How to Make It in America (2010–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - Big in Japan - full transcript

* I need a dollar dollar *

- * a dollar, that's what I need *
- * hey hey *

* well, I need a dollar dollar *

- * a dollar, that's what I need *
- * hey hey *

* said I need a dollar dollar *

* a dollar, that's what I need *

* and if I share with
you my story *

* would you share your
dollar with me? *

* well, I don't know if I'm
walking on solid ground *

* and all I want is *

* for someone to help me *



* I need a dollar dollar *

* a dollar, that's what I need *

*nd if I share with you my story *

* would you share your
dollar with me? *

- I got it.
- Point game. Come on.

It's all right.
I got it. I got it.

Foul.

F-- come on, junior.
That's a weak call.

When I was your age, you had to
draw blood to call foul like that.

- Your shit is weak, old man.
- I'm gonna show you old man.

Come on, man. - You'd better
bring it stronger than that.

Let it go, guys.

What?

Cam! Cam!



Cam! Cam, wide open.

Hot sauce!

- Yeah!
- Man: Yeah, man.

"hot sauce"? Really?

- Rachel: Darren.
- Yeah?

- Are you okay?
- Yeah, sure. Why?

No reason. You're just
staring at the cheez doodles.

- Oh, am I?
- You were...

In a really intense way.

I guess I'm just curious,
you know-- what they mean.

- What they mean?
- Yeah, well,

You have to admit it's
kind of an odd gift.

It's-- it's silly.

All right. You know what? If you don't
want to tell me, I understand. It's fine.

No no. When ben and I
first started dating

We used to debate everything.
We ended up in this debate one night

About cheez doodles versus cheetos.

I like cheetos.
He likes cheez doodles.

It's really stupid.
We stopped debating after that.

I think he was just trying to
be funny by giving me those.

Yeah, it's funny.

I can get rid of them if they
make you feel uncomfortable.

No. Why waste them, right?

They made some bullshit ass calls

And on top of that they
were talking mad shit.

Whatever, man. You talked
as much shit as they did.

Yeah, but I talk shit
because I can back it up...

- Usually.
- Wow.

- What?
- That's pete powell.

Pete powell? As in genetic
denim pete powell?

- Ben: Yup.
- Cam: Yo, let's go grab him.

No. I called him four times,
he never called me back.

He's obviously not looking to talk.
Whatever, man.

We've got our samples.
We're good. We don't need him.

Yo, man, I bet once upon a
time he had a sample too.

Now you selling his
shit at barneys.

It's not gonna hurt to ask, right?

Yo! Yo, pete! Pete powell! - Cam.

Yo, hold up. What's up, man?

It's cam. Cam calderon.

You know my boy ben,
right? Ben epstein?

- My old barmy buddy.
- How's it going, man?

- It's good.
- Same old same old?

You know I tried calling you,
right? - You did?

- A few times.
- I don't check messages.

You should've texted me.
What did you want to talk about?

We're starting a
denim line. - Yeah.

Good for you guys. - You got a
couple of minutes to talk about it?

Yeah, we could use
some good pointers.

Guys, I'm in town for 24 hours.

The only thing I've got time for is

Business meetings and seeing my mother.
Next time I'm in town,

I'll take you to dinner
and we'll talk, all right?

- Yeah, man. It's all good.
- Oh, come on.

You can't do a quick l.A.
-Style latte with your old buddy?

Your partner's a
little pushy, ben. -

I'm a lot pushy, actually.

How can I say no to
two guys on the grind?

Besides, I could use
a cup of coffee.

Black. I don't do lattes.

- Que pasa, bro?
- Rene. Hola.

Yeah, how's that
rasta monsta moving?

I'm trying to push it, rene.

Most people around here are looking

To get fucked up though,
not so energized.

Well, do what you can, man.
It's appreciated.

Have you seen my cousin tito?

They tell me he's spending a
lot of time here these days.

- Yeah, he's in the back.
- He's in the back?

- Yeah.
- Oh, okay. Thanks, joe.

little tito puente!

Shit, rene. Don't you knock?
What if I was naked?

What the fuck would you be
doing naked in a bar for?

- You don't know?
- Know what?

Gloria-- she kicked
me out of the house.

- I've been living here.
- So how come you didn't call me?

I did. You never called me back.

Yeah, probably because I
thought you needed some money.

- Nah, I just needed a place to stay.
- Oh! That's worse.

See? Everybody's turning their
back on me-- even my own family.

Come on, I'm just kidding with you.
You're my favorite cousin.

Now get dressed. We've got
to go over to your house.

What for? - You remember
that little package

I gave you to hide in
the basement for me?

Yeah, of course. I put it in the
ceiling like you told me to.

That's good.
I need it now, all right?

So put your stinky-ass feet into
those adidas and let's get moving.

Rene, I ain't allowed
near the house.

- Says who?
- The court.

Gloria got a restraining
order against me.

What the fuck you do
to gloria? - Nothing.

She saw some charges from a
titty bar on my credit card.

She came after me with a blade.

I hid in the closet, called 911.

Cops came, she started crying

And they arrested me.
Can you believe that?

Yo, bro, I believe it.
You both crazy.

Come on. I've gotta go. Let's go.

So what do you got?

Crisp denim.

It's catchy. I like it.

- '70s inspired.
- Two-tone window-pane?

No no, and not bells either.

All right, I'm curious.

Curious enough to get
us a sales hookup?

Depends. I mean,
you got something I can check out?

We're actually getting our
sample today. - Sorry, guys.

- I'm on a 5:00 flight out.
- But trust us--

- They're dope.
- I'm sure they are.

I always thought you'd be the one
in the clothing business, not me.

You know this guy-
he had mad style.

Remember that time you
rocked those crazy wayfarers

To vicky wyler's party?

- Yeah, man.
- And I clowned you.

You did. - Now they're
back and hot again.

- I stick with the classics.
- Mmm.

I'll tell you what,

I've got a buyer in
town from tokyo--

A friend of mine named haraki.

He's always asking
about up-and-comers.

I'm gonna take a chance
on you guys.

I'll set up a meeting.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Thank you, man.

He was staring at the
cheez doodles.

- Staring how?
- Like this. Like--

That's quite a stare.

Yeah, and then... He ate them.

Wow. That is intense.

I mean, it's kind of a
dickish move if you ask me.

Maybe. I-- I understand it.

- You do?
- Sure.

Those cheez doodles are more
than just a snack to darren.

They're like a message
from ben saying,

"hey, asshole. I got there first."

I don't think that's what
ben was trying to do.

Well, what were you trying to say by
bringing them up to darren's apartment?

I wasn't trying to say anything.
They just were with all my other gifts.

It's a little insensitive.

Not only did you bring your
ex to your party,

But then you kept his
gift out on display.

Are you not ready to move on?

Yes, edie, I'm-
I'm ready to move on.

Then start showing it.

* I don't wanna ill,
I just wanna chill *

* and keep my hand around
a $100 bill *

* I don't wanna ill,
I just wanna chill... *

Yeah, I would definitely
live in l.A.

- You're lying.
- Why would I lie to you?

All right, fine.
You're lying to yourself then.

What? You think I'm gonna
die living in the l.E.S.?

- Yes, I do.
- That's harsh, bro.

All right, fine. You might move
to brooklyn for a minute though.

Wait. Why do you think
I'm never gonna leave?

Because your grandmother won't,

And how are you gonna
live without her cooking

And cleaning all your clothes, huh?

I'll get a girlfriend.

Not if they hear you saying
shit like that, you won't.

Whatever. I'll prove you wrong.

I'm gonna be living where
there's fun in the sun, son.

Yeah, all right.
I'll believe it when I see it.

You are gonna see it.
You're coming with me.

I'm not moving anywhere, man.

I was born here.
I'm gonna die here.

And you know why?

- You know why.
- Don't sing that song.

* 'cause, oh,
I'm a native new yorker. *

Marsha, my lov did you miss me?

- And you are?
- Cam. From crisp denim.

How can you forget about
me like that? I'm hurt.

- Would you stop harassing her?
- Don't worry about me.

- I can handle this one.
- We're here to pick up our sample.

Have a seat. And please feel free

To take mr. Pickup
artist here with you.

Oh.

What the fuck you want?

Hey hey, come on. Is that any way

To be talking in front
of my grandmother?

Oh. I'm sorry, rosa.

I didn't see you. - Well,
are you gonna invite us in or what?

- Yeah, of course. Sure.
- Thank you.

- Rosa: You're getting a divorce?
- I know tito's your blood

But, with all due respect to you,
he's also made of slime.

You're family too.

Fami has to be there for
family during times like this.

Yeah yeah. We're here
to show you some support.

That is so sweet of you, rosa.

What am I, invisible?

You too, I guess.

Please, have a seat.
I'll make you some coffee.

- Gracias.
- Mm-hmm.

Sorry about the wait, fellas.

I know you're a busy man.

That's why I'm still alive-
too busy to die.

All my retired friends-- dead.

And the rest of 'em got
nothing to live for

Except snot-nosed grandkids

And arguing with
health-insurance providers.

Not me. Me, I'm a worker.

Here we are.

- That looks dope.
- Yeah.

Are you troubled

Or are you jumping for
joy on the inside?

No, it just looked a little
different in my head.

I think they look good. Try 'em on.

- You can go back there.
- Yeah? Okay.

He's a nice boy, but he carries
a lot of tension in his belly.

he needs yoga.

He needs to get laid.

That's what I've been
trying to tell him.

Ben, come on. Let me see.

Good looking pant.

Not the right cut for you, though.

I think they look good.

They're exactly what you wanted.

Yes, because I'm a fucking moron.

No, you're just a little insane,

'cause you hate
everything you ever done.

No real guy would wear these.

- I would.
- Would you really?

Jesus. - Only 'cause
they're too tight.

I like a little loose.
You know that, ben.

I'm throwing these in the
fucking trash. - Whoa, hold on.

They're not just yours to throw away.
They're mine too.

- What about the meeting tonight?
- What about it?

We can't not show up.

Your boy pete put himself
out there for us.

I'm sure if he saw these,
he'd be happy if we didn't show.

The jeans are fine,
okay? We're going.

There's no shot we're going.

Then I'm going alone. Unlike you,
I'm not gonna blow this chance.

Oh, okay. Here you go. Fine. Fine.

He's gonna laugh in your face.
Just leave me out of it, all right?

Cool cool. Thanks for
the encouragement, dick.

I'm a dick? Well,
at least I can admit

That I've got no one to blame
for this but myself, cam.

Now just leave me alone.

Here's a game for hinky-poo.

The black's for me,
the red's for you.

Are you guys following this?

Right here. Flip it. Come on.

yeah! Right there, boys.

- Pay up. Let's go.
- Man: Beginner's luck.

Oh.

You know what?
Keep your money, fellas.

It's cool.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Am I seeing you for
dinner tonight?

Um, yes. In fact,

I thought maybe we could try
something a little different.

Different how? - Well, you know the
gardens at the cloisters?

Of course. - do you
want to have sex there?

You want to have sex with me
outdoors in the cloisters?

I'm game if you're game.

Is this about the cheez doodles?

- No, I, umm--
- come on, rach.

Okay, it does have something to do

With the cheez doodles situation.

I'm really sorry about that.

I-- I just wanted to
do something with you

That I had never done
with anyone else.

You know, I appreciate what
you're doing. I really do.

Actually, I think I
owe you an apology.

I was an ass this morning when
I ate the cheez doodles.

It was a dick move.
I'm really sorry.

So I-- I don't have to
have sex with you outdoors

In order to make you feel special?

- Uh, no.
- Oh, good.

But while we're on the subject,

There is something that
I would like to do,

That I have never
done before, with you.

What's that?

- Ecstasy.
- Really?

Yeah, I never did it. I was always
such a jock in school.

You know what? I-- I did it once

With a girlfriend in college.

So do you want to do tha?

- On a school night?
- Yeah, so what?

- Sure.
- All right.

Do you know where we
can get it? - Hold on.

Edie, do you know
where I can find x?

- Top drawer on the left.
- Are you serious?

They're left over from burning man.

Do they expire?

So I think I found a lead.

When I was your age,

There was no such
thing as a divorce.

You did not run.

You stayed. You fixed the problem.

But men were gentlemen
back then, rosa.

Men were always men.

But did they smoke cocaine?

Gamble away the wedding gifts?

Spend the I.R.S. Tax check

On some cheap ho's at
the strip bar?

This is what tito does?

Yeah. - I gotta go to the bathroom,
okay?

come on. Shh shh.

- where is she?
- Just shut up. Get over there.

Gloria is not bad-mouthing
me to rosa, is she?

Hey, my grandmother,
she catches me with a bag of cash

And I got to explain to
her where it came from,

- I'm going to kill you.
- There's cash in that package?

- What did you think was in that package?
- I don't know-- guns.

No, man, there's 100k
in there. Let's go.

100k? And you tell me now? - Yeah.
Money does funny things to people.

I thought it would be best not
to lead you into temptation.

- What the fuck is this?
- Holy shit.

What happened to my rec room?

My ping-pong? - Bro,
go look for my money.

Hurry the fuck up.

There ain't nothing here, bro.

You'd better be fucking
kidding me, tito.

- You'd better be fucking kidding me.
- I swear.

I put it right here.
It was here a month ago.

- I put the package right here.
- You fucking with me, bro?

no! I'm telling
you it's not here!

What the fuck is
going on down here?

What the fuck are you doing here,
you cocksucker?

He's doing the same
thing I'm doing--

Looking for my money.

- What money?
- The money you stole.

I didn't steal no fucking money.

I put rene's money up in the
ceiling and now it's gone?

He's full of shit, rene.
He probably shoveled it up is nose.

Rene, you know I would not steal
from you, 'cause I love you

And I respect you,
but mostly because I fear you.

Get it through your head-
he's a manipulator.

Bullshit. What about you?

Where the hell did
you get all the money

To get all this shit
if you didn't take it?

- None of your fucking business.
- See, rene? She took it.

I got the money from my father,
you scummy piece of shit.

He sold his chevy so I
could open my business.

Now you two better get
your asses out of my parlor

And off my property in 20 seconds

- Or I'm calling the cops.
- Let's calm down, all right?

- We're family here.
- No, we ain't family.

You ruined my parlor.
I fucking hate you.

what's going on in here?

Nothing, grandma.
Look, I-- I'll explain this later.

Look, I promise-
I swear I'm gonna fix

This all up for you, gloria.
All right?

Just tell me who was the contractor
that did this work for you.

Flaco.

Flaco? From the vladeck projects?

- Yeah.
- Tito: Flaco.

Now you really have a
reason to hate him.

oh yeah.

Boy #2: Yeah!

All right, man.
Come on, do it again.

Yeah, take it! Yeah, nice.

Can I get a smoke
off of you, mister?

Yo, you're like 12.

Fuck off, asshole.

* once upon a time I was
the hurricane boy *

* there was no eye in me
for you to hide... *

Hey, we've just got
to sit and wait.

* head low, don't show
oceans in my eyes *

* as the waves clap
goodbye to sorrow *

* daddy's on the mountain yelling
at the bloody sky... *

- Nice rack, my man.
- Thanks.

* mama's in the mirror,
acting out another life... *

- This is ecstasy?
- Yes.

I always thought it was gonna
be bigger or something.

Trust me. That little
pill is all you need.

- It's that good, huh?
- Yeah.

- Here it goes.
- Yeah. Oh jesus.

How long until we feel something?

- 30 seconds.
- 30...?

- Just kidding.
- Oh.

Soon enough, my dear.

- What should we do?
- Let's listen to music.

Hey, mauricio,
how about some tunes, man?

* you leave in the morning with
everything you own *

* in a little black case *

* alone on a platform,
the wind and the rain... *

- Rene?
- Hola, marie.

It's been a long time.

Yeah, it has.You look g.

You look good too.

What are you doing here?

I'm looking for flaco.

What's going on?

I just want to talk
some business with him.

It's about time you two grew up
and put the past in the past.

Yeah, you know,
I was thinking the same thing.

That sounds like his
car coming up now.

That's a nice car
that he got himself.

He won it last month playing poker.

Lucky, right?

Yup. Flaco was always lucky.

- excuse me.

Are you here to meet me or is there
an asshole convention in the building?

For real. I acted like a
dick today. I'm sorry.

I still hate those jeans though.

Yeah? So why are you here then?

Because if we're going down,
then we're going down together.

Ben, we ain't going down.

- Later, cam.
- Nice meeting you, cam.

So-- yo yo, how'd it go?
It was good.

We'll see.

- I'll put in a good word.
- Man: Appreciate it.

- Making friends?
- What?

Hey, guys, haraki's
gonna need two minutes.

- Are you cool?
- Yeah, cool.

Thank you.

* I can do it any way that
you want it... *

God. This is the
best I've ever felt

In my whole life, rachel.

- Just go with it!
- I will. I will.

God. I've always wanted
to feel like this.

This is incredible.
I just feel free.

I just... Feel free.

Oh, god. I love you.

- What?
- I love you.

- I love you too.
- Hey, and I love you.

Oh my god.

- Darren: Do you love me?
- Woman: Of course.

Oh god. Oh.

Good craftsmanship. Well made.

Thanks. - Crisp is all
about the quality.

Mmm. But I don't like the cut.

Not for me.
Not for japanese consumer.

You don't think they're gonna
love the old-school flavor?

No. Thank you.

- You have something else?
- No, just the jeans.

Okay, my friends.
You come see me next time.

- I come every six months.
- I appreciate your time. Thank you.

Cool shirt.

- Oh, it's american apparel.
- No, his shirt.

Oh. Thanks.

- Who makes that one?
- I did--

A long time ago though.

- Vintage?
- Yeah, high school.

Could you make 300 more?

- Uh...
- Definitely.

Good. I will need
them by next Wednesday.

My assistant will call
you in the morning.

Have a good night.

* life is so strange *

* when you don't know *

* how can you tell *

* where you're going to? *

* you can't be sure of
any situation... *