How to Make It in America (2010–…): Season 1, Episode 8 - Never Say Die - full transcript

* I need a dollar dollar *

- * a dollar, that's what I need *
- * hey hey *

* well, I need a dollar dollar *

- * a dollar, that's what I need *
- * hey hey *

* said I need a dollar dollar *

* a dollar, that's what I need *

* and if I share with
you my story *

* would you share your
dollar with me? *

* well, I don't know if I'm
walking on solid ground *

* and all I want is *

* for someone to help me *



* I need a dollar dollar *

* a dollar, that's what I need *

* and if I share with
you my story *

* would you share your
dollar with me? *

I washed it...

In case you have to wear it today.

- Thank you, grandma.
- Si.

- Are you sneaking out?
- What? Oh, god. No.

- Sorry if I woke you.
- It's fine.

I'd offer you some coffee,
but the pot broke.

Oh, really? The vintage
joe dimaggio mr. Coffee?

- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, man. Sorry.

- You loved that thing.
- Yeah, I did until it shattered

And almost took a finge



- That sucks.
- Yeah.

Shit happens.

Yeah.

It does.

So, um...

-...It was good seeing you. - Yup.
It was good to see you too.

- Okay.
- Bye.

hey.

How you feeling today?

- Been better. You?
- All good.

We need to talk to the cops and see
what they got on the truck,

So meet me at the police station,
all right?

And hurry up, 'cause I don't
got time to fuck around today.

Whoa whoa. Who is this?
What have you done with my friend cam?

Your friend cam is now a
slave to his cousin rene,

So you know what that means.

What the hell is a
rasta monsta, anyway?

- It's an energy drink.
- Never heard of it.

That was the point of
the truck. - Right.

It says here it's been insured as "
a work of art."

- It was
- apparently it had a mural

Of "a skeleton with dreadlocks

Getting pulled by a team of
angry pit bulls." lovely.

So nobody you interviewed outside
of the diner saw anything?

Nope. They never do.

These cops need to step it up.

My tax dollars pay
for their salary.

What? - Your tax dollars.
But still...

Well, one of us
needs to call haraki

And tell him we're not
delivering the t-shirts today.

Ben, the day still isn't over.

Either way, it's not
gonna happen today.

No way.

Yeah, I guess the right
thing to do is cancel

And keep the relationship good
and open for the future, right?

Yeah. I mean, that's a
better look for crisp

Than just flaking completely,
you know?

I'll call haraki and I'll tell him.

All right. Well,
let me buy you breakfast first.

- I can'
- what?

I've gotta work.

- Edie: Good morning, gorgeous.
- Good morning, edie.

Is this a happy call or a sad call?

Are you available to
meet me at the hotel?

- Yes, I am.
- Okay.

So see you there in an hour?

There's a bonus in
this for you, sweetie.

Bye, edie.

How much for a billboard
on houston?

Are you fucking kidding me, man?

That's a lot of fucking money, bro.

Shit, for $200 and a bag of weed,

I can hire this hood rat
that lives in my building

Who'll climb up and paint
a nice mural, man,

Right on top of the
calvin klein ad.

You think that'd make the
company look too ghetto?

Oh, fuck. Yeah,
you're probably right.

Will you please hold on a second?

What the fuck is this, bro?

I said egg whites, not egg yellows.

- Are you fucking color-blind?
- They're egg beaters.

They lady said egg beaters are
the same thing as egg whites.

It's not the same thing.

Look. Can you learn
to follow directions

Before I turn into a cam beater?

- Mm-hmm.
- I'm-- I'm so sorry.

Yeah, my little cousin-
he just started working for me.

He's half retarded.

hello.

Hey, how you doing,
man? It's cam calderon from crisp.

I thought you were coming
to deliver last night.

- What happened to you?
- Well, we had a little problem

With the shipping on our end.

Oh, I hope the problem
is cleared up.

Are you bringing
me my shirts today?

Of course we are. Yeah.
Yeah, you'll have them by tonight.

If your shirts sell like
I think they can,

I want to backup the order
with some hooded sweatshirts.

We can do that. We're already working
on some hoodies, so that's perfect.

- Just let me know how many.
- Good.

My assistant will call you soon
to tell you where to drop off.

Thank you, haraki.

Who steals a delivery
truck like that?

- That's some serious crackhead shit.
- I think cam and I are cursed.

Oh, shut up. You're not cursed.
Stop. - Well, we're not blessed.

Dude, did I ever tell you the
story about my uncle julius?

No, I don't think you did. - Oh,
he was the coolest dude back in cleveland.

Everybody loved him.
He's got nine kids

And he drove the bus.
The dude was never not happy.

- What happened to him?
- He won $2 million in the lottery

And then got severely depressed.

All right? Lost it
all within the year

And now he's back to driving
the bus, happy as hell.

You lost me, man. - All right, dude.
Let me just telyou,

Things come and go. Money comes and goes.
T-shirts come and go.

Sometimes there's greater forces
at work that we're aware of.

You know what I mean? You've just got
to roll with those fucking punches.

- You know, bob and weave.
- Damn.

You just got really
deep on me there.

You know, I get my philosophize
on every once in a while,

- Dropping gems. You know?
- I love it. I love it.

Who is this? Hold on.

hello. Yeah, this is ben.

What are you doing, huh? Sit.

Oh yeah, haraki's guy.
What's up, man?

He told you what?

Yo, no personal calls during work.

Jabar, let me ask you a question.

- What's up with the truck?
- What do you mean?

I mean with all the people
y'all know on the streets,

- No one's seen nothing.
- Nope.

Then why are we not looking for it?

We could find that shit ourselves.

- You're crazy.
- Come on, jabar.

I know a dude like you
can make one phone call

And make that shit
appear like that.

I probably could,
but it wouldn't matter anyway,

'cause we can't put the
damage claim in before Monday.

Damage claim? What you
talking about, damage claim?

Don't you mean stolen claim? - Lost,
stolen or damaged, man. What do you care?

'cause I care.

"'cause I care" is not an answer.

'cause yesterday when
we left union square

We went to go pick up 300 t-shirts

From this silkscreener
out in brooklyn

And the t-shirts were in the
truck when it was stolen.

Your shirts were in the truck?

Yeah. They're supposed to be on
a plane to tokyo tomorrow.

- This is sad.
- Yeah, I know.

Come on, jabar.
I need a ride from somebody

Who can see over
the steering wheel.

You stay and go back to work.

Come on.

Grab my car.

Ben. - Why the fuck do
I have haraki's people

Calling me about a drop-off tonight?
Did you not cancel?

- I might not have
- are you crazy? Why?

I have no idea,
but this shit ain't over.

When I talked to haraki
it was over,

- But now it's definitely not over.
- Whoa whoa, cam.

What are you talking about?

I think rene stole the
rasta monsta truck.

What? - Jabar was talking
about filing a claim

For a truck that's still missing,
then rene walked in

And bailed him out.
The whole shit felt mad suspicious.

Okay, look.

Even if it's true,
what could we possibly do about it?

go s rene.

- With no proof?
- I know it in my bones, man.

All right?

All right. Where are you?

- I'd love it. Oh!
- That's really good.

- Hi.
- Darren: 10 minutes late.

It's not nice to keep
the boss waiting.

I thought they'd teach you
something like that at brown.

Yeah. - I'm kidding.
I tried calling you last night.

Darren and I were just having a
very titillating conversation

About the budget for this place.

It might even involve
some purchasing trips

To some very exotic locales.

Wow. Well, that sounds real nice.

- Edie: Mm-hmm.
- That sounds very nice...

...But I'm out.

out where?

Out of here. - Edie:
What are you talking about?

I'm not doing this hotel.

I'm not. Darren,
thanks for the offer,

Really, but this is just not
how I like to get new business.

With that said,
you should hire edie.

She's gonna be an
incredible asset to you.

But, rachel, you work for me,

So ij I'm doing it,
you're doing it.

Actually, I'm not working for
you anymore, because I quit.

I quit edie weitz designs.

- Slow down, please.
- I'm cool. I'm cool.

- No, you're completely losing it.
- Maybe. Maybe.

Or maybe for the first time
in a really long while,

I'm finally getting it.

Wait. What does this mean for us?

I mean-- - darren, I don't
know if there's an us anymore.

I'm just-- I'm not into your whole
I-don't-take- no-for-an-answer thing.

- Okay, we can work on that.
- Ben and I slept together last night.

- What?
- So there's that.

- Umm.
- Huh.

All right.

Good talk.

- Eddie: How's that?
- Mike: Go up.

Try more up. - Eddie,
up more on your side, please.

I'm going as high as I can, boss.

Bullshit. Stretch. Come on, man.

- Oh, hey. How you doing?
- I can't thank you enough for this.

It's a truly charitable
contribution.

You're welcome, father.
It's the least I can do.

are you okay?

Yeah, of course. Why?

You seem troubled.

Is there someplace we could
talk in private real fast?

You want to go in the chapel?

I mean someplace not
so close to god.

- God is everywhere, rene.
- Yeah, I know,

But he's freaking me out
in here right now. -

Come on, let's go out front.
That's fair enough. - Thank you.

The stress of running a
business is no joke, father.

You're strong enough
to do this, rene.

Yeah, I know,
but I still get my urges.

Urges. Urges are normal,
for all of us.

Yeah, but mine are criminal,

Even violent sometimes.

Rene, here's something a smart man

Once shared with me that helped.

Maybe it'll work for you.

- I mean, please.
- Whenever you get an evil

Or impure impulse,

Close your eyes, take a deep breath

And then you imagine yourself
taking the elevator down

To the basement of your soul where
that angry part of you lives.

And you confront it.

You look the angry
rene right in the eye

And you just... Smile.

That work for you?

Yeah, and it can work for you too.

I don't know, father.

I guess I could try
reasoning with him.

I don't know.

I just made a five-hour
playlist and packed some snacks.

Wow. - What do you know
about bacon-wrapped figs

Stuffed with parmesan? - I know that
bacon makes everything taste better.

Where's all your stuff?

Yeah, I need to talk to you.

You're not coming.

Yeah, look. I'm sorry.
Something just came up.

Look, ben. If you're
uncomfortable, I get it.

- No.
- You don't have to make up--

Julie, honestly, it has
nothing to do with you, okay?

I was really looking forward to going,
but cam's about to do something crazy

And if I'm not there with him,
the thing could get totally out of hand.

- Are you guys gonna be okay?
- Yeah yeah,

But are you gonna
be okay iving alone?

Look, ben. I once drove from
jersey to florida by myself

To see a radiohead concert.
Baltimore will be no sweat.

- Are you sure?
- I'll be fine.

Got a few rasta monstas for me?

Boss, your cousin and
his friend showed up.

Yo, it's Saturday night.

I thought you two guys would be wining
and dining each other somewhere.

- How you doing, rene?
- What's going on, coz?

No idea. You tell me.

Well, we think that you
may have accidentally

Come across our t-shirts.

How could I accidentally
come across those?

I don't know. Honestly,
I don't wanna know,

But we need those shirts ba tonight

Because they're supposed
to ship out tomorrow.

You know, I don't know what the fuck
you're talking about right now, ben.

And honestly, I'm a little
insulted by the implication.

That is the exact opposite
of what we came here to do.

We did not want to insult
you or any of you guys.

We just want our shirts back and
we will be out of your way forever.

Boys, you know what you're
saying to me right now?

You're saying that I,
a two-time felon,

Have potentially committed my third
strike for some sort of fraud.

You think I want to go
back to jail, man?

You think I would do something
dumb like that? Come on.

Rene, I'm not a snitch.
Cam's not a snitch.

Obviously, those shirts are
a big enough deal for us

To even bother you about it.
We just want 'em back.

Whether or not you stole
a truck or not,

That is not our business.

But the shirts inside
that truck are.

Are you finished?

Yeah. - Just give us
back our fucking shirts!

We all know you boosted
that truck!

- Fucking thief.
- Men: Whoa.

- Shit.
- Whoa.

What the fuck did you just say to me?
You heard me!

Oh.

I'm gonna give you a pass tonight

Because I know what those
shirts meant to you.

But after tonight

I never ever want to
hear about your shirts

Or my truck again. You got me?

Yeah, I got it.

But you gotta understand, coz,

Those shirts are all I got.

Why don't you two
get out of my office

Before I change my mind and beat
you senseless for wasting my time?

You guys are bringing me down.
Seriously.

I already doubled my
zoloft intake for today.

- Do you have anymore on you?
- You are gonna be fine.

- Both of you.
- Will we?

Yes. - We blew our
fucking deal with haraki.

He was actually feeling our shirts.

And there's also the matter
of your investment, david,

- Which we also lost.
- Okay. Well, ben,

In '08 I lost $685 million.

I was bundling
mortgage-backed securities

Like they were sardines in a can.

- Damn.
- Yeah, but it's all good,

Because I'm making it back

Little by little,
million by million.

The secret is not to
get rich quick.

The secret is to get rich slow

And you appreciate it.

Pfft. We couldn't get rich
any slower if we tried.

Guys, you need to have
faith in yourselves.

I do. Crisp is always
gonna bounce back.

We always will. Right?

- "we" will?
- Yes, we will.

Come on, clinky-clink.
Crispy-crisp.

Barkeep, three shots--

Tres generaciones-- por favor.

Huh? - A last shot,
then I'm going home.

Hey, wilfredo!

Yo, wilfredo.

- Hey, man.
- What's up? You good?

Yeah, man. What the
hell happened to you?

I tried calling you.
I came to your house.

- You never came by my house.
- Wilfredo, I came by many times.

- You saw me and hid.
- Yo, s khalid and them dudes there?

Them guys is really
trying to kill me.

I-- I don't know
how khalid is, man.

Yeah, whatever, donald.

Donald? No. Ben.

Your friend ben epstein.

Oh, shit. What's up, ben?

- Hey, man.
- What's up?

No, I was just looking for you.
I wanted to talk to you about those decks.

Look. I'm sorry if I let
you down at all. You know?

- Wh-wh-- what decks?
- Your decks.

The wilfredo gomez decks.

Oh, shit.

Yeah, the giraffe, the elephant.

Oh, that skateboard was sick.

- So you liked it then?
- I loved it.

It was beautiful.
I wanted to ride that skateboard.

Yeah. - I wanted to really ride it,

But you know what happened to it?

I let my brother ride it and he
just straight up bounced with it.

He bounced with it, huh?

Yo, donald.

yeah?

Don't trust nobody, donald.

For real. Not even mickey.

Mmm. Mmm?

- Yo, what the--
- shh shh shh shh.

it's the tooth fairy coming
to knock your teeth out.

See you outside in
two minutes. Okay?

Put your clothes on.

* love, love is the answer *

* that's all right *

* so don't you give up now... *

* so easy to find... *

You're getting me a
little nervous, coz.

What are we doing out here?

- * look to your soul *
- * and open your mind. *

I knew it. I knew you took it.

Yay for cam, little private dick.

Why? Why did you do it?

'cause that truck is an
expensive piece of art.

I got it cheap.

And art insurance pays
for damaged art faster

Than it does for stolen art,
so-- you know.

Still, I don't get it.
I thought you loved that truck.

Oh, of course I do.

But like you,
I also had to get a loan

To get my business started.

And I owe, just like you.

A lot of money.

So were the t-shirts in the truck?

They were.

Rene, can I please get them back?

You know I'm not gonna say nothing.

You can trust me. I'm your cousin.

With my past, I can't trust nobody.

Come on, man. Let's go.

But I do want you to succeed,
cousin.

You know, I was really impressed

When I seen what you
did with those shirts.

It made me think you and your
boyfriend have some talents.

You know, too bad you
don't make 'em in xxxl.

These dudes love 'em.

I want those t-shirts
to be the start

Of a successful,
legitimate business for you.

You do? - Yeah,
but before that can happen,

I need you to do something.

It is what it is, papo.

I go down, you go down.

* look over yonder *

* what do you see? *

* the sun is a-rising *

* most definitely *

* a new day is dawning *

* hoo-hoo *

* people are changing *

- * ain't it beautiful? *
- * hoo-hoo *

* crystal blue persuasion... *

Yeah.

Huh.

* better get ready *

* gonna see the light *

* love, love is the answer *

- * hoo-hoo *
- * and that's all right... *

What? You're just gonna travel?

Until the money runs out, yeah.

- Where to?
- I don't know.

I'm gonna paste a map on my wall

And just throw a dart,
see where it lands.

I'm gonna be aiming for paris.

oh, obvious.

Well, I know that's one
throw you're not gonna miss.

- That is correct.
- Huh.

What about you? How's- how's crisp?

Crisp is good.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- It's really good.
- Yeah...

So can I ask you a question?

Please.

How were we the other night?

- What?
- Never mind. Sorry.

Uh, the other night was--

- It was--
- it was a little off.

- You know?
- Yeah.

Maybe more than a little.

But it wasn't always like that...

- No.
- ...Right?

- Hm-mmm.
- No.

Ben, I'm sorry

If I made you feel like
I expected too much.

You didn't.

All right.
Wherever that dart lands,

Just be safe

And send me a postcard.

- All right.
- Come here.

Take care, rache.

* dial up my number now *

* weaving it through the wire *

* switch me on... *

So how long have you
guys been doing this?

Long time. Haraki
doesn't like to pay

International import tax
or wait on shipping.

- I don't blame him.
- Much easier this way.

Gets to stores faster,
customers too.

Only customs has
little problem, so shh.

I won't say anything. I promise.

It was a pleasure doing
business with you.

- Thank you. Oh, you take it.
- If you don't mind.

- No, you got it.
- I got it.

- The pleasure was all ours.
- Thank you.

Hey, you tell haraki out of all
the retailers we deal with,

- He's our favorite.
- Okay, thank you.

Yo, so what are you gonna do
with your half of the money?

Pay my rent first

And then I don't know.

I'm thinking we make
another pair of jeans.

Oh, hell yeah.
We should definitely do that.

- But I was thinking...
- Uh-oh.

...We should make a crisp hoodie,

Then take it to tokyo ourselves.

- Yeah?
- I'm serious.

Our time over there is right now.

We've got to be face to
face with our customers--

Promote, market, politic it.

Get the japanese buzz buzzing.

I think this could be
something big, son.

Do you even have a passport, cam?

What? Not yet, but I'll get one.

Plus I know this dude that sells
airline miles for cheap.

Tell me the plan ain't crazy.

It's a crazy plan.