Jep & Jessica: Growing the Dynasty (2016–2017): Season 1, Episode 2 - The Homecoming - full transcript

Hey, babe. Why don't we
do one more video

Hey, babe. Why don't we
do one more video

before the baby gets here? Yeah.

Hey, Baby Jules.

We've been waiting
here for a while.

We're ready to see you
and hold you.

River's ready to squeeze you.

He's ready to change
your poo-poo diapers.

Dad?
Hey, buddy.

Do you know anything about
Wi-Fi and how to connect?

Jep, really. Seriously.



We are in the hospital,
waiting for our new son.

We finally got the call
from the adoption attorney.

The adoption has gone through.

He's been at the hospital
since he was born,

and now that we've finally got
the call from our adoption agent,

we're ready to take
our little man home.

I'm super excited, too, but...

but the most boring place
in the world

is a hospital waiting room.

I love you, buddy.
It'd be better if we had

some Wi-Fi here, so we could...

Usually somebody says, "Hey,

got you something.
Come pick it up."

Okay. We'll go
pick it up, and leave.



We're here--It's like a movie that's, like,

incredibly boring
the whole time,

and then it has
a awesome ending!

Well, this is just
driving me crazy.

Say something
to your baby brother.

Hi? No. Say something
really sweet and sentimental.

Come on. I love you?

And what else?

Hi. All right, we're moving on.

I'm really happy
that we're getting to do

these video diaries
for Baby Jules.

I gotta say,
it's been pretty awesome.

I think it's gonna be
also when he can look back

at these videos and see
how much we loved him,

and to see how happy
our other kids are

to get another brother.

I love you, and um,
you're gonna have my room,

and I hope you
sleep good at night,

and don't wake Mommy up--Thank you.

And I hope you have
a good time at our house.

That's so sweet, Priscilla.

I am so ready to get
my hands on that baby boy.

We're ready.

Really ready.

We really are ready to see you.

Why would it take this long?

I don't understand,
don't know if there's

an issue with the paperwork,

or if there's something
wrong with the paperwork--

Is there somebody in there,
like a scribe in there?

Like writing it down?

No.Longhand or something?

No, I don't know if they just have
to get everything signed, and--

They have computers nowadays.
They can just type.

I mean, surely they'll come out and
let us know if there's something wrong.

All I know is, I'm tired.

I'm tired and I want to go home!

Hey, calm down.

He's here!

- There he is!
- Yes!

Here's your son!!

Hey, little mister!

Can I hold him, Mama?
No, we're all gonna hold him.

Hey...
He's so big!

What a big boy you are!

Hey, little boy. Hey, buddy!

It's your baby brother!

Hey, little boy.
You wanna see your daddy?

He needs Daddy time.Aww...

So everything went okay,
all the paperwork?

Yes, ma'am, he's yours.

Okay! All right.

Look at him,
sucking his thumb already.

So he's finally here,
little Baby Jules...

Augustus.

Hi. Hi.

I got my hands on my big
Jules and my Baby Jules.

See? He likes it!

He laughed!

I love you.

Tell him.

I should video this.
Yeah!

Give us a thumbs up, nurse.
Yay! Congratulations.

Thank you!
Yay!

All right, so you wanted to hold him first.
Come sit down!

Look at the little hands!

He's like, "Talk to the hand.

I ain't got time for y'all."

Scill, what do you
think about it?

I think...
he's wonderful.

I think so too.

And that I love him. You're so sweet.

You're gonna be such
a great big sister.

What do you think, Daddy?

I'm fired up. He's pretty perfect?

He is perfect.

Look at that boy, River!

Bub, tell him how to be a
man, right now.

I love you, Captain America.

Bub. He's gonna have a good
friend with you, buddy.

It's such a surreal moment
to finally have him in our arms

and we waited so long and wanted
this to happen for so many years

that to actually have him and
hold him and know that he's ours,

and we're his forever family...
We're excited.

Who's changing
the first doody diaper?

Lily!

We're going home, buddy!
Hey, Baby Jules Augustus Robertson!

Hey!
Finally, we're coming home

with you in our arms.
Yay!

We love you! We love you!

All right, you want to squeal it?
You want to burn it, Scilla?

Yeah, squeal it! No, I can't do that.

Not with a baby.
No, that is dangerous.

We have the baby.
He's ours.

Let's go to our home
and celebrate.

It's just been a long road,
and I'm just ready to get home

and get settled with
our family of seven, now.

You know what?
We should pick up some more baby formula.

Okay.
Then we're going home.

Yes.

All right, guys?
Everybody grab a basket.

I got the basket.

Okay, we need diapers.
Baby powder.

Baby Jules,
what do you need, little man?

I know.
You're kind of gassy.

Baby, get his gas medicine.

Here, get a basket. Yeah, I will.

Dad, do we need
Infant Enema Syringes?

We need formula.

You need some cinnamon?
Might smell good.Yep.

You need any vitamins
while you're here?

No. I can come back. You sure?

What about this?

Bub, that's a dog toy.

You don't need a dog toy.
You can't--

Look at this.
It is a vat of butt paste.

"Butt paste!"

Now here, you hold
the butt paste.

All right.
And go put the dog toy up.

Butt paste!

Jess, this has turned
into a lot of stuff here.

No, baby, we're just--
Baby hair brush.

How about formula?
That's kind of what we came here for.

Shoppin' with Jess...

is like getting a prostate exam.

Seriously. Yes, you need to do it,
it's what's best for you--

So you do it, and
there's a lot of pain,

and a lot of suffering involved,

but you try to make it to the
end, just try to stay alive.

Hi, buddy. Your mom's
buying stuff you do not need.

A rattle, yay! A rattle, yay! A rattle...

We got you a rattle. Jep, look.

I'm making a video here.

Okay, look.
A couple more things.

Life lesson, Baby Jules.

When a woman tells you
you need to get something,

know that you're going
to spend a lot of time

doing crap you don't want to do.

Baby Jules,
we'll get you some baby toys!

All right. Raise your hand
if you want to go home!

I do.
I do!

Me.

You can never have
enough pacifiers.

Attention, Robertson family.
Put all baskets at the... Cinnamon?

checkout place.

I'll go with the butt paste.

When men go shopping, they
get one thing. Boom. Done.

That quick. Just like how
a prostate exam should be.

Wha-- What is this crap? Here.

My Baby Jules...

- I love you.
- Thank you for stopping.

- You're the best.
- You're the best.

"Butt paste."

Okay. Welcome home, baby!

Jules, this is your home.

This is the living
room--Now, we're walking--

Now, I'm gonna get you
a sneak peek of the bedroom--

Off limits. That's Mom and Daddy's room.

You want to be in it, Scill?

And this is the kitchen.
Mama's gonna make you biscuits

and homemade jelly--!

And go to his room?
It's not really ready.

It's never gonna be ready.

After all this waiting,
and finally holding him in our arms

and taking him home with us
to his home, our home--

I mean, it was just such
a relief to finally get him

and just to know
he's ours-- our new son--

I mean, there's just nothing
like your family getting bigger.

I can't believe
it all came down to this.

And he's here,
and we can love on him,

we can talk to him,
the kids can play with him.

It's like Bizarro World--
in a good way.

All right, Baby Jules, this is your room!
Here is your room, buddy.

He likes it gray?
I bet he love the trees

on the wall--

Come here, sweet baby.
Do you love your bed?

Do y'all smell something? Yeah. Sorry.

He pooped! Smells like hot garbage

and Indian food mixed together.

Jep!
Well, it does.

Let Mommy check your britches.

He's got a lot of it.
It's a big one.

That is my son.

So now Baby Jules has pooped
his first poop in this house.

He is an official resident.

That's what makes him
a resident, when he doo-doos?

Well, yeah. I mean...

Yeah, but like, we have
friends who come over and...

you know, go number two
in our bathroom.

That doesn't make
them a resident.

But it wasn't one
of their first ones.

You know what I'm sayin'? That's true.

All right Babe,

looks like we got
his first dirty diaper.

Jep, you want to change him?

No, I'm gonna let
Mommy change him.

All right. We're gonna get
our wipes ready. Yes, we are.

Hey, stay out of there, bub.
It's a hot zone.

He's gonna pee on ya!
Pee on her!

He's not gonna
pee-pee on Mama. Do it!

He's not gonna do it.

- Ew!
- Wee!

That stinks.

Merritt, here.

Classic diaper toss.

Come here, little britches.

Wrap up that bottom end good.

Here, Mom.
Wrap him in this. All right!

You want your elephant blankie?

♪ There we go

He says hello.

You wanna say Hi.

So who's next on diaper duty?

Daddy! Daddy.

Ooh.

Whoo!

Hi!

Man, I'm glad we ain't got to
spend another day at that hospital.

I know.
I love bein' home, being cozy

and lovin' on our baby boy.

Just love his love.
It's all about love, babe.

Isn't that right?

Our first night was
awesome with the baby.

Minus the lack of sleep I got.

Ain't nothin' like
gettin' up every two hours.

That'll wear off
that new baby magic.

Yeah, we're pretty tired.Hey.
We gotta rally the troops.

I got my family
comin' over. I know.

It's gonna be exciting.

You look excited. I'm just tired.

What do we have? Hi, guys.

My goodness.

Yep, he looks just like me.

Hello, little man.

All right.
So what's his name?

Jules Augustus.

You know where that came
from, Jase.

I know where
the Jules came from.

Robert Duvall, Lonesome Dove.

Augustus McCrae.

I actually wanted to name him
Augustus McCrae Robertson.

No.Here's my recommendation.

Cypress Creek Robertson.

No, we've already
been through that.

Hang on. No, no, no.

We were raised on the mouth
of Cypress Creek.

You could then call him Cy.

You have River.
Would you like a brother named Creek?

No! No. We have enough Si's
in the family.

Jase should not
be allowed to name kids,

'cause, I mean,
his names are ridiculous.

I mean, Cypress Creek? Creek?

We already have one son named
after a body of water.

That's like, all we need.

Plus, we've already named him.

I don't really know why
he's giving us suggestions.

It's gonna be Jules,
just like his daddy.

He also gets gas, just like Jep.

He'll get all mad.
And then he'll just--

And then he just starts smiling.

Well, he looks comfortable.

Knock, knock. Hey!

Hey!

Hey, y'all! There he is. Jeppico.

He's so sweet!

Look at his little toes.

I gotta kiss your little feet.

Lisa has a foot fetish.

Hey, buddy. Hey, Gus.

He looks like a little Gus.

Well, you know,
we used to make fun of Jules.

What? Yeah.

We called him
"Family Jewels."

There's a reason we named him
Jules Augustus Robertson.

I'ma call him Gus

as some older brothers
like to call

their younger brother
"Family Jewels."

And they hear that
all growing up,

and they cry theirself to sleep.

I think it's cute.

It's not cute.
It was mean,

and I hated it.

I love your name.

Thank you.

So you changing diapers?

He changed one. I did change one.

I think I changed two,
and it was an emergency.

My goodness. It makes me gag.

I have a gag reflex. Me too.

But you can like gut fish

and you can do
all that other stuff,

but you can't change a diaper.

I don't like
any kind of doo-doo.

Right.

Hi! Lookie here.

Hey...

There he is.

My goodness.

Well, he just pooped.

I'll change his diaper.
I don't care.

I don't do diapers.

My goodness, look at him.

You wanna wake up a little bit

and meet your family?

He's almost as tall as Jep.

You need to hold him.

He needs to get to know
his Uncle Willie.

No, no, no.

Easy.

Aww. Simba--

Now, now, easy there. There--

Easy there, Augustofus-- whatever
your name is. Pull his hair out.

That's a real beard.
It's a real beard.

I like holding him like this.

Okay.

I'm sorry for torturing
you with that.

You gotta get used to
the beards though.

Yup. We have the best
sister-in-laws in the world.

We've always leaned
on each other.

And now that everybody's
kind of done having babies,

I mean till they have grandkids,

this will be their little boy
they want to baby-sit.

They're gonna love him.

How could you not love him?

He is so adorable.

Bye, ya'll.

Congratulations.
Thanks for coming by.

Well, that was fun.

That was. I'm glad
they got to come by.

Yes, and we saw all
your uncles and your aunts.

They already love you so much.

I'm tired.
Are you tired?

Yeah, I'm exhausted.

All right, we heard there's a
baby over here. Hey.

I wondered where
you've been. Yay!

There's your Uncle John
and Uncle Martin.

Friend Martin, not Uncle Martin.

We gonna have fun. I don't want
any responsibility going with it.

Hi, buddy.

He's just my buddy.

Look at them little fingers. I know.

He got hair like mine, though
it's-it's leaving his head. I know.

If you get to be 6'5", none of these
clowns can see the top of your head.

Hah! He's gonna be tall.
Nope.

We are having a baby
blessing this weekend.Yeah.

I want you all to come.

We gonna eat there?
We gonna eat there.

We gonna eat good too.

What we eating?

Pulled pork.

Yeah, I'll be here.
I'm in.

Ya'll need to do
this more often. I know.

Speakin' of pulled pork,
do you smell that?

Thinking he's making a deposit.

Yup.

Diaper duty. Godwin's a pro at that.

Hey, I changed 975 diapers.

You did not. I did.

Let's make it an even thousand

I'll do it. Jep did five out of
our kids.

Well, this is number five,
so he's done one each? I've done one--

On average. Exactly right, I've done one.

Seriously, I think I would get
Godwin to baby-sit for us some time.

I think he would be amazing.

The Godwin's actually
better with kids

than any of my brothers.Yeah.

Like he's very loving
and caring and nurturing.

My brother's are none of that.

And he does diaper duty.

Yeah, he does.

Two thumbs up.

Yeah, I think he's
making a deposit.

All right, Uncle Godwin.
All right, then on that note.

The diapers and wipes
are in that room.

You're almost there, Godwin.

All right, 976.

Good luck, buddy.
You're on your way.

Phil, what do you think
about your grandson?

I love the little booger.

He's so cute.

Say, "Come on, Uncle Al,
I'm ready."

There he is.

Boo, there he is. I'm ready.

Boo, there he is.

Look at him!

We decided that
we wanted to have

a baby blessing at our house,

basically just to celebrate

with all of our family
and all of our friends,

you know, our new son.

It's a big part of who we are.

And it's important
for him to know

that he's got friends and family

that will always
be here for him.

All right, I think
we're heading down here.

We're gonna go, we're gonna
start the blessing.

Y'all want to
head down with us? Follow the leader.

Get this kid blessed.

All right, we're all here
to have our little baby blessing

for our newest member
of the Robertson family.

The Bible says in Psalm 127

that children are
a heritage from the Lord.

Offspring are a reward from Him.

"Like arrows in the hands
of a warrior,

blessed is the man whose
quiver is full of them."

Jep, your quiver overfloweth.

That it do.

Today, we officially welcome

this newest little arrow,
Jules Augustus Robertson,

into our family of warriors.

Jep and Jessica, you have
chosen to adopt little Gus--

And that's what I'ma call him,
Little Gus, by the way.

We ask a very special
blessing on you,

to guide him in Godly wisdom

and to protect him from evil.

Lily, Merritt,
Priscilla, and River,

you got a job too.

We ask that you look out
for your little brother,

better than we did your dad.

And most importantly,

don't let him become
a spoiled little brat.

That's very important
that we don't do that.

To all the Robertson friends,
our forever family,

I ask that you join me
in pledging support

to Jep and Jessica
to raise up our newest son

to love God, to love others,

and to make a difference
in this world.

We don't know what his life
would have been like without us.

We just know that he'll
be loved by everybody.

Aunts, uncles,
cousins, grandparents,

siblings, and of course,
by his moma and daddy.

He might have not been
born into the family,

but he'll always be
a Robertson, and our son.

I'm gonna ask Dad to say
a prayer of blessing.

- Dad.
- I'll do it.

Father, I hope and pray
that the world around us

sees humanity as you do.

There is just one race,
Father, in your eyes.

It's called the human race.

I commend Jep and
Jessica for being brave enough

and loving enough
to adopt this child

into the Robertson family. Amen.

In the name of Jesus, I pray.
Amen.

Amen.

Now having him in our hands

and knowing there's no turning back.
He is our son.

I mean, your heart
expands exponentially.

And even me not
giving birth to him,

he's just as much my son
as River is my son.

It was meant to be. That's right.

I mean, you know?

It was meant to be.

I just want to say thanks
to everybody for coming.

And, you know, it has
been kind of tough.

Um, some sleepless nights
we've had.

But it's awesome, and you know,
we couldn't do it without you guys.

And we're depending on
y'all and y'all's kids

to help us raise him. It takes a village.

Yeah. And we fully believe that.

And we got a good one. That's right.

I love you. All right, let's eat.

All right, let's eat.

Let's get on that pork.

All aboard.
All right.

You ready to hold your
little grandson right here?

There you go.

Hello, twisty pee.

You little twisty pee.

That's Mamo Kay.

You're gonna love me one day
when you can eat.

Little baby boy. Old Jules Jr. there.

Little Jules.

Think he wants his Uncle Si.

Good grief.

Where you trying to go?

Jules Augusta.

You got a good name.
I like it.

Augusta.

Hey, Baby Gus. What's up, Baby Gus?

We love you so much.

We just got through
having your "big party."

Love you.

See what he has to say about it.

Jep--He's all, "Yeah."

He's snoozing
is what he's doing. It was fun.

He's snoozing.Yeah.

Dude, you have so many friends,
and you're like,

zero days old.
That's awesome.

Love you!

We love you, bum.

Love you! I love you, bubbers.