In Living Color (1990–1994): Season 5, Episode 15 - East Hollywood Squares - full transcript
- [Laughing]
- ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪
♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪
- ♪ TAKE IT FROM ME
IT'S A'IGHT TO BE ♪
- HI-YAH!
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ AND HOW WOULD YA... HOW
WOULD YA... HOW WOULD YA F... ♪
♪ HOW WOULD YOU FEEL KNOWING
PREJUDICE WAS OBSOLETE ♪
♪ AND ALL MANKIND
DANCED TO THE EXACT BEAT ♪
[Echoing] ♪ AND AT NIGHT IT WAS
SAFE TO WALK DOWN THE STREET ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
[Turntable Scratching]
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪♪
[Laughing]
[Chattering]
WE NEED A TABLE FOR TWO.
IT'S GONNA BE A FEW MINUTES.
MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO SIT AT THE BAR.
OOH, THAT'S PERFECT.
PETEY, THIS PLACE IS LOVELY.
AIN'T NOTHIN' TOO
NICE FOR YOU, TRACY.
ALL RIGHT. CAN I GET YOU BEAUTIFUL
PEOPLE SOMETHING TO DRINK?
- WHAT DO YOU RECOMMEND?
- UH, HOW ABOUT A BLACK RUSSIAN?
HOW MUCH IS THAT?
THAT'LL BE FIVE DOLLARS.
FIVE DOLLARS! GOOD LORD,
THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY.
HOW ABOUT I GIVE YOU 49 CENTS,
YOU GIVE ME A LIGHT-SKINNED
GIRL FROM MOSCOW?
[Chuckles] I CAN'T DO THAT, MAN.
OKAY, UH... UH,
WHAT ELSE YOU GOT?
UH, WE HAVE A WONDERFUL
HOUSE WINE. [Gasps]
HOW MUCH IS THAT?
FOUR DOLLARS A GLASS.
FOUR DOLLARS A GLASS!
GOOD LORD, THAT'S A LOT OF...
THAT COST MORE THAN MY HOUSE.
HOW ABOUT I GIVE YOU
ABOUT, UH, 49 CENTS,
YOU KEEP THE HOUSE WINE AND BRING
ME SOME OF THAT PROJECT PUNCH?
WHY DON'T I GET YOU
TWO BOTTLES OF SNAPPLE?
ALL RIGHT. ONE
BOTTLE, TWO STRAWS.
I LOVE SNAPPLE.
UH, GEE, HONEY, WHAT DO
YOU WANT TO DO AFTER DINNER?
I HEAR THERE'S A GREAT NEW
DETECTIVE FILM AT THE CINEPLEX.
HOW MUCH IT COST FOR TWO
TICKETS AND SOME POPCORN?
UH, $17. SEVENTEEN DOLLARS!
GOOD LORD!
YOU KNOW, HOW ABOUT WE GO TO MY
MAMA'S HOUSE AND WATCH BARNABY JONES?
I KNOW, HONEY. WHY DON'T
WE JUST GO BACK TO MY PLACE,
TURN THE LIGHTS DOWN
LOW AND WATCH A VIDEO?
HOW MUCH IS THAT?
I RENTED ONE ALREADY. IT'S FREE.
FREE? GOOD LORD,
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
EXCUSE ME, SIR.
YOUR TABLE'S READY.
HONEY, YOU JUST GO
ALONG. I'LL BE A MINUTE, OKAY?
HEY, FELLA. FELLA.
YOU GOT A CONDOM MACHINE
IN THAT THERE BATHROOM?
YEAH, WE DO. ALL
RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
HOW MUCH... HOW MUCH FOR A
LUBRICATED CONDOM? ONE DOLLAR.
ONE DOLLAR! ALL
RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
HOW MUCH FOR ONE
WITH NO LUBRICATION?
STILL A DOLLAR.
NOW TELL ME HOW THEY
GONNA COST THE SAME...
WHEN ONE DON'T GOT
NO "LUBE-RO-CATION"?
I DON'T KNOW. THEY BOTH
COST THE SAME THOUGH.
AW, COME ON. HOW
MUCH FOR A BALLOON?
HI. HERE'S SOME
BREAD AND SOME MENUS.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK TO TAKE
YOUR ORDER. HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.
HOW MUCH FOR THIS BREAD?
IT'S COMPLIMENTARY.
"COMPLIMENTARY"?
GOOD LORD, THAT'S A BIG WORD.
COMPLIMENTARY... WHAT'S THAT MEAN?
IT MEANS IT'S FREE. FREE?
THE BREAD FREE NOW?
FREE LIKE KUNTA KINTE.
GOOD LORD, THAT'S FREE.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
I LIKE THIS FREE THING.
BRING HER ONE TOO. ALL RIGHT.
OOH, PETEY, THE NEW YORK
STEAK STRIP LOOKS GOOD.
GOOD LORD. MMM! PRIME RIB.
GOOD LORD. [Gasps] HEY, LOBSTER.
GOOD LORD, THAT'S
A LOT OF MONEY.
DON'T YOU LIKE RICE?
HOW ABOUT YOU ORDER A BOWL OF
RICE AND THE WATER IT WAS BOILED IN?
HONEY, IF I DON'T HAVE
A HEARTY MEAL TONIGHT,
WELL, I MAY NOT HAVE ENOUGH STRENGTH
LATER ON WHEN WE, YOU KNOW, GET BUSY.
ALL RIGHT. I GOT
A NICE IDEA. YEAH?
HOW ABOUT YOU EAT
A NICE LITTLE SNACK,
AND THEN YOU JUST RUB THE BOOTY?
WHAT? OKAY...
WHY DON'T YOU SUCK THE
GRAVY OFF OF HIS VEST, RIGHT,
AND JUST SHAKE MY
HAND UNDER THE TABLE?
THAT'S IT, PETER. I'M ORDERING
ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING I WANT,
AND YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR IT.
WAITER? I'M ORDERING EVERYTHING
ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE MENU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH. GOOD LORD.
- HOW MUCH IS THAT GONNA BE?
- UH, INCLUDING GRATUITY?
- [Sighs] WH-WHAT'S "GRATUITY"?
- THAT'S MY TIP.
YOU WANT A TIP?
DON'T SMOKE IN BED.
BY THE WAY, WHAT DO YOU DO TO
PEOPLE THAT DON'T PAY THEIR BILL?
WE THROW THEM OUT OF THIS
ESTABLISHMENT. HEY, HEY, HEY.
HEY, IF YOU'RE GONNA
THROW ME, MAKE SURE...
YOU THROW ME TOWARDS DENNY'S,
ALL RIGHT? THAT'S IT, BUDDY. LET'S GO.
HEY! GET THE BREAD.
GET THE BREAD.
HEY, COME ON.
[Man, Indistinct]
♪♪ [Hip-hop]
[Man] ♪ AIN'T IT WILD ♪
♪ AIN'T IT WILD ♪
♪ AIN'T IT WILD ♪
♪ AIN'T IT WILD ♪
♪ AIN'T IT WILD ♪
♪ AIN'T IT WILD ♪
♪ AIN'T IT WILD ♪
♪ WILD ♪
♪ BABY ♪♪
HELLO, AND WELCOME
TO A.W.F.'S MAIN EVENT.
TONIGHT, A SUPER
HEAVYWEIGHT, SUPER BRAWL...
FOR THE PRESTIGIOUS
TITLE, "KING OF ALL MEDIA."
AND HERE COME TWO OF
OUR WARRIORS RIGHT NOW.
[Growling] [Growling]
I AM RUSH LIMBAUGH.
AND I'M AL SHARPTON.
AND WE ARE ORDERING YOU TO PARK YOUR
DIMPLED RUMP ON THE NEAREST COUCH...
AND GET READY FOR THE
GRUDGE MATCH OF THE CENTURY.
NO DOUBT MANY OF YOU ARE WONDERING
WHAT COULD HAVE MADE ME JOIN FORCES...
WITH THIS PINK-EYED DEVIL.
OR WHY WOULD I
HITCH MY PIE WAGON...
TO THIS WELFARE
CHECK WITH LEGS... WHY?
ONLY ONE THING COULD
MAKE US INCREASE THE PEACE.
[Together] HOWARD STERN.
THAT BEANPOLE MAY HAVE STOLEN
HIS HAIR FROM DONNA SUMMER...
AND HE IS NOT GOING TO
STEAL THIS TOWN FROM US.
THAT'S RIGHT. WE ARE THE
TRUE KINGS OF ALL MEDIA.
MY RADIO SHOW IS MORE POPULAR...
THAN A DRUNK BROAD
AT A KENNEDY PARTY.
THAT'S RIGHT. I
DEFY YOU TO NAME...
A MORE SHAMELESS CAMERA
HOG THAN YOURS TRULY.
I HAVE TALENT ON LOAN FROM
GOD. FROM GOD, DO YOU HEAR ME?
I WANT YOU, STERN! I WANT YOU!
AND OH, MY, HERE COMES
FART MAN RIGHT NOW,
WITH HIS TAG TEAM
PARTNER, ROBIN QUIVERS.
I AM FART MAN!
WELL, WELL... IF IT
ISN'T JABBER THE HUT.
AND WHO DRESSED THIS BIG
FAT GUY UP AS JAMES BROWN?
- OH, HOWARD, PLEASE.
- ALL RIGHT, FART MAN,
YOU GONNA GET YOURS.
GET HIM, ROBIN. [Groaning]
OH, THAT'S PUNISHMENT.
[Snarls] OH, LOOK...
SHAMU JUST GOT IN THE RING.
NOW ALL WE NEED
ARE SOME LESBIANS...
AND A TUB OF WHIPPED
CREAM AND WE'VE GOT A SHOW.
[Announcer] OH, MY GOODNESS,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
THIS HAS ALL THE MAKINGS OF A
BARE-KNUCKLES STREET BRAWL.
ALL RIGHT, STERN, LET'S SEE HOW YOUR
FEMINAZI SHILL LIKES MY SUPER SLAM.
JUST MAKE HER
WATCH YOUR TV SHOW.
THAT'LL PUT HER TO
SLEEP, YOU SPERM WHALE.
OH, HOWARD. [Laughs] [Yells]
[Growling] [Givens Laughing]
IT BREAKS MY HEART TO SEE A
NUBIAN PRINCESS GO TO BOBO.
DON'T STOP. DON'T STOP,
YOU COCKER SPANIEL.
[Growls]
OH, HOWARD, YOU'RE TERRIBLE.
[Announcer] INCREDIBLE... QUIVERS
TAKING A LOT OF PUNISHMENT OUT THERE,
AND YET SHE'S STILL
LAUGHING LIKE AN IDIOT.
I WILL CRUSH YOU FLATTER THAN
THE RING DING IN MY BACK POCKET.
NO!
[Grunts]
[Babbling]
AL, DO YOU MIND?
YOUR ARMPIT'S LIKE A
COTTAGE CHEESE FACTORY.
OH, HOWARD... HOWARD, PLEASE.
YOU'RE TERRIBLE.
YOU KNOW, ROBIN,
I WOULD LOVE TO PLAY BUTT BONGO
WITH THESE TWO BUTTERBALLS,
BUT I'D HAVE TO BE
A KODO DRUMMER.
KODO DRUMMER! OH, HOWARD.
ALL RIGHT, STERN,
PREPARE TO DIE.
[Groans]
[Farting] OH. OH, GOD!
[Laughing]
AHA. MY SUPER POWERS HAVE
FINALLY KICKED IN... [Limbaugh Groans]
WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM THAT
BRAN MUFFIN AND A POT OF COFFEE.
[Givens] BRAN MUFFIN
AND A POT OF COFFEE!
[Laughing] [Announcer]
WHAT IN THE...
STERN HAS PULLED SOME KIND OF
FOREIGN OBJECT FROM HIS TRUNKS.
IT'S A HOSTESS PIE, YOU MORON.
IT IS! IT'S A
DELICIOUS FRUIT PIE.
[Grunts] HEY, NOW,
HOLD ON, HONKY.
I WANT MY PIECE OF THE PIE.
THERE IT IS, AND IT
LOOKS LIKE WE HAVE...
WAIT, WAIT. WAIT
A SECOND. IT IS...
IT'S A DISQUALIFICATION.
[Bell Ringing]
HEY! THIS IS A TRAVESTY.
THIS ISN'T THE
A.W.F. IT'S THE F.C.C.
I'M NOT GONNA TAKE
THAT FROM YOU, CAVEMAN.
[Laughing] OH, HOWARD.
[Indistinct]
I GUARANTEE YOU FOLKS, THIS
FEUD IS A LONG WAY FROM OVER.
SO UNTIL THEN, SO LONG.
PULL MY FINGER, ROBIN.
♪♪ [Dance]
♪♪ [Man Singing, Indistinct]
♪♪ [Ends]
[Man] LIVE FROM THE INNER CITY,
IT'S EAST HOLLYWOOD SQUARES.
WITH GEORGE FOREMAN, SPIKE LEE,
DR. DRE, ROBERT GUILLAUME,
FRED BERRY, LITTLE RICHARD,
JACKEÉ, SHARI BELAFONTE,
A GUY FROM THE OJAYS
AND ONE OF THE PIPS.
AND NOW, THE MASTER OF
EAST HOLLYWOOD SQUARES,
PETER MARSHALL!
[Applause] THANK YOU, LUIS.
WELCOME ONCE AGAIN TO THE EAST
HOLLYWOOD SQUARES. HEY, STARS.
- [All Talking]
- NICE TO SEE EACH
AND EVERY ONE OF YOU.
LET ME SHOW OUR HOME
AUDIENCE THE SECRET SQUARE.
NOW I WANT YOU TO
MEET OUR PLAYERS.
YOU'VE MET BECKY BEFORE. SHE'S A
SHIATSU MANIPULATOR FROM LAUGHLIN, NEVADA.
WELCOME BACK, BECKY. THANK YOU.
AND DARYL OVER HERE... HE RUNS A
SINGLES COMPLEX IN CANOGA PARK, CALIFORNIA.
IS THAT RIGHT? YEAH.
NOW, BACKSTAGE YOU WON THE GAME
OF ONE POTATO, TWO POTATO, SO DARYL...
"DURYL," IS THAT
RIGHT? "DURYL." YEAH.
YOU'LL... YOU'LL START, SO
GOOD LUCK, AND, UH, PICK A STAR.
YEAH, I'LL GO WITH GEORGE
FOREMAN, PLEASE, PETER.
[Cheers, Applause]
[Marshall] GEORGE, GOOD
TO SEE YOU. HOW'S IT GOIN'?
SAY, GEORGE, YOU'VE
FOUGHT MANY OF THESE,
BUT HOW MANY ROUNDS
ARE THERE IN A TITLE FIGHT?
OOH, PETER, YOU KNOW, THERE'S...
WELL, THERE'S ROUND STEAK
AND THERE'S GROUND ROUND,
AND THERE'S SO MANY
ROUND TASTY THINGS.
UH...
I'M GONNA HAVE TO GO WITH A
CHEESEBURGER. THAT'S ROUND.
CHEESEBURGER. WHAT DO YOU THINK?
I'LL AGREE. [Buzzer Sounds]
NO, I'M SORRY, DARYL. THAT-THAT
CHEESEBURGER DOESN'T CUT IT.
IN FACT, IT'S PRETTY
BIZARRE THAT THE MAN...
WOULD EVEN SAY THAT,
AND THAT YOU WOULD AGREE.
BECKY, IT'S YOUR TURN.
PICK A STAR. I'LL
GO WITH SPIKE LEE.
HI. HI. [Applause]
[Marshall] SPIKE, CONGRATULATIONS
ON YOUR RECENT MARRIAGE.
HERE'S YOUR QUESTION. "HOW MANY
DAYS A WEEK DO NEWLYWEDS HIT IT?"
HA, HA. PETER? YES.
PETER. YES.
PETER. HMM?
HOW MANY TIMES DO
NEWLYWEDS HIT IT?
YOU MEAN, "UH"?
YOU MEAN HOW MANY TIMES
DOES SHE GOTTA HAVE IT?
HUH? YOU MEAN HOW MANY
TIMES DO WE DO THE RIGHT THING?
HUH? HOW MANY TIMES
DOES "X" MARK THE SPOT?
HUH? SHE GETS THE SPIKE LEE
JOINT, LIKE, UH, FIVE TIMES A WEEK. UH.
SPIKE SAYS FIVE TIMES A
WEEK. EWW. I'LL DISAGREE.
[Bell Dings] GOOD CHOICE.
WHAT DO YOU... GET OUT OF
HERE, DISAGREE. GET OUT OF HERE.
WHAT ARE YOU AGREEING ON?
GET OUT OF HERE, AGREEING.
UH, DURYL, YOUR PICK.
YEAH. I'LL GO WITH
THE LOVELY JACKEÉ.
[Marshall] JACKEÉ. HEY, PETER.
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
UH, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IS THE
MOST WORN OUT SPOT IN YOUR HOUSE?
UH...
I HAVE TO SAY MY "G" SPOT.
SHE SAYS HER "G"
SPOT. UH, I'LL AGREE.
THAT'S RIGHT. AND CIRCLE
GETS THE SQUARE. [Bell Dings]
BECKY, IT'S YOUR TURN TO CHOOSE.
UH, YES, I'LL GO WITH ROBERT
GUILLAUME. BOB GUILLAUME,
STAR OF TELEVISION'S
BENSON. [Muttering]
GREAT SHOW. BENSON.
OKAY. IN ALEX HALEY'S QUEEN, WHAT
DID THE BUTLER SAY TO THE BOSS?
KISS MY BLACK ASS, MAN.
I'LL AGREE. [Bell Dings] RIGHT.
AND "X" GETS THE SQUARE.
DURYL, WHAT STAR WILL IT BE NOW?
UH, I THINK I'LL GO
WITH FRED BERRY.
FRED BERRY, RERUN FROM
THE CLASSIC WHAT'S HAPPENING?
WHAT'S NEW, FRED? [Applause]
NOT A DARN THING.
THAT'S WHY I'M HERE SHOOTING
EAST HOLLYWOOD SQUARES.
YES. UH, SO, FRED, LISTEN CAREFULLY.
VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION HERE.
"WHAT'S SMALL, PURPLE, AND
SHOULD BE EXAMINED BY A DOCTOR?"
HMM.
I'D HAVE TO SAY...
PRINCE.
PRINCE. SMALL, PURPLE AND
SHOULD BE EXAMINED BY A DOCTOR.
UH, WELL, DO YOU
AGREE OR DISAGREE?
I'LL DISAGREE. [Buzzer Sounds]
NO, THAT'S DEFINITELY
A CORRECT ANSWER.
BECKY, IT'S YOUR PICK. SO...
I'LL GO WITH ONE OF MY PERSONAL
FAVORITES, SHARI BELAFONTE.
I THINK SHE'S EVERYBODY'S
PERSONAL FAVORITE.
SHARI, HERE'S YOUR
QUESTION. HOW BIG... HI. PETER.
HI, DEAR. YOU LOOK SO
BEAUTIFUL. HOW YA DOIN'?
DIG THIS. [Chuckles]
THE QUESTION IS,
"HOW BIG IS YOUR FOREHEAD?"
WOW, PETER. I MEAN, HOW DARE YOU,
YOU KNOW? I MEAN, HOW DARE YOU?
I WOULD NEVER ASK SOMEONE,
YOU KNOW... I MEAN, DIG THIS.
I WOULD NEVER ASK
SOMEONE HOW BIG THEIR
FOREHEAD WAS. ALL RIGHT,
PETER? TWELVE INCHES.
WELL, HOW IS IT? TWELVE INCHES.
TWELVE INCHES? I'LL AGREE.
[Buzzer Sounds] I'M SORRY,
BECKY. IT'S ACTUALLY 15 INCHES.
"X" DOESN'T GET THE SQUARE.
DURYL, IT'S YOUR
TURN. GO GET 'EM.
YEAH, I'LL GO WITH THE
"D" MAN HIMSELF, ALL RIGHT?
THE "D" MAN.
THE INCREDIBLE
DR. DRE IN THE HOUSE.
SAY, WHAT'S UP, PAL?
HEY, WHAT'S UP, MAN.
I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN VERY BUSY. I HEARD
YOU'VE HAD QUITE A FEW HITS LATELY.
WELL, YOU KNOW, I BEEN HEAPIN'
AND A-PEEPIN' AND A-CREEPIN',
AND I ALMOST GOT POPPED
'CAUSE MY BEEPER KEPT BEEPIN',
SO IT'S TIME I MADE
MY PRESSURE FELT.
NOW LET ME CREEP TO THE MIKE
LIKE A PHANTOM. WHAT UP? YEAH.
YEAH, MAN, LOOK. Y'ALL CAN'T
PROVE NOTHIN' ON ME, RIGHT? OKAY?
ALL RIGHT? CAN'T NOBODY DO
A POSITIVE I.D. ON ME YET, MAN.
THAT WASN'T EVEN MY GUN, "G."
WHAT'S UP, UP IN
HERE, HUH? WHAT'S UP?
ARE YOU READY FOR THE
QUESTION? YEAH, COME ON WITH IT.
OKAY. "HOW MANY TIMES SHOULD THE
WORD 'BITCH' BE USED IN A RECORD?"
UH-HUH. WELL, WHAT YOU MEAN? SINGLE,
CD CUT, 12-INCH, MAXI DANCE VERSION, LOC?
WHAT UP? THE SINGLE.
UH-HUH. WELL, IT
DEPENDS ON THE HO...
I MEAN, LADY.
- WELL, TAKE A GUESS.
- ALL RIGHT. I WOULD HAVE TO SAY...
UH...
UH, 12,715 TIMES.
THAT'S GIVE OR TAKE 100,
MONEY. AGREE OR DISAGREE?
UH, YEAH, I'LL AGREE.
[Bell Dings] CIRCLE
GETS THE SQUARE.
ALL RIGHT, GOOD. YES. OKAY.
UH, YOUR TURN, DEAR. I'LL GO WITH
LITTLE RICHARD TO BLACK... TO BLOCK.
[Alarm Sounds]
[Marshall] THAT IS
THE SECRET SQUARE.
BECKY, FOR THE BLOCK, AND
WE'RE GOING TO LITTLE RICHARD.
OH, GOOD GOLLY,
MISS MOLLY. ♪ OOH ♪
TRUE OR FALSE...
IN LONDON, ANOTHER NAME
FOR CIGARETTE IS "FAG."
YOU BETTER SHUT UP AND
ASK ME ANOTHER QUESTION.
ALL RIGHT. THAT'S FAIR ENOUGH.
IN YOUR HIT SONG "TUTTI FRUTTI,"
WE ALL KNOW KIM FIELDS IS
TUTTI, BUT WHO, EXACTLY, IS FRUTTI?
YOU'RE GONNA MAKE
ME CUT YOU IN HALF.
MAYBE YOU'LL LIKE THIS ONE. I'VE
GOT ANOTHER QUESTION FOR YOU.
LISTEN CAREFULLY. OTHER THAN IN
THE MOVIES PINOCCHIO AND HOOK,
ARE THERE ANY OTHER
BIG FAIRIES IN HOLLYWOOD?
I'LL HAVE TO SAY YES.
♪ OOH ♪ SHUT UP.
AGREE OR DISAGREE?
I'LL DISAGREE.
[Buzzer Sounds] OH, NO, THERE ARE
THREE ON THE PANEL RIGHT NOW...
THAT ARE SUSPECT, BUT ANYWAY...
YOU SHOULD HAVE AGREED.
DURYL, YOU CAN WIN IT RIGHT HERE.
SO GO GET 'EM. YO, I'LL
TAKE LITTLE RICHARD TO W-I-N.
OKAY. LISTEN CAREFULLY.
"GOD CREATED THE
WORLD IN SIX DAYS.
ON THE SEVENTH
DAY, WHAT DID HE DO?"
HE CREATED ROCK 'N' ROLL, HONEY,
AND THEN HE STOLE IT FROM ME.
HE DID. 'CAUSE I'M THE CREATOR,
THE ORIGINATOR OF ROCK 'N' ROLL.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT? HE
STOLE THAT BURNIN' BUSH IDEA.
I WAS THE ONE IN THE
MOUNTAINS BURNIN'. ♪ OOH ♪
HE SAID GOD CREATED ROCK 'N'
ROLL, THEN STOLE IT FROM HIM.
DO YOU AGREE OR
DISAGREE? UH, I'LL DISAGREE.
[Bell Dings] CIRCLE GETS
THE SQUARE AND THE GAME.
CONGRATULATIONS TO DURYL. IT
LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE OUR NEW CHAMPION.
HEY, KENNY, TELL DURYL WHAT HE'S
WON ON EAST HOLLYWOOD SQUARES.
[Announcer] DURYL,
YOU'VE WON ONE TICKET...
TO THE SMASH HIT MUSICAL MAMA, PUT
DOWN THE CORNBREAD 'CAUSE I WANNA SING.
THANK YOU, STARS. I'LL SEE YOU HERE
NEXT TIME. PETER MARSHALL SAYING BYE-BYE.
FOR MORE FUN ON EAST HOLLYWOOD
SQUARES, YOU LOOK FOR US.
- ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪
♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪
- ♪ TAKE IT FROM ME
IT'S A'IGHT TO BE ♪
- HI-YAH!
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ AND HOW WOULD YA... HOW
WOULD YA... HOW WOULD YA F... ♪
♪ HOW WOULD YOU FEEL KNOWING
PREJUDICE WAS OBSOLETE ♪
♪ AND ALL MANKIND
DANCED TO THE EXACT BEAT ♪
[Echoing] ♪ AND AT NIGHT IT WAS
SAFE TO WALK DOWN THE STREET ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
[Turntable Scratching]
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪♪
[Laughing]
[Chattering]
WE NEED A TABLE FOR TWO.
IT'S GONNA BE A FEW MINUTES.
MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO SIT AT THE BAR.
OOH, THAT'S PERFECT.
PETEY, THIS PLACE IS LOVELY.
AIN'T NOTHIN' TOO
NICE FOR YOU, TRACY.
ALL RIGHT. CAN I GET YOU BEAUTIFUL
PEOPLE SOMETHING TO DRINK?
- WHAT DO YOU RECOMMEND?
- UH, HOW ABOUT A BLACK RUSSIAN?
HOW MUCH IS THAT?
THAT'LL BE FIVE DOLLARS.
FIVE DOLLARS! GOOD LORD,
THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY.
HOW ABOUT I GIVE YOU 49 CENTS,
YOU GIVE ME A LIGHT-SKINNED
GIRL FROM MOSCOW?
[Chuckles] I CAN'T DO THAT, MAN.
OKAY, UH... UH,
WHAT ELSE YOU GOT?
UH, WE HAVE A WONDERFUL
HOUSE WINE. [Gasps]
HOW MUCH IS THAT?
FOUR DOLLARS A GLASS.
FOUR DOLLARS A GLASS!
GOOD LORD, THAT'S A LOT OF...
THAT COST MORE THAN MY HOUSE.
HOW ABOUT I GIVE YOU
ABOUT, UH, 49 CENTS,
YOU KEEP THE HOUSE WINE AND BRING
ME SOME OF THAT PROJECT PUNCH?
WHY DON'T I GET YOU
TWO BOTTLES OF SNAPPLE?
ALL RIGHT. ONE
BOTTLE, TWO STRAWS.
I LOVE SNAPPLE.
UH, GEE, HONEY, WHAT DO
YOU WANT TO DO AFTER DINNER?
I HEAR THERE'S A GREAT NEW
DETECTIVE FILM AT THE CINEPLEX.
HOW MUCH IT COST FOR TWO
TICKETS AND SOME POPCORN?
UH, $17. SEVENTEEN DOLLARS!
GOOD LORD!
YOU KNOW, HOW ABOUT WE GO TO MY
MAMA'S HOUSE AND WATCH BARNABY JONES?
I KNOW, HONEY. WHY DON'T
WE JUST GO BACK TO MY PLACE,
TURN THE LIGHTS DOWN
LOW AND WATCH A VIDEO?
HOW MUCH IS THAT?
I RENTED ONE ALREADY. IT'S FREE.
FREE? GOOD LORD,
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
EXCUSE ME, SIR.
YOUR TABLE'S READY.
HONEY, YOU JUST GO
ALONG. I'LL BE A MINUTE, OKAY?
HEY, FELLA. FELLA.
YOU GOT A CONDOM MACHINE
IN THAT THERE BATHROOM?
YEAH, WE DO. ALL
RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
HOW MUCH... HOW MUCH FOR A
LUBRICATED CONDOM? ONE DOLLAR.
ONE DOLLAR! ALL
RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
HOW MUCH FOR ONE
WITH NO LUBRICATION?
STILL A DOLLAR.
NOW TELL ME HOW THEY
GONNA COST THE SAME...
WHEN ONE DON'T GOT
NO "LUBE-RO-CATION"?
I DON'T KNOW. THEY BOTH
COST THE SAME THOUGH.
AW, COME ON. HOW
MUCH FOR A BALLOON?
HI. HERE'S SOME
BREAD AND SOME MENUS.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK TO TAKE
YOUR ORDER. HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.
HOW MUCH FOR THIS BREAD?
IT'S COMPLIMENTARY.
"COMPLIMENTARY"?
GOOD LORD, THAT'S A BIG WORD.
COMPLIMENTARY... WHAT'S THAT MEAN?
IT MEANS IT'S FREE. FREE?
THE BREAD FREE NOW?
FREE LIKE KUNTA KINTE.
GOOD LORD, THAT'S FREE.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
I LIKE THIS FREE THING.
BRING HER ONE TOO. ALL RIGHT.
OOH, PETEY, THE NEW YORK
STEAK STRIP LOOKS GOOD.
GOOD LORD. MMM! PRIME RIB.
GOOD LORD. [Gasps] HEY, LOBSTER.
GOOD LORD, THAT'S
A LOT OF MONEY.
DON'T YOU LIKE RICE?
HOW ABOUT YOU ORDER A BOWL OF
RICE AND THE WATER IT WAS BOILED IN?
HONEY, IF I DON'T HAVE
A HEARTY MEAL TONIGHT,
WELL, I MAY NOT HAVE ENOUGH STRENGTH
LATER ON WHEN WE, YOU KNOW, GET BUSY.
ALL RIGHT. I GOT
A NICE IDEA. YEAH?
HOW ABOUT YOU EAT
A NICE LITTLE SNACK,
AND THEN YOU JUST RUB THE BOOTY?
WHAT? OKAY...
WHY DON'T YOU SUCK THE
GRAVY OFF OF HIS VEST, RIGHT,
AND JUST SHAKE MY
HAND UNDER THE TABLE?
THAT'S IT, PETER. I'M ORDERING
ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING I WANT,
AND YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR IT.
WAITER? I'M ORDERING EVERYTHING
ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE MENU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH. GOOD LORD.
- HOW MUCH IS THAT GONNA BE?
- UH, INCLUDING GRATUITY?
- [Sighs] WH-WHAT'S "GRATUITY"?
- THAT'S MY TIP.
YOU WANT A TIP?
DON'T SMOKE IN BED.
BY THE WAY, WHAT DO YOU DO TO
PEOPLE THAT DON'T PAY THEIR BILL?
WE THROW THEM OUT OF THIS
ESTABLISHMENT. HEY, HEY, HEY.
HEY, IF YOU'RE GONNA
THROW ME, MAKE SURE...
YOU THROW ME TOWARDS DENNY'S,
ALL RIGHT? THAT'S IT, BUDDY. LET'S GO.
HEY! GET THE BREAD.
GET THE BREAD.
HEY, COME ON.
[Man, Indistinct]
♪♪ [Hip-hop]
[Man] ♪ AIN'T IT WILD ♪
♪ AIN'T IT WILD ♪
♪ AIN'T IT WILD ♪
♪ AIN'T IT WILD ♪
♪ AIN'T IT WILD ♪
♪ AIN'T IT WILD ♪
♪ AIN'T IT WILD ♪
♪ WILD ♪
♪ BABY ♪♪
HELLO, AND WELCOME
TO A.W.F.'S MAIN EVENT.
TONIGHT, A SUPER
HEAVYWEIGHT, SUPER BRAWL...
FOR THE PRESTIGIOUS
TITLE, "KING OF ALL MEDIA."
AND HERE COME TWO OF
OUR WARRIORS RIGHT NOW.
[Growling] [Growling]
I AM RUSH LIMBAUGH.
AND I'M AL SHARPTON.
AND WE ARE ORDERING YOU TO PARK YOUR
DIMPLED RUMP ON THE NEAREST COUCH...
AND GET READY FOR THE
GRUDGE MATCH OF THE CENTURY.
NO DOUBT MANY OF YOU ARE WONDERING
WHAT COULD HAVE MADE ME JOIN FORCES...
WITH THIS PINK-EYED DEVIL.
OR WHY WOULD I
HITCH MY PIE WAGON...
TO THIS WELFARE
CHECK WITH LEGS... WHY?
ONLY ONE THING COULD
MAKE US INCREASE THE PEACE.
[Together] HOWARD STERN.
THAT BEANPOLE MAY HAVE STOLEN
HIS HAIR FROM DONNA SUMMER...
AND HE IS NOT GOING TO
STEAL THIS TOWN FROM US.
THAT'S RIGHT. WE ARE THE
TRUE KINGS OF ALL MEDIA.
MY RADIO SHOW IS MORE POPULAR...
THAN A DRUNK BROAD
AT A KENNEDY PARTY.
THAT'S RIGHT. I
DEFY YOU TO NAME...
A MORE SHAMELESS CAMERA
HOG THAN YOURS TRULY.
I HAVE TALENT ON LOAN FROM
GOD. FROM GOD, DO YOU HEAR ME?
I WANT YOU, STERN! I WANT YOU!
AND OH, MY, HERE COMES
FART MAN RIGHT NOW,
WITH HIS TAG TEAM
PARTNER, ROBIN QUIVERS.
I AM FART MAN!
WELL, WELL... IF IT
ISN'T JABBER THE HUT.
AND WHO DRESSED THIS BIG
FAT GUY UP AS JAMES BROWN?
- OH, HOWARD, PLEASE.
- ALL RIGHT, FART MAN,
YOU GONNA GET YOURS.
GET HIM, ROBIN. [Groaning]
OH, THAT'S PUNISHMENT.
[Snarls] OH, LOOK...
SHAMU JUST GOT IN THE RING.
NOW ALL WE NEED
ARE SOME LESBIANS...
AND A TUB OF WHIPPED
CREAM AND WE'VE GOT A SHOW.
[Announcer] OH, MY GOODNESS,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
THIS HAS ALL THE MAKINGS OF A
BARE-KNUCKLES STREET BRAWL.
ALL RIGHT, STERN, LET'S SEE HOW YOUR
FEMINAZI SHILL LIKES MY SUPER SLAM.
JUST MAKE HER
WATCH YOUR TV SHOW.
THAT'LL PUT HER TO
SLEEP, YOU SPERM WHALE.
OH, HOWARD. [Laughs] [Yells]
[Growling] [Givens Laughing]
IT BREAKS MY HEART TO SEE A
NUBIAN PRINCESS GO TO BOBO.
DON'T STOP. DON'T STOP,
YOU COCKER SPANIEL.
[Growls]
OH, HOWARD, YOU'RE TERRIBLE.
[Announcer] INCREDIBLE... QUIVERS
TAKING A LOT OF PUNISHMENT OUT THERE,
AND YET SHE'S STILL
LAUGHING LIKE AN IDIOT.
I WILL CRUSH YOU FLATTER THAN
THE RING DING IN MY BACK POCKET.
NO!
[Grunts]
[Babbling]
AL, DO YOU MIND?
YOUR ARMPIT'S LIKE A
COTTAGE CHEESE FACTORY.
OH, HOWARD... HOWARD, PLEASE.
YOU'RE TERRIBLE.
YOU KNOW, ROBIN,
I WOULD LOVE TO PLAY BUTT BONGO
WITH THESE TWO BUTTERBALLS,
BUT I'D HAVE TO BE
A KODO DRUMMER.
KODO DRUMMER! OH, HOWARD.
ALL RIGHT, STERN,
PREPARE TO DIE.
[Groans]
[Farting] OH. OH, GOD!
[Laughing]
AHA. MY SUPER POWERS HAVE
FINALLY KICKED IN... [Limbaugh Groans]
WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM THAT
BRAN MUFFIN AND A POT OF COFFEE.
[Givens] BRAN MUFFIN
AND A POT OF COFFEE!
[Laughing] [Announcer]
WHAT IN THE...
STERN HAS PULLED SOME KIND OF
FOREIGN OBJECT FROM HIS TRUNKS.
IT'S A HOSTESS PIE, YOU MORON.
IT IS! IT'S A
DELICIOUS FRUIT PIE.
[Grunts] HEY, NOW,
HOLD ON, HONKY.
I WANT MY PIECE OF THE PIE.
THERE IT IS, AND IT
LOOKS LIKE WE HAVE...
WAIT, WAIT. WAIT
A SECOND. IT IS...
IT'S A DISQUALIFICATION.
[Bell Ringing]
HEY! THIS IS A TRAVESTY.
THIS ISN'T THE
A.W.F. IT'S THE F.C.C.
I'M NOT GONNA TAKE
THAT FROM YOU, CAVEMAN.
[Laughing] OH, HOWARD.
[Indistinct]
I GUARANTEE YOU FOLKS, THIS
FEUD IS A LONG WAY FROM OVER.
SO UNTIL THEN, SO LONG.
PULL MY FINGER, ROBIN.
♪♪ [Dance]
♪♪ [Man Singing, Indistinct]
♪♪ [Ends]
[Man] LIVE FROM THE INNER CITY,
IT'S EAST HOLLYWOOD SQUARES.
WITH GEORGE FOREMAN, SPIKE LEE,
DR. DRE, ROBERT GUILLAUME,
FRED BERRY, LITTLE RICHARD,
JACKEÉ, SHARI BELAFONTE,
A GUY FROM THE OJAYS
AND ONE OF THE PIPS.
AND NOW, THE MASTER OF
EAST HOLLYWOOD SQUARES,
PETER MARSHALL!
[Applause] THANK YOU, LUIS.
WELCOME ONCE AGAIN TO THE EAST
HOLLYWOOD SQUARES. HEY, STARS.
- [All Talking]
- NICE TO SEE EACH
AND EVERY ONE OF YOU.
LET ME SHOW OUR HOME
AUDIENCE THE SECRET SQUARE.
NOW I WANT YOU TO
MEET OUR PLAYERS.
YOU'VE MET BECKY BEFORE. SHE'S A
SHIATSU MANIPULATOR FROM LAUGHLIN, NEVADA.
WELCOME BACK, BECKY. THANK YOU.
AND DARYL OVER HERE... HE RUNS A
SINGLES COMPLEX IN CANOGA PARK, CALIFORNIA.
IS THAT RIGHT? YEAH.
NOW, BACKSTAGE YOU WON THE GAME
OF ONE POTATO, TWO POTATO, SO DARYL...
"DURYL," IS THAT
RIGHT? "DURYL." YEAH.
YOU'LL... YOU'LL START, SO
GOOD LUCK, AND, UH, PICK A STAR.
YEAH, I'LL GO WITH GEORGE
FOREMAN, PLEASE, PETER.
[Cheers, Applause]
[Marshall] GEORGE, GOOD
TO SEE YOU. HOW'S IT GOIN'?
SAY, GEORGE, YOU'VE
FOUGHT MANY OF THESE,
BUT HOW MANY ROUNDS
ARE THERE IN A TITLE FIGHT?
OOH, PETER, YOU KNOW, THERE'S...
WELL, THERE'S ROUND STEAK
AND THERE'S GROUND ROUND,
AND THERE'S SO MANY
ROUND TASTY THINGS.
UH...
I'M GONNA HAVE TO GO WITH A
CHEESEBURGER. THAT'S ROUND.
CHEESEBURGER. WHAT DO YOU THINK?
I'LL AGREE. [Buzzer Sounds]
NO, I'M SORRY, DARYL. THAT-THAT
CHEESEBURGER DOESN'T CUT IT.
IN FACT, IT'S PRETTY
BIZARRE THAT THE MAN...
WOULD EVEN SAY THAT,
AND THAT YOU WOULD AGREE.
BECKY, IT'S YOUR TURN.
PICK A STAR. I'LL
GO WITH SPIKE LEE.
HI. HI. [Applause]
[Marshall] SPIKE, CONGRATULATIONS
ON YOUR RECENT MARRIAGE.
HERE'S YOUR QUESTION. "HOW MANY
DAYS A WEEK DO NEWLYWEDS HIT IT?"
HA, HA. PETER? YES.
PETER. YES.
PETER. HMM?
HOW MANY TIMES DO
NEWLYWEDS HIT IT?
YOU MEAN, "UH"?
YOU MEAN HOW MANY TIMES
DOES SHE GOTTA HAVE IT?
HUH? YOU MEAN HOW MANY
TIMES DO WE DO THE RIGHT THING?
HUH? HOW MANY TIMES
DOES "X" MARK THE SPOT?
HUH? SHE GETS THE SPIKE LEE
JOINT, LIKE, UH, FIVE TIMES A WEEK. UH.
SPIKE SAYS FIVE TIMES A
WEEK. EWW. I'LL DISAGREE.
[Bell Dings] GOOD CHOICE.
WHAT DO YOU... GET OUT OF
HERE, DISAGREE. GET OUT OF HERE.
WHAT ARE YOU AGREEING ON?
GET OUT OF HERE, AGREEING.
UH, DURYL, YOUR PICK.
YEAH. I'LL GO WITH
THE LOVELY JACKEÉ.
[Marshall] JACKEÉ. HEY, PETER.
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
UH, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IS THE
MOST WORN OUT SPOT IN YOUR HOUSE?
UH...
I HAVE TO SAY MY "G" SPOT.
SHE SAYS HER "G"
SPOT. UH, I'LL AGREE.
THAT'S RIGHT. AND CIRCLE
GETS THE SQUARE. [Bell Dings]
BECKY, IT'S YOUR TURN TO CHOOSE.
UH, YES, I'LL GO WITH ROBERT
GUILLAUME. BOB GUILLAUME,
STAR OF TELEVISION'S
BENSON. [Muttering]
GREAT SHOW. BENSON.
OKAY. IN ALEX HALEY'S QUEEN, WHAT
DID THE BUTLER SAY TO THE BOSS?
KISS MY BLACK ASS, MAN.
I'LL AGREE. [Bell Dings] RIGHT.
AND "X" GETS THE SQUARE.
DURYL, WHAT STAR WILL IT BE NOW?
UH, I THINK I'LL GO
WITH FRED BERRY.
FRED BERRY, RERUN FROM
THE CLASSIC WHAT'S HAPPENING?
WHAT'S NEW, FRED? [Applause]
NOT A DARN THING.
THAT'S WHY I'M HERE SHOOTING
EAST HOLLYWOOD SQUARES.
YES. UH, SO, FRED, LISTEN CAREFULLY.
VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION HERE.
"WHAT'S SMALL, PURPLE, AND
SHOULD BE EXAMINED BY A DOCTOR?"
HMM.
I'D HAVE TO SAY...
PRINCE.
PRINCE. SMALL, PURPLE AND
SHOULD BE EXAMINED BY A DOCTOR.
UH, WELL, DO YOU
AGREE OR DISAGREE?
I'LL DISAGREE. [Buzzer Sounds]
NO, THAT'S DEFINITELY
A CORRECT ANSWER.
BECKY, IT'S YOUR PICK. SO...
I'LL GO WITH ONE OF MY PERSONAL
FAVORITES, SHARI BELAFONTE.
I THINK SHE'S EVERYBODY'S
PERSONAL FAVORITE.
SHARI, HERE'S YOUR
QUESTION. HOW BIG... HI. PETER.
HI, DEAR. YOU LOOK SO
BEAUTIFUL. HOW YA DOIN'?
DIG THIS. [Chuckles]
THE QUESTION IS,
"HOW BIG IS YOUR FOREHEAD?"
WOW, PETER. I MEAN, HOW DARE YOU,
YOU KNOW? I MEAN, HOW DARE YOU?
I WOULD NEVER ASK SOMEONE,
YOU KNOW... I MEAN, DIG THIS.
I WOULD NEVER ASK
SOMEONE HOW BIG THEIR
FOREHEAD WAS. ALL RIGHT,
PETER? TWELVE INCHES.
WELL, HOW IS IT? TWELVE INCHES.
TWELVE INCHES? I'LL AGREE.
[Buzzer Sounds] I'M SORRY,
BECKY. IT'S ACTUALLY 15 INCHES.
"X" DOESN'T GET THE SQUARE.
DURYL, IT'S YOUR
TURN. GO GET 'EM.
YEAH, I'LL GO WITH THE
"D" MAN HIMSELF, ALL RIGHT?
THE "D" MAN.
THE INCREDIBLE
DR. DRE IN THE HOUSE.
SAY, WHAT'S UP, PAL?
HEY, WHAT'S UP, MAN.
I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN VERY BUSY. I HEARD
YOU'VE HAD QUITE A FEW HITS LATELY.
WELL, YOU KNOW, I BEEN HEAPIN'
AND A-PEEPIN' AND A-CREEPIN',
AND I ALMOST GOT POPPED
'CAUSE MY BEEPER KEPT BEEPIN',
SO IT'S TIME I MADE
MY PRESSURE FELT.
NOW LET ME CREEP TO THE MIKE
LIKE A PHANTOM. WHAT UP? YEAH.
YEAH, MAN, LOOK. Y'ALL CAN'T
PROVE NOTHIN' ON ME, RIGHT? OKAY?
ALL RIGHT? CAN'T NOBODY DO
A POSITIVE I.D. ON ME YET, MAN.
THAT WASN'T EVEN MY GUN, "G."
WHAT'S UP, UP IN
HERE, HUH? WHAT'S UP?
ARE YOU READY FOR THE
QUESTION? YEAH, COME ON WITH IT.
OKAY. "HOW MANY TIMES SHOULD THE
WORD 'BITCH' BE USED IN A RECORD?"
UH-HUH. WELL, WHAT YOU MEAN? SINGLE,
CD CUT, 12-INCH, MAXI DANCE VERSION, LOC?
WHAT UP? THE SINGLE.
UH-HUH. WELL, IT
DEPENDS ON THE HO...
I MEAN, LADY.
- WELL, TAKE A GUESS.
- ALL RIGHT. I WOULD HAVE TO SAY...
UH...
UH, 12,715 TIMES.
THAT'S GIVE OR TAKE 100,
MONEY. AGREE OR DISAGREE?
UH, YEAH, I'LL AGREE.
[Bell Dings] CIRCLE
GETS THE SQUARE.
ALL RIGHT, GOOD. YES. OKAY.
UH, YOUR TURN, DEAR. I'LL GO WITH
LITTLE RICHARD TO BLACK... TO BLOCK.
[Alarm Sounds]
[Marshall] THAT IS
THE SECRET SQUARE.
BECKY, FOR THE BLOCK, AND
WE'RE GOING TO LITTLE RICHARD.
OH, GOOD GOLLY,
MISS MOLLY. ♪ OOH ♪
TRUE OR FALSE...
IN LONDON, ANOTHER NAME
FOR CIGARETTE IS "FAG."
YOU BETTER SHUT UP AND
ASK ME ANOTHER QUESTION.
ALL RIGHT. THAT'S FAIR ENOUGH.
IN YOUR HIT SONG "TUTTI FRUTTI,"
WE ALL KNOW KIM FIELDS IS
TUTTI, BUT WHO, EXACTLY, IS FRUTTI?
YOU'RE GONNA MAKE
ME CUT YOU IN HALF.
MAYBE YOU'LL LIKE THIS ONE. I'VE
GOT ANOTHER QUESTION FOR YOU.
LISTEN CAREFULLY. OTHER THAN IN
THE MOVIES PINOCCHIO AND HOOK,
ARE THERE ANY OTHER
BIG FAIRIES IN HOLLYWOOD?
I'LL HAVE TO SAY YES.
♪ OOH ♪ SHUT UP.
AGREE OR DISAGREE?
I'LL DISAGREE.
[Buzzer Sounds] OH, NO, THERE ARE
THREE ON THE PANEL RIGHT NOW...
THAT ARE SUSPECT, BUT ANYWAY...
YOU SHOULD HAVE AGREED.
DURYL, YOU CAN WIN IT RIGHT HERE.
SO GO GET 'EM. YO, I'LL
TAKE LITTLE RICHARD TO W-I-N.
OKAY. LISTEN CAREFULLY.
"GOD CREATED THE
WORLD IN SIX DAYS.
ON THE SEVENTH
DAY, WHAT DID HE DO?"
HE CREATED ROCK 'N' ROLL, HONEY,
AND THEN HE STOLE IT FROM ME.
HE DID. 'CAUSE I'M THE CREATOR,
THE ORIGINATOR OF ROCK 'N' ROLL.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT? HE
STOLE THAT BURNIN' BUSH IDEA.
I WAS THE ONE IN THE
MOUNTAINS BURNIN'. ♪ OOH ♪
HE SAID GOD CREATED ROCK 'N'
ROLL, THEN STOLE IT FROM HIM.
DO YOU AGREE OR
DISAGREE? UH, I'LL DISAGREE.
[Bell Dings] CIRCLE GETS
THE SQUARE AND THE GAME.
CONGRATULATIONS TO DURYL. IT
LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE OUR NEW CHAMPION.
HEY, KENNY, TELL DURYL WHAT HE'S
WON ON EAST HOLLYWOOD SQUARES.
[Announcer] DURYL,
YOU'VE WON ONE TICKET...
TO THE SMASH HIT MUSICAL MAMA, PUT
DOWN THE CORNBREAD 'CAUSE I WANNA SING.
THANK YOU, STARS. I'LL SEE YOU HERE
NEXT TIME. PETER MARSHALL SAYING BYE-BYE.
FOR MORE FUN ON EAST HOLLYWOOD
SQUARES, YOU LOOK FOR US.