In Living Color (1990–1994): Season 5, Episode 26 - The Champ - full transcript
The Wayans siblings present an African-American focused sketch comedy show.
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪
♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪
- ♪ TAKE IT FROM ME
IT'S A'IGHT TO BE ♪
- HI-YAH!
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ AND HOW WOULD YA... HOW
WOULD YA... HOW WOULD YA F... ♪
♪ HOW WOULD YOU FEEL KNOWING
PREJUDICE WAS OBSOLETE ♪
♪ AND ALL MANKIND
DANCED TO THE EXACT BEAT ♪
♪ AND AT NIGHT IT WAS SAFE
TO WALK DOWN THE STREET ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪♪
ALL RIGHT, CLASS.
CLASS! STOP IT!
TAKE YOUR SEATS.
TAKE YOUR SEATS!
I DON'T WANT TO SEE ANY
OF YOU AFTER SCHOOL. GOOD.
NOW, CLASS, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A
NEW STUDENT JOIN OUR CLASS TODAY.
HE'S A LITTLE BIT OLDER
THAN THE REST OF US...
BUT HE WANTS TO FINISH
HIS EDUCATION, OKAY?
UM... WHERE IS HE?
YEAH, WHERE IS HE?
UH, HA-HA... CARL WILLIAMS?
YOU CAN CALL ME THE TOOTH,
'CAUSE ALL MY FRIENDS CALL ME THAT.
UH...
- 'CAUSE YOU HAVE ONE TOOTH?
- WELL, YOU KNOW, I NEVER
REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT.
BUT I DO HAVE ONE TOOTH.
UH, I HAVE BROUGHT YOU
THE TRADITIONAL APPLE.
OH, WELL, THANK YOU!
AIN'T NO THING. IT'S GOT...
IT-IT... IT HAS A TOOTH BITE IN IT.
YEAH, WELL SEE, IT'S ALL GOOD.
SEE, I GOT HUNGRY WAITING ON THAT...
ON THAT BIG GREEN SCHOOL
BUS THAT COME PICK US UP, MAN.
BIG GREEN? THAT SOUNDS
LIKE A-A GARBAGE TRUCK.
HEY, NO WONDER THEY HAD ME
HANGING OFF THE BACK OF THAT THING.
YOU KNOW, I WAS THINKING,
IT SURE WAS STINKING.
YEAH, WELL, WHAT'S UP?
YEAH! BRING IT ON. LET'S BOX.
YOU AIN'T GOT NOTHING.
YOU AIN'T GOT NOTHING.
UH, UH, TOOTHY.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YEAH, YEAH. I'M TRYIN' TO
GET UP IN HIS HEAD. WHASSUP?
HUH? WHASSUP? UH, MR. WILLIAMS?
MR. WILLIAMS.
MR. WILLIAMS, PLEASE...
DON'T THROW IN THE TOWEL,
TEACHER. I'M TELLING YOU,
I COULD TAKE HIM. HE AIN'T
NOTHIN' BUT SKIN AND BONES.
MR. WILLIAMS, SINCE YOU'RE NEW, HOW
WOULD YOU LIKE TO LEAD THE CLASS...
IN THE PLEDGE OF
ALLEGIANCE? OH, IT'S ALL GOOD.
I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO...
THE UNITED STATES OF A-AMERA...
AMERICA. YEAH, BASICALLY.
AND UH, TO THE REPUBLIC
FOR A STANDING EIGHT COUNT...
AND AFTER THAT, YOU SHOULD GO INTO
YOUR NEUTRAL CORNERS UNTIL I CALL FOR YOU.
NO BLOWS BELOW THE BELT AND
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT.
ANYTHING YOU SAY CAN
AND WILL BE USED AGAINST
YOU, AND LET'S ALL
STAND FOR JUDGE WAPNER.
NICE TRY, CARL. WOULD
YOU PLEASE SIT DOWN? AMEN.
UM...
NOW, THE SUBJECT FOR TODAY IS
THE HUMAN ANATOMY, ALL RIGHT?
NOW, WHO WOULD
LIKE TO TELL ME...
HOW MANY BONES ARE
FOUND IN THE HUMAN BODY?
YES? YOU KNOW, I KNOW I'M
OUT OF PLACE AND I DON'T MEAN...
TO STEP IN FRONT OF THE
WHITE GIRL, BUT I WOULD LIKE...
I WOULD LIKE TO ANSWER THE
QUESTION, AND I BELIEVE IT IS 733?
NO.
- NO. THAT'S WAY TOO MANY BONES.
- WELL, YOU SHOULDA SEEN
THE X-RAYS...
- AFTER I HAD
THE HOLYFIELD FIGHT.
- YOU FOUGHT EVANDER HOLYFIELD?
YES I DID. I WAS IN THE CHEAP SEATS
AND I WAS GOING, YOU KNOW, TO MY SEAT...
TRYIN' TO GET BY SOMEBODY?
AND I SLIPPED AND FELL...
'CAUSE I WAS TRYIN' TO CATCH MY PEANUTS,
'CAUSE THEM PEANUTS, THEY WAS GOOD...
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? I SEE.
YES. ALL RIGHT, LET'S MOVE
ON TO OUR LAB SUBJECT.
WAIT, NOW TODAY, WE'RE
GOING TO DISSECT THIS FROG...
TO SEE WHAT THE
INTERNAL MAKEUP IS.
- WHO WOULD LIKE TO VOLUNTEER?
- YOU KNOW, I MAY BE
OUT OF LINE...
AH, NO! BUT I DON'T WANT TO GET
AHEAD OF ANYBODY ELSE, BUT...
WELL, WELL... BUT I WOULD
LOVE TO SEE THE FROG.
CARL, OF COURSE.
COME ON, NOW, YOU SEE...
OH, EXCUSE ME.
ALL RIGHT, BOYS, BOYS. ALL
RIGHT. YOU BETTER CHILL OUT, JACK.
ALL RIGHT, BOYS. TEVIN CAMPBELL.
ALL RIGHT. WHAT WE NEED TO DO...
ARE WE READY? YEAH.
OKAY. WHAT WE NEED TO DO...
IS CAREFULLY OPEN UP THE FROG'S
THORACIC CAVITY WITH THE SCALPEL.
YEAH. NOW, DO YOU KNOW
WHAT A THORACIC CAVITY IS?
WELL, BASICALLY, I HAVE HAD
A LOT OF CAVITIES AND, UH...
WHICH HAS LEFT ME
THE WAY I AM. UH-HUH.
SO I DON'T NEED NO
INSTRUMENT, YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE
ALL I NEED IS THESE
GLOVES TO OPEN 'EM UP...
'CAUSE I... THESE ARE PRECISE,
YOU KNOW, THESE ARE...
PRECISE INSTRUMENTS, YOU
KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? MM-HMM.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? OH!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YOU'VE RUINED THE SPECIMEN.
OH, YOU NEED A SPECIMEN?
WELL, LET ME RUN TO
THE BATHROOM REAL
QUICK AND I'LL HAVE YOU...
MR. WILLIAMS, I DON'T WANT TO
HAVE TO SEE YOU AFTER SCHOOL!
OH. YOU DON'T OR YOU DO? 'CAUSE, YOU KNOW,
IT SOUNDED LIKE, YOU KNOW, I'M TRYIN' TO,
YOU KNOW, GET MY LITTLE THING
GOIN'... I'M IN TRAINING RIGHT NOW,
SO I GOTTA SAVE ALL
MY FLUIDS, YOU KNOW,
BUT I'LL MAKE A EXCEPTION WITH
YOU, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
HEY, GIRL! YO, YOU KNOW,
YOU WAS RIGHT, MICK.
WOMEN DO SAP YOUR
ENERGY, MAN. I'M CRAZY.
FINE. CLASS DISMISSED. GET OF HERE. I
DON'T WANT TO SEE ANY OF YOU ANYMORE.
♪♪
♪♪
FREEZE! GET DOWN.
♪♪
FROM CELL BLOCK 9, PRISON
CABLE NETWORK PRESENTS:
LIGHTS OUT WITH ANGEL MARTINEZ.
FEATURING TINY AND THE
LETHAL INJECTION ORCHESTRA,
AND ME... CHARLIE MAGIC.
NOW, A MAN WHO HASN'T LOST
HIS APPEAL, HE JUST LIKES IT HERE...
ANGEL...
MARTINEZ!
HI-HI!
YEAH, I MEAN, IT WAS VERY COLD
LAST NIGHT IN MY CELL BLOCK.
- HOW COLD WAS IT?
- IT WAS SO COLD LAST NIGHT...
I HAD TO SET THREE GUARDS ON
FIRE JUST TO KEEP MY FEET WARM.
♪♪
NOW, LET'S WELCOME
TINY AND HIS BAND.
TINY, YOU ARE LOOKING
SO GOOD TONIGHT, MAN.
ESPECIALLY SINCE I'M MISSING
MY CONJUGAL MONTHLY VISITS.
UH, THANK YOU. IT'S NICE TO BE
HERE ONCE AGAIN WITH YOU, ANGEL.
NOW, I WOULD LIKE TO INTRODUCE
THE BAND. THIS ALL THEM.
NOW IT'S TIME TO BRING
OUT OUR FIRST GUEST.
HE'S THE MOST POPULAR INMATE WE HAVE
HERE, PETEY JOHNSON. COME ON OUT, PETEY.
♪♪
DON'T TRY TO GET IN
MY CIRCLE, MAN. OKAY.
UNLESS YOU'RE
PART OF THE FAMILY.
SOMETIMES CHARLIE GETS
VERY, VERY EMOTIONAL. PETEY,
WHY DON'T YOU TELL US ABOUT... WELL, WE
ALREADY KNOW ABOUT YOUR LITTLE SECRET,
BUT WHY DON'T YOU TELL
EVERYBODY ABOUT IT?
WELL, I RECENTLY
HAD A SEX CHANGE.
THANK YOU.
MAD DOG, DOWN AT THE LAUNDRY
ROOM, DID IT WITH A FEW, UH,
STEAM PRESSES AND SOME
TOOLS HE STOLE FROM WOODSHED.
I GAVE CHARLIE THE LEFTOVERS.
NOW, LET ME ASK YOU ONE QUESTION. WHY DID
YOU GET THE OPERATION IN THE FIRST PLACE?
I'VE ALWAYS FELT LIKE A
WOMAN STUCK IN A MAN'S BODY.
AY, USUALLY AROUND HERE,
IT'S A MAN IN A MAN'S BODY.
BY THE WAY, HOW MUCH DID
THAT OPERATION COST YOU?
LISTEN, ANGEL, THIS OPERATION
SET ME BACK 8,000 CIGARETTES.
LOOK, I WOULDN'T EVEN WORRY
ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
LOOK LIKE YOU BETTER GO ON BACK AND
GIT YOU SOME BIGGER BREASTS. OH, MY GOD!
TINY! TINY, OH MAN, YOU
SCARED AWAY THE GUEST, MAN.
I'M SORRY. GET OUTTA HERE, MAN.
WELL, I GUESS THAT MEANS IT'S
TIME FOR STUPID PUNK TRICKS.
NOW REMEMBER, THIS
IS NOT A COMPETITION.
THIS IS MERELY AN EXHIBITION.
DO WE HAVE A, UH, ROSIE NEGRO?
♪♪
ROSIE. THIS IS ONE BIG
FELLOW. WHAT IS HIS NAME?
WELL, I CALL MY LITTLE CHICKEN
"FRESH MEAT." MY NAME IS...
ANGEL!
MY NAME IS JACK PORTER!
MY NAME IS JACK PORTER. OW!
ISN'T THAT VERY CUTE?
NOW, IS YOUR FRIEND GOING TO
DO SOME TRICKS FOR US TONIGHT?
MAYBE HE GONNA LET US GRAB ON THEM
BIG SUCCULENT BREASTS-ES-ES HE GOT!
NO, NO, NO, NO. NO, NO, NO, NO.
ME AND MY PAL FRESH MEAT, WE
PREPARED A LITTLE SKIT FOR Y'ALL.
WHAT? WE HAPPY TO PRESENT A
SKIT CALLED "A FISTFUL OF PUPPET."
OKAY, FRESH MEAT AND ROSIE.
SAY HELLO, FRESH MEAT.
I HAVE A HOUSE IN GLENDALE. I'M
AN INSURANCE SALESMAN. SAY HELLO!
HELLO. ALL RIGHT.
DO YOU KNOW WHY I LIKE YOU
BETTER THAN A REAL DUMMY? WHY?
'CAUSE YOU DON'T
GIVE ME SPLINTERS.
GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME.
I'M NOT YOURS ANYMORE.
OKAY, THAT MEANS YOU GONNA HAVE TO
FINISH THIS ACT WITH BIG HANDS JOHNSON.
NO. LOOK. I'M IN HERE FOR TAX
EVASION. SOMEONE CALL MY LAWYER.
I GOT TO HAVE YOU!
I GOT TO HAVE YOU!
I WANT THEM BREAST-ES-ES. I
WANT THEM BIG BREAST-ES-ES.
HOW DARE YOU? THE GOOD
NEWS FROM THE WARDEN.
WE JUST HAD OUR SHOW
RENEWED FOR ANOTHER TEN YEARS.
YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING. WELL, JOIN US
TOMORROW FOR A COOKING DEMONSTRATION...
WITH JEFFREY DAHMER...
HE LOVES DARK MEAT.
♪♪
♪♪ ♪
UH, YEAH, CHECK IT ♪
♪♪ ♪ I AM, UH, ALL WET ♪
♪ CHECK ME OUT, UH, UH ♪
♪ I'M GONNA CHECK YOU OUT ♪
♪ YOU'RE GONNA CHECK ME OUT ♪
♪ I WANNA FEEL YOU, GET TO
KNOW JUST WHAT YOU'RE ALL ABOUT ♪
♪ WELL ♪
♪ I WANNA CHECK YOU OUT ♪
♪ UH ♪
♪ YOU'RE GONNA CHECK ME OUT ♪
♪ I WANNA FEEL YA, GET TO KNOW
JUST WHAT YOU'RE ALL ABOUT ♪
♪ IN A MATTER OF ABOUT FIVE MINUTES,
ATTENDANCE IS INCREASED IN THE PARTY ♪
♪ ROCK YOUR BODY
FROM NORTH TO THE EAST ♪
♪ LOOKIN' SO
SMOOTH LIKE LUXURY ♪
♪ I'M A PIMP ON THE
INSIDE CHILLIN' IT OUT ♪
♪ NO DOUBT HEADS SPINNIN'
WHEN THE LIGHTS GO OUT ♪♪
OOK HERE. HEY, IT'S A SINGLE
FILE LINE, MAN, I DONE TOLD YOU.
Y'ALL STAY IN LINE, 'CAUSE I AIN'T LETTING
IN NOBODY IN WITH NO SPECIAL PASSES.
I MEAN, NOBODY TODAY. NOBODY.
YOU HEARD ME, NOBODY... NOBODY!
YOU RUNNIN' WITH...
AIN'T NOBODY... HI, GUYS.
OH, YEAH.
W-W-WHEN WE SAY
YES, IT'S HOSTESS. YEAH.
I CAN GO IN? OH, YEAH, YOU
CAN GO IN, BUT CAN I GO IN?
HEY, YOU AIN'T
NOBODY, CAT IN THE HAT!
HEY, MAN, MAYBE YOU
DON'T RECOGNIZE MY VOICE.
I'M COOL PAPA POP. I'M HERE
TO INTRODUCE SALT 'N' PEPA.
WE'RE L.A.'S FUNKIEST
HIP-HOP STATION. WFKNY?
IS THAT RIGHT... WFKNY?
YEAH, YEAH. N-N-N-.
BE THAT AS IT MAY, GUYS. I
GOTTA GET IN TO SEE SALT.
HEY, HEY, HEY. WELL,
BE THAT AS IT MAY, SON...
I GUESS YOU BIG-TIME AND ALL THAT,
HUH? SO I GUESS YOU KNOW EVERYBODY.
WELL, TELL ME THIS... HOW
BIG IS BIG DADDY KANE?
YEAH, W-W-WHERE MONIE AT? MONIE
IN THE MIDDLE. W-W-WHERE'S SHE AT?
IN THE MIDDLE?
LOOK, I GOT NO IDEA WHAT YOU
GUYS ARE TALKING ABOUT. I JUST GOT...
HEY, HEY, HEY! THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT,
MAN, SO YOU NEED TO BACK ON UP...
TO THE BACK OF THE LINE,
UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYIN'?
WAIT LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE OR I'LL
BUST YOU UPSIDE YOUR COLORED HEAD.
HEY, GET OUT OF HERE, GOGGLES.
ALL RIGHT, LOSERS. YOU'RE GONNA
HEAR FROM MY LAWYERS ABOUT THIS.
HEY, HEY, HEY... HEY,
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!
HEY, HOLD UP, REN
AND STIMPY. YEAH.
- WHERE YOU THINK Y'ALL GOING?
- WE'RE FROM THE RECORD COMPANY.
WE GOT CDs AND POSTERS
FOR SALT 'N' PEPA TO SIGN.
ANYWAY, YUL BRYNNER, CHECK THIS OUT. YOU'RE
FROM A RECORD COMPANY... BIG-TIME, HUH?
LIKE ATLANTIC OR VIRGIN OR
SOMETHING LIKE THAT, AM I RIGHT?
THAT'S RIGHT. PLEASE
LET US BY. HEY, HEY, HEY.
LOOK. I TELL YOU WHAT. YOU GET
BACK WITH YOUR EIGHT-TRACK TAPES...
AND YOU GO TO THE BACK OF THE
LINE, LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE. THAT'S RIGHT.
STEVEN SEAGAL. LOOK
LIKE STEVEN SEAGAL.
YEAH, STEVEN. YOU
LOOK LIKE STEVEN SEAGAL.
- NO, I DON'T.
- Y-Y-YES, YOU DO. NOW, G-G-G-GET ON.
- GO ASK STEVEN SEAGAL.
- I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS.
THAT'S RIGHT, BRO. YOU
SEE WHAT I'M SAYING.
OH, MAN! THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS.
HO, HO, HO, HO. HO, HO, HO, HO.
HALLE BERRY FROM INGLEWOOD.
Y-YEAH. C-COFFEE WITH...
WITH A LITTLE CREAM IN IT.
MM-HMM. UH, PLEASE LET
ME BY. I OWN THE STORE.
HEY, HEY, OH, OH, OH. OH, YEAH,
SURE, YEAH SURE, YOU OWN THIS STORE.
BETTY RIGHT SAYS
SHE OWN THE STORE.
UH-UH-UH-UH, YOU HARDLY
O-OWN A DECENT WIG.
WIG LOOK LIKE A MICROPHONE.
I DON'T KNOW WHO HIRED YOU TWO
"IDJITS," BUT ACTION SHALL BE TAKEN.
"IDJITS?" "IDJITS?" WELL,
TAKE ACTION, ACTION JACKSON.
UH-OH. L-L-LOOK.
HOW ABOUT AN AUTOGRAPH?
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY,
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.
H-HOLD ON A MINUTE, WILSON
AND PHILLIPS. YEAH. YEAH, YEAH.
MUST BE A LITTLE N-N-NIPPY
OUTSIDE. TWIN PEAKS.
YO, WE'RE SALT 'N' PEPA, FOOL.
THAT'S RIGHT, AND WE HERE FOR
A PERSONAL APPEARANCE TODAY.
THIS IS 'EM! OH, IS THAT RIGHT?
THESE LADIES SAY
THEY S-SALT 'N' PEPA?
WHO ARE YOU, UH-UH-UM, MRS.
DASH, I GUESS... ♪ MOLLY McBUTTER ♪
NO, I'M SPINDERELLA. READ
THE SIGN. READ IT, BABY.
YEAH, SPINDERELLA. WAIT, WAIT.
JUST A MINUTE. YEAH, YOU SPINDERELLA,
WHERE YOUR GLASS SLIPPER AT?
HE-HE WITH ALL THAT, UM, YOU KNOW, JUST LET
US IN AND WE GIVE YOU A AUTOGRAPH LATER.
- HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!
- WAIT A MINUTE. HOLD ON.
YOU'RE GONNA GO IN AND
BE SIGNING AUTOGRAPHS...
AND TELL PEOPLE HOW THEY CAN MAKE IT
IN THE BUSINESS AND ALL THAT STUFF, HUH?
EXACTLY. SO WOULD YOU ALL PLEASE MOVE OUTTA
OUR WAY SO WE CAN GO ABOUT OUR BUSINESS?
- HEY, HEY, HEY.
- MR. WANNA-BE-THE-MAN, WE
ARE SALT 'N' PEPA, OKAY?
ALL RIGHT, WELL, IF YOU SALT
'N' PEPA, I-I'M PUBLIC ENEMY.
♪ BRING DA NOISE ♪
♪ FIGHT THE POWER ♪
IF YOU DON'T GET OUT MY WAY, YOU
GONNA HAVE SOME ENEMIES OUT HERE, NOW.
HEY, HEY, HEY! OKAY, SO
YOU WANT TO GO THERE.
YOU WANNA GO THERE, HUH?
YOU WANTED ME TO GO THERE.
N-NEXT STEP,
LINGERIE AND ASPIRIN.
- - OKAY, OKAY. ALL
RIGHT. TIME OUT. TIME OUT.
SOMEONE'S GONNA PUT
AN EYE OUT OUT HERE.
NOW, AH, IS THERE SOME KIND OF
A PROBLEM, MISS SALT, MISS PEPA?
- THEY WON'T LET US...
- OH, TH-THERE'S YOUR PROBLEM, RIGHT HERE.
YOU SEE, THERE AIN'T REALLY A PROBLEM. WHAT
I WAS JUST TRYING TO DO WAS GET THEM IN,
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,
THEY GOT THE SIGNS.
WELL, NEXT TIME, TRY TO BE
A LITTLE MORE COURTEOUS.
THAT'S RIGHT, BABY. GIRL, HE
PROBABLY CAN'T EVEN SPELL THE WORD.
MM-HMM.
OUTTA THE WAY. I SAY, ALL RIGHT, GET
YOURSELF A DICTIONARY SO YOU CAN SPELL.
GET A FUNK & WAG...
A FUNKY... A WAG.
HEY MAN, WHAT ARE YOU
DOIN'? HER PERM DIDN'T TAKE.
LET'S GO ON BACK
TO THE OLD SCHOOL.
YEAH, LET'S GO BACK
TO THE OLD SCHOOL.
LADIES AND GENTLEMAN,
EASTWEST RECORDING ARTISTS...
TO BE CONTINUED COMING AT
YOU HARD WITH "ONE ON ONE."
HIT ME, CHILD.
♪ IN LIVING COLOR
STAND UP, Y'ALL... YO ♪
♪ AIN'T NO PARTY LIKE A LIVING COLOR PARTY
'CAUSE A LIVING COLOR PARTY DON'T STOP ♪
♪ THERE YOU GO ♪ ♪ AIN'T NO
PARTY LIKE A LIVING COLOR PARTY ♪
♪ 'CAUSE A LIVING COLOR
PARTY DON'T STOP ♪
♪ MAMA ALWAYS TOLD ME NOT
TO LET MYSELF GET CAUGHT ♪
♪ DON'T WANT TO SEE ME
ALONE AND TURNED OUT ♪
♪ LIVIN' DANGEROUS HAVE
TO PROVE SOME FLEX ♪
♪ FLUSH YOURSELF
INTO A LONESOME LIFE ♪
♪ RESPECT YOURSELF, BECAUSE THERE'S
NO ONE ELSE WHO'LL RESPECT YOU ♪
♪ AND IF YOU DON'T
THEN THEY WON'T ♪
♪ YOU GET PUT INTO A MOLD
AND LABELED A "LOOSEY" ♪
♪ AND I'M NO HOOCHIE
I'M ALL ABOUT ME ♪
♪ LIVING MY LIFE RIGHT
LIFE IS A TREASURE ♪
♪ THERE'S PEER
PRESSURE I GOTS TO BE ME ♪
♪ CAN'T BE THE REST OF 'EM GROW A SHOULDER,
I COULD FLOW WITH THE REST OF 'EM ♪
♪ NEVER TRY TO BE SHADY, A LADY
MONEY GOES AND CAUSES JUST DUMB DAYS ♪
♪ I'M NOT LOOKIN' TO BE WED BEFORE I COMMIT
I'LL ESTABLISH A ONE ON ONE WITH MYSELF ♪
♪ ONE ON ONE, BABY, B-BABY ♪
♪ WE ARE TO BE AS ONE ♪
♪ ONE TO ONE ♪ ♪ IT'S
NOT HARD TO RELATE TO ♪
♪ WE'RE OPEN, NEVER HARD ♪
♪ BACK IN THE DAY WHEN
I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL ♪
♪ TIME WAS SMART AND
MY MIND WAS A TOOL ♪
♪ ALL WORK AND
NO PLAY SAID JACK ♪
♪ APPLY YOURSELF,
SAID DAD BUT GET BACK ♪
♪ HUH, I HAD TO HANG WITH
THE GIRLS IN THE MALL ♪
♪ PARTIES ALL NIGHT
WELL, YES, THAT'S ALL ♪
♪ HOMEWORK CAME EASY TO ME AFTER
CRAMMIN' ALL NIGHT IN SCHOOL I WAS SLEEPY ♪
♪ THE BEGINNING OF LIFE'S
POP QUIZ IN THE REAL WORLD ♪
♪ THE SCHOOL WAS
PREPARIN' ME FOR UNFURL ♪
♪ UNTIL SENIOR YEAR
ROLLED UP AND EVERYTHING
BUT MY GRADES IS
READY TO MOVE UP ♪
♪ NOW, I THOUGHT ABOUT LIFE AND GOIN'
ON, SUDDENLY HANGIN' WITH GIRLS IS NO GO ♪
♪ I STARTED GETTIN' TO CLASSES ON TIME,
AND DOIN' HOMEWORK LIKE I'M USIN' MY MIND ♪
♪ NOW I FOUND ♪
♪ ONE BY ONE ♪
♪ WE CAN MAKE IT, B-BABY ♪♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪
♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪
- ♪ TAKE IT FROM ME
IT'S A'IGHT TO BE ♪
- HI-YAH!
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ AND HOW WOULD YA... HOW
WOULD YA... HOW WOULD YA F... ♪
♪ HOW WOULD YOU FEEL KNOWING
PREJUDICE WAS OBSOLETE ♪
♪ AND ALL MANKIND
DANCED TO THE EXACT BEAT ♪
♪ AND AT NIGHT IT WAS SAFE
TO WALK DOWN THE STREET ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪♪
ALL RIGHT, CLASS.
CLASS! STOP IT!
TAKE YOUR SEATS.
TAKE YOUR SEATS!
I DON'T WANT TO SEE ANY
OF YOU AFTER SCHOOL. GOOD.
NOW, CLASS, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A
NEW STUDENT JOIN OUR CLASS TODAY.
HE'S A LITTLE BIT OLDER
THAN THE REST OF US...
BUT HE WANTS TO FINISH
HIS EDUCATION, OKAY?
UM... WHERE IS HE?
YEAH, WHERE IS HE?
UH, HA-HA... CARL WILLIAMS?
YOU CAN CALL ME THE TOOTH,
'CAUSE ALL MY FRIENDS CALL ME THAT.
UH...
- 'CAUSE YOU HAVE ONE TOOTH?
- WELL, YOU KNOW, I NEVER
REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT.
BUT I DO HAVE ONE TOOTH.
UH, I HAVE BROUGHT YOU
THE TRADITIONAL APPLE.
OH, WELL, THANK YOU!
AIN'T NO THING. IT'S GOT...
IT-IT... IT HAS A TOOTH BITE IN IT.
YEAH, WELL SEE, IT'S ALL GOOD.
SEE, I GOT HUNGRY WAITING ON THAT...
ON THAT BIG GREEN SCHOOL
BUS THAT COME PICK US UP, MAN.
BIG GREEN? THAT SOUNDS
LIKE A-A GARBAGE TRUCK.
HEY, NO WONDER THEY HAD ME
HANGING OFF THE BACK OF THAT THING.
YOU KNOW, I WAS THINKING,
IT SURE WAS STINKING.
YEAH, WELL, WHAT'S UP?
YEAH! BRING IT ON. LET'S BOX.
YOU AIN'T GOT NOTHING.
YOU AIN'T GOT NOTHING.
UH, UH, TOOTHY.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YEAH, YEAH. I'M TRYIN' TO
GET UP IN HIS HEAD. WHASSUP?
HUH? WHASSUP? UH, MR. WILLIAMS?
MR. WILLIAMS.
MR. WILLIAMS, PLEASE...
DON'T THROW IN THE TOWEL,
TEACHER. I'M TELLING YOU,
I COULD TAKE HIM. HE AIN'T
NOTHIN' BUT SKIN AND BONES.
MR. WILLIAMS, SINCE YOU'RE NEW, HOW
WOULD YOU LIKE TO LEAD THE CLASS...
IN THE PLEDGE OF
ALLEGIANCE? OH, IT'S ALL GOOD.
I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO...
THE UNITED STATES OF A-AMERA...
AMERICA. YEAH, BASICALLY.
AND UH, TO THE REPUBLIC
FOR A STANDING EIGHT COUNT...
AND AFTER THAT, YOU SHOULD GO INTO
YOUR NEUTRAL CORNERS UNTIL I CALL FOR YOU.
NO BLOWS BELOW THE BELT AND
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT.
ANYTHING YOU SAY CAN
AND WILL BE USED AGAINST
YOU, AND LET'S ALL
STAND FOR JUDGE WAPNER.
NICE TRY, CARL. WOULD
YOU PLEASE SIT DOWN? AMEN.
UM...
NOW, THE SUBJECT FOR TODAY IS
THE HUMAN ANATOMY, ALL RIGHT?
NOW, WHO WOULD
LIKE TO TELL ME...
HOW MANY BONES ARE
FOUND IN THE HUMAN BODY?
YES? YOU KNOW, I KNOW I'M
OUT OF PLACE AND I DON'T MEAN...
TO STEP IN FRONT OF THE
WHITE GIRL, BUT I WOULD LIKE...
I WOULD LIKE TO ANSWER THE
QUESTION, AND I BELIEVE IT IS 733?
NO.
- NO. THAT'S WAY TOO MANY BONES.
- WELL, YOU SHOULDA SEEN
THE X-RAYS...
- AFTER I HAD
THE HOLYFIELD FIGHT.
- YOU FOUGHT EVANDER HOLYFIELD?
YES I DID. I WAS IN THE CHEAP SEATS
AND I WAS GOING, YOU KNOW, TO MY SEAT...
TRYIN' TO GET BY SOMEBODY?
AND I SLIPPED AND FELL...
'CAUSE I WAS TRYIN' TO CATCH MY PEANUTS,
'CAUSE THEM PEANUTS, THEY WAS GOOD...
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? I SEE.
YES. ALL RIGHT, LET'S MOVE
ON TO OUR LAB SUBJECT.
WAIT, NOW TODAY, WE'RE
GOING TO DISSECT THIS FROG...
TO SEE WHAT THE
INTERNAL MAKEUP IS.
- WHO WOULD LIKE TO VOLUNTEER?
- YOU KNOW, I MAY BE
OUT OF LINE...
AH, NO! BUT I DON'T WANT TO GET
AHEAD OF ANYBODY ELSE, BUT...
WELL, WELL... BUT I WOULD
LOVE TO SEE THE FROG.
CARL, OF COURSE.
COME ON, NOW, YOU SEE...
OH, EXCUSE ME.
ALL RIGHT, BOYS, BOYS. ALL
RIGHT. YOU BETTER CHILL OUT, JACK.
ALL RIGHT, BOYS. TEVIN CAMPBELL.
ALL RIGHT. WHAT WE NEED TO DO...
ARE WE READY? YEAH.
OKAY. WHAT WE NEED TO DO...
IS CAREFULLY OPEN UP THE FROG'S
THORACIC CAVITY WITH THE SCALPEL.
YEAH. NOW, DO YOU KNOW
WHAT A THORACIC CAVITY IS?
WELL, BASICALLY, I HAVE HAD
A LOT OF CAVITIES AND, UH...
WHICH HAS LEFT ME
THE WAY I AM. UH-HUH.
SO I DON'T NEED NO
INSTRUMENT, YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE
ALL I NEED IS THESE
GLOVES TO OPEN 'EM UP...
'CAUSE I... THESE ARE PRECISE,
YOU KNOW, THESE ARE...
PRECISE INSTRUMENTS, YOU
KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? MM-HMM.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? OH!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YOU'VE RUINED THE SPECIMEN.
OH, YOU NEED A SPECIMEN?
WELL, LET ME RUN TO
THE BATHROOM REAL
QUICK AND I'LL HAVE YOU...
MR. WILLIAMS, I DON'T WANT TO
HAVE TO SEE YOU AFTER SCHOOL!
OH. YOU DON'T OR YOU DO? 'CAUSE, YOU KNOW,
IT SOUNDED LIKE, YOU KNOW, I'M TRYIN' TO,
YOU KNOW, GET MY LITTLE THING
GOIN'... I'M IN TRAINING RIGHT NOW,
SO I GOTTA SAVE ALL
MY FLUIDS, YOU KNOW,
BUT I'LL MAKE A EXCEPTION WITH
YOU, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
HEY, GIRL! YO, YOU KNOW,
YOU WAS RIGHT, MICK.
WOMEN DO SAP YOUR
ENERGY, MAN. I'M CRAZY.
FINE. CLASS DISMISSED. GET OF HERE. I
DON'T WANT TO SEE ANY OF YOU ANYMORE.
♪♪
♪♪
FREEZE! GET DOWN.
♪♪
FROM CELL BLOCK 9, PRISON
CABLE NETWORK PRESENTS:
LIGHTS OUT WITH ANGEL MARTINEZ.
FEATURING TINY AND THE
LETHAL INJECTION ORCHESTRA,
AND ME... CHARLIE MAGIC.
NOW, A MAN WHO HASN'T LOST
HIS APPEAL, HE JUST LIKES IT HERE...
ANGEL...
MARTINEZ!
HI-HI!
YEAH, I MEAN, IT WAS VERY COLD
LAST NIGHT IN MY CELL BLOCK.
- HOW COLD WAS IT?
- IT WAS SO COLD LAST NIGHT...
I HAD TO SET THREE GUARDS ON
FIRE JUST TO KEEP MY FEET WARM.
♪♪
NOW, LET'S WELCOME
TINY AND HIS BAND.
TINY, YOU ARE LOOKING
SO GOOD TONIGHT, MAN.
ESPECIALLY SINCE I'M MISSING
MY CONJUGAL MONTHLY VISITS.
UH, THANK YOU. IT'S NICE TO BE
HERE ONCE AGAIN WITH YOU, ANGEL.
NOW, I WOULD LIKE TO INTRODUCE
THE BAND. THIS ALL THEM.
NOW IT'S TIME TO BRING
OUT OUR FIRST GUEST.
HE'S THE MOST POPULAR INMATE WE HAVE
HERE, PETEY JOHNSON. COME ON OUT, PETEY.
♪♪
DON'T TRY TO GET IN
MY CIRCLE, MAN. OKAY.
UNLESS YOU'RE
PART OF THE FAMILY.
SOMETIMES CHARLIE GETS
VERY, VERY EMOTIONAL. PETEY,
WHY DON'T YOU TELL US ABOUT... WELL, WE
ALREADY KNOW ABOUT YOUR LITTLE SECRET,
BUT WHY DON'T YOU TELL
EVERYBODY ABOUT IT?
WELL, I RECENTLY
HAD A SEX CHANGE.
THANK YOU.
MAD DOG, DOWN AT THE LAUNDRY
ROOM, DID IT WITH A FEW, UH,
STEAM PRESSES AND SOME
TOOLS HE STOLE FROM WOODSHED.
I GAVE CHARLIE THE LEFTOVERS.
NOW, LET ME ASK YOU ONE QUESTION. WHY DID
YOU GET THE OPERATION IN THE FIRST PLACE?
I'VE ALWAYS FELT LIKE A
WOMAN STUCK IN A MAN'S BODY.
AY, USUALLY AROUND HERE,
IT'S A MAN IN A MAN'S BODY.
BY THE WAY, HOW MUCH DID
THAT OPERATION COST YOU?
LISTEN, ANGEL, THIS OPERATION
SET ME BACK 8,000 CIGARETTES.
LOOK, I WOULDN'T EVEN WORRY
ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
LOOK LIKE YOU BETTER GO ON BACK AND
GIT YOU SOME BIGGER BREASTS. OH, MY GOD!
TINY! TINY, OH MAN, YOU
SCARED AWAY THE GUEST, MAN.
I'M SORRY. GET OUTTA HERE, MAN.
WELL, I GUESS THAT MEANS IT'S
TIME FOR STUPID PUNK TRICKS.
NOW REMEMBER, THIS
IS NOT A COMPETITION.
THIS IS MERELY AN EXHIBITION.
DO WE HAVE A, UH, ROSIE NEGRO?
♪♪
ROSIE. THIS IS ONE BIG
FELLOW. WHAT IS HIS NAME?
WELL, I CALL MY LITTLE CHICKEN
"FRESH MEAT." MY NAME IS...
ANGEL!
MY NAME IS JACK PORTER!
MY NAME IS JACK PORTER. OW!
ISN'T THAT VERY CUTE?
NOW, IS YOUR FRIEND GOING TO
DO SOME TRICKS FOR US TONIGHT?
MAYBE HE GONNA LET US GRAB ON THEM
BIG SUCCULENT BREASTS-ES-ES HE GOT!
NO, NO, NO, NO. NO, NO, NO, NO.
ME AND MY PAL FRESH MEAT, WE
PREPARED A LITTLE SKIT FOR Y'ALL.
WHAT? WE HAPPY TO PRESENT A
SKIT CALLED "A FISTFUL OF PUPPET."
OKAY, FRESH MEAT AND ROSIE.
SAY HELLO, FRESH MEAT.
I HAVE A HOUSE IN GLENDALE. I'M
AN INSURANCE SALESMAN. SAY HELLO!
HELLO. ALL RIGHT.
DO YOU KNOW WHY I LIKE YOU
BETTER THAN A REAL DUMMY? WHY?
'CAUSE YOU DON'T
GIVE ME SPLINTERS.
GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME.
I'M NOT YOURS ANYMORE.
OKAY, THAT MEANS YOU GONNA HAVE TO
FINISH THIS ACT WITH BIG HANDS JOHNSON.
NO. LOOK. I'M IN HERE FOR TAX
EVASION. SOMEONE CALL MY LAWYER.
I GOT TO HAVE YOU!
I GOT TO HAVE YOU!
I WANT THEM BREAST-ES-ES. I
WANT THEM BIG BREAST-ES-ES.
HOW DARE YOU? THE GOOD
NEWS FROM THE WARDEN.
WE JUST HAD OUR SHOW
RENEWED FOR ANOTHER TEN YEARS.
YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING. WELL, JOIN US
TOMORROW FOR A COOKING DEMONSTRATION...
WITH JEFFREY DAHMER...
HE LOVES DARK MEAT.
♪♪
♪♪ ♪
UH, YEAH, CHECK IT ♪
♪♪ ♪ I AM, UH, ALL WET ♪
♪ CHECK ME OUT, UH, UH ♪
♪ I'M GONNA CHECK YOU OUT ♪
♪ YOU'RE GONNA CHECK ME OUT ♪
♪ I WANNA FEEL YOU, GET TO
KNOW JUST WHAT YOU'RE ALL ABOUT ♪
♪ WELL ♪
♪ I WANNA CHECK YOU OUT ♪
♪ UH ♪
♪ YOU'RE GONNA CHECK ME OUT ♪
♪ I WANNA FEEL YA, GET TO KNOW
JUST WHAT YOU'RE ALL ABOUT ♪
♪ IN A MATTER OF ABOUT FIVE MINUTES,
ATTENDANCE IS INCREASED IN THE PARTY ♪
♪ ROCK YOUR BODY
FROM NORTH TO THE EAST ♪
♪ LOOKIN' SO
SMOOTH LIKE LUXURY ♪
♪ I'M A PIMP ON THE
INSIDE CHILLIN' IT OUT ♪
♪ NO DOUBT HEADS SPINNIN'
WHEN THE LIGHTS GO OUT ♪♪
OOK HERE. HEY, IT'S A SINGLE
FILE LINE, MAN, I DONE TOLD YOU.
Y'ALL STAY IN LINE, 'CAUSE I AIN'T LETTING
IN NOBODY IN WITH NO SPECIAL PASSES.
I MEAN, NOBODY TODAY. NOBODY.
YOU HEARD ME, NOBODY... NOBODY!
YOU RUNNIN' WITH...
AIN'T NOBODY... HI, GUYS.
OH, YEAH.
W-W-WHEN WE SAY
YES, IT'S HOSTESS. YEAH.
I CAN GO IN? OH, YEAH, YOU
CAN GO IN, BUT CAN I GO IN?
HEY, YOU AIN'T
NOBODY, CAT IN THE HAT!
HEY, MAN, MAYBE YOU
DON'T RECOGNIZE MY VOICE.
I'M COOL PAPA POP. I'M HERE
TO INTRODUCE SALT 'N' PEPA.
WE'RE L.A.'S FUNKIEST
HIP-HOP STATION. WFKNY?
IS THAT RIGHT... WFKNY?
YEAH, YEAH. N-N-N-.
BE THAT AS IT MAY, GUYS. I
GOTTA GET IN TO SEE SALT.
HEY, HEY, HEY. WELL,
BE THAT AS IT MAY, SON...
I GUESS YOU BIG-TIME AND ALL THAT,
HUH? SO I GUESS YOU KNOW EVERYBODY.
WELL, TELL ME THIS... HOW
BIG IS BIG DADDY KANE?
YEAH, W-W-WHERE MONIE AT? MONIE
IN THE MIDDLE. W-W-WHERE'S SHE AT?
IN THE MIDDLE?
LOOK, I GOT NO IDEA WHAT YOU
GUYS ARE TALKING ABOUT. I JUST GOT...
HEY, HEY, HEY! THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT,
MAN, SO YOU NEED TO BACK ON UP...
TO THE BACK OF THE LINE,
UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYIN'?
WAIT LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE OR I'LL
BUST YOU UPSIDE YOUR COLORED HEAD.
HEY, GET OUT OF HERE, GOGGLES.
ALL RIGHT, LOSERS. YOU'RE GONNA
HEAR FROM MY LAWYERS ABOUT THIS.
HEY, HEY, HEY... HEY,
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!
HEY, HOLD UP, REN
AND STIMPY. YEAH.
- WHERE YOU THINK Y'ALL GOING?
- WE'RE FROM THE RECORD COMPANY.
WE GOT CDs AND POSTERS
FOR SALT 'N' PEPA TO SIGN.
ANYWAY, YUL BRYNNER, CHECK THIS OUT. YOU'RE
FROM A RECORD COMPANY... BIG-TIME, HUH?
LIKE ATLANTIC OR VIRGIN OR
SOMETHING LIKE THAT, AM I RIGHT?
THAT'S RIGHT. PLEASE
LET US BY. HEY, HEY, HEY.
LOOK. I TELL YOU WHAT. YOU GET
BACK WITH YOUR EIGHT-TRACK TAPES...
AND YOU GO TO THE BACK OF THE
LINE, LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE. THAT'S RIGHT.
STEVEN SEAGAL. LOOK
LIKE STEVEN SEAGAL.
YEAH, STEVEN. YOU
LOOK LIKE STEVEN SEAGAL.
- NO, I DON'T.
- Y-Y-YES, YOU DO. NOW, G-G-G-GET ON.
- GO ASK STEVEN SEAGAL.
- I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS.
THAT'S RIGHT, BRO. YOU
SEE WHAT I'M SAYING.
OH, MAN! THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS.
HO, HO, HO, HO. HO, HO, HO, HO.
HALLE BERRY FROM INGLEWOOD.
Y-YEAH. C-COFFEE WITH...
WITH A LITTLE CREAM IN IT.
MM-HMM. UH, PLEASE LET
ME BY. I OWN THE STORE.
HEY, HEY, OH, OH, OH. OH, YEAH,
SURE, YEAH SURE, YOU OWN THIS STORE.
BETTY RIGHT SAYS
SHE OWN THE STORE.
UH-UH-UH-UH, YOU HARDLY
O-OWN A DECENT WIG.
WIG LOOK LIKE A MICROPHONE.
I DON'T KNOW WHO HIRED YOU TWO
"IDJITS," BUT ACTION SHALL BE TAKEN.
"IDJITS?" "IDJITS?" WELL,
TAKE ACTION, ACTION JACKSON.
UH-OH. L-L-LOOK.
HOW ABOUT AN AUTOGRAPH?
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY,
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.
H-HOLD ON A MINUTE, WILSON
AND PHILLIPS. YEAH. YEAH, YEAH.
MUST BE A LITTLE N-N-NIPPY
OUTSIDE. TWIN PEAKS.
YO, WE'RE SALT 'N' PEPA, FOOL.
THAT'S RIGHT, AND WE HERE FOR
A PERSONAL APPEARANCE TODAY.
THIS IS 'EM! OH, IS THAT RIGHT?
THESE LADIES SAY
THEY S-SALT 'N' PEPA?
WHO ARE YOU, UH-UH-UM, MRS.
DASH, I GUESS... ♪ MOLLY McBUTTER ♪
NO, I'M SPINDERELLA. READ
THE SIGN. READ IT, BABY.
YEAH, SPINDERELLA. WAIT, WAIT.
JUST A MINUTE. YEAH, YOU SPINDERELLA,
WHERE YOUR GLASS SLIPPER AT?
HE-HE WITH ALL THAT, UM, YOU KNOW, JUST LET
US IN AND WE GIVE YOU A AUTOGRAPH LATER.
- HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!
- WAIT A MINUTE. HOLD ON.
YOU'RE GONNA GO IN AND
BE SIGNING AUTOGRAPHS...
AND TELL PEOPLE HOW THEY CAN MAKE IT
IN THE BUSINESS AND ALL THAT STUFF, HUH?
EXACTLY. SO WOULD YOU ALL PLEASE MOVE OUTTA
OUR WAY SO WE CAN GO ABOUT OUR BUSINESS?
- HEY, HEY, HEY.
- MR. WANNA-BE-THE-MAN, WE
ARE SALT 'N' PEPA, OKAY?
ALL RIGHT, WELL, IF YOU SALT
'N' PEPA, I-I'M PUBLIC ENEMY.
♪ BRING DA NOISE ♪
♪ FIGHT THE POWER ♪
IF YOU DON'T GET OUT MY WAY, YOU
GONNA HAVE SOME ENEMIES OUT HERE, NOW.
HEY, HEY, HEY! OKAY, SO
YOU WANT TO GO THERE.
YOU WANNA GO THERE, HUH?
YOU WANTED ME TO GO THERE.
N-NEXT STEP,
LINGERIE AND ASPIRIN.
- - OKAY, OKAY. ALL
RIGHT. TIME OUT. TIME OUT.
SOMEONE'S GONNA PUT
AN EYE OUT OUT HERE.
NOW, AH, IS THERE SOME KIND OF
A PROBLEM, MISS SALT, MISS PEPA?
- THEY WON'T LET US...
- OH, TH-THERE'S YOUR PROBLEM, RIGHT HERE.
YOU SEE, THERE AIN'T REALLY A PROBLEM. WHAT
I WAS JUST TRYING TO DO WAS GET THEM IN,
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,
THEY GOT THE SIGNS.
WELL, NEXT TIME, TRY TO BE
A LITTLE MORE COURTEOUS.
THAT'S RIGHT, BABY. GIRL, HE
PROBABLY CAN'T EVEN SPELL THE WORD.
MM-HMM.
OUTTA THE WAY. I SAY, ALL RIGHT, GET
YOURSELF A DICTIONARY SO YOU CAN SPELL.
GET A FUNK & WAG...
A FUNKY... A WAG.
HEY MAN, WHAT ARE YOU
DOIN'? HER PERM DIDN'T TAKE.
LET'S GO ON BACK
TO THE OLD SCHOOL.
YEAH, LET'S GO BACK
TO THE OLD SCHOOL.
LADIES AND GENTLEMAN,
EASTWEST RECORDING ARTISTS...
TO BE CONTINUED COMING AT
YOU HARD WITH "ONE ON ONE."
HIT ME, CHILD.
♪ IN LIVING COLOR
STAND UP, Y'ALL... YO ♪
♪ AIN'T NO PARTY LIKE A LIVING COLOR PARTY
'CAUSE A LIVING COLOR PARTY DON'T STOP ♪
♪ THERE YOU GO ♪ ♪ AIN'T NO
PARTY LIKE A LIVING COLOR PARTY ♪
♪ 'CAUSE A LIVING COLOR
PARTY DON'T STOP ♪
♪ MAMA ALWAYS TOLD ME NOT
TO LET MYSELF GET CAUGHT ♪
♪ DON'T WANT TO SEE ME
ALONE AND TURNED OUT ♪
♪ LIVIN' DANGEROUS HAVE
TO PROVE SOME FLEX ♪
♪ FLUSH YOURSELF
INTO A LONESOME LIFE ♪
♪ RESPECT YOURSELF, BECAUSE THERE'S
NO ONE ELSE WHO'LL RESPECT YOU ♪
♪ AND IF YOU DON'T
THEN THEY WON'T ♪
♪ YOU GET PUT INTO A MOLD
AND LABELED A "LOOSEY" ♪
♪ AND I'M NO HOOCHIE
I'M ALL ABOUT ME ♪
♪ LIVING MY LIFE RIGHT
LIFE IS A TREASURE ♪
♪ THERE'S PEER
PRESSURE I GOTS TO BE ME ♪
♪ CAN'T BE THE REST OF 'EM GROW A SHOULDER,
I COULD FLOW WITH THE REST OF 'EM ♪
♪ NEVER TRY TO BE SHADY, A LADY
MONEY GOES AND CAUSES JUST DUMB DAYS ♪
♪ I'M NOT LOOKIN' TO BE WED BEFORE I COMMIT
I'LL ESTABLISH A ONE ON ONE WITH MYSELF ♪
♪ ONE ON ONE, BABY, B-BABY ♪
♪ WE ARE TO BE AS ONE ♪
♪ ONE TO ONE ♪ ♪ IT'S
NOT HARD TO RELATE TO ♪
♪ WE'RE OPEN, NEVER HARD ♪
♪ BACK IN THE DAY WHEN
I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL ♪
♪ TIME WAS SMART AND
MY MIND WAS A TOOL ♪
♪ ALL WORK AND
NO PLAY SAID JACK ♪
♪ APPLY YOURSELF,
SAID DAD BUT GET BACK ♪
♪ HUH, I HAD TO HANG WITH
THE GIRLS IN THE MALL ♪
♪ PARTIES ALL NIGHT
WELL, YES, THAT'S ALL ♪
♪ HOMEWORK CAME EASY TO ME AFTER
CRAMMIN' ALL NIGHT IN SCHOOL I WAS SLEEPY ♪
♪ THE BEGINNING OF LIFE'S
POP QUIZ IN THE REAL WORLD ♪
♪ THE SCHOOL WAS
PREPARIN' ME FOR UNFURL ♪
♪ UNTIL SENIOR YEAR
ROLLED UP AND EVERYTHING
BUT MY GRADES IS
READY TO MOVE UP ♪
♪ NOW, I THOUGHT ABOUT LIFE AND GOIN'
ON, SUDDENLY HANGIN' WITH GIRLS IS NO GO ♪
♪ I STARTED GETTIN' TO CLASSES ON TIME,
AND DOIN' HOMEWORK LIKE I'M USIN' MY MIND ♪
♪ NOW I FOUND ♪
♪ ONE BY ONE ♪
♪ WE CAN MAKE IT, B-BABY ♪♪