How to Make It in America (2010–…): Season 2, Episode 1 - I'm Good - full transcript

Ben and Cam return to NYC from a successful trip to Tokyo full of optimism - and with duffle bags of hoodies for a CRISP pop-up store event. Back from her soul-searching globe-trot, Rachel realizes she still has feelings for Ben, but discovers heʼs seeing Julie. Rene puts up a head-turning Rasta Monsta billboard that incenses his girlfriend; Domingo expands his business beyond dog-walking.

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* I need
a dollar dollar *

- * a dollar, that's what I need *
- * hey hey *

* well, I need
a dollar dollar *

- * a dollar, that's what I need *
- * hey hey *

* said I need
a dollar dollar *

* a dollar,
that's what I need *

* and if I share
with you my story *

* would you share
your dollar with me? *

* well, I don't know if
I'm walking on solid ground *

* and all I want is *



* for someone to help me *

* and I need
a dollar dollar *

* a dollar,
that's what I need *

* and if I share
with you my story *

* would you share
your dollar with me? *

* hey, s-t-a-r,
that's what you are *

* 'cause you're big in japan,
you're big in japan *

* s-t-a-r... *

* I got a phone call
from across the hall *

* people knocking on doors,
I fell asleep on the floor *

* I think I'll be fine,
I feel totally '90s *

* as I'm lying on the ground
in my smoking undies *

* keep my head down,
look away from the flash... *

Both:
Crisp, motherfucker!



* me, I don't mind *

* 'cause it's all
for the fans *

* and then the next thing
you know *

* I'm big in japan... *

Hello.

What was the nature
of your trip?

Vacation.

- How you doin'?
- Hello, sir.

Anything to declare?

No, just my undying love
for new york.

sorry, excuse me.

Hey, how you doin'?

My dudes!

Good to be back up
in this kind of place.

Yo, an official welcome home to mhomies

Even though it took you almost
two weeks to call an old friend.

- It's all right.
- Oh come on, man, we've been on the grind.

I even got cam
silk screening.

It's true.
I'm a designer now.

- All right.
- I wouldn't say designer.

- I am. I killed it.
- Domingo: Yo yo!

What's shaking,
three amigans?

- Good, man.
- I wod like meet my homegirl leigh.

She was complimenting me
y swtshirt

And I thought that she should meet
the brains behind the operation.

- How you doing?
- Hi, guys.

I'm david kaplan, self-made
millionaire, whatever.

Nice to meet you. Where can
I get one of these hoodies?

Uh, j. F.B.K., atmos.

And if you want to see what's coming
next, check out the lulu d. Store.

She's gonna have our new
hoodies in the window tomorrow.

Why don't you give me your
email? I'll send you one for free.

- Oh yeah? Well, that's really sweet of you.
- Yeah.

- Guys: Aww!
- Guys, please.

Well, too bad
he's spoken for.

But what's up with my man
david right here?

Domingo: What about
sweet pea over there?

I'm spoken for as well.

- This hoodie's for my boyfriend, guys.
- Aw boo!

Yeah!

Come on.

- Yeah hey!
- That's what I'm talking about!

Hey, you know what? Maybe be easy
on the flirting this time, all right?

- She already gave us the window.
- You think I can turn it off?

I can't help myself
around lulu.

- Hey.
- Hey, guys.

Lulu d.,
looking radiant today.

- Thanks. Hi.
- Hey.

So you ready for
some hooded perfection?

Yeah, bring it on.

- I don't think she's ready.
- I'm not really feeling the excitement.

I'm- I'm excited.

Wow.

Soft.
Love the graphic.

- Thanks.
- Wow.

So when exactly are you going
to install the window display?

Tonight or tomorrow morning?
'cause we can help you with that.

- Yeah.
- I'm really sorry, guys. I know I promised,

But I just got
the new neanderthal stuff in

And then I had to put it in my window
or they said I couldn't carry their line.

Don't hate me.

- Cam: Neanderthal?
- You know, tim and ivan's line,

The new york neanderthals?

Okay.

Here.

Wait a minute- tim the
dope-fiend photographer?

And bus-driver ivan who drove that
m96 crosstown into the gristede's?

Yep, they're super hot
right now.

They are?

Well, I mean, it's more about
the guys than their clothes.

They have the story behind them
- junkies turned fashion designers.

People buy into
the bad-boy thing.

All I see
are a bunch of dicks.

Don't tell me our jew-minican
swagger is wearing off?

Not at all.
You guys are sweet.

Whoa, ben is sweet;
I'm scandalous.

- Okay, so we were saying-
- yes?

- How many do you need?
- Um...

Why don't we start with two?

Okay, so two dozen?

No, just two for now.

Not bad, huh?

eddie: You really did it,

Just like you told us
u would.

- All: Yeah.
- Jabar: Billboard looks incredible, boss.

Man in car:
Rasta monsta!

Yeah!

You're officially
big in the hood.

But not as big
as debbie's booty.

- What was that?
- Boss, I'm kidding.

I thought she was meeting
you here to see it go up.

Yeah, so did I.

Are you-
are you from senegal?

- 'cause I was just there.
- Haiti.

Oh.

Fucking tim, man.
He was a hack photographer.

Now he's a hack designer, but somehow
everybody thinks he's brilliant.

Well, people eat that downtown
dirtbag's shit up. It's a good story.

Ah, really?
What's our story?

- Jew- - do not say
"jew-minican," please.

Ben epstein-
a nice boy, mother loves him.

My moms can't be
our only customer, guys.

We gotta do something to get
people talking about crisp.

Selling six t-shirts a month
is not gonna cut it, you know?

What if we rock that
pop-up shop we talked about?

Yes, okay,
I like that.

Sell some hoodies,
get the message out there.

Yeah, we'd have to make it
crazy ill, though-

You know, get people
talking about us.

One of you needs
to get shot.

Okay, you can go
with the classic-

Hookers and blow.

You know what?
That actually could work.

Not the blow, but what
if we got some girls

To do like a little fetish
show like we saw in shinjuku?

Oh, yeah yeah yeah. Bring
tokyo to the I.E.S. I likehat.

Yeah yeah. And then you know
what'll make it crazy sick?

Is if jay-z was there.

No no no no no no.

My boy rich
from temple israel

Is practically running
roc nation right now.

- What?
- I'm gonna go ahead and give him a call.

Sure, you get us jigga
and you get us geishas

And I'll reach out to obama,
see if the homie can make it.

Listen,
the best luther song

Was * a thousand kisses
from you... *

you're killing me right now.

As a matter of fact, you're
killing luther right now with that.

What the-

Just wanted
to return this to you.

You couldn't pay me enough
to wear it ever again.

Debbie.
Debbie, wait.

Mama, mama,
where you going, baby?

Where you going
in such a hurry?

- Away from you.
- Why you so angry?

That piece-of-shit wall
on stanton?

- You look good up there, baby.
- Oh, do I?

- Yeah.
- Can you even tell it's me?

You can barely see my face.
And that is not my booty.

Look, jabar,
he photoshopped it.

You know, they do that
for all the billboards.

Even eva mendes
gets the photoshop.

You told me that I was gonna
be the face of rasta monsta.

And for some dumb reason,
I decided to believe you.

Look look, I took a poll
of all the pictures

And we all agreed that's
the best one. Be proud.

Enjoy your
pervert billboard,

'cause you're not getting
near my booty ever again.

Debbie.

Debbie!

So you think this girl
will do our fetish show?

Trust me.

* and you believe me,
yeah, bitch, believe me *

* hey yo,
it's me and spank rock *

* we always
poppin' it hot *

* he gets the ladies in line,
I got you ridin' my jock *

- * I keep it dirty, not like fergie... *
- wow.

* ain't the black eyed peas,
this shit ain't happy *

* I'm a trashy
boastful bitch mc *

* my rhymes
are painfully fresh *

* my pussy's
tastin' the best... *

Absolutely not.
That's disgusting.

Ben, I thought you were
fucking around about the eel.

Okay okay,
forget the eels.

Look, we just want something
edgy and shocking

Like this
- like this authentic fetish show we saw in shinjuku.

okay.
That's kind of fun.

Maybe we can do something
"about fetish,"

But still completely
post-feminist.

Yes, about fetish,

If you still, you know,
wear the outfits and, like,

Torture each other.

Gently-
gently torture.

You want me
to gently torture jin-suk?

Miss tomako,

Bear with us here.

Would it clear
your feminist conscience

If we donated some of that
cali kush you love so much?

I know it's your fave.

Yo, did you get my email about
taking the day off on Friday?

No.

It must have got caught in my
not-a-shot-in-hell mail folder.

- Oh well. - Rene, come on.
I'm having a pop-up shop.

- You're having a pop-tart
what? - Pop-up shop.

Me and ben are going to take
over this empty storefront

For a few hours
to sell our new hoodies

And to show people
what crisp is about.

I need the day
to set it up.

You need a day to settle
your accounts payable

With my korean grocers
out in flushing.

Let your boyfriend ben
handle it.

It's too much for ben
to do it alone.

It's gonna be
a big fashion event.

A fashion event?

On orchard street?

Okay, maybe I could let you
take the day off

If you push rasta monsta
at your party.

I'm talking signs,
cut-outs, bottle displays.

You're really
gonna make me do that?

You want the day off?
Hell yeah.

And I want to show up
to check it out personally.

So put me on your little guest
list for me plus four, okay, papi?

Cafe, mama.

Dude, this is definitely doing
something weird to my boobs.

- Yeah, it's making them look large and perfect.
- Oh.

Um, you know I haven't,
like, called anyone,

So nobody knows
that I'm- I'm back.

It's better that way-
incognito.

I don't know, lulu.

You know what sucks
about traveling?

- No.
- Coming home.

I mean, I feel like
when I was out there,

I- I had my shit
figured out, you know?

And now that I'm back,
it's just, like,

"can I get a job?" you know,
"should I hit this party?"

"can I afford
direct tv?"

You know, it's like,
oh, I never fuckin' left.

Well, I think
your boobs got bigger.

No, it's this dress.
It's too "titular. "

Try the phillip lim.
It's super cute.

I can't believe ben
has a line now.

- Your boy's talented.
- Does he-

Does he know that I'm-
I'm coming to the-

No idea.

You didn't r. S.V.P.
Plus one?

It's a pop-up shop
on orchard.

I'm pretty sure
it's open to the public.

- Yeah, but I'm not exactly the public.
- Oh please.

Yeah, what's up, everybody?
40 deuce radio, evr. Com.

- We got d. J. Scarlizzy
from cali- - scarleezy!

- Straight up.
- D.J. Scarleezy, I'm sorry.

You have that gangster look about
you. You have to keep that going.

- Yeah.
- And I'm gonna ask you,

What- what record
inspired you to become a d. J.?

Well, I guess the record that
really made me want to become a d. J.

Was "straight
outta compton. "

Maybe it's 'cause
I'm from cali too.

How you likin'
the stets of new york?

- Love it, love it.
- Can you roll a blunt?

- One-handed, bitch,
one-handed. - All right.

You gonna hang out with us
right after the show.

This is 40 deuce radio.
You're listening to evr. Com.

Cam: Yeah, the most
beautiful hooded sweatshirts

The world has ever seen,
imported from japan.

- We just got back actually.
- For real?

Yeah yeah.
We got some girls

That we brought back
with us too.

They're gonna be at the
pop-up shop tomorrow night

Doing this crazy fetish show
like you've never seen in america.

You gotta come down
and check it out.

So how does that work,
fellas?

I go to your store
- I could buy a hooded sweatshirt in the front

- And pee on a schoolgirl
in the back?

Ha! Yeah, no, I mean I
can't exactly say on air,

But whatever happens
in the back stays in the back.

All right, fellas, anything else we
need to know about tomorrow night?

Yeah, jay-z will be
in the building.

He might- uh, he might
be in the building

'cause we're
reaching out to him.

Why are you melting down
right now?

- I'm not melting down. I'm starting a buzz.
- That's what that was?

Look, if we don't sell some hoodies
tomorrow, we're fucked, okay?

- Literally dead broke.
- We're gonna be fine tomorrow.

But we can't be on the radio
acting desperate like that.

Yo, who's acting?

The account is empty
and the bills are due.

Nobody in new york
knows who the fuck we are.

They're gonna find out.
We've got this.

Yeah, well, we're
holding on by a thread.

Don't hold on
so tight.

Was that too hard?

- What?
- Was that too hard?

- No.
- Oh.

Whoa! Okay.

Julie: I didn't realize
you were such a spanker.

Do you think, like, I'm too
nice to make it as a designer?

Wow.

Were you just practicing
being edgy on my ass?

Sorry.

Don't be.

I actually
kind of liked it.

I like that you're nice.

What do you want?

I was in the area.
I wanted to give you these.

thanks.

Why are you so upset?

'cause I thought that you
of all people

Would at least choose a picture
that had my smile in it.

I thought you had my back.

I'm trying to build
a career too.

I do. That was
just one billboard.

Look, we're gonna have an
in-store display next month.

I told myself, if he chooses a
pretty photo, he's a good guy.

If he uses a booty photo,

He's just like the rest
of the losers I've dated.

I am a good guy, debbie.
That's why I'm here-

- To apologize and make it up to you.
- How you gonna do that?

Take you to a fashion event
tonight,

Introduce you to some
up-and-coming designers.

- For real?
- Mm-hmm.

Your fetish girls
better be a hit.

These handcuffs
were not cheap.

Yo, trust me
- it's gonna give us e edge we need.

Worth every penny.

Yo, did I tell you
that rene might come tonight?

Tell me we're not serving
rasta monsta at the bar.

It's a good chaser.

Cam, you're killing us.

Tonight was supposed to be about crisp
- our new york debut.

I promise you won't
even know he's there.

Oh shit, look.

Neanderthals.

See, that actually would be a good
look for us to have there tonight.

- They look homeless.
- Shut up.

Hey yo, tim,
what's up, man?

- Ben, gingy's friend.
- Oh yeah. Hey, man, how you doing?

Yeah, man, you guys are killing
it with those neanderthal tees.

- I'm feelin' 'em. - Man, every
t-shirt we ever made sucks.

We're over tees. We're trying
to get into proper haberdashery.

- Haberdashery. - Yeah,
man- custom men's tailoring.

- T-shirts are for kids. - Hey,
so we're having an event tonight.

We're launching
our new hoodies.

- You guys should come check it out.
- 186 orchard street.

Japanese fetish girls
and free beer.

You guys want
to hit this?

Hell yeah.

Thanks, man.

- I'm good.
- You're good?

* uh uh uh uh *

* uh uh *

* what y'all niggas
want, huh? *

All right, all right,
all right.

You guys are looking
just perfect.

You're gonna be awesome
awesome awesome awesome.

Up high, huh?

On behalf of crisp,
I really have to thank you

For contributing
your very special talents

To this very special night.

- Thank you. That's very
sweet. - Yeah. Mm-hmm.

- Who are you?
- I'm david kaplan.

- Katie.
- Can I borrow you for a second?

- Katie: Yeah, no problem.
- Yeah.

Have you heard from ben and
cam? I keep getting voicemail.

No, I- I thought
they were just avoiding me.

No no no. Well, look, I need
you to help me get it popping

- Until dolce & gabbana decide to show up.
- You got it.

They invited, like, every
showroom in new york city.

I know it. My little matzo
balls are stepping it up.

Man over p. A.: Ladies
and gentlemen, we apologize

For the unavoidable delay.

How much longer
are we gonna be stuck here?

I knew we should
have taken a cab.

Now we're gonna be late.

Yo, how cool
is little man right there,

Just chillin' with his
jesus piece and his mom?

Yeah, he's got some swag
for a little dude.

I had more at his age.

Should I have invited
my mom tonight,

Or is that not crisp?

Crisp crisp.

What does crisp
even mean?

All this time, we never even
came up with a real answer.

Now we've got
these fetish girls, but...

I don't know, man.

Are people just gonna
see through that?

Is anyone even
gonna show up?

Would it be weird if I asked
little man where he got his boots?

How dope are those boots?

Ben, chill out, man.

Was I just yelling?

Oh. Oh fuck.

Oh fuck,
I think I'm too high.

Why would you smoke
with the neanderthals anyway?

Who knows what kind of crack
they put in that shit?

All right, just be nice
to me right now, okay?

I think I'm having
a heart attack.

Are we underwater
right now?

Am I yelling?

I gotta go.

* your feelings changed
like the weather *

* went from clear to gray
on that cloudy day *

* how can I go on
with that bomb in the palm? *

* love's so hard to find
when someone's on your mind *

* listen, baby, your wish
is my command *

* baby, won't you
understand... *

You told me this was
a fashion event.

It's called a pop-up shop.

It's the latest thing.

Well, these people
look dirty to me.

I'm gonna kill you
if I get bedbugs up in here.

* of problems that
have a tendency to keep *

* keep the truth
confined *

* far from our minds *

* you need someone
you can believe in *

* this I do declare *

* trust me,
I'll be there... *

You see? Your heart works, your lung works
- everything works.

- Nothing to be scared of.
- No, dude, seriously, I need to get off this train

And into a hospital,
like, now!

- Now!
- Yo, you know what you do with him?

Dunk his head in some water
for five seconds.

When he comes up for air,
he's good as new.

I used to trip the fuck out
in my day too-

Smoking sherm
and going crazy.

I got your back, dude.

I gotta get off.

Homeless man: Yo, you got a
cigarette? You got a dollar?

- Yo!
- Ben!

Ben! Ben!

- Ben!
- Oh shit.

oh my god, oh my god.

oh my god. Ah!

- Oh.
- Hey, ben!

Excuse me.
Excuse me- emergency.

Fuckin' great.
Ben!

Shit, man.

Ah!

Aw shit.

* bounce, you've got
that nasty bounce *

* don't make
my kitty pounce *

* aw, bounce, little kitty,
bounce, little kitty... *

How do you know
these people?

My boyfriend actually
owns the brand.

Oh, that's so sick-
you have a boyfriend.

- Yes, I do.
- Who do you date? You date cam?

- Ben.
- Ben?

I'll just go fuck myself.

Okay.

Hey, you're-
so you're ben's girlfriend?

- Yes.
- Um, I'm rachel.

We used to...
A while back.

Oh, you're-
you're that rachel.

Maybe, depending
on what he's told you.

Hi.

Is he here or-
'cause I haven't...

No, strangely he's not.

Oh okay, well...

Hey, do you want
to freak him out?

Um, I'm all right.

- Let's do it. Come on, it's gonna
be good. - I don't need to- all right.

* don't make
my kitty pounce *

* aw, bounce, little kitty,
bounce, little kitty... *

- Oh, he is?
- He is my boy for real.

Oh my god, oh my god,
you're- you're rene, right?

Who's asking?

I'm david kaplan-
a friend of cam's.

Hey, I'm totally
fuckin' hooked, man.

I'm drinking, like,
four cans a day,

Basically pissing
red, yellow and green.

- Go for five, papo.
- Yeah!

Aha!

You see how beautiful? That's
the face of rasta monsta.

- next billboard,
I promise you'll see it.

Watch, I'll bet you my smile
sells more cans than my booty.

Ooh, I wouldn't
go that far.

Just kidding, baby.
Take it easy.

Excuse you.

Oh, me? Your tush
- it's been taunting me all night.

Oh- yo- oh, is that-
is that your lady?

My bad, bro. No-

- What the fuck is wrong
with you, huh? - No, I didn't-

- Ow.
- Shoot him.

- Shoot him!
- I got you.

- Hey.
- You think this could work?

- Yeah. Yeah yeah, go.
- Okay.

Wait, do it with me.

No, I gotta watch
so you don't drown.

No. No, come on, please do
this with me. I'm freaking out.

- Come on, man!
- You're killing me, man.

- Come on!
- Okay okay.

- The count of three.
- Okay.

One, two...
- One, two...

- Three.
- Shit!

You're good?

Ah!

What?

This is crisp.
This is our story right here.

- Temporary insanity?
- No, loyalty.

You think the brooks brothers
had each other's back like this?

No!

Well well well, bonjour, rachel. Ca va?

- Et bonjour, domingo.
- How you doin', girl?

- I'm good.
- You look good.

How's the dog-walking
business going?

Good good. You know, I got a
little schnauzer up in the mix.

- Right on. - I got some
eggs in other baskets-

- Green baskets.
- Like reclaimed fabric, or-

No, not at all.
I sell weed on the side.

- Ah, gotcha. - Yeah, so
if you ever need anything-

- All right?
- Oh, all right.

"domingo dean,
canines and cannabis. "

Yeah, I came up with that
myself. Guilty as charged.

- That's really good.
- Yeah.

My man, please.

You spill it,
we bill it, okay?

Please keep the brew
away from the merch.

Thank you.

- I don't get it.
- I mean...

Hey, bro, what the hell
are you doing?

What? You heard
what rene said.

He was kidding.
What's wrong with you?

I don't know
if he was kidding.

You're always trying to be
a cowboy. Put that shit away.

Are you seeing this
or am I still high?

No no no,
I see it too.

Where have you been? We were
all worried sick about you guys.

- Hi. You okay?
- Hey.

- Uh... - Why are
you- you're all wet.

Yeah, it's kind of
a crazy story.

How gangsta
- you didn't even show up at your own party.

The cops did.

- Uh...
- Hey.

- You're back. Hey.
- Yeah. Hi.

Aw, god,
crisp is awesome, man.

Seriously it's great.
I had no idea, so...

- Thanks. This is julie.
- We met.

- We met.
- You have?

- That's great.
- Can I have some of that?

- Hi, are you ben?
- Yes.

Hi, andy sussman.
Small-world story-

My father jerry is friends with
your father from brooklyn college.

Oh, that's very cool.

Thank you for supporting
this event.

Oh, no, of course.
Of course.

Yeah, I like what you did here
with the girls and the sweatshirts.

- Ben: Oh yeah.
- It was pretty good.

You know,
we have a swroom

You should come see
if you're ever in midtown.

I'd like to talk to you guys
about being your sales rep.

- Oh.
- Let's talk next week.

- Yes.
- Yeah.

- Will do.
- All right.

- Nice meeting you folks.
- Yeah.

- Peace.
- Kaplan: So, boychiks,

I gotta give you the good
news/bad news of tonight.

The bad news was there
was a bit of a shootout,

But the good news

Was crisp sold
55 units tonight.

- 55 is a good start.
- That's a great start!

Domingo:
Damn right.

Why don't you relax?
You look stressed.

- Hmm?
- I'm good.

I'll take that.
Thank you.

Partake. Partake.

Crisp, baby!

Bye.

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