Jackie Chan Adventures (2000–2005): Season 2, Episode 3 - Snake Hunt - full transcript
Precursor to Enter the Viper, Jackie and Jade search for the Snake Talisman. They encounter the Dark Hand and an ambitious TV archaeologist.
Aah!
Hi, Jade.
(Gasping) Jackie.
Don't sneak up on me like that.
Oh, I was sneaking up on you?
You're supposed to
be back at the hotel.
Sure, limit my exposure
to other cultures.
Stifle my educational potential.
Jade, I'm only trying to stifle
your potential to be harmed.
What if the dark hand were
here, too,
looking for the snake talisman?
Did you find it?
Ah, not yet.
You'd think it were invisible.
Oh! The dark hand!
Stay here.
I thought you meant
here with you.
Welcome to another episode
of just the artifacts.
Your passage to the thrilling
world of archaeology.
I am your guide, Wesley rank.
And today, I have braved the
treacherous anaconda falls
to bring you to a secret site...
The legendary lost temple
of culebra gigante,
a monstrous serpent,
said to be thousands
of years old.
And look!
This ancient chalk drawing
clearly indicates
that a snake cult
once worshipped
their fearsome idol,
right here on this very spot.
Tsk.
Not much of a temple, is it?
And as for culebra itself, well...
(Laughs)
No big snakes around here.
What a goofball!
Jackie, why don't you get
in front of the camera
and tell him a thing or two?
Jade, I don't want to be on TV.
We are on a top-secret mission.
No one must know what
we're looking for.
You there!
Can't you see we're filming?
Who are you two?
Uh, we're, um...
Archeologists.
Stop that! I mean cut! Cut!
Edit them out.
Camera hog.
This is my dig.
There's nothing here for you. Go away.
What are you looking for anyway?
Uh... The exit. Bye-bye.
Chan...
We really have to stop
using the same travel agent.
The dark hand!
More archaeologists?
Quite the popular "secret" site.
The talisman.
I don't know what you're
talking about. Ohh!
Talisman?
The snake talisman.
(Grunts)
Hyah!
Aaii!
Oww! Ohh!
Whoa.
Wow! He's an archeologist?
Jackie's totally ready
to host his own show...
Educational,
but with an action/adventure slant.
We're thinking of calling
it Jackie chan can.
I'm the plucky cohost.
Aw, cut! Cut!
Edit that out, too.
Tch. Rank is totally rank.
Whoa... The snake talisman!
Hmm...
Talisman.
Whoaa!
Twofer. Jackie, look!
Busy, Jade.
Sorry. Camera loves him.
I want another shot of that.
Get in tight.
Down!
Aah! Aah!
(Gasping)
Ratso?
Ratso. Ratso!
Heh heh.
Did you see all the fishies?
Ow! - Ow! - Ow!
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Piranha! Piranha!
(Grunts)
Come on. The snake talisman
was part of the drawing.
Right over...
Here?
Oh, it's gone!
Destroyed!
The dark hand? No.
They were too preoccupied.
Then who?
And thus just the artifacts
has the exclusive scoop
on this infamous snake
talisman, whatever that is.
You do think
everyone was fighting
over the chalk
drawing, don't you?
Uh, maybe we should
ask an archeologist.
I am an a rcheologist.
Oh, right. Destroying
4,000-year-old drawings, yeah.
That's what archaeologists do.
Pipe down, you.
Oh...
(Cell phone rings) Hello?
Jackie,
did you find the snake talisman?
No, uncle.
There was only a big empty cave
with a drawing of
the snake talisman.
And a ton of bats.
Wha? You are not supposed
to be in a cave of bats.
You are supposed to be
in the temple of snakes,
guarded by one very big snake.
Well, there was no big
snake and no temple.
And now there is no drawing.
Well, we can always
see it on rank's show.
Or we can find rank now
and get a sneak preview.
Uh, no big v.
We haven't spotted chan yet.
In fact,
we're still at the airport.
A mix-up with the bags.
Yeah, I told tohru we should just do
carry on, but, hey, whatcha gonna do?
Yoop!
(Gasping) Hang on.
T-monster wants ya.
Rest assured, master.
We will find your talisman.
And I will break Jackie chan.
Time to tuck you in.
(Snoring)
We're in the middle of nowhere.
What are we going to view it on?
Tch. They do a TV show.
Bwaa!
Chirp chirp. Chirp chirp.
Chirp chirp. Chirp chirp.
Heh. Sorry.
Here you go. The talisman. See?
Yes. But what does it mean?
Aw, crikey!
Sorry we didn't rewind.
Thank you.
I had the weirdest dream...
A bird that chirp
like a car alarm.
That was no dream.
That was thieves!
Dahh... ahh... My tape.
Wait, they went to all this
trouble, and didn't take it.
Perhaps there's more to this
drawing than the drawing itself.
Ooh, that's deep.
Zip it, you.
Why does the snake
bite its own tail?
Maybe it can't see
what it's eating
because it's got a
talisman stuck in its eye.
The snake biting its tail
symbolizes the circle of life.
The end is in the beginning!
The drawing was a
map, telling us
that the talisman is at
the cave where we began.
In the eye of the snake?
Could be dangerous.
You're going back to the hotel.
Oh...
Hi, Jackie.
Jade, stop following me.
I got here first.
Technically, you followed me.
(Sighs)
Don't bother.
I checked everything.
No sign of a temple
or a talisman.
Whoa.
Score one for the jackster.
The temple of culebra gigante.
Right under our noses.
More like right above our heads.
Snake eye.
See Jackie?
Nothing to worry about.
The snake's not even real.
Wait here.
Yeah, yeah.
(Grunting)
(Sighs) Huh?
A snake!
Ahh! Ah!
Jackie, they're all snakes!
Bad snake, bad snake, bad snake.
Yaa.
Uhh!
Uhh. Ahh...
(Sighs)
Jackie, you scaled it!
Er, so to speak.
(Grunts)
Oh! Ohh!
I got it. I got it!
How wrong you are, little lady.
Eh, you there, camera guy.
Roll film, quickly.
Welcome, I'm Wesley rank,
and you're watching
just the artifacts
at the legendary once lost
temple of culebra gigante.
I have just braved
a treacherous climb
to the temple's harrowing
heights to bring you this...
The snake talisman.
Liar! Liar! Liar!
Ow! That hurt!
Edit that out.
Where did this mysterious
talisman come from?
Why was it here?
And what is that awful racket?
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Jade!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Yaaa!
Everything all right?
Maybe a sprain.
I meant the camera!
Now, point it at that exit.
Let's wrap this up.
Ohh! Uh...
Ohh...
Jackie, are you ok?
Oh, I will be
after a week in traction.
And with this phenomenal
find firmly in hand,
this is Wesley rank
bidding you farewell
till next time on
just the artifacts.
Daah! Aah! Aah! Aah!
Let me guess. Edit that out?
Seor gigante, I presume?
Oh! Why's he looking at me?
Because it is the
guardian of the temple,
and you have the talisman.
Yaaa!
I don't want it.
Here!
Careful, Jackie.
It's thropwing a hissy!
I get it.
It can't bite us up here.
It can't bite you up there!
Whoaa!
Uhh! Oh! Oh!
Ohh...
Jackie! Use the talisman!
We don't know what power it
has, too dangerous.
Tch, like jumbo the snake's not?
Crikey!
I didn't tell you to film that!
Hello... I'm blinding it.
Snakes don't have eyelids.
Aaah!
Jackie, climb up!
Me first. Me first.
You next.
Doesn't want me, man.
Hyah!
Uhh!
Throw me the vine.
Throw me the talisman.
Thank you.
The vine!
Nice guy.
(Growls)
Come on! Come on!
The network's gonna love this.
Aah!
(Nervous mumbling)
(Panting)
Sleazo took off
with the talisman.
(Humming) Get out of
here, on my way...
The talisman.
Yaa! Yaa! Yaa!
No sign of the flying monkeys.
Rats with wings.
I'll take the bats.
(Grunting)
Heh. It's all yours, mate.
Uh-oh.
Aah!
Oh...
Uh-oh. Uhoh.
Jade! Go! Go! Go!
Ooff! Oof!
Why are you still here?
Uh, camera guy was right.
I'm a jerk.
I couldn't leave
without apologizing...
Not now!
Run!
Aaaah!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Oh-ohh...
Gotcha. Aah!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Waaah!
(Coughing)
Waaah!
Incoming!
Belly flop!
Ow! Ow! Piranha!
Oh. I hate piranha. Ow. Ow.
(Sighs) Adios, culebra.
The only snake I ever want to see
after this is the snake talisman.
Huh? It's gone!
Rank.
What a snake!
Welcome. I'm Wesley rank,
and you're watching
just the artifacts
at the legendary once lost
temple of culebra gigante.
I have just braved
a treacherous climb
to the temple's harrowing
heights to bring you this...
The snake talisman.
I'm on TV!
Rank didn't edit that out?
Liar! Liar! Liar!
Ow! That hurt.
Aah! Aah! Aah! (Sobbing)
Welcome to a special edition
of just the artifacts.
Wesley rank may not know
how to treat little girls,
but he sure knows how
to scream like one.
Ha ha ha ha. I'm dino stefanson,
and I'll be your new guide.
Go, camera guy.
Look!
You'll also get the full scoop
on how we recovered
this rare snake talisman
from a local pawn
shop rank sold it to.
We, of course, donated the
artifact to the New York museum.
(Sigh) After what
we've been through,
getting the talisman from
the museum should be a snap.
We're off to the jungle.
New York, the concrete jungle.
Duh.
Man: Hey, Jackie. - Yes.
Have you ever worked with
any dangerous animals?
Lion. Lion. Yes. In Africa.
Small... small lion.
I picked up the
lion, hi, hi, hi.
But the native, the small...
The native, aah! Aah! Aah!
I said, what? What?
But the mom come behind me.
Then I run,
climb up to the tree.
The lion, grr, grr, grr!
Almost touch my feet.
Remember,
lion can climb up to the tree.
Hi, Jade.
(Gasping) Jackie.
Don't sneak up on me like that.
Oh, I was sneaking up on you?
You're supposed to
be back at the hotel.
Sure, limit my exposure
to other cultures.
Stifle my educational potential.
Jade, I'm only trying to stifle
your potential to be harmed.
What if the dark hand were
here, too,
looking for the snake talisman?
Did you find it?
Ah, not yet.
You'd think it were invisible.
Oh! The dark hand!
Stay here.
I thought you meant
here with you.
Welcome to another episode
of just the artifacts.
Your passage to the thrilling
world of archaeology.
I am your guide, Wesley rank.
And today, I have braved the
treacherous anaconda falls
to bring you to a secret site...
The legendary lost temple
of culebra gigante,
a monstrous serpent,
said to be thousands
of years old.
And look!
This ancient chalk drawing
clearly indicates
that a snake cult
once worshipped
their fearsome idol,
right here on this very spot.
Tsk.
Not much of a temple, is it?
And as for culebra itself, well...
(Laughs)
No big snakes around here.
What a goofball!
Jackie, why don't you get
in front of the camera
and tell him a thing or two?
Jade, I don't want to be on TV.
We are on a top-secret mission.
No one must know what
we're looking for.
You there!
Can't you see we're filming?
Who are you two?
Uh, we're, um...
Archeologists.
Stop that! I mean cut! Cut!
Edit them out.
Camera hog.
This is my dig.
There's nothing here for you. Go away.
What are you looking for anyway?
Uh... The exit. Bye-bye.
Chan...
We really have to stop
using the same travel agent.
The dark hand!
More archaeologists?
Quite the popular "secret" site.
The talisman.
I don't know what you're
talking about. Ohh!
Talisman?
The snake talisman.
(Grunts)
Hyah!
Aaii!
Oww! Ohh!
Whoa.
Wow! He's an archeologist?
Jackie's totally ready
to host his own show...
Educational,
but with an action/adventure slant.
We're thinking of calling
it Jackie chan can.
I'm the plucky cohost.
Aw, cut! Cut!
Edit that out, too.
Tch. Rank is totally rank.
Whoa... The snake talisman!
Hmm...
Talisman.
Whoaa!
Twofer. Jackie, look!
Busy, Jade.
Sorry. Camera loves him.
I want another shot of that.
Get in tight.
Down!
Aah! Aah!
(Gasping)
Ratso?
Ratso. Ratso!
Heh heh.
Did you see all the fishies?
Ow! - Ow! - Ow!
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Piranha! Piranha!
(Grunts)
Come on. The snake talisman
was part of the drawing.
Right over...
Here?
Oh, it's gone!
Destroyed!
The dark hand? No.
They were too preoccupied.
Then who?
And thus just the artifacts
has the exclusive scoop
on this infamous snake
talisman, whatever that is.
You do think
everyone was fighting
over the chalk
drawing, don't you?
Uh, maybe we should
ask an archeologist.
I am an a rcheologist.
Oh, right. Destroying
4,000-year-old drawings, yeah.
That's what archaeologists do.
Pipe down, you.
Oh...
(Cell phone rings) Hello?
Jackie,
did you find the snake talisman?
No, uncle.
There was only a big empty cave
with a drawing of
the snake talisman.
And a ton of bats.
Wha? You are not supposed
to be in a cave of bats.
You are supposed to be
in the temple of snakes,
guarded by one very big snake.
Well, there was no big
snake and no temple.
And now there is no drawing.
Well, we can always
see it on rank's show.
Or we can find rank now
and get a sneak preview.
Uh, no big v.
We haven't spotted chan yet.
In fact,
we're still at the airport.
A mix-up with the bags.
Yeah, I told tohru we should just do
carry on, but, hey, whatcha gonna do?
Yoop!
(Gasping) Hang on.
T-monster wants ya.
Rest assured, master.
We will find your talisman.
And I will break Jackie chan.
Time to tuck you in.
(Snoring)
We're in the middle of nowhere.
What are we going to view it on?
Tch. They do a TV show.
Bwaa!
Chirp chirp. Chirp chirp.
Chirp chirp. Chirp chirp.
Heh. Sorry.
Here you go. The talisman. See?
Yes. But what does it mean?
Aw, crikey!
Sorry we didn't rewind.
Thank you.
I had the weirdest dream...
A bird that chirp
like a car alarm.
That was no dream.
That was thieves!
Dahh... ahh... My tape.
Wait, they went to all this
trouble, and didn't take it.
Perhaps there's more to this
drawing than the drawing itself.
Ooh, that's deep.
Zip it, you.
Why does the snake
bite its own tail?
Maybe it can't see
what it's eating
because it's got a
talisman stuck in its eye.
The snake biting its tail
symbolizes the circle of life.
The end is in the beginning!
The drawing was a
map, telling us
that the talisman is at
the cave where we began.
In the eye of the snake?
Could be dangerous.
You're going back to the hotel.
Oh...
Hi, Jackie.
Jade, stop following me.
I got here first.
Technically, you followed me.
(Sighs)
Don't bother.
I checked everything.
No sign of a temple
or a talisman.
Whoa.
Score one for the jackster.
The temple of culebra gigante.
Right under our noses.
More like right above our heads.
Snake eye.
See Jackie?
Nothing to worry about.
The snake's not even real.
Wait here.
Yeah, yeah.
(Grunting)
(Sighs) Huh?
A snake!
Ahh! Ah!
Jackie, they're all snakes!
Bad snake, bad snake, bad snake.
Yaa.
Uhh!
Uhh. Ahh...
(Sighs)
Jackie, you scaled it!
Er, so to speak.
(Grunts)
Oh! Ohh!
I got it. I got it!
How wrong you are, little lady.
Eh, you there, camera guy.
Roll film, quickly.
Welcome, I'm Wesley rank,
and you're watching
just the artifacts
at the legendary once lost
temple of culebra gigante.
I have just braved
a treacherous climb
to the temple's harrowing
heights to bring you this...
The snake talisman.
Liar! Liar! Liar!
Ow! That hurt!
Edit that out.
Where did this mysterious
talisman come from?
Why was it here?
And what is that awful racket?
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Jade!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Yaaa!
Everything all right?
Maybe a sprain.
I meant the camera!
Now, point it at that exit.
Let's wrap this up.
Ohh! Uh...
Ohh...
Jackie, are you ok?
Oh, I will be
after a week in traction.
And with this phenomenal
find firmly in hand,
this is Wesley rank
bidding you farewell
till next time on
just the artifacts.
Daah! Aah! Aah! Aah!
Let me guess. Edit that out?
Seor gigante, I presume?
Oh! Why's he looking at me?
Because it is the
guardian of the temple,
and you have the talisman.
Yaaa!
I don't want it.
Here!
Careful, Jackie.
It's thropwing a hissy!
I get it.
It can't bite us up here.
It can't bite you up there!
Whoaa!
Uhh! Oh! Oh!
Ohh...
Jackie! Use the talisman!
We don't know what power it
has, too dangerous.
Tch, like jumbo the snake's not?
Crikey!
I didn't tell you to film that!
Hello... I'm blinding it.
Snakes don't have eyelids.
Aaah!
Jackie, climb up!
Me first. Me first.
You next.
Doesn't want me, man.
Hyah!
Uhh!
Throw me the vine.
Throw me the talisman.
Thank you.
The vine!
Nice guy.
(Growls)
Come on! Come on!
The network's gonna love this.
Aah!
(Nervous mumbling)
(Panting)
Sleazo took off
with the talisman.
(Humming) Get out of
here, on my way...
The talisman.
Yaa! Yaa! Yaa!
No sign of the flying monkeys.
Rats with wings.
I'll take the bats.
(Grunting)
Heh. It's all yours, mate.
Uh-oh.
Aah!
Oh...
Uh-oh. Uhoh.
Jade! Go! Go! Go!
Ooff! Oof!
Why are you still here?
Uh, camera guy was right.
I'm a jerk.
I couldn't leave
without apologizing...
Not now!
Run!
Aaaah!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Oh-ohh...
Gotcha. Aah!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Waaah!
(Coughing)
Waaah!
Incoming!
Belly flop!
Ow! Ow! Piranha!
Oh. I hate piranha. Ow. Ow.
(Sighs) Adios, culebra.
The only snake I ever want to see
after this is the snake talisman.
Huh? It's gone!
Rank.
What a snake!
Welcome. I'm Wesley rank,
and you're watching
just the artifacts
at the legendary once lost
temple of culebra gigante.
I have just braved
a treacherous climb
to the temple's harrowing
heights to bring you this...
The snake talisman.
I'm on TV!
Rank didn't edit that out?
Liar! Liar! Liar!
Ow! That hurt.
Aah! Aah! Aah! (Sobbing)
Welcome to a special edition
of just the artifacts.
Wesley rank may not know
how to treat little girls,
but he sure knows how
to scream like one.
Ha ha ha ha. I'm dino stefanson,
and I'll be your new guide.
Go, camera guy.
Look!
You'll also get the full scoop
on how we recovered
this rare snake talisman
from a local pawn
shop rank sold it to.
We, of course, donated the
artifact to the New York museum.
(Sigh) After what
we've been through,
getting the talisman from
the museum should be a snap.
We're off to the jungle.
New York, the concrete jungle.
Duh.
Man: Hey, Jackie. - Yes.
Have you ever worked with
any dangerous animals?
Lion. Lion. Yes. In Africa.
Small... small lion.
I picked up the
lion, hi, hi, hi.
But the native, the small...
The native, aah! Aah! Aah!
I said, what? What?
But the mom come behind me.
Then I run,
climb up to the tree.
The lion, grr, grr, grr!
Almost touch my feet.
Remember,
lion can climb up to the tree.