I Am... (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - I Am Nicola - full transcript

This program me contains
strong language throughout

Yeah, she looked beautiful.

I wonder what she'd be like
because, you know, she is different.

You know what, I was
really shocked by the... um

the name.

Yeah, good, really good.

You all right?

You all right?

Yeah, you? Yep. Good, thanks.

What've you got for dinner?

Pasta.



Nice.

You all right?

Yeah, good.

How are you?

Yeah, you seem stressed.

Stressed?

Yeah, you seem... No, I'm fine.

Well, something's bothered you.

No.

No, but, um

Ava and Barry are engaged.

Hmm.

They're going to Barcelona
for the weekend to celebrate.

Nice.



Yeah.

Why's that bothered you?

Huh? Why's it bothered you?

It hasn't bothered me.

You seem

upset by it.

I'm just saying how nice.

Yeah, I don't know why it's
had such an effect on you.

Well, she's having a better
day than I am, isn't she?

She's engaged, and she's
going to bloody Barcelona.

So?

What do you mean "so"?

Well, why has that

why's that affecting
you so much?

Well, just, you know

that's all I've heard all day.

What have I got to tell her?

What have I done? Where am
I going? Nothing. Nowhere.

It's like I don't know what
to talk about any more.

Because we're both busy and you know how busy
I am at work at the minute. We will go away.

Yeah, I'm busy as... It's not like we're
never going to go away again, is it?

Well, it feels like that
sometimes, I'll be honest.

I'm not asking
for an engagement,

I'm asking for, like, us
to just do shit together.

Just do things, because I
have nothing to talk about.

I'm a hairdresser, all I ask all day is,
"What are you doing? "Are you going anywhere?"

"Da-la-la-la-la," and
they ask me and I go,

"Nah, I'm just
going to go home,"

"cook, clean, go to
Ikea at the weekend."

Oh, right, I didn't realise our
life was so depressing for you.

No, I didn't mean it like
that. That came out wrong.

I just...

You can't let these people tell
you what's wrong with your life.

All right, there's no
need to let it bother you.

It's mental.

Honestly.

We've got a good life.

We've got our own space.

Two cars.

I know.

All right?

What we've got is good.

And you shouldn't be jealous
of other people. It's silly.

All right?

Yes, darling, are you?

Yeah.

Everything OK?

Yeah.

I'm really sorry, though.

What for?

For just

being

me.

For being really
difficult this week.

I'm just

I'm sorry.

It's not your fault.

I don't know why I'm
taking it out on you.

Thank you.

I was wondering
what I'd done wrong.

You haven't.

You haven't done anything wrong.

Just my stupid head.

Hey, come on,

you're just very
sensitive... I'm sorry.

That's all it is.
I know. I'm sorry.

Well, thank you. I
won't be any more.

You just let things
bother you too much,

you get all het up
and... I know, I know.

Just me and you chilling
tonight. Can't wait.

I'll cook us some food.

I'm out tonight.

Are you? What, at the gym?

No, I'm going for a
drink with the girls.

I texted you. What, out, out?

Well, to the pub.

It's not out, I'm going
in my work clothes.

But... Oh, right.

You text me?

Yeah. Last week.

Emily's birthday.

Oh, right.

I didn't... I
didn't... I didn't...

I don't remember getting that.

Thought we could have a night
together in front of the telly.

But, hey, it's your
friend's birthday, so...

No, I don't...

It's not a big birthday
and it's only the pub,

I don't have to go.

It's not, like, her 30th
or anything like that?

No, she's like 32, 33.

Oh, right.

Um, I don't have to
go, I'll cancel it.

I mean... No, I'll
cancel it, it's fine.

I'll text her now.

I think that's the right
decision anyway, darling. I think

you're quite tired
at the minute, and

I'll make us something
nice for dinner.

You can come back,
put your feet up.

I'm sure she'll understand.

You see them all day at
work anyway, don't you?

No, I know.

Kiss, kiss.

See you in a bit. Have
a good day, darling.

Wish her a happy
birthday from me.

Yeah.

Sorry about that.

We're running out
of milk, aren't we?

I don't know, I didn't notice.

Yeah, we are.

I can't see much
in the fridge, bab.

Did you do some shopping?

No.

What did you want?

Don't know, I just don't feel
that inspired, that's all.

But I'll write a little
list out or something.

I'm sure you will, yeah.

Yeah.

I thought you were
doing the cooking?

Yeah, I was going to, but

you do it so much
better, don't you?

No, I know.

What do you fancy?

I'm not sure.

Are you all right? I just want
to make sure you're all right.

I'm fine. OK.

What do you want for tea? You
can tell me anything, you know?

I know, but maybe
I'm just hungry.

What do you want for tea?

Um

Hmm... pasta bake maybe?

Well, I've got everything
in that you should need

for pasta bake.

So... Perfect.

There we go.

Going out?

Yeah, I'm going to the gym.

Oh

Really?

I just

I thought I was supposed
to be making pasta bake.

Um... well, I
won't be that long.

I'm just

I'm in the mood, so

might as well take
it whilst it's here.

You can come with
me, if you like?

Ah, no, I don't really

don't really fancy it today.

I'm not

I'm not dead happy
about the leggings.

What? I just don't

I don't feel like.

I just don't think
it's appropriate.

Appropriate? Yeah.

I'm not wearing hot pants,

Adam, they're leggings. Yeah.

I'm completely covered.

I mean, you're just
working out, are you?

Yeah.

So, who's this for?

What?

This. Who's this for?

This is... ..this is
just clothes I've bought.

And you've seen me in before.

Fine.

You know how I feel,
I've said my bit.

So, can I go, or not?

ADAM SCOFFS

Well, look, if I go to
the gym and I come back

and we've got a massive
problem, I'd rather not go.

Fine. Fine. No, Adam, I'm not
going to go to the gym now...

No, go to the fucking
gym. ..because of this.

Just go. Do what you want.

I don't give a fuck.

Honestly, just do what you want. Well, no,
I give a fuck now because this has happened.

Do what you like.

Oh, God, babe, listen.

Get your gym bag.

No, I'm not going.

Adam.

What is this, like...?

I just feel like this
is for somebody else.

Oh, my God, right, so
you think I'm cheating.

Don't put that on me.

I don't necessarily think
you're cheating, I just think

you probably like the
attention off other guys.

I don't talk to them.

I don't.

Why are you being so funny
with me? I don't get it.

I just feel weird. I feel like I
can sense a weird energy from you,

and I'm just, I don't know...

I'm not being weird,

I'm being

normal.

It just...

It just worries me, you know?

I just love you so much.

Yeah, I know.

Good morning.

Thanks.

How you feeling?

Yeah, fine. You sleep OK?

Mm.

I, I owe you an apology.

And I'm sorry.

I... I don't feel like I've

given you enough recently and,

and that's on me.

I know my jealousy
gets the better of me,

and I need to deal with it.

I shouldn't have
behaved like that.

You deserve to be
treated better.

And I know that I'm.

I'm not being as
good as I could be.

And I need to be making
more time and more effort.

Mm.

That's, yeah, I mean, I don't
really know what to say.

You don't. I'm not saying this
so that you have to say anything,

this is, this is all me.

And I just want you to know
that I'm going to change,

I'm going to make a conscious
effort to make sure that this

we don't get to
this place again.

I'm sorry. I love you.

I love you too.

I was thinking, I could
take you away, to sort of...

You don't need to do that.

You don't solve
things by just...

No, I know. You're
right, it doesn't,

and that's not... Honestly,
that's not why I'm doing it.

I just... we deserve
some time away.

We deserve some time
out of this house,

away from this street.
Oh, that would be nice.

Yeah. That's, you
know, for both of us.

We both need it. I need it
as well and it'll make me

be better you know.

I'm just, I'm at work every fucking
day and I'm sick of that office,

and it's not having... I don't
like myself at the minute.

No, you don't need to
say things like that.

No, I mean it, I'm not just...

Honestly, I'm not just
saying things, I mean it.

Where you thinking?

Well, I was thinking maybe
go and see a show in London.

What?

Yeah, I mean. As if.

You hate those things.

No, I know that you don't.

No, I love them. Yeah, exactly.

Babe, that's really sweet. Yeah?

Yeah. I'm excited.

I just

I fucking love you so much.

And I don't want to lose you

and I'm just worried that
I've been such a dick.

I'm not losing you.

You're not. It's
not. Look, it's fine.

We just... You know, this is what
happens, this is relationships.

One second, I thought that
was supposed to be Tuesday.

Oh, shit, yes. No,
he's right, he's right.

Yeah, no.

Brilliant.

Thank you, Sally.
I owe you. Bye-bye.

For fuck sake.

Night, Adam.

Ey up!

Hello!

What you doing?

You're late.

Yeah, what's happened? Nothing.

Thought you might have been at
work, booking the weekend in London,

is that why you're late?

No. No?

No, that's not why I'm late.

But you forgot?

Yeah, I forgot.

Yeah, I bet you did.

Cheers, Adam. Nice one.

It just... it just
slipped my mind.

No, I'm sure it
did. It always does.

You're selfish and

that's how you go.

So that's not happening
then, just so I'm sure.

No, it is, it will.

Just because I'd told
all the girls at work.

But it is going to happen.

Weeks has passed now.

Yeah. I... So, erm, just...
just be clear with me, Adam.

I am always... No, no,
no, just be... You're not.

You feed me bullshit

and you make out like
you're fucking perfect

and that you're going to do this,
and you're going to do that,

and it never sees the
light of day, does it?

So, I'd rather you don't
say anything at all,

and I know exactly where I stand
so I don't look like an absolute

twat at work when everyone around me
is doing a million different things.

And not because they
fucking booked it,

because their partners have
booked it, because they thought.

"Oh, I know, maybe they
want to do something,"

"maybe it's something for her."

I mean... But what
a wanker am I with,

when I'm at work and they're going,
"Oh, does Adam not do that for you?"

Does he fuck? He
doesn't do anything.

Because he just talks
shit all the time

and then I stupidly go
along with it, thinking.

"Oh, yeah, that's great". I
fucking just let you back in again.

Going silent again?
Playing the victim?

Is that what you're doing?

Yeah. I was waiting for
you to finish your piece.

Well, I was waiting for you
to apologise, but then I'm

so sick of hearing you say sorry at
the minute, I don't really want it.

So, you might as well just
play on your PlayStation,

do what you always do,
whatever is good for you,

because I'm sure you've probably
had a much busier day than I have.

Because you always have, it's
always, "I'm busy, work's too much."

Never worrying about how
my work might have been,

how busy I might have been.

I'm on my fucking feet all
day. What are you doing?

Sat down on your arse?

Do you know what?

There's nothing in for tea.

So, if you're hungry,
you'll have to go out.

No, I'm not going out.

I fucking... Do you know what?

This isn't fair.

You're not bothered, are you?

The one time I fucking
stand up for myself

and you stand there
doing fuck all.

Cos you don't give a shit,
do you? What can I say?

There wasn't a fucking gap
anywhere for me to say anything.

No, Adam, it's
all about actions.

I've heard it, I've
heard your fucking shit.

It's been going since I walked
through the bastard door.

Don't ever raise your
fucking voice at me again.

And don't ever point in my face.

If you want to get
fucking like that, Adam.

You're the one who started with me,
you're the one that got aggressive

with me as soon as I walked through
the door, not the other way around.

I didn't get aggressive,
that's such bollocks.

I was telling you how I am
because I'm so sick of it.

You know there's other men
out there, there's other guys,

there is men out there, they
exist, where they look after

people by thinking what they
want to do, and make sure

that they fucking
see things through,

instead of just talking
bullshit. Go and find one then.

Yeah, I might. If you think
someone will put up with this shit,

then go and find one then. Oh, my
God. Are you fucking joking, Adam?

I do everything for you,
I do all the cooking,

your fucking washing, your
ironing, your God knows what.

Yeah, I pay for it all.

Oh, fucking hell,
right, and I don't work?

I work my bollocks off, Adam,

and if this is a competition
of money, it's not going to

interest me because I'm not
interested in your fucking money.

You're the one that
brought money up.

No, you brought money up.

You said you're the one who earned.
I'm the one who does everything.

See everything in this house?
I've made it a home, not you.

You know, you want your tea?

Go and get your tea, Adam, I'm
sick of being your fucking mum.

Baby, you OK?

What you doing?

I just wanted to see if you're
all right. Yeah, I'm fine.

Nice of you to ask
halfway through the day.

What's going on?

I don't know, Adam. We
haven't spoke all day,

and we had a massive
argument last night.

So, I'm guessing we're just
being funny with each other?

I was giving you some space, and
then you're literally throwing

the pans back in the
cupboard so I thought...

What's on your mind? Talk to me.

Loads of stuff's on my
mind. Go on, then. OK.

I'm not... I'm not sure what's
happening at the minute.

I don't know where
your head's at, but

like... I don't know.

This just doesn't seem to
be working at the moment.

We're not working and we
haven't been for a while.

On top of all that crap last
night, there's your jealousy.

You know, saying what I do, the
way I do it, maybe what I wear.

Like.

I'm not going to lie,
alarm bells ring.

It's weird.

I just feel like we might
need to, I don't know,

I don't know if we need

a break or just a
massive chat, or just...

But we need to be
on the same page

cos something's got to change.

I'm not happy, Adam.

Do you not agree?

No?

No, I don't really see where
you're coming from, if I'm honest.

I think.

I think this has been blown
out of proportion a little bit.

I honestly don't recognise anything
you're accusing me of, so...

It's not an accusation, it's...
I'm telling you how I feel.

I think it's just a
bit silly, really.

OK. If I'm honest. I haven't
really got time for it.

All right.

Neither have I.

That's good. The boys
can have a drink. Yeah.

It's nice to see the
two of them together.

Yeah. I mean, they've never
really spoke, have they? Yeah.

It'll be good. Yeah.

The house is beautiful.
You're engaged.

I know. I mean, it's the
perfect thing, isn't it?

Do you know, I don't want to
be one of those smug fuckers,

but it really feels
like that. Yeah. Yeah.

Like it really feels
like that. Yeah.

Aw. I know.

Ugh, right, being all daft.

Do you want one of these,
love? Yeah, perfect.

Yeah? Are you good? Yeah, great.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah? You sure?

Yeah, all good. Yeah? Yeah.

Yeah.

Just, um...

No. No goss, really. No goss?

No. No goss.

Um...

What have we been doing?

No, nothing to report. No?

No.

I mean, I'm a
charcoal man, really,

but look at the amount of stuff I
can get on here. Yeah, that's huge.

And it just made sense.

Just easier, as well. It's like
having an oven outside, isn't it?

You just turn it on whenever
you want. Yeah. Yeah.

You got one? Have you got an...?

You haven't got an
outdoor space, have you?

We've got... Yeah, we have.
We ain't got... It's not...

We've not got it turfed, though.
So you haven't got any grass? No.

We've got one of those little
charcoal barbecues. Yep.

No, we're talking about doing
it up at the minute. Are you?

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, wow.

I find the list of
rules quite interesting

that she's got up for Barry.

I'm surprised Nicky's not
got one of them for me.

"Help others, work hard,

"share..." That's just
what... "be grateful."

NICOLA TITTERS Bit
fucking ridiculous, innit?

I was just saying, is that
how you keep him in line?

My mum got me that. Did she?
Yeah. Yeah, that's nice.

Hiya, babe. Please don't do
this, Adam. I'm begging you.

It feels good to have stuff like
that around you, though, doesn't it?

Yeah, exactly. It's good to
have a... I like a good quote.

If you need reminding.

Some people do, don't they?
Don't get that myself.

A good marriage
doesn't need rules.

It's just also good
vibes in the house.

You know, you want it
to be positive energy.

Perfect. Not perf...
Well...

Twisting my words.
I'm not saying that.

Do you mind if I have a fag?
Can I smoke? Yeah, it's fine.

Is that all right? I'll stand
up... I'll stand up on the grass.

Yeah, do you mind? Sorry, I'm
really queasy. It's not, um,

but I can't bear the smell.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, really?

Yeah, I can't bear it, it
makes me feel really ill.

What's up? Sorry?

What's up? You seem a bit edgy.

No, no, it's fine.

You never smoked,
then, Barry, no?

No, never smoked.

Even when you were young?

Well, I probably nicked one of my
mum's fags, but that's about it.

Don't need the prop. Don't
need it.

Do you get on with
your neighbours?

Yeah. Yeah, they're
lovely. Are they? Yeah.

I suppose you'd have to, wouldn't
you? Cos they're close, aren't they?

I mean, this is quite...

Think I'd put a trellis up
or something. Yeah, maybe.

Some flowers going across would be
nice. We've been doing inside first,

then we put the
conservatory on, so... Yeah.

Do you do this thing, Ava, with
the odd earring in? Like the...

Nicky likes to do this thing
with a, like, random earring in.

Oi, don't talk to her like that.

I'm just... I'm just saying.
It's... I'd never seen it before.

Yeah, I've got one there. You've
got one and all? Yeah, I've got one.

They're all doing it.
Yeah, see, matching.

Fashionable, aren't
you, bab? Mm-hm.

You are. You look
beautiful. Thank you.

Yeah, she does.

You should tell her a bit more.

Ah...

I tell her enough
actually. Do you?

Don't really like your
tone, mate, if I'm honest.

Oh, Adam. OK. Just
stop this now.

All I ask when people
come into this house,

is don't bring kind of
negativity, you know?

That's what we're trying
to build here, aren't we?

Are you saying I'm being
negative? Well, yeah.

And this is, you know...

We open our home to people who
want to be happy, you know, not...

We're happy. Are you trying
to say we're not happy?

It's not like that, it's just...
You don't talk like you're happy.

You don't talk to her
like she makes you happy.

Oh, you're telling me how to
treat my missus now, are you?

No, but, I mean, if I was you...
Barry. You know what I mean.

If you was with my missus, you'd
what? Obviously not, but if she's...

No, Adam. Want me to tell you what
I'd do if I was with your missus?

Is that the conversation you want to have?
He's not saying that. It sounds like it.

No, no... No, I'm not. I'm just saying
she's a really nice woman and...

Yeah, I know she is. Thank you.
Well, then treat her like that.

And I don't fucking appreciate
your... No, no, no. No, I don't.

Adam, he didn't mean it. If he's got
something he wants to say, say it.

But he doesn't get your sense of humour. Don't
hide in your fucking barbecue. I'm not hiding.

Listen, just calm down.

OK, just calm down.
I'm calm, I'm calm.

Sorry. Listen, calm down. I
know, it's fine. It's fine.

Do you know what, Ava, we
need to go anyway. Yeah.

You, like... You
seem really stressed.

No, not stressed. Everything's
absolutely fine. Well, he looks stressed,

and we don't need it around the baby. Don't
tell me if I'm fucking stressed or not.

All right? No, I've had enough of his
fucking... Calm down, Adam, please.

Please, don't swear.
What? Not in my house.

OK, you can leave.

You can leave if that's how you're going to be.
OK, we'll go. Yeah, we'll fucking leave. All right.

Cheers for the beer. Yeah.

Do you know what, it's fine.
We'll do it another time.

I'm not feeling very well.
I'm sorry. It's just a downer.

I'm so sorry.

Don't worry about it.

No, you know what...
No, no, no, no, no, no!

I'm telling you, you're not
doing that.

He's fucking laughing at me! No,
Adam! Are you laughing at me?!

Please, Barry. Leave it.
Will you just stop it?

Come on. Adam? Barry? That's
enough of that. For God's sake.

Please, I don't need it. I don't
need it. How old are you both?

Are you going to be all right? It's a
barbecue, Adam. I'm absolutely fine.

It's not a pub in deepest darkest
Nottingham. All right, Barry.

Adam, get in the car. I
didn't cause that fucker.

I'm not saying you did.
Just get in the fucking car.

Fucking prick. Honestly, Barry,
please don't. No, Barry, don't.

It wouldn't fucking happen.

I'm so sorry. Come to the
fucking car. No, no, no, no, no.

Right. Fuck off, will you? What's he coming
up to the car for? Why are you fronting up?

He's not fronting up. Come on,
leave it. OK? Leave it. Come on.

Nic, are you going to be all
right? I'm absolutely fine.

Are you sure? Yes.
She'll be fine.

I haven't been called
out since I was a kid.

What's the matter with him?

What the fuck are you doing? Just
fucking drive. I'm sick of it.

What the hell is going on? He's been
a fucking knob since I got here.

No, he hasn't. He's been
perfectly fucking fine.

He's been perfectly fucking perving
on you. He has not been perving.

What the fuck is wrong
with you? Whatever.

I've got a problem.

I know I have.

I'm so...

I've got issues that
need sorting out.

I just get so jealous.

And I get so angry.

I don't know why. I don't
know where it comes from.

But it just fucking
eats me up, man,

and my head is spinning
and I just see red.

And I know it's
ridiculous. And I know

that it's irrational. I just...

I don't know what to do.

Everything gets to me.

Men talking to you,
the clothes you wear...

The...

Everything.

I have to hold so much in.

Even when you just leave the
house, I fucking prang out.

I...

I know it's me.

What do you want me to
do to make this better?

However you think I should deal
with the situation, I'll do it.

I don't... I don't enjoy
upsetting you, babe, honestly.

I don't mean to do that.

That's never my intention.

Adam, please, will you stop
following me around the house?

Are you enjoying this?

I just...

Just stop following me.

It's weird.

This is fucking weird.

You can see I'm upset.

Just fucking ignoring me.

Do you think that's the
best thing to do, is it?

I've nothing to
say to you, Adam.

I don't feel sad or upset.

I just... feel... like I have
nothing left to say to you.

Great. So, just best if...

So, that's it, then, is it?

If that's how you feel, then that
may as well be it then, really. OK.

If that's what...

If that's what you think.

Well, it's obviously what you
think. That's where your head's at.

I just want peace, Adam. I just
want some peace. I just want

some time

to not have to deal
with your shit.

You know, you're not feeling
well, it's your problem.

You, you, you, all the time.

So I'm staying out of your way.

Where are you going?

Huh?

What you doing?

I'm going away for a bit.

We need some space.

What are you...? Are you
leaving me? No, I'm...

I've just spoke to my mum. I'm going
to go and stay with her for a few

days, weeks, whatever
this takes to get this...

Please, don't. Please. No, no, Adam.
Don't give me, "Please, don't."

I can't not have you here.

I've spoke to my mum, so I
don't want it to seem weird.

So I'm going to have to go for
at least a few days and I need...

I actually need it, Adam.

Like, just remember, like,
how I feel in this situation.

Please, just stay.

We'll just... We'll
just talk it through.

Can't we?

I don't think now is the right
time to talk. Yeah, but...

Please.

Baby, Nicky.

Please.

I can't cope. I won't be able
to cope. I can't. You will.

You'll be fine. Adam, please.
I'm begging you... I can't.

Don't do this to me. I
promise you. I'm begging you.

Don't do this. I don't feel right
in my head. I don't feel well.

I won't be able to do this.

I can't even think about it.

Please, I just want to sort it.
Let me sort it. I just want to...

I can't.

Let me just go for one night.

Just one night, Adam.

Just be silent. Just think
about what you're doing.

Think about what we're doing.

Think about where this is going
to end up if this carries on.

Just let me go for
one night, then.

And I'll text you in the
morning and we can talk

and we can have a
proper conversation.

I don't want to talk to you while
you're like this. Don't leave me.

I'm not leaving you. I just
need some fucking space.

I can't cope without you.

I don't want to do this.

I don't want to
do this any more.

If I can't...

If I can't have
you, then I'm not...

I don't... There's no point.

Oh, God, don't do
this. There isn't.

There isn't any point. What's the
point? I don't have anybody, yeah.

Please don't do this.

I don't have anybody,
do I? I only have you.

Adam, I'm not
saying... Listen, shh.

I don't want you
talking like that. OK?

It just scares me.

I'm
only asking you for one night.

Oh, God.

Please don't go. OK.

Please. OK. I won't go.

I'm really sorry
about Sunday, Ava.

I don't know what was
going on with Adam.

God knows what's
going on in his head.

Yeah. It's OK.

I do love him.

I can tell you do.

I can tell.

Yeah.

I'm lucky, we both are.

Aren't we? Yeah.

Yeah, really lucky.

It's just so nice to say what
you mean, and mean what you say.

Yeah, yeah... and know that
they mean it as well. Yep, yeah.

And you see people, and you
look at them and you think,

"God, that looks
hard." Mm, yeah.

And for a change,
it's not you. Yeah.

And it makes a difference,
doesn't it? Yeah.

Like wherever he is, or wherever you
are... Yeah, yeah... in the room,

it's just, you're just...
No-one's pretending,

and you're not trying to put
on a show for other people.

I hate that.

Yeah.

Or pretending it's all
right, when it's not. Yeah.

You know when you feel it, and you
go, "I feel like it's for ever?"

Yeah. Yeah.

Like, I can't see.

I can't see my life
without him. Mm.

No, no, it's good, it's lovely.
Oh, I'm so happy for you, babe.

Anyway, it'll be you soon.
Hey, stop saying that.

It will, you'll be next.
It's all about you now.

I know, but I can hear wedding bells
for you, I can, it'll be lovely.

Two married old ladies.

Right, see you soon.
See you in a bit, babe.

Ta.

You OK, darling?

Mm.

Do you want me to run
you a bath or anything?

No.

We're OK now, though, right,

you don't need to talk
about anything? No.

Talk to me, darling.

You know, I'm all right now, and

we're going to be good now,
we're going to be better.

It's just...

I can't.

I can't just act like
everything's all right, Adam.

I just can't keep doing this.

It's not, it's not all right.

I'm not happy.

You don't make me happy.

And you just think that

we're all right now, don't you?

You think you can just carry
on as normal, and I can't.

But as long as you feel like
you're all right, we're all right.

If you need me to help you
do anything or... Do what?

I don't know, what
do you need me to...

If you'd have helped me,
Adam, you'd have let me go.

But you didn't

because you threatened
me with guilt

that if I leave, you die.

This isn't what love
should feel like, Adam.

This isn't it.

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