House (2004–2012): Season 8, Episode 7 - Dead & Buried - full transcript

(DOOR OPENS)

The Patuxent River
Naval Air Station near DC

was commissioned in 1843
by John McCain's grandfather.

I'm thinking of
going hang-gliding.

Pax River's,
like, completely flat.

I think that's why they tested
the V-22 Osprey there.

I like naval stuff.

I like their oranges and lint.

What looks like
kidney disease but isn't?
And where's Chase?

Root canal and Berger's.
The first one was
regarding Chase,

root canal, if done
correctly, doesn't look
like kidney disease.



Got a case for you.

Smells funny.

Patient had
an idiopathic
anaphylactic reaction,

stumped two ER docs
and an immunologist
from Johns Hopkins.

Patient went from asymptomatic
to fried kidneys
in less than a year,

stumped three internists
and a department
chair from Harvard.

Fourteen-year-old girl,
intermittent attacks.

Four-year-old boy,
consistently at death's door.

This patient
died five years ago.

Didn't say which side
of the door he was on.

The fact that he's dead
makes it more interesting.

Four-year-olds do
not die of Berger's.

I thought it was relevant.

Death is a consequence,
not a symptom,



and if it's not a symptom,
it's not relevant.

Shouldn't we be
trying to maximize
what we can save here?

The 14-year-old,
your freedom, our asses...

Right. Save your asses.

She was in a car
accident when she was two.

She only had minor injuries
but her father died.

That was 12 years ago.
You think that's pertinent?

No, I think it's sad.

She got sick
in the middle of her
14th birthday party.

Which is sad and pertinent.

Maybe she was
opening a present
that triggered the reaction.

Where's House?
Pissing contest
with Foreman.

Last thing she ate
was strawberry cake

but allergy
tests for everything
were negative.

You like your dentist?
I'm still going to
my pediatric one.

What's your dentist's name?

Williams.

JESSICA: But what if it's not
an allergic reaction?

Hereditary angioedema
or systemic

mastocytosis could
mimic anaphylaxis.

You're not sure of his name?
You just saw him this morning.

The assistant's name is Angie,
her home number is...

Normal complement studies,
no skin lesions.

You had a manicure.
This is fresh.
You weren't at the dentist.

Why would you
lie about that?

To avoid having
this conversation.

JESSICA: Elevated BP.
What about
pheochromocytoma?

Or an anaphylactoid reaction,
which could be
triggered by certain opioids.

You've had your
hair cut three times
since I've met you.

You can't be
embarrassed
about a manicure.

There's got to be
a deeper reason.

Did House give you homework?

She's not on any meds.

Haven't you heard?
Everybody lies.

And the tox screen was clean.

Feel free to
jump in at any time.

We'll check
catecholamines for pheo

and run an expanded
opioid panel.

You see what
the patient says about

drug use when her
mother's out of the room.

No. Never.

Nobody's here to
bust you, Iris,

we just need to know if...
No. I already told you.

I just take
vitamin C sometimes.

What exactly were you doing
when you had your reaction?

Opening a birthday present.
The Magic 8-Ball.

The joke gift,
not the cocaine.
Is that it?

Certain drugs could
explain her reaction.

What kind of drugs?

What kind did
you have in mind?

Iris has always
been a moody girl,

and now that she's a teenager,
it's gotten worse.

So for the past few months,
I've been giving
something to relax her.

Diazepam.
I tell her
it's vitamin C.

Being normal is
very important to Iris.

She couldn't handle
the thought of being on meds.

Anti-anxiety
medications would
explain it.

If we keep her off,
she'll be moody
but healthy.

(IRIS COUGHING AND CHOKING)

Or it's something else.

HOUSE: Need to DDx
a patient with you.

I thought you had
a team for that.

According to Foreman,
they're only

for DDxing people
who are still alive.

You have a dead patient?

Bigotry is born
when we add modifiers.

I don't see creed,
color, pulse.

Foreman will find out
you're taking this case
and he'll bust you.

But you know that,
which means...

You want to go back to jail

because it's the one place

you're unable to indulge
your self-destructive habits.

Yeah. It's much more likely
that I'm taking this case

because I miss
showering with
Cro-Magnons,

than I actually happen
to find it interesting.

Four-year-old kid.

His kidneys died,
they transfused,
his lungs died, he died.

Have you seen
Bride of the Monster?

I just got
the Ed Wood box set.

What if the chicken
was the egg?

What if the lung
involvement came first?

I don't really
care about the movie,

I just don't want
to indulge your...

Lupus.

Because this is
a bad idea, House.

If the kid had a rash
or some circulation issue...

Damn!

Sorry. Just realized I'm late
for my anger management class.

GENE: Traffic, for sure.

DIXON: Taxes.
GENE: Definitely taxes.

LENA: Spoiled grandchildren.

Platitudes.

Any others?

And I lose my temper
when someone suggests

that a handful of
pop-psych catchphrases

can control our most seminal,
intractable

and natural
reaction to a dead child.

Am I right, Emory?

I don't think Emory
wants to share right now.

They blew it, didn't they?
They missed your son's rash.

A faint one, on his cheek.

He didn't have a rash.

I think we should talk about
Lena's grandchildren.

They're alive.

Was he sensitive to sunlight?
No.

Greg.
Cold fingers and toes?

No!

Wegener's granulomatosis.
I need to examine your son.

You're a bit late
for that, you ass.

With you and
your wife's consent,

we could get
an exhumation order.

Find out what killed him.

Ex-wife and you'll
never get her consent.

She's moved on,
new hub, new kid.

She wants nothing to
do with Drew's death.

Or me.

You're angry
because your kid died.

More than that,
because you
don't have an answer.

People need answers.

He's in a crypt at
St. Jude's Cemetery.

JESSICA: You feeling
any pain or cramp in here?

A bit.

But not just there. Um...

Here.

Breast tenderness.
Have you been having
regular periods, Iris?

Not really.

What is it?

I think we should
run a pregnancy test.

Iris isn't sexually active.
She doesn't even
have a boyfriend.

Pregnancy would explain
all of her symptoms,

can even cause
some unpredictable
allergic reactions.

How can I be pregnant
if I've never even had sex?

We just need to
draw a bit of blood.

What's the matter?

My arms.

I can't feel my arms.

At this rate,
I'm gonna need to pick
out a plot for myself.

MILTON: Thanks to your
generous donation,
you have all morning.

More like 13 minutes.

Before we proceed
any further.. Doctor,
I'd like to inquire

as to exactly what procedure
you intend to perform
on the remains.

You ever heard of
the North American Man
Dead Boy Love Association?

I consider these
grounds to be a holy place

and I would ask
you to observe them
with due decorum.

So you're taking
bribes to plunder graves
and I need to show respect.

I think they got
the cause of death wrong

and if I find
a hole in the cartilage
of his nose, right about here,

then it means I'm right.

Please be respectful.

I have prepared
the sarcophagus for you.

Thank you, Igor.

It's Milton.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)
(CLANGING)

You owe me
a new pair of pants.

(HANGS UP)

JESSICA: She is pregnant.
Test came back positive.

So she lost
the use of her arms
and her innocence.

A vengeful god or...

TAUB: Cerebral tumor.

JESSICA: Vasculitis.

CHI: MS.

I gather from the silence
that Chase isn't there.

No, I'm here.
Where are you?

"Nowhere, "
he said cryptically.

I assume you concur
with the diagnosis.

Absolutely.

Even though there
are three diagnoses.

And MS and vasculitis
usually get
better with pregnancy.

Yeah. I was saying I agreed
with the other one.

He's had his eyebrows waxed.

CHASE: I met a woman
who likes her
men well-groomed.

All over?

I assume from the silence
that Chase has
had a Brazilian.

Cool.
Interesting.

Ouch.

The question is,
is this really about a woman,

or is it about
something more profound?

Another question is,
could the paraesthesia
be caused by an STD?

HIV-related
mononeuritis multiplex.

I gather from the silence
that either you
all agree with Chase

or you're just staring
at his emasculated brow.

In either case, test for HIV
and do an MRI to
rule out tumors.

And check Chase
for testosterone.

(MACHINE WHIRRING)

Bloodwork was
negative for HIV.
All the money's on tumor.

How was the Brazilian?

It was fine. Hurt a bit.

What about House's theory?
Why'd you really do it?

Because I'm vain
and shallow.
And you weren't before?

The girl I was seeing wasn't.
There's nothing profound here.

No tumor either.
It's not her brain.

Everything looks good.

What's the matter?
My arms.

CHASE: Still nothing?
No. Now they're sore.

The paraesthesia's gone.

Could the bruising
be caused
by physical trauma?

You think she fell
out of bed repeatedly?

A blood disorder,
maybe thrombocytopenia?

A vitamin K
deficiency or scurvy

could explain
bleeding problems

and pregnancy
could exacerbate it.

Boys, do a home search,
girls.. do the lab tests.

I'm pretty sure
that's not sexist.

Where've you been?

Picking up dry cleaning,
filling up the tank,
violating the dead.

If you don't believe me,
call the monitoring company.

I did.

Unfortunately,
the Patuxent River

Naval Air
Station was GPS testing

and disrupted the signal

at the exact same 45 minutes
you weren't here.

If I'd known I had
45 minutes of freedom,

I would have
gone hang-gliding.

I admire the creativity.

But what happens
when the stunt doesn't work?

You think you're gonna
have to pay off a bet?

You think I'm gonna
triple your clinic hours?

I'm gonna call your PO
and you're gonna
go back to jail.

HOUSE: There are Mees lines
on his fingernails,

so now I'm thinking
heavy metal poisoning.

You're an addict.
And I'm an idiot

for thinking that your
addictions were limited

to pills, anti-social
behavior and sarcasm.

(BURPS) Sorry.
Vicodin repeating on me.

You're also
addicted to puzzles.

You show all
the classic behaviors,

lying,
neglecting responsibilities,

and you can't stop no matter
how devastating
the consequences.

Working on
a medical case is not

a parole violation,
it's my job description.

Your job description is doing
what Foreman tells you to do.

Never mind Bride
of the Monster,
you need to watch Norma Rae.

HOUSE: Before we get started,
I just want to

thank you all for
agreeing to relocate.

I had an appointment
in this part of town

and I obviously
didn't want to
miss this meeting.

But thank you. I'm buying.

Not literally.

Hey, Emory,
shall we powder our noses?

Hey, did you know your ex-wife
still lives right
behind this place?

She finishes work at 4:00,
picks up her new kid at 4:15.

Gives us about 20 minutes.

I made some calls.

It's amazing what
people will tell you
if you ask rudely enough.

Was that table here?

Some kinds of
pressure-treated wood
can contain arsenic.

We shouldn't be here.

We don't have a choice.

This is the only way
I'm gonna get your answer.

Does your ex leave
a spare key anywhere?

How did he look?

Peaceful.

Vitamin K deficiency's a bust.

Fridge has more
spinach and broccoli
than a farmers' market.

The Brazilian,
you said it hurt a bit.

You've had one?
More than one.
And you haven't.

They hurt all your bits.

That's my dark secret.
What's yours?

I had the nails
and eyebrows done
but that's it.

I just needed to
create a distraction.

I met a TV
producer at a dinner,

she asked me to appear
on their medical segment.

I screen tested it
yesterday and shot it today.

You're a TV doctor?

It's a one-off.
When did it air?

Two hours ago,
otherwise I'd
still be lying.

This is what she was opening
when she had her attack.

Will anyone believe Chase
is an actual doctor?

"Don't count on it."

She does have a boyfriend.

Love letters.

Porn?
CHASE: The nasty kind.

Torture, rape, animals.

Sweet kid.

(GASPS)

This is all that's left.

One box in
the bottom of a closet.

He used to wear
those stupid things
all the time.

I used to have to
pretend I was scared.

Made in the People's
Republic of Lead Paint.

Back door.

Let's get out of here first.
Need to catch
the end of our class.

(DOOR CLOSES)

I met him at school.

He was the only
boy that liked me.

It's a little more than like.

We haven't had sex.

Oh, come on,
Iris, you're pregnant.

So I'm just lying
about everything?

Well,
you lied about
the boyfriend,

you obviously
lied about sex
and this garbage.

They're his. He can't
keep them at his place.

Well, I'm glad we could
be so accommodating.

What else don't I know?

Honey.

What is it?

He came here last night,
and he told me I should leave.

But I didn't want
to and he got mad.

He hit you?
Physical trauma.

TAUB: Explains the negatives
for the blood disorders.

We should call the police.

I won't tell them anything.

That's ridiculous,
he beat you.

What is it?

It's getting hard to see.

What the hell is
happening to me?

Rubbing alcohol, vinegar...

Not sure what this is.

Aren't there
actual medical tests?

Dead patients usually get
a lower standard of care.

Pink means lead,
orange means mercury
and rust means arsenic.

EMORY: What's brown mean?

Scotch.

He used to call him Deezer.

He couldn't say "zebra."

Made up his own
words for everything.
We called them Drewisms.

How does your ex-wife do it?

How come she's not
angry and miserable?

She treated it like
it never happened.

She never even cried.

Not even at his funeral.

I was a mess and she
just sat there like

a statue.

We have a problem.

Does it limp?

(ELEVATOR DINGS)

Why do you care if
he works on two cases?

Because next it'll be
three cases, then four,

then animal cases
and ghost cases,
then animal-ghost cases.

Assuming, of course,
we are talking about House.

You're just setting
yourself up to fail.

He has a lot more
to lose than I do.
And he knows that.

He's rational.

No, he's not.

He's the most
rational man I've ever met.
Annoyingly so.

He's not gonna put
himself back in jail
over a dead kid.

He's an addict.

And he will put
himself back in jail
over a puzzle.

He'll back down.

Halfway through
the perimetry exam,
her tunnel vision went away.

She could see perfectly.
CHASE: TIA.

The word "transient"
is right there in the name.

(HOUSE CHUCKLING)

Ah. Here we go.

Shazza, after giving
the pics an eye or two,

I can confirm that
Lauren's surgeries
cost her some big bikkies.

Not only was there
a gut tuck, nose tuck,
and arse tuck,

but her new fake
norks stick out
like nuts on a mutt.

The original script wasn't...

(SHUSHING)
CHASE: (ON TV)
Anyone notice Brad's

cossie fitting
a little bit snugger?
He's enlightening us.

CHASE: (ON TV) That's 'cause
he's retooled the ol' todger.

Let's just hope
no one cut the wrong wire,
eh? (CHUCKLING)

(MOCK CHUCKLING)

So you just wanted
to look pretty on TV?

Question is,
why did he want that?

Clinic time.

What do you want us to do?

MRA for TIA.

ROFL.

Thought you only had
clinic on Tuesdays.

Oh, you're right.

Hi. I'm here for
the free flu shot.
I got a call saying...

And I'm here to find out
why you didn't care
about your first kid.

Losing a child,
you just breezed
right through it.

What do you know
about my first kid?

Couldn't even
squeeze out a single tear
at the funeral.

Where are you getting this?
Couldn't wait to squeeze out

a brand new replacement kid.

Damn it.

You had no right to say that.

I know. I deserved the slap.

But I was hoping
that you
weren't capable of it.

Apathetic hyperthyroidism.

Could have kidney involvement,
could be genetic,
definitely causes apathy.

I was hoping that
your lack of emotion

was a symptom of something
you could've passed
on to your first son.

You know Emory.

We belong to the same club.

He wants to
relive this, I don't.

So I heard.

Emory was a wonderful man.

Never afraid to
show his emotions.

Which is great
most of the time
but when Drew died,

it overwhelmed him.

I vowed I wouldn't
let that happen to me.

That's why you left him?

I left because of his eyes.

He had Drew's eyes.

Who used to babysit Drew?

My father, but...
His place or yours?

There are two types of people.

Those who can move on
and those who can't.

My father keeps
up a good front
but he's just like Emory.

You need to leave him alone.

So he has two types of
people inside of him.

MRI was normal.

Yeah...

I found out where
your boyfriend lives.

When I paid him a visit,
he took off,

ran in front of a car.

You're lying.

He's down in the ER right now.

Shut up,
you lying sack of crap!

Iris.

How do you know I'm lying?

How do you know
that your boyfriend is okay?

'Cause I'm right here,
you dick.

Iris has dissociative
identity disorder

also known as multiple
personality disorder.

Are you saying I'm crazy?

It's the mind's
response to a severe trauma.

The person
experiences something

that's too
difficult to accept,

so they create
alternate personalities
that don't have to accept it.

Some think it's
quite a natural reaction.

Iris hasn't had
any severe traumas.

The car accident.

I was two.

I don't remember anything.

These personalities
that I'm supposed
to have, where are they?

They only come out
when you're afraid
or anxious.

That's why House used
the hurt-boyfriend story.

But if there's no boyfriend,
where did the bruises
come from?

The pregnancy?

When you say your
boyfriend hit you,

it means you
actually hit yourself.

TAUB: And the pregnancy
doesn't take a boyfriend,
just a boy.

You may not be aware
of half the things
you've done.

How could this be happening
to my own daughter
without me knowing it?

Diazepam was masking it.
Taking her off
made it more apparent.

But I... I wasn't on...
Diazepam? What is that?

That's what those
vitamin pills were.

Iris, I'm so sorry.

I just thought
you were moody.

I didn't want you to think
you needed medication.

Oh, my God,
I can't believe
how stupid I've been.

We need you to help
us with something.

Different alters can have
different apparent symptoms,

allergies,
paraesthesia, vision loss,
changes in blood pressure.

Do you think I'm
making this up?

Your symptoms are real,

but some are physiological
and others are psychological.

So there's something
wrong with her

in addition to
the multiple
personalities?

Yes, but we won't know what
until we access her alters

and compare their symptoms.

How do you do that?

Hypnosis.

Foreman's not gonna back down.

He's not an idiot.
Yes, he is.

Just like you.
If you keep being stubborn,
he will keep being stubborn.

Eventually you will
screw something up,

which will be bad
news for both of you

but only one of you
will be in prison.

It just isn't worth it, House.

Okay.

Uh... Yes, sir.
Yes, I know I told you

that I had
a chiropractor's
appointment,

but I got a flat.

I know, right?

So, don't send out
the Marines.

I should be back
on the road
in a few minutes.

Okay, bye.

Dr. James Wilson,
county coroner.

I'd like to ask you
about your grandson,
Drew Lemaine.

(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)

What did he do
when he was here?

Where did he play?
What did he eat?

We watched a lot of TV.
And ate biscuits.

Did you give him
sidewalk chalk?
No.

Fingerpaints?
No.

A sandbox?

Like I said,
we watched a lot of TV.

(CAR DOOR CLOSES)

You expecting someone?

What?

Dr. Wilson, my ass.

I told you to leave him alone,
you son of a bitch!

Temper trigger!

CHASE:
Who am I talking to now?

IRIS: Nobody.

CHASE: You must be somebody.

I'm too little.

Nobody sees me.

Nobody knows I'm here.

JESSICA: BP just went
to 140 over 90.

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

What is it?

My arms.

You can't feel them?

It's okay,
we can fix that.

Do you hurt anywhere else?

Not right now.

But you used to hurt?

When I eat strawberries.

And when I remember...

CHASE: You remember
being hurt?

I remember everything.

DAN: Baby...

It's going to be okay.

(SIREN WAILING)

FAYE: Iris,
why didn't you
ever tell me?

It was my fault Daddy died.

Oh, no.

Yes, it was.
I was crying and
he couldn't drive.

It was my fault Daddy died.

Oh, no. No, no, honey.

You were just a baby.
It wasn't your fault. No...

It was my fault.
I'm sorry, Mommy.

Poor baby.

I'm so sorry.

It wasn't a miscarriage.
Tests show she's
still pregnant.

Okay.. cross out everything
that doesn't
appear in every alter.

When she opened
the Magic 8-Ball,

it triggered
a switch to a personality
with a strawberry allergy.

Pregnancy, vaginal bleeding
and elevated BP.

Could be a preeclampsia.

Worst case, could be
an ectopic pregnancy.

We need to ultrasound.

Not seeing an embryo
in the fallopian tube.

Not seeing
an embryo anywhere.

HOUSE: Which idiot did
the pregnancy test?

I did one of them.
Chase did another,
Taub did a third.

Three tests,
three positives.

What happened
to your eye?

I grabbed Park's ass.

Exoplanets.

I think he said
exoplanets.
Wait for it.

We can't actually see them,
but we infer their existence

because of
the effect they have
on the star they orbit.

Pregnancy test only
infers an embryo's existence

because of elevated
hCG levels.

Which could also
be caused
by choriocarcinoma,

which affects the placenta,
mimics pregnancy,

and causes elevated BP
and vaginal bleeding.

Occult choriocarcinoma,
which is why

we didn't see it
on the ultrasound.

Tell all the alters
that they have cancer.

Mom or dad?

Mom, dad and mom's dad.

The good news is
it made me realize
that you were right.

I can't drop it.

But now that I accept that,
I feel much less conflicted.

I've ruled out
Wegener's, Berger's,
heavy-metal poisoning...

Two trains are
about to collide

and I'm trying to
talk them out of it.

I still think I'm
missing something.

No, no. You don't
want to listen to me,

then I don't want
to listen to you.

That is so fifth grade.

I agree. And you know why?

Because I'm
just as bad as you.

I knew this would
fall on deaf ears

but I just kept
talking and talking.

You're right.

You don't even
know what I just said.

That is ridiculous.

You said,
"Blah, blah, blah..
deaf ears, blah, blah, blah."

Absolutely
essential information.

Ray! Ray!

Leave him alone!
What are you doing to him?

It's okay.

Mickey.

You? You brought him?

I asked him to meet me here
for a family reunion.

Ray!

Let's just get
out of here, okay?

I know what killed your son.

You don't get it, do you?
I don't care what killed him!

It's called Alport syndrome.

It's a genetic condition
characterized by
kidney failure,

bronchial myomas,
Mees lines and deafness.

Idiot, Drew wasn't deaf.

Son of a bitch!
Get away from them!

EMORY: House. House!

It's a genetic condition.

RAY: Shut up!
Genetic.

Your father has
the gene and so do you.

It was Grandpa's
slight deafness
that gave the game away.

You're apparently
asymptomatic,

but you still
passed the gene on
to your children.

Plural.

You're lying.

(TUNING FORK HUMMING)

He has high frequency
hearing impairment
and so did Drew.

That's why Drew
made up his own words,

'cause he couldn't
hear properly.

It's okay.
Now that we know
what it is,

he'll need treatment
but he'll live.

You know, there are platitudes
that can help you with that.

(SIREN BLARING)

I miss him, too.

(SOBBING)

She's responding well.

Cuddy threatened
him with clinic duty.

I thought
threatening him with jail
would be different.

Not an irrational thought.

I'm still sending
him back.

He saved two lives.

Which means it's
too late for me
to back down.

It's no longer my choice.

It's just me
telling him he can
get away with anything.

I have to send
him to prison.

(SIGHS)

Your job is to keep
this machine running.

It's your choice to make
House a useful tool
or a monkey wrench.

Cuddy's way didn't fail.

Because she didn't
try to control House,
she managed him.

And she knew
better than anybody
what a tool he could be.

What would Cuddy
have done?

Ten clinic hours.

Cuddy's not here anymore.

You've got 30.

(OPENS DOOR)

(DOOR CLOSES)