House (2004–2012): Season 3, Episode 19 - Act Your Age - full transcript

(CHlLDREN CHATTERlNG)

Jasper, hold still.
Stop squirming, hold still.

What did he do now?

He got in another fight
and l can't get his nose
to stop bleeding.

You have to apply
much more pressure than that.

(COUGHS)

You had to do this today.

l got office hours,
l'm supposed to have dinner
with the Dean.

You just can't lash out
whenever you get angry.

He said l smelled like
a monkey.

Well, you do. You can't
refuse to take a bath



and then hit kids
who tell you
that you smell. Damn.

Don't you think
we should call 91 1?

This isn't his first
nosebleed. He'll be fine.

Daddy!
Hey! Lucy Goosey!

l'm playing doctor.

So am l. Can you
go back and play?

(GROANS)

When was this fight?

Over ten minutes ago.

l feel dizzy.

Maybe you should
make that call.

Okay.

Daddy, look, l can help.

No, no, that's great, honey.
Can you just please
leave Daddy alone?



TEACHER: One of my kids
is bleeding profusely
from the nose. Please hurry.

They're sending an ambulance.

(SlGHS)

Call them back. He'll be fine.

How you feeling, bud?
You light-headed?

Lucy.

(GASPlNG)

Oh, my God.

Lucy? Are you okay?
Lucy? Lucy?

Lucy? Lucy, are you okay?

Lucy! Lucy!

Oh, for God's sake.

Stop. Don't move.

The way the soft evening
light catches your eyes.

The gentle caress of dusk
on your hair

as you turn around
and leave my office
without giving me that file.

Restrictive pericarditis.

Boring.

She's in kindergarten.

Less boring. Or Grandma's
been held back a few years.

lt's calcified
and she's hypertensive.

Better get her into surgery.

She already is in surgery.

Tricky procedure.
lt's gonna take all night.

Sleep tight.

No congenital defects,
no health problems,

but her heart is
strangling itself.

Fascinating.
Since the pathology
on the pericardium

won't be back
until after they remove it.

Get started on her blood.
You can test for
viral infections, bacterial...

Round up the usual suspects.

Amyloidosis, sarcoidosis,
hemochromatosis.

Heck, go wild.
Do all the -osises.

All taken care of.
Sleep tight.

FOREMAN: This thing is already
all around her heart.

lt gets into the muscle,
she's dead.

Best bet's Coxsackie virus,

Parvovirus B19, CMV.

Bacterial infection's
more likely to turn
constrictive. lt could be TB.

Right, forgot about the part
where she did
time in a Russian gulag.

Her hematocrit's elevated.

A few extra red blood cells
means nothing.

She's probably
just dehydrated.

Yes, and l could assume
three or four things
to fit my theory, too.

She's sick!
She obviously hasn't
been drinking enough...

Enough!

l take it you two
aren't sleeping
together anymore?

We do what House said,
we test for everything.

Good, then l can go home.

Since when does
we not include you?

Well, House is gonna
call us idiots, anyway.

Might as well be
a well-rested idiot.

You guys are idiots.

Why? Because we stayed up
all night doing exactly
what you told us to do?

No, because you stayed up
all night doing exactly
what l told you to do

and have nothing
to show for it.

We eliminated dozens
of wrong answers.

l asked you what two plus two
equals and a day later
you tell me, ''Not 25.''

Pathology report
just got filed.

They found granulomas
in Lucy's pericardium.

lndicates a fungal infection.

Nice work.

He went home.

Work smart, not hard.

Find out which fungus.
Biopsy a lymph node.

Take employee of the month
with you.

l would rather Foreman...
l know.

l don't want any more shots.

l don't want any more shots.

Jasper.

Look at me, Goosey.
Squeeze my hand, okay?

This will tell us why
you're sick, so that
we can make you all better.

Where would she pick up
a fungus?

Anywhere moist. Around a pool,
locker room, public shower...

She doesn't have any gym
or swim classes.

She doesn't even like to play
with kids outside.

You haven't taken any trips?
Gone anywhere new?

lt's been hard to get away
since their mom...

Our mom is dead.

l'm sorry.
Last year. Brain cancer.

You're gonna stick that thing
in her arm?

Cool!

The cool part is
your sister
won't feel a thing.

Nice necklace.

Thanks.
You like video games?

Love them.

That should do it. You okay?

l want my bunny.

Are you being silly?

l didn't know
which one to take.

What do you mean?

What's happening?

So. What does
the double vision tell us?

Slit lamp revealed
the eye's anterior chamber
is swollen.

Uveitis. Means it's not
a post-op effect
and it's not neurological.

lt's not fungal, either.
Lymph node biopsy was clean.

So, we're back to square one.

One and a half.
We've eliminated
two more conditions.

Yes. Two plus two
doesn't equal 1 2 or 16,
either.

Vision issues plus
screwy heart equals
some type of autoimmune.

Lupus and Kawasaki's
are the most common
in a six-year-old.

Yeah, tough to find
a six-year-old who doesn't
have Lupus or Kawasaki's...

Did you look at her knees?

Those knobby things
in the middle of her legs.
Any scars or scabs?

What does that
have to do with...

Well, most six-year-olds
hurt themselves a lot.

Crash their bikes,
climb trees, bungee jump...

Dad says she doesn't like
to run around outside.

'Cause running around
outside hurts.

She didn't mention anything...

Most six-year-olds are
not familiar with the phrase,
''My joints feel inflamed.''

So, two plus two equals...

Juvenile rheumatoid arthritis.

We're checking her ANA
to confirm and giving her
steroids to fix her vision.

Some idiot gave me two tickets
for a play tonight.

Saved his life.
Apparently worth $186.

Sorry, had to take a leak.

Oh, l didn't know
you were seeing a patient.

lt's an exam room.
What did you think
l was doing?

What you usually do.
Hiding from Cuddy.

Well, it'd be stupid
to do it in here.
There's a patient in here.

You been drinking more?

No, l haven't.

Guy's peeing all the time.
Play. lnterested?

Sure. You want me
to pick you up?

Well, l'm not going.
You said two tickets.

You thought this was a date?

Any other symptoms?

My stomach hurts.

l have back pain
and muscle aches,

l feel dizzy and l have
trouble concentrating
sometimes in class.

l really should...

You want the tickets or not?

Why don't you
want to go with me?
lt's a play.

Dudes only go to plays
if they're dragged by women
they're hoping to see naked.

So, why are you
giving them to me?

Maybe there's someone
you wanna see naked.

(EXHALES)

All right.

(DOOR CLOSES)

Any fever?
No.

Anything in your pee
other than pee?

No.

l'm going to need
a urine sample.

No!

Yeah, that last one
wasn't a question.

You might have diabetes...
l can't pee in public.

We have bathrooms.

l can't pee
in public bathrooms.

Where can you pee?

l only live
a few miles from here.

l thought arthritis
was for old people.

JRA is an autoimmune disease.

Her body's attacking itself,

causing inflammation
in the joints,
her eyes, and her heart.

ls it treatable?

lt can be crippling,
but it can also go into
complete remission.

Well, the good thing is
we caught it early.

Gives her the best chance
to have a positive outcome.

Dad.

Don't get up, Goosey.

Your stitches.

(MUMBLlNG)

(GASPlNG)

She's having a stroke.

The stroke was caused
by a clot in her
middle cerebral artery.

Started her on tPA.

Should dissolve the clot
and hopefully
prevent brain damage,

but we won't know
for sure until she regains
consciousness.

Or she has another stroke.

Arthritis, heart disease.
Why can't this kid
act her age?

JRA doesn't affect the blood.
That means the clot's
a symptom of something else.

lt's a symptom of
polycythemia.

She's fully hydrated
and her blood's still
thicker than pancake batter.

Well, thick blood
explains the stroke.

lt could also have caused
an autoimmune response,

which would explain
the JRA kicking into gear.

But what explains
the thick blood?

Lack of oxygen forces the body
to overproduce red cells.

What explains
the lack of oxygen?

Carbon monoxide fumes,
cigarette smoke.

l doubt our patient's
a smoker.

Dad could be.
He's not.

He says he's not.
Hey!

Don't make me turn the hose
on you two.

Chase is right.

You two go check the house,
see if Dad's a closet
Marlboro Man.

You're intentionally
punishing us.

By making you do your job?
Does seem kind of cruel,
doesn't it?

Take along a carbon monoxide
detector to check for leaks,

and, you, start her
on hydroxyurea to control her
red blood cell production.

Dig out a Merck Manual,
Medieval edition.

Tell you how to drain
a pint or two
so she doesn't clot again.

Dr. Cameron!

l got you flowers
for helping my sister.

That's so sweet.

Does your dad know
you're down here?

Yes.

''Congratulations
on your bundle of joy.''

Something you forgot
to tell me?

You should take these back
to where you found them.

Okay.
Excuse me?

Can you make sure
these flowers

and this kid both get back
to where they belong?

Sure.

Thanks.
Let's go. Come on.

Wait.

DERAN: So, you're just
draining blood from her?

You're not testing it?
You're not fixing it?

Your daughter's
vascular system is
engorged with blood.

Draining some reduces
the chances of another stroke.

We're also starting her
on a drug that suppresses
the production of red cells

so we don't have to
keep doing this.

Good chance
she'll make a full recovery.

She hasn't spoken yet.

Give her time.

This your boy?

Where have you been?
Exploring. See ya.

Thank you.

You know you can't just
run off without telling me.

Okay. Can l have $2?

(SlGHS)

Oven's a long shot.

They'd smell the gas
long before anyone got sick.

Yeah, right. House loves it
when we skip something

'cause it's a long shot.

Why did you take the flower?

Why did you kiss him?
He did something sweet.

He stole flowers.

He's eight.

You're trying to
make me jealous.

Yeah, l want you to
profess your love for me.
Oh, wait.

You already did that
and it caused me
to end our relationship.

You're enabling a thief
and a delinquent!

Letters from school.
Fights, detentions,
a parent conference...

Oh, l know, l know.
Bad boys, hard to resist.

lt's a crush. lt's harmless.

lt's never harmless.
So l'm learning.

(GROANS)

So, this is us now?
We snipe at each other?

l'm not sniping,
l'm looking for a vent.

Her room's directly above
the garage. There's all sorts
of CO sources down there.

l found a vent.

l think there's
something in it.

(SlGHS)

This isn't right.

You dumped me.
You don't get to be mad.

We had a really good thing.

You broke the rules.
l'm angry.

l'll get over it.

(CHASE GRUNTS)

She's being abused.

A bloody t-shirt doesn't
equal abuse.
Kids get hurt all the time.

That amount of blood?

Oh, crap.

You two are agreeing again.

Her father's overwhelmed.
Hectic job,

his wife passed away
last year, he could easily
be taking it out on the kids.

Or she had a nosebleed
and grabbed a t-shirt.

She's so ashamed of
a nosebleed

she has to hide the evidence
in a vent under her bed?

She's socially isolated,
the brother's always in
trouble, it's classic signs.

But no physical signs.

No marks on her body,
no bruises at all.

What if it's sexual?

We should call
Social Services.

Well, this sucks.

Either it's abuse,
or it's not abuse,

which means either
it's a symptom or it's
completely irrelevant.

Either way,
we got to waste half a day
figuring out which.

Full physical exam.

Look for bruises we may have
missed, check her mouth
and do a vaginal exam.

We can't do a vaginal exam
on a six-year-old without
the dad's consent.

And if he's abusing her,
he'll never say yes.

''Never'' is just ''reven''
spelled backwards.

Have you been abusing
your daughter?

What? Why would you...

We found this
hidden in a vent
under her bed.

l don't know
anything about this.
Maybe she had a bloody nose?

We need to examine her
for abuse.

You can't really think l...
Maybe you,
maybe the school bully

maybe the creepy neighbor.

l'm guessing you're not
paying as much attention
as you should be.

Do you even know
where your son is right now?

Yeah, he was here just...
Here a minute ago.

She isn't being abused.

Unfortunately, that answer
doesn't help me.

lf you have abused her,

you're obviously
gonna lie about it.
l'm not lying!

We need to do a vaginal exam.
No.

She may be dying,

she still can't talk
and you're gonna waste
your time with this?

Either you consent and
we waste a few hours doing
the exam, or you refuse

and l call Social Services
and they waste three days
doing an investigation

which ends with them
doing the exam anyway.

CAMERON:
Okay. l'm gonna look inside
your mouth. Open wide.

l need to look at your chest
and your back next, okay?

l know you can't talk,
so stop me if you get scared.

Before you came here,
did anyone hurt you?
Make you bleed?

l need to look
in your vagina now.
Do you understand?

l'm a doctor, so it's okay.
All right?

Bend your knees,
keep your ankles together

and just let your knees fall
to the side, okay?

Oh, my God.

She has cuts
all over her genital area,
like slices.

Some are almost healed,
but some are new.

She could be doing it
to herself.

She's a little young
to be cutting.

She's a little young
for a stroke.

Depression accounts for
the cuts, molestation accounts
for the depression.

But do the cuts
account for all that blood?
They weren't deep enough.

So she's getting cut,
but that's not
the source of the blood?

The other obvious source
is forcible penetration.

The obvious source
of the blood, not the cuts.

There was no tearing,
there's no evidence at all.

So we have no explanation
for the cuts or the blood.

Where is he?

What if our original
assumption was wrong?

Meaning what?

We found a t-shirt
covered with blood hidden
in a heating vent.

How do we know it's even hers?

Her dad identified it.

Not the shirt, the blood.

Are those
the urine test results?

Yes.
And...

l'm going to ask you
for some blood.
Why?

To see if your answer will be,
''l can't bleed in public.''

This wasn't your urine,
was it?

Why would l give you
someone else's urine?

The usual reason is
because you're on steroids.

l'm not an athlete.

Second favorite reason is
because you're on drugs.

l'm not.
l am.

Third favorite reason is
you have insurance but your
friend Eggs Benedict doesn't.

So, Eggs describes a list of
symptoms and you repeat them
to a doctor,

which is particularly stupid
because this is a free clinic.

Need you, now.

My work here is done.

Am l okay?

ls it diabetes?

No, you're pregnant.

Six-year-old abuse victim
and you haven't called
Social Services?

She might've been abused?
That's horrifying.

Why are you wearing
extra concealer
under your eyes?

The law's clear.
You suspect abuse,
you call the authorities.

You don't proceed as usual
while the possible abuser
sits by her bedside.

Dad consented to the exam
which means it's not the dad.

How late were you
out last night?

lt's always the dad
and l don't have a curfew.

Panty hamster
get a spin on its wheel?

l went to a play.

House, you are going back
to your office.
You are picking up your phone,

calling Social Services
and you are reporting
suspected abuse.

Do you understand?

What play?

(PEOPLE CHATTERlNG)

You're trying to have sex
with Cuddy.

Fries?
You took her to a play.

You only take women
to plays because...

No, you only take women
to plays for that reason.
That's your theory.

Okay. Then why did you
take her to a play?
She's a friend.

A friend with a squish mitten.

lt is possible to have
a friend of the opposite sex
without...

Blasphemer!

She's not a friend
of the opposite sex,
she's a different species.

She's an administrator.

She's going to eat your head
after she's done.

Yes, l slept with her.

Seriously?
No.

Yes, you did.

Yes, l did.

Seriously?
No.

You've got a problem, House.

We just tested the blood
on Lucy's t-shirt,

it's full of
endometrial cells.

So it's not her blood.

We tested that, too. lt is.

Your six-year-old patient?

lt's menstrual blood.

She's started puberty.

How can someone start puberty
before they even start
the first grade?

She was in diapers
two years ago.

For some reason her body
has too much sex hormone.

lt caused her
reproductive system
to get confused,

start operating prematurely.

We need to find out
the source of the hormones
and cut it off.

She's so young.

l haven't even

talked to her about sex.

l doubt she even knows
what a period is.

Girls talk to their moms
about that.

You're gonna be okay, Goosey.

l love you.

l

want

juice.

(GASPS)

She got her period
and didn't know what it was.

She was scared and confused.

A friend told her
to put a t-shirt
in her underwear.

When she started
growing pubic hair,

she snuck Daddy's razor
and tried to shave it off.

Apparently forgot to sneak
the shaving cream.

Tumor's most likely.

A pituitary adenoma
would send her
hormone level sky-high.

ln Puerto Rico, in the '70s,
there was an epidemic
of kids growing breasts

because of estrogen
in the poultry.

lf it was in the food,
it would be an epidemic.
We've got one kid.

She's six, she's tiny,
she lives on chicken fingers
and milk.

Dad doesn't look like
the type to read labels,

he's probably buying stuff
packed full of hormones.

Excellent argument.
lt's a tumor.

There's all sorts of
environmental sources.
Pesticides, soy products.

Some shampoos
are basically a placenta
in a bottle.

lf the tumor's not
in her brain, it's in her
reproductive tract.

Get an MRl.

Can l at least...
Waste your time?

Wouldn't recognize you
if you didn't.

Frontal cortex is clean,
moving caudally.

For the record,
Cameron's the one
who broke it off.

Not interested.

No masses in the hypothalamus.

l wanted more.

She didn't share my feelings.

l feel like
l'm in a similar position.

Pituitary's clean.

You're an idiot.

Either she's lying
or she's actually
emotionally detached.

Which one sounds more
like Cameron to you?

Neither.

You have to choose one.

FOREMAN: There's a bright spot
on her left ovary.

Looks like a solid tumor.

They printed my letter.

(EXHALES)

You were right.

Of course l was.
What are we talking about?

They printed my letter.
Great.

Cuddy.

You want to see her naked?
No, no, no.

She wants to see me naked.

She sent me flowers.

Just thanking you
for the play.

See, some people feel
an emotion called gratitude.

There's a card.
l suspected.

lt explains how you knew
who they were from.

''Let's do it again.
Soon. XX, Lisa.''

Xs are the kisses, right?

No, l think they're the hugs.

l think Os are the kisses.

No, no. The Xs are
definitely the kisses.

''Soon'' is its own sentence.

l gotta go!

l'll miss you.
You were a good friend.

They printed my letter.

How was the play,
Mrs. Lincoln?

What's up with Wilson?

He's just a little freaked.

Why?

l sent him flowers.

Jasper, you're not
supposed to be up here.

ls that other doctor
your boyfriend?

No.

Your dad's probably looking
for you. He's got enough to
worry about right now.

Do you like him?

He's a friend.

Do you like him, like him?

We should get you
back to your dad.

Let me put this down
and l'll take you there.

l could be your boyfriend.

l think that wouldn't be fair
to the girls your own age.

He seems like a tool.

He's not. And that's rude.

l'm taking you back
to your father.

(GASPS)

The mass is small.
About a centimeter across.

Firing the biopsy needle.

(MACHlNE BEEPlNG)

You nick an artery?

No.

She's in V tach. No pulse.

Charging 50.
Clear.

Clear.

Clear.

Arrhythmia must have been
a reaction to the hydroxyurea.

We have to stop
the drug therapy.

Her bone marrow will
just go back to
overproducing blood cells,

she'll keep having strokes
and we'll have to keep
bleeding her.

Forever.

We resect the tumor,
hormone levels go back to
normal, her symptoms go away.

Great plan, except for
the fact that her tumor's
not a tumor.

lt's a benign cyst.

lf it's not a tumor,
that just leaves
an environmental source.

l'm feeling
another late night.

l'm gonna leave you two alone.

You're kidding me, right?
What?

The answer's right there.
lt's just a question of
finding it.

You don't need me for that.

(COlN RATTLlNG)

Don't get the mochaccino

they screwed up
and put hot chocolate
in the dispenser.

Thank you.

You were right.
The eight-year-old kid
grabbed my ass.

l shouldn't have
encouraged him.

Well, l was a boy once.
l know how they think.

You were a pervert at eight?

Maybe eleven.

l didn't realize
you were gonna get hurt.

l'm sorry l misled you.

You didn't.

You have feelings for me.

You come back to me
again and again.

For sex.
lt's a simple physical...
Come on.

You have feelings
for puppies and patients
that you barely know.

But when it comes to a guy
that you've worked with
for three years,

had sex with,
spent the night with...

You telling me
you feel nothing?

Absolutely nothing?

Get away from her!
Don't touch her! l'll kill you
if you touch her!

Jasper!
CHASE: Get him off!

He's biting me. Get him off!

(CHASE GROANlNG)

(GROANS)

What is he gonna do?

He stopped and Iooked at him
from the top rope!

But now he's scaIing...
No way!

(PHONE RlNGlNG)

(CHATTERING ON TV)

Somebody better be dying.

Lucy's big brother's got
a crush on me, so he bit
the crap out of Chase.

HOUSE.: And I care because...

Just thought you might
want to know when
one of your employees

gets attacked by a sociopath.

Bees or monkeys, yes.

Sociopaths, no.

He doesn't have sense enough
to know he was pinned.

He's not a man,
he is a monster!

No way!

We've got to take
another Iook at this...

That might be what he needed.
UnabIe to somehow
kick out of a...

(PHONE RlNGlNG)

CAMERON.: HeIIo?
He's not a sociopath.

How do you know?

He's acting IogicaIIy.

He's got a crush on you.
He's being aggressive
about it.

Not just regular aggressive,

he's out-of-his-mind
-on-hormones aggressive.

You think he's...

Better figure out what's
killing the girl, because her
brother's got it, too.

CHASE: Jasper's got
a hundred times
more testosterone

than a healthy eight-year-old.

But we scanned his brain
and reproductive tract,

no hormone secreting tumors.

l'm not surprised.
What's more likely?

Brother and sister get
the same type of tumor
at exactly the same time,

or they both play
in the same toxic sandbox?

Yes, you would think that
if for some reason
you were completely unaware

of the fact we spent
the entire night testing
everything from that home.

lt was all negative.

You went home?

Good for you. Delegate.

We're not his subordinates.

Making it all the more
impressive.

What if it's genetic?

Well, anyone else think it's
more than a coincidence

these kids have symptoms
that could be caused by
a brain tumor

which is exactly
what killed their mom?

CHASE: You just said
there were no tumors.

We scanned both their brains.

They looked clean.

So did their mom's,
until it didn't.

lt can't be genetic.
Mom had none
of the same symptoms.

Yes, she did, if the symptoms
were pubic hair
and menstruation.

That's ridiculous.
lf menstruation is
a symptom of brain cancer

then l should be
on chemo right now.

That's ridiculous. You're way
too skinny to be menstruating.

What if the mom
had other problems?

Symptoms her doctors ignored
on account of the fact
she was already dying?

Pull all her medical records.

Find any similarities
to our patients.

And punch the little brat
on the nose so he doesn't
have a stroke like his sister.

l'm not sick.

Just trying to
keep you that way.

l want Dr. Cameron to do mine.

Trust me, you don't want her
cutting you right now.

So Jasper's
behavioral issues...

They could be a function
of the increased testosterone.

Hopefully, he'll be a delight
as soon as we figure this out.

My tummy hurts.

LUCY: lt hurts!
No, it doesn't.

Don't be such a baby.

My tummy hurts!

Where in your tummy?
lt hurts!

lt hurts!

(SCREAMlNG)

Stomach pain is from
a cyst in her pancreas.

l found two more in her
kidneys and one in her lung.

They weren't there
48 hours ago.

Hormones are making
her body go haywire.

She gets one in her brain
or heart, she's dead.

No pressure, though.

Her mom was perfectly healthy
until she got cancer.

She had none of the symptoms
the kids have.

lt's not genetic,
it's not environmental.

lt's gotta be
a pituitary adenoma.

Yes! That would make
complete sense
if they had one.

Just because we haven't found
anything on the scan
doesn't mean it's not there.

We should remove
her pituitary gland.

Two siblings, same condition.

lt's gotta be genetic
or environmental.

We add in the same time
and we're back to
just environmental.

Yes, and that would make
complete sense if there was
anything in her environment.

Just because we haven't
found anything yet...

She's been out of her
environment for four days
and she's still getting worse.

l'm getting
the father's consent.

No!

We have no evidence.

This is your process, House.

You asked us
what two plus two is.

We've eliminated every number
except for four.

She needs brain surgery.

The ovaries produce
sex hormones

in response to a signal
from the pituitary gland.

Since we know
the ovaries are fine,
the most likely cause...

''Most likely'' means she
wants to root around inside
your little girl's brain

without any guarantee
that it'll work.

That's why she's holding off
on doing your son.

Dr. House knows that
unfortunately we've ruled out
every other option.

We need to resect
Lucy's pituitary before...

Who else visits these kids?

They don't have
any family in town.

You got a girlfriend?

No one visits.
School?

They don't go
to the same school.
House, l've covered...

Nanny?
They don't have one.

They go to after-school
daycare but none
of the other kids are sick.

Yet.

lt took your son twice as long
to develop symptoms
as your daughter.

Maybe the other kids
are just slow.

We wait
and your daughter may die.

She does this,
your daughter will need

hormone replacement therapy
for the rest of her life.

The treatments are extremely
effective. She should lead
a relatively normal life.

And isn't that
every parent's dream?

To have a kid grow up to be
relatively normal?

My husband died of
thyroid cancer that
metastasized to his brain.

l've been there.

l know how terrifying
this can be.

And l am telling you
this is your best chance
to save your daughter's life.

You did not just play
the dead husband card.

My wife died.

Because she signed
a consent form that
l didn't want her to sign.

Died.

Thank you.

How did you know?

Know what?

That the other kids
weren't sick?

You've been here
for four days.

l just...

l would have heard.

Right.

Do you have hair
on your special place?

Miss Janie!

Can l help you?

l'm a doctor.

Two of your kids are sick
and l need to know why.

You think they got sick here?

l think
you're dating their dad.

He told you?

No.

And l don't really care
why he didn't.

l just need to know
how often you go to their
house and what you bring.

l don't.
Shampoos, fancy soaps...

Kids get in your bag.
l've never been
to their house.

They just lost their mom
and we thought
it was too soon.

Why are you staring at me?

Lip wax?

l just had it done over lunch.

Mani-pedi?
No.

Just the wax.

Women get a wax
as a part of a whole
self-indulgent beauty ritual.

Pedicures, steam,
cucumber masks.

No one runs out at lunch
just to get a lip wax,

unless you woke up looking
like Yosemite Sam.

You're an ass.

Cameron.
lt's always the dad.

Excess facial hair in women.
lt's a clear sign of
hormonal imbalance.

Exactly what
the little kiddies have.

ls there something wrong
at the daycare center?

There's something wrong
in your pants.

(EXCLAlMS)

She's a lot younger
than l am. l

use a

male enhancement cream
to keep up with her.

What does this
have to do with...

Never occurred to you
to get a prescription

instead of some penis-pumper
loaded with testosterone?

l keep it at the gym.

l apply it daily in the shower
just like it says
on the bottle.

lt's never been in my home,
it's obviously never been
near the kids.

But you have.

We've been through that,
l'm not a pervert
or a pedophile!

Thirty percent of our waste
is excreted through our skin.

That sounds high.

lt's why you stink
after eating garlic.

Jack waters his beanstalk
every day for a week

he's oozing bean curd
out of his pores for a month.

Every time you gave the little
tykes a hug you gave them
a dose of testosterone.

Small for you, but more than
their little bodies
can handle.

So...

l did this to them?

Just holding their hands?

Uh-huh.

lf l stop using it?

You'll be floppy,
they'll be fine.

Give it back!

He'll still be eight.

(SlGHS)

(GROANS)

You okay?

Yeah, l think so.

Talk to Cuddy?
No, not yet.

l don't know what to say.

Just be straight with her.

l'm not sure what that is.

l can't stop
thinking about her.

ln what way?

Maybe she's right. Maybe...

Maybe this is worth exploring.

Are you sure that she feels...

She sent me flowers.

How do l do this?

What do l say?

Cameron would tell you
to say how you feel.

Me? l'd get her drunk.

l'm not gonna say anything.

l'm just gonna
walk into her office
and l'm gonna kiss her.

That's a bold move.

Cuddy likes bold.

Yeah, you're right,
if you spoke, you'd just
say something stupid.

Yeah, l mean l'll either
get a girlfriend or get fired.

Okay.

Yeah. Okay.

Okay.

(DOOR CLOSES)

You! You! You!

You were gonna let me do that?

You made
a compelling argument.

You sent those flowers to me!

Yes! Because you
took her to a play.

And because, actually,
you do wanna march
down there and kiss her.

No! l don't.

Yes, you do.

(SlGHS)

You're right.

Seriously?

No.

You're a jerk.

Night, Wilson.
Night, House.

They're beautiful.

l thought about what you said.

And

l really don't want
a relationship with you.

l know.

l also know you like flowers.

l don't get the whole
May-December thing.

Give him a break.
May-October at worst.

Well, why can't it be
October-October?

May is when
things start to get hot.

lf that guy wasn't trying
so hard to keep up
with a woman half his age,

he wouldn't have
almost killed both his kids.

Guy gets a little
something-something,

couple of kids have to
die... Circle of life.

So many people,

so much energy and drama

just trying to find someone
who's almost never
the right person anyway.

lt just shouldn't be so hard.

l got tickets to a play.