In Living Color (1990–1994): Season 5, Episode 17 - The White League - full transcript
[Man] MARK JACKSON
PREPARES TO SHOOT.
HE EYES THE HOOP.
THE BALL IS UP.
AND IT'S GOOD! HE DOES IT! THAT'S
49 CONSECUTIVE FREE THROWS.
FORTY-NINE IN A ROW.
MARK'S GOING FOR 50 STRAIGHT.
- MARK, UH, HOW DO YOU FEEL?
- GET YOUR CHECKBOOK READY.
I'M ONE SHOT AWAY FROM PAYDAY.
THE SCENE: CLIPPERS'S
PRACTICE. THE CHALLENGE:
CAN MARK JACKSON SINK 50
CONSECUTIVE FREE THROWS?
THE WAGER: $5,000. MARK,
HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
LOOSE.
ANY TRUTH TO THE RUMOR THAT MICHAEL
JORDAN HAS A PIECE OF THE ACTION TODAY?
NO. MICHAEL JACKSON?
NO. PETE ROSE?
NO. M-MAGIC JOHNSON?
NO. KEITH JACKSON?
NO. ALL RIGHT.
THIS ONE IS FOR ALL THE CASH.
HERE WE GO, MARK. TAKE IT AWAY.
HE LOOKS AT THE BUCKET
AND... OH, MY GOODNESS!
OUT OF NOWHERE, TONYA HARDING,
CRANKED UP ON DOUGHNUTS AND CHEAP LIQUOR,
HAS CLUBBED MARK
JACKSON! [Yells]
[Yells] WHY? WHY? OW!
- [Laughing]
- ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪
♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪
- ♪ TAKE IT FROM ME
IT'S A'IGHT TO BE ♪
- HI-YAH!
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ AND HOW WOULD YA... HOW
WOULD YA... HOW WOULD YA F... ♪
♪ HOW WOULD YOU FEEL KNOWING
PREJUDICE WAS OBSOLETE ♪
♪ AND ALL MANKIND
DANCED TO THE EXACT BEAT ♪
[Echoing] ♪ AND AT NIGHT IT WAS
SAFE TO WALK DOWN THE STREET ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
[Turntable Scratching]
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪♪
[Laughing]
THAT'S ALL THE WAY TO THE AIRPORT.
COME ON. TIME'S A-WASTIN, JOSH.
LET'S MOVE IT. COME ON. THAT
STUFF... ALL RIGHT. NO, NO...
WAIT. NO. THAT STUFF STAYS HERE TILL
MR. EWING'S DONE WITH THE INTERVIEW.
GEEZ, GET IT TOGETHER, WILL
YA? MAN, IT SMELLS LIKE... [Indistinct]
HEY, BROTHER, WHAT'S UP?
EXCUSE ME, HOME PLATE. [Laughs]
NOW, DID I HEAR YOU
MENTION PATRICK EWING?
YES, THE NBA IS BAM-TASTIC.
WHO-WHO-WHO THE HECK ARE YOU GUYS?
THAT'S SO NICE OF YOU
TO ASK, HOME DEPOT.
I'M CLAVELL. AND
I'M HOWARD TIBBS III.
[Together] AND WE ARE FUNKY
FINGER FOOTWEAR. YOU DIG IT?
LET ME GIVE YOU ONE OF MY CARDS.
YOU KNOW, I'M FRESH OUT. HOWARD.
BAM! [Yells]
UH, THIS SAYS CALL
MISTRESS RAVEN AT 976-BUTT.
OH, THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND
SHEILA'S BUSINESS LINE.
MAN, ASK HER TO BANG ON THE
FIRE EXTINGUISHER FOUR TIMES.
THE FIRST 14 SECONDS
ARE FREE, MY MAN. OH.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO
TELL ME. LISTEN, UH, UH...
I DON'T WANNA BREAK THE BAD NEWS,
BUT IF YOU WANT MR. EWING'S AUTOGRAPH,
YOU GOTTA WAIT COURTSIDE
LIKE ALL THE OTHER FANS.
FANS? AU CONTRAIRE,
FRED ASTAIRE.
NOW, WE ARE "BIDNESS" MEN,
AND WE'RE HERE TO OFFER
MR. EWING A LUCRATIVE CONTRACT...
TO ENDORSE OUR NEW
LINE OF BASKETBALL SHOES.
HOWARD. BAM!
OH, LOOK OUT NOW. HO, HO, HO.
WATCH YOURSELF.
I THINK BIG MAN DONE
BROKE MY FOOT, MAN.
OH, THAT'S ALL
RIGHT NOW. [Laughing]
NOW, ARE YOU MR. EWING'S
"REPRESENTACION"?
UH, NO. I'M JUST THE
EQUIPMENT MANAGER, BIG DAVE.
UH, BUT, UH, I'LL TELL YOU GUYS.
MR. EWING HAS HIS OWN
SHOE COMPANY. [Laughs]
NO BIGGIE, HOMO SAPIEN. SEE,
'CAUSE HE GONNA CHANGE HIS TUNE...
WHEN HE SEES OUR DAZZLING
FUNKY FLIER TV COMMERCIAL...
IN ROUGH CUT FORM,
YOU UNDERSTAND.
HOWARD! ♪♪ [Scatting]
BAM!
I GOT A BAD HEART.
ALL RIGHT NOW.
YOU MIGHT WANNA CUT BACK
ON THE FATBURGERS. [Laughs]
ALL RIGHT, BUDROW.
KICK IT. HEY, BUDROW.
WE TRYING TO GET A FEW WORDS
WITH BASKETBALL STAR ISIAH THOMAS...
TO SEE WHY HE ONLY
WEARS THE FUNKY FLIER.
GO ON. GET SOME, BRO. MAN,
GET THAT CRAP OUTTA MY FACE.
MAN, HOW DOES HE DO THE THINGS
HE DOES? GOT TO BE THE SHOE.
GOT TO BE THE SHOE. HEY, MAN, I
HEAR RODMAN'S IN TROUBLE, MAN.
GO ON. TOUCH IT.
HOLD IT ONE TIME, MAN.
HEY, MAN, IT SMELLS
LIKE A DEAD, WET CHIA PET.
HEY MAN, WHAT'S
YOUR PROBLEM, MAN?
I'M NOT LAMBIER, MAN. I WILL KICK
MY FOOT OFF... COME ON. NOT HERE.
HEY, WATCH IT, WATCH
IT! LOOK OUT! SECURITY!
THANKS A LOT, GUYS.
IT'S PRETTY GOOD.
PRETTY DARN GOOD, IF
YOU ASK ME. THANK YOU, MAN.
YOU KNOW THAT'S
RIGHT. ALL UP IN THERE.
HEY, HEY, HEY, RED, HOLD
UP. HEY, BRO, WHAT'S UP?
NO, YOU AIN'T GOT ME LIKE THAT.
EWING, IS THIS YOU? AND
WHAT'S UP, MAN? [Laughs]
DO I LOOK LIKE EWING? I'M
JOHN STARKS. WHAT'S UP?
WHAT'S UP? THAT'S
WHAT I THOUGHT. UH...
ALL RIGHT NOW, BROTHER. GO
GET IT ON WITH YOU. OKAY NOW?
OKAY NOW. GOD
BLESS YOU. ALL RIGHT.
GUYS... PATRICK EWING!
WHAT'S UP, MAN? WHO? NICE TRY.
YOU'RE TOO SMALL.
I CAN HELP YOU OUT.
Y-Y-YOU GET HOME SAFE
NOW, BROTHER. [Coughing]
- THAT AIN'T HIM?
- HEY!
WHAT'S UP? YOU OUT HERE AGAIN.
MAN, IF ALL THREE OF Y'ALL
ROLLED UP, COME ON WITH IT.
WHAT'S UP, DAVE? OH, MAN!
MAN!
PATRICK EWING, WHAT'S UP, MAN?
HOW'S IT GOIN' UP THERE, MAN? DOOT!
WHAT FLOOR YOU
ON? HEY, NOW! [Laughs]
MAN, I'M HONORED, I'M
SURE. EXCUSE ME, BROTHER.
LOOK HERE. MY NAME'S CLAVELL.
AND I AM HOWARD TIBBS III, MAN.
EXCUSE ME. AND WE
NEED TO TALK "BIDNESS."
THANKS, GUYS, BUT I ALREADY
HAVE SOMEBODY TO WASH MY CAR.
OH, YOU WRONG
NOW. YOU WRONG NOW.
MAN, DON'T MAKE ME...
I'M JUST KIDDIN' WITH YOU.
NO. BUT FOR REAL, HOME
STRETCH, WE'RE HERE...
TO LET YOU IN ON THE GROUND FLOOR
OF THE NEXT FOOTWEAR REVOLUTION.
PRESENTING... GET
READY... THE FUNKY FLIER.
WATCH THE SKY HOOK. BAM!
GO ON, MAN! NOW, LOOK HERE.
WE WANT YOU TO BE OUR
CELEBRITY ENDORSER.
NOW, ALL WE NEED FROM
YOU IS A SLIGHT COMMITMENT.
A FEW HUNDRED THOUSAND
DOLLARS SEED MONEY.
CHECK WITH SHAQ.
HE DOES EVERYTHING.
HEY, MAN, THAT CAT
SHAQ IS A BAD MOTHER...
LOOK, I DON'T
HAVE TIME FOR THIS.
HEY, I GET YOUR STRATEGY, BIG
MAN. YOU HAVE TO HOLD UP, MAN.
NOW, LOOK HERE, HOMECOMING KING.
I KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. YOU WANNA
REPRESENT THE WHOLE ATHLETIC LINE.
I KNOW HE DOES. OUR FUNKY
FINGERS SWEATBANDS, TUBE SOCKS,
JOCKSTRAPS AND THE
PIÈCE DE RÉSISTANCE...
HOWARD! BAM!
FUNKY DRAWERS.
OKAY, BOZO, LET'S MOVE IT.
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!
BOXCAR WILLIE, IF
YOU DONE HARASS ME...
MAN, YOU BETTER GET YOUR
HANDS OFF ME. HEY, PATRICK!
♪ GIRL, LET ME SEE YOU
BOUNCE THAT, SHAKE THAT ♪
♪ MOVE THAT MAKE ME SPIN THAT ♪
♪ GIRL, I LOVE TO SEE YOU
BOUNCE THAT, MOVE THAT ♪
♪ YOU KNOW THAT I LIKE THAT ♪
♪ GIRL, LET ME SEE YOU
BOUNCE THAT, MOVE THAT ♪
♪ LET GO, WON'T GO, HIT THAT ♪
♪ GIRL, LET ME SEE
YOU BOUNCE THAT ♪
♪ GIRL, LET ME SEE
YOU BOUNCE THAT ♪
♪ GO AHEAD, MAMA LET IT
GO SHAKE WHAT YOU GOT ♪
♪ BEND OVER THERE AND
TOUCH TOE BREAK IT DOWN ♪
♪♪ [Continues, Indistinct]
♪ LET ME SEE YOU BOUNCE
THAT SHAKE THAT, MOVE THAT ♪
♪ MAKE ME SPIN THAT ♪
♪ GIRL, LET ME SEE YOU
BOUNCE THAT, MOVE THAT ♪
♪ YOU KNOW THAT I LIKE THAT ♪♪
GOOD EVENING, EVERYBODY.
I'M ROY FIRESTONE.
THE WHITE LEAGUE WAS
FORMED BACK IN THE LATE '50s...
BY A MAN NAMED ART
SCHANKER, HIMSELF A WHITE MAN,
WHO WANTED, AS HE PUT IT,
TO GIVE THE WHITE FELLAS...
AN EQUAL CHANCE TO PLAY IN A
GAME DOMINATED BY BLACK ATHLETES.
L.A. CLIPPERS'S FORWARD
DANNY MANNING REMEMBERS...
HEARING STORIES OF
THE WHITE PLAYERS.
OH, YEAH, I'VE HEARD SOME OF
THE OLD-TIMERS TALK ABOUT IT.
THERE WERE A LOT OF
THEM THAT WOULD TRY OUT,
BUT NONE OF THEM WERE EVER
ALLOWED TO PLAY IN THE NBA.
[Roy] IF THEY HADN'T BEEN WHITE, DO
YOU THINK THEY WOULD HAVE MADE IT?
UH, NO, BECAUSE THEY
BASICALLY SUCKED.
[Roy] HARLAND "BEEP BEEP"
WILLIAMS REMEMBERS THE PROBLEMS...
THAT BEING WHITE
CREATED ON THE ROAD.
THAT'S RIGHT. I WAS A BUS DRIVER
FOR THE LOUISVILLE CLOUDS FROM 1959,
I BELIEVE IT WAS, TO 1963.
YOU KNOW, WE'D STOP AT SOUL
FOOD PLACES. SEE WHAT I'M SAYING?
THEY JUST COULDN'T GO IN THE BACK
DOOR AND GET GREENS AND CHICKEN...
AND RIBS AND WHAT
HAVE YOU, YOU KNOW.
IT JUST WASN'T DONE BACK THEN, SO THEY
SENT ME IN THERE TO GET FOOD FOR EVERYBODY.
I'LL NEVER FORGET. THERE WAS THIS ONE
LADY WENT IN THERE AND GOT THE MANAGER,
COME OUT AND SAID, "YOU
GONNA EAT ALL THAT FOOD?"
I SAID, "YES I AM.
I'M HUNGRY." [Laughs]
BUT THE THING ABOUT IT, THAT'S
THE KINDA THING YOU HAD TO DO.
I MEAN, SHOOT, THEY COULDN'T
HELP IT FOR WHAT THEY WAS.
[Roy] SO WHEN YOU WATCH THE NBA
TODAY, DO YOU EVER THINK TO YOURSELF,
"I'D SURE LIKE TO SEE
BILLY 'THE KID' BATES...
OR BOBBY 'SNOWFLAKE'
ROGERS OUT THERE?
OH, NO, SIR. THEY PRETTY
MUCH SUCKED. ALL OF 'EM.
[Roy] STILL, THEY KEPT ON. TEAMS WITH
NAMES LIKE THE GAINESVILLE GHOSTS,
THE PHILADELPHIA
REALLY PALE GUYS...
AND, OF COURSE,
THE BOSTON CELTICS.
THE LEAGUE FINALLY
DISBANDED IN 1965.
VLADE DIVAC TELLS OF HIS DISAPPOINTMENT
WHEN HE ARRIVED IN THE U.S. IN 1989...
FROM WHAT WAS THEN YUGOSLAVIA.
WE DIDN'T GET THE NEWS THAT THE
WHITE LEAGUES WERE NO LONGER AROUND.
THE LAKERS WERE
MY SECOND CHOICE.
I HAD ALWAYS DREAMED OF
PLAYING FOR THE WILMINGTON WASPs.
[Roy] WAS THAT BECAUSE YOU ADMIRED
THE PLAYERS IN THE WHITE LEAGUE...
AND WANTED TO PLAY
ALONGSIDE THEM?
NO, IT WAS BECAUSE I KNEW I
COULD KICK THE HELL OUT OF THEM.
THEY REALLY SUCKED.
[Roy] JAMES WORTHY ACTUALLY REMEMBERS
SEEING THE JACKSONVILLE SWANS...
PLAY THE MEMPHIS
MARSHMALLOWS AS A SMALL CHILD.
THE MARSHMALLOWS HAD ONE GUY
I'LL NEVER FORGET... LONNY DUSTIN,
ONE OF THE UGLIEST DUDES
YOU EVER LAID EYES ON.
IF IT HADN'T BEEN FOR
LONNY AND GUYS LIKE HIM,
LARRY BIRD WOULD NEVER HAVE THE
COURAGE TO SHOW HIS FACE IN THE NBA.
[Roy] IF LONNY DUSTIN
WERE HERE TODAY,
WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO SAY TO THE
WORLD, "HERE, THIS MAN IS WHITE,
BUT HE STILL DESERVES A
CHANCE TO PLAY IN THE NBA"?
ACTUALLY, I'D BE A
LITTLE EMBARRASSED,
BECAUSE, AS YOU PROBABLY
KNOW, THEY PRETTY MUCH SUCKED.
THE WHITE LEAGUE... GUYS WITHOUT
MUCH TALENT OR INSPIRATION...
DOING WHAT THEY COULD TO
MAKE IT IN A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN.
A PAGE FROM A FORGOTTEN BOOK,
A CHAPTER IN AN UNTOLD STORY.
IN THE FINAL ANALYSIS, JUST A BUNCH
OF GUYS WHO... PRETTY MUCH SUCKED.
I'M ROY FIRESTONE,
UP CLOSE. GOOD NIGHT.
HI, I'M DEIDRE, AND I'D
LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU...
TO ONE OF OUR NEWEST
FLY GIRLS, LAURIE-ANN.
♪♪ [Hip-hop]
[Man] ♪ I'M ON FIRE, AND I
CAN'T CONTROL THIS FLAME ♪
♪ GOTTA STRIKE
WHEN THE IRON'S HOT ♪
♪♪ [Continues, Indistinct]
♪ THEY ALL WANT ME BUT THEY
DON'T EVEN KNOW MY NAME ♪
♪ 'CAUSE IT COMES AND
GOES AND YOU DON'T KNOW ♪
♪ IF THE LADY'S
GONNA FEEL THE SAME ♪
♪ I'M ON FIRE AND I CAN'T
CONTROL THIS FLAME ♪
[Woman] ♪ YOU GOT ME
SO HOT THAT I'M ON FIRE ♪
♪ BABY, CAN'T YOU FEEL IT TOO ♪
[Man] ♪ I KEEP DANCING MY WAY
'CAUSE I CAN FEEL YOUR DESIRE ♪
[Woman] ♪ BABY, TURN
ME ON AND LIGHT MY FIRE ♪
♪ COME ON, BABY DANCE UP ON ME ♪
[Man] ♪ BABY, TURN IT AROUND ♪♪
ALL RIGHT. LET'S KEEP IT
MOVIN'. THIS IS THE NBA.
WHERE YOU GOIN' SO FAST? THIS IS AN NBA
GAME. THIS AIN'T THE HARLEM GLOBETROTTERS.
YEAH, THIS AIN'T NO
MEADOWLARK LEMON. ALL RIGHT.
HEY, HEY, HEY, HOLD UP, HOLD
UP. HEY, HOLD UP, HOLD UP.
CRENSHAW CHEERLEADERS. YEAH.
C-C-CROSS COLORS. THAT'S
WHAT I'M SAYIN'. THE UH-HUH GIRLS.
COME ON. WE'RE THE LAKER
GIRLS, AND WE'RE RUNNING LATE.
HEY, I DON'T CARE IF
YOU SHAQ'S GIRL. [Laughs]
I DON'T CARE IF YOU
BARKLEY'S GIRL. [Laughs]
I DON'T CARE IF YOU B-B-BATGIRL.
- WE HAVE A JOB TO DO.
- HOLD ON, BARBIE.
HEY, HEY, HOLD UP.
Y'ALL SUPPOSED TO BE THE CHEERLEADERS.
GO IN THEM LITTLE TIGHT THINGS,
ALL, YOU KNOW,
POM-POMS, TALKIN' ABOUT...
♪♪ [Beatboxing]
LET'S LEAVE TINKER BELL
AND PETER PAN ALONE.
BUT WE DON'T LOVE THEM.
AND YOU AIN'T PATRICK. HEY,
HOLD UP, MAN. WHO ARE YOU, MAN?
HEY, GUYS, I'M THE SAN
BERNARDINO CHICKEN. MAN, YOU...
[Shouting]
HEY, MAN. HOLD UP, MAN.
HEY, HOLD UP, UH...
SHORTY. WEBSTER.
HOW YOU FELLAS DOIN'?
I'M KAREEM ABDUL-JABBAR.
OHH! WHOO! [Laughing]
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
AND I'M VLADE DIVAC.
- SO, YOU THE FORMER
LAKER STAR, HUH?
- THAT'S RIGHT.
HEY, SO, YOU THE ONE
THAT FOUGHT BRUCE LEE,
AND YOUSE HAD AN AFRO
AND THAT WHOLE THING?
H-HAD AN AFRO LOOKED LIKE A Q-TIP.
BRUCE LEE WHIPPED YOUR ASS, DIDN'T HE?
[Karate Yells]
YEAH, WELL, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. YOU
THE MASTER OF THE SKY HOOK, RIGHT?
- THAT'S RIGHT.
- SO I DON'T THINK THAT'S RIGHT.
I THINK THAT'S WRONG, 'CAUSE I DON'T
THINK YOU'RE KAREEM ABDUL-JABBAR.
AS A MATTER OF FACT, I DON'T
THINK YOU'RE CREAM OF WHEAT.
YEAH. [Laughing]
O-O-ONLY M-MAGIC YOU
KNOW IS SIEGFRIED AND ROY...
SIG... SIG... THEM WHITE BOYS.
LISTEN HERE, REN AND STIMPY.
WOULD YOU JUST GET OUT OF MY WAY?
I'D BE HAPPY TO, EXCEPT I DON'T
THINK YOU'RE KAREEM. OH, MAN!
AS A MATTER OF FACT, I THINK
YOU'RE BUSHWICK BILL ON STILTS.
YEAH, I-I-I'LL KN-KNOCK
YOUR EYE OUT.
I SUGGEST THAT YOU
GET OUT OF MY WAY...
BEFORE I SKY HOOK YOUR
ASS ACROSS THE PARKING LOT.
OH, OH, OH! IT'S
ON! IT'S ON! [Shouting]
[Karate Yells]
HEY, IS THERE A
PROBLEM HERE, KAREEM?
IS THAT REALLY KAREEM... THAT
BE YOUR PROBLEM RIGHT THERE.
WELL, IT AIN'T REALLY
NO PROBLEM, YOU KNOW.
I WAS JUST TRYIN' TO HELP
MR. JABBAR GET ON BACK THERE.
YOU'RE LUCKY I MADE IT.
Y-Y-Y-YOU L-LUCKY HE'S
GOT A HUMBLE HEART.
YOU-YOU LUCKY
B-BARKLEY AIN'T HERE.
YOU... YOU JUST LUCKY.
I'M ALL RIGHT, MAN. ALL RIGHT.
TELL YOU WHAT. I'M GONNA
PLAY ONE-ON-ONE WITH MY FOOT.
MAN, DON'T DO THAT. LET'S
JUST PLAY SOME NINTENDO.
[Imitating Game Beeping]
YEAH. ALL RIGHT. WE'D LIKE...
WE'D LIKE TO THANK ALL OUR NBA
STARS FOR HELPING US OUT THIS WEEK.
AND HERE, TAKIN' US ON
OUT, IS SHAQUILLE O'NEAL.
HI. LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHIN'.
I'M FIRE MARSHALL SHAQ.
I'M SUPPOSED TO BE INTRODUCING
SOME GUY NAMED SHAQUILLE O'NEAL.
YOU EVER HEARD
OF HIM? ME NEITHER.
NEXT WEEK, YOU CAN CHECK HIM
OUT IN HIS MOVIE CALLED BLUE CHIPS.
[Laughs] BUT RIGHT NOW, I WANT YOU TO
CHECK OUT HIS VIDEO, "I'M OUTSTANDING."
[Laughs] I'M OUTSTANDING
TOO. [Laughs]
[Sighs]
♪♪ [Hip-Hop]
♪ I WAS BORN 3-6-'72 I
THINK IT'S ON A WEDNESDAY ♪
♪ HAIL TO THE MOON
JUST LIKE KUNTA KINTE ♪
♪ THAT MEANS I'M ROUGH FROM THE
GET-GO MOMS, YOU NEVER LET GO ♪
♪ DAD, THANKS FOR
RAISIN' ME RIGHT, BRO ♪
♪ YOU GAVE ME CONFIDENCE
TO STOP THE NONSENSE ♪
♪ DIDN'T LIVE IN BEL AIRE
LIKE THE FRESH PRINCE ♪
♪ TIMES ARE HARD
TIMES ARE ROUGH ♪
♪ DIDN'T HAVE TOYS "R" US
TOYS BUT I HAD ENOUGH LOVE ♪
♪ PLUS THE GUIDANCE FROM ABOVE ♪
♪ TO GO THE PARK
SWEATIN', PUSH AND SHOVE ♪
♪ MADE IT IN BEFORE
DARK LIKE YOU TOLD ME ♪
♪ THEN THERE WERE A FEW TIMES
WHEN DAD HAD TO SCOLD ME ♪
♪ PRAYED FOR MY SAFETY I
KNOW HOW YOU WAS FEELIN' ♪
♪ DIDN'T WANT ME WHEELIN'
AND INTO DRUG DEALIN' ♪
♪ REMEMBER WHEN YOU
ASKED ME THIS ONE DAY ♪
♪ WHO I WANNA BE
LIKE I SAID, DR. J. ♪
♪ THEN YOU SAID, GOOD
NOW YOU GOTTA GO ♪
♪ TAKE THE DAMN BALL AND
SLAM IT THROUGH THE HOLE ♪
♪ MOM CRACKED A SMILE
DADDY GAVE A FROWN ♪
♪ I SAID TO MYSELF I
CAN'T LET THEM DOWN ♪
♪ SO MAKE WAY I'M
COMIN' IN FOR A LANDING ♪
♪ NOTHING'S GONNA STOP
ME FROM BEING OUTSTANDING ♪
♪ I'M OUTSTANDING ♪♪
PREPARES TO SHOOT.
HE EYES THE HOOP.
THE BALL IS UP.
AND IT'S GOOD! HE DOES IT! THAT'S
49 CONSECUTIVE FREE THROWS.
FORTY-NINE IN A ROW.
MARK'S GOING FOR 50 STRAIGHT.
- MARK, UH, HOW DO YOU FEEL?
- GET YOUR CHECKBOOK READY.
I'M ONE SHOT AWAY FROM PAYDAY.
THE SCENE: CLIPPERS'S
PRACTICE. THE CHALLENGE:
CAN MARK JACKSON SINK 50
CONSECUTIVE FREE THROWS?
THE WAGER: $5,000. MARK,
HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
LOOSE.
ANY TRUTH TO THE RUMOR THAT MICHAEL
JORDAN HAS A PIECE OF THE ACTION TODAY?
NO. MICHAEL JACKSON?
NO. PETE ROSE?
NO. M-MAGIC JOHNSON?
NO. KEITH JACKSON?
NO. ALL RIGHT.
THIS ONE IS FOR ALL THE CASH.
HERE WE GO, MARK. TAKE IT AWAY.
HE LOOKS AT THE BUCKET
AND... OH, MY GOODNESS!
OUT OF NOWHERE, TONYA HARDING,
CRANKED UP ON DOUGHNUTS AND CHEAP LIQUOR,
HAS CLUBBED MARK
JACKSON! [Yells]
[Yells] WHY? WHY? OW!
- [Laughing]
- ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪
♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪
- ♪ TAKE IT FROM ME
IT'S A'IGHT TO BE ♪
- HI-YAH!
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ AND HOW WOULD YA... HOW
WOULD YA... HOW WOULD YA F... ♪
♪ HOW WOULD YOU FEEL KNOWING
PREJUDICE WAS OBSOLETE ♪
♪ AND ALL MANKIND
DANCED TO THE EXACT BEAT ♪
[Echoing] ♪ AND AT NIGHT IT WAS
SAFE TO WALK DOWN THE STREET ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
[Turntable Scratching]
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪♪
[Laughing]
THAT'S ALL THE WAY TO THE AIRPORT.
COME ON. TIME'S A-WASTIN, JOSH.
LET'S MOVE IT. COME ON. THAT
STUFF... ALL RIGHT. NO, NO...
WAIT. NO. THAT STUFF STAYS HERE TILL
MR. EWING'S DONE WITH THE INTERVIEW.
GEEZ, GET IT TOGETHER, WILL
YA? MAN, IT SMELLS LIKE... [Indistinct]
HEY, BROTHER, WHAT'S UP?
EXCUSE ME, HOME PLATE. [Laughs]
NOW, DID I HEAR YOU
MENTION PATRICK EWING?
YES, THE NBA IS BAM-TASTIC.
WHO-WHO-WHO THE HECK ARE YOU GUYS?
THAT'S SO NICE OF YOU
TO ASK, HOME DEPOT.
I'M CLAVELL. AND
I'M HOWARD TIBBS III.
[Together] AND WE ARE FUNKY
FINGER FOOTWEAR. YOU DIG IT?
LET ME GIVE YOU ONE OF MY CARDS.
YOU KNOW, I'M FRESH OUT. HOWARD.
BAM! [Yells]
UH, THIS SAYS CALL
MISTRESS RAVEN AT 976-BUTT.
OH, THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND
SHEILA'S BUSINESS LINE.
MAN, ASK HER TO BANG ON THE
FIRE EXTINGUISHER FOUR TIMES.
THE FIRST 14 SECONDS
ARE FREE, MY MAN. OH.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO
TELL ME. LISTEN, UH, UH...
I DON'T WANNA BREAK THE BAD NEWS,
BUT IF YOU WANT MR. EWING'S AUTOGRAPH,
YOU GOTTA WAIT COURTSIDE
LIKE ALL THE OTHER FANS.
FANS? AU CONTRAIRE,
FRED ASTAIRE.
NOW, WE ARE "BIDNESS" MEN,
AND WE'RE HERE TO OFFER
MR. EWING A LUCRATIVE CONTRACT...
TO ENDORSE OUR NEW
LINE OF BASKETBALL SHOES.
HOWARD. BAM!
OH, LOOK OUT NOW. HO, HO, HO.
WATCH YOURSELF.
I THINK BIG MAN DONE
BROKE MY FOOT, MAN.
OH, THAT'S ALL
RIGHT NOW. [Laughing]
NOW, ARE YOU MR. EWING'S
"REPRESENTACION"?
UH, NO. I'M JUST THE
EQUIPMENT MANAGER, BIG DAVE.
UH, BUT, UH, I'LL TELL YOU GUYS.
MR. EWING HAS HIS OWN
SHOE COMPANY. [Laughs]
NO BIGGIE, HOMO SAPIEN. SEE,
'CAUSE HE GONNA CHANGE HIS TUNE...
WHEN HE SEES OUR DAZZLING
FUNKY FLIER TV COMMERCIAL...
IN ROUGH CUT FORM,
YOU UNDERSTAND.
HOWARD! ♪♪ [Scatting]
BAM!
I GOT A BAD HEART.
ALL RIGHT NOW.
YOU MIGHT WANNA CUT BACK
ON THE FATBURGERS. [Laughs]
ALL RIGHT, BUDROW.
KICK IT. HEY, BUDROW.
WE TRYING TO GET A FEW WORDS
WITH BASKETBALL STAR ISIAH THOMAS...
TO SEE WHY HE ONLY
WEARS THE FUNKY FLIER.
GO ON. GET SOME, BRO. MAN,
GET THAT CRAP OUTTA MY FACE.
MAN, HOW DOES HE DO THE THINGS
HE DOES? GOT TO BE THE SHOE.
GOT TO BE THE SHOE. HEY, MAN, I
HEAR RODMAN'S IN TROUBLE, MAN.
GO ON. TOUCH IT.
HOLD IT ONE TIME, MAN.
HEY, MAN, IT SMELLS
LIKE A DEAD, WET CHIA PET.
HEY MAN, WHAT'S
YOUR PROBLEM, MAN?
I'M NOT LAMBIER, MAN. I WILL KICK
MY FOOT OFF... COME ON. NOT HERE.
HEY, WATCH IT, WATCH
IT! LOOK OUT! SECURITY!
THANKS A LOT, GUYS.
IT'S PRETTY GOOD.
PRETTY DARN GOOD, IF
YOU ASK ME. THANK YOU, MAN.
YOU KNOW THAT'S
RIGHT. ALL UP IN THERE.
HEY, HEY, HEY, RED, HOLD
UP. HEY, BRO, WHAT'S UP?
NO, YOU AIN'T GOT ME LIKE THAT.
EWING, IS THIS YOU? AND
WHAT'S UP, MAN? [Laughs]
DO I LOOK LIKE EWING? I'M
JOHN STARKS. WHAT'S UP?
WHAT'S UP? THAT'S
WHAT I THOUGHT. UH...
ALL RIGHT NOW, BROTHER. GO
GET IT ON WITH YOU. OKAY NOW?
OKAY NOW. GOD
BLESS YOU. ALL RIGHT.
GUYS... PATRICK EWING!
WHAT'S UP, MAN? WHO? NICE TRY.
YOU'RE TOO SMALL.
I CAN HELP YOU OUT.
Y-Y-YOU GET HOME SAFE
NOW, BROTHER. [Coughing]
- THAT AIN'T HIM?
- HEY!
WHAT'S UP? YOU OUT HERE AGAIN.
MAN, IF ALL THREE OF Y'ALL
ROLLED UP, COME ON WITH IT.
WHAT'S UP, DAVE? OH, MAN!
MAN!
PATRICK EWING, WHAT'S UP, MAN?
HOW'S IT GOIN' UP THERE, MAN? DOOT!
WHAT FLOOR YOU
ON? HEY, NOW! [Laughs]
MAN, I'M HONORED, I'M
SURE. EXCUSE ME, BROTHER.
LOOK HERE. MY NAME'S CLAVELL.
AND I AM HOWARD TIBBS III, MAN.
EXCUSE ME. AND WE
NEED TO TALK "BIDNESS."
THANKS, GUYS, BUT I ALREADY
HAVE SOMEBODY TO WASH MY CAR.
OH, YOU WRONG
NOW. YOU WRONG NOW.
MAN, DON'T MAKE ME...
I'M JUST KIDDIN' WITH YOU.
NO. BUT FOR REAL, HOME
STRETCH, WE'RE HERE...
TO LET YOU IN ON THE GROUND FLOOR
OF THE NEXT FOOTWEAR REVOLUTION.
PRESENTING... GET
READY... THE FUNKY FLIER.
WATCH THE SKY HOOK. BAM!
GO ON, MAN! NOW, LOOK HERE.
WE WANT YOU TO BE OUR
CELEBRITY ENDORSER.
NOW, ALL WE NEED FROM
YOU IS A SLIGHT COMMITMENT.
A FEW HUNDRED THOUSAND
DOLLARS SEED MONEY.
CHECK WITH SHAQ.
HE DOES EVERYTHING.
HEY, MAN, THAT CAT
SHAQ IS A BAD MOTHER...
LOOK, I DON'T
HAVE TIME FOR THIS.
HEY, I GET YOUR STRATEGY, BIG
MAN. YOU HAVE TO HOLD UP, MAN.
NOW, LOOK HERE, HOMECOMING KING.
I KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. YOU WANNA
REPRESENT THE WHOLE ATHLETIC LINE.
I KNOW HE DOES. OUR FUNKY
FINGERS SWEATBANDS, TUBE SOCKS,
JOCKSTRAPS AND THE
PIÈCE DE RÉSISTANCE...
HOWARD! BAM!
FUNKY DRAWERS.
OKAY, BOZO, LET'S MOVE IT.
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!
BOXCAR WILLIE, IF
YOU DONE HARASS ME...
MAN, YOU BETTER GET YOUR
HANDS OFF ME. HEY, PATRICK!
♪ GIRL, LET ME SEE YOU
BOUNCE THAT, SHAKE THAT ♪
♪ MOVE THAT MAKE ME SPIN THAT ♪
♪ GIRL, I LOVE TO SEE YOU
BOUNCE THAT, MOVE THAT ♪
♪ YOU KNOW THAT I LIKE THAT ♪
♪ GIRL, LET ME SEE YOU
BOUNCE THAT, MOVE THAT ♪
♪ LET GO, WON'T GO, HIT THAT ♪
♪ GIRL, LET ME SEE
YOU BOUNCE THAT ♪
♪ GIRL, LET ME SEE
YOU BOUNCE THAT ♪
♪ GO AHEAD, MAMA LET IT
GO SHAKE WHAT YOU GOT ♪
♪ BEND OVER THERE AND
TOUCH TOE BREAK IT DOWN ♪
♪♪ [Continues, Indistinct]
♪ LET ME SEE YOU BOUNCE
THAT SHAKE THAT, MOVE THAT ♪
♪ MAKE ME SPIN THAT ♪
♪ GIRL, LET ME SEE YOU
BOUNCE THAT, MOVE THAT ♪
♪ YOU KNOW THAT I LIKE THAT ♪♪
GOOD EVENING, EVERYBODY.
I'M ROY FIRESTONE.
THE WHITE LEAGUE WAS
FORMED BACK IN THE LATE '50s...
BY A MAN NAMED ART
SCHANKER, HIMSELF A WHITE MAN,
WHO WANTED, AS HE PUT IT,
TO GIVE THE WHITE FELLAS...
AN EQUAL CHANCE TO PLAY IN A
GAME DOMINATED BY BLACK ATHLETES.
L.A. CLIPPERS'S FORWARD
DANNY MANNING REMEMBERS...
HEARING STORIES OF
THE WHITE PLAYERS.
OH, YEAH, I'VE HEARD SOME OF
THE OLD-TIMERS TALK ABOUT IT.
THERE WERE A LOT OF
THEM THAT WOULD TRY OUT,
BUT NONE OF THEM WERE EVER
ALLOWED TO PLAY IN THE NBA.
[Roy] IF THEY HADN'T BEEN WHITE, DO
YOU THINK THEY WOULD HAVE MADE IT?
UH, NO, BECAUSE THEY
BASICALLY SUCKED.
[Roy] HARLAND "BEEP BEEP"
WILLIAMS REMEMBERS THE PROBLEMS...
THAT BEING WHITE
CREATED ON THE ROAD.
THAT'S RIGHT. I WAS A BUS DRIVER
FOR THE LOUISVILLE CLOUDS FROM 1959,
I BELIEVE IT WAS, TO 1963.
YOU KNOW, WE'D STOP AT SOUL
FOOD PLACES. SEE WHAT I'M SAYING?
THEY JUST COULDN'T GO IN THE BACK
DOOR AND GET GREENS AND CHICKEN...
AND RIBS AND WHAT
HAVE YOU, YOU KNOW.
IT JUST WASN'T DONE BACK THEN, SO THEY
SENT ME IN THERE TO GET FOOD FOR EVERYBODY.
I'LL NEVER FORGET. THERE WAS THIS ONE
LADY WENT IN THERE AND GOT THE MANAGER,
COME OUT AND SAID, "YOU
GONNA EAT ALL THAT FOOD?"
I SAID, "YES I AM.
I'M HUNGRY." [Laughs]
BUT THE THING ABOUT IT, THAT'S
THE KINDA THING YOU HAD TO DO.
I MEAN, SHOOT, THEY COULDN'T
HELP IT FOR WHAT THEY WAS.
[Roy] SO WHEN YOU WATCH THE NBA
TODAY, DO YOU EVER THINK TO YOURSELF,
"I'D SURE LIKE TO SEE
BILLY 'THE KID' BATES...
OR BOBBY 'SNOWFLAKE'
ROGERS OUT THERE?
OH, NO, SIR. THEY PRETTY
MUCH SUCKED. ALL OF 'EM.
[Roy] STILL, THEY KEPT ON. TEAMS WITH
NAMES LIKE THE GAINESVILLE GHOSTS,
THE PHILADELPHIA
REALLY PALE GUYS...
AND, OF COURSE,
THE BOSTON CELTICS.
THE LEAGUE FINALLY
DISBANDED IN 1965.
VLADE DIVAC TELLS OF HIS DISAPPOINTMENT
WHEN HE ARRIVED IN THE U.S. IN 1989...
FROM WHAT WAS THEN YUGOSLAVIA.
WE DIDN'T GET THE NEWS THAT THE
WHITE LEAGUES WERE NO LONGER AROUND.
THE LAKERS WERE
MY SECOND CHOICE.
I HAD ALWAYS DREAMED OF
PLAYING FOR THE WILMINGTON WASPs.
[Roy] WAS THAT BECAUSE YOU ADMIRED
THE PLAYERS IN THE WHITE LEAGUE...
AND WANTED TO PLAY
ALONGSIDE THEM?
NO, IT WAS BECAUSE I KNEW I
COULD KICK THE HELL OUT OF THEM.
THEY REALLY SUCKED.
[Roy] JAMES WORTHY ACTUALLY REMEMBERS
SEEING THE JACKSONVILLE SWANS...
PLAY THE MEMPHIS
MARSHMALLOWS AS A SMALL CHILD.
THE MARSHMALLOWS HAD ONE GUY
I'LL NEVER FORGET... LONNY DUSTIN,
ONE OF THE UGLIEST DUDES
YOU EVER LAID EYES ON.
IF IT HADN'T BEEN FOR
LONNY AND GUYS LIKE HIM,
LARRY BIRD WOULD NEVER HAVE THE
COURAGE TO SHOW HIS FACE IN THE NBA.
[Roy] IF LONNY DUSTIN
WERE HERE TODAY,
WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO SAY TO THE
WORLD, "HERE, THIS MAN IS WHITE,
BUT HE STILL DESERVES A
CHANCE TO PLAY IN THE NBA"?
ACTUALLY, I'D BE A
LITTLE EMBARRASSED,
BECAUSE, AS YOU PROBABLY
KNOW, THEY PRETTY MUCH SUCKED.
THE WHITE LEAGUE... GUYS WITHOUT
MUCH TALENT OR INSPIRATION...
DOING WHAT THEY COULD TO
MAKE IT IN A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN.
A PAGE FROM A FORGOTTEN BOOK,
A CHAPTER IN AN UNTOLD STORY.
IN THE FINAL ANALYSIS, JUST A BUNCH
OF GUYS WHO... PRETTY MUCH SUCKED.
I'M ROY FIRESTONE,
UP CLOSE. GOOD NIGHT.
HI, I'M DEIDRE, AND I'D
LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU...
TO ONE OF OUR NEWEST
FLY GIRLS, LAURIE-ANN.
♪♪ [Hip-hop]
[Man] ♪ I'M ON FIRE, AND I
CAN'T CONTROL THIS FLAME ♪
♪ GOTTA STRIKE
WHEN THE IRON'S HOT ♪
♪♪ [Continues, Indistinct]
♪ THEY ALL WANT ME BUT THEY
DON'T EVEN KNOW MY NAME ♪
♪ 'CAUSE IT COMES AND
GOES AND YOU DON'T KNOW ♪
♪ IF THE LADY'S
GONNA FEEL THE SAME ♪
♪ I'M ON FIRE AND I CAN'T
CONTROL THIS FLAME ♪
[Woman] ♪ YOU GOT ME
SO HOT THAT I'M ON FIRE ♪
♪ BABY, CAN'T YOU FEEL IT TOO ♪
[Man] ♪ I KEEP DANCING MY WAY
'CAUSE I CAN FEEL YOUR DESIRE ♪
[Woman] ♪ BABY, TURN
ME ON AND LIGHT MY FIRE ♪
♪ COME ON, BABY DANCE UP ON ME ♪
[Man] ♪ BABY, TURN IT AROUND ♪♪
ALL RIGHT. LET'S KEEP IT
MOVIN'. THIS IS THE NBA.
WHERE YOU GOIN' SO FAST? THIS IS AN NBA
GAME. THIS AIN'T THE HARLEM GLOBETROTTERS.
YEAH, THIS AIN'T NO
MEADOWLARK LEMON. ALL RIGHT.
HEY, HEY, HEY, HOLD UP, HOLD
UP. HEY, HOLD UP, HOLD UP.
CRENSHAW CHEERLEADERS. YEAH.
C-C-CROSS COLORS. THAT'S
WHAT I'M SAYIN'. THE UH-HUH GIRLS.
COME ON. WE'RE THE LAKER
GIRLS, AND WE'RE RUNNING LATE.
HEY, I DON'T CARE IF
YOU SHAQ'S GIRL. [Laughs]
I DON'T CARE IF YOU
BARKLEY'S GIRL. [Laughs]
I DON'T CARE IF YOU B-B-BATGIRL.
- WE HAVE A JOB TO DO.
- HOLD ON, BARBIE.
HEY, HEY, HOLD UP.
Y'ALL SUPPOSED TO BE THE CHEERLEADERS.
GO IN THEM LITTLE TIGHT THINGS,
ALL, YOU KNOW,
POM-POMS, TALKIN' ABOUT...
♪♪ [Beatboxing]
LET'S LEAVE TINKER BELL
AND PETER PAN ALONE.
BUT WE DON'T LOVE THEM.
AND YOU AIN'T PATRICK. HEY,
HOLD UP, MAN. WHO ARE YOU, MAN?
HEY, GUYS, I'M THE SAN
BERNARDINO CHICKEN. MAN, YOU...
[Shouting]
HEY, MAN. HOLD UP, MAN.
HEY, HOLD UP, UH...
SHORTY. WEBSTER.
HOW YOU FELLAS DOIN'?
I'M KAREEM ABDUL-JABBAR.
OHH! WHOO! [Laughing]
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
AND I'M VLADE DIVAC.
- SO, YOU THE FORMER
LAKER STAR, HUH?
- THAT'S RIGHT.
HEY, SO, YOU THE ONE
THAT FOUGHT BRUCE LEE,
AND YOUSE HAD AN AFRO
AND THAT WHOLE THING?
H-HAD AN AFRO LOOKED LIKE A Q-TIP.
BRUCE LEE WHIPPED YOUR ASS, DIDN'T HE?
[Karate Yells]
YEAH, WELL, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. YOU
THE MASTER OF THE SKY HOOK, RIGHT?
- THAT'S RIGHT.
- SO I DON'T THINK THAT'S RIGHT.
I THINK THAT'S WRONG, 'CAUSE I DON'T
THINK YOU'RE KAREEM ABDUL-JABBAR.
AS A MATTER OF FACT, I DON'T
THINK YOU'RE CREAM OF WHEAT.
YEAH. [Laughing]
O-O-ONLY M-MAGIC YOU
KNOW IS SIEGFRIED AND ROY...
SIG... SIG... THEM WHITE BOYS.
LISTEN HERE, REN AND STIMPY.
WOULD YOU JUST GET OUT OF MY WAY?
I'D BE HAPPY TO, EXCEPT I DON'T
THINK YOU'RE KAREEM. OH, MAN!
AS A MATTER OF FACT, I THINK
YOU'RE BUSHWICK BILL ON STILTS.
YEAH, I-I-I'LL KN-KNOCK
YOUR EYE OUT.
I SUGGEST THAT YOU
GET OUT OF MY WAY...
BEFORE I SKY HOOK YOUR
ASS ACROSS THE PARKING LOT.
OH, OH, OH! IT'S
ON! IT'S ON! [Shouting]
[Karate Yells]
HEY, IS THERE A
PROBLEM HERE, KAREEM?
IS THAT REALLY KAREEM... THAT
BE YOUR PROBLEM RIGHT THERE.
WELL, IT AIN'T REALLY
NO PROBLEM, YOU KNOW.
I WAS JUST TRYIN' TO HELP
MR. JABBAR GET ON BACK THERE.
YOU'RE LUCKY I MADE IT.
Y-Y-Y-YOU L-LUCKY HE'S
GOT A HUMBLE HEART.
YOU-YOU LUCKY
B-BARKLEY AIN'T HERE.
YOU... YOU JUST LUCKY.
I'M ALL RIGHT, MAN. ALL RIGHT.
TELL YOU WHAT. I'M GONNA
PLAY ONE-ON-ONE WITH MY FOOT.
MAN, DON'T DO THAT. LET'S
JUST PLAY SOME NINTENDO.
[Imitating Game Beeping]
YEAH. ALL RIGHT. WE'D LIKE...
WE'D LIKE TO THANK ALL OUR NBA
STARS FOR HELPING US OUT THIS WEEK.
AND HERE, TAKIN' US ON
OUT, IS SHAQUILLE O'NEAL.
HI. LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHIN'.
I'M FIRE MARSHALL SHAQ.
I'M SUPPOSED TO BE INTRODUCING
SOME GUY NAMED SHAQUILLE O'NEAL.
YOU EVER HEARD
OF HIM? ME NEITHER.
NEXT WEEK, YOU CAN CHECK HIM
OUT IN HIS MOVIE CALLED BLUE CHIPS.
[Laughs] BUT RIGHT NOW, I WANT YOU TO
CHECK OUT HIS VIDEO, "I'M OUTSTANDING."
[Laughs] I'M OUTSTANDING
TOO. [Laughs]
[Sighs]
♪♪ [Hip-Hop]
♪ I WAS BORN 3-6-'72 I
THINK IT'S ON A WEDNESDAY ♪
♪ HAIL TO THE MOON
JUST LIKE KUNTA KINTE ♪
♪ THAT MEANS I'M ROUGH FROM THE
GET-GO MOMS, YOU NEVER LET GO ♪
♪ DAD, THANKS FOR
RAISIN' ME RIGHT, BRO ♪
♪ YOU GAVE ME CONFIDENCE
TO STOP THE NONSENSE ♪
♪ DIDN'T LIVE IN BEL AIRE
LIKE THE FRESH PRINCE ♪
♪ TIMES ARE HARD
TIMES ARE ROUGH ♪
♪ DIDN'T HAVE TOYS "R" US
TOYS BUT I HAD ENOUGH LOVE ♪
♪ PLUS THE GUIDANCE FROM ABOVE ♪
♪ TO GO THE PARK
SWEATIN', PUSH AND SHOVE ♪
♪ MADE IT IN BEFORE
DARK LIKE YOU TOLD ME ♪
♪ THEN THERE WERE A FEW TIMES
WHEN DAD HAD TO SCOLD ME ♪
♪ PRAYED FOR MY SAFETY I
KNOW HOW YOU WAS FEELIN' ♪
♪ DIDN'T WANT ME WHEELIN'
AND INTO DRUG DEALIN' ♪
♪ REMEMBER WHEN YOU
ASKED ME THIS ONE DAY ♪
♪ WHO I WANNA BE
LIKE I SAID, DR. J. ♪
♪ THEN YOU SAID, GOOD
NOW YOU GOTTA GO ♪
♪ TAKE THE DAMN BALL AND
SLAM IT THROUGH THE HOLE ♪
♪ MOM CRACKED A SMILE
DADDY GAVE A FROWN ♪
♪ I SAID TO MYSELF I
CAN'T LET THEM DOWN ♪
♪ SO MAKE WAY I'M
COMIN' IN FOR A LANDING ♪
♪ NOTHING'S GONNA STOP
ME FROM BEING OUTSTANDING ♪
♪ I'M OUTSTANDING ♪♪