Into the Dark (2018–…): Season 2, Episode 10 - Pooka Lives! - full transcript
A group of thirty-something friends from high school create their own Creepypasta about Pooka for laughs, but are shocked when it becomes so viral on the Internet that it actually manifests more murderous versions of the creature.
Ellie!
What the hell?
There are pictures
all over the internet
of Security dragging
you out of the office.
What happened?
- They wanted to change Pooka.
And I can't have that.
They just don't understand.
You can't improve perfection.
Perfection!
Well, that's just great.
That's just fucking great.
Go and get yourself fired
because they changed
your stupid toy?
Stupid toy.
- Why are you even
working on that thing?
- They can't make
Pooka without me.
Pooka and I are one.
No! No, no, don't hurt him!
No, no, no,
it's okay, it's okay,
you didn't do anything wrong.
You didn't do anything wrong.
He just doesn't understand.
Understand.
- Are you for real?
Now, you have
officially lost your mind.
You have gone insane!
I am so done.
Done.
- All right.
That is it!
No!
- I am gonna fucking
murder all of these things!
(Pooka dolls repeat "Murder!")
- Shut up!
Shut up!
Shut up.
Shut up!
Shut up!
Shut up!
(Pooka dolls continue to repeat "Murder!")
Shut up!
Shut up!
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
Shut up! Shut up!
"Shut up!"
Derrick!
Hey, you made it!
- Hey, Molly.
This is gonna be awesome!
Big city man
back in Spring Valley.
Come on, what?
- We got your room all set up,
but it's no fancy
New York apartment,
I'm sorry.
- Yeah, we won't charge
that much rent.
- He's kidding.
Can you go get his bags, Matt?
- Yep.
- Good. Come on.
Really glad
you guys let me stay here.
No, we're
thrilled, especially Matt.
- How much did you pack, man?
I see you still
have a thing for crystals.
- These are just the ones
I let her keep in the house.
- Let me?
I'm sorry for trying
to balance the energies
of our living space.
- All right.
- Hey, Lauren, we're
gonna go eat now.
Okay, Mom.
- Make sure to pay
attention to Becky, okay?
- You got it, Mrs. C.
Whoa!
Hey, aren't you
that guy that like--
- Bye, Mom; bye, Dad...
and stranger.
Hey, baby?
This is Derrick.
He's my friend from
when I was your age.
Hi, kiddo.
He's gonna be staying
with us for a few months,
just until things,
like, blow over.
- He doesn't look like
he shot himself in the foot.
- Okay!
Hey, Becky, remember
to check her closet,
or else you're never
gonna get her to sleep.
- Right.
- Bye, kiddo.
- Wait, you didn't
say bye to Jenni!
I'm sorry.
Bye-bye, Jenni!
- That's an imaginary friend.
I don't get it.
- It figures Molly's kid
would have an imaginary friend.
- Right.
- What?
- So, where are we going?
Wow. This place has
not changed at all
since we were kids.
Yeah. That's why we like it.
It's consistent and reliable.
- Somebody report a stolen car?
Bennie, holy shit!
What happened to you?
Aww!
What do you mean,
what happened to me?
- You lost, like
a whole person here!
- You look good!
- Thank you, man.
Well, it's a lot of CrossFit.
Gotta stay competitive
when you're one of only
five gay people
in a 50-mile radius.
So what brings you
back home, man?
We never thought we'd
see you again back here
after you left town.
- I wouldn't call it home,
exactly, but...
I just needed a little break
from New York, and
Matt and Molly graciously
decided to put up with me.
- Now, what are
you talking about?
We have been trying to get
you to come back for years.
He even got a job at SCI.
Yeah. Remember when we thought
that English degree would
never amount to anything?
Now he's working for Pooka!
You get to write about Pooka!
Hey, you know
who else works at SCI?
- Susan.
- Susan!
Thanks for the heads-up, Moll.
Yeah, we broke up,
like, a decade ago.
I'm pretty sure she moved on.
Yeah, but Derrick, though,
real talk, she has aged so well.
My God, Matt, what--
- No, I mean, and so have you!
We have all aged very well.
- Matt, good luck with that.
Hey, but seriously, is that
your black sedan out front?
It's been reported stolen.
I ran the plates and it's
registered under your name
so I'm gonna assume you
didn't steal your own car?
Yeah, probably
someone from my, um,
online fan club.
That's a weird
thing for a fan to do.
Listen, I'm sorry,
I'm gonna have to
bring you down to the station
tomorrow and sort it out.
- Yeah, no problem.
- I gotta get
back on patrol,
but can we all
hang out tomorrow?
- It'll be like the old times.
- Yeah, yeah.
Come by the house
around 7:00?
- All right.
Gimme an excuse
to get dolled-up.
Bye.
- He has no idea how
good he looks, does he?
- Completely oblivious.
- Got it.
- Round two.
- So how are you guys doing?
- We're okay.
Matt's still working
at the car dealership
and still watches
nothing but football.
I still have the boutique.
Yeah, same old, same old.
It's all very fine.
- Very Spring Valley, you mean.
Honestly, I'm
really glad you're here.
I needed a change too.
Hey, Molls, we gotta go.
Lauren had another
one of her nightmares.
You know, I blame
her imagination on you.
- Yeah, well, she definitely
didn't get it from you.
- Hey.
- Sorry, Mrs. C., I couldn't
get her to go back to sleep.
- Hey, baby!
What happened?
- I'm scared all the
bears are going to die
because global warming
is destroying our planet
and they can't hibernate!
She wanted to
hear a bedtime story
but it freaked her out.
- You mean that nature one?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, I like to change
the ending on that one,
it gets weirdly dark.
Well, thanks, Becky,
you can take off if you want.
- Thanks. Sorry again.
- See you around, squirt!
- All right, bug,
let's get you to bed?
Come on, I'll be
your bear, come on.
- Say goodnight to Derrick!
- Goodnight.
Hey, I'll show
you to your room.
You get to stay
in Matt's man cave.
What up, Jaxers?
It's ya boy, Jax.
Back at it again
with another video,
you already know what's good.
Got a quick lil' update
about that doucher, Derdick.
He is now officially cancelled!
Baby!
So shout-out to you all
for making sure everyone knows
how much of a loser
wannabe he is.
No one messes with
Jax, baby.
Anyways, just gonna leave
a little friendly reminder
of all his socials on the screen
if you wanna say, like, hi,
you know, or whatever.
Jax out, baby.
Here we go.
So you're the new guy.
- Susan!
We have gotta stop
meeting like this!
Well, you know,
I was here first, so...
- Yes.
- Ooh, so since Kathy
is talking to Jim,
I'm guessing that
everyone's gonna know
about that whole
Internet pariah thing
by, like, lunch.
- Is there anyone on this
planet who doesn't know?
- I mean, you were trending.
- Susan!
Crazy thing.
I still don't have
the new Pooka design
on my desk yet!
You know, the
unveiling's next week.
Were you... planning
to do that today, or--
Yes, yes; sorry,
sir, it's on the way.
- You're the new
copywriter?
Well, it's nice that
the company's taking on
a #charitycase.
Just try to keep
a low profile?
Get him started
on my speech ASAP.
- Who is he?
- Amir.
He's the general manager.
He's been up my ass about
this whole Pooka redesign
we're launching next week.
But if you have any questions,
I'm over in Marketing.
We're, like, somewhere over
in that general vicinity.
- By the other generic cubicles?
- Yeah.
- Got it.
- Cool.
See you around, stranger.
- See you around, stranger.
- Boo!
Whoa, dude!
Chill out!
I was just messing with you.
- What is happening?
- Name's Andy.
I'm in charge of social media.
Had to get some promo shots with
the OG Pooka here for Insta.
Wait.
I recognize you.
You-- you're the new copywriter?
- Yeah.
- That's me.
- Cool.
That means you work for me.
- Wow.
You are...
very young.
- Yeah. Got fast-tracked.
Dad's an associate
regional manager!
So that's the original
Pooka doll?
Yeah, the one and only.
You know the story about
the chick who created it, right?
- No.
- She went nuts,
killed her husband,
and lit herself on fire.
- Really?
- Yup.
Fucked-up?
Hey, anyway, peace out, Derrick.
What up, Jaxers?
It's ya boy, Jax,
comin' at you
with some hot goss.
But first, a very
special shout-out
to a truly dedicated
Jaxer for trackin' down
our favorite loser.
Aww, poor Derdick!
Looks like he went
a little wee-wee
and ran all the way back home!
I think it's my duty
to give him a,
very special homecoming.
So if there are any Jaxers
in the Spring Valley area,
make sure to do your very
best to welcome him back.
Hey. What are you doing back?
- Some asshat
fucked with my car.
"You sux"?
- Right?
If you're gonna insult a writer,
at least use proper grammar.
- You gonna go to HR?
What happened to
keeping a low profile?
- Maybe you're right.
Well, either way,
I'll see you tonight.
Tonight?
- Yeah, at your
welcome home party.
Molly texted me about it?
Was that a surprise?
- To me, it was.
Oops. Um...
well, see ya there.
- Yeah. Bring alcohol.
Please, yeah.
- Okay, yeah.
Remember that time
when we, tried
to TP Mrs. Kruger's house?
- We tried to TP her place
but you couldn't get
the TP roll over the tree.
You know what?
Matt was the athlete,
not me, right?
- I had the muscles to
take it over the top, baby!
- Had.
- Aww!
Hey, Bennie, you might wanna
take it easy on those brownies.
They're, Molly's
special recipe.
- Honestly,
these are fantastic!
- No, it--
- You put weed in here?
- Yes!
- No! I can't get high!
I'm a sheriff's deputy.
- Sorry!
- What the hell.
So good.
- You guys, this is so much fun.
It's just like when
we were kids, right?
This is making
me miss being 16.
- I just wanna be 16 again.
- Are you kidding me?
Do you know how awful it would
be to be a teenager now, okay?
Social media's the
worst invention ever.
- All right, I can't do it.
Everyone's dancing
around the issue
and I have no idea
what's going on,
so I gotta ask, Derrick,
what is it with you
and the internet thing?
- Bennie!
- No, it's fine.
Figures Bennie wouldn't know.
I, um, wrote a book
about online personalities
that pissed off one of
the biggest influencers
on the internet,
some douchebag named Jax.
- I'm sorry, man.
I know he's ruining
your life, but...
Jax puts out the
funniest videos.
- Um...
- Wait, didn't his
videos hurt kids?
Like, they were eating marbles
and, like, rupturing colons?
- Yeah-- kids, adults,
a lot of people did it.
Like, a lot of people do it,
like, all kinds of people,
adults too.
Um... so what happened?
He made it his
mission to ruin my life.
Sent his horde to crucify
me on social media,
flooded online sites
with bad reviews,
boycotted my publisher,
killed sales.
He, destroyed my career.
All that work was just
erased from existence.
Might as well have been dead.
Dead!
- Mom? I had a nightmare.
Baby, come over here.
Was it about pomegranates again?
Look, I know those
seeds are weird,
but it's just
a fruit, I promise.
- No, it was Momo.
Sweetie is
that, like, a K-pop band?
No, not exactly.
Momo is a dumb,
scary-looking doll thing
with big bug eyes, right?
- Yeah, Kathy
sent that to me.
Bunch of kids made up a story
that if you don't
do what Momo says,
she'll make you--
- do... do bad things.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, someone sent it to Matt
and he accidentally showed it
to a certain little girl.
- All right, let's
get you to bed before
Mommy sics Momo on both of us.
Say goodnight!
Goodnight, everybody,
let's go, let's go...
All right, bug, goodnight, muah!
- Don't forget Jenni!
- You know Jenni's
not real, right?
- Don't listen to him, Jenni.
Mom says we can manifest
ethereal entities
with our psychic energies.
- Right. Okay.
Goodnight, Jenni, muah!
Don't keep her up
too late, okay?
She is just like
I was when I was little.
- Weird as fuck?
So what's with the whole
murder-suicide thing in Pooka?
- You didn't hear about
what happened last year?
- It was Ellie Burgis.
Do you remember her?
She was in our class.
She used to sit in the back row
and, like, eat her own hair?
Ellie Burgess!
Yeah, Ellie Burgess and
I went on a couple dates
back in the day.
Talk about a bullet dodged.
She actually came up
with the idea for the doll
when she was working
in Accounting.
The company bought it
off of her, but then
they wanted to do
a remodel to spruce it up
and she went berserk
and Security had to, like,
escort her out of the building
and she did it that night.
You know, I was the one
that got called to the scene
that night.
- I don't wanna hear about this.
- I wanna hear about that.
- Come on.
- No!
Well, we needed
forensics to tell
the bodies apart because
they were so charred.
You wanna know
the creepiest part?
- Because that wasn't
creepy enough?
- She was wearing a Pooka
mask when she did it
and it melted to her face.
Bennie! Why do you
have that on your phone?
You brought that up so fast!
- What would make
someone do that?
- Hey, use the doorbell!
- Jesus Christ!
- No, I got it, I got it.
- Okay.
- God.
You suck, Derdick!
- What is going on?
- Well, bad news,
Matt and Molly.
Apparently, the Jackoffs
know where I'm staying.
- Maybe you should
send Momo after them.
- Or Ellie?
Right? Just imagine
just a crazy chick
in a melted Pooka mask.
That's scarier than Momo.
- What if we did that?
- Did what?
- What if we made our own Momo?
But for adults, based on Ellie?
You know, really fuck
with other people online
for a change, especially Jax.
We could go viral.
- But how do you make it, you
know, spread on the internet?
People love
to join in on stupid shit.
We just come up with
some ridiculous ritual
that you can do to summon Pooka.
It'll be like Bloody Mary
meets the ice bucket challenge.
Okay, okay,
what could the ritual be?
Well, if it's
involving Pooka,
maybe we have 'em do
the Pooka dance thing,
the Pooka-see, Pooka-do thing,
like, whatever that is?
Okay, yeah,
that is kinda cute.
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
something like that, but...
more stupid.
- Yeah.
Well, she
burned herself alive.
Why don't we get people to eat
something really, really spicy?
- No, the spicy food
challenge stuff,
like the Hot Ones thing,
that's played out,
that's too hacked.
But eating something,
that's always a big thing.
That's good, but
what would it be?
- What about ash?
- Morbid.
I love it, Susan.
Thank you.
In order to do
the full ceremony,
you eat ash, symbolizing
the Salem witch trials,
where her ancestors
were punished.
Put on the Pooka mask
and do the Pooka dance
while singing the full lyrics.
The spell goes,
"Pooka see, Pooka do.
If you're bad,
he'll come for you.
With fuzzy ears and eyes of red,
you'd best behave
or else you're dead."
All right, I think I got it.
Ellie's fake family history
about her ancestors
being witches,
bunch of random mysticism
courtesy of Molly.
Yeah!
- You do all of this
and Pooka will judge
if you're naughty.
You can even challenge
your friends to join in.
- That's where it's at.
Yeah, guys,
I don't know about this.
That's an angry spirit
you're messing with.
Can we just not post it?
Molly, see, this is why
Lauren always has nightmares,
'cause you talk about
this stuff like it's real.
- Come on, Molly.
Live a-- live a little!
- Bennie, you're so stoned!
Stop eating the brownies!
- But they're delicious!
My God,
you're so high!
- But seriously...
I think you should post it.
Because if Amir sees it,
he will lose his shit.
- Done.
All right,
you're finished, great.
But this creative genius
has got to go to bed.
Finished!
- I'm never
getting high again.
- Hey, Jaxers!
It's ya boy, Jax.
Ya'll have been begging me
to try this whole
Pooka Challenge.
Here we go.
Now, if I've been naughty,
which, come on, I'm Jax, y'all,
Pooka will come and beat
the shit outta me, okay?
So I've decided to risk
it all for you Jaxers.
Here we go.
Bone apple teeth!
Yecch.
That's nasty.
I challenge my bros
Frotropious and WillyTT
to take the challenge.
Subscribe.
Yo, you have to do
the Pooka Challenge.
Even Jax did it.
Get me a Pooka mask stat.
- What did Jax do?
Um ...it's called
Google, old man.
- Holy shit, we're trending!
- My God, did you see?
- Yes, yes, we
actually went viral!
- I know, right?
By the way, ash tastes terrible.
- What-- you...
you actually tried it?
We made it up!
- I know, I had to!
Kathy made everyone
in the office do it.
But, you know,
good work, copywriter.
So, hey, would you maybe
wanna get dinner tomorrow?
You know, catch up?
- Yeah-- yeah, sure.
Cool. Well,
how 'bout Footsies?
- Is that like literally
the only restaurant in town?
- What? I love the breadsticks.
Susan!
- Yeah.
- We are facing a code red
PR crisis.
What are you doing
to help out, exactly?
- I'm just giving Derrick notes
on his copy for Pooka Day.
- Okay. Your little-ass pal
is the least of our worries.
I need you to please
get your head in the game.
- I'm sorry, sir,
I'm-- I'm coming.
Ho-ho my God!
Stores are selling out
of the Pooka mask.
We better be getting a fat
royalty check for this.
- I thought I imagined
this whole thing.
Do not ever let me taste
your baked goods again, Matt.
- Fuck Jax, I can't
believe he actually did it.
- Well, I mean, I did it too
'cause, like, you know,
what he does, I do.
Usually, it's just...
I mean, I stay
on trend, you know?
I just try and
keep up with the...
Okay.
I got daddy duty.
You guys have a good time.
Here you go, Bennie.
- Ew! Matt!
- What? No beer
left behind, right?
See you guys later.
Social media influencers
have taken the
internet by storm,
igniting the Pooka Challenge.
Experts are saying
this is quickly becoming
the biggest internet
sensation of all time.
- The most influential
thing I've ever written.
And I can't even
take credit for it.
- Whatever, man.
Don't these things
just blow over anyway?
- No, no, they
definitely do not.
I have over a half a million
followers who are trolling me
and they are not letting it go.
- And a stalker.
- What?
No.
No.
"Hey. This is Derrick's friend
the police officer.
Now I have your
cell number, asshole."
You're welcome.
- My hero.
- All right, well,
I'm calling it.
I got an early shift tomorrow.
Get home safe, bud.
- Goodnight, Officer.
- Okay, so, we're
gonna go to the beach,
you know, get shirtless,
and then fuck up
some Pooka toys.
Yeah. Obviously, I'm gonna
livestream it.
Wh-- I'm deadass, Brad!
Yeah, I don't care
if it's littering.
Bro, this whole Pooka thing
is getting me way more views
than the IG pics of my abs.
Yeah, I know, I didn't
believe it either.
Anyways, we are riding this wave
to a new brand deal, okay?
Deal!
Fuckin' toy.
What up, Jaxers?
It's ya boy Jax
coming to you live!
Just wanna say a quick
little thank you
to everyone for supporting
me on my latest video.
Anyways,
just wanted to say
I have a very, very
special treat lined up
for all you Pooka fans,
you already--
Sorry, Jaxers, just
got a little distracted.
What the hell?
Help!
Someone help me!
Help!
Mom!
- Fucking influencers.
Cheers.
- Cheers!
My God.
Remember when my mom
used to drop us off here?
Yes!
And those ominous warnings
she used to give us?
"Be safe."
Like she thought we were just
gonna go into the bathroom
and start bangin'.
- I mean, nothing turns me on
like garlic and butter.
- So you, meeting
a lot of new people?
- Yeah, well, I'm seeing,
like, five guys at once, so.
Really mastered
playing the field
here in Spring Valley.
- I am very proud of you.
But seriously, are you?
- No!
Have you seen how busy I am?
Every living thing
in my house dies.
I can't commit to a human.
So, um... you got any
ideas for your next book?
- I think it's safe to say
that my writing career
is pretty much over.
- You can't just
give up, Derrick.
You've always wanted
to be a writer.
- Yeah, well, that was before
the world thought
I was an asshole.
Now they could care less
what I have to say.
- So what are you gonna do?
- Play it by ear.
Hopefully, this
whole thing dies down
and then I get a writing job
doing food reviews
for a little
gazette in New York.
- So you're going
back there, then?
- Maybe.
I don't know, that's
where my life was.
- So, um... aww...
- WHAT?
Do you ever think
what would've happened
if we stayed together?
Well, I would be
miserable in New York
or you would be miserable here.
- Come on.
It's New York, Susan.
- Yeah, that's what
I'm talking about.
I actually like it
here and you don't.
All you've ever wanted
is to get out and be seen.
- What does that mean?
- Don't act like you don't know.
I mean, this whole
thing with Jax.
I mean, you hate it but
you're obsessed with it.
Why don't you just delete
your social profiles?
I'm just saying that
what you wanted isn't here.
And all I've ever wanted is...
- What, to be in a
town full of nobodies
obsessed with some
obnoxious children's toy?
- So this life that
you have up there,
how many people
actually gave a shit
when all this went down?
- Okay, you know what?
It's New York, okay?
I got dropped.
They'll welcome
me back eventually.
- Okay, well here
in Spring Valley,
there's people like Molly
who open their home to you
because they're good people.
I mean, did you even visit
Molly when she had Lauren?
Yeah, I didn't think so.
I mean, when you left,
you just dropped all of us.
You got successful
and then all of a sudden
it was like none of us
even mattered anymore.
Until you needed us.
So don't you dare act
like you're better
than this place.
Hey-- Susan, Susan!
- I'm parked down there.
- Okay, I'll walk
you to your car.
- No, it's cool, I got it.
- Hey, listen, I'm sorry
about what I said before,
I didn't mean it.
- No, you did.
And that's just who you are,
and that's okay.
And it was really great
catching up with you.
I'll see you at the office.
- Yeah, okay, just...
Bye, Susan!
God, Amir, fuck Pooka!
Andy?
"You've been naughty"?
My God.
- Susan!
- Jesus Christ, Derrick!
- What happened?
- I was attacked!
- Attacked? By who?
- I don't know,
I don't know what...
- Your car.
- "Naughty"?
- What?!
So you were
attacked by someone
wearing a Pooka suit?
- Yeah, I think so.
Derrick and I had
just finished dinner,
and then, he was just at my car,
and he had...
he had these scissors.
Like we wrote in the story.
And then he was just gone.
- I got a text from the stalker
just as she was being attacked.
- Does someone know
we posted that story?
- Can't we just
take it down, Derrick?
- I-- no one knows
it was actually us
that posted it.
- You won't delete it
because it's popular,
won't you?
It's out there now.
- Bennie, I mean, should
we be worried, or...
- I don't know.
Just be careful,
keep your doors locked.
Suzie, I'm gonna take
you down to the station
so we can file a report.
And I'm gonna run that number
that's been harassing you,
see who it belongs to.
- Yeah, no, thanks.
Suzie, I'm really
sorry about that.
Yeah.
Knock, knock!
- Hey! Molly, what's up?
I just wanted to
make sure you were okay.
Seemed kinda tense down
there with Susan?
Yeah.
I, really fucked up.
Started thinking
maybe you were right,
so I was checking to see
if anyone figured out
it was us.
This thing's really taken
on a life of its own.
- What do you mean?
People keep adding to it,
saying that it has
razor-sharp claws,
can teleport...
Starting to talk about it
like it's actually real.
- Well, they probably
do think it's real.
Never underestimate
how willing people are
to believe in something.
Did you know in some cultures,
they actually believe
the imagination can create
things that...
I'm gonna stop talking now.
Goodnight.
Hey, Moll?
- Yep?
You know, it's
not too late for me to get
a hotel room or something.
This is a lot to deal with.
You guys have done
enough already.
Are you kidding?
You were already chased
out of your home once.
I am not letting
that happen again.
- You're a better friend
than I deserve, Moll.
Very true.
Goodnight.
Hey, Derdick!
Here.
- What's this?
Some stuff Amir needs
for the big shindig tomorrow.
Pooka 2.0, baby!
So, yeah, he apparently
wanted it yesterday, so.
- Yesterday?
Thanks for the prompt delivery.
- Hey, no sweat, dude.
Peace out.
- Hey, hey, I was...
looking for you all day.
Is everything all right?
- Yeah, you know, just
swamped with the event.
- Yeah, I was, um, wondering
if we could maybe
try that whole...
dinner thing again tonight?
I'm clearly very rusty.
- I actually
asked Molly and Matt
if they would hang out
tonight, so, um, sorry.
- Got it! Yeah, duh.
I still have to finish
that whole speech thing
for your event, tomorrow.
So, um, I will see you there
at the...
In international news,
Alex Butler was
arrested in Berlin
for murdering his family
after police responded
to sounds of screaming
coming from the household.
Reports indicate
there were four victims:
his wife and their
three children.
Eyewitnesses reported
that upon being arrested,
the suspect was apparently
hysterically claiming
that he was innocent
and that a creature
actually committed the murders
after they did the
now-infamous Pooka Challenge.
We'll have more details soon.
- This can't be real.
Here you go.
Pooka see, Pooka do.
If you're bad,
he'll come for you.
With furry ears and eyes of red,
best be good
or else you're dead.
Just what I thought.
You're just a stupid kids' toy.
Fuck...
Hello?
Andy, if that's you...
I'm definitely going
straight to HR.
Stupid fuckin' Pooka.
Shit!
Hey, are you all right?
- No!
- Swing and a miss.
- Hi, Derrick.
You do know this isn't
actually the only place in town.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine!
Everything's fine!
I just got attacked
by a giant kids' toy!
- What, the guy from last night?
No, no, everyone,
just-- just listen to me.
Whatever it is that
tried to kill me, um...
it wasn't human.
You okay, man, or...
I'm serious.
I did the ritual, and...
...I think I summoned Pooka.
The ritual?
The same ritual we
did the other day
while drunk, the one
we made up completely?
Okay, okay, okay, just...
hear me out.
What if the singing,
the dancing, the ash,
the whole Pooka thing,
what if it actually works?
What did I tell you?
What did I tell you guys about
fucking with angry spirits?
Derrick,
I know you're upset,
but listen to yourself--
- I know what I saw!
- Okay, your parents
just called,
so they're on their way home.
That means bedtime.
- But you said
you'd tell us a story.
Yeah, well, last time
I read you and Jenni something,
your parents almost fired me.
You want your Pooka doll?
What, why not? You love Pooka.
- It's going to get me.
- Don't tell me you're
scared of that viral thing.
Lauren, you're getting too
old for this kind of stuff.
Here.
I'll prove to you...
there's nothing to be afraid of.
Naughty?
Mrs. C, are you home?
Lauren, is that you?
- Becky, we're home.
- I'll check upstairs.
- Yeah.
Becky?
She's not up there.
What? I just talked to her.
Did she leave?
- I don't know,
maybe she bailed.
- She bailed? My
God, she is so fired.
Maybe Pooka got her.
- My God, here we go.
Maybe it's the babysitter?
Matt, what the hell?
What are you doing here, Bennie?
I came to talk to
Derrick about that phone number
since he wasn't
answering my calls.
What, did something happen?
- Pooka attacked
me at the office.
We think it's Ellie's ghost.
No, that...
that's what Molly thinks.
- Matt, Ellie
murdered her husband
- and burnt herself alive...
- And that means now
that there's a toy roaming
the streets killing people?
No, it means that
her spirit is not at rest,
and that ritual we made
could be channeling it
and manifesting as Pooka.
So what did you find out?
- Well I traced the phone number
that's been harassing you.
It belongs to some kid
named Andy Jorgensen.
- Andy?
- He works at SCI.
I mean, the guy's a douchebag,
but I don't think he'd
actually attack anybody.
Well, I tracked
the phone number.
He's at Ellie's
old place right now.
I'm gonna go check it out and
I'll let you know what I find.
No, no, no, it's
not safe for you, Bennie.
This is not something
you can arrest.
Whatever that thing is,
it is not just some kid
wearing a costume.
- Okay, Derrick, take
a breath, calm down.
Okay, listen,
if it's a ghost,
then the only way
to get rid of it
is to purify the
place where it died.
So, here, okay.
You burn the sage,
you sprinkle the salt...
- Guys, I don't think...
- Burn the sage
- and sprinkle the salt?
- I'm coming with you.
If this is because of
the ritual, I did it too.
- Guys.
- So I want to help.
- You did it?
- Okay!
Everybody take
a breath and calm down.
This is getting ridiculous.
For once in my life,
I agree with Matt.
Wow.
- There are no such
thing as ghosts.
Okay, so I am going to Ellie's
and I am bringing in Andy
because I am an
officer of the law.
Now, if you two want to
come with me, that's fine,
only because I know
you'll follow me anyway.
- That's true. All right.
- Call us if you need
any help, okay?
Yeah,
and be careful of the spirits
and the ghosts and the goblins.
And the Easter Bunny,
and Santa Claus,
and elves and shit.
- Never having sex again.
- Not creepy at all.
- I'm gonna check it out.
Stay behind me.
- You still have that
old thing I gave you?
- It was your,
goodbye present to me.
You know I bought
it for like five bucks
at Claire's, right?
- Sentimental value.
- No sign of a break-in.
Well, how
are we gonna get in?
- Wait, did...
did I just hear
someone call for help?
- What? No, I-- I
didn't hear anything.
- I don't think so.
- No, I definitely heard
someone call for help.
It's a cop thing.
- Okay, okay,
there is a Burmese demon
called a Belu
that shapeshifts
and eats people.
- Maybe it's one of those.
- Yeah.
You should probably
call Ghostbusters.
Maybe they can figure it out.
Okay, what's with
the condescending attitude?
- No, sorry, you're right.
Let's just jump
to the conclusion
that ghosts and demons exist
and they're stalking
our friends.
- I remember when you loved
that I was into this stuff,
and now it just
seems to annoy you.
- I just wish you were a bit
more realistic sometimes.
- What?
- Molly, our daughter
believes she has an invisible
friend because of you.
- So?
- She's 8 years old, Moll!
She shouldn't be learning
about Tibetan mysticism.
I'm sorry
that I think there's
more to the world
than drinking beer
and watching television.
- My God, look,
it's not a demon.
It's just some people
being idiots online.
- Well, it's clear we
see things differently.
My God.
Mom, Dad?
- Hey, bud.
- Hey, baby.
Did you have another bad dream?
- No.
There's someone in my room.
- So, um, what is it
that we're looking for?
Some sign of Pooka.
No, we're looking to see
if a person has
been here recently.
I'm probably the first
black guy to say this to a cop,
but I'd feel a lot safer
if you'd take out your gun.
- I don't know, man.
I didn't pack my silver bullets.
- Hey, look.
- So this is where it happened.
Jenni and I saw something.
No, Jenni, you just
imagined you saw something.
But it's Pooka,
he was watching me.
No, baby, we told you
that was just
a story we made up.
- Becky did it.
- Becky did what?
- She did the dance
and put it online
and now she's gone.
Honey...
where is Becky?
Moll, no, stop,
just watch Lauren.
I'm gonna check the room.
No.
No, Matt!
Matt, don't you go in that room!
Molly, look at me!
Monsters don't exist!
- What...
I can't believe I'm
the bad guy in this situation.
- Was that a phone?
- If ghosts had phones.
- Damn light bulbs.
Where'd you say you saw it?
- In the closet.
- "You've been naughty."
Police.
This is the police.
Show yourself.
I guess we can rule out Andy.
I think that's safe to say.
- All right, I'm gonna
have to call this in.
Call this in.
Susan...
- Bennie!
Fuck!
Shit!
- Matt, Matt!
You stay here.
Holy shit!
Holy shit, what is that thing?
Holy shit!
And what is it wearing?
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.
Get downstairs now.
Go, go, go!
Well, Molly, I think
it's safe to say that
you were probably right.
- Probably?
Get outta here now!
- No, no, Bennie, we
are not leaving you.
- Hey, asshole!
That was not even close.
Yeah, writer here.
Hey!
No, not my Himalayan
salt crystal!
Go, go, go, go, go!
What's wrong?
Nothing.
It's just a really big rat.
- You're going to stab it?
- Yeah, it's a big monster rat.
Now get in the pantry.
Go, go, go!
- Be gone, evil spirit!
Aren't you supposed to light it?
- I don't know!
Shit, shit!
- Hey!
- Damn it, Molly!
- God damn it, you guys!
Great idea, Matt.
Now we're in a small
room with no exit!
What do we do now?
- I don't know!
Is that Becky?
It's okay, baby.
She's just napping.
- What?
- Guys?
The hole!
He needs a doctor.
Let's get him
the hell outta here.
Go see if it's gone.
Wow.
What?
- What?
Hey, are you okay?
No, yeah, neither am I.
- No.
- What?
- It's Bennie.
Jesus, Amir.
It's like 2 a. m.
Why are you still awake?
Is this really the
safest place you could think of?
- What? It's our spot.
- Hey, guys.
What happened to Bennie?
- Hey, bud, do you want to see
if you can try and beat
Daddy's high score
on the old video game
over there, Gut Wrencher?
- You're going to talk
about adult stuff, aren't you?
- Yeah, we are.
Here you go.
- Come on, Jenni.
- That kid's gonna need some
therapy when we're all done.
- Yeah.
So we took
Bennie to the hospital,
so he's gonna be okay.
Pooka attacked him.
Which was incredibly difficult
to explain to the police,
but at least we know
it wasn't Andy,
and your magic herbs
and spices didn't do jack.
Well, Pooka showed
up at our house too.
He was in Lauren's closet.
And he...
he killed our babysitter.
What?
My God.
Wait, if Pooka was
at your house, too,
can ghosts show up
in two places at once?
- I don't think so.
- And why was it wearing
those, like, German kid shorts?
- What?
- Those German shorts,
the ones, like the high ones
that German kids wear,
with the suspenders on them.
What are you talking about?
The stupid, like,
German kid shorts,
the green ones
with the straps...
Guys, guys, guys, guys.
What?
- I think I figured it out.
- What?
- I think the internet
literally created a monster.
The fuck are you
talking about, Derrick?
- Just listen to me, all right?
There's the original
Pooka, right?
That's the one
that attacked Susan.
But then people kept
adding stuff to the story,
like claws.
That's the one that attacked me.
Tonight, the one
that attacked you guys.
- Did it look like this?
- Yes.
That's the fan
art that went viral!
That's the German kid shorts!
So you're saying
that whatever people
are talking about
online is coming true?
- Not everything, I think.
Just the stuff
that's super popular.
My God.
My God, that's it, that's it!
It's a Tulpa.
- A what?
- What?
Okay, so, Tulpas were
created by Tibetan monks.
They would focus their
thoughts on creating
spiritual companions
to aid them.
- Like Jenni?
- Kind of.
Tulpas are
completely autonomous,
so your thoughts give it life
but you don't
necessarily control it.
- Like Fight Club!
- Yes, like Fight Club.
- I mean, it tracks.
If the internet is making
everyone think of something,
then that could create a Tulpa.
- Yeah, so if a bunch of
shitheads online are doing it,
of course it's evil,
but how do we get rid of it?
- Well, that's easy.
You just get everybody to...
stop thinking about it.
- Guys, whatever we're gonna
do, we better do it now.
God, what now?
Someone just posted a story
about the Pooka unveiling.
It says once the new
toy is shown off,
all the old ones are
gonna come to life
and wipe out humanity.
They're saying it's Pooka's
revenge for trying to change it.
My God.
The event... it's today.
What if Pooka shows
up at your mom's house?
My mom still
has dial-up internet.
I'm pretty sure she's not gonna
do any internet challenges.
Lauren will be safe there.
Hey, I wouldn't suggest
having a drink right now, Matt.
If I'm gonna get
murdered by some demonic toy,
I'm gonna be buzzed
when it happens, okay?
I don't understand.
There's been viral stuff before.
How come we've never seen,
like, a monster Grumpy Cat?
Well, maybe because
it has Ellie's ghost's help.
Okay, okay,
so we just need
something else to go viral
to get people to stop
talking about Pooka.
- I don't know that we can.
There's even a link
to watch a live stream
of the event.
If only we didn't make
the story so scary.
- That's it!
- What's it?
- The story.
We just change the story!
- Well, it's already out there.
Okay, but the
story that I read Lauren
with the bears, I just
change the ending for her,
so we just do the same
thing with Pooka.
So we just write
that Pooka is dead
and then that's it?
No, that won't
exactly get people talking.
What if we give
it a silver bullet?
We invent something that
can actually kill Pooka.
- The original Pooka doll.
We could use that
as a weak spot.
Yes! Amir keeps
it in his office.
We could just say
that you have to burn it,
the same way Ellie
did with her husband.
Say that you have to
do it by the unveiling,
otherwise it won't work.
People love a climactic ending.
Look, we'll head to launch,
then we'll split up.
Matt, Molly, you
guys get the doll.
Susan, we're gonna have
to wreck that event.
- I'm so ready for a new job.
- All right, let's do this.
Go...
- We are not doing that.
- Okay.
We've got an hour
until the presentation starts.
- The story's still
holding up, for now.
- Remember, the doll
is in Amir's office.
- We got this.
I'm still seeing
some marks here,
so I really need
those cleaned up.
Susan, hi!
So great of you to show
up to your own event
after ducking my calls
for the last 24 hours.
Wow, Amir, I am so sorry
I didn't respond to
your 800 texts at 2 a. m.
- No, it's just good
for me to know
that Pooka isn't your
number one priority,
so, awesome.
And you, thank you so much
for not finishing
that speech of mine!
You can consider yourself fired.
Shit, this was my dream job.
- Amir, listen.
You cannot present that toy.
People are saying
that something awful
is gonna happen
at the unveiling.
- Yeah, of course they are.
We posted that.
The whole "Pooka Monster"
trend was so popular,
we figured an apocalypse would
really get people to tune in.
It's just a story,
Susan, calm down!
All right, guys.
Let's go, people!
Let's open the doors
and let everyone in here!
- I really hate him.
- Yeah, I get that.
- Okay, Susan said left.
No, she said right,
she said right.
- Which door is it?
- ... that one feels right.
- What do you mean,
"feels right"?
All right,
testing, testing, testing!
Hello, Pooka Nation!
Yeah!
Are you guys ready
for some exciting news?
Yeah, you are.
- No, no, no,
he can't go on yet,
he can't show the toy,
we haven't done the thing.
No.
They're saying that we
didn't get the story right.
David Burgis
wasn't burned alive.
He was stabbed to death!
We have to stab the doll?
Yes.
- That'll work.
- We gotta stop Matt
and Molly before
they burn that doll.
What are you doing?
- They gotta see it.
I'm gonna live stream
the whole thing.
Stall, I'm gonna
find Matt and Molly.
- Stall.
What is that, Moll?
It's a prayer stick.
It wards off evil.
- Isn't that kinda
cultural appropriation?
- Is it?
- I don't know, is it?
- There it is.
- Fucking just-- let's
burn it right here.
Okay.
Matt, stay down!
See, it wards off evil.
We here at
Spectacular Contraptions
really pride ourselves
in bringing you
the best in kids' enjoyment,
which is why we love Pooka!
Are you nice? Are you naughty?
Only Pooka knows!
Hi!
Hi, um, so sorry, Amir.
I was wondering if I
could say a few words.
- No, no, that's
okay, thank you.
- No, but I do have something
really important to add.
No, we're good,
I'm handling it...
It'll just be one second.
Hi, um...
So, I just really...
wanted to reflect on Pooka.
- The last place I want to be
if all these Pooka
dolls come to life.
- That looks bad, Matt.
"It's only a flesh wound."
I meant it, by the way.
- What?
That I love your quirks.
No, I'm gonna try and be better
and more open to that shit.
Just the candles and the salts
and all the rocks
and stuff like that.
I just... I love you.
And, um, you were clearly
right about all this stuff.
- No, no, listen.
This is... this is a lot,
and, I can be a lot.
But I love you--
- Shh, shush.
- Did you just shush me?
- No, no, shut up, shut up.
Listen, listen.
Thank God, okay...
Fuck.
- When I think about my
first experience with Pooka,
well, I was in my thirties,
but I felt like a kid again.
- That's fine,
I think we got it.
No, I think we got it.
Very moving.
Very moving, great story.
Shit!
Burn the fucking doll, Molly!
I lost the original.
Hey, you fucked-up Easter Bunny.
Come get some.
- What are you doing?
- We gotta stab the doll.
Wait, I thought we
were supposed to burn it!
- Yeah, well, they
changed the story.
We gotta live stream it too.
Matt, here.
Derrick, there's fucking
thousands of people watching
but they're all fucking
rooting for Pooka.
Here, catch!
- It's not working!
- Sorry, it's the wrong one!
Can you hurry up
and find the right one?
- I am trying!
Is this it?
I'm sorry, they
all look the same!
How's he doing?
- I don't know,
I can't see anything.
Shit, there he is.
He's not doing good!
- God.
- Get off my ex!
- Holy shit!
What, what, what?
What is happening?
It's Susan,
she's kicking Pooka's ass!
- I can't believe I'm
missing all of this!
No.
Susan.
Susan.
My God.
I found it, I found it!
- Give me Pooka, now!
Where's the scissors?
Bennie!
God damn,
he's so fucking hot.
- Sorry I'm late.
Bennie, scissors!
- You're canceled.
- So how long have you been
rehearsing that line in your head?
- How'd you find us?
- I saw your live stream.
Looked like you
could use some help.
- Wanna cut me a break?
I just killed a demon.
- No, you can't do everything.
- Hey, can we go home now?
It worked.
We killed Pooka.
Let me check on the unveiling.
Without further ado,
I bring you the new Pooka!
- Wait, guys,
#apookalypse is trending.
Yeah, Pooka!
What happened?
No, no, no, no, no.
We did-- we did the thing,
we did the thing!
- It's the internet.
They won't let Pooka die.
Hey, guys...
it's happening.
They're coming to life.
- You said nothing interesting
ever happens in Spring Valley.
- I'll never say anything
bad about home again.
What the hell?
There are pictures
all over the internet
of Security dragging
you out of the office.
What happened?
- They wanted to change Pooka.
And I can't have that.
They just don't understand.
You can't improve perfection.
Perfection!
Well, that's just great.
That's just fucking great.
Go and get yourself fired
because they changed
your stupid toy?
Stupid toy.
- Why are you even
working on that thing?
- They can't make
Pooka without me.
Pooka and I are one.
No! No, no, don't hurt him!
No, no, no,
it's okay, it's okay,
you didn't do anything wrong.
You didn't do anything wrong.
He just doesn't understand.
Understand.
- Are you for real?
Now, you have
officially lost your mind.
You have gone insane!
I am so done.
Done.
- All right.
That is it!
No!
- I am gonna fucking
murder all of these things!
(Pooka dolls repeat "Murder!")
- Shut up!
Shut up!
Shut up.
Shut up!
Shut up!
Shut up!
(Pooka dolls continue to repeat "Murder!")
Shut up!
Shut up!
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
Shut up! Shut up!
"Shut up!"
Derrick!
Hey, you made it!
- Hey, Molly.
This is gonna be awesome!
Big city man
back in Spring Valley.
Come on, what?
- We got your room all set up,
but it's no fancy
New York apartment,
I'm sorry.
- Yeah, we won't charge
that much rent.
- He's kidding.
Can you go get his bags, Matt?
- Yep.
- Good. Come on.
Really glad
you guys let me stay here.
No, we're
thrilled, especially Matt.
- How much did you pack, man?
I see you still
have a thing for crystals.
- These are just the ones
I let her keep in the house.
- Let me?
I'm sorry for trying
to balance the energies
of our living space.
- All right.
- Hey, Lauren, we're
gonna go eat now.
Okay, Mom.
- Make sure to pay
attention to Becky, okay?
- You got it, Mrs. C.
Whoa!
Hey, aren't you
that guy that like--
- Bye, Mom; bye, Dad...
and stranger.
Hey, baby?
This is Derrick.
He's my friend from
when I was your age.
Hi, kiddo.
He's gonna be staying
with us for a few months,
just until things,
like, blow over.
- He doesn't look like
he shot himself in the foot.
- Okay!
Hey, Becky, remember
to check her closet,
or else you're never
gonna get her to sleep.
- Right.
- Bye, kiddo.
- Wait, you didn't
say bye to Jenni!
I'm sorry.
Bye-bye, Jenni!
- That's an imaginary friend.
I don't get it.
- It figures Molly's kid
would have an imaginary friend.
- Right.
- What?
- So, where are we going?
Wow. This place has
not changed at all
since we were kids.
Yeah. That's why we like it.
It's consistent and reliable.
- Somebody report a stolen car?
Bennie, holy shit!
What happened to you?
Aww!
What do you mean,
what happened to me?
- You lost, like
a whole person here!
- You look good!
- Thank you, man.
Well, it's a lot of CrossFit.
Gotta stay competitive
when you're one of only
five gay people
in a 50-mile radius.
So what brings you
back home, man?
We never thought we'd
see you again back here
after you left town.
- I wouldn't call it home,
exactly, but...
I just needed a little break
from New York, and
Matt and Molly graciously
decided to put up with me.
- Now, what are
you talking about?
We have been trying to get
you to come back for years.
He even got a job at SCI.
Yeah. Remember when we thought
that English degree would
never amount to anything?
Now he's working for Pooka!
You get to write about Pooka!
Hey, you know
who else works at SCI?
- Susan.
- Susan!
Thanks for the heads-up, Moll.
Yeah, we broke up,
like, a decade ago.
I'm pretty sure she moved on.
Yeah, but Derrick, though,
real talk, she has aged so well.
My God, Matt, what--
- No, I mean, and so have you!
We have all aged very well.
- Matt, good luck with that.
Hey, but seriously, is that
your black sedan out front?
It's been reported stolen.
I ran the plates and it's
registered under your name
so I'm gonna assume you
didn't steal your own car?
Yeah, probably
someone from my, um,
online fan club.
That's a weird
thing for a fan to do.
Listen, I'm sorry,
I'm gonna have to
bring you down to the station
tomorrow and sort it out.
- Yeah, no problem.
- I gotta get
back on patrol,
but can we all
hang out tomorrow?
- It'll be like the old times.
- Yeah, yeah.
Come by the house
around 7:00?
- All right.
Gimme an excuse
to get dolled-up.
Bye.
- He has no idea how
good he looks, does he?
- Completely oblivious.
- Got it.
- Round two.
- So how are you guys doing?
- We're okay.
Matt's still working
at the car dealership
and still watches
nothing but football.
I still have the boutique.
Yeah, same old, same old.
It's all very fine.
- Very Spring Valley, you mean.
Honestly, I'm
really glad you're here.
I needed a change too.
Hey, Molls, we gotta go.
Lauren had another
one of her nightmares.
You know, I blame
her imagination on you.
- Yeah, well, she definitely
didn't get it from you.
- Hey.
- Sorry, Mrs. C., I couldn't
get her to go back to sleep.
- Hey, baby!
What happened?
- I'm scared all the
bears are going to die
because global warming
is destroying our planet
and they can't hibernate!
She wanted to
hear a bedtime story
but it freaked her out.
- You mean that nature one?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, I like to change
the ending on that one,
it gets weirdly dark.
Well, thanks, Becky,
you can take off if you want.
- Thanks. Sorry again.
- See you around, squirt!
- All right, bug,
let's get you to bed?
Come on, I'll be
your bear, come on.
- Say goodnight to Derrick!
- Goodnight.
Hey, I'll show
you to your room.
You get to stay
in Matt's man cave.
What up, Jaxers?
It's ya boy, Jax.
Back at it again
with another video,
you already know what's good.
Got a quick lil' update
about that doucher, Derdick.
He is now officially cancelled!
Baby!
So shout-out to you all
for making sure everyone knows
how much of a loser
wannabe he is.
No one messes with
Jax, baby.
Anyways, just gonna leave
a little friendly reminder
of all his socials on the screen
if you wanna say, like, hi,
you know, or whatever.
Jax out, baby.
Here we go.
So you're the new guy.
- Susan!
We have gotta stop
meeting like this!
Well, you know,
I was here first, so...
- Yes.
- Ooh, so since Kathy
is talking to Jim,
I'm guessing that
everyone's gonna know
about that whole
Internet pariah thing
by, like, lunch.
- Is there anyone on this
planet who doesn't know?
- I mean, you were trending.
- Susan!
Crazy thing.
I still don't have
the new Pooka design
on my desk yet!
You know, the
unveiling's next week.
Were you... planning
to do that today, or--
Yes, yes; sorry,
sir, it's on the way.
- You're the new
copywriter?
Well, it's nice that
the company's taking on
a #charitycase.
Just try to keep
a low profile?
Get him started
on my speech ASAP.
- Who is he?
- Amir.
He's the general manager.
He's been up my ass about
this whole Pooka redesign
we're launching next week.
But if you have any questions,
I'm over in Marketing.
We're, like, somewhere over
in that general vicinity.
- By the other generic cubicles?
- Yeah.
- Got it.
- Cool.
See you around, stranger.
- See you around, stranger.
- Boo!
Whoa, dude!
Chill out!
I was just messing with you.
- What is happening?
- Name's Andy.
I'm in charge of social media.
Had to get some promo shots with
the OG Pooka here for Insta.
Wait.
I recognize you.
You-- you're the new copywriter?
- Yeah.
- That's me.
- Cool.
That means you work for me.
- Wow.
You are...
very young.
- Yeah. Got fast-tracked.
Dad's an associate
regional manager!
So that's the original
Pooka doll?
Yeah, the one and only.
You know the story about
the chick who created it, right?
- No.
- She went nuts,
killed her husband,
and lit herself on fire.
- Really?
- Yup.
Fucked-up?
Hey, anyway, peace out, Derrick.
What up, Jaxers?
It's ya boy, Jax,
comin' at you
with some hot goss.
But first, a very
special shout-out
to a truly dedicated
Jaxer for trackin' down
our favorite loser.
Aww, poor Derdick!
Looks like he went
a little wee-wee
and ran all the way back home!
I think it's my duty
to give him a,
very special homecoming.
So if there are any Jaxers
in the Spring Valley area,
make sure to do your very
best to welcome him back.
Hey. What are you doing back?
- Some asshat
fucked with my car.
"You sux"?
- Right?
If you're gonna insult a writer,
at least use proper grammar.
- You gonna go to HR?
What happened to
keeping a low profile?
- Maybe you're right.
Well, either way,
I'll see you tonight.
Tonight?
- Yeah, at your
welcome home party.
Molly texted me about it?
Was that a surprise?
- To me, it was.
Oops. Um...
well, see ya there.
- Yeah. Bring alcohol.
Please, yeah.
- Okay, yeah.
Remember that time
when we, tried
to TP Mrs. Kruger's house?
- We tried to TP her place
but you couldn't get
the TP roll over the tree.
You know what?
Matt was the athlete,
not me, right?
- I had the muscles to
take it over the top, baby!
- Had.
- Aww!
Hey, Bennie, you might wanna
take it easy on those brownies.
They're, Molly's
special recipe.
- Honestly,
these are fantastic!
- No, it--
- You put weed in here?
- Yes!
- No! I can't get high!
I'm a sheriff's deputy.
- Sorry!
- What the hell.
So good.
- You guys, this is so much fun.
It's just like when
we were kids, right?
This is making
me miss being 16.
- I just wanna be 16 again.
- Are you kidding me?
Do you know how awful it would
be to be a teenager now, okay?
Social media's the
worst invention ever.
- All right, I can't do it.
Everyone's dancing
around the issue
and I have no idea
what's going on,
so I gotta ask, Derrick,
what is it with you
and the internet thing?
- Bennie!
- No, it's fine.
Figures Bennie wouldn't know.
I, um, wrote a book
about online personalities
that pissed off one of
the biggest influencers
on the internet,
some douchebag named Jax.
- I'm sorry, man.
I know he's ruining
your life, but...
Jax puts out the
funniest videos.
- Um...
- Wait, didn't his
videos hurt kids?
Like, they were eating marbles
and, like, rupturing colons?
- Yeah-- kids, adults,
a lot of people did it.
Like, a lot of people do it,
like, all kinds of people,
adults too.
Um... so what happened?
He made it his
mission to ruin my life.
Sent his horde to crucify
me on social media,
flooded online sites
with bad reviews,
boycotted my publisher,
killed sales.
He, destroyed my career.
All that work was just
erased from existence.
Might as well have been dead.
Dead!
- Mom? I had a nightmare.
Baby, come over here.
Was it about pomegranates again?
Look, I know those
seeds are weird,
but it's just
a fruit, I promise.
- No, it was Momo.
Sweetie is
that, like, a K-pop band?
No, not exactly.
Momo is a dumb,
scary-looking doll thing
with big bug eyes, right?
- Yeah, Kathy
sent that to me.
Bunch of kids made up a story
that if you don't
do what Momo says,
she'll make you--
- do... do bad things.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, someone sent it to Matt
and he accidentally showed it
to a certain little girl.
- All right, let's
get you to bed before
Mommy sics Momo on both of us.
Say goodnight!
Goodnight, everybody,
let's go, let's go...
All right, bug, goodnight, muah!
- Don't forget Jenni!
- You know Jenni's
not real, right?
- Don't listen to him, Jenni.
Mom says we can manifest
ethereal entities
with our psychic energies.
- Right. Okay.
Goodnight, Jenni, muah!
Don't keep her up
too late, okay?
She is just like
I was when I was little.
- Weird as fuck?
So what's with the whole
murder-suicide thing in Pooka?
- You didn't hear about
what happened last year?
- It was Ellie Burgis.
Do you remember her?
She was in our class.
She used to sit in the back row
and, like, eat her own hair?
Ellie Burgess!
Yeah, Ellie Burgess and
I went on a couple dates
back in the day.
Talk about a bullet dodged.
She actually came up
with the idea for the doll
when she was working
in Accounting.
The company bought it
off of her, but then
they wanted to do
a remodel to spruce it up
and she went berserk
and Security had to, like,
escort her out of the building
and she did it that night.
You know, I was the one
that got called to the scene
that night.
- I don't wanna hear about this.
- I wanna hear about that.
- Come on.
- No!
Well, we needed
forensics to tell
the bodies apart because
they were so charred.
You wanna know
the creepiest part?
- Because that wasn't
creepy enough?
- She was wearing a Pooka
mask when she did it
and it melted to her face.
Bennie! Why do you
have that on your phone?
You brought that up so fast!
- What would make
someone do that?
- Hey, use the doorbell!
- Jesus Christ!
- No, I got it, I got it.
- Okay.
- God.
You suck, Derdick!
- What is going on?
- Well, bad news,
Matt and Molly.
Apparently, the Jackoffs
know where I'm staying.
- Maybe you should
send Momo after them.
- Or Ellie?
Right? Just imagine
just a crazy chick
in a melted Pooka mask.
That's scarier than Momo.
- What if we did that?
- Did what?
- What if we made our own Momo?
But for adults, based on Ellie?
You know, really fuck
with other people online
for a change, especially Jax.
We could go viral.
- But how do you make it, you
know, spread on the internet?
People love
to join in on stupid shit.
We just come up with
some ridiculous ritual
that you can do to summon Pooka.
It'll be like Bloody Mary
meets the ice bucket challenge.
Okay, okay,
what could the ritual be?
Well, if it's
involving Pooka,
maybe we have 'em do
the Pooka dance thing,
the Pooka-see, Pooka-do thing,
like, whatever that is?
Okay, yeah,
that is kinda cute.
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
something like that, but...
more stupid.
- Yeah.
Well, she
burned herself alive.
Why don't we get people to eat
something really, really spicy?
- No, the spicy food
challenge stuff,
like the Hot Ones thing,
that's played out,
that's too hacked.
But eating something,
that's always a big thing.
That's good, but
what would it be?
- What about ash?
- Morbid.
I love it, Susan.
Thank you.
In order to do
the full ceremony,
you eat ash, symbolizing
the Salem witch trials,
where her ancestors
were punished.
Put on the Pooka mask
and do the Pooka dance
while singing the full lyrics.
The spell goes,
"Pooka see, Pooka do.
If you're bad,
he'll come for you.
With fuzzy ears and eyes of red,
you'd best behave
or else you're dead."
All right, I think I got it.
Ellie's fake family history
about her ancestors
being witches,
bunch of random mysticism
courtesy of Molly.
Yeah!
- You do all of this
and Pooka will judge
if you're naughty.
You can even challenge
your friends to join in.
- That's where it's at.
Yeah, guys,
I don't know about this.
That's an angry spirit
you're messing with.
Can we just not post it?
Molly, see, this is why
Lauren always has nightmares,
'cause you talk about
this stuff like it's real.
- Come on, Molly.
Live a-- live a little!
- Bennie, you're so stoned!
Stop eating the brownies!
- But they're delicious!
My God,
you're so high!
- But seriously...
I think you should post it.
Because if Amir sees it,
he will lose his shit.
- Done.
All right,
you're finished, great.
But this creative genius
has got to go to bed.
Finished!
- I'm never
getting high again.
- Hey, Jaxers!
It's ya boy, Jax.
Ya'll have been begging me
to try this whole
Pooka Challenge.
Here we go.
Now, if I've been naughty,
which, come on, I'm Jax, y'all,
Pooka will come and beat
the shit outta me, okay?
So I've decided to risk
it all for you Jaxers.
Here we go.
Bone apple teeth!
Yecch.
That's nasty.
I challenge my bros
Frotropious and WillyTT
to take the challenge.
Subscribe.
Yo, you have to do
the Pooka Challenge.
Even Jax did it.
Get me a Pooka mask stat.
- What did Jax do?
Um ...it's called
Google, old man.
- Holy shit, we're trending!
- My God, did you see?
- Yes, yes, we
actually went viral!
- I know, right?
By the way, ash tastes terrible.
- What-- you...
you actually tried it?
We made it up!
- I know, I had to!
Kathy made everyone
in the office do it.
But, you know,
good work, copywriter.
So, hey, would you maybe
wanna get dinner tomorrow?
You know, catch up?
- Yeah-- yeah, sure.
Cool. Well,
how 'bout Footsies?
- Is that like literally
the only restaurant in town?
- What? I love the breadsticks.
Susan!
- Yeah.
- We are facing a code red
PR crisis.
What are you doing
to help out, exactly?
- I'm just giving Derrick notes
on his copy for Pooka Day.
- Okay. Your little-ass pal
is the least of our worries.
I need you to please
get your head in the game.
- I'm sorry, sir,
I'm-- I'm coming.
Ho-ho my God!
Stores are selling out
of the Pooka mask.
We better be getting a fat
royalty check for this.
- I thought I imagined
this whole thing.
Do not ever let me taste
your baked goods again, Matt.
- Fuck Jax, I can't
believe he actually did it.
- Well, I mean, I did it too
'cause, like, you know,
what he does, I do.
Usually, it's just...
I mean, I stay
on trend, you know?
I just try and
keep up with the...
Okay.
I got daddy duty.
You guys have a good time.
Here you go, Bennie.
- Ew! Matt!
- What? No beer
left behind, right?
See you guys later.
Social media influencers
have taken the
internet by storm,
igniting the Pooka Challenge.
Experts are saying
this is quickly becoming
the biggest internet
sensation of all time.
- The most influential
thing I've ever written.
And I can't even
take credit for it.
- Whatever, man.
Don't these things
just blow over anyway?
- No, no, they
definitely do not.
I have over a half a million
followers who are trolling me
and they are not letting it go.
- And a stalker.
- What?
No.
No.
"Hey. This is Derrick's friend
the police officer.
Now I have your
cell number, asshole."
You're welcome.
- My hero.
- All right, well,
I'm calling it.
I got an early shift tomorrow.
Get home safe, bud.
- Goodnight, Officer.
- Okay, so, we're
gonna go to the beach,
you know, get shirtless,
and then fuck up
some Pooka toys.
Yeah. Obviously, I'm gonna
livestream it.
Wh-- I'm deadass, Brad!
Yeah, I don't care
if it's littering.
Bro, this whole Pooka thing
is getting me way more views
than the IG pics of my abs.
Yeah, I know, I didn't
believe it either.
Anyways, we are riding this wave
to a new brand deal, okay?
Deal!
Fuckin' toy.
What up, Jaxers?
It's ya boy Jax
coming to you live!
Just wanna say a quick
little thank you
to everyone for supporting
me on my latest video.
Anyways,
just wanted to say
I have a very, very
special treat lined up
for all you Pooka fans,
you already--
Sorry, Jaxers, just
got a little distracted.
What the hell?
Help!
Someone help me!
Help!
Mom!
- Fucking influencers.
Cheers.
- Cheers!
My God.
Remember when my mom
used to drop us off here?
Yes!
And those ominous warnings
she used to give us?
"Be safe."
Like she thought we were just
gonna go into the bathroom
and start bangin'.
- I mean, nothing turns me on
like garlic and butter.
- So you, meeting
a lot of new people?
- Yeah, well, I'm seeing,
like, five guys at once, so.
Really mastered
playing the field
here in Spring Valley.
- I am very proud of you.
But seriously, are you?
- No!
Have you seen how busy I am?
Every living thing
in my house dies.
I can't commit to a human.
So, um... you got any
ideas for your next book?
- I think it's safe to say
that my writing career
is pretty much over.
- You can't just
give up, Derrick.
You've always wanted
to be a writer.
- Yeah, well, that was before
the world thought
I was an asshole.
Now they could care less
what I have to say.
- So what are you gonna do?
- Play it by ear.
Hopefully, this
whole thing dies down
and then I get a writing job
doing food reviews
for a little
gazette in New York.
- So you're going
back there, then?
- Maybe.
I don't know, that's
where my life was.
- So, um... aww...
- WHAT?
Do you ever think
what would've happened
if we stayed together?
Well, I would be
miserable in New York
or you would be miserable here.
- Come on.
It's New York, Susan.
- Yeah, that's what
I'm talking about.
I actually like it
here and you don't.
All you've ever wanted
is to get out and be seen.
- What does that mean?
- Don't act like you don't know.
I mean, this whole
thing with Jax.
I mean, you hate it but
you're obsessed with it.
Why don't you just delete
your social profiles?
I'm just saying that
what you wanted isn't here.
And all I've ever wanted is...
- What, to be in a
town full of nobodies
obsessed with some
obnoxious children's toy?
- So this life that
you have up there,
how many people
actually gave a shit
when all this went down?
- Okay, you know what?
It's New York, okay?
I got dropped.
They'll welcome
me back eventually.
- Okay, well here
in Spring Valley,
there's people like Molly
who open their home to you
because they're good people.
I mean, did you even visit
Molly when she had Lauren?
Yeah, I didn't think so.
I mean, when you left,
you just dropped all of us.
You got successful
and then all of a sudden
it was like none of us
even mattered anymore.
Until you needed us.
So don't you dare act
like you're better
than this place.
Hey-- Susan, Susan!
- I'm parked down there.
- Okay, I'll walk
you to your car.
- No, it's cool, I got it.
- Hey, listen, I'm sorry
about what I said before,
I didn't mean it.
- No, you did.
And that's just who you are,
and that's okay.
And it was really great
catching up with you.
I'll see you at the office.
- Yeah, okay, just...
Bye, Susan!
God, Amir, fuck Pooka!
Andy?
"You've been naughty"?
My God.
- Susan!
- Jesus Christ, Derrick!
- What happened?
- I was attacked!
- Attacked? By who?
- I don't know,
I don't know what...
- Your car.
- "Naughty"?
- What?!
So you were
attacked by someone
wearing a Pooka suit?
- Yeah, I think so.
Derrick and I had
just finished dinner,
and then, he was just at my car,
and he had...
he had these scissors.
Like we wrote in the story.
And then he was just gone.
- I got a text from the stalker
just as she was being attacked.
- Does someone know
we posted that story?
- Can't we just
take it down, Derrick?
- I-- no one knows
it was actually us
that posted it.
- You won't delete it
because it's popular,
won't you?
It's out there now.
- Bennie, I mean, should
we be worried, or...
- I don't know.
Just be careful,
keep your doors locked.
Suzie, I'm gonna take
you down to the station
so we can file a report.
And I'm gonna run that number
that's been harassing you,
see who it belongs to.
- Yeah, no, thanks.
Suzie, I'm really
sorry about that.
Yeah.
Knock, knock!
- Hey! Molly, what's up?
I just wanted to
make sure you were okay.
Seemed kinda tense down
there with Susan?
Yeah.
I, really fucked up.
Started thinking
maybe you were right,
so I was checking to see
if anyone figured out
it was us.
This thing's really taken
on a life of its own.
- What do you mean?
People keep adding to it,
saying that it has
razor-sharp claws,
can teleport...
Starting to talk about it
like it's actually real.
- Well, they probably
do think it's real.
Never underestimate
how willing people are
to believe in something.
Did you know in some cultures,
they actually believe
the imagination can create
things that...
I'm gonna stop talking now.
Goodnight.
Hey, Moll?
- Yep?
You know, it's
not too late for me to get
a hotel room or something.
This is a lot to deal with.
You guys have done
enough already.
Are you kidding?
You were already chased
out of your home once.
I am not letting
that happen again.
- You're a better friend
than I deserve, Moll.
Very true.
Goodnight.
Hey, Derdick!
Here.
- What's this?
Some stuff Amir needs
for the big shindig tomorrow.
Pooka 2.0, baby!
So, yeah, he apparently
wanted it yesterday, so.
- Yesterday?
Thanks for the prompt delivery.
- Hey, no sweat, dude.
Peace out.
- Hey, hey, I was...
looking for you all day.
Is everything all right?
- Yeah, you know, just
swamped with the event.
- Yeah, I was, um, wondering
if we could maybe
try that whole...
dinner thing again tonight?
I'm clearly very rusty.
- I actually
asked Molly and Matt
if they would hang out
tonight, so, um, sorry.
- Got it! Yeah, duh.
I still have to finish
that whole speech thing
for your event, tomorrow.
So, um, I will see you there
at the...
In international news,
Alex Butler was
arrested in Berlin
for murdering his family
after police responded
to sounds of screaming
coming from the household.
Reports indicate
there were four victims:
his wife and their
three children.
Eyewitnesses reported
that upon being arrested,
the suspect was apparently
hysterically claiming
that he was innocent
and that a creature
actually committed the murders
after they did the
now-infamous Pooka Challenge.
We'll have more details soon.
- This can't be real.
Here you go.
Pooka see, Pooka do.
If you're bad,
he'll come for you.
With furry ears and eyes of red,
best be good
or else you're dead.
Just what I thought.
You're just a stupid kids' toy.
Fuck...
Hello?
Andy, if that's you...
I'm definitely going
straight to HR.
Stupid fuckin' Pooka.
Shit!
Hey, are you all right?
- No!
- Swing and a miss.
- Hi, Derrick.
You do know this isn't
actually the only place in town.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine!
Everything's fine!
I just got attacked
by a giant kids' toy!
- What, the guy from last night?
No, no, everyone,
just-- just listen to me.
Whatever it is that
tried to kill me, um...
it wasn't human.
You okay, man, or...
I'm serious.
I did the ritual, and...
...I think I summoned Pooka.
The ritual?
The same ritual we
did the other day
while drunk, the one
we made up completely?
Okay, okay, okay, just...
hear me out.
What if the singing,
the dancing, the ash,
the whole Pooka thing,
what if it actually works?
What did I tell you?
What did I tell you guys about
fucking with angry spirits?
Derrick,
I know you're upset,
but listen to yourself--
- I know what I saw!
- Okay, your parents
just called,
so they're on their way home.
That means bedtime.
- But you said
you'd tell us a story.
Yeah, well, last time
I read you and Jenni something,
your parents almost fired me.
You want your Pooka doll?
What, why not? You love Pooka.
- It's going to get me.
- Don't tell me you're
scared of that viral thing.
Lauren, you're getting too
old for this kind of stuff.
Here.
I'll prove to you...
there's nothing to be afraid of.
Naughty?
Mrs. C, are you home?
Lauren, is that you?
- Becky, we're home.
- I'll check upstairs.
- Yeah.
Becky?
She's not up there.
What? I just talked to her.
Did she leave?
- I don't know,
maybe she bailed.
- She bailed? My
God, she is so fired.
Maybe Pooka got her.
- My God, here we go.
Maybe it's the babysitter?
Matt, what the hell?
What are you doing here, Bennie?
I came to talk to
Derrick about that phone number
since he wasn't
answering my calls.
What, did something happen?
- Pooka attacked
me at the office.
We think it's Ellie's ghost.
No, that...
that's what Molly thinks.
- Matt, Ellie
murdered her husband
- and burnt herself alive...
- And that means now
that there's a toy roaming
the streets killing people?
No, it means that
her spirit is not at rest,
and that ritual we made
could be channeling it
and manifesting as Pooka.
So what did you find out?
- Well I traced the phone number
that's been harassing you.
It belongs to some kid
named Andy Jorgensen.
- Andy?
- He works at SCI.
I mean, the guy's a douchebag,
but I don't think he'd
actually attack anybody.
Well, I tracked
the phone number.
He's at Ellie's
old place right now.
I'm gonna go check it out and
I'll let you know what I find.
No, no, no, it's
not safe for you, Bennie.
This is not something
you can arrest.
Whatever that thing is,
it is not just some kid
wearing a costume.
- Okay, Derrick, take
a breath, calm down.
Okay, listen,
if it's a ghost,
then the only way
to get rid of it
is to purify the
place where it died.
So, here, okay.
You burn the sage,
you sprinkle the salt...
- Guys, I don't think...
- Burn the sage
- and sprinkle the salt?
- I'm coming with you.
If this is because of
the ritual, I did it too.
- Guys.
- So I want to help.
- You did it?
- Okay!
Everybody take
a breath and calm down.
This is getting ridiculous.
For once in my life,
I agree with Matt.
Wow.
- There are no such
thing as ghosts.
Okay, so I am going to Ellie's
and I am bringing in Andy
because I am an
officer of the law.
Now, if you two want to
come with me, that's fine,
only because I know
you'll follow me anyway.
- That's true. All right.
- Call us if you need
any help, okay?
Yeah,
and be careful of the spirits
and the ghosts and the goblins.
And the Easter Bunny,
and Santa Claus,
and elves and shit.
- Never having sex again.
- Not creepy at all.
- I'm gonna check it out.
Stay behind me.
- You still have that
old thing I gave you?
- It was your,
goodbye present to me.
You know I bought
it for like five bucks
at Claire's, right?
- Sentimental value.
- No sign of a break-in.
Well, how
are we gonna get in?
- Wait, did...
did I just hear
someone call for help?
- What? No, I-- I
didn't hear anything.
- I don't think so.
- No, I definitely heard
someone call for help.
It's a cop thing.
- Okay, okay,
there is a Burmese demon
called a Belu
that shapeshifts
and eats people.
- Maybe it's one of those.
- Yeah.
You should probably
call Ghostbusters.
Maybe they can figure it out.
Okay, what's with
the condescending attitude?
- No, sorry, you're right.
Let's just jump
to the conclusion
that ghosts and demons exist
and they're stalking
our friends.
- I remember when you loved
that I was into this stuff,
and now it just
seems to annoy you.
- I just wish you were a bit
more realistic sometimes.
- What?
- Molly, our daughter
believes she has an invisible
friend because of you.
- So?
- She's 8 years old, Moll!
She shouldn't be learning
about Tibetan mysticism.
I'm sorry
that I think there's
more to the world
than drinking beer
and watching television.
- My God, look,
it's not a demon.
It's just some people
being idiots online.
- Well, it's clear we
see things differently.
My God.
Mom, Dad?
- Hey, bud.
- Hey, baby.
Did you have another bad dream?
- No.
There's someone in my room.
- So, um, what is it
that we're looking for?
Some sign of Pooka.
No, we're looking to see
if a person has
been here recently.
I'm probably the first
black guy to say this to a cop,
but I'd feel a lot safer
if you'd take out your gun.
- I don't know, man.
I didn't pack my silver bullets.
- Hey, look.
- So this is where it happened.
Jenni and I saw something.
No, Jenni, you just
imagined you saw something.
But it's Pooka,
he was watching me.
No, baby, we told you
that was just
a story we made up.
- Becky did it.
- Becky did what?
- She did the dance
and put it online
and now she's gone.
Honey...
where is Becky?
Moll, no, stop,
just watch Lauren.
I'm gonna check the room.
No.
No, Matt!
Matt, don't you go in that room!
Molly, look at me!
Monsters don't exist!
- What...
I can't believe I'm
the bad guy in this situation.
- Was that a phone?
- If ghosts had phones.
- Damn light bulbs.
Where'd you say you saw it?
- In the closet.
- "You've been naughty."
Police.
This is the police.
Show yourself.
I guess we can rule out Andy.
I think that's safe to say.
- All right, I'm gonna
have to call this in.
Call this in.
Susan...
- Bennie!
Fuck!
Shit!
- Matt, Matt!
You stay here.
Holy shit!
Holy shit, what is that thing?
Holy shit!
And what is it wearing?
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.
Get downstairs now.
Go, go, go!
Well, Molly, I think
it's safe to say that
you were probably right.
- Probably?
Get outta here now!
- No, no, Bennie, we
are not leaving you.
- Hey, asshole!
That was not even close.
Yeah, writer here.
Hey!
No, not my Himalayan
salt crystal!
Go, go, go, go, go!
What's wrong?
Nothing.
It's just a really big rat.
- You're going to stab it?
- Yeah, it's a big monster rat.
Now get in the pantry.
Go, go, go!
- Be gone, evil spirit!
Aren't you supposed to light it?
- I don't know!
Shit, shit!
- Hey!
- Damn it, Molly!
- God damn it, you guys!
Great idea, Matt.
Now we're in a small
room with no exit!
What do we do now?
- I don't know!
Is that Becky?
It's okay, baby.
She's just napping.
- What?
- Guys?
The hole!
He needs a doctor.
Let's get him
the hell outta here.
Go see if it's gone.
Wow.
What?
- What?
Hey, are you okay?
No, yeah, neither am I.
- No.
- What?
- It's Bennie.
Jesus, Amir.
It's like 2 a. m.
Why are you still awake?
Is this really the
safest place you could think of?
- What? It's our spot.
- Hey, guys.
What happened to Bennie?
- Hey, bud, do you want to see
if you can try and beat
Daddy's high score
on the old video game
over there, Gut Wrencher?
- You're going to talk
about adult stuff, aren't you?
- Yeah, we are.
Here you go.
- Come on, Jenni.
- That kid's gonna need some
therapy when we're all done.
- Yeah.
So we took
Bennie to the hospital,
so he's gonna be okay.
Pooka attacked him.
Which was incredibly difficult
to explain to the police,
but at least we know
it wasn't Andy,
and your magic herbs
and spices didn't do jack.
Well, Pooka showed
up at our house too.
He was in Lauren's closet.
And he...
he killed our babysitter.
What?
My God.
Wait, if Pooka was
at your house, too,
can ghosts show up
in two places at once?
- I don't think so.
- And why was it wearing
those, like, German kid shorts?
- What?
- Those German shorts,
the ones, like the high ones
that German kids wear,
with the suspenders on them.
What are you talking about?
The stupid, like,
German kid shorts,
the green ones
with the straps...
Guys, guys, guys, guys.
What?
- I think I figured it out.
- What?
- I think the internet
literally created a monster.
The fuck are you
talking about, Derrick?
- Just listen to me, all right?
There's the original
Pooka, right?
That's the one
that attacked Susan.
But then people kept
adding stuff to the story,
like claws.
That's the one that attacked me.
Tonight, the one
that attacked you guys.
- Did it look like this?
- Yes.
That's the fan
art that went viral!
That's the German kid shorts!
So you're saying
that whatever people
are talking about
online is coming true?
- Not everything, I think.
Just the stuff
that's super popular.
My God.
My God, that's it, that's it!
It's a Tulpa.
- A what?
- What?
Okay, so, Tulpas were
created by Tibetan monks.
They would focus their
thoughts on creating
spiritual companions
to aid them.
- Like Jenni?
- Kind of.
Tulpas are
completely autonomous,
so your thoughts give it life
but you don't
necessarily control it.
- Like Fight Club!
- Yes, like Fight Club.
- I mean, it tracks.
If the internet is making
everyone think of something,
then that could create a Tulpa.
- Yeah, so if a bunch of
shitheads online are doing it,
of course it's evil,
but how do we get rid of it?
- Well, that's easy.
You just get everybody to...
stop thinking about it.
- Guys, whatever we're gonna
do, we better do it now.
God, what now?
Someone just posted a story
about the Pooka unveiling.
It says once the new
toy is shown off,
all the old ones are
gonna come to life
and wipe out humanity.
They're saying it's Pooka's
revenge for trying to change it.
My God.
The event... it's today.
What if Pooka shows
up at your mom's house?
My mom still
has dial-up internet.
I'm pretty sure she's not gonna
do any internet challenges.
Lauren will be safe there.
Hey, I wouldn't suggest
having a drink right now, Matt.
If I'm gonna get
murdered by some demonic toy,
I'm gonna be buzzed
when it happens, okay?
I don't understand.
There's been viral stuff before.
How come we've never seen,
like, a monster Grumpy Cat?
Well, maybe because
it has Ellie's ghost's help.
Okay, okay,
so we just need
something else to go viral
to get people to stop
talking about Pooka.
- I don't know that we can.
There's even a link
to watch a live stream
of the event.
If only we didn't make
the story so scary.
- That's it!
- What's it?
- The story.
We just change the story!
- Well, it's already out there.
Okay, but the
story that I read Lauren
with the bears, I just
change the ending for her,
so we just do the same
thing with Pooka.
So we just write
that Pooka is dead
and then that's it?
No, that won't
exactly get people talking.
What if we give
it a silver bullet?
We invent something that
can actually kill Pooka.
- The original Pooka doll.
We could use that
as a weak spot.
Yes! Amir keeps
it in his office.
We could just say
that you have to burn it,
the same way Ellie
did with her husband.
Say that you have to
do it by the unveiling,
otherwise it won't work.
People love a climactic ending.
Look, we'll head to launch,
then we'll split up.
Matt, Molly, you
guys get the doll.
Susan, we're gonna have
to wreck that event.
- I'm so ready for a new job.
- All right, let's do this.
Go...
- We are not doing that.
- Okay.
We've got an hour
until the presentation starts.
- The story's still
holding up, for now.
- Remember, the doll
is in Amir's office.
- We got this.
I'm still seeing
some marks here,
so I really need
those cleaned up.
Susan, hi!
So great of you to show
up to your own event
after ducking my calls
for the last 24 hours.
Wow, Amir, I am so sorry
I didn't respond to
your 800 texts at 2 a. m.
- No, it's just good
for me to know
that Pooka isn't your
number one priority,
so, awesome.
And you, thank you so much
for not finishing
that speech of mine!
You can consider yourself fired.
Shit, this was my dream job.
- Amir, listen.
You cannot present that toy.
People are saying
that something awful
is gonna happen
at the unveiling.
- Yeah, of course they are.
We posted that.
The whole "Pooka Monster"
trend was so popular,
we figured an apocalypse would
really get people to tune in.
It's just a story,
Susan, calm down!
All right, guys.
Let's go, people!
Let's open the doors
and let everyone in here!
- I really hate him.
- Yeah, I get that.
- Okay, Susan said left.
No, she said right,
she said right.
- Which door is it?
- ... that one feels right.
- What do you mean,
"feels right"?
All right,
testing, testing, testing!
Hello, Pooka Nation!
Yeah!
Are you guys ready
for some exciting news?
Yeah, you are.
- No, no, no,
he can't go on yet,
he can't show the toy,
we haven't done the thing.
No.
They're saying that we
didn't get the story right.
David Burgis
wasn't burned alive.
He was stabbed to death!
We have to stab the doll?
Yes.
- That'll work.
- We gotta stop Matt
and Molly before
they burn that doll.
What are you doing?
- They gotta see it.
I'm gonna live stream
the whole thing.
Stall, I'm gonna
find Matt and Molly.
- Stall.
What is that, Moll?
It's a prayer stick.
It wards off evil.
- Isn't that kinda
cultural appropriation?
- Is it?
- I don't know, is it?
- There it is.
- Fucking just-- let's
burn it right here.
Okay.
Matt, stay down!
See, it wards off evil.
We here at
Spectacular Contraptions
really pride ourselves
in bringing you
the best in kids' enjoyment,
which is why we love Pooka!
Are you nice? Are you naughty?
Only Pooka knows!
Hi!
Hi, um, so sorry, Amir.
I was wondering if I
could say a few words.
- No, no, that's
okay, thank you.
- No, but I do have something
really important to add.
No, we're good,
I'm handling it...
It'll just be one second.
Hi, um...
So, I just really...
wanted to reflect on Pooka.
- The last place I want to be
if all these Pooka
dolls come to life.
- That looks bad, Matt.
"It's only a flesh wound."
I meant it, by the way.
- What?
That I love your quirks.
No, I'm gonna try and be better
and more open to that shit.
Just the candles and the salts
and all the rocks
and stuff like that.
I just... I love you.
And, um, you were clearly
right about all this stuff.
- No, no, listen.
This is... this is a lot,
and, I can be a lot.
But I love you--
- Shh, shush.
- Did you just shush me?
- No, no, shut up, shut up.
Listen, listen.
Thank God, okay...
Fuck.
- When I think about my
first experience with Pooka,
well, I was in my thirties,
but I felt like a kid again.
- That's fine,
I think we got it.
No, I think we got it.
Very moving.
Very moving, great story.
Shit!
Burn the fucking doll, Molly!
I lost the original.
Hey, you fucked-up Easter Bunny.
Come get some.
- What are you doing?
- We gotta stab the doll.
Wait, I thought we
were supposed to burn it!
- Yeah, well, they
changed the story.
We gotta live stream it too.
Matt, here.
Derrick, there's fucking
thousands of people watching
but they're all fucking
rooting for Pooka.
Here, catch!
- It's not working!
- Sorry, it's the wrong one!
Can you hurry up
and find the right one?
- I am trying!
Is this it?
I'm sorry, they
all look the same!
How's he doing?
- I don't know,
I can't see anything.
Shit, there he is.
He's not doing good!
- God.
- Get off my ex!
- Holy shit!
What, what, what?
What is happening?
It's Susan,
she's kicking Pooka's ass!
- I can't believe I'm
missing all of this!
No.
Susan.
Susan.
My God.
I found it, I found it!
- Give me Pooka, now!
Where's the scissors?
Bennie!
God damn,
he's so fucking hot.
- Sorry I'm late.
Bennie, scissors!
- You're canceled.
- So how long have you been
rehearsing that line in your head?
- How'd you find us?
- I saw your live stream.
Looked like you
could use some help.
- Wanna cut me a break?
I just killed a demon.
- No, you can't do everything.
- Hey, can we go home now?
It worked.
We killed Pooka.
Let me check on the unveiling.
Without further ado,
I bring you the new Pooka!
- Wait, guys,
#apookalypse is trending.
Yeah, Pooka!
What happened?
No, no, no, no, no.
We did-- we did the thing,
we did the thing!
- It's the internet.
They won't let Pooka die.
Hey, guys...
it's happening.
They're coming to life.
- You said nothing interesting
ever happens in Spring Valley.
- I'll never say anything
bad about home again.