I Love That for You (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 7 - Point of No Returns - full transcript

[crickets chirping]

[Joanna]
Wow.

This is, uh, so cozy.

Do you want to come in?

It's a little messy.
My maid skipped last week.

Oh, no, I-I love it.

Sorry.

[sighs]

Um, it's really... I love it,

it's got such an eclectic,
chic quality.

Thanks. Well, I-I collect a lot
of very rare and unique pieces.



Things you can't
find anywhere, so...

[Joanna] No, yes.

I can see that.

- Very...
- It's a little rude of you

to just show up
without even calling.

Well, I did call.
You didn't pick up.

Well, I can't find my phone.

So, how did it happen?

Did you just go knock
on Patricia's door and say,

"I'll do it. I'll stab
my friend in the back"?

Jackie, I didn't feel
like I had a choice.

Okay.

Oh.

Amazing sarcophagus.



Thanks. It's actually a bar.
You can open it.

- Oh.
- I sold that in 1998.

It was made
by Cairo Home Accents.

They went out of business,
such a shame.

They were based in Galveston.

[laughs softly]

Why are you making that face?

Oh, I'm...
I'm not making a-a face.

You're making a face.

This is why I don't
like people over.

They don't even understand.

Jackie, what are you
talking about? I understand.

Okay? I-I love this stuff.

[sighs] What a beautiful
collection of roosters.

Is this one hand-painted?

I mean, what an incredible
conversation piece.

Look at that scalloped edging.
That's such a unique detail.

Yeah, I sold that in 2002.
It was made by Farms Unlimited.

Daniel Farms, he was
such a talented designer.

He overdosed, though. So sad.

Absolutely heartbreaking.

Daniel Farms.

Funny guy, too.

Wait a second. Is this all...

It's everything I've ever sold.

I wouldn't sell anything
to my Jackalopes

that I don't love myself, so...

Jackie, I am really sorry.

Well, I really appreciate
you saying that.

Means a lot to me.

I know Patricia can do
really crazy things,

so I do understand that.

Maybe she's just going
through a tough time.

- [clangs]
- Oh, my God, please.

We're all going through
a tough time.

Give me a break.
I'm getting divorced.

You're going through your stuff.

Right. Yeah.

By the way, I do have to say,
you were really good today.

I mean, not just, like, good.
You were fantastic.

Look, Jackie, I was
basically just doing you.

I mean, everyone is.
You're a legend.

Please come back
to work. Please.

I don't know.

I don't think I'm really
wanted there anymore.

Jackie, what are you
talking about?

Of course you are.

Okay, look, come in
tomorrow morning,

and we will go talk
to Patricia together.

Okay? You gonna come in?

We'll see.

9 a.m. sharp.
What's your coffee order?

- Light and sweet and piping hot?
- [both chuckle]

Mm, I'll think about it.

Okay, so I'll definitely
see you tomorrow. Then.

Upbeat music...

*I LOVE THAT FOR YOU*
Season 01 Episode 07

Episode Title: "Point of No Returns"
Aired on: June 12, 2022.

[Darcy]
This photo is unusable.

Can I just say, I know
this is your real life,

but producer hat, I need
to look at it and be like,

"The girl has cancer.
I'm sad because she has cancer."

- Can you do that?
- Yeah.

- Got it, yeah. Of course.
- Also,

what is the deal?

Is Jackie coming back or no?

Um, duh. Of course
she's coming back.

Okay, well, I know
you guys are, like,

little friends or whatever,

so you better fucking make sure
that she does.

Okay? Because you don't
just let Patricia down.

- Right.
- Okay?

Because that woman
is a goddess, okay?

And she's taking care
of you, me, everyone here

more than any of us know.

And who takes care of her? Hmm?

Who's really there for her?
Tell me.

Well, I mean, you are, right?

No. No, I'm not. I'm nothing.

I'm like a little bug
that's nothing.

[phone chiming, vibrating]

Shit.

I have to take this.
It's Europe.

Quirky, upbeat music

[Beth Ann]
You know, I think

you and I should have
a little talk about

what happened the other night,
because I've, like,

never, ever, ever
done anything like that.

- Mm-hmm.
- And, um...

I don't know,
I think we should, like,

keep that to a one-time thing.

That's fine by me, sweetie.

Yeah, but, like... [exhales]

It was frickin'
incredible, right?

You think?

Yeah.

Perry, we fucked
for, like, ten minutes.

I, like...

This is so embarrassing,
but for the longest time,

I thought you were, like, gay.

Oh, gay, straight.

L-O-L. What is this? The '90s?

- [chuckles]
- Honey, I fuck.

I know.
[laughs]

Yeah, but I'm glad
you had a good time.

Boop.

Hold that for me?

Hey, Danny, wait up.

[inhales]

Did you and Perry hook up?

What? What?

[laughs]

- What?
- Uh, look, just so you know,

I took three credits
at community college

in body language, and the way
he handed you that donut,

I am strongly getting
that you guys hooked.

Okay, could you just...
[shushes]

Been a, please don't
tell anybody that.

I don't know
what's going on, like,

I can't tell if he likes me.
Like, you're the expert.

Does he like me? Like,
I don't know what's going on

with my life right now, Been a.
I'm freaking out.

Whoa. [shushes]

Listen.

Do you remember years ago,
when the Dave Matthews Band

tour bus poured all that shit
from their septic tank

off a bridge
into the Chicago River

and it landed
on a bunch of people?

- Just head-to-toe in feces?
- Okay, sorry,

what does this have to do
with my situation?

Well, I was managing
Dave Matthews at the time.

And, sweetie, it was my decision

to dump those black tanks
into that river.

Dave told me not to, but I don't
take orders from talent.

The point is, I made a mistake.

But that's how we learn
what we truly want.

Read this.

Trust me,
it'll change your life.

"Act Like a Lady,
Think Like a Man."

Steve Harvey. Icon.

[Patricia] All right, people,
heads up.

Gather, gather, please.

Sit down.

We've got work to do.
Let's go, let's go, let's go.

We are three days out
from Cancerthon.

Just a reminder, we have to sell

one million dollars' worth
of merchandise in the first hour

or we don't make real money.

So, I need everyone
together on this.

Where's Jackie?

Oh.

Hello, Jackie.
[chuckles]

No, I don't need a coffee,
you silly goosie,

just get your little bottom
over here.

[clears throat]
What's that?

Oh, you were just
being impulsive

but now it's all okay?
[chuckles]

We do all have those days.

Yeah. Okay, bye.

Jackie will be here any minute.
Crazy traffic.

Um, I think
Jerry Seinfeld's in town.

I wonder what kind
of classic car he's driving.

- [chuckles]
- I don't know who that is.

Jerry Seinfeld?

[Patricia]
We're done here.

[Darcy]
Yes, of course. Final sale.

Of course. I guess
my only issue with that

is I'm on the website right now
and it does not say final sale.

No, yeah, and I was
on the website, obviously,

when I bought the bag,
and it didn't say final sale.

More than happy to do that.

I am on the site now
and it says,

"All sales are final...
are final."

So I guess it says that
and you were right.

[laughs]

Okay, well,
what's the exception?

You do in-person returns
in France.

Okay, well, that will be
perfect for me.

Good. No, I'll just do that,
and thank you so much

and take care and merci.

[screams]

I think I know where Jackie is

and I think we should
go see her together.

- No.
- Uh...

Fuck!

- Uh...
- Let's go.

(Atmospheric music)

[door opens]

[Jackie]
Oh, hey. Come on in.

Jesus, Jackie.

[Jackie]
Do you want to sit down?

- W-Where should I do that?
- Here.

- Sit down.
- [jingling]

Here, you can sit right here.

Here, I'll clear this off.
Come in.

Take a seat. Here.

- You can sit here.
- No, you can sit there.

- Okay. Uh...
- [Jackie] I have bells

from 49 states,
I just need to get

- a good Minnesota.
- Oh, wow.

- [bells jingling]
- [Jackie] They're fun.

[clattering]

Just gonna move this
for one second.

Do you guys want something
to drink?

Want a glass of water?

Yeah, I had some water
on the way over.

[clattering]

Well, I have really good
fresh mint lemonade, if you...

[muttering]

Glass of wine or something?

[clears throat]

Jackie, baby.

I think you need help.

[Joanna]
I think we all could use

- a little bit of help, right?
- No, no, no.

She has a problem.

What do you want, Pat?

We need to talk.

- Let's talk.
- Love to talk.

Actually, Pat,
I've been thinking a lot

about what I want to say to you,

and I would like
to offer an apology.

It was unprofessional of me
to not show up at Beautiful You,

and for that, I am sorry.

[Joanna]
Apology.

Aww.

When are you coming
back to work?

But...

the fact that we haven't
been in alignment

is an important message
that I really think

I need to receive
from the universe.

So on that note,

I do have to say that I don't
see an authentic path forward

for me at SVN.

[Joanna]
What?

Jackie.

Just watching Joanna go through

her battle has made me realize
how short life can be.

Wait a minute,
wait a minute, wait.

What are you saying exactly?

Well, what I'm trying to say

is that I think my time at SVN

has come to a natural
ending point.

And-and I think Joanna would
make the perfect successor.

[Joanna] Okay, all right,
I-I'm sorry, but, um...

Are we on MTV's Jackass?

Because, you know,
t-this feels like

it's just a big prank, you know?

Right, Jackie?
This is a big prank.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Okay.

You want to quit your job?

It is what it is.

Joanna,

you're the new host
of Beautiful You.

We done?

Sure, we're done. Yeah.

I guess. I mean...
[stammers]

Yeah. We're done, yeah.

Let's go.

[stammers]

What?

Well, your timing
isn't exactly ideal,

with Cancerthon in three days.

It would be nice if you could...

...still do your segment

and formally pass
the baton to Joanna.

Oh, my God, of course. Yes. Yes.

Joanna and I will do that
and-and I have

to say goodbye to my Jackalopes.

Fine.

Then we're done.

You two can figure out
your segment.

Okay, I just...
isn't there anything

that you-you want
to share with each other?

[stammers] Like, talk a-a
little bit more to each other?

Give a share?

You know,

Jackie,

you wonder why I don't trust
you to make your own decisions?

Look around you.

Look at this.

[cuckoo clock chiming]

[chiming stops]

[sighs]

I rode with her, so I should...

Yeah.

Somber music

Okay, so one idea I have that's
so good is I-I would, like,

descend from a giant staircase
in, like, angel wings?

Like, really dramatic
and spiritual, you know?

Oh, my God, that makes
total sense, because, like,

you are an angel, you know?

Oh, my God,
these chocolate-covered

espresso beans are so good.

[both]
One, two,

three, four, five!

They make me feel shaky
but I love them.

So then what would happen
is that, what I would say,

I'd say to my viewers, thank you
so much, you've all been

so loyal, I love you,
I love you, I love you,

and I'll be bequeathing
Beautiful You

to the lovely Joanna Gold,
and then...

- I'm listening.
- This is so cool. What would

happen is I would
lift up off the floor,

up high to the ceiling, it's
almost like it's a magic trick.

Like, special effects, kind of.

And I would go up,
up, up, up, up, up,

up into the heavens,
blasting away.

- Wouldn't that be great?
- Okay, I'm processing.

Now, my only question is,
what do I say next?

Well, just say
whatever you want to say.

I mean, say what feels natural.
Say what comes to you,

- from your heart, you know?
- Honestly,

if I'm saying what
I really want to say, I'd want

to say, like,
why are we even doing this?

Like, maybe this is
just a big mistake?

Oh, no, no. No way, no way,

because it's definitely
happening.

That's absolutely
not a possibility. Because

it's almost like Pamela says,
there's no mistakes...

- [both] Just happy accidents.
- Yes.

Hey, wait. Did you ever see
when Elton John played

at Lady Diana's funeral?

Oh, my God, yeah, it's my
favorite funeral of all time.

So that's exactly the vibe
that I want.

Like, not, like the sad
of it all, but, like,

- the glam of it all.
- Whoop!

Oh, my God.

Oh, no.

- Oh, thank God, it's okay.
- Oh, my God.

[sighs] My heart was pounding.

It's okay, it's fine.
I thought it cracked.

Wh-What is that?

This is what I stole
from Neiman Marcus

when Patricia had to come
bail me out.

They let you keep it?

No. No, actually,
a few months later

she just bought it for me
for my birthday.

That was so sweet of her.

Because she knew how much
I liked premium

feline home accents.

Gentle music

Jackie, why are you leaving?

Maybe I'm over thinking
this whole goodbye thing.

Maybe we should just do,
like, ten minutes of calls,

and then I'll turn it over
to you.

I mean, nobody likes
long goodbyes. Right?

Yeah, let's just do that.
Then we can be done.

[sighs]

Gentle music

[grunts]

[loud clattering]

Fuck.

[grunting]

[hold music playing]

- [shouting]
- Whoa.

Fuck. Perry,
what are you doing here?

I'm just looking for
a new concealer.

My old one cakes like a mother.

What are you doing?

Hey, you just in here
being sad?

[scoffs] No.

I'm on the phone with a buyer
from France,

trying to return a bag
because I'm a fucking idiot

- and a loser.
- Hey. No, you're not. Hey!

Please do not speak that way
about my sweet friend Darcy.

You don't get it.
I have to return this bag,

- or I'm in, like, deep shit.
- Okay.

[man] Monsieur,
thank you for holding.

Unfortunately, we cannot accept
your return at this time...

No, I know you said that
earlier, but you don't under...

- Shh... Hey, hey, hey!
- Perry, it's not...

Écoutez-moi, j'ai
trois millions de followers

sur TikTok, et je pense
qu'ils seraient très...

pissed

que vous avez baisé mon ami

pour un sac stupide.

Non, non, non.
Oui, j'ai dit baisé.

[man speaking indistinctly]

Alors tu vas arranger ça?

Ah. D'accord. Merci.

Done. It'll post in three
to five business days.

What?

Perry, oh, my God.

- Thank you so much.
- Yeah.

You have no idea how much
you just helped me.

Oh, my God, don't...
Hey, don't mention it.

Perry's got your back.
Give me a hug.

Come on, big hug,
you little crybaby.

You have no idea.
I was so fucked.

Oh... [shushing]

You just, like, saved my life.

Hey, it's okay.

- Thank you.
- Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

I need to find my way, hmm

Hey.

Hey.

[exhales]

What are you gonna do
after this?

You know, I'm not really sure.

Fuck you, you fucking keto fuck!

I'm leaving you 'cause
he's so much better than you,

and we did it from the front!

[continues indistinctly]

Yeah, fuck you, you fucking...

Such a messy bitch.

[both chuckle]

I know. So psycho.

[laughs]

[chuckles]

Are you sitting down?

I know you're getting ready for

the barn thing at
Laura's Vineyard,

but I have something important
to tell you.

What?

I'm, like, about to drop
a major truth bomb,

so don't scream.

What is it?

I slept with Perry.

That's okay.

- It's not even a big deal.
- You're right.

He's extremely not gay.
[laughs]

- Uh-huh.
- And...

...I'm leaving Austin.

Well, maybe that's good.
Maybe that's good.

Because you've been
thinking about that

way outside of Perry. Like,
Perry doesn't even matter.

No, no, I'm doing it
because of Perry.

I'm, like...

Oh, my God,
I'm in love with Perry.

Like as friends?

No, like...

Have you ever heard the term
"twin flame"?

Like, I think we're just, like,
meant to be, or something.

I brought the kids
to Sea World one time,

and we, like, swam with
dolphins, and it was insane.

And, like, that's the only other
time in my whole life

I've ever felt like this.

It did feel like that.

What?

I swam with dolphins, too,
once, Beth Ann.

You're not the only one who's
ever slept with a dolphin.

I'm gonna go get scissors,
'cause this is...

See you later.

Okay.

Gentle music

I knew you were
a fucking liar!

[laughs] You don't have cancer!

[laughs]

What are you talking about?

[mockingly]
"What are you talking about?"

That wasn't your doctor.

That was your dad
with the meatballs.

What?

Quiet music

Uh...

Um...

I-If you want to rat me out,

just... just go ahead.

Please. Really.

Okay? I... I get it.
I understand.

And I-I deserve it.

Just...

Just tell Patricia.

Oh. I...

Okay.

You want me to do it
for you,

because you're too much
of a little baby coward

to do it yourself.
[scoffs]

Wow, wow. Oh, my God.

I've been, like, jealous of you
this whole time,

but you're in hell.

No, I'm not gonna do
your dirty work.

Honey, you made this dirty
little dirt bed,

and now you have to lie in that.

Quirky music

Cut to me doing great because

I'm acting like a lady
and thinking like a man.

And I'm in love.

Contemplative music

[crying softly]

[crickets chirping]

Hi. Why are you still up?

Oh, hi.

Um... why are you still up?

Um...

I kind of want to, um...

Like, I want to tell you
something.

Okay.

I love you.

- What?
- Sorry.

[clears throat]
I love you.

And I you.

I... I love you, too.

[chuckles]

Gentle music

Mm.

Mmm. Come here.

[sighs]

Shit and piss.

Oh, my God, Mom.

What are you doing here?

We brought you
your photo albums.

I couldn't figure out
how to scan 'em.

You drove all the way here?

That's so nice of you, Mom.

We need to have a talk.

Your dad and I,
we've been talking,

and you need to figure some
things out for yourself.

Oh, like, um,

how to scan photos?

- I know how to do that.
- No.

I mean in life.

You and Dad both talked
about this?

[toilet flushes]

Yeah.
[clears throat]

We both talked about this.

Dad, did you wash your hands?

[sighs]
Chip.

What's been going on with you,
it's disappointing.

And we're not doing it
with you anymore.

It's just everything has gotten
so messed up at work,

and I just, I don't know
how to fix it anymore.

I need you guys
to tell me what to do.

Joanna, you're an adult now.

We don't make your decisions.

I'm not asking you
to make my decisions,

I'm just asking you
for some help.

And we've given you help,
Joanna.

[phone ringing, vibrating]

Hello and what?

[Darcy] Sit down. Something
insane just happened.

What?

We got Phillippe for Cancerthon.

I am losing my fucking mind!
Oh!

- Oh, my God.
- What's wrong?

I just didn't want to meet

Ryan Phillippe this week.

[sobbing]

You gotta figure this out
on your own.

That's it.

Mom?

I agree with your father.

Upbeat music

[indistinct chatter]

[man] Okay, let's go.
Let's clear the set.

[indistinct chatter]

Jackie, you ready for
one last one?

Oh, my God,
I can't believe it.

What about you, Joanna?

Um, could we, uh...

Could we, uh...

- What's wrong?
- Are you okay?

All right, people,
let's do this!

I need to tell you something.

- Patricia?
- What's going on, Joanna?

I-I need to tell you all
something, okay?

Oh, my God, you're scaring me.

No, I just, um, uh...

The-the thing is...
I'm not sick.

Okay? I-I haven't had cancer
this whole time.

I've just been lying.

What?

[quiet murmuring]

- [Jordan] Um...
- I'm so sorry.

- Uh...
- How could you do this to us?!

"All That She Wants"
by Ace of Base plays...

♪ She leads a lonely life ♪

♪ She leads a lonely life ♪

♪ When she woke up late
in the morning light ♪

♪ And the day had just begun ♪

♪ She opened up
her eyes and thought ♪

♪ "Oh, what a morning" ♪

♪ It's not a day for work ♪

♪ It's a day for catching tan ♪

♪ Just lying on the beach
and having fun ♪

♪ She's going to get you ♪

♪ All that she wants
is another baby ♪

♪ She's gone tomorrow, boy ♪

♪ All that she wants
is another baby ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ All that she wants is
another baby ♪

♪ She's gone tomorrow, boy ♪

♪ All that she wants
is another baby, yeah ♪

♪ All that she wants ♪

[man]
No traipsing.