How to Sell Drugs Online (Fast) (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Life's Not Fair, Get Used to It - full transcript

Lisa lands in trouble with her parents. Moritz reprograms MyTems into an online drug store and tries to make amends to Lenny.

Lisa, are you up? Come down here!

- Lisa, we'll be late for math!
- Oh, God.

- Why didn't you wake me up earlier?
- I was cleaning up!

Fritzi, move it!
You don't know my parents!


Hi. We weren't expecting you.

Fritzi, parents. Parents, Fritzi.

- Hi, Gerda. Everything okay?
- Yeah, it's good.

We have to go. See you later.

You stay here! Did you forget about
your coaching for college applications?

It sure cost us enough!




Already have a plan to get back the cash
that you took from our joint account?

Immediately would be good.


What? Because that always worked
so well.


Bag O' Colors!

Like MyMuesli, but with candy.

Presenting: sDreamShare!

Looking for people to share
your Netflix account with?

We present, YoungSt(art)ers!

We want to be millionaires,
and you can help us get there.



If there's one thing that separates

successful people
from unsuccessful people,

it's persistence.


Are you coming? We need to ghost

Every great success
is ultimately the consequence

of well-handled defeats.


Believe me.
I'm very familiar with defeats.

LET'S MEET AT 11:30.

When you definitely want something,

then you can't,
under any circumstances, give up.


Whether it's in business or relationships,
you have to learn from your defeats,

recognize your strengths and weaknesses

and, most importantly,

wait for the right moment.

This is Rinseln, Germany.

Population 28,734,

of whom 19,700 have
an Internet connection.

The most common search term
on Google is "Google."

The most popular search terms
on YouPorn are "Deutsch"


and "sex."

I think that's about everything
there is to say about this city.

For Lisa and me,
there was only ever one plan:

Get out of there.

Every one of our elite universities
listens to about 100 people a week.

What they're looking for is authenticity.




We gamers only level in one direction:


Of course, you don't want everyone to know
if you had a little outside "help."

That's why "MyTems" only uses

encrypted communications
and cryptocurrency.

Anonymous, dependable,
and guaranteed anonymous.

Our customers can trust us 100 percent.

I can only trust my long-term colleague,
Mr. Zimmermann,

- about five percent...
- Cut!

You don't betray your best friend
for your ex-girlfriend.

First, we're just taking a break.
And second, I already said I'm sorry.

That's why I'm trying to make it right!

It doesn't fucking matter
where we get the money from.

As long as it comes from somewhere.

Name one crowdfunding campaign
that worked.

- You see?
- Pebble Time.

Coolest Cooler.

- Pebble Time 2.
- Moritz!

That laptop charger
that's also a USB hub and a power bank.

The one that burned through
users' desks after two weeks?

You're doing great!
I don't know what's wrong with her today.

Look at this.

- Okay, maybe not so authentic.
- Lisa, what is this?

- What? He told me I should be authentic.
- What is this?



Your mother asked you a question.

The glasses, man!

Put them on.

- Now it really looks like Ed Sheeran.
- That's perfect!

Here, take a few more photos.

Hey, what's up? I'm at school right now.

One of your school mates
was at my pizzeria yesterday.

- Did you tell anyone about it?
- No, of course not.

Okay, listen up.

If any of my fucking pills show up
anywhere, call me right away!

Is that clear? He owes me money,
you know.

- Yes, of course I'll call you.
- Okay.

Yo, Dan! Lisa texted you.

Her mother found something.

...gamers are...

Maybe the competition people were right,
the idea's just not good.

The back-end is too time consuming
for it.

When was the last time
you wrote a line of code?

Why is Dan messaging you?

And why are you still on Facebook?

Dan's not messaging me.
Dan's messaging Lisa.

So you did log into her account?

You're crazy.





Okay. Deleting messages
from my girlfriend's Facebook

before she's read them,

not exactly my finest hour.

But do you remember what I said before
about the right timing?

This is it.
The moment I'd been waiting for.

Lisa needs help

and it would be highly unreasonable
to leave it to this guy.

Pull her out of a burning vehicle? Fine.

Or save her during a
zombie apocalypse, why not?

But not when it comes
to complex family disputes.

I was wondering
if you'd ever show up again.

Lisa stopped talking about you.
I was worried about you two.

Moritz has a lot going on right now.

- Yes. I'm really focused on a new project.
- We're having a cris...

We're having a crisis discussion
at the moment.

But I'm sure you were
at her party, too, right?

- What party?
- We know about the party.

- About Lisa's drugs...
- Oh, you knew Lisa takes pills?

- Well, I...
- Did you know my mom takes pills?

- That's medicine! I'm sick!
- Your mother has an illness!

I take pills so I can be myself.

Mom, people take MDMA
so they can be themselves.

You think downing two Tavors with a bottle
of wine every day is any better?

Well, you can definitely forget
about studying abroad now.

- I'm sure that was in that...
- Jacksonville.

Jacksonville, where you first tried this.

What do you think, Moritz?

She must have brought
the pills back from there.

- There's something I need to clarify.
- Yes?

The pill was mine.

And where would you have gotten them?

Lisa didn't know I brought them.

Moritz, you don't have to lie to us.

And I guess you finally found a reason
to keep our daughter from moving out.


It's so easy for you.
You sit there silently, and now...

Now what?

Just because
you're screwing your secretary,

it doesn't mean you can get out
of raising our daughter.

Thank you for taking this break so well.

You still have my brain cell!


I even took it to America.

My host family thought
it was a ginger root.

Why would anyone have a plush ginger root?

No idea.

Definitely the most intelligent gift
anyone's ever given me.


You know...

In America,
I was afraid that I'd come back

to find everything had changed
and that I'd missed it all.

But it's the exact opposite.

Nothing changed.

- Yes, but...
- It's like time stood still.

It was really kind of you
to lie for me just now.

But I don't want to stop you
from living your life.

Maybe something did change.

It really was your ecstasy?

Yes, I got it for you.

I was gonna give this to you yesterday
as a welcome gift.

But then Daniel broke my...

Lisa, it's fine with me
if you want to try new things.

Maybe I can help you figure out
what it is you really want.

I think I need to find that out
for myself.

I think it would be better
if you leave now, Moritz.

When you make a plan, the probability
that it will fail is about 50 percent.

Either it works... or it doesn't.


If you don't make a plan,
the chances of failure are zero percent.



Life is what happens when
you're making other plans.

This is my new number.

It never happens the way you think.

Maybe sometimes you should
just stop planning

and start doing.


We gamers only level in one direction.

Anonymous, dependable,
and guaranteed anonymous.

Do you want to know why...?

You don't betray your best friend
for your ex-girlfriend.



Hey Lisa, I've been thinking.

I think it's all right
that you need a little space right now.

Take your time. It's all quite normal
when you've been separated for a year.

I Googled that myself:


But let's not give up our plans
because of this.

And about your parents, don't worry.

I'll get the money
for studying abroad somehow.








How do you sell drugs online?

I suppose most of you have Googled it
by now and discovered

that if you do everything right,
it's pretty easy.

The hard part is doing everything right.

So if you really Googled that,
you already made the first mistake.

Because on the regular Internet,
you leave traces everywhere you go.

So it's best to start with the Darknet.

Forget all the horror stories
you've heard about it.

In my generation, everyone has been
to the Darknet at least once.

If you have no idea what the Darknet is,
you were probably born before 1990.

Here's someone you like
and who knows all about facts.


My name is Jonathan Frakes,
and I'm going to explain the Darknet.

Did you know that every time
you take a photo,

your location is stored
in the image file's metadata.

Maybe you did.

Are you also aware that when you buy
a robotic vacuum cleaner like this,

you give the company permission
to take measurements of your home

and sell that data to third parties?

Fucking outrageous.

By the way, the company that makes
these vacuum cleaners is called iRobot.

Like the Will Smith movie
where robots tried to destroy humanity.

Think about that.

We live in a world
where big technology companies

know more about us
than we do about ourselves.

It's totally understandable
that some people

prefer to remain anonymous
on the Internet.

For that, they use a special network
called The Onion Router or just...


If you open a site on the Internet,

the data packet
containing the content

comes directly from the provider's server.

Totally traceable.

If you open a Darknet address,

the data packets
are not transferred to you directly.

First, they're routed through
the TOR network from node to node.

And each node only has contact
with the previous node

and the next node,
but never the whole chain.

That means
it's no longer possible to trace

who originally sent the data package.

Are you really sure
that it's Lisa who sent the data?

Or did we use the Darknet to...

keep you in the dark?

Oh, yes, one more thing.

Don't do drugs.


One long! One long! Okay, shit. I'm down.

Fuck, it's lagging.

The PIN is the date
we had the idea for MyTems.

Google, read my last message.

Hello, Lenny.
You'll think this is really dumb,

I get that.
But now you have to listen closely.

Moritz realizes
that he screwed up big-time.

He shouldn't have just taken the money.

He wants to say sorry for that.

Apology accepted?

- What's wrong with you?
- But then he screwed up again.

He took your code
for the MyTems shop system

and reprogrammed it to use
as a Darknet drug shop on your server

where drugs can be bought anonymously.

He knows that he should have
asked you first.

Moritz is an idiot.

He was only thinking of Lisa
the whole time,

and he totally forgot about you.

Lenny, you are his best friend.

End of message.

You turned MyTems into a drug shop?

Yes, sorry.

I thought that way
I could pay you the money back.

Let's see it.

It's okay, the emails are still
unencrypted here in the database.

And for sign-up,
you'd need to embed a new captcha.

But otherwise...

Moritz, not bad!

I did some math.

Based on the market price,

resellers have a profit margin
of 200 percent.

Apple only makes 65 percent on the iPhone.
It's a business case.

It's a business case
that could land us in jail.

Thanks, Mom.

It's nice seeing you do something
different than always shooting around.

Lenny, think about it.

This could be our thing,
our ticket out of this dump!

If this thing works,
we can do anything we want.

Well, then...

So, first rule of the shop:

We do not talk about the shop.

That's Fight Club!

I've never seen it.

Sure, you know it!

With the two guys that smack people
in the face the whole time.

But actually it's just one guy
who's completely crazy.

Sounds great.

- Fuck, fuck!
- What's up?

I didn't bring the dealer his money.

Fuck it. He's forgotten you by now.

Fuck him, fuck the cops.

Now we seed the link
into a few Darknet forums

and make some real money, man!

Okay. A piece of history
will be written today.

Don't look at me like that.
What could happen?

Well, Daniel.

You know you can screw up
your entire future this way, right?

I mean,
what other job is there after this?

Postman, bus driver...

Yeah, so, actually, mainly these two.

I'm sure Daddy the national player
and Mommy the bank boss

imagined it differently
for their sweet little guy.

It's just four pills.

Small quantity. It's for personal use.

Listen up, Riffert Jr.

You have to read to the end
of the Wikipedia article.


Baby bird.

Now come on, Daniel.
Nobody wants to imprison you here.

Just tell us who sold you the stuff,
and we'll waive the charges.

We're interested
in the big players, Daniel.

These are chemical drugs,
dangerous substances.

Whoever brings something like this
to the people on a grand scale

must be punished for it.

What do we do
if our customers have questions?

Just make a regular FAQ.


Can I make my order securely
through your shop?


Just add the desired quantity to the cart

and enter your address at the checkout.

Your personal data is automatically
encrypted using PGP

and deleted after the order
is dispatched.

Our team of professionals then packs
the goods in clean-room conditions,

and ensures smooth and secure processing.

Can I really only pay with cryptocurrency?

Yes. We only accept payments in Bitcoin,
Ripple, IOTA and Ethereum.

The payment procedure is not complicated.

You just need to set up a suitable wallet.

We do not offer Payback
or other bonus systems.

We weren't born yesterday.

How can I receive my order anonymously?

Our shipping department operates around
the clock to help you,

to ensure fast and risk-free shipping.

The delivery happens within a few days.

You order can be sent
to any valid postal address, PO box,

or package station.

Thanks to our highly complex
and decentralized system,

the transfer
to the logistics service provider

is already anonymous
and cannot be traced back.

Fifty grand by the time we graduate.

Then we go offline and do everything
we've ever fantasized about.


But I hope you don't mean
what's in my browser history.

By the way...

The doctor said
I only have two years left.

They said that six years ago.

Okay, let's say 100 grand,

otherwise you won't get anything
out of it.

Let's say one million.

Caught you red-handed!

Just kidding, boys.

You can put your mail right in here.

Come on, toss it in.
What's with the gloves?


Yes, me, too.

Yes, it's often caused by warm air
from heating.

Or fabric softener. Or stress.

I can tell you something about that.

Now that people can even order
their toilet paper on the Internet,

the delivery industry
is totally overstretched.

If it goes on like this,
I can hang myself by Christmas.

Not that I'm planning to do that,
but it's a hard job sometimes.

I earn just over minimum wage,

while Amazon's top brass
keep getting richer!

Okay, boys.

And make sure to always use enough stamps!

Yeah, we did.

What do we even have now?

Uh, Bio.

Shit, did you do the homework?

No, I wanted to copy Gerda's.



Mr. Sander?

Hello? Do I know you?


I mean, reaching sixth place is really,

really great.

Thanks. Oops!


I didn't wash my hands.