Jasper and Errol's First Time (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 4 - This Is a Knife - full transcript

- Whoo.
- We want to keep it clean out there.

We all have mothers we love.

You all have family you love.

You all want kids one day,
maybe.

It's time to get it on.

Fence.

The world is
a shitty place right now.

Many people are unwilling
to see the other side.

That's where Jasper and Errol
come along.

These two young,
chocolate-skinned men from LA

have made it their mission
to unite us all



by participating in activities
outside their comfort zone,

and trying things
for the first time.

I'm so hung over.

What is wrong with me?

My face hurts so bad.

That doesn't happen
to anybody else?

Your face hurts?

Yes.
My face is pounding.

- ...from being drunk?
- Yes.

I probably shouldn't be playing
with a sword right now.

All right. What's up?
I'm Race.

Jasper.
Nice to meet you.

Errol.
Nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.
- My name is Race Imboden.



I'm a two-time Olympian.
I got a bronze medal in Rio,

and I'm here to teach
some fencing today.

- Aw, yeah.
- Sound good?

- I'm ready to whoop Errol's ass.
- Deal.

Talking all that shit
this morning, playboy.

It's gonna end today.
- Do you see my face?

Do you see me flinch?

I'll show you guys
the fencing positions.

Make an L with your feet.
Spread out half way.

There you go.
Bend your knees,

And that's your position,

So, your dominant hand
is always out.

This is your
jabbing hand. Right?

It's basically - fencing
is like lightweight boxing.

You just want to jab. You want
to be the first guy to hit.

Everything is super quick.
So, then, the way you touch

when you want to hit
somebody is, you lunge.

So, you kick your front foot
out, and you land like that.

Boom. The idea is that,
like, if you're sparring

with somebody -
So if we're sparring, right,

you're always gonna be
trying to hit me,

So, if you lunge at me,
I'm gonna get away,

and I'm gonna be
right on top of you.

- Wow. Damn.
- Right?

- So, that's the idea.
- You're like a... cheetah.

So, that's why everything
is like, "Hup, hup, boom!"

Okay?
- Whoo!

A little fun fact -
the end of a fencing blade,

when you whip it,

and it kind of carries
the momentum,

it's the second fastest
thing in sports.

The only thing faster
is a bullet.

Oh, that's crazy, because
they used to call me Bullet,

because I was the fastest
thing in school.

- All right. Cool. So, then...
- Remember?

- No.
- Remember when we was at school together?

No.

Cool. So, this is
your target area.

If you hit the target area,
the green light comes on.

If you hit his target,
red light.

So, it's almost like
sword laser tag.

All right.
So, now, you're gonna fence.

You'll start here.
You'll start 1 foot back.

You'll go en garde position.

Always want -
Because it's a stabbing weapon,

you want to be
facing him like that.

I can't even scratch my nose.
It's itching.

Ready?

Fence.

Nice.
Off target.

You missed, though.
- Trying to stab my dick, nigga?

Get him.
That's your moment.

Oh, nice.

You got to start making fun
of him for just trying

to hit you in the dick so much.

It's a game of chess.

Focus.

Let's go.

Hiyah!

Oh.
That was actually really...

That was... good.

- Damn.
- Right in my upper ass.

- Damn.
- Ugh!

It's hot!

Where did fencing start?

So, fencing goes all the way
back to ancient Egypt.

After that, it became kind of
a thing of royalty

in the European countries -
France, England, Germany.

It would be the first
to draw blood.

That's crazy.

So, who wants to fence me first?

Let's do it.

Whoo.
- We going to keep it clean out there.

We all have mothers we love.
You all have family you love.

You all want kids
one day, maybe.

It's time to get it on.

Fence.

You look like you're
holding that pretty light.

- Score!
- Did I hit myself?

Oh, my God.

That was wild.

Dude.

You smell - you smell -
You're sweating so much.

I...
I love it.

It's coming out of me now.

It's coming out of me, dude.

All right.

Red side, we have Race,
Olympic champion.

Blue side, we have Teenis...

hood legend.

Let's go, pimp.

Ready?

Fence.

Try to hit me.

I like it.

Damn.

Have you ever gotten
any crazy injuries?

The worst you get,
because the glove

is the only thing
that's not ballistic.

So, like, people
get it through the hand.

So, you get, like...
- Through the hand?

Yeah.

And somebody got it
through the ball sack.

Yeah, so, like, it came
and hit him in the leg,

and then, it snapped...

- It broke.
- ...and went through.

- Oh. - Yeah. - What? - Yeah.

The last thing I'll do with you
guys, just because I don't think

you can hit me,
is to fence with no gear on.

I'm just gonna wear on a mask,

So, we'll go shirtless.

If you can leave a mark...
- You're going shirtless?

If you leave a mark,
you score a point.

Let's do it.
I'm in it.

Let's get it.

We're going shirtless.

I'm going to take one of
your nipples off, for sure.

Oh, my God.

- Ah!
- Ready?

Fence.

Oh!

How'd that feel?

- That shit hurt!
- I get your nipple or no?

- No. It hit, like, right here?
- I missed it?

Damn it.
- You were trying to my nipple?

Oh, my God.

You were trying
to just nick my nipple?

I was close, though, no?

Yo, you was, like, right here.

That's crazy.
I thought you was joking.

Thank you for everything.
I appreciate that.

Hey, man.

It's great to know that
we're just two shirtless

Olympians in here training.
- Yeah, it's casual.

- I love it.
- Super casual.

- Hiyah!
- Try to step on my toes.

Come on.
Try to step on my toes.

Come on.
- I don't want to hurt you.

Come on.
No, come on.

- I'm a nice man.
- Aim for my - Come on.

Aim for my toes.
- I'm a nice man.

Um...

Mwah.

Oh, yeah.

I need to be that smooth.

Wow.

Bravo.

Bravo.
That's crazy.

I see myself in your moves.

- Wow.
- Saw me right there.

Hi. I'm Jasper.
- Jasper. I'm Julie.

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

- Errol.
- Errol, nice to meet you.

The tango you're
gonna learn today

is what we call
"social tango."

It's not staged,
choreographed tango

that you usually see
in movies or TV.

The tango started in Argentina
about 150 years ago,

and it started with
men dancing with men.

And, you know,
when there's lots of men,

there's working girls
who show up.

So, that's why, a lot of times,

tango is associated
with the brothels.

The first thing you're
gonna learn is how to walk.

You're gonna put
your hands up here.

This is what we call
a "practice position."

Just for right now.
I want you to watch, okay?

- Oh, yes.
- Pay attention.

It's natural.
- Okay.

So, let's start with you
on your right.

Now, start walking
with your left.

Walk into my space.

Come on.
Walk with your heart.

Walk with your heart,
not your shoulders.

Walk with your heart.

How do you walk
with your shoulders?

I want you to walk
right where my toes are.

- Mm-hmm.
- Come on.

Try to step on my toes.

Come on.
Try to step on my toes.

- I don't want to hurt you.
- Come on. No, come on.

- I'm a nice man.
- Aim for my - Come on.

Aim for my toes.
- I'm a nice man.

Aim for my toes.
That's making me move.

Yeah.

There you go.
- My mom be proud.

That's great.
That was good.

So, I'd like to introduce you
to your partners.

- Hello, there.
- Hello.

- How are you?
- I'm jasper.

This is Jimena.
Jimena, nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.
And this is Michelle.

- Hello. - Hi.
- Oh, wait. - Oh, wow.

- I remember. Hello.
- Good. Good. You learn.

And you guys are gonna walk
in the tango embrace.

Now, start with your heart.

- Yeah. Okay.
- There you go.

Good. Good.

Take your time.

Yes.

- That's beautiful.
- Look at this guy.

Excuse me, you guys
are dancing too slow.

Whatever.
It's not a race.

- Yes, it is.
- It's not a race.

- It is a race.
- It's not a race.

No. Take your time.
But your doing great.

You're doing great.

- Lead with your heart.
- What? - Good.

Jasper, you know
nothing about this.

Exactly. Exactly.
Straight ahead.

There you go.

Good.
- I think we're moving now.

- Good.
- We're moving.

Thank you.

I'm ready for
the advanced class.

Well, now, you're gonna learn
is what we call

the "salida basica."

- Say that again.
- "Salida basica."

- Say it again.
- "Salida..."

- "Salida..."
- "...basica."

- "...basica."
- It's the basic step.

You're gonna take a step
with your left

and bring your feet together.

Don't aim for the parking lot.

I felt like
Michael Jackson, honestly.

I know.
I could see.

That's what I wanted to,
and it was in my blood.

In tango, you don't go over
and ask a woman to dance.

Do I give her the eyes
from a distance?

- Wow.
- This guy is a natural.

But let me...

Let me tell you how you
ask a woman to dance.

It's called
the "cabaceo."

- "Cabaceo."
- "Cabaceo."

Because this is the cabeza - the head.
- Uh-huh.

And cabaceo is a little nod.

- Mm.
- It's very subtle.

Oh.

So, if you're at a party -
a tango party -

and you see a woman
across the room

that you want to dance with,

you don't go over
and ask her to dance

because what if she says "no"?

You've just asked her
in front of people,

and she said "no."
Oh. I don't get embarrassed.

I lost that a long time ago.
It was nothing.

But what you do is,
you give her the cabaceo.

Oh, no, I've been doing
this one for years.

I got this.
No worries.

You look at her, and you do this

- Ooh. I like that.
- That was real smooth.

Yeah, that was
barely a head nod.

- My head move too much.
- You barely moved your head.

That's it. That's it.
That's it.

Oh, yeah.
Yeah.

Can I turn it up a little bit
on my own though?

Is it okay to bite the lip
a little?

Are you ready to hit
the dance floor now?

Yep.

Are you ready to tango
real Argentine tango?

Yes.
Mm-hmm.

No. You have to
go over to her.

Oh. Oh, okay.

Slide.

Where are - Look at you.
You don't want to stop.

You've become a natural.

All right. I think that's
gonna be the end of class.

I think we have to...

We figured it out.

But you guys did great.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

- I'm the best.
- We got there.

- I think you got it.
- We're there, you know, hey.

- And Jasper, what do you think?
- I think I'm a pro.

What I wanted to tell you is
that, when you do start tango,

you become part of
an international family.

And if you know
how to dance tango,

you can go into a milonga in,
let's say, Istanbul.

You don't speak a word
of Turkish...

- But you know how to tango.
- ...But if you know how to tango...

Exactly right!
You got it.

Wow.

You got it.
That's all you need.

Not speak her language...

- No words.
- ...and communicate.

I'm proud of you.
- That's a good one.

- I'm proud of you.
- Look at that.

Look at that.
Look at the learning.

Look at us learning,
experiencing things.

Look at that.

- Ooh, what was it called?
- I don't remember.

Cabas...
Oh, the capo...

- Cabeza.
- Yeah...

- Cabeceo.
- It was like this.

It was like...

No. that was too much.
That was too much.

It was more one of these.
like, a...

- Nah, that was...
- Like, you're scoping the scene.

You see her.
You like...

There's a quick one.
The quick one, wow.

That look like you just saying,
"What's up?"

Okay. So, I'm gonna
help you sit down.

Go ahead and just get used
to the darkness, okay?

Do they turn the lights
at the end?

I kind of want to
to take my clothes off

and surprise everybody.
What?

Welcome to Opaque
Dining in the Dark.

Are you guys excited to be here?

- Yes.
- Yeah.

Do you know what
you're doing tonight?

Eating in the dark?

Yeah, pitch-dark, pitch-black,
can't see anything, I heard.

Yeah. So, you're actually
coming into my world.

I am visually impaired.

All the servers that work here
tonight and every night,

we are all visually impaired.

So, tonight, you're
gonna experience

a little bit of my world.

And a lot of people come because
they're losing their vision,

and they want to have a glimpse
of how it's going to be,

So, it's emotional, you know,
for different people.

- What are we eating?
- That's part of the experience.

Tonight, you are gonna eat
what the chef has prepared,

and we are just gonna ask

if you have any
dietary restrictions.

- Cool.
- I don't like ketchup.

Okay. We'll make sure
you won't have ketchup.

I don't like avocado, either.

Tomatoes and cucumbers is...

Ooh, same here with those.

- Damn, that's...
- I don't like Quiznos.

Why would they bring
Quiznos into a restaurant?

- Quiznos?
- This is a fine-dining experience.

How are you guys doing?

- I'm doing good.
- My eyes hurt.

Okay. So, I'm gonna
help you sit down.

The table is in front of you.
Go ahead and take a seat.

- Oh, my god. I'm so clumsy.
- And then...

Uh-huh.
Oh, yeah.

I'm in the chair.
Good job.

- So you, like, close to somebody?
- Oh, this is insane.

So, right now, I'm gonna
describe the table for you.

Shit.
Did you spill your water?

Almost.

Is there no one
to the right of me?

So, on the table now, we have
a couple things set for you.

If you feel right in front
of you, carefully,

you're gonna feel
your silverware...

Ooh, it's wet.
...and your water.

Go ahead and just get used
to the darkness, okay?

- I'll be right back.
- I'll just tear the bread.

- That shit was all sticky.
- All right, guys.

- Yo.
- I'm going to get the bread.

- Oh, I put my hand in the butter.
- I think this the bread, right here.

Is this place usually crowded?

Like, when you guys
have people come?

- She not even in here, bruh.
- Need some bread, Lionel?

- Okay. - I'm gonna snap so
you can know where it's at.

Grab it, nigga.
Grab it.

- I'm eating it.
- Who the... is this?

That's me.

Oh!
That's water.

What the...
just touched me?

Hey, guys. So, I'm
gonna be handing you

a little appetizer.

This is gonna get
your taste buds going.

- It's not hummus, is it?
- No.

And now, you're going to learn
to like things you never tried.

What the...
is this?

- Oh, that's a lot.
- I thought it was a little bite.

It's a bigger bite than I thought.
- What is this?

That's pretty good.
I'm not even going to lie.

It tastes like
a loaded potato wedge.

You know what?
It smells like...

It smells like KFC.
- I'm going to just assume

that I'm pointing into
the camera and looking at it.

You're not.
I see where you're pointing.

- Ka-chow.
- Oh, that's where my butter went.

It's all in my...
hand, now.

Butter in the hand, am I right?

You're right.
High-five me, bro.

Wait.
Snap.

Oh. I told you I could see.
Yeah, I can see you.

- Jasper.
- Nigga, I'm over here laying on the floor.

Oh, shit!

You've got to crawl to me
right now.

Like I didn't see him.
He so stupid.

Hi, guys. I'm back.

- Hello, Back.
- Ready for some real good food?

You know I am.
You know I am.

Do they turn the lights
on at the end?

I want to take my clothes off
and surprise everybody.

- What?
- Are you gonna eat shirtless?

That'd be so good.

Errol, dude, I'm gonna sock you
if you keep doing that shit.

I'm gonna put it on the table.

- Oh, okay.
- Oh, what is this?

- That's for sure arugula.
- This is a knife.

Mm, it's slamming.

Where you at?

Oh, shit.
My bad.

Nigga almost took my eye out.

How are you doing
with your taste buds?

When people come in, they really
feel and taste the flavors.

And then, they also stop
eating at a certain time

because their body is letting
them know that they're full.

Okay, guys. So, I want to thank
you for coming and joining us,

and I hope your experience
was great.

If you guys are ready,
we could go outside.

Oh, this shit
about to hurt. Watch.

Welcome to your world.

- I'm just kidding.
- Thank you for that.

- You're welcome.
- That was really cool.

- Bon appétit.
- Thank you so much. - I'm confused.

Jasper, you got all this
food on your face.

- I'm confused.
- I knew it was strawberry in there.

- Oh, you brought your plate?
- Yeah.

- Oh. - I bit a lot of
that, and I didn't like it.

- I didn't think about it.
- I spit that shit out.

- Okay.
- Here, y'all never had quinoa before?

Yeah, but I
don't like it, though.

- That was awesome.
- Thank you.

- Glad I got to do that.
- Yeah. The food was good.

There's some things I can't
imagine doing in the dark,

so I have a lot
of respect for that.

- Hey.
- That was kind of crazy.

We depend on, like, our hearing,
our smell, everything, you know?

I kept on touching you because
I know what you were wearing,

and I knew where you were at.

- The food was good.
- The food was really good.

I was sketched-out
on doing it at first,

but I'm always down
to try something.

Coming up...

See, but what they didn't know
is that I'm fast.

I'm a mother...
Olympian.

I've never in my life
heard of zombie tag.

Yeah. I don't know
what zombie tag is.

I - I never heard of it, but...

I've never, in my life,
heard of it.

I - I like zombies,
and I like tag,

so I might be into this.

I'm Christopher Wayne Thompson.

I am a zombie fiction writer.

We're gonna play tag

where, as a zombie you're
trying to touch somebody,

and as a human,
you're trying to touch them

on the shoulder to kill them.

Oh, yeah.
We're about to look scary.

I was always deathly afraid
of zombies.

So, when you see yourself
in the mirror,

you're gonna be afraid
of yourself?

Naw, I'm just not going to be
afraid of zombies

no more, because I've been one.

Ooh!
We facing the fear.

- Yeah.
- I got a hand out there. Shake it.

Facing the fear.
Yes.

I think one of my favorite scary
movies is "Dawn of the Dead,"

the one they remade,
like, in the 2000s.

Oh, yeah, yeah.
Oh, hell naw.

That was fire.

Nigga, that shit was scary as...

Yo. It is kind of scary,
still, bro.

- Are you scared?
- It's kind of scary, still, bro.

This is sick.
I like this a lot.

There's one zombie.
He starts off, right?

And you're all human.
And the idea

is to touch a zombie
on the shoulder to kill them.

Touches you anywhere,
you're now a zombie.

Go ahead.

How do I know if another
nigga a zombie

if nigga already
look like a zombie?

All right.
So, this is what you have to do.

As a zombie, arms out, right?

Oh, okay.

The last person to touch
that green garbage can is it.

- Come here, Lionel.
- Where the garbage can?

Dang.

- Errol it?
- Yeah.

See, but what they didn't know
is that I'm fast.

I'm a mother...
Olympian.

So, the three of us
will be zombies.

- Team Z!
- Try to touch our shoulder.

Boys, don't let them touch you.

All right.
Let's go.

What?
What happened?

I'm so far ahead of this game.

- Oh, shit!
- You can't run.

You're a zombie.
- Well, I'm nice! I'm nice!

- Mike is down.
- Where's the Z?

Are you a zombie?

I was hiding.
I was camouflaged.

Ha!

Oh, shit.

- Aw, yeah.
- We're done.

We're done, guys.
- Oh, my God.

We're... done.

- All right, zombies.
- I'm tired.

I just want everybody to know

that I played this game
the smartest.

For 5 seconds, that was one
of my worst nightmares.

It was a point
where I was running,

and I could see everybody.

Low-key, I was like,

"What the...?
What am I doing?"

Everybody that's a zombie,
go for the helicopter.

If he came to hit me
on the back,

I would just block him
and hit him.

You want to tell us a little
bit about why you got that towel

hanging out the back?

It's so I could I could wipe the
floor with you punk-ass niggas.

I'll wash your window, too,
when I'm done, jabroni.

All I know is you tango,
you let your hango.

My favorite fruit is a mango.
Hold up.

You seen that movie
with that one black guy, Django?