It Takes a Thief (1968–1970): Season 1, Episode 6 - Totally by Design - full transcript

Parole has reminded that you are not to
leave quarters without
an assigned escort.

I have an escort.

My parole officer.

You look great.

Thank you.

Um, aren't these clothes
you gave me a little snug?

No, I wouldn't say that.

But we're going to have to rent
you some skis when we get up there.

Oh, come right in.

You remember my telling you
that life is full of pleasant surprises?

Here's one right now.



Noah Bain to see us
off with a hearty farewell.

You were going skiing?

Yes.

The parolee made
reservations at a lodge,

and since he was Olympic
champion, it seemed

like a healthy outlet.

Olympic champion?

Well, I don't like to make a point of it.

Exactly where did you say this lodge was?

The Chesapeake Lodge.

In the Chesapeake Mountains.

Oh, I didn't know there was a ski
lodge in the Chesapeake Mountains.

Well, it's not exactly a lodge.

It's more like a...



Cabin.

More like that.

In the Chesapeake Mountains.

Well, it's not exactly in the mountains.

Oh, you drive past the
mountains to get there.

You've done some
skiing yourself, huh, Noah?

Once or twice.

I'll take charge of the parolee, thank you.

Yes, sir.

We'll work something out later.

Don't plan on it.

She'll be reassigned in your absence.

Absence?

Mm-hmm.

You're going to Ocarina, a
small Persian Gulf country.

What do they have worth stealing?

Twelve and a half million dollars.

That's worth stealing.

Who has it?

General Kune, the local dictator.

He's managed to promote twenty-five
million dollars worth of agricultural

equipment from the State
Department six months ago.

Then he sold it to the neighboring
sheikdom Amwait for half price.

Twelve and a half million.

That's a very good deal.

Mm-hmm.

For him.

Oh, yes.

But our intelligence has discovered
that he's contracted to buy some jet

aircraft with that twelve and a
half million and take over Amwait.

It's vital that we stop that transaction.

If the general takes Amwait, it could
upset the balance of power there,

which could easily escalate
into another international crisis.

Where do I find the money?

The money is in a Swiss bank.

So the general
exchanges the numbered

passbook to the
account for the planes.

Unfortunately, we don't know
where he keeps the passbook.

He wouldn't carry it on, so we figure
he keeps it under lock and key in the

presidential palace.

And without the passbook, he can't
get the twelve and a half million dollars

out of the Swiss bank
to buy the airplanes?

Not only that.

Anyone who presents the
passbook can get the money.

Like me?

Like Uncle Sam.

When do I leave?

Soon as it's ready.

Look, I don't mind traveling the tourist
economy occasionally,
but that's ridiculous.

Customs and immigration security are
very tight in Nokareena, much more so

with visitors than they are
with properly marked freight.

I'll bet.

Besides, it's perfectly
comfortable and quite safe.

Would it be prying too much to
ask what usually goes in that box?

Among other things, chemical fertilizer.

I'm glad you said chemical.

Oh, look, Al, I'm not asking you to spy.

Just asking you to steal.

(It takes a thief theme playing)

Welcome to Nokareena.

Thanks.

Did you have a nice trip?

First crate I ever traveled in.

Sorry.

Incidentally, where am I?

I told you, Nokareena.

I mean where in Nokareena?

Oh, man.

You're on the third floor of a warehouse.

This is my room.

And I'm Anna Martine.

Now Monday.

I know.

A little bit to the left.

Boy, they don't treat the
agents like they used to.

Traveling in crates, living in warehouses.

Thanks.

Good for my cover.

You're supposed to be an
agricultural research expert.

Would you like some coffee?

Yes.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Do you know anything
about agricultural research?

I majored in it at college.

That's why Noah set it up that way.

Well, you could have fooled me.

No.

Hmm.

You're so attractive, I'd expect
you to be in the international set.

Not fooling around with some rabbit.

Perhaps we ought to get one
shit straight right at the beginning.

Shoot.

You've got quite a reputation
amongst the agents, Mr. Monday.

You can call me Al.

Mr. Monday.

Al.

As I was saying.

I have a reputation.

I assure you I deserve it.

You do?

Absolutely.

I am by far the best thief they
ever coerced into working for them.

That's not the reputation
I was talking about.

No?

No.

What I was referring to was, shall
we say, your romantic activities.

Oh.

I mean, just so we
understand each other,

I'm not in the market
for any extracurricular

hanky-panky.

You don't know how that relieves my mind.

I don't know how
that rumor got started,

but it sure has given
me a lot of trouble.

Every time I work with a girl, she
expects me to make a pass at her.

So I'm glad you and I see eye to eye.

Strictly business, right?

You shake hands like a man.

You want to brief me on the set up?

Sure.

You can see the palace from over here.

I've studied it very
carefully, and you

can forget about
breaking into this place.

Well, dictators don't
usually run an open house.

I have to find another
way of getting inside.

Who's that?

Madame Gamar, the General's wife.

You been a man with her?

Colonel Parvez, security chief.

She never goes out in public without him.

When she does go out, where does she go?

What's her usual routine?

Her usual routine is that she
stays inside the palace grounds.

When she does go out,
generally it's to shop.

Where?

The most expensive place, naturally.

What do you think?

It's beautiful.

Did the General like
the last one you bought?

Yes, of course.

Why do you ask?

I thought if he liked
the last gown, he would

surely find this one
even more pleasing.

Yes, that's true.

Excuse me.

Hello.

I understand that one may find
some unusual silk prints here.

Yes, we do have some very nice silks.

Then perhaps I can see them.

One minute, please.

Oh, excellent.

Are there any duplicates of these anywhere?

No, sir.

These are hand-woven locally.

No pattern is ever made the same.

Splendid.

When I give an exclusive to the Princess
on my designs, she must also have

an exclusive on the fabric.

I'll wish to have these
shipped, please, to Monaco.

Monaco?

Yes, you can send them in my name.

Oscar Morel, care of the Princess.

Yes, of course, Mr. Morel.

One minute, please.

Excuse me, I'll be right back.

Madame, Madame, you'll
never guess who's out there.

I beg your pardon, Mr. Morel?

Yes, will you prepare the bill, please?

I'm afraid I have to leave.

Sir, you are addressing Madame Gomar.

Oh, it's quite all right.

He would have no way of knowing.

Oh, Madame Gomar, I've
heard so much about you.

Is this the General?

No, I am Colonel Parvis.

You may relax.

You said you had heard of me.

Yes, yes I have.

In Paris a month ago,
there was talk of you.

Cardon said something.

I don't recall quite
what it was, but the

impression was that
you were being watched

very closely, fashion-wise, that is.

But what do you think?

Oh, well, obviously Madame
wears very expensive clothes.

You don't approve?

Am I permitted to speak freely, Madame?

Oh, yes, please do.

A woman of your beauty and obvious
attributes with the proper designing

could be the new leader of the
European fashion scene, without question.

What do you mean by proper design?

Well, perhaps one day I'll be
here again and I can show you.

Can't you do it now?

Ah, but that I could.

Her Highness saw some
of my designs in New

York and insisted that
I design exclusively

for her.

So for the past few
weeks I've been traveling

in search of new
and exotic fabrics.

Now I must return to her
and begin her collection.

Would a few days make such
a difference to the Princess?

Ah, well, you know how princesses are.

Naturally, I would expect
to make it with your work.

Oh, Madame Gomar, money is
no object if I consent, if I consent.

It's because of the challenge to
create a new international style figure.

You will do it then?

Madame, you are most persuasive.

An immigration check on this,
Mr. Morel, the usual procedure.

What do you know about women's fashions?

It's not what I know now that's important.

It's how much I'll
know when we go to the

palace to create some
delectable visions for

Madame Gomar.

It won't work.

It's got to work, so get busy.

I picked these up on the way back here.

There's got to be something
in here we can copy.

As a matter of fact, I've always
thought that I could do a lot better than

some of the things
I've seen women wear.

Present company accepted, of course.

How do you propose to
begin this crash course?

By using you as a model for Madame Gomar.

Of course, she's a little more here
and there, but I've got a rough idea of

how to handle it.

That's what I love about you.

You always say the right thing.

It makes a girl feel warm all over.

I didn't say I liked her figure.

I just said it was there.

Personally, I prefer...

Never mind.

Never mind.

Just drape this over my shoulder.

Voila.

Madame will be the talk of the
continent in this ravishing creation, so

stylish, so chic, so
formidab, so desirable.

Careful.

All right.

What's next?

You're the couturier.

Take it from here.

I guess there's a little bit more
to this designing than I thought.

Well, back to the old drawing board.

I have an appointment with Madame Gomar.

Your name?

Oscar Morel.

This is my assistant.

What's in there?

Materials from Madame Gomar.

Open it.

Park in the courtyard.

A gift from Madame Gomar.

She wouldn't expect the Meister to
carry his own sample case, would you?

The place looks deserted.

Not quite.

The carpet we're on has
an electric grid under it.

Well, I guess as the whole place is wired.

This way, please.

Madame?

Madame?

Come in.

Madame.
- Mr. Morel

May I present my assistant, Miss Martine.

How do you do?

Madame.

Thank you, Colonel.

May I offer you some tea?

No, thank you.

You entertain here.

Small intimate groups of women for tea?

I have few intimate friends.

In my husband's position, it's...

Ah, the penalty of power.

I see.

Does the Princess?

Ladies of the court.

Her favorite committees.

I hope one day to meet her.

She is most charming.

But no more charming than Madame.

Do you have a creation in mind?

I never have any creations in mind.

Until I study the woman
that I'm creating for.

Either she inspires
me or... The gold am I.

Yes, that will do for this room.

It's lovely.

Mark that number one.

Now for the other rooms.

What do you mean?

Oh, for the Princess.

I designed a different gown
for every room in the palace.

I call it... Total Design.

Is this all you're going to do with this?

What?

For now, yes.

But I thought... If
Madame is dissatisfied...

Oh, no, no.

Whatever you say.

Precisely.

I checked with immigration.

There was no visa
issued to any else, Carmel.

Did you check with the hotels?

Is not registered at any of them.

Shall I inform the general?

No, I'll take care of it personally.

Yes, sir.

That is the belt of the prophet.

Its value in dollars is beyond estimates.

Is it possible to get a closer look?

Of course to our people, its true
value is a symbolic unity of our historic

ties to our neighboring
nation, Amwit.

It is protected by
those electronic devices.

If you so much as
touch the case... I'm

sorry, I'm so naive
about that sort of thing.

I suppose the general is
the only one who can open it.

No, only the Grand Moula
has the keys to the control.

This afternoon, the ceremony will be
held here and the belt passed to the

ruler of Amwit for
safekeeping for six months.

That's only fair.

Put through a cable
approving delivery and

reminding them that
I will only turn over

a passbook after inspection and delivery.

The wind of the planes arrives, sir.

You'll be informed, Colonel.

If I may suggest to the general, in
the days ahead there will be need for

someone of proven loyalty.

Uh-huh.

Chief of staff, perhaps?

I shall do my utmost to prove
myself worthy of consideration.

Ah, yes, I'm sure you will.

I must prepare for the ceremony.

Our guest will be here soon.

This is Colonel Parvis.

I wish to run a security check
through our legation in New York.

Yes, verification of one Oscar
Morel, a designer of women's fashions.

Women's fashions.

Now, if you'll just hold it right there,
my assistant will finish making her preliminay sketch.

I think we'll try the general's office.

Ah, that's fine.

Now, if you'll just
hold that pose while my

assistant finishes
pinning it, be sure not

to move.

I want the drape to be absolutely perfect.

Lovely.

Please.

Thank you.

What on earth is going on here?

Allow me to introduce myself.

I'm Oscar Morel of New York.

My assistant, Miss Martine.

General.

Mr. Morel is a famous
coutrier, and he has

consented to create
an entire wardrobe for

me.

In my office?

It's very important
that he see the entire

palace, just as he
did for Princess Grace.

I specialize in total design, harmonizing
the gowns with the background,

creating a complete entity.

I see.

My guest will arrive very soon.

I suggest that Mr. Morel and the
young lady wait in your quarters.

Don't trouble yourself, General.

We're perfectly comfortable here.

I think you will be even more comfortable
in Madame Garmart's sitting room,

if you insist.

I'll see you in your sitting room, Madame.

Do you like this style?
- Oh, yes, yes. Its very nice.

You don't like it?

I would like everything you wear.

What did I wear last night?

Last night?

Oh, never mind.

I never should have asked.

Please, let's not start that again.

Certainly not today.

There's never any time for
anything anymore, is there?

Please escort Madame
Garmart to her quarters.

I almost forgot.

Affairs of state.

Sorry.

Get the car and wait for
me by the side entrance.

If I'm not there within a half
an hour, take off without me.

Why?

What are you going to do?

I'm going to take a crack at
the safe during the ceremony.

Can I help?

You can't help from now on.

Besides, if I blow it, there's no
sense in both of us getting caught.

My orders would have stayed.

I'm giving the orders from now on.

Ah, Madame Garmart.

I'm afraid Miss Martine will have to leave.

One of us has to press on to make
our apologies to Princess Grace.

God, will you show the young lady out?

Oh, this does look lovely on you.

I'd almost forgotten.

This is the day of the
ceremony, the belt of the prophet.

Oh, yes.

You'll be going to the ceremony, of course.

No, I am not allowed.

This probably will
sound foolish, but with

the belt being removed
today, I'm surprised

that there isn't more security here.

Oh, there is.

This carpet we are walking
on, it contains an alarm system.

Isn't that clever?

But it doesn't seem to be turned on now.

As soon as all of the
guests are inside the

throne room, the
circuits are turned on.

If anyone steps foot in this corridor,
even the slightest touch, all of the

alarms will go off.

So you see, there is a
certain amount of security here.

Yes, there is a relief.

Salam, Raman.

Salam.

The Mullah is waiting
for us in the throne room.

Come.

Yes?

Just a moment.

Colonel, it's for you.

This is Colonel Parvis.

Oh, yes.

New York is sure about that.

Never been by that name.

You are certain?

No, no, no.

All right, all right.

Now, that's all for now.

I'm sure Madame's husband
will be pleased with the selection.

I'm afraid he wouldn't
notice if I were

wearing an original
creation or a gunnysack.

I shouldn't have said that.

My husband is a very busy man.

He has many responsibilities.

Of course.

When he was a lieutenant,
he was a very busy man.

He was a very busy man.

Of course.

When he was a lieutenant, I used to
pass by this palace and wonder what

would it be like to live
in such a place as this.

We used to talk about it many times.

In those days, I could afford
two, three dresses a year.

He used to enjoy going shopping with me.

He had very definite tastes
about how he wanted me to look.

I didn't agree with him.

But I bought what he wanted me to.

Just to please him.

Take it as well.

I'm sorry.

Did you ever follow through on
that land development deal in Italy?

I had a management company
in London check up on it.

I must say it didn't look as
inviting on close inspection.

No, that's most unfortunate.

Yes.

Where is your son coming home from school?

Well, if his marks
have not improved this

term, he may be afraid
to come home at all.

[Music]

Since you've been on a government
payroll for months without working,

the least you can do is
create a little diversion.

[Music]

Did you find anyone?

Evidently a rabbit triggered the alarm.

A rabbit? Here?

Yes, sir. It may have been
set loose to create a diversion.

By whom?

It is difficult to say, sir, but perhaps
we should look in on Mr. Morrell.

At ease!

Brother, a thousand pardons. It is really most embarrassing.
Of course, I only try to protect you.

Please follow the guards to my quarters.

[Music].

Come on! Come on!

[Music]

What are you doing in the General's office?

Hey, look at that!

[Music]

You are intrigued by the belt
of the Prophet, Mr. Morrell?

In this part of the world, the conventions
of justice change rather slowly.

For example, even
today, a man will have

his arm cut off for
attempting a theft.

In your case, this arm.

[Music]

Are you all right?

Yes.

Perhaps in future
it would be better if

you'd patronize local
fashion designers.

What is it?

Alhamma is leaving, sir.

I'll be right there.
I must complete the ceremony.

Yes, by all means.

Madame, rest assured,
that man will be punished.

True. The thief has
been caught, but

the incident should
have been prevented.

Again a thousand pardons, brother.

The most regrettable incident.

I'm not accustomed to
being held at gunpoint.

Oh, well. My guards
are acting instinctively

to protect me. You
must understand that?

It does not lessen the insult.

As you wish.

One of your wives, the French
one, I can't recall her name.

How is she?

Her tongue is still as sharp as ever.

She always received such pleasure
from showing off the belt of the prophet

to her friends.

I trust she won't be disappointed,
not having the belt on display this year?

I accept your apology.

(music)

I'm sorry. It will not open.

Please, Your Eminence. Try again.

Only the Mulday's to know the combination.
You know the law.

I will order a new
display case for it and

have it installed
under his supervision.

And now I must examine
it because he can't open it.

We will both examine it.

I'm sorry.
- Please, Your Eminence.

No wonder. The time lock.
It's gone beyond the time.

And it cannot be opened for another month.
A pity.

Now that we both know the combination,
and it will have to be replaced, I.

can have it forcibly opened.

But who could do that without damaging
the belt? It would take a specialist.

That will be all. I trust you find
your quarters comfortable, sir?

Yes.

I don't think you came here
for the belt of the Prophet.

You're in the minority.

But then I'm the only one who has
examined the safe in the General's office.

And if you really were after the belt,
why would you break into the safe?

What do you want?

You came here after twelve
and one half million dollars.

I'd never steal that much
money. How would I carry

it out? Besides, I wouldn't
have time to count it.

My dear friend, I am the
one who informed the SIA.

Anonymously, of course.

And I let you play out your
scheme until I was sure about you.

Now I am.

So tell me.

Is it the passbook with the belt?

A little power play of your own, Colonel?

I'm going to take over this
country one way or another.

It would have been nice if the SIA
could have stopped the General for me.

But I suppose one can't have everything.

You know, I can save your arm.

What are you doing here?
- I was just interrogating the prisoner, sir.

We need your services.

Which of my services?

You've caused us to go beyond
the time for opening the case.

You will now finish what you
began before we interrupted you.

Bring him to the throne room.

We may still do some business.

[music].

That's enough.

Take him back to his cell.

Yes, I'm finished here.

The belt of the Prophet.

The symbol of unity and brotherhood and all the bonds that tie these two
countries together.

It passes from one to the other.

Do you have it?

Get to your post.

Very well.

Escape.

Escape?

Yes, I suggest you go this way.

[music]

[gunshots]

Prisoners attempting an escape.
Sound the alarm. Shoot to kill.

What's happened?

I think we'd better have a talk, General.

Not now.

Now.

[music]

Don't move, Mr. Morelli.

Get down.

Perhaps before I turn
you over to the guards,

you would care to
explain your behavior.

Well, it would take quite a while.
I doubt if there's time.

Yes, you'd like. I will call the guards.

Wait. Before you do, I'd like to
apologize for the way that I treated you.

Unfortunately, I had no choice.

That little book I saw you put in your
pocket. You came here to steal that.

Yes, I did.

And you made up
all that about being

a couturier, just to
get inside the palace?

Yes.

No woman likes to
be made a fool of,

Mr. Morali. Or whatever
your real name is.

You're right, madame. I'm sorry.

Without that
passbook, my husband

will not get the plane
he's after, will he?

No.

Then you'd better hurry.

But... go.

Your colonel just tried that.

What do you mean?

He pretended to help me escape,
then he tried to shoot me in the back.

But I want you to escape with the passbook.

Whose side are you on?

My own.

I don't follow you.

I happen to love my husband very much.

I want him here with me. Not off
somewhere playing Alexander the Great.

Doesn't that answer your question?

Well, I'd buy it a lot quicker if you
didn't have that gun pointed at me.

Oh.

Here.

It's not loaded.

Do you know they'll never think of
looking for you in Madame's quarters?

My guards are loyal to me.
In case you'll neglect it to consider that.

Your guards will not
know that I killed you.

They'll assume you've been
assassinated by the intruder.

What if my wife should come in?

Oh, he will have killed her too.

Ah.

You don't really
believe I'll do it, do you?

Ah, yes.

I do believe you.

I've seen traitors before.

As you will, once you assume my position.

I shall be more intelligent than you were.

I shan't humiliate a
colonel by making him

accompany a woman
on shopping expeditions.

My wife is my most prized possession.

I consider it an honour
to trust her to your care.

Well, I shall have more important
things to do when the planes arrive.

With this passbook.

He's all yours.

Guards!

Come in.

Take him to a cell at once.

All right, help him pick her up.

You did that?

I heard what you said to him.

About me being your most prized possession.

Ah, yes, well.

It was very odd, but the moment I was facing death,
you where the one I thought of.

Ah.

I just saw them carry Colonel Parvis out.

Is he ill?

Ill?

My trusted aide, Colonel Parvis,
has been plotting to depose me.

And attack your country.

I'm grateful to you that you discovered it.

Yes, it was most fortunate.

Especially for my wife and myself.

And also because he would have shattered
the traditional friendship between

our two countries.

Yes.

Now, shall we continue with the ceremony?

By all means.

My dear.

But women are not supposed
to be present at the ceremony.

I know.

Perhaps our dear friend is
willing to make an exception?

Of course.

I found a driver.

All right, you, to that spot marked
on your map and I'm watching you.

I was so worried about you.

Why, Miss Martine?

Stop it, will you?

I haven't even started yet.

A friend of mine has a model
farm in the Chesapeake Valley.

I think you'd be very interested in it.

I think I would.

There's a little inn on my way. We could stop and have dinner,
very small, very private.

Sounds great.

And out of bounds to the parolee.

Don't bother to knock.
My house is your house.

I know.

Here's your ticket.

Car's outside waiting
to take you to the airport.

Where is she going?
- Paris.

As an agricultural research expert?

No, as a member of the international set.

Well, bye.
- Au revoir.

It was charming.

I know Paris like the inside of your pocket. Isn't there something there I
could steal for you?

The Mona Lisa, the Eiffel Tower?

Well, it was a thought.

All right, Monitor. It's your move.

You stole my night.

Sorry.

(Music).