It Takes a Thief (1968–1970): Season 1, Episode 3 - When Boy Meets Girl - full transcript









































Mr. Mundy.

Come with us, please.

Why not?


Yes, Vasily. I understand the reception
is important. I even understand that

you are important.

But what I don't understand is why
you petty bureaucrats insist on turning a

simple reception into a
jungle of complications.

Stop wasting my time
with your telephone calls.

I apprehended him at the terminal, sir.

Back to your duty stations.

I'm Captain Kovic. Your passport.


What do you want here? Political asylum?

A vacation, that's all. I'm waiting
for cooler weather before I go back.

Where are the jewels?

What jewels?

I have Hortense's luggage searched.

And if he does have them, which I
doubt... Then what do you do, Lieutenant?

Send them back to England with our
compliments and hope that Scotland Yard

will promote you?

Yes. Yes, Vasily. What is it now?

Protocol is not my concern.
Just one moment.

I called you here to make one thing clear.

Steal as many English jewels as you like.

But as long as you take
refuge here, watch yourself.

Don't cause me any discomfort.

For if you so much as
undertip a waiter, I'll deport you.

Now get out of here.

Yes, Vasily. Yes.

Goodbye, Captain. Nice talking to you.


For the last time, Vasily, stop
bothering me with your insipid questions.


Don't you think we should put him
under surveillance while he's here?

You're very efficient, Verroc.

Young and reasonably clever.

Always the right suggestion
at the proper time.

Admirable for a young
lieutenant who would

soon perhaps want
to become a captain.

Sir, my suggestion was only...

Yes, yes, yes. Well, you'd
better hurry or you'll lose him.

Kovic here.


Thank you, Mr. Mundy.


We're being followed.

You're being followed.

I thought we were in this together.

Whatever it is.

How much did Rain tell you?

Just that I'm to get some
information and bring it back.

Where did you think the
information was to come from?


I may grow to like this assignment.

Tell me more.

Her name's Melinda Brooke.

She worked as a confidential secretary
to one of the top men in the British

anti-missile missile department.

Cleared for security
all the way to the top.

One day she disappeared and
turned up here working for them.

That was six months ago.

What are we supposed to get from her?

I get it.

You just get me to her and
take the information back.

All right.

What kind of information are
you supposed to get from her?

How far along they are in the same
work, how much she managed to give them.

I've got a list of questions.

And you expect her to tell you
whatever you want to know?

That's why we're here.

Look, I know this is a rough league.

I've read a lot about how you guys operate.

Really? Tell me.

Torturing beautiful young
girls isn't exactly my line of work.

I know what your line of work is.

You do your job and I'll do mine.

There's where she'll be tonight.

You can't see the house from
here, but I've got a floor plan of it.

They're giving a big reception.

She'll be one of the guests.

If I pick a reception, why not nail it
where she works or where she lives?

Ordinarily, you can't get
near her with a ten-foot pole.

That's why we pick tonight
when there'll be a big crowd.

Well, isn't that going to be a little
difficult to take her out of there?

I mean, with all those people around?

We don't take her out.

All we need is 15 minutes alone with her.

And she'll tell you what you want to know?

That's right.

You don't volunteer
much information, do you?

The less you know, the less they
can get out of you if you get caught.

You don't seem to be
overflowing with confidence in me.

Gaines said you were a big-time thief.

I had my moments.

You were in jail when he found you.

Well, we all make mistakes.

Not in this league.

Keep this for me. I'll need it later.

And remember, wait for me tonight.

I don't know what time
I'll make it, but I'll be there.

How are you going to shake Verrock?

The less you know, the less they
can get out of you if you get caught.










I'm surprised at you, Lieutenant.

You've been following me.


Your interest in jewels apparently
knows no bounds, Mr. Mundy.

Can't a peace-loving tourist visit
this country and view some of your

historical artifacts?

Even if they happen to be the
crown jewels of the old royal family?

I'm surprised the man of your
reputation isn't more cautious.

In any event, I'm deporting
you tomorrow morning.

Captain, I haven't done anything.

Mr. Mundy, I am an overworked,
unappreciated servant of the state,

faced every day with the complex
and demanding problems of our society.

Many of these problems
defy solution, but you do not.

You I can handle, so I deport you.

Captain, you can't do this to me.

That's precisely the point. I can.

And then I don't have to concern
myself whether your interest in our crown

jewels is professional.

I eliminate you and that question.

Well, I guess there's
not much point in arguing.

Take these off and
I'll go back to my hotel.

You will stay here, in jail.

I suppose policemen
are the same everywhere.

Always one idea. Lock him up.

Don't ask me how.

Maybe it's my criminal
nature looking for punishment.

But I had a feeling I'd end up in jail.

[phone beeps]

My compliments to the chef.

I'll come up and make
my dessert order later.

That's all there is.

Well, perhaps it's just as well.
I have to watch my waistline.

Besides, I generally like to have
a little snack around midnight.

Hey, you Americans. Always with jokes.

You mean the kitchen closes after dinner?

Everything closes.
This is not a hotel with room service.

Then I won't see anybody until breakfast?

That's right. Seven o'clock in the morning.











Is this cab taken?

Any trouble?

Not as long as I'm backed by daylight.

Here are the floor plans.

[paper rustling]

What do you think?

It looks like a nice place to Rob,
but I wouldn't want to live there.

Well, we're not going to Rob it.
We're just going to get inside.


You got my cigarette case?



Believe me, it'll be well guarded.

That accent of yours.

You're a native of this
country, aren't you?

Wondering why I'm working for your side?

I figure that's none of my business.

I'm not working against my
country, just the party that's running it.



What's that?

Truth here from Melinda Brooke.


There's our pigeon.



The floor plans are accurate.

There's an alarm system for
every floor, including the cellar.

They're accurate.

I'll meet you in the cellar.

Make like a chauffeur.
Sneak a drink in the kitchen.

What do you know about real chauffeurs?

I robbed a lot of very rich people.






















Can you handle it?

We've got to be able to trip the switch.

Close the circuit.

That'll make the alarm go off.



In case there's any
trouble, we pull on the line.

Everybody checks to see
what's wrong down here.

And we hit the road, I hope.


I know. I'm expendable.

You don't have to remind me.

Get on the dumbwaiter.

There's a bedroom to the left
of the stairs on the second floor.

I'll meet you there.

Feed the line up.

Tie it onto the top of the chute.

How are you going to get the girl up there?

The less you know.




Excuse me. Miss Brooke?


You're wanted on the telephone.


In the study.

Excuse me.

I don't see any phone.

Oh, there isn't any.

I made that up to get you away from
your, uh... group of secret admirers.


Well, I could say
it's because I wanted

to spend a few
moments with you alone.

But unfortunately,
it's in the line of duty.

What kind of duty?

My chief wants to see you.
He asked me to arrange it so that the other

guests wouldn't know.

Your chief?

Captain Colbridge.

He's upstairs.

What does he want to see me about?

Well, he doesn't confide in me.
He just gives me orders.

Generally in a rather peremptory tone.

Tell him I'll see him later.

After the reception.

Well, it was a nice job while it lasted.

You mean he'd really fire
you if I don't see him now?

There are three VIPs with
him that he wants you to meet.

If you don't appear,
Captain Colbridge

will be embarrassed
in front of his guests.

For which someone will pay heavily.

You're too important.

And too beautiful.

So therefore, Miss Brooke,
my career is in your hands.

You put it quite appealing.

Men usually try to impress a woman
with how important, powerful they are.

I would have tried that.

But I didn't think I could fool you.

Is it very important to you to keep
your job with Captain Colbridge?

It's a living.

And every so often you get
to meet an attractive woman.

You're in the wrong department.

You shouldn't be in security.
You should be in the diplomatic corps.

After you.

Thank you.


This is some juvenile...

I have to say, she certainly
doesn't look like a defector.

Not with legs like that.

This will keep her out
for a couple of days.

At first, they'll think she's in a coma.

By the time she comes
around, we'll be in our car.

Now listen to me.

Relax and listen to me
very carefully, Melinda.

I want to know the
extent of their research.

I want to know what information
you gave them, and how they used it.

I don't seem to see Miss Brooke.

She was summoned to the phone in the study.

There is no phone in the study.

The End Now the
target selection control.

Homing device.

Is it radar or heat-sensitized?

Heat... Sensitized.

This is captain
Kovach. Open this door at once.

Open this door, I say!

(gun shooting)

I want this
estate sealed off at once.

No one is to come in or go out until
I return with the commanding officer.

By order of Captain Kovach, open the gate.

Yes, sir. Open the gate!

(car speeding)


Take it easy, baby.

We're stuck with each other.

(dramatic music)

Wake up!

Wake up! Captain Kovic wants to see you.

What for?

He did not say.

What about breakfast?
Doesn't that come with the room?

You can eat later.

I'll never patronize this place again.

Kovic here.

Not now, Vasily.

Good morning, Captain.
How are you this bright sunny day?

Your things are in there, Mr. Mundy.

Including a return airplane ticket.

Your plane to Lisbon leaves in one hour.

If you're not on it, I'll lock
you away permanently.

Don't worry, Captain.
I wouldn't miss it for anything.

Kovic here.

Well, keep looking.

That girl must be found. Do you hear me?

I'll take it.

I beg your pardon?

I said I'll take it.

I'm afraid these people were here first.


It's for my uncle.

He picked it out himself, just a week ago.

I didn't know then I'd need it so soon.

Let him have it.

He is a good nephew.

Oh, thank you.

For both of us.

Thank you.

Can you take it to the airport?

I don't understand.

My uncle died in Lisbon.

That must be extra.

Money is no object.

(thrilling music)



Be careful.

Over there.

Watch the blinds.

That's fine.

I told some people I'd meet them here.























I want to know exactly
what was said to her.

Every single word.

It may have been some sort of code.

I tell you, I don't remember exactly.

He just said she was
wanted on deferred interstudy.

No more, no less.

He was a very presentable
looking young man.

I had no reason to be suspicious of him.

In fact, just the opposite.

I noticed that his suit was very well cut.

English material.

I'm not interested.

Did you say English material?

It looked like it.

Would it by any chance
be black with a pinstripe?

Yes, how did you know?

It is not possible.

I woke him this morning in his cell.

About six feet tall? Regular features?

Yes, I would say so.

I tell you, I saw the
guard open the cell door.

Guards have been bribed before.

I want the 602 flight to
Lisbon held until I get there.





Six minutes of service to the area.

Two bears and two
monkeys go to the... [Music]

Thank you.

One coffin.

No contents.

To Lisbon.

A coffin?

Is there any rule against that?

No, it's just unusual.

Nobody ever sent an empty coffin
out of the country before that I know of.

Well, I'm a manufacturer.

I want my company to study the
workmanship of this particular model.

Your country makes the finest
coffins in all of Eastern Europe.

Really? I never knew that.

Well, I guess practice makes perfect.

Leather goods I knew about and copperware.


The finest in Eastern Europe, you say?

The finest.

Thank you.

Not that way.

Porter, flight 602.

Wait a minute, Quip.
I'm not through with this.

It's already been slammed.
It has to go aboard.

I want someone to see it first.

Take it away.

Tell the dispatcher I'm here and
check the passenger's terminal.


We've got a problem.

It's an idea, but that won't help solve it.

All of these.

Three, four, five.

Be careful, he is cranky.

Wheelie, be a good boy.








Go on, Willie.

Good bear. Go on. Go on.

Go on, Willie.




How do the bureaucrats
expect me to run an airport?

Do they not know that airplanes
have a schedule to keep?


Where is she?

You didn't have to come down to see me off.

A basket of fruit would have been enough.

I give you five seconds
to answer my question.

You wouldn't shoot me?



Because if you did, you
wouldn't find out where she is.

Would you prefer to be
taken to headquarters,

where I can assure you we will get
the information we want from you?

And I can also assure you that
she will not get out of the country,

whatever you might do.

No planes will leave the
ground unless I tell them to do so,

and I won't do so until she is found.

You think of everything, don't you?

And you will also
tell me the identity of

the man I shot at the
reception last night.

But that can wait.

Right now I'm concerned with Miss Brooke.

For the last time, before I turn
you over to less patient interrogators,

I think my question has been answered.

I trust for your sake that
she has not been harmed.

If you have harmed her... Yes.

Yes, he's here.

For you.



Yes, this is the director of the airport.

Oh, Captain Kovacs.

Yes, Captain.

Oh, thank you, Captain. Thank you so much.



Last call for flight 602 to Lisbon.

Last call.

Leo, the plane for Lisbon has been cleared.

Get the baggage on it once.

Here, take this first.

Careful, she's cranky.


As soon as the load, the last of the
baggage, clear them onto runway one.

Give clearance on that aircraft.

Captain Kovacs.

Where is he?

I surely don't know.

Captain Kovacs.

What is it?

We brought a unit of
reserves to serve the terminal.

And you've never been under
my command before, have you?

No, sir.

You must understand, I
demand instant obedience.

Yes, sir.

Arrest this man, he's a defector.

Take your hands
off... Quiet, traitor.

Take him to my office.

You fool, he is not... If he
says another word, silence him.

I tell you he is... Well done.

You're a credit to your uniform.
Take him away.

[airplane motor sound]

[airplane motor sound].

[airplane motor sound]

[Police chatter]

Give me the control tower, quickly.

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.

This is your new captain speaking.

Well, how is she?

She's all right.

What are you doing here?

I came by to see her.
Anything wrong with that?

I suppose not.

Why all the concern, if
you don't mind my asking?

Well, you know how
it is when you travel

with somebody, you
get to know them.

She's a very exceptional girl, you know.

That's true.

Tell me, what's the story on her?

Was she being blackmailed,
held against her will?

Did they threaten her family? What was it?

I think you should hear it from her.



Are you feeling better?

I'm Al Mundy.

We met at the reception, remember?

You're the one who brought me out.


Well, it's nothing that any red-blooded
American hero wouldn't have done.

You ruined everything!

Just when I was going to get paid!


Paid! Money!

Why do you think I did it?
For nothing? Nothing?

Quite a noisy reunion.

You could have told me.

I thought you'd like
to see it for yourself.

Well, it just goes to prove.

These days you can't trust anybody.