned.

But he is-he's a good gamer.

Well that's not why
we're paying for him.

We hired him to do a job.

If you get to know him,

you will like him.

That's not the point.

You can play games all you want,

it's just not we're
gonna pay him-

Actually, people get
paid good money

playing these sports.

Like good money.

Jep.

This is not working.

I mean, well all right.

We'll take all this
out in a second.

All right.
Take care of it.

Love you.

I love you.

Okay.

Quickly.
Quickly clean this up.

All right.

All right.

What the heck?

What you do?

I guess I should
probably get back

to cleaning?

Nah.

All right, ladies.

Your deviled eggs here.

Yay!

Of course some duck fat fries.

Yes, just right there.

There you go.
Right there.

I knew where those
were supposed to go.

Thank you.

Enjoy, ladies.

Awesome.

Thank you.

Jep, he's been full
of surprises lately.

Like what?

For starters, he surprised me

with the food truck.

Yeah.

A food truck?

He bought a food truck.

How can you do that?

I mean, you've got five
kids, you got a baby.

How would you have
time to do all that?

I told him, I'll help him with

like the design of it.

Yeah?

But this is his thing, okay.

I don't have time to
cook and prepare.

Anyway, I'm kind of just like.

Well, you know,
I'm having a little

bit of a problem
myself right now.

With what?

You know I really wanna retire.

And I need to get my
house paid off is

what I need to do
before I retire.

Yeah.

If I did rent it out,
I could get it

paid off pretty quickly.

I just don' know-

I haven't thought it through,

so I don't know what to do.

Well why don't you
just move in with us?

I've been trying to
talk my mom into

moving in with us for a while.

I've been telling you,
move in with us-

I know that you have.

Save up your money...

I mean, she's living
alone in a big house,

she doesn t need
all that space...

Jess, I'm just scared
I'll be in the way.

And you know I don't
like to be in

anybody's way.

You're not going
to be in the way.

In fact, you'll probably-
It's gonna help me.

Gus is running around
everywhere.

It be nice to have another pair

of eyes on him.

You know the kids love you.

I mean, you can help out

a little with them.

Woo!

It would really help
Jep and me out.

It's a win, win.

What about Jep thought?

You don't think you need
to maybe ask him?

Jep, he surprised
me enough lately.

This'll be a good
surprise for him.

He's gonna love it.

Let's do it.

You're moving in.

Yes!

It's gonna be fun.

Y'all want some ice cream?

Yeah!

Where's my ice cream scoop?

I got a fork.

I guess that's what we're
going with, kids.

I don't want any.

You don't want ice cream?

No.

What's wrong with you?

Gaga wants half of it.

Should I get him some ice cream?

I don't know if
that's a good idea.

I think he should eat some.

Okay.

Cause he's fat.

He's big boned,
that's what you say.

Hi, mom.

What y'all doing?

Jess, you want some ice cream?

No, I'm full.

Okay.

Hey, I have a
surprise for y'all.

Really?

And you love surprises, right?

I do.

Okay.

Are we going shopping?

No.

Are we going to Disneyworld?

No.

New video game?

Yes!

Are we getting a new video game?

Gus, what do you think it is?

So, y'all love
little Memaw, don't you?

Yeah!

Memaw is moving in with us.

Yes.

It's gonna be awesome.

She's gonna be such a good help.

Jess, that's not a surprise.

That's a-that's a nightmare.

I thought you'd love it.

I love your mom,
but living under a roof?

I don't know about that.

She's awesome.

You have a great
relationship with her.

I have a lot of close
relationships with people,

I don't want them all
to move in my house.

It's way better than that nasty

food truck you bought.

Are you kidding me?!

My surprise, the food truck,

that makes money.

Your surprise,

it's going to cost us money.

She doesn't eat that much.

Let's take a couple
years to think about this.

I didn't really know
it was going to

be soon either,

but at dinner she was like,

now she needs a place stay.

Now.
Like ASAP.

She loves the kids,
she's a good cook,

she'll help clean up
a little bit.

It will actually help us a lot.

What can your mom offer,

is what I wanna know.

You give me the pros,

and I'll give you the cons.

She cane make
Beignets for breakfast.

And they are good.

She wears weird old lady cologne

and stinks up this whole house.

This is true, this is true.

We can tell her to-

she can't spray it in out house.

She has strange friends
that smell funny too.

She helps clean up.

What about Parker?

Have you thought about that?

You need to fire Parker.

Jess, Parker is my friend.

I don't fire my friends.

You don't even know that guy.

Are you kidding?

I play video games with him.

So we're paying
him to play video

games with you, not clean?

Well, I mean he can do both.

He's a multi-tasker.

You're paying for a friend.

That's what I like about him.

Jep.

Jess, he's saving up
to buy a turn table.

You need to fire him.

I already tried,
it doesn't work.

Look, he so happy!
He likes his Memaw!

This is a trial basis.

I'll give you that.

Okay.

Three strikes and she's out.

I'll give her a tent and a
hundred dollars and say,

"Go under a bridge
and have fun."

Jep, you-That is-

That is wrong.

You need a spanking for that.

Hey, babe.

Boom, boom, boom.

How's it going?

Good.

Jep, what are you doing?

I'm painting 'em.

Making them look rustic.

This is not rustic.

I mean, you wrote
your name on one,

you drew a gun on the other.

Guns make people hungry.

How-how so?

I don't know.
What?

I've never heard of that.

You see a gun, you're thinking,

"I better get something
to eat in case I get shot."

Ooh, multicolored.

Jep, we're just gonna
have to toss

these in the trash.

Well I can use
it fro something else,

just not for the truck.

Jep.

Well, I guess you can
go ahead and decorate

it since we're not gonna use it.

I just like
spray painting stuff.

Good job, babe.

All right.

Nice one.
I love you.

Love you.

Super cool.

You're smoking hot
and I love you.

Uhm...

Hey, man!

What's up, man?

Sweet gun.

Uhm, I was trying to
do a project,

but it ain't working
out too well.

Ooh.

Well, I was gonna tell you,

my mother-in-law is
actually moving in the

house and she's gonna
like start helping cleaning.

So I kinda don't need
your services any more.

But I mean I would love to hang

out some more.

We could still play
games together and...

I mean, I got more cool stuff

I could show you.

All right, man.

See you later

Hey, what's your gamer tag?

I'm not gonna have
a chance to get on, man.

Take care.

All right, man.

Good luck playing
video games with

your mother-in-law.

Well that hurt.

She'll never play
a game with me.

And here is daddy,

cleaning the kid's bathroom
like he should've

had the cleaning guy do,

instead he wanted to
play video games with him.

Gus, be careful
surprising your wife one day,

cause you never know
when it back fires.

You'll be cleaning toilets.

Say, "Silly dad."

My God.

Silly daddy.

Da-da-da.

Say dada.