I Love That for You (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - Daddy's Lil' Cookies - full transcript
You did this.
- Hello?
- Hey, Mama.
Are you at Patricia's right now?
No.
Yes, you are. She just texted me
to tell you to leave.
Well, why did you ask me
where I was if you already knew?
'Cause I'm toxic.
You have to leave right now.
- Did you, like, sleep over?
- Yeah.
What? Why?
What are you guys, like,
tight now or something?
No.
Um, I just, I slept here
because I passed out
from all the hot cocktails.
You know, we're talking
lemon dots, metropolitans.
Everything you can think of,
of the, of the finest top shelf.
Look, did something weird
happen last night?
'Cause she's in a mood.
No.
Patricia thanks you
for your time.
- What?
- It's a fuck basket.
Oh, come on.
What?
Fuck me.
Excuse me.
- Hey.
- Oh.
- Same clothes.
- Oh, what?
Uh, walk of shame?
Oh, my God. Oh, yeah.
You know me, just skanking it up
all over town in the...
Oh. Um, fun.
Oh. Oh, my God,
I'm just kidding.
Don't worry, I only want
to have sex with you.
What?
Uh, actually,
I have to get going.
I'll bid you adieu, my lord,
and... Okay. Bless.
Why? Why?
- Fuck.
- Oh, Peach, wait up.
Will you walk with me
to the product meeting, please?
- Oh, sure.
- Can I ask you a quick question?
Do you think I took things
too far with Patricia yesterday?
Be honest.
Or am I over thinking it?
Oh, yeah, um...
Wait a minute.
Pump the brakes.
You, little missy, are wearing
the same clothes as yesterday.
- Oh.
- Looks like someone
- had a little fun last night.
- No. Yeah.
- Did you?
- No. No, no, no.
- Come on.
- No, no, no, no, no.
I-I really, I didn't. I, um,
I didn't have sex with anyone.
Um, I actually ended up
staying the night at Patricia's.
Wait, what?
Oh, yeah, just because
I was totally just so wasted.
So you guys had,
like, a sleepover?
We just mostly watched TV
and ate Rolos.
Did it seem like she was
eating them about me?
Uh, I don't think so.
Whatever.
Why do I even care
what she thinks?
I mean, who cares?
It's so obvious she's just
using you as a pawn
because she knows
we're like sisters.
Ugh, I need to text Pam.
- Oh, who's Pam?
- She's my astrologer.
Well, she was
originally my lawyer,
but then she got disbarred.
It wasn't her fault, though,
it was a misogynist judge.
Anyway, she's a full-time
astrologer now
and she is so good.
We should do
a session together.
- Oh, that sounds fun.
- Yeah.
Oh, she will really help us,
I'm telling you.
We're both
going through so much.
- Especially you.
- Oh, yeah. Totally.
We should sit down.
Last night was a big success.
We signed with
American Cure Foundation
for our charity weekend,
so I need everyone
to really focus up, yes?
I guess I'm officially
a Rolohead now.
Hey, gurl, hey.
I'm not your gurl, girl.
I just... Sorry,
I just wanted to see
how you were doing,
um, after last night.
What about last night?
Oh, just, um,
with your whole...
Diagnosis.
I'm not doing this with you.
I know it's a lot
to process, and...
you know,
I've been through it.
Joanna, we are not the same.
Well, I know, but I...
The doctor who did my biopsy
was in a fucking rush.
No doctor my whole life
has ever looked me
in my goddamn eyes.
I'm so sorry.
Oh, you can keep your sorry.
Because I'll be damned
if I'm made to feel
like a burden
to some Ivy League,
Dockers-wearing motherfuckers.
And I will not give them
the satisfaction
of telling me I have cancer.
Because you know
who'd love that?
Dr. Oz?
I turned that son of a bitch
down 20 years ago
and he never got over it.
Now, what I love about
Daddy's Lil' Cookies
is not just that they're loaded
with hand-cut chocolate chips,
but they're in this
little snack able size.
It eats almost like a nut.
Heaven.
Now, Daddy, let's get
a little info on you.
Is there a mommy in the picture?
'Cause she hit the jackpot
with you, didn't she, prince?
She actually passed away.
Oh, no.
I am so sorry.
Sending you my sincerest.
But I guess now we know
we got America's
hottest bachelor
on the show, don't we, Daddy?
Hey.
So, m-my name's actually Josh.
The company is named
after my dad.
- We were really close.
- Oh, yeah? How close were you?
Like, me, you, my hot tub
after the show close or what?
I'm kidding, Daddy.
It's just guys being guys,
having fun, eating cookies.
Morning. For you.
So...
heard last night
was a major success.
Okay, so, there we have
the jewelry report,
housewares, automotive,
and I printed out
some messages
from the key brands,
who, by the way,
love the charity angle.
They think it's gonna
push us ahead of HSN.
Oh, and, um, this same weekend
I'm away in Martha's Vineyard,
I realized, is the charity
event, but I don't want you
to worry, I'm gonna be remote,
I can bring both my phones.
- What?
- Oh, the...
the Martha's Vineyard trip
I'm taking?
Graydon Carter's barn warming?
I told you about this.
- I showed...
- No, no, no, no.
I need you here.
Oh, I cleared this with you,
like, weeks ago.
Damn it, Darcy.
I said I need you.
I'm sorry, I'm just
a little confused,
because I'm not important enough
to go to your charity dinner
but suddenly I'm too important
to go to a barn warming
that you know really
fucking matters to me?
Mm. So that's what
this is all about?
South Philly Bumpkin's
got his thong in a knot
'cause he didn't get
his mini-quiche.
- Well, that's low.
- You think Graydon Carter's
gonna give you a big,
New York fancy job, don't you?
He doesn't give a fuck
about you, Darcy.
You forget we're from
the same place?
Philly?
Want to know how I got fancy?
I worked my fucking ass off.
Now, how about you take
these fucking cookies
out of my office,
Daddy's little...
Okay, so the first big thing,
you can never
refer to these as "leather,"
it's "leatherette."
- Okay, got it.
- I'm not done.
I didn't think you were.
These are very intimidating
to people.
They're really tough to sell.
Traditionally,
leatherette pants are seen
as the pants of your
Mick Jaggers,
your Steven Tylers,
your Dog the Bounty Hunters.
Uh, right, well, you know, maybe
Jackie should be
selling these instead of me.
I mean, she always looks
so great in leather pants.
Leatherette.
And, yeah, obviously,
Jackie would be great at these,
but you're, like...
normal, you know?
You're-you're basic.
You're nothing special.
You're like a little piece
of milk with eyes.
And that's the point,
'cause if people see
that you can pull these off
and be a boss-ass bitch,
then they'll think,
"Hey, I can, too."
Patricia.
I'll make this quick.
It-It's about
the whole doctor thing.
- Oh, for fuck's sake.
- Did you know that my doctor
said that if I had waited,
you know, a-a moment longer
to get checked out,
I would be dead.
Dead. And then,
where would we be?
Not having this conversation.
Uh, look, um...
I get your skepticism
towards doctors. I do.
And I know that I'll never
be in your shoes.
But don't let some asshole
keep you from getting better.
I mean, you're
Patricia fucking Cochran.
You're a boss-ass bitch. Please.
I have a two o'clock
open tomorrow.
Bring your doctor to my office.
Oh. My doctor?
Oh, see...
Oh, the-the issue with...
I-I mean, that is, he deals
more with blood cancers...
I don't give a good goddamn.
Do you trust him?
Well, yeah.
Then that's who I'm talking to.
Two o'clock sharp.
You don't need to go
to Martha's Vineyard
to be fancy.
We're gonna go to the bar
at the top of the Marriott
and we are gonna have cosmos
and we're gonna have
mac and cheese balls.
And we're gonna
get wasted and, like,
who freakin' cares
about Carson Daly?
It's Graydon Carter.
From Vanity Fair.
Beth Ann, it's a classy magazine
that hosts the most coveted
Oscar party of the year,
that Salma Hayek goes to.
And this was my chance
to be in the barn
with a bunch of people
that could've gotten me
the fuck out of here!
Is he coming?
- Oh.
- Hello, Miss Gold.
Dr. Codish.
- Um, how am I feeling?
- What?
Uh, this is my boss Patricia.
Uh, Patricia, this is my doctor.
Hmm.
You're excused, Joanna.
- Oh, wouldn't it be good to...
- Maybe I could take notes...
Get the fuck out, Joanna.
Right.
Where'd you get
that beautiful shell?
Mallorca.
I have eight minutes.
Uh, so, um,
I understand that you've been
diagnosed with breast cancer.
I'm sorry to hear that.
And-and Joanna tells me
that you're having
concerns about, uh,
seeking care
and trusting doctors.
- Is that what she tells you?
- Yes.
And I'm not your physician,
and I, uh, can't speak
to your specific
medical situation.
But maybe I could
speak to you about
my personal experience.
You know, many years ago,
my daughter was
diagnosed with cancer.
And, uh, I went
through a few weeks
of just feeling like
it was all a nightmare
and that if, maybe
we didn't talk about it,
that it wasn't real.
But, you know,
it was already real.
A-And I know it's scary,
but one thing that helped me
was realizing that even though
some things would change,
a lot of things
would stay the same.
- Like what?
- Like...
the people who love you
and care for you.
That'll always be the same.
Well, that must be nice.
How's your daughter?
Uh, she's doing great.
Do you have any family
you could reach out to?
I have a son.
Have you told him
about what's going on?
It's time for my next meeting.
So, how did it go?
Is she gonna go to the doctor?
I don't know.
Um, w-well, can you go back?
Maybe she just needs
a little bit more convincing.
I don't think I can do that.
A-Are you okay?
No. I'm not.
That felt very bad, Joanna.
Oh.
I can't go back to that time
when you got sick.
It's just...
I thought...
Y-You thought what?
I thought you were gonna die.
Oh, um...
I-I never knew that.
Well, I probably shouldn't
have told you that.
I don't know how much longer
I can keep up this lie...
...for you.
I'm not like Mom.
I'm so sorry. I know.
Where's my goddamn...
- Oh.
- ...VitaminWater?
I got too scared in there
to ask for water.
I'm so thirsty.
Oh, your mom
packed these for you.
Oh, my God, meatballs. You want
to come over to my place
- and we'll warm these up?
- Can't.
I got to go.
Okay.
- That's okay. I understand.
- Yeah.
Oh, one-one last thing. Um...
I got the, um, sense
that Patricia
doesn't feel like
she has anyone.
Is-is there anyone she's close
to who could talk to her?
I just feel like her energy
is getting so toxic lately.
Yes, I feel that.
And your chart is showing
that you're very blocked
in your seventh house.
That's the house of transition,
- change.
- Huh.
Something's keeping you
from growing.
Patricia.
Is it Patricia, though?
I don't...
What have you been
holding back from yourself?
Well, guys, I've actually never
said this out loud to anyone,
but I have always dreamed
of living in Machu Picchu.
I don't think you can
live in Machu Picchu.
No, I'm pretty sure you can.
They have houses at the top.
Right, Pamela?
- Yeah.
- Yeah. They do.
And how amazing would it be
to be so close to Big Sur?
Oh, you know, I'm almost certain
that Machu Picchu is in Peru.
It's in Morocco.
Don't you just belong here,
at SVN?
You need to go
where the love is.
Aww.
Who's standing in the way
of your power?
Patricia, because she tries
to control me.
Nobody can control you but you.
- Mm-hmm.
- You have to show her that.
Does that resonate with you?
Oh, my God,
are you kidding, Pam? Yes.
You know what?
As I think about this,
I'm coming to this idea
that my soul has maybe
outgrown Patricia's,
and I need to set myself free,
you know?
Oh, interesting, 'cause, um,
what I'm sort of gathering
is that it's best to be kinder
to Patricia right now
and to be more of, um,
like, a-a team player.
Yeah, I'm not reading anything
that has to do
with being a team player
for Jackie at this time.
- Mm. Mm-hmm.
- Well,
I hate to break it to you, Pam,
but you're not a doctor.
Okay? You're just,
you're a star guesser.
And, you know,
if you're so all-knowing,
uh, what number am I
thinking of right now, Pam?
That's not really what I do,
but nine.
No.
That's really far off.
What number
am I thinking of now?
B.
Fuck you, it was a letter. Fuck.
Okay, now, we all love
a chic leather jacket.
- Don't say "leather."
- But you know, a lot of you
are saying to me,
"Joanna, how could I ever wear
a leatherette pant
or a polyvinyl slack?"
Now, I want you to open up
your mind to this piece.
Okay? Now, this could only come
from the incredible mind
of Janté.
Joanna, you're too kind.
All of us at Janté
wanted to create a chic,
buttery moment that was
flattering to the body,
and frankly, the soul.
What I love
so much about this piece
is that you can really
dress it up or dress it down.
You could throw in
a pair of tennies
with these slacks
and-and wear them
to pick up the kids from school,
or, you know,
throw in a strand of pearls
for, you know,
your house of worship.
Well, how about
a funky pump
for a night on the town?
Okay, ladies and gentlemen,
this is why we have Janté.
Oh, stop, stop.
Uh, Alicia, would you turn
to the left, please?
- Oh.
- Thanks, doll.
Now, I want you guys
to pay attention to the fit.
- Mm.
- Okay? The-the way it drapes
- and accentuates the curves.
- Ugh, incredible.
Yeah, I love that so very much.
Um, and, you know,
I want to speak directly
to the viewers at home
who-who may think
that these joggers
are too much of a risk,
you know, who are saying,
"I can't do this."
Because I promise you,
you can do this.
And even if you think
that people aren't
gonna love these joggers,
I'm telling you,
they will love them.
People love you so much.
And you are not alone.
And they're machine-washable.
I want to talk to you
about Crystal Buddiez.
- Mm-hmm.
- She's rose quartz.
She's for love problems.
- Aww.
- He's malachite,
for money stuff,
and this little moonstone guy,
this is for bringing travel
into your life.
Especially travel over water.
Ooh, I love that,
because I love cruises.
Oh, Pam, these are genius.
Okay, want, want, want, want.
I think I need them all.
How much are they?
$48 apiece,
but it's three for $130.
Ooh, that's good.
Okay, so can we just
add them to my session?
Sure, but can we talk
about your tab?
Oh, no. Did I forget to pay you?
Oh, I'm so sorry, Pam.
I've just been so scattered.
Forgive me.
Here, I can pay you now.
What is the damage?
Um, Jackie, it's almost $25,000.
Oh, my God, are you serious?
Really? Is it really that much?
Well, you had all those
solid gold Tibetan singing bowls
- you bought during retrograde.
- Oh, right.
I have an idea.
What if I paid you back
by selling the Crystal Buddiez
on my show?
Do you think you could
sell enough?
Pam, come on.
These are amazing.
This is exactly
the kind of thing
I've wanted to bring
my Jackalopes.
There is nothing
like this on SVN.
Trust me, mark my words,
they're gonna be a hit.
And thank you so much
for the session today.
I really feel like
we're making huge discoveries.
- Thank you as well.
- I love you, Pamela.
Okay.
Mrs. Cochran...
Ms. Cochran.
"Ms. Cochran."
Sorry about that.
So, how are we feeling?
Like we just got
diagnosed with cancer.
- What are my options?
- In your case,
I strongly recommend
we discuss a mastectomy.
How long do I have
to be off work?
Standard recovery time
is six to eight weeks.
Longer if you opt for the
immediate breast reconstruction.
Okay.
Patricia, where are you,
- where are you going?
- To get a fucking drink.
Yeah, he was
a Marine from Roxborough.
We met right here in this bar.
We drank, we laughed.
Before I knew it,
we're in the bathroom
where I fucked him so hard
I broke his dick.
I didn't know
that they can break.
We had to go to the ER.
Oh, my gosh.
This drink is so crazy.
I feel like I'm sort
of lightheaded.
Are-are you feeling this?
How is it you have
never had a martini?
Jesus.
But most importantly,
why are you wasting
your God-given pussy?
- Oh.
- The hell are you scared of?
Well, what are you so scared of?
Why did you walk out
of the doctor?
I ain't scared of shit.
You're the one
who should be scared.
'Cause if something
happens to me...
...your little dream job
goes away.
Everything goes away.
I don't see why everything
has to go away.
I mean, having cancer, it's just
one chapter of your life,
i-it's not your whole story.
Really? Well,
it's your whole story.
Cancer's your whole story,
it's your whole shtick.
It's all you ever talk about.
All you'll ever be.
Don't talk to me
about this shit again.
I mean it, Joanna.
Instead of worrying about me,
you worry about why
you're not getting laid.
How about that?
Cancer Girl.
Scoot over, baby.
♪ Birds flying high ♪
♪ You know how I feel ♪
♪ Sun up in the sky ♪
♪ You know ♪
♪ How I feel ♪
♪ Breeze ♪
♪ Drifting on by ♪
♪ You know how I feel ♪
♪ It's a new dawn ♪
♪ It's a new day ♪
♪ It's a new life ♪
♪ For me ♪
♪ And I'm feeling ♪
♪ Good ♪
♪ And I'm feeling good ♪
♪ Fish in the sea ♪
♪ You know how I feel ♪
♪ River running free ♪
♪ You know how I feel ♪
Hey.
Blossoms on the tree,
you know how I feel
Wow.
♪ It's a new dawn,
it's a new day ♪
♪ It's a new life ♪
♪ For me ♪
♪ For me ♪
Oh.
I'm gonna break your dick.
Huh?
Oh, you know what?
This is distracting me.
- That's my grandpa.
- Oh, yeah.
Get out of here, Grandpa.
He survived Auschwitz.
- Oh, damn.
- Yeah. Here.
Quickly gonna turn down
my grandma, also.
She also survived Auschwitz.
Uh...
This grandma just died
in her sleep.
Uh, my cousin.
She's a huge bitch.
Oh, uh, let me. Sorry,
I-I strained my rotator cuffs.
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
- It's okay.
♪ Birds ♪
♪ The sun ♪
♪ The breeze ♪
♪ The fish, the river ♪
♪ The blossoms on the tree ♪
Now I'm in button land
and I'm like,
"Oh, keep the buttons going...
Wherever they go."
Hey.
Hey.
♪ And I'm ♪
♪ I'm feeling ♪
♪ Good ♪
No traipsing.
- Hello?
- Hey, Mama.
Are you at Patricia's right now?
No.
Yes, you are. She just texted me
to tell you to leave.
Well, why did you ask me
where I was if you already knew?
'Cause I'm toxic.
You have to leave right now.
- Did you, like, sleep over?
- Yeah.
What? Why?
What are you guys, like,
tight now or something?
No.
Um, I just, I slept here
because I passed out
from all the hot cocktails.
You know, we're talking
lemon dots, metropolitans.
Everything you can think of,
of the, of the finest top shelf.
Look, did something weird
happen last night?
'Cause she's in a mood.
No.
Patricia thanks you
for your time.
- What?
- It's a fuck basket.
Oh, come on.
What?
Fuck me.
Excuse me.
- Hey.
- Oh.
- Same clothes.
- Oh, what?
Uh, walk of shame?
Oh, my God. Oh, yeah.
You know me, just skanking it up
all over town in the...
Oh. Um, fun.
Oh. Oh, my God,
I'm just kidding.
Don't worry, I only want
to have sex with you.
What?
Uh, actually,
I have to get going.
I'll bid you adieu, my lord,
and... Okay. Bless.
Why? Why?
- Fuck.
- Oh, Peach, wait up.
Will you walk with me
to the product meeting, please?
- Oh, sure.
- Can I ask you a quick question?
Do you think I took things
too far with Patricia yesterday?
Be honest.
Or am I over thinking it?
Oh, yeah, um...
Wait a minute.
Pump the brakes.
You, little missy, are wearing
the same clothes as yesterday.
- Oh.
- Looks like someone
- had a little fun last night.
- No. Yeah.
- Did you?
- No. No, no, no.
- Come on.
- No, no, no, no, no.
I-I really, I didn't. I, um,
I didn't have sex with anyone.
Um, I actually ended up
staying the night at Patricia's.
Wait, what?
Oh, yeah, just because
I was totally just so wasted.
So you guys had,
like, a sleepover?
We just mostly watched TV
and ate Rolos.
Did it seem like she was
eating them about me?
Uh, I don't think so.
Whatever.
Why do I even care
what she thinks?
I mean, who cares?
It's so obvious she's just
using you as a pawn
because she knows
we're like sisters.
Ugh, I need to text Pam.
- Oh, who's Pam?
- She's my astrologer.
Well, she was
originally my lawyer,
but then she got disbarred.
It wasn't her fault, though,
it was a misogynist judge.
Anyway, she's a full-time
astrologer now
and she is so good.
We should do
a session together.
- Oh, that sounds fun.
- Yeah.
Oh, she will really help us,
I'm telling you.
We're both
going through so much.
- Especially you.
- Oh, yeah. Totally.
We should sit down.
Last night was a big success.
We signed with
American Cure Foundation
for our charity weekend,
so I need everyone
to really focus up, yes?
I guess I'm officially
a Rolohead now.
Hey, gurl, hey.
I'm not your gurl, girl.
I just... Sorry,
I just wanted to see
how you were doing,
um, after last night.
What about last night?
Oh, just, um,
with your whole...
Diagnosis.
I'm not doing this with you.
I know it's a lot
to process, and...
you know,
I've been through it.
Joanna, we are not the same.
Well, I know, but I...
The doctor who did my biopsy
was in a fucking rush.
No doctor my whole life
has ever looked me
in my goddamn eyes.
I'm so sorry.
Oh, you can keep your sorry.
Because I'll be damned
if I'm made to feel
like a burden
to some Ivy League,
Dockers-wearing motherfuckers.
And I will not give them
the satisfaction
of telling me I have cancer.
Because you know
who'd love that?
Dr. Oz?
I turned that son of a bitch
down 20 years ago
and he never got over it.
Now, what I love about
Daddy's Lil' Cookies
is not just that they're loaded
with hand-cut chocolate chips,
but they're in this
little snack able size.
It eats almost like a nut.
Heaven.
Now, Daddy, let's get
a little info on you.
Is there a mommy in the picture?
'Cause she hit the jackpot
with you, didn't she, prince?
She actually passed away.
Oh, no.
I am so sorry.
Sending you my sincerest.
But I guess now we know
we got America's
hottest bachelor
on the show, don't we, Daddy?
Hey.
So, m-my name's actually Josh.
The company is named
after my dad.
- We were really close.
- Oh, yeah? How close were you?
Like, me, you, my hot tub
after the show close or what?
I'm kidding, Daddy.
It's just guys being guys,
having fun, eating cookies.
Morning. For you.
So...
heard last night
was a major success.
Okay, so, there we have
the jewelry report,
housewares, automotive,
and I printed out
some messages
from the key brands,
who, by the way,
love the charity angle.
They think it's gonna
push us ahead of HSN.
Oh, and, um, this same weekend
I'm away in Martha's Vineyard,
I realized, is the charity
event, but I don't want you
to worry, I'm gonna be remote,
I can bring both my phones.
- What?
- Oh, the...
the Martha's Vineyard trip
I'm taking?
Graydon Carter's barn warming?
I told you about this.
- I showed...
- No, no, no, no.
I need you here.
Oh, I cleared this with you,
like, weeks ago.
Damn it, Darcy.
I said I need you.
I'm sorry, I'm just
a little confused,
because I'm not important enough
to go to your charity dinner
but suddenly I'm too important
to go to a barn warming
that you know really
fucking matters to me?
Mm. So that's what
this is all about?
South Philly Bumpkin's
got his thong in a knot
'cause he didn't get
his mini-quiche.
- Well, that's low.
- You think Graydon Carter's
gonna give you a big,
New York fancy job, don't you?
He doesn't give a fuck
about you, Darcy.
You forget we're from
the same place?
Philly?
Want to know how I got fancy?
I worked my fucking ass off.
Now, how about you take
these fucking cookies
out of my office,
Daddy's little...
Okay, so the first big thing,
you can never
refer to these as "leather,"
it's "leatherette."
- Okay, got it.
- I'm not done.
I didn't think you were.
These are very intimidating
to people.
They're really tough to sell.
Traditionally,
leatherette pants are seen
as the pants of your
Mick Jaggers,
your Steven Tylers,
your Dog the Bounty Hunters.
Uh, right, well, you know, maybe
Jackie should be
selling these instead of me.
I mean, she always looks
so great in leather pants.
Leatherette.
And, yeah, obviously,
Jackie would be great at these,
but you're, like...
normal, you know?
You're-you're basic.
You're nothing special.
You're like a little piece
of milk with eyes.
And that's the point,
'cause if people see
that you can pull these off
and be a boss-ass bitch,
then they'll think,
"Hey, I can, too."
Patricia.
I'll make this quick.
It-It's about
the whole doctor thing.
- Oh, for fuck's sake.
- Did you know that my doctor
said that if I had waited,
you know, a-a moment longer
to get checked out,
I would be dead.
Dead. And then,
where would we be?
Not having this conversation.
Uh, look, um...
I get your skepticism
towards doctors. I do.
And I know that I'll never
be in your shoes.
But don't let some asshole
keep you from getting better.
I mean, you're
Patricia fucking Cochran.
You're a boss-ass bitch. Please.
I have a two o'clock
open tomorrow.
Bring your doctor to my office.
Oh. My doctor?
Oh, see...
Oh, the-the issue with...
I-I mean, that is, he deals
more with blood cancers...
I don't give a good goddamn.
Do you trust him?
Well, yeah.
Then that's who I'm talking to.
Two o'clock sharp.
You don't need to go
to Martha's Vineyard
to be fancy.
We're gonna go to the bar
at the top of the Marriott
and we are gonna have cosmos
and we're gonna have
mac and cheese balls.
And we're gonna
get wasted and, like,
who freakin' cares
about Carson Daly?
It's Graydon Carter.
From Vanity Fair.
Beth Ann, it's a classy magazine
that hosts the most coveted
Oscar party of the year,
that Salma Hayek goes to.
And this was my chance
to be in the barn
with a bunch of people
that could've gotten me
the fuck out of here!
Is he coming?
- Oh.
- Hello, Miss Gold.
Dr. Codish.
- Um, how am I feeling?
- What?
Uh, this is my boss Patricia.
Uh, Patricia, this is my doctor.
Hmm.
You're excused, Joanna.
- Oh, wouldn't it be good to...
- Maybe I could take notes...
Get the fuck out, Joanna.
Right.
Where'd you get
that beautiful shell?
Mallorca.
I have eight minutes.
Uh, so, um,
I understand that you've been
diagnosed with breast cancer.
I'm sorry to hear that.
And-and Joanna tells me
that you're having
concerns about, uh,
seeking care
and trusting doctors.
- Is that what she tells you?
- Yes.
And I'm not your physician,
and I, uh, can't speak
to your specific
medical situation.
But maybe I could
speak to you about
my personal experience.
You know, many years ago,
my daughter was
diagnosed with cancer.
And, uh, I went
through a few weeks
of just feeling like
it was all a nightmare
and that if, maybe
we didn't talk about it,
that it wasn't real.
But, you know,
it was already real.
A-And I know it's scary,
but one thing that helped me
was realizing that even though
some things would change,
a lot of things
would stay the same.
- Like what?
- Like...
the people who love you
and care for you.
That'll always be the same.
Well, that must be nice.
How's your daughter?
Uh, she's doing great.
Do you have any family
you could reach out to?
I have a son.
Have you told him
about what's going on?
It's time for my next meeting.
So, how did it go?
Is she gonna go to the doctor?
I don't know.
Um, w-well, can you go back?
Maybe she just needs
a little bit more convincing.
I don't think I can do that.
A-Are you okay?
No. I'm not.
That felt very bad, Joanna.
Oh.
I can't go back to that time
when you got sick.
It's just...
I thought...
Y-You thought what?
I thought you were gonna die.
Oh, um...
I-I never knew that.
Well, I probably shouldn't
have told you that.
I don't know how much longer
I can keep up this lie...
...for you.
I'm not like Mom.
I'm so sorry. I know.
Where's my goddamn...
- Oh.
- ...VitaminWater?
I got too scared in there
to ask for water.
I'm so thirsty.
Oh, your mom
packed these for you.
Oh, my God, meatballs. You want
to come over to my place
- and we'll warm these up?
- Can't.
I got to go.
Okay.
- That's okay. I understand.
- Yeah.
Oh, one-one last thing. Um...
I got the, um, sense
that Patricia
doesn't feel like
she has anyone.
Is-is there anyone she's close
to who could talk to her?
I just feel like her energy
is getting so toxic lately.
Yes, I feel that.
And your chart is showing
that you're very blocked
in your seventh house.
That's the house of transition,
- change.
- Huh.
Something's keeping you
from growing.
Patricia.
Is it Patricia, though?
I don't...
What have you been
holding back from yourself?
Well, guys, I've actually never
said this out loud to anyone,
but I have always dreamed
of living in Machu Picchu.
I don't think you can
live in Machu Picchu.
No, I'm pretty sure you can.
They have houses at the top.
Right, Pamela?
- Yeah.
- Yeah. They do.
And how amazing would it be
to be so close to Big Sur?
Oh, you know, I'm almost certain
that Machu Picchu is in Peru.
It's in Morocco.
Don't you just belong here,
at SVN?
You need to go
where the love is.
Aww.
Who's standing in the way
of your power?
Patricia, because she tries
to control me.
Nobody can control you but you.
- Mm-hmm.
- You have to show her that.
Does that resonate with you?
Oh, my God,
are you kidding, Pam? Yes.
You know what?
As I think about this,
I'm coming to this idea
that my soul has maybe
outgrown Patricia's,
and I need to set myself free,
you know?
Oh, interesting, 'cause, um,
what I'm sort of gathering
is that it's best to be kinder
to Patricia right now
and to be more of, um,
like, a-a team player.
Yeah, I'm not reading anything
that has to do
with being a team player
for Jackie at this time.
- Mm. Mm-hmm.
- Well,
I hate to break it to you, Pam,
but you're not a doctor.
Okay? You're just,
you're a star guesser.
And, you know,
if you're so all-knowing,
uh, what number am I
thinking of right now, Pam?
That's not really what I do,
but nine.
No.
That's really far off.
What number
am I thinking of now?
B.
Fuck you, it was a letter. Fuck.
Okay, now, we all love
a chic leather jacket.
- Don't say "leather."
- But you know, a lot of you
are saying to me,
"Joanna, how could I ever wear
a leatherette pant
or a polyvinyl slack?"
Now, I want you to open up
your mind to this piece.
Okay? Now, this could only come
from the incredible mind
of Janté.
Joanna, you're too kind.
All of us at Janté
wanted to create a chic,
buttery moment that was
flattering to the body,
and frankly, the soul.
What I love
so much about this piece
is that you can really
dress it up or dress it down.
You could throw in
a pair of tennies
with these slacks
and-and wear them
to pick up the kids from school,
or, you know,
throw in a strand of pearls
for, you know,
your house of worship.
Well, how about
a funky pump
for a night on the town?
Okay, ladies and gentlemen,
this is why we have Janté.
Oh, stop, stop.
Uh, Alicia, would you turn
to the left, please?
- Oh.
- Thanks, doll.
Now, I want you guys
to pay attention to the fit.
- Mm.
- Okay? The-the way it drapes
- and accentuates the curves.
- Ugh, incredible.
Yeah, I love that so very much.
Um, and, you know,
I want to speak directly
to the viewers at home
who-who may think
that these joggers
are too much of a risk,
you know, who are saying,
"I can't do this."
Because I promise you,
you can do this.
And even if you think
that people aren't
gonna love these joggers,
I'm telling you,
they will love them.
People love you so much.
And you are not alone.
And they're machine-washable.
I want to talk to you
about Crystal Buddiez.
- Mm-hmm.
- She's rose quartz.
She's for love problems.
- Aww.
- He's malachite,
for money stuff,
and this little moonstone guy,
this is for bringing travel
into your life.
Especially travel over water.
Ooh, I love that,
because I love cruises.
Oh, Pam, these are genius.
Okay, want, want, want, want.
I think I need them all.
How much are they?
$48 apiece,
but it's three for $130.
Ooh, that's good.
Okay, so can we just
add them to my session?
Sure, but can we talk
about your tab?
Oh, no. Did I forget to pay you?
Oh, I'm so sorry, Pam.
I've just been so scattered.
Forgive me.
Here, I can pay you now.
What is the damage?
Um, Jackie, it's almost $25,000.
Oh, my God, are you serious?
Really? Is it really that much?
Well, you had all those
solid gold Tibetan singing bowls
- you bought during retrograde.
- Oh, right.
I have an idea.
What if I paid you back
by selling the Crystal Buddiez
on my show?
Do you think you could
sell enough?
Pam, come on.
These are amazing.
This is exactly
the kind of thing
I've wanted to bring
my Jackalopes.
There is nothing
like this on SVN.
Trust me, mark my words,
they're gonna be a hit.
And thank you so much
for the session today.
I really feel like
we're making huge discoveries.
- Thank you as well.
- I love you, Pamela.
Okay.
Mrs. Cochran...
Ms. Cochran.
"Ms. Cochran."
Sorry about that.
So, how are we feeling?
Like we just got
diagnosed with cancer.
- What are my options?
- In your case,
I strongly recommend
we discuss a mastectomy.
How long do I have
to be off work?
Standard recovery time
is six to eight weeks.
Longer if you opt for the
immediate breast reconstruction.
Okay.
Patricia, where are you,
- where are you going?
- To get a fucking drink.
Yeah, he was
a Marine from Roxborough.
We met right here in this bar.
We drank, we laughed.
Before I knew it,
we're in the bathroom
where I fucked him so hard
I broke his dick.
I didn't know
that they can break.
We had to go to the ER.
Oh, my gosh.
This drink is so crazy.
I feel like I'm sort
of lightheaded.
Are-are you feeling this?
How is it you have
never had a martini?
Jesus.
But most importantly,
why are you wasting
your God-given pussy?
- Oh.
- The hell are you scared of?
Well, what are you so scared of?
Why did you walk out
of the doctor?
I ain't scared of shit.
You're the one
who should be scared.
'Cause if something
happens to me...
...your little dream job
goes away.
Everything goes away.
I don't see why everything
has to go away.
I mean, having cancer, it's just
one chapter of your life,
i-it's not your whole story.
Really? Well,
it's your whole story.
Cancer's your whole story,
it's your whole shtick.
It's all you ever talk about.
All you'll ever be.
Don't talk to me
about this shit again.
I mean it, Joanna.
Instead of worrying about me,
you worry about why
you're not getting laid.
How about that?
Cancer Girl.
Scoot over, baby.
♪ Birds flying high ♪
♪ You know how I feel ♪
♪ Sun up in the sky ♪
♪ You know ♪
♪ How I feel ♪
♪ Breeze ♪
♪ Drifting on by ♪
♪ You know how I feel ♪
♪ It's a new dawn ♪
♪ It's a new day ♪
♪ It's a new life ♪
♪ For me ♪
♪ And I'm feeling ♪
♪ Good ♪
♪ And I'm feeling good ♪
♪ Fish in the sea ♪
♪ You know how I feel ♪
♪ River running free ♪
♪ You know how I feel ♪
Hey.
Blossoms on the tree,
you know how I feel
Wow.
♪ It's a new dawn,
it's a new day ♪
♪ It's a new life ♪
♪ For me ♪
♪ For me ♪
Oh.
I'm gonna break your dick.
Huh?
Oh, you know what?
This is distracting me.
- That's my grandpa.
- Oh, yeah.
Get out of here, Grandpa.
He survived Auschwitz.
- Oh, damn.
- Yeah. Here.
Quickly gonna turn down
my grandma, also.
She also survived Auschwitz.
Uh...
This grandma just died
in her sleep.
Uh, my cousin.
She's a huge bitch.
Oh, uh, let me. Sorry,
I-I strained my rotator cuffs.
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
- It's okay.
♪ Birds ♪
♪ The sun ♪
♪ The breeze ♪
♪ The fish, the river ♪
♪ The blossoms on the tree ♪
Now I'm in button land
and I'm like,
"Oh, keep the buttons going...
Wherever they go."
Hey.
Hey.
♪ And I'm ♪
♪ I'm feeling ♪
♪ Good ♪
No traipsing.