House (2004–2012): Season 3, Episode 18 - Airborne - full transcript

Fran? I'm Robin.

Please come in.

Cute home.
Two bedroom, one bath?

Yeah.

A guy I know collects those.
Says they're worth
a fortune on the internet.

Yeah.

You've never used
our agency before, have you?

Is it that obvious?

As you can see,
we offer a full range
of services.

"Round the World"?
Our deluxe package.

Offers all the services
of A, B, and C.



How much?
$1,000.

And satisfaction
is guaranteed. Twice.

I'll get the money.
I'll get ready.

Harrington?

Harrington, what are you
doing up there?

All right, now don't
take this personally
but you're gonna have to go...

Fran.

Is this okay?

Fran.

Fran, you all right?

Oh, God.

Fran?

Yeah, I need an ambulance
at 500 North Sycamore.

I don't know,
my friend collapsed.



And what were you doing
when you fainted?

We were just...
Looking for her cat.

And have you
banged your head recently?

No.

Is this a motion sickness
patch?

I must have
forgotten to take it off.
I just got back from a trip.

Scopolamine can cause
dizziness and blurred vision.

You probably hit your head
when you fell,
and that caused the blackout.

I thought those patches were
supposed to prevent you
from getting sick.

Every drug has a side effect.

But it might be a good idea
to keep your eye on her

for the next few hours
to make sure she's okay.

Actually...

She has to get back to work.

Is it important?

We just don't like people
to be alone
after they leave here.

I'm fine. Really.

I'm...
Fran?

Fran?

I got a seizure. Code cart.

What's wrong with her?

I have no idea.

Where's House?

I want my blankie!
I want my blankie!
I want my blankie!

Antique vintner's cane.
Cost me $900.

It had a corkscrew in it.

That would explain
the vintner's reference.

It could be used as a weapon
against the pilot.

Only if he's stuck
in a bottle of zinfandel.

You'll get it back
when we land.

I want my blankie!
I want my blankie!

Give her 20 milligrams
of antihistamine.
Could save her life.

'Cause if she doesn't shut up
I'll kill her.

Delivering goodwill
to yet another continent.

You only forced me to
deliver a speech,
not goodwill.

You gave
a three-minute speech.

You know how much
WHO accreditation
means to the hospital?

Well, it may have been short,
but it had girth.

And the room service thing
was just spiteful.

I was hungry.
$300 for a bottle of wine.

I was thirsty.

$1 20 on video services.

I was Ionely.

That's 500 in expenses
I can't justify.

Don't worry.
I'll take care of it.

Right.

Here you are, sir.
You're welcome.

Welcome aboard, Mr. House.

You're right here in 2-A.

Ms. Cuddy you're
in the next cabin
and to the left, 9-C.

No, I booked two
first-class tickets.

This must be a mistake.
No mistake.

I just arranged for
a $500 fare reduction.

Expense problem solved.

Where did you travel?
Duluth.

To visit my sister.
Really?

Is this her artwork?

"Fire butt"?

I was a little drunk.

Where were you a little drunk?

I turned 58 last March.

Same age my mother was
when she died.

Next week I packed a bag,
I went to JFK,

looked at the big board,
took the first plane
that went to a warm place.

Caracas.
Oh, my God.

Did you drink the water?
Eat salads?

Any raw foods.
Yup.

And?

I also did mescal shooters
and snorted cocaine from
a homosexual man's stomach.

Did you have sex?
No.

Not with him.
I had sex with El Gordo.

He was a large man.

Oh, my God.

I never do things like that.

I should have gone
to visit my sister.
It was stupid.

That's why I'm sick, isn't it?

It's possible.

Here you are.
Rib eye, medium rare.

Thank you.

Some more Pinot Grigio?

No. I think I will
switch to the Syrah.

Sir, are you all right?

He's drunk.

See?

Does anyone speak Korean?

Is anyone a doctor?

Yes.

I'll go get her.

What do you want?

Do you really think
I was gonna leave you stuck
back here for 18 hours?

Go on, enjoy.

With the Vicodin and the wine
I could sleep anywhere.

Thank you.

We should put her back
on the scopolamine patch.

She can't wear
motion sickness patches
for the rest of her life.

No, but if it does relive
her symptoms
it'll narrow down our search.

Anything else
you two guys wanna agree on?

You have a problem
with us agreeing?

No, I have a problem
with the other thing
you're doing,

which makes me question
your motive for agreeing.

I'll put her
back on the patch.
What else?

It's gotta be something
neurological.

We should do a CT,
look for a brain tumor.

Could also be an allergy
or something environmental.

We should check her home.

Bit more likely she got
sick in Caracas
than in New Jersey.

Right, I forgot.
There are no toxins in the US.

I think I'm starting to
feel sorry for House.

Get a tox screen, chem-20,
STD panel, blood cultures.

Then you run a CT
and you check her house.

Please.

Not funny.

Wasn't supposed
to be funny ha-ha.

Fever, headache,
severe abdominal pain,

and a rash
all over his lower back.

It's serious.
Maybe contagious.

We just attended a symposium
on pandemics

and you run right into one
on the flight home.

Talk about a small world.

If it's meningococcus,

half the passengers on this
plane could get infected and
die before we reach New York.

Is someone sick?
No.

Someone has a hangover.

He had a snootload
of Bloody Marys before dinner.

Watch the movie.

That booze did not
give him the rash.
It is textbook meningococcus.

It's also textbook
allergic reaction to pollen,

peanuts, and the semen-stained
polyester blanket
he's lying on.

Mr. Peng's throwing up again.

We have to turn around.

What? Why do we have to...

We don't. You misunderstood.

Dr. Cuddy just meant
that he might
feel less nauseous

if he was facing
in a different direction.

She didn't mean to panic
a planeload of people.

We're about to head
over the North Pole.

We don't turn back now,
the next ER's 15 hours away.

He'll be fine.
I'm a doctor, too.

You haven't examined him.

Korean male, mid 30s,
5'9", 160, bald,

scar on the right side
of his jaw, medic alert
bracelet on his left wrist

indicating that
he's allergic to,
at least, penicillin.

Without any way to do an LP
or rule out meningococcus,

our only choice
is to assume the worst.

Good point.

On the other hand, I am
a board-certified specialist
in infectious disease.

She assigns parking spaces.

Please let me know
if he gets any worse.

Think we should feed the cat?

Bowl's full.

If he wants it, he can get it.
Cadmium yellow?

Heavy metal poisoning
would explain the
ataxia and the seizures.

Not unless
she was painting
with her tongue.

Was Foreman right?

Did you agree with me
because of our relationship?

"Relationship"?
You know what I mean.

You mean because of
our lack of a relationship.

I mean, because
we're having sex.

Yes. Foreman's right.

I thought you were
completely wrong
about the medicine,

but agreed with you anyway

because I figured then
you'd do me
in some old lady's home.

Then well played.

Come on, we're supposed to be
looking for toxins.

We agreed
it was a brain tumor. What?

He's watching.

Haven't you had
anybody watch before?

Is that guy really sick?
No.

He's all better.
I don't believe you.

Look that way.
Why?

Because you're gonna throw up
and I don't want it on me.

I'll get some towels.

Give her a banana.
Monkey see, monkey barf.
You smell vomit...

Okay. Wasn't expecting that.

I need help.

Who doesn't?

I need someone to talk to.

Can you say, "Crikey, mate"?

Crikey, mate.
Perfect.

Now no matter what I say,
you agree with me, okay?

Okay.
Nicely done.

And you disagree
with everything I say.

Sorry. Not understanding.

That's close enough.

And you get morally outraged
at everything I say.

That's a permanent marker,
you know.

Wow.

You guys are good.

We are looking for
the simplest way
to explain these symptoms.

Organophosphate poisoning.
Some international flights
spray pesticides.

Could be.

Sorry, English not so nice.

Is this a joke?

Just passed the halfway mark.

Can't turn around. Nice call.

No worries.

We think it's
pesticide poisoning.

We don't spray these flights.

Dramamine overdose.

Wouldn't
explain the fever.

Jet lag.
Wouldn't explain
the abdominal pain.

Deep vein thrombosis.
Wouldn't explain the nausea.

Food poisoning.
What was on the menu?

Steak and sea bass
in First Class. Fettuccine
and seafood kebabs in Economy.

Since when does food poisoning
cause a rash?

Sea bass, seafood kebabs?
He had the sea bass.

Please tell me
she had the kebabs.

I think so.

Ciguatera poisoning.

It's an instant-onset toxin.

Symptoms include...
E. All of the above.

It's only found in
certain kinds of tropical
game fish such as...

Sea bass?

Make sure you get
a resume from him.

Hello?
Excuse me.

Ladies and gentlemen,
I have a brief announcement
concerning your meals.

If you ate the sea bass
or the seafood kebabs,

you have ingested
a dangerous toxin.

However, if you proceed
to the restrooms
both on your left and right

at the rear of the plane
and vomit as soon as possible,

the toxic effect
should be minimal.
What?

Thank you, and have
a pleasant flight.

Meningococcus makes
just as much sense.

I know.

What did you find?

Nothing in her house.
Big waste of time.

Medically.

CT was a complete waste.

She was negative for tumors,
her blood was negative
for drugs,

heavy metals,
tropical diseases,
food poisoning, and STDs.

Also no sign of
lead poisoning or sepsis.

Apparently Venezuelan
tattoo parlors
have standards after all.

Good to know.

We sure she's even sick?

Two more seizures
in the last two hours.

Which is slower than she was
having them before
you put the patch back on.

I'm an idiot. She's exposed
herself to so much crap
I just assumed it was a zebra.

It's breast cancer.

Since when is breast cancer
treatable by
motion sickness meds?

It's not. But the inflammation
caused by the paraneoplastic
syndrome

caused by the cancer
can be reduced
by anticholinergics.

Hey, here you go.

Is he gonna die?

We're doing all we can.
We don't know what's
wrong with him yet.

Am I gonna die?

No.

Here, chew on these.

Good news is all the pilots
are red meat men.

Although I was kind of
looking forward to
landing this puppy myself.

Peng's getting worse.

That makes sense.

First Class ate before Coach.

He digested more of his food
before he threw up.

Or you're wrong and we're
gonna start seeing
neurological symptoms soon.

Seizures, paralysis, ataxia.

We're not gonna see ataxia.

You're so sure you're right.
No.

It's just hard to show
clumsiness when you're lying
moaning in a fetal position.

Hey, stand up.

Does nobody
speak Korean on this flight?

I assumed you did.

I know how to ask him
if his sister's over 18,

I just don't think
that's gonna help.

Hey, stand up. Stand up.

Don't play the cripple card
with me.

Oh, hi. I'm leaving.

Work.

Okay.

Important client.
Sure.

Listen.

Are you close?

Why?

She needs a mammogram.

Oh, God.

I know I'm throwing
a lot at you. She just
has no family in town.

And I really think
she could use a friend
right now.

Okay. Put your hand here.

You don't have to stay.

No, it's no problem.

But why?

You don't even know me.

You gotta be scared.

I almost hope
it's breast cancer.
No.

Then it wouldn't be my fault.

Whatever it is,
it's not your fault.

That's not true.
You can control things.

Not everything.

But you don't have to
take stupid risks.
I was being an idiot.

You were having fun.

You have regrets?

Yeah.

Robin?

Hold still.

Good.

Okay, we're gonna get
just one more.
I'm sorry, I know it hurts.

It's not that.

It's my eye. My right eye.

I can't see.

It's definitely ataxia.
And it's definitely a rash.

You gonna look at it for five
more minutes before concluding
it's also definitely a leg?

Thin leg.

It's been in a cast.
So?

So it could be
radiation poisoning.

From a broken leg?

From the x-rays
they took of it.

He could break
every bone in his body

and still not have
enough x-rays to cause
radiation sickness.

Unless those x-rays
were performed in Wankoff,
North Korea,

by a third-grade dropout
with a 50-year-old imager.

Which accounts
for the absence of fur.

Radiation poisoning accounts
for all his symptoms.

I have hair.
I haven't had an x-ray since
I got my teeth whitened.

You're pregnant.

I'm what?

Explains the nausea,
abdominal pains, fever,

and why you're stuffing
your 36Cs into a 34B bra.

And her rash?

PUPPPs. Common pregnancy rash.

I can't be pregnant.

You a virgin?

No, but...

You're pregnant. Mazel tov.

Let's get him into the chair.

Two different diagnoses.

I thought you didn't
believe in coincidences.

I believe in statistics.

Two hundred passengers
on the plane,
10 should be gay,

two should be with child,
and one should be
incredibly annoying

with an extra ass chromosome.
House.

Get him some iodized salt
to protect his thyroid.
I'm going back...

House.

You're wrong.

I said we should have
turned back. You should
have listened to me.

Now we're eight miles
over the Arctic...

I'm trying to listen
to you now, so shut up.

Heart's fine.

Breasts are firm.

Is it contagious?

A lot of the passengers
are scared.

Tell them there's
nothing to worry about.

Is there something
to worry about?
Yeah.

Tell them there's
nothing to worry about.
And get me a flashlight.

Cover your left eye with this.

Photophobia.

Symptom of meningitis.
We need antibiotics.

I'll call down
to the pharmacy.

You're creeping me out.

Then get me a lab.

Pseudomonas smell yeasty,
staph smells musty,

and some liver disease
smell of ammonia.

House. I'm not in heat.

Citrus-y on the nose
with a blush of
toasted coconut.

I need to get a better look
at your rash.

Use your imagination.

Fine, should I go with
Lifeguard Cuddy
or Mother Superior Cuddy?

Three more passengers
are sick.

If we don't get drugs,
we're gonna have
a lot of dead passengers.

Blindness in her right eye
indicates it's not
breast cancer.

It's likely neurological.

I just met her today.

You should go.

She needs someone here.

That's not your job.

Please let me know
that she's okay.

It's just sex.

There's no such thing.

Other eye.

Are you saying women
can't separate the physical
from the emotional?

No one does it well,
women do it worse.

You just want us to stop
because you think
it's affecting...

Me. Yeah.

Polyspikes are over 01 and 02.

That's her left eye.

Burst suppression
on every lead.

Fran?

She's comatose.

Nothing. Nothing.

Nothing.

Come on, nobody has no meds!

Excuse me.
Open your mouth.

Where's the acyclovir?

I'm not on any meds.

Well, you better get some.
You've got herpes.

What do you know?
He's got some.
This must be your lucky day.

This is for real.
People are sick.

Some of us will be
deplaning in body bags
unless you cough up.

Here. Over here.
Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

God bless you.

Her brain is shutting down
because of
intracranial pressure.

Or her nerves are dying.

Because of
the increased pressure.

She has a bleed in her brain.

You said the CT showed...

No tumors. But if she has
an AVM leading to
a cerebral hemorrhage,

we could've missed it.
She needs a burr hole
to relieve...

You wanna drill into her brain
because of an invisible bleed
the CT couldn't see?

We should do an LP
to confirm the presence
of red blood cells.

And her brain herniates
and then she dies.

Right. Better to kill her
in the OR.

Chase, what do you think?

Here's a cliffhanger.

I think it would help to know
what she has before we
start digging into her brain.

Might be better to
play it safe to start.
Do an LP.

Sex better be damn good.

Lot of apples,
not many candy bars.

Any antibiotics?

Three caps of Augmentin.

For six patients.

Give them to Peng.

He's allergic to penicillin.

The First Aid kit
has two epi pens.

If he has a severe reaction,
10 epi pens won't save him.

You take the pills.
He's worse.

He's a guy who doesn't
speak English.

Give him the meds.

If it's not meningitis,
we're risking his life and
flushing meds down the toilet.

Then do an LP on him.
If it's clear, you win.

If it's cloudy he gets
the Augmentin.
And we risk a reaction.

Sounds like a plan.
All except for the part where
we don't have an LP needle.

And the shaking of the plane
means I'll probably pierce
his spinal cord

and cripple him for life.
But, I mean,
it totally sounds like a plan.

You're right. Let him die.
Give me the meds.

Got it.
Damn.

What is it?

Shut up. Don't get hysterical.

Just tell me
what the hell it is.

House. We should have
turned back.

We should have turned back.

House.

Hold this.

Ladies and gentlemen,

we have a passenger with
a confirmed case
of bacterial meningitis.

Unless we land
as soon as possible, the
passenger will not survive.

It's very likely that
some of you have been
infected as well.

As soon as you start feeling
symptoms, we need to isolate
you in First Class cabin.

Fever, rash, nausea,

and in the late stages
tremor in the left hand.

I've got that.
Oh, God.

What do we do?
It's really bad.

Break out the bubbly.

Yo, listen up.

The bad news is, you have
an illness. The good news is
it's not meningitis.

It's not fatal,
it's just embarrassing.

It's conversion disorder,
more commonly known
as mass hysteria.

It happens often in
high-anxiety situations,
especially to women.

I know it sounds sexist,
but science says you're weak
and soft. What can I do?

House, you're wrong.

Look at my hand.

Yeah. Look at her hand.

Shaking left hand.
What is that a symptom of?

Not meningitis. It's basically
a symptom of nothing.

I put the idea
into their heads
and watched it happen.

Same thing Peng cruelly did
with the puking and the rash.

The rash is in my head?

Your mind controls your body.

If it thinks you're sick,
it makes you sick.

It just started.

If you'll all just calm down,
your symptoms
will soon go away.

And to facilitate
this process,

your flight crew will move
through the cabin with
a complimentary bar service.

Thank you and, as always,
have a pleasant flight.

Still feel like puking?
No.

How did you know?

LP was negative.

I came up with
an alternate theory
and I tested it.

Couldn't have done it
without you. Rage is
a symptom of mass hysteria.

Just one more thing
to clean up. Peng set off
the mass hysteria.

What set off Peng?

He really is dying.
Yeah.

I haven't the
faintest idea why.

What's extension pasturing?

It's when you're molested
by a priest's cousin.

Do we really need these three?

Worried they'll make you
look bad?

Could be symptomatic
of head trauma,
cerebral infarction,

or intracranial hemorrhage.
Thoughts?

How long until we land?

Too long to wait.

His head's as smooth
as a baby's bottom, no bumps.

So I think we can
rule out head trauma.

But you gotta choose between
what's left, a clog or a leak?

You're talking of toilet?

House, is this
actually helpful?

Not so far.

What about syphilis?

Well, first of all, he
apparently speaks a language
no one else speaks,

which makes talking up
the ladies a little rough.

We're flying out of Singapore.

If he has a credit card
and a condom,
he can get anything he wants.

What?

Condoms.

He has focal limb paralysis.

His legs got paralyzed
by a condom?

No, by cocaine.

It was inside the condom.

It's now spreading
through his digestive tract.

You think he's a mule.

I think he's a jackass.

We're gonna have to operate.
Cool!

They're gonna kill her.
We were wrong.

Which means Foreman was right.

Maybe Foreman's
right about us, too. Maybe
we should just stop all this.

I mean, if it's
affecting our jobs.

It's not affecting our jobs.

We had sex in a patient's
bedroom. A bedroom
we were examining for toxins.

Yeah, our judgment's right
on the mark.

All right. No more sex
in patient's homes, no more
sex with cats watching.

Anywhere else you wanna
cross off the list?

The bowl.
What?

Has she eaten
since she's been here?

She's been sick
since she's been here.

What if it's a symptom?
Well, why would you think...

The bowl was full.

You're gonna need to
hold him down.
He's not gonna like this.

Do you really think
he's a mule?

Fits the symptoms.

You sure he's not contagious?

Pretty much.

You can't be pretty much sure.
Means you're not sure.

Oh, aren't you clever?

Come on.

I know you're pretty much
unconscious,

but as has been pointed out
to me, pretty much
doesn't mean squat.

Okay, hold him tight.

The faster we do this,
the less likely he is
to die of shock.

Tighter.

Sorry.
Do that again.

Ease off and then press down.

Pressure on his joints
relieves his pain.

Okay.
Wrong again.

Where's his wallet?

Scuba certification card.

Big deal. I have one of these.
Yeah.

But do you also have a receipt
from Tekong's Scuba Rental
dated yesterday?

Tell the Captain to
drop as low as he can,
under 5,000 feet.

We're at 38,000...
Peng's got the bends.

He went diving yesterday.

Like an idiot,
he surfaced too quickly,
and like a bigger idiot,

he boarded a flight which is
pressurized to 8,000 feet
above sea level.

Low pressure is killing him.

Tell the pilot to dive until
we can club baby seals
out of the window.

And get him some oxygen.

Fifty years ago, it was
one estate. The two homes
shared an electrical system.

Unfortunately,
the exterminator
didn't know that,

so when they fumigated
next door,

the poison gas flowed
through the old pipe
and into your house.

The scopolamine patch
was masking the effects
of the poison.

You'll have to stay here
for a few more days, but
after that you should be fine.

I'm sorry about your cat.

And your hair.

For 1 2 years, Harrington
never left the property.

I thought I was being punished
for going away,

but really I was being
punished for coming home.

Thank you.
I saved your life. You owe me.

I wasn't sick.

But you didn't know that.
You owe me.

I know it now.

Your mind convinced your body
to get a rash, photophobia,
vomit.

How do you know it wouldn't
have shut down your cold,
cold heart next?

I don't owe you.

You're mean.

That's how I compensate
for being weak and soft.

I just wanted to
say thank you.

You're extremely welcome.

And I'm in New York
every Monday.

Are you handicap accessible?

Hi, Robin?

This is Dr. Wilson.

Fran's doctor. James.

It was a toxin.
We caught it in time,
and she's gonna be fine.

Yeah, it is.

Listen, I was just wondering
if you were coming back in
again to visit.

Nice catch.

Thanks.

Think even House
would be impressed.

I don't know about that.

Any idea how
you wanna celebrate?

What?

I want more.

I thought
you were getting a little
worn out by...

No, that's not what I meant.

I know.

I was just hoping you'd
take the hint and pretend
you never said that.

I want this to be
more than it is.

I thought we were clear.

In the beginning,
but you can't tell me...

Yes, I can. And I don't.

It was fun. That's it.

And now it's over.