In Living Color (1990–1994): Season 5, Episode 22 - Sweet Tooth Jones - full transcript
The Wayans siblings present an African-American focused sketch comedy show.
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪
♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪
- ♪ TAKE IT FROM ME
IT'S A'IGHT TO BE ♪
- HI-YAH!
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ AND HOW WOULD YA... HOW
WOULD YA... HOW WOULD YA F... ♪
♪ HOW WOULD YOU FEEL KNOWING
PREJUDICE WAS OBSOLETE ♪
♪ AND ALL MANKIND
DANCED TO THE EXACT BEAT ♪
♪ AND AT NIGHT IT WAS SAFE
TO WALK DOWN THE STREET ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪♪
♪♪
HURRY UP, UNCLE PETE.
OKAY, HERE WE ARE,
BOY. HERE WE ARE.
DON'T IT LOOK NICE?
YEAH, WELL, LET'S RIDE
SOME RIDES. RIDES?
YOU AIN'T SAYIN' NOTHIN'
ABOUT GETTING ON NO RIDES.
YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO GO TO
THE CARNIVAL AND HERE WE ARE.
WELL, YOU AIN'T RIDIN' A DAMN
THING. NOW LOOK AT IT. NOW LET'S GO.
I WANT TO RIDE
THE CARNIVAL RIDES.
OKAY, YOU CAN GET
ON THE CARNIVAL RIDES.
COME ON, LET'S GO
OVER TO THE TICKET MAN.
WELCOME TO TWO
FLAGS OVER COMPTON.
OKAY, HOW YOU
DOIN', MR. TWO FLAGS?
UH, UH, LET ME JUST
ASK YOU A QUESTION.
HOW MUCH IT COST TO GET ON THE
ROLLER COASTER? THAT'S ABOUT FOUR BUCKS.
FOUR BUCKS TO GET ON A ROLLER
COASTER? GOOD LORD! THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY.
HOW ABOUT I GIVE YOU 88 CENTS
AND YOU LET ME SCREAM IN YOUR EAR?
I DON'T THINK SO.
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
HOW MUCH... LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING...
HOW MUCH... LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING...
HOW MUCH WOULD IT COST
TO GET ON THE BUMPER CARS?
THREE DOLLARS,
$3.00, $3.00. $3...
- NOW HOW MUCH IT COST
IF I DON'T BUMP NOBODY?
- STILL $3.00.
GOOD LORD! THAT'S
A LOT OF MONEY.
HOW ABOUT A GIVE YOU 97 CENTS AND
YOU LET ME CRASH MY PINTO INTO YOU?
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. HOW MUCH IT
COST TO GET IN THE HAUNTED HOUSE?
- THAT'S ABOUT $6.00.
- I'M SCARED OF $6.00.
SIX DOLLARS? OKAY, HOW ABOUT I GIVE
YOU 10 CENTS AND YOU JUST SCREAM "BOO"?
BOY, I WISH YOU'D JUST LEAVE.
GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.
UNCLE PETE, I'D RATHER
RIDE THE FERRIS WHEEL.
OKAY, OKAY. HOLD YOUR HORSES,
BOY. ALL RIGHT? ALL RIGHT?
UH, HOW MUCH IT COST TO GET ON
THE FERRIS WHEEL? THAT'S ABOUT $2.00.
TWO DOLLARS? GOOD LORD!
HOW ABOUT I GIVE YOU 20 CENTS AND
YOU LET US SPIN AROUND TILL WE VOMIT?
BOY, IF YOU DON'T
GET OUT OF HERE...
COTTON! COTTON CANDY! PEANUTS!
UNCLE PETE, I WANT
SOME COTTON CANDY.
OKAY, OKAY. YOU'LL GET
SOME COTTON CANDY.
HOW MUCH FOR THE COTTON
CANDY? COTTON CANDY, $1.00.
ONE DOLLAR FOR COTTON CANDY?
GOOD LORD! THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY.
NOW WHY SHOULD I PAY THAT MUCH
MONEY FOR A SUGAR-COATED AFRO?
I WANT SOME ROASTED PEANUTS.
BOY, YOU WANT EVERYTHING. HOW MUCH
IT COST FOR SOME ROASTED PEANUTS?
ONE BUCK, 50. A BUCK-50? HOW
MUCH IT COST FOR UNROASTED?
A BUCK, 50. NOW HOW THEY GONNA
QUOTE THE SAME AMOUNT OF MONEY...
WHEN ONE DON'T
GOT NO ROAST ON IT?
UNCLE PETE, CAN I
PLEASE HAVE A BALLOON?
OKAY, YOU CAN
PLEASE HAVE A BALLOON.
HOW MUCH... LET ME
ASK YOU A QUESTION. LET
ME ASK YOU, HOW MUCH
IT COST FOR A BALLOON?
TWO DOLLARS. TWO DOLLARS?
NOW WHY SHOULD I SPEND $2.00
ON SOMETHING I ALREADY HAVE?
BOY, HERE'S YOUR BALLOON.
NOW BLOW IT UP. HEY...
UNCLE PETE, WHAT
DOES "CONDOM" MEAN?
CONDOM MEANS GIVE IT
BACK WHEN YOU'RE DONE.
HEY, I DIDN'T KNOW LUTHER
CAMPBELL WAS IN TOWN. ALL RIGHT.
LOOK AT ALL THOSE GAMES! I
WANT TO DO THE SHOOTING GALLERY.
GOOD LORD! AND THE RING TOSS.
GOOD LORD! AND
THE DART THROWING.
GOOD LORD! DON'T YOU
LIKE TAG? TAG, YOU'RE IT.
NO, I'M NOT. I WANT TO HAVE FUN.
OKAY, I'LL SHOW YOU SOME FUN.
COME ON. LET'S GO SEE THE FREAK SHOW.
STEP RIGHT UP! STEP RIGHT
UP! SEE THE BEARDED LADY!
SEE COCO, THE HUMAN BOWEL!
SEE LULU, THE 600-POUND WOMAN!
- HEY, EXCUSE ME. HOW MUCH
IT COST TO SEE THE FAT LADY?
- UH, $2.00.
TWO DOLLARS FOR A FAT LADY?
OPRAH COME ON EVERY DAY FOR FREE.
OKAY. HOW ABOUT I GIVE YOU 30 CENTS
AND YOU SHOW ME A RERUN OF THEA?
THIS IS BORING. I'M GONNA
RIDE ON THE FERRIS WHEEL.
WHERE YOU GOIN', BOY? YOU
BETTER GET... YOU BETTER GET...
NOW, WHERE YOU GET
SOME MONEY FROM?
MAMA GAVE ME $10. TEN DOLLARS?
GOOD LORD! THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY.
WHY DON'T YOU LEND YOUR UNCLE
PETE $2.00 SO I CAN GET SOME POPCORN?
TWO DOLLARS? GOOD
LORD! THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY.
HOW ABOUT I GIVE 40 CENT AND
YOU GO GET SOME CREAM CORN?
HI. I'M LOOMIS SIMMONS.
LADIES, ARE YOU STUCK
IN A DEAD-END JOB?
DO YOU PUT IN HOURS AND
HOURS FOR A MINIMUM WAGE,
WHILE THE EXECUTIVES GET RICH
FROM YOUR BLOOD, SWEAT AND TEARS?
I HOPE SO. 'CAUSE I CAN HELP
YOU ACHIEVE YOUR DREAMS...
AND ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS...
THE PLAN IS SIMPLE. YOU GET
ME A JOB AT YOUR COMPANY.
THEN LET LOOMIS DO THE REST.
I'LL PINCH YOUR
"BOOTAIS-MAXIMUS,"
I'LL WHISPER SWEET NASTIES ALL
UP AND THROUGH YOUR EARLOBES.
I EVEN EXPOSE MYSELF. BUT
DON'T WORRY. IT'S NO BOTHER.
THEN YOU FILE A SEXUAL HARASSMENT
LAWSUIT AGAINST THE COMPANY...
AND GIVE LOOMIS HALF THE MONEY.
IT'S JUST THAT SIMPLE.
OBSERVE, WON'T YOU?
- MAIL CALL FOR MISS HOOTERS.
- THANKS, LOOMIS.
OH, HOW CLUMSY OF ME.
WOULD YOU MIND BENDING
OVER TO, UH, PICK THOSE UP?
OKAY, LOOMIS.
OH, MY, MY! LOOK, THE
PEAKS OF MOUNT "BOOTEY."
HEY, YOU SEXUALLY HARASSED
ME. I'M GOING TO SUE THIS COMPANY.
OF COURSE, THAT
WAS JUST A SAMPLE.
IN REALITY, THIS WOULD
GO ON FOR DAYS AND DAYS.
BUT DON'T TAKE
LOOMIS'S WORD FOR IT.
LISTEN TO SOME OF MY
SATISFIED CUSTOMERS.
LOOMIS GRABBED
MY AMPLE BREASTS...
AND WE SPLIT $200,000.
THANKS, LOOMIS.
LOOMIS CLIMBED ON ME
AT THE WATER COOLER...
AND RODE ME THROUGH
PERSONNEL AND WE SPLIT $500,000.
THANKS, LOOMIS.
YEE-HAW! RIDE 'EM, COWBOY!
WHAT YOU WAITIN' FOR, GIRLS? HURRY AND CALL
NOW, 'CAUSE I HAVEN'T HAD ANY IN WEEKS.
AND IF YOU ORDER
NOW, YOU WILL GET THIS.
A PHOTOCOPY OF LOOMIS BEHIND.
SO PICK UP THE PHONE AND DIAL:
CALL NOW. LOOMIS IS STANDING BY.
IT'S TIME TO MAKE A POSITIVE
CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE. SO...
HEY, KIDS. IT'S TIME
TO HAVE SOME FUN.
FIRST, I'M GONNA TEACH YOU HOW
TO ASSS... SEMBLE YOUR WEAPON.
♪♪ WHAT'S THAT KIDS? YOU
SAY THAT WE DID THAT YESTERDAY?
YOU'RE DAMN FREAKIN'
RIGHT WE DID IT YESTERDAY!
WE'RE GONNA DO IT EVERY FREAKIN'
DAY UNTIL YOU FREAKIN' GET IT RIGHT!
DO YOU FREAKIN'
READ ME, MAGGOTS?
♪♪ I SAID DO YOU
FREAKIN' READ FREAKIN' ME?
♪♪
THAT'S MORE LIKE IT. ♪♪
♪ THIS IS THE WAY
WE LOCK AND LOAD ♪
♪ LOCK AND LOAD LOCK AND LOAD ♪
♪ YOU BETTER LEARN
TO LOCK AND LOAD ♪♪
OR YOU'LL WIND UP CHOKING ON
YOUR FREAKIN' BLOOD IN THE JUNGLE...
WHILE CHARLIE PARADES AROUND WITH
YOUR BUDDY'S HEAD ON A FREAKIN' STICK!
OH, I WONDER WHO THAT COULD BE.
♪♪ LET'S JUST CHECK IT OUT.
FIRE IN THE FREAKIN' HOLE!
HEY, KIDS!
THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE TORTURED SCREAMS
OF MY OLD FOXHOLE BUDDY, AL KLANSKI.
HEY, AL, SORRY ABOUT
THE FRIENDLY FIRE.
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH
YOU, YOU FREAKIN' FREAK?
YOU'RE LUCKY I WAS WEARING
THE FREAKIN' FLAK JACKET, LARRY.
YEAH, WELL, YOU'RE LUCKY OLD ROSIE
HERE WASN'T FULL OF TEFLON TIPS.
OTHERWISE, BLAMO!
CALL THE BUGLER.
SO, AL, WHAT'S THE, UH,
RAINY-DAY FUN PROJECT FOR TODAY?
TODAY, LARRY, WE'RE GONNA MAKE A
BOUNCING BETTY ANTI-PERSONNEL MINE.
OUTSTANDING. LET'S HUMP IT
OVER TO THE ARTS AND CRAFTS AREA.
SHALL WE? ♪♪
♪♪ WE LEARNED
THAT IN THE JUNGLE.
NOW, LARRY, THIS IS REAL SIMPLE.
ALL YOUSE KIDS NEED IS A COUPLE
OF POPSICLE STICKS, RUBBER BANDS...
THAT'S ALL YOU
NEED. SOME GLUE...
YEP. AND A MINE.
YEAH, BUT REMEMBER, KIDS,
GLUE CAN BE FREAKIN' DANGEROUS.
SO CRACK A FREAKIN'
WINDOW. NOW...
HEY, DO YOU HEAR THAT?
I COULD SWEAR I
HEAR CHOPPERS, MAN.
I DON'T HEAR NOTHIN', LARRY.
OH, THAT'S BECAUSE YOU GOT HELP.
BUT IT'S TIME FOR THE REST OF
US TO GO TO FLASHBACK LAND.
YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO COME?
NO WAY, MAN. I GOT A BAD
FEELIN' ABOUT THIS ONE, LARRY.
AHH. AHH.
HEY, YOU GUYS. HOW WOULD YOU LIKE
A GOOD OLD AMERICAN CHOCOLATE BAR?
THANK YOU FOR CHOCOLATE BAR.
WE HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU TOO.
YOU DIE, YANKEE
PIG! NOW DIE NOW!
SARGE! SPEAK TO ME,
SARGE! SPEAK TO ME!
SARGE, SPEAK TO ME.
LARRY, COME BACK.
YOU'RE FREAKIN' OUT, LARRY.
NEVER... NEVER GET OFF THE BOAT!
NEVER GET OFF THE FREAKIN' BOAT, MAN!
YOU KNOW, AL, YOU WERE
RIGHT. IT WAS A BAD ONE.
HEY, KIDS, HOW DOES IT
FEEL TO GO TO HELL AND BACK?
♪♪ OH, COME ON.
SCHOOL'S NOT THAT BAD.
HEY, COME ON, LARRY. IT'S
TIME FOR US TO GET TO WORK.
THE MAIL DON'T DELIVER
ITSELF, YOU KNOW.
I'M BUYIN'.
WELL, SEE YOU KIDS
AGAIN TOMORROW.
UNTIL THEN, JUST BE GLAD YOU
WEREN'T BORN IN THE EARLY '50s.
♪♪
♪ SOMETIMES YOUR
HOMEWORK DON'T GET DONE ♪
♪ AND YOU CATCH
SOME FLAK FROM MOM ♪
♪ BUT THE KIND OF FLAK
THAT IS IN MY BACK ♪
♪ IS FROM STEPPING
ON A BOMB GO BANG ♪
♪ SOMETIMES YOUR
BEDROOM'S AWFUL DARK ♪
♪ AND THE MONSTER'S
UNDER YOUR BED ♪
♪ BUT THERE AIN'T NO FEAR
LIKE THE FEAR YOU FEEL ♪
♪ WHEN THE MONSTER'S
IN YOUR HEAD ♪♪
SOMEBODY MAKE IT STOP!
AS YOU WERE, KIDS.
LIVE FROM THE INNER CITY,
IT'S THE EAST HOLLYWOOD SQUARES.
WITH MICHAEL DORN,
MINISTER LOUIS FARRAKHAN,
THE CREAM OF WHEAT GUY,
HOT YOUNG DIRECTORS,
THE GREEN TRIPLETS,
JALEEL WHITE, JOE
AND LA TOYA JACKSON,
JOYCELYN ELDERS,
RUPAUL AND STEDMAN.
AND NOW THE HOST OF THE
EAST HOLLYWOOD SQUARES,
PETER MARSHALL.
THANK YOU, KENNY. WELCOME TO THE
EAST HOLLYWOOD SQUARES. HELLO, STARS.
NICE TO SEE EACH
AND EVERY ONE OF YOU.
I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET OUR
PLAYERS. FIRST, MICHELLE LASSMAN.
MICHELLE, WELCOME TO OUR SHOW.
WHAT DO YOU DO, DEAR, FOR A LIVING?
OH, I-I ADMINISTER ENEMAS
TO CONSTIPATED PETS, PETER.
OH, THAT'S NICE. GOOD FOR YOU
AND CONTINUED SUCCESS. THANK YOU.
YES. UH, THIS GENTLEMAN
IS ALLAN STEVENSON.
ALLAN, WELCOME TO THE
SHOW. WHAT DO YOU DO, SIR?
WHAT?
OH, UH, MY NAME'S
ALLAN STEVENSON,
AND I AM A TEST VOLUNTEER FOR
PRESCRIPTION DRUGS IN LABORATORIES.
THANK YOU. AND
WELCOME TO OUR SHOW.
YES, NOW, ALLAN,
UH, YOU WON THE...
ALLAN, Y-YOU WON THE TOSS BACKSTAGE,
SIR, SO I WANT YOU TO PICK A STAR.
I WOULD LIKE TO BEGIN
BY TAKING RUPAUL.
OH, TAKE ME, ALLAN. TAKE ME.
NOW, RUPAUL...
UH, RUPAUL, HERE'S THE QUESTION.
IN THE 1992 MOVIE
THE CRYING GAME,
WHAT IS THE SURPRISE
IN THE CRYING GAME.
SURPRISE, ALLAN. IS
THIS A TRICK QUESTION?
THERE WAS NO
SURPRISE IN THAT FILM.
I-I-I, UH, I DISAGREE.
GOOD. THAT'S RIGHT. THE SURPRISE
WAS THAT THE FEMALE LEAD DIL...
TURNED OUT TO BE A MAN
AND "X" GETS THE SQUARE.
OH, WAIT. ALLAN, I KNEW ALL
ALONG THAT DIL HAD A PICKLE.
- MICHELLE, QUICKLY, PICK A STAR.
- I'LL TAKE THAT CUTE LITTLE
URKEL KID, PLEASE, PETER.
JALEEL WHITE. YES,
TV'S, UH, URKEL. JALEEL.
UH, IF YOU DON'T MIND MY SAYIN' IT,
JALEEL, YOU... YOU DON'T LOOK SO WELL.
WELL, YOU KNOW, I'M GOING
THROUGH A MESSY DIVORCE, PETER.
NEVER MARRY A BROAD
YOU MET AT A STRIP CLUB.
I SEE. WELL, THANK
YOU FOR THAT ADVICE.
NOW HERE'S YOUR
QUESTION. HOW OLD ARE YOU?
I'M 14.
- OH, I DISAGREE.
- THAT'S GOOD.
'CAUSE JALEEL IS ACTUALLY,
ON ST. SWITHIN'S DAY, WILL BE 38.
OF COURSE I'M NOT 14. IF
YOU BELIEVE THAT, BABY,
I'VE GOT A TIME-SHARE AT FLORENCE AND
NORMANDY YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN.
WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. CIRCLE
GETS THE SQUARE. ALLAN, BACK TO YOU, SIR.
UH, GEEZ! THERE'S A LOT
OF GEESE IN HERE. YEAH.
I WILL TAKE LOUIS FARRAKHAN,
PLEASE. CERTAINLY. WELCOME, MINISTER.
MR. PETER MARSHALL.
OH, NO. I DON'T NEED YOUR
CLAPS. I DON'T NEED YOUR CLAPS.
MR. PETER MARSHALL, YOU
CAN SAVE YOUR BREATH.
GIVE ME AN "X," AN "X" RIGHT
NOW, AND I WILL WEAR IT PROUDLY.
WELL, MINISTER, WE HAVE TO
ASK YOU A QUESTION FIRST, SIR.
I WILL NOT HAVE THIS. I WILL NOT STAND FOR
AN "O" TO BE ON THIS PROUD BLACK SQUARE.
SEE, BECAUSE THE
"O" EQUALS ZERO, SEE.
IT IS NULL AND IT IS VOID.
WELL, LISTEN, PAL, I'M NOT GONNA
ARGUE WITH THAT. "X" GETS THE SQUARE.
LUCKY BREAK FOR YOU. COULD
HAVE BEEN A BAD BREAK FOR ME.
A-ASSALAMU ALAIKUM.
ALL RIGHT. MICHELLE...
I'LL BUST YOUR ASS,
BOY! I WILL BUST HIS ASS!
UH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
LET'S MOVE ALONG HERE.
- MICHELLE, PICK A STAR, PLEASE.
- I'LL TAKE MICHAEL DORN
FOR THE WIN.
FROM TV'S STAR TREK, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN, THE NEXT GENERATION.
UH, MICHAEL.
NICE TO SEE YOU, MICHAEL. AND I
SEE YOU'RE STILL IN YOUR MAKE-UP.
WHAT MAKE UP DO YOU
SPEAK OF, WHITE HUMAN?
NEVER MIND. HERE'S
YOUR QUESTION, MICHAEL.
THE ENTERPRISE LEAVES RIGEL
7 AT THE SPEED OF WARP FIVE.
THE KLINGON DESTROYER TROG LEAVES
ANTARES 4 AT THE SPEED OF WARP SIX.
NOW WHICH CRAFT WILL
REACH DEEP SPACE 9 FIRST?
HMM. I WILL SAY THE ENTERPRISE.
THE ENTERPRISE.
MICHELLE? I DISAGREE.
CORRECT. CIRCLE GETS
THE SQUARE AND THE GAME.
I HAVE BEEN DISHONORED
AND TO A KLINGON HONOR IS ALL.
THE ONLY HONORABLE
SOLUTION... IS DEATH.
OHH!
WELL, THAT DOES IT FOR THIS SESSION
OF THE EAST HOLLYWOOD SQUARES.
THANK YOU, STARS.
THANK YOU, PLAYERS.
SEE YOU HERE NEXT TIME FOR MORE
FUN ON THE EAST HOLLYWOOD SQUARES.
I SAID CLEAN THAT UP. WILL
SOMEBODY CLEAN THAT UP?
HEY, YO. JIVE RECORDS
RECORDING ARTIST, SOULS
OF MISCHIEF, SINGING
"93 'TIL INFINITY."
OAKLAND ALL UP IN THE HOUSE.
♪♪ YO, WHAT'S UP, Y'ALL?
SOULS OF MISCHIEF IN THE HOUSE.
TAJAI, A-PLUS, PHESTO, OPIO.
BROTHERS FROM THE EAST SIDE "O."
THAT'S OAKLAND,
CALIFORNIA, BABY.
WE NOT NO MAD, MURDEROUS MANIACAL
TYPE, BROTHERS. WE JUST BE CHILLIN'.
SO, OPIO, WHY DON'T YOU
TELL ME WHO YOU'RE CALLIN'.
♪ DIAL THE SEVEN
DIGITS CALL UP BRIDGET ♪
♪ HER MAN'S A MIDGET PLUS,
SHE GOT FRIENDS YO, I CAN DIG IT ♪
♪ HERE'S A 40, SWIG IT
YOU KNOW IT'S FRIGID ♪
♪ I GOT 'EM CHILLIN' IN THE
COOLER BREAK OUT THE RULER ♪
DAMN! ♪ THAT'S THE FATTEST
TOKE I'VE EVER SEEN ♪
♪ BUT WHAT DOES KEEN AND CALI GETTIN'
WEEDED MAKES HER FEEL LIKE MAUI ♪
♪ NOW WE FEEL THE
GOOD VIBRATIONS ♪
♪ SO MANY FEMALES ♪
♪ SO MUCH INSPIRATION ♪
♪ I GET INSPIRED BY THAT
STUFF TOO I'LL FRONT YOU ♪
♪ IF YOU HANG WITH A PUNK CREW I
ROAM THE STRIP FOR BONES TO PICK ♪
♪ WHEN I FIND ONE I'M DONE ♪
♪ TAKE HER HOME
AND QUICKLY DO THIS ♪
♪ I NEED NOT EXPLAIN
THIS A-PLUS IS FAMOUS ♪
♪ SO GET THE "A" ♪
♪ HEY, MISS, WHO'S THERE I'M
THROUGH THERE NO TIME TO DO HAIR ♪
♪ THE FLICK'S AT 8:00
SO GET STRAIGHT ♪
♪ YOU LOOK GREAT
LET'S GRUB NOW ♪
♪ A RUBDOWN SOUNDS FLAVOR
LATER, THERE'S A THEATER ♪
♪ WE IN THE CUT THE
CINEMA WAS MEDIOCRE ♪
♪ TAKE HER TO THE CRIB
SO I CAN STROKE HER ♪
♪ KIDS GET BROKE FOR THEIR
SKINS WHEN I'M IN CLOSE RANGE ♪
♪ I THROWS GAME AT YOUR DIP LIKE
HANDBALL 'CAUSE THE MAN'S ALL THAT ♪
♪ ALL PHAT I BE THE
CHILL FROM 93 'TIL ♪
♪ THIS IS HOW WE
CHILL FROM 93 'TIL ♪
♪ THIS IS HOW WE
CHILL FROM 93 'TIL ♪
♪ THIS IS HOW WE
CHILL FROM 93 'TIL ♪
♪ THIS IS HOW WE
CHILL FROM 93 'TIL ♪
♪ OH, YEAH, THIS IS HOW
WE CHILL FROM 93 'TIL ♪
♪ THIS IS HOW WE
CHILL FROM 93 'TIL ♪
♪ THIS IS HOW WE
CHILL FROM 93 'TIL ♪
♪ THIS IS HOW WE CHILL
FROM 93 'TIL ♪ ♪ I BE COOLIN' ♪
♪ SCHOOL'S IN
SESSION BUT I'M FRESH ♪
♪ RAPPIN' ♪ ♪ SO I TAKE TIME
OFF TO NEVER RHYME SOFT ♪
♪ I'M OFF ON MY OWN
TRIP WITH MY OWN CLICK ♪
♪ FOR MANY BAD BROS WITH
THEIR FAT STOKE GETTIN' BLUNTED ♪
♪ FOLDING BLUNTS HOLDING
STUNTS CAPTIVE WITH MY PERSONA ♪
♪ PLUS, I BOMBA, TESTIN'
FOOLS IS TESTIN' MY PATIENCE ♪
♪ BUT I STAY FRESH AND ♪ ♪ RESTIN'
AT THE MALL ATTENDANCE ON LOW ♪
♪ BUT I'M JUST SHOPPIN'
FOR MY WINTER EXPLOITS ♪
♪ SOME NEW FITS SOME NEW KICKS ♪
♪ I OFTEN DO THIS 'CAUSE IT'S
THE PITS NOT BEING DIPPED ♪
♪ FLIP ♪ ♪ THE FLIER
ATTIRE FEMALE'S DESIRE ♪
♪ BABY, YOU CAN STEP TO THIS ♪♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪
♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪
- ♪ TAKE IT FROM ME
IT'S A'IGHT TO BE ♪
- HI-YAH!
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ AND HOW WOULD YA... HOW
WOULD YA... HOW WOULD YA F... ♪
♪ HOW WOULD YOU FEEL KNOWING
PREJUDICE WAS OBSOLETE ♪
♪ AND ALL MANKIND
DANCED TO THE EXACT BEAT ♪
♪ AND AT NIGHT IT WAS SAFE
TO WALK DOWN THE STREET ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪♪
♪♪
HURRY UP, UNCLE PETE.
OKAY, HERE WE ARE,
BOY. HERE WE ARE.
DON'T IT LOOK NICE?
YEAH, WELL, LET'S RIDE
SOME RIDES. RIDES?
YOU AIN'T SAYIN' NOTHIN'
ABOUT GETTING ON NO RIDES.
YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO GO TO
THE CARNIVAL AND HERE WE ARE.
WELL, YOU AIN'T RIDIN' A DAMN
THING. NOW LOOK AT IT. NOW LET'S GO.
I WANT TO RIDE
THE CARNIVAL RIDES.
OKAY, YOU CAN GET
ON THE CARNIVAL RIDES.
COME ON, LET'S GO
OVER TO THE TICKET MAN.
WELCOME TO TWO
FLAGS OVER COMPTON.
OKAY, HOW YOU
DOIN', MR. TWO FLAGS?
UH, UH, LET ME JUST
ASK YOU A QUESTION.
HOW MUCH IT COST TO GET ON THE
ROLLER COASTER? THAT'S ABOUT FOUR BUCKS.
FOUR BUCKS TO GET ON A ROLLER
COASTER? GOOD LORD! THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY.
HOW ABOUT I GIVE YOU 88 CENTS
AND YOU LET ME SCREAM IN YOUR EAR?
I DON'T THINK SO.
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
HOW MUCH... LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING...
HOW MUCH... LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING...
HOW MUCH WOULD IT COST
TO GET ON THE BUMPER CARS?
THREE DOLLARS,
$3.00, $3.00. $3...
- NOW HOW MUCH IT COST
IF I DON'T BUMP NOBODY?
- STILL $3.00.
GOOD LORD! THAT'S
A LOT OF MONEY.
HOW ABOUT A GIVE YOU 97 CENTS AND
YOU LET ME CRASH MY PINTO INTO YOU?
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. HOW MUCH IT
COST TO GET IN THE HAUNTED HOUSE?
- THAT'S ABOUT $6.00.
- I'M SCARED OF $6.00.
SIX DOLLARS? OKAY, HOW ABOUT I GIVE
YOU 10 CENTS AND YOU JUST SCREAM "BOO"?
BOY, I WISH YOU'D JUST LEAVE.
GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.
UNCLE PETE, I'D RATHER
RIDE THE FERRIS WHEEL.
OKAY, OKAY. HOLD YOUR HORSES,
BOY. ALL RIGHT? ALL RIGHT?
UH, HOW MUCH IT COST TO GET ON
THE FERRIS WHEEL? THAT'S ABOUT $2.00.
TWO DOLLARS? GOOD LORD!
HOW ABOUT I GIVE YOU 20 CENTS AND
YOU LET US SPIN AROUND TILL WE VOMIT?
BOY, IF YOU DON'T
GET OUT OF HERE...
COTTON! COTTON CANDY! PEANUTS!
UNCLE PETE, I WANT
SOME COTTON CANDY.
OKAY, OKAY. YOU'LL GET
SOME COTTON CANDY.
HOW MUCH FOR THE COTTON
CANDY? COTTON CANDY, $1.00.
ONE DOLLAR FOR COTTON CANDY?
GOOD LORD! THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY.
NOW WHY SHOULD I PAY THAT MUCH
MONEY FOR A SUGAR-COATED AFRO?
I WANT SOME ROASTED PEANUTS.
BOY, YOU WANT EVERYTHING. HOW MUCH
IT COST FOR SOME ROASTED PEANUTS?
ONE BUCK, 50. A BUCK-50? HOW
MUCH IT COST FOR UNROASTED?
A BUCK, 50. NOW HOW THEY GONNA
QUOTE THE SAME AMOUNT OF MONEY...
WHEN ONE DON'T
GOT NO ROAST ON IT?
UNCLE PETE, CAN I
PLEASE HAVE A BALLOON?
OKAY, YOU CAN
PLEASE HAVE A BALLOON.
HOW MUCH... LET ME
ASK YOU A QUESTION. LET
ME ASK YOU, HOW MUCH
IT COST FOR A BALLOON?
TWO DOLLARS. TWO DOLLARS?
NOW WHY SHOULD I SPEND $2.00
ON SOMETHING I ALREADY HAVE?
BOY, HERE'S YOUR BALLOON.
NOW BLOW IT UP. HEY...
UNCLE PETE, WHAT
DOES "CONDOM" MEAN?
CONDOM MEANS GIVE IT
BACK WHEN YOU'RE DONE.
HEY, I DIDN'T KNOW LUTHER
CAMPBELL WAS IN TOWN. ALL RIGHT.
LOOK AT ALL THOSE GAMES! I
WANT TO DO THE SHOOTING GALLERY.
GOOD LORD! AND THE RING TOSS.
GOOD LORD! AND
THE DART THROWING.
GOOD LORD! DON'T YOU
LIKE TAG? TAG, YOU'RE IT.
NO, I'M NOT. I WANT TO HAVE FUN.
OKAY, I'LL SHOW YOU SOME FUN.
COME ON. LET'S GO SEE THE FREAK SHOW.
STEP RIGHT UP! STEP RIGHT
UP! SEE THE BEARDED LADY!
SEE COCO, THE HUMAN BOWEL!
SEE LULU, THE 600-POUND WOMAN!
- HEY, EXCUSE ME. HOW MUCH
IT COST TO SEE THE FAT LADY?
- UH, $2.00.
TWO DOLLARS FOR A FAT LADY?
OPRAH COME ON EVERY DAY FOR FREE.
OKAY. HOW ABOUT I GIVE YOU 30 CENTS
AND YOU SHOW ME A RERUN OF THEA?
THIS IS BORING. I'M GONNA
RIDE ON THE FERRIS WHEEL.
WHERE YOU GOIN', BOY? YOU
BETTER GET... YOU BETTER GET...
NOW, WHERE YOU GET
SOME MONEY FROM?
MAMA GAVE ME $10. TEN DOLLARS?
GOOD LORD! THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY.
WHY DON'T YOU LEND YOUR UNCLE
PETE $2.00 SO I CAN GET SOME POPCORN?
TWO DOLLARS? GOOD
LORD! THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY.
HOW ABOUT I GIVE 40 CENT AND
YOU GO GET SOME CREAM CORN?
HI. I'M LOOMIS SIMMONS.
LADIES, ARE YOU STUCK
IN A DEAD-END JOB?
DO YOU PUT IN HOURS AND
HOURS FOR A MINIMUM WAGE,
WHILE THE EXECUTIVES GET RICH
FROM YOUR BLOOD, SWEAT AND TEARS?
I HOPE SO. 'CAUSE I CAN HELP
YOU ACHIEVE YOUR DREAMS...
AND ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS...
THE PLAN IS SIMPLE. YOU GET
ME A JOB AT YOUR COMPANY.
THEN LET LOOMIS DO THE REST.
I'LL PINCH YOUR
"BOOTAIS-MAXIMUS,"
I'LL WHISPER SWEET NASTIES ALL
UP AND THROUGH YOUR EARLOBES.
I EVEN EXPOSE MYSELF. BUT
DON'T WORRY. IT'S NO BOTHER.
THEN YOU FILE A SEXUAL HARASSMENT
LAWSUIT AGAINST THE COMPANY...
AND GIVE LOOMIS HALF THE MONEY.
IT'S JUST THAT SIMPLE.
OBSERVE, WON'T YOU?
- MAIL CALL FOR MISS HOOTERS.
- THANKS, LOOMIS.
OH, HOW CLUMSY OF ME.
WOULD YOU MIND BENDING
OVER TO, UH, PICK THOSE UP?
OKAY, LOOMIS.
OH, MY, MY! LOOK, THE
PEAKS OF MOUNT "BOOTEY."
HEY, YOU SEXUALLY HARASSED
ME. I'M GOING TO SUE THIS COMPANY.
OF COURSE, THAT
WAS JUST A SAMPLE.
IN REALITY, THIS WOULD
GO ON FOR DAYS AND DAYS.
BUT DON'T TAKE
LOOMIS'S WORD FOR IT.
LISTEN TO SOME OF MY
SATISFIED CUSTOMERS.
LOOMIS GRABBED
MY AMPLE BREASTS...
AND WE SPLIT $200,000.
THANKS, LOOMIS.
LOOMIS CLIMBED ON ME
AT THE WATER COOLER...
AND RODE ME THROUGH
PERSONNEL AND WE SPLIT $500,000.
THANKS, LOOMIS.
YEE-HAW! RIDE 'EM, COWBOY!
WHAT YOU WAITIN' FOR, GIRLS? HURRY AND CALL
NOW, 'CAUSE I HAVEN'T HAD ANY IN WEEKS.
AND IF YOU ORDER
NOW, YOU WILL GET THIS.
A PHOTOCOPY OF LOOMIS BEHIND.
SO PICK UP THE PHONE AND DIAL:
CALL NOW. LOOMIS IS STANDING BY.
IT'S TIME TO MAKE A POSITIVE
CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE. SO...
HEY, KIDS. IT'S TIME
TO HAVE SOME FUN.
FIRST, I'M GONNA TEACH YOU HOW
TO ASSS... SEMBLE YOUR WEAPON.
♪♪ WHAT'S THAT KIDS? YOU
SAY THAT WE DID THAT YESTERDAY?
YOU'RE DAMN FREAKIN'
RIGHT WE DID IT YESTERDAY!
WE'RE GONNA DO IT EVERY FREAKIN'
DAY UNTIL YOU FREAKIN' GET IT RIGHT!
DO YOU FREAKIN'
READ ME, MAGGOTS?
♪♪ I SAID DO YOU
FREAKIN' READ FREAKIN' ME?
♪♪
THAT'S MORE LIKE IT. ♪♪
♪ THIS IS THE WAY
WE LOCK AND LOAD ♪
♪ LOCK AND LOAD LOCK AND LOAD ♪
♪ YOU BETTER LEARN
TO LOCK AND LOAD ♪♪
OR YOU'LL WIND UP CHOKING ON
YOUR FREAKIN' BLOOD IN THE JUNGLE...
WHILE CHARLIE PARADES AROUND WITH
YOUR BUDDY'S HEAD ON A FREAKIN' STICK!
OH, I WONDER WHO THAT COULD BE.
♪♪ LET'S JUST CHECK IT OUT.
FIRE IN THE FREAKIN' HOLE!
HEY, KIDS!
THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE TORTURED SCREAMS
OF MY OLD FOXHOLE BUDDY, AL KLANSKI.
HEY, AL, SORRY ABOUT
THE FRIENDLY FIRE.
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH
YOU, YOU FREAKIN' FREAK?
YOU'RE LUCKY I WAS WEARING
THE FREAKIN' FLAK JACKET, LARRY.
YEAH, WELL, YOU'RE LUCKY OLD ROSIE
HERE WASN'T FULL OF TEFLON TIPS.
OTHERWISE, BLAMO!
CALL THE BUGLER.
SO, AL, WHAT'S THE, UH,
RAINY-DAY FUN PROJECT FOR TODAY?
TODAY, LARRY, WE'RE GONNA MAKE A
BOUNCING BETTY ANTI-PERSONNEL MINE.
OUTSTANDING. LET'S HUMP IT
OVER TO THE ARTS AND CRAFTS AREA.
SHALL WE? ♪♪
♪♪ WE LEARNED
THAT IN THE JUNGLE.
NOW, LARRY, THIS IS REAL SIMPLE.
ALL YOUSE KIDS NEED IS A COUPLE
OF POPSICLE STICKS, RUBBER BANDS...
THAT'S ALL YOU
NEED. SOME GLUE...
YEP. AND A MINE.
YEAH, BUT REMEMBER, KIDS,
GLUE CAN BE FREAKIN' DANGEROUS.
SO CRACK A FREAKIN'
WINDOW. NOW...
HEY, DO YOU HEAR THAT?
I COULD SWEAR I
HEAR CHOPPERS, MAN.
I DON'T HEAR NOTHIN', LARRY.
OH, THAT'S BECAUSE YOU GOT HELP.
BUT IT'S TIME FOR THE REST OF
US TO GO TO FLASHBACK LAND.
YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO COME?
NO WAY, MAN. I GOT A BAD
FEELIN' ABOUT THIS ONE, LARRY.
AHH. AHH.
HEY, YOU GUYS. HOW WOULD YOU LIKE
A GOOD OLD AMERICAN CHOCOLATE BAR?
THANK YOU FOR CHOCOLATE BAR.
WE HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU TOO.
YOU DIE, YANKEE
PIG! NOW DIE NOW!
SARGE! SPEAK TO ME,
SARGE! SPEAK TO ME!
SARGE, SPEAK TO ME.
LARRY, COME BACK.
YOU'RE FREAKIN' OUT, LARRY.
NEVER... NEVER GET OFF THE BOAT!
NEVER GET OFF THE FREAKIN' BOAT, MAN!
YOU KNOW, AL, YOU WERE
RIGHT. IT WAS A BAD ONE.
HEY, KIDS, HOW DOES IT
FEEL TO GO TO HELL AND BACK?
♪♪ OH, COME ON.
SCHOOL'S NOT THAT BAD.
HEY, COME ON, LARRY. IT'S
TIME FOR US TO GET TO WORK.
THE MAIL DON'T DELIVER
ITSELF, YOU KNOW.
I'M BUYIN'.
WELL, SEE YOU KIDS
AGAIN TOMORROW.
UNTIL THEN, JUST BE GLAD YOU
WEREN'T BORN IN THE EARLY '50s.
♪♪
♪ SOMETIMES YOUR
HOMEWORK DON'T GET DONE ♪
♪ AND YOU CATCH
SOME FLAK FROM MOM ♪
♪ BUT THE KIND OF FLAK
THAT IS IN MY BACK ♪
♪ IS FROM STEPPING
ON A BOMB GO BANG ♪
♪ SOMETIMES YOUR
BEDROOM'S AWFUL DARK ♪
♪ AND THE MONSTER'S
UNDER YOUR BED ♪
♪ BUT THERE AIN'T NO FEAR
LIKE THE FEAR YOU FEEL ♪
♪ WHEN THE MONSTER'S
IN YOUR HEAD ♪♪
SOMEBODY MAKE IT STOP!
AS YOU WERE, KIDS.
LIVE FROM THE INNER CITY,
IT'S THE EAST HOLLYWOOD SQUARES.
WITH MICHAEL DORN,
MINISTER LOUIS FARRAKHAN,
THE CREAM OF WHEAT GUY,
HOT YOUNG DIRECTORS,
THE GREEN TRIPLETS,
JALEEL WHITE, JOE
AND LA TOYA JACKSON,
JOYCELYN ELDERS,
RUPAUL AND STEDMAN.
AND NOW THE HOST OF THE
EAST HOLLYWOOD SQUARES,
PETER MARSHALL.
THANK YOU, KENNY. WELCOME TO THE
EAST HOLLYWOOD SQUARES. HELLO, STARS.
NICE TO SEE EACH
AND EVERY ONE OF YOU.
I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET OUR
PLAYERS. FIRST, MICHELLE LASSMAN.
MICHELLE, WELCOME TO OUR SHOW.
WHAT DO YOU DO, DEAR, FOR A LIVING?
OH, I-I ADMINISTER ENEMAS
TO CONSTIPATED PETS, PETER.
OH, THAT'S NICE. GOOD FOR YOU
AND CONTINUED SUCCESS. THANK YOU.
YES. UH, THIS GENTLEMAN
IS ALLAN STEVENSON.
ALLAN, WELCOME TO THE
SHOW. WHAT DO YOU DO, SIR?
WHAT?
OH, UH, MY NAME'S
ALLAN STEVENSON,
AND I AM A TEST VOLUNTEER FOR
PRESCRIPTION DRUGS IN LABORATORIES.
THANK YOU. AND
WELCOME TO OUR SHOW.
YES, NOW, ALLAN,
UH, YOU WON THE...
ALLAN, Y-YOU WON THE TOSS BACKSTAGE,
SIR, SO I WANT YOU TO PICK A STAR.
I WOULD LIKE TO BEGIN
BY TAKING RUPAUL.
OH, TAKE ME, ALLAN. TAKE ME.
NOW, RUPAUL...
UH, RUPAUL, HERE'S THE QUESTION.
IN THE 1992 MOVIE
THE CRYING GAME,
WHAT IS THE SURPRISE
IN THE CRYING GAME.
SURPRISE, ALLAN. IS
THIS A TRICK QUESTION?
THERE WAS NO
SURPRISE IN THAT FILM.
I-I-I, UH, I DISAGREE.
GOOD. THAT'S RIGHT. THE SURPRISE
WAS THAT THE FEMALE LEAD DIL...
TURNED OUT TO BE A MAN
AND "X" GETS THE SQUARE.
OH, WAIT. ALLAN, I KNEW ALL
ALONG THAT DIL HAD A PICKLE.
- MICHELLE, QUICKLY, PICK A STAR.
- I'LL TAKE THAT CUTE LITTLE
URKEL KID, PLEASE, PETER.
JALEEL WHITE. YES,
TV'S, UH, URKEL. JALEEL.
UH, IF YOU DON'T MIND MY SAYIN' IT,
JALEEL, YOU... YOU DON'T LOOK SO WELL.
WELL, YOU KNOW, I'M GOING
THROUGH A MESSY DIVORCE, PETER.
NEVER MARRY A BROAD
YOU MET AT A STRIP CLUB.
I SEE. WELL, THANK
YOU FOR THAT ADVICE.
NOW HERE'S YOUR
QUESTION. HOW OLD ARE YOU?
I'M 14.
- OH, I DISAGREE.
- THAT'S GOOD.
'CAUSE JALEEL IS ACTUALLY,
ON ST. SWITHIN'S DAY, WILL BE 38.
OF COURSE I'M NOT 14. IF
YOU BELIEVE THAT, BABY,
I'VE GOT A TIME-SHARE AT FLORENCE AND
NORMANDY YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN.
WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. CIRCLE
GETS THE SQUARE. ALLAN, BACK TO YOU, SIR.
UH, GEEZ! THERE'S A LOT
OF GEESE IN HERE. YEAH.
I WILL TAKE LOUIS FARRAKHAN,
PLEASE. CERTAINLY. WELCOME, MINISTER.
MR. PETER MARSHALL.
OH, NO. I DON'T NEED YOUR
CLAPS. I DON'T NEED YOUR CLAPS.
MR. PETER MARSHALL, YOU
CAN SAVE YOUR BREATH.
GIVE ME AN "X," AN "X" RIGHT
NOW, AND I WILL WEAR IT PROUDLY.
WELL, MINISTER, WE HAVE TO
ASK YOU A QUESTION FIRST, SIR.
I WILL NOT HAVE THIS. I WILL NOT STAND FOR
AN "O" TO BE ON THIS PROUD BLACK SQUARE.
SEE, BECAUSE THE
"O" EQUALS ZERO, SEE.
IT IS NULL AND IT IS VOID.
WELL, LISTEN, PAL, I'M NOT GONNA
ARGUE WITH THAT. "X" GETS THE SQUARE.
LUCKY BREAK FOR YOU. COULD
HAVE BEEN A BAD BREAK FOR ME.
A-ASSALAMU ALAIKUM.
ALL RIGHT. MICHELLE...
I'LL BUST YOUR ASS,
BOY! I WILL BUST HIS ASS!
UH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
LET'S MOVE ALONG HERE.
- MICHELLE, PICK A STAR, PLEASE.
- I'LL TAKE MICHAEL DORN
FOR THE WIN.
FROM TV'S STAR TREK, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN, THE NEXT GENERATION.
UH, MICHAEL.
NICE TO SEE YOU, MICHAEL. AND I
SEE YOU'RE STILL IN YOUR MAKE-UP.
WHAT MAKE UP DO YOU
SPEAK OF, WHITE HUMAN?
NEVER MIND. HERE'S
YOUR QUESTION, MICHAEL.
THE ENTERPRISE LEAVES RIGEL
7 AT THE SPEED OF WARP FIVE.
THE KLINGON DESTROYER TROG LEAVES
ANTARES 4 AT THE SPEED OF WARP SIX.
NOW WHICH CRAFT WILL
REACH DEEP SPACE 9 FIRST?
HMM. I WILL SAY THE ENTERPRISE.
THE ENTERPRISE.
MICHELLE? I DISAGREE.
CORRECT. CIRCLE GETS
THE SQUARE AND THE GAME.
I HAVE BEEN DISHONORED
AND TO A KLINGON HONOR IS ALL.
THE ONLY HONORABLE
SOLUTION... IS DEATH.
OHH!
WELL, THAT DOES IT FOR THIS SESSION
OF THE EAST HOLLYWOOD SQUARES.
THANK YOU, STARS.
THANK YOU, PLAYERS.
SEE YOU HERE NEXT TIME FOR MORE
FUN ON THE EAST HOLLYWOOD SQUARES.
I SAID CLEAN THAT UP. WILL
SOMEBODY CLEAN THAT UP?
HEY, YO. JIVE RECORDS
RECORDING ARTIST, SOULS
OF MISCHIEF, SINGING
"93 'TIL INFINITY."
OAKLAND ALL UP IN THE HOUSE.
♪♪ YO, WHAT'S UP, Y'ALL?
SOULS OF MISCHIEF IN THE HOUSE.
TAJAI, A-PLUS, PHESTO, OPIO.
BROTHERS FROM THE EAST SIDE "O."
THAT'S OAKLAND,
CALIFORNIA, BABY.
WE NOT NO MAD, MURDEROUS MANIACAL
TYPE, BROTHERS. WE JUST BE CHILLIN'.
SO, OPIO, WHY DON'T YOU
TELL ME WHO YOU'RE CALLIN'.
♪ DIAL THE SEVEN
DIGITS CALL UP BRIDGET ♪
♪ HER MAN'S A MIDGET PLUS,
SHE GOT FRIENDS YO, I CAN DIG IT ♪
♪ HERE'S A 40, SWIG IT
YOU KNOW IT'S FRIGID ♪
♪ I GOT 'EM CHILLIN' IN THE
COOLER BREAK OUT THE RULER ♪
DAMN! ♪ THAT'S THE FATTEST
TOKE I'VE EVER SEEN ♪
♪ BUT WHAT DOES KEEN AND CALI GETTIN'
WEEDED MAKES HER FEEL LIKE MAUI ♪
♪ NOW WE FEEL THE
GOOD VIBRATIONS ♪
♪ SO MANY FEMALES ♪
♪ SO MUCH INSPIRATION ♪
♪ I GET INSPIRED BY THAT
STUFF TOO I'LL FRONT YOU ♪
♪ IF YOU HANG WITH A PUNK CREW I
ROAM THE STRIP FOR BONES TO PICK ♪
♪ WHEN I FIND ONE I'M DONE ♪
♪ TAKE HER HOME
AND QUICKLY DO THIS ♪
♪ I NEED NOT EXPLAIN
THIS A-PLUS IS FAMOUS ♪
♪ SO GET THE "A" ♪
♪ HEY, MISS, WHO'S THERE I'M
THROUGH THERE NO TIME TO DO HAIR ♪
♪ THE FLICK'S AT 8:00
SO GET STRAIGHT ♪
♪ YOU LOOK GREAT
LET'S GRUB NOW ♪
♪ A RUBDOWN SOUNDS FLAVOR
LATER, THERE'S A THEATER ♪
♪ WE IN THE CUT THE
CINEMA WAS MEDIOCRE ♪
♪ TAKE HER TO THE CRIB
SO I CAN STROKE HER ♪
♪ KIDS GET BROKE FOR THEIR
SKINS WHEN I'M IN CLOSE RANGE ♪
♪ I THROWS GAME AT YOUR DIP LIKE
HANDBALL 'CAUSE THE MAN'S ALL THAT ♪
♪ ALL PHAT I BE THE
CHILL FROM 93 'TIL ♪
♪ THIS IS HOW WE
CHILL FROM 93 'TIL ♪
♪ THIS IS HOW WE
CHILL FROM 93 'TIL ♪
♪ THIS IS HOW WE
CHILL FROM 93 'TIL ♪
♪ THIS IS HOW WE
CHILL FROM 93 'TIL ♪
♪ OH, YEAH, THIS IS HOW
WE CHILL FROM 93 'TIL ♪
♪ THIS IS HOW WE
CHILL FROM 93 'TIL ♪
♪ THIS IS HOW WE
CHILL FROM 93 'TIL ♪
♪ THIS IS HOW WE CHILL
FROM 93 'TIL ♪ ♪ I BE COOLIN' ♪
♪ SCHOOL'S IN
SESSION BUT I'M FRESH ♪
♪ RAPPIN' ♪ ♪ SO I TAKE TIME
OFF TO NEVER RHYME SOFT ♪
♪ I'M OFF ON MY OWN
TRIP WITH MY OWN CLICK ♪
♪ FOR MANY BAD BROS WITH
THEIR FAT STOKE GETTIN' BLUNTED ♪
♪ FOLDING BLUNTS HOLDING
STUNTS CAPTIVE WITH MY PERSONA ♪
♪ PLUS, I BOMBA, TESTIN'
FOOLS IS TESTIN' MY PATIENCE ♪
♪ BUT I STAY FRESH AND ♪ ♪ RESTIN'
AT THE MALL ATTENDANCE ON LOW ♪
♪ BUT I'M JUST SHOPPIN'
FOR MY WINTER EXPLOITS ♪
♪ SOME NEW FITS SOME NEW KICKS ♪
♪ I OFTEN DO THIS 'CAUSE IT'S
THE PITS NOT BEING DIPPED ♪
♪ FLIP ♪ ♪ THE FLIER
ATTIRE FEMALE'S DESIRE ♪
♪ BABY, YOU CAN STEP TO THIS ♪♪