Home Economics (2021–…): Season 3, Episode 10 - Santa Suit Rental, $25 Per Day - full transcript
The most wonderful time of the year brings unforeseen financial troubles to one member of the Hayworth family.
- So how's Sarah doing?
- Living the dream.
If the dream is mounting a
low-budget children's musical
in Sacramento while
staying with your parents.
- That is one of the saddest
full sentences I've ever heard.
- Whoa. Tom, nice sweater.
Finally wearing
something I would wear.
- Well, I thought I should
upgrade from my usual hoodie,
you know...
- Here it comes.
- As a "New York Times"
bestselling author.
- You're gonna hear that a lot.
- 100% virgin wool. Very nice.
- Thank you.
Hey, how do they know
that the sheep haven't...
- That's not what that means.
- Okay.
- I have so much to teach you
now that you're not buying
your clothes at Costco.
Hey, remember, when I say
"Christmas surprise..."
- I do the Christmas surprise.
- Oh, they're gonna freak out.
It's gonna be the best one yet.
Hey, guys,
I know that Connor's
usually the one to make
big family gestures, but
it's been a pretty good year
for me, you know, as a...
- He's not gonna.
- Oh, he is.
- "New York Times"
bestselling author.
- Wait. Are you about to do,
like, a holiday gift thing?
- I got us all tickets
to see "The Nutcracker."
- Wow.
- Ooh.
- You're seeing
"The Nutcracker."
You're seeing "The Nutcracker."
You're seeing
"The Nutcracker."
- Tom, that's so fun. I
love "The Nutcracker."
- That name sounds hilarious.
- Move over, bro.
Looks like there's a
new big spender in town.
- Oh, yup. Definitely
no topping that.
Lupe, abort.
- Honey, that's a great
Christmas surprise.
- Oh, not... No, not
Christmas surprise.
- What's this?
- Oh, it's probably
just junk mail.
I'd just throw it out.
- No way. Connor,
you're taking us
on a ski vacation to
Aspen for New Years?
Oh, my God.
My, gosh.
- Hey, sorry, man.
I didn't mean to
steal your thunder.
- No, that's all right.
Yeah, I guess old Tom
might've been bummed,
but new Tom is
psyched.
I guess when you're on top,
things don't bug you as much.
- I know, right? It's awesome.
- We can go skiing and
to "The Nutcracker."
There's room for both.
- Yeah.
- Two equally cool things.
- Eh.
- Yeah, equally cool.
- I'm glad new Tom's so chill
because there's also this.
Lupe!
- Fire in the hole.
Oh.
- Come on, man. Now,
you're just showing off.
- ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
- Brian! Bri-guy.
So how's my favourite
money manager?
- Really? Your favourite?
Can I tell people that because
that would be huge for me.
- Whatever. So how are things?
- Great. You know what?
I think I have a real shot
with Linda in annuities.
- Not what I'm asking about.
- Oh, you meant with you?
Oh, uh, yeah. Um, not great.
- Very funny, Brian.
- Look, I wouldn't have called
you from our holiday party,
but it's time-sensitive
and, uh, well, I drew
the short candy cane.
We just got an update on
that investment you made
in the wind farm
and the update is...
that it's gone.
- Gone? What do you mean?
Like the stock crashed?
- More like a freak
storm literally blew
the windmills away and, um,
I mean, now they're gone.
- So how much did we lose?
- Before I tell you that number,
I think it's important
to remember that you have
many other investments
that didn't blow away
and then sink to the
bottom of the ocean.
- Okay, so you're saying...
W-what are you saying?
- We took a huge hit, but hey,
with investments like this...
I mean, you win
some, you lose some.
Am I right?
- No!
Not me, Brian. I'm all win.
That's kind of my thing.
- Oh, that's a great
line. "All win."
Can I use that on Linda?
- Here's what we're gonna
do... Take all the money
from the short-term
liquid account
and put it in the fund that
I'm sending you right now.
- Okay, well, are
you sure about that?
'Cause that's gonna tie
up a lot of your money.
You know, you're gonna
have to tighten the belt
for a little while.
- Yeah, no, I'm sure.
I put money in here before and
it always surges at year end.
It's like my own, personal
golden goose.
We'll be back in the
black by New Years.
Commit funds.
- Commit funds. Boom.
You know what?
You've inspired me.
I'm gonna go all in on Linda.
First step, introduce myself.
- Okay, good bye, Brian.
- Okay, the hotel is confirmed,
the plane is chartered,
and the custom
"Hayworth Holiday"
ski jackets will be waiting
for you all in Aspen.
- Right. Aspen.
- Oh, good news. The
helicopter you like
is available for heli-skiing...
- Oh.
- And yes, they can
serve lobster in the air.
- Oh.
- Though they strongly advise
against hot butter.
- Oh, great.
Great. Hey, Lupe, um...
how much is all this?
- What?
- Like, what's the,
like, price?
- I...
I have no idea.
You've never asked
me that before.
What's wrong?
- Nothing.
Just, um... just...
just disappointed
about the hot butter.
Thank you.
- Enjoy the sugar.
- Christmas Eve is my favourite.
Christmas day is good,
but it takes so long to
open all the presents.
- We don't have that
problem with our family.
- Lucky.
- My dad makes us save
the wrapping paper.
- Hey, it's not about the
presents our parents get us.
- It's what Uncle
Connor gets us.
I've been dropping little
hints about a PlayStation 5.
- Like what?
- Like telling him I
want a PlayStation 5.
I think he picked up on
it.
- Oh, no.
- What's wrong?
- Santiago, my contractor,
he just said our client
wants to start right
after the holidays.
- Isn't that a good thing?
- I'm just a little
nervous, you know?
It's a big leap for me.
And look at his Instagram.
His work is so good.
- Ooh, back up.
- I know. That
backsplash is insane.
- No, I'm talking about
the insanely hot guy
standing in front
of the backsplash.
- Oh, that's Santiago.
- That's Santiago?
- Oh, come on.
He's not that hot.
And I thought you were...
How do I put this?
Into girls.
- I'm gay, not blind.
- Connor, should
I open more wine?
Your family drink like fish.
Sup?
- Oh, did you
think I was Connor?
That's hilarious. I guess
it's the new threads.
Well, I have been
working out a little bit.
- No, it's the threads.
- Ah, good one, Loop.
There it is.
- Nope. Okay.
- So many presents.
- Yeah, I guess I went
a little overboard.
Well, who cares?
It's only money.
Who are you?
- I know, right? I
guess this family
has two successful and
carefree Hayworth men now.
Give you
one more shot at that.
No?
Okay, I'm gonna
save this for later.
- Catcher in the
Bri, how we doing?
- Not good.
Turns out Linda's married,
and she's pretty into it.
Oh, you meant with you,
right. Yeah, also not good.
- What? You got
to be kidding me.
- I wish. She's been
married six years,
but she doesn't wear a ring.
I guess it chafes
when she does cross...
- Brian.
- Oh, you meant with you again.
Sorry about that. So
yeah, I just stopped back
in the office to check on your
fund, and it is still down.
- I don't get it. That
was my golden goose.
- I suggest we just sell
now, we cut our losses.
And then we regroup
in the new year.
- Yeah, I guess I
don't have a choice.
Oh, this is incredible news.
- What? Stock's back up?
- No, no, no. Linda
just texted me.
She has a sister.
- Okay, good bye, Brian.
- Can I please
have my phone back?
- Oh, absolutely
is what I would say
if I didn't find a
shirtless pic of Santiago.
Did you know he's a triathlete?
I'd like to try athlete.
- Okay, now it just feels
like you're messing with me.
A little bit.
Denise!
- What?
- You liked a picture.
- No, I didn't.
Did I? I was just
trying to zoom in.
- It's from two years ago.
- Maybe it's not so bad.
- Oh, really? What
would you think
if the person you just started
working with scrolled through
two years of pictures
and liked the one
where you were shirtless?
- He's going to think
you want to smash.
Stuffed mushroom?
- Yes, please.
- I'm just gonna unlike it.
- No, don't do that.
- Too late. Why?
- Because he can
also see the unlike
and sometimes the unlike does
more damage than the like.
Remember that picture
of me in the fedora?
- Oh, you saw that
I unliked that?
You know, I really
wanted to be supportive,
but nothing about that worked.
You looked like a
street magician.
- That's what I was going for.
- Now, my new coworker's
gonna think I'm a perv.
- Hey, don't say that.
He'll also think
you're indecisive.
- What are you wearing?
- Oh, this?
Tom must've left it when
they were staying here.
They hoodie is
surprisingly comfortable.
I mean, say what you
will, but Kirkland knows
what they're doing when
it comes to loungewear.
- Connor, are things that bad?
- They're definitely
not good, Lupe.
I don't want to freak
the family out, but...
I don't think
we should do Aspen.
- I'm sure things will work out.
You've had ups and downs before.
- No, that's the
thing. I haven't, okay?
When it comes to the money,
with me, it's always been ups.
I can always see the smart play,
work the angles, but what if...
what if I've lost
my business mojo?
You know, my bojo.
- You're being ridiculous.
You will bounce back.
I know it.
- Thanks, Lupe. I can
always count on you.
So what'd you come in here for?
- I was just printing something.
Right on.
Is this a résumé?
- No.
- Well, I cannot believe that
we'll be ringing in
the new year in Aspen.
- All thanks to
Connor. Whoo, Aspen!
- Yeah. Aspen.
So fun.
Although, in a way
aren't we having just
as much fun right now?
- More fun than Aspen?
- I mean, if you
really think about it,
what's the most
fun part of skiing?
Taking off your boots
at the end of the day,
having a hot
chocolate by the fire.
I mean, does anyone
actually enjoy
the skiing part of skiing?
- I love skiing.
- So do I.
- Yeah, me too.
Tom doesn't.
He's so scared he'll get
hurt, he still says pizza
and french fries
the whole way down.
- No.
- That was the old Tom.
Honestly, I can't
wait to get out there,
carve a line in
some fresh pow-pow
with the gnarly K2s
I just picked up.
Along with a book on ski terms.
- Oh, awesome.
Awe-some.
Man, so we all love skiing.
- Mm-hmm.
- Ding.
- Did you just say ding?
- No, that was just a text
alert I got on my phone.
I wonder what it is. Oh, no.
The conditions are bad.
- I read the weather report.
It's supposed to snow all week.
- Apparently, too much snow
is... is what it says
and they say the
fresh snow is the...
most dangerous.
Also, someone saw a Sasquatch.
- Oh, the kids would love that.
- Yeah, and for the record,
my book say that fresh pow-pow
is the best pow-pow.
- Great. Well, this
is all working out.
You know, some people say
the true meaning of Christmas
is just being with your
family, but not this guy.
No, get me a chartered
plane and a five-star hotel
and some shellfish
at high altitude.
Who cares how much
it all costs, right?
Yay, Aspen!
- Feels like something's wrong.
- Yeah, the indecision,
the nonsensical babbling,
I'd recognise it anywhere.
- He sounds just like you.
Yeah, well...
The old me.
Hey, buddy, you okay?
- Is there a waitlist
for the new Bentley?
- Did the orangutan from
"Dunston Checks In" die?
- No.
I mean, yeah.
Sammy died in his sleep in 2010.
- So sorry.
- This can't be about Aspen.
I mean, everyone
knows you love skiing.
- And Sasquatches.
- Maybe I'm,
like, worried about the
environmental impact
of a ski trip?
- Environmental?
- What is even happening?
- Connor...
I can't believe I'm
gonna say this, but
are you having money problems?
- Yes.
Okay? Are you happy?
I lost some money.
- Connor, we had no idea.
- I'm so sorry.
- Yeah, if you want, I can
kick in for the ski trip.
I'm doing pretty well,
you know, as a "New
York Times" be...
- No.
- Okay.
- No, this is a little
more than ski trip money.
- Well, what are
we talking about.
I mean...
do you need a loan?
Oh, Tom.
Thanks, man, I needed that.
And I appreciate the offer,
but this isn't the kind of
loss that you can cover.
- Like, how much is it?
- I don't think I should say.
- Why don't you
just write it down?
- Ay, Dios mío.
- It's too big.
- Is that a phone number?
- I'm gonna be sick.
- Connor, why didn't you tell us
that you'd lost so much money?
I didn't know how.
It's never happened
to me before.
Honestly, I was embarrassed.
Oh, damn it, that sip
was like 30 bucks.
- Oh, my gosh.
- Wow.
Did you know your dad
was having money trouble?
- We knew Q4 was going to
be rocky, but not like this.
- I feel bad fishing
for that PS5.
I don't need it.
- This house is full
of stuff we don't need.
Wait.
I just got an amazing idea.
- We should rob a bank.
- We should take the
things we don't need
and sell it online,
so my dad doesn't need
to worry about money.
- That vase has got
to be worth something.
- I'll grab the painting.
- Connor, I'm so sorry.
I don't know what to say.
- Yeah, me neither.
- I do. Cancel the trip.
You know, it's a drop in the
bucket, but it's a start.
Don't worry about
us. We'll be fine.
Like you said, best part
of skiing is taking off
your boots at the
end of the day,
having a cup of hot
chocolate by the fire.
- Thanks, new Tom.
- Word.
- If you need anything
else, just let us know.
- Yeah, always.
- I appreciate that, guys,
but you don't have
to worry about me.
I'll be okay. Things might be
a little tight for a while,
but I still have some money.
- Like, how much?
- Oh, I'd rather not...
I'd rather not say.
- Why don't you write it down?
- Yeah.
Okay.
Are you kidding me?
- That's the exact, same number.
- You had us
worried for nothing.
- Okay, it's not
about how much I have,
it's about how much I lost.
I knew you guys
wouldn't understand.
- Didn't these used
to be in a bowl?
- I can't stop thinking
about the like, unlike thing.
- Oh, come on.
What's the big deal?
- The big deal is that Tom
could've used his book money
on anything, and he
used it to bet on me.
I don't want to ruin it
because the only contractor
that's willing to hire me
thinks that I want to tap that.
- Yeah, that is a big deal.
- I need Santiago to know
that I'm only interested
in him as a contractor.
- Okay, how about we
post a lovey-dovey photo
of you and Tom on your feed
and then Santiago will think
you're in a happy marriage.
- I am in a happy marriage.
- Yes. Exactly.
Bring that energy to the photo.
- Okay. Tom.
Honey, can I borrow
you for something?
Oh! Connor, get out of here.
- Ah, hey. What's up?
- Nothing.
Just wanted to say I love you.
Oh, thank you.
You know, I love you too.
I was just thinking about
the time that we went...
- We got it. We got it.
- Okay.
- And #myangel,
#Iwillalwaysloveyou,
and done. Whew.
Glad that's over.
- I am so sorry I
got you in this mess.
Just got a comment.
Oh, and another one.
- Oh.
And another.
"My condolences."
"Poor Tom, he will be missed"?
- Oh, yeah. This post makes
it look like Tom died.
This is just gonna
ruin everything.
Maybe I should
just text Santiago
and explain the whole thing.
- Yeah, that's
probably for the best.
- "He held on for so long."
Oh, boy.
- Well, it's official.
Cancelled Aspen.
- Good, and you'll be fine.
You still have so much money.
What are you worried about?
- It's not about the money, Tom.
It's about me. I'm
worried I lost my bojo.
That's my business mojo.
- Yeah, no, I put that together.
- What I did is I took
the B from business,
I took the ojo...
- Right.
- From mojo...
- From... yeah. No, I got...
- And if you combine them...
- Wasn't that hard
to figure out.
- I just have always
had a way with money.
You know, ever since
I was a little kid
and I first crushed you guys
in that "Monopoly" game.
Remember that?
That was the first
time I made you cry.
I was only seven, but I just...
I already had the touch.
And now it's gone.
- Come on, man.
I'm sure this is
just a rough patch.
In no time you're gonna
be buying new companies,
laying off their employees, and
stripping them down for parts.
- That's nice of you to say.
I just wish I believed it.
Well, I'm sorry for
ruining Christmas.
I'm gonna head up to bed and
finish off this night ham.
See you tomorrow.
- Yikes. Looks like Connor's
still pulling a full Tom.
- Right. Well, the old Tom.
- Sure.
- Well, it's a good
thing I'm the new Tom
'cause I think I
know how to fix this.
Oh, it's so gross.
Morning, sleepyhead.
- Morning, guys.
- Come hit the slopes.
What's all this?
- This is us enjoying the best
part of skiing right here.
- Whew. Got to get
these boots off.
I can't feel my feet.
- Hot chocolate?
Yes, please.
How'd you come up with this?
- Easy.
I just thought
about what you'd do
and I did a much, much
less expensive version.
- We have a surprise
for you, too, Daddy.
We sold some of the stuff
from around the house
to make money for you.
- We made 72 bucks.
- Ah, wow. Thanks, guys.
- It was easy.
We sold some of the
art from the wall
and the dinosaur skull
you weren't using.
- Really?
You... you sold that?
This is all great. I
mean, maybe I don't need
to crush it business
when I have you guys.
Who cares if I lost my
bojo forever, right?
- "Maybe I don't need to
crush it at business"?
- It didn't work.
He's still broken.
- I still got some
tricks up my sleeve.
Hang on, buddy.
You didn't open
your first present.
- All right.
- What could it be?
- No way.
You serious?
- No. Is that...
it's Christmas. It's
gonna ruin the whole day.
- I'm sorry. It had to be done.
- Oh, wow!
Sarah threw mine out the
window last time we played.
- With good cause.
- Oh, that's such a...
That's such a fun gift to play
with the kids on another day.
And he's already setting it up.
- I call top hat. Whoo!
- ♪ It's the most
wonderful time ♪
- Oh, Denise, take a
ride on the Reading
to $200 town.
- Oh, no.
It looks like I'm
running out of money.
I'll have to stop soon.
- Damn it.
- Welcome to Park Place. We
have a lovely hotel here.
Can I take your bags?
See, the odds of landing
on Park Place or Boardwalk...
- Okay.
- Are so low, it's like
finding a needle in a haystack,
but if you own the strip,
you own the whole haystack.
- How do I make any money?
I only have the
Electric Company.
- Trade Tom for
the Water Company.
He's desperate.
- Come on, man.
- Water and power's
a deadly combo, huh?
Huh.
Remind me to call Bri-guy
about the Burmese
hydropower project.
- You did it. You gave
him his bojo back.
That's business mojo.
- Yeah, no. No, I know.
All it took was a little brojo.
Brother mojo.
- I don't follow.
- Did Santiago respond?
- Oh, yeah.
Apparently, he never
checks Instagram,
so had I not texted him,
he never would've
known it happened.
- "Glad your lesbian
sister-in-law liked my picture.
"Sorry to hear about Tom.
I only met him once. He
was clearly very sick."
It's not ideal.
- Yeah.
I'll worry about it tomorrow.
It's Christmas.
- Yeah.
- You ready?
- Tom, this is a very bad idea.
- Absolutely.
But let's see how
this plays out.
- Geronimo! Oh!
New Tom is down.
- ♪ Wonderful
time of the year ♪
♪ There'll be much
mistletoeing ♪
♪ And hearts will be glowing ♪
- Oh, my God.
A framed copy of the "New
York Times" bestseller list.
I love it.
- It's just a little something
to say thank you
for betting on me.
- Well, you're gonna be amazing.
I mean, I just... I know it.
Has she told you about this
hot contractor that
she's working with?
- What?
- Hot?
- No.
- I mean, we're not just, like,
sitting around all
day just, like,
looking at pictures
of some shirtless guy.
- Stop objectifying men, Tom.
- Yeah, I mean, don't be
a part of the problem.
- Get your mind
out of the gutter.
- He could be someone's son.
- Okay. Yeah.
Sorry.
- Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!
- Hey.
- Mom!
- You made it.
- Oh, no, not Mom. I'm
Santa Claus, of course.
Come on, Sarah.
Pull up a seat.
- Prepare to get crushed.
- Oh, no. Not "Monopoly."
No. No, no, no. No, no.
Santa promised herself that
she would never do this again.
- Nice try, Sarah Claus.
- No.
- Come on.
- You're being very naughty.
- No!
- Living the dream.
If the dream is mounting a
low-budget children's musical
in Sacramento while
staying with your parents.
- That is one of the saddest
full sentences I've ever heard.
- Whoa. Tom, nice sweater.
Finally wearing
something I would wear.
- Well, I thought I should
upgrade from my usual hoodie,
you know...
- Here it comes.
- As a "New York Times"
bestselling author.
- You're gonna hear that a lot.
- 100% virgin wool. Very nice.
- Thank you.
Hey, how do they know
that the sheep haven't...
- That's not what that means.
- Okay.
- I have so much to teach you
now that you're not buying
your clothes at Costco.
Hey, remember, when I say
"Christmas surprise..."
- I do the Christmas surprise.
- Oh, they're gonna freak out.
It's gonna be the best one yet.
Hey, guys,
I know that Connor's
usually the one to make
big family gestures, but
it's been a pretty good year
for me, you know, as a...
- He's not gonna.
- Oh, he is.
- "New York Times"
bestselling author.
- Wait. Are you about to do,
like, a holiday gift thing?
- I got us all tickets
to see "The Nutcracker."
- Wow.
- Ooh.
- You're seeing
"The Nutcracker."
You're seeing "The Nutcracker."
You're seeing
"The Nutcracker."
- Tom, that's so fun. I
love "The Nutcracker."
- That name sounds hilarious.
- Move over, bro.
Looks like there's a
new big spender in town.
- Oh, yup. Definitely
no topping that.
Lupe, abort.
- Honey, that's a great
Christmas surprise.
- Oh, not... No, not
Christmas surprise.
- What's this?
- Oh, it's probably
just junk mail.
I'd just throw it out.
- No way. Connor,
you're taking us
on a ski vacation to
Aspen for New Years?
Oh, my God.
My, gosh.
- Hey, sorry, man.
I didn't mean to
steal your thunder.
- No, that's all right.
Yeah, I guess old Tom
might've been bummed,
but new Tom is
psyched.
I guess when you're on top,
things don't bug you as much.
- I know, right? It's awesome.
- We can go skiing and
to "The Nutcracker."
There's room for both.
- Yeah.
- Two equally cool things.
- Eh.
- Yeah, equally cool.
- I'm glad new Tom's so chill
because there's also this.
Lupe!
- Fire in the hole.
Oh.
- Come on, man. Now,
you're just showing off.
- ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
- Brian! Bri-guy.
So how's my favourite
money manager?
- Really? Your favourite?
Can I tell people that because
that would be huge for me.
- Whatever. So how are things?
- Great. You know what?
I think I have a real shot
with Linda in annuities.
- Not what I'm asking about.
- Oh, you meant with you?
Oh, uh, yeah. Um, not great.
- Very funny, Brian.
- Look, I wouldn't have called
you from our holiday party,
but it's time-sensitive
and, uh, well, I drew
the short candy cane.
We just got an update on
that investment you made
in the wind farm
and the update is...
that it's gone.
- Gone? What do you mean?
Like the stock crashed?
- More like a freak
storm literally blew
the windmills away and, um,
I mean, now they're gone.
- So how much did we lose?
- Before I tell you that number,
I think it's important
to remember that you have
many other investments
that didn't blow away
and then sink to the
bottom of the ocean.
- Okay, so you're saying...
W-what are you saying?
- We took a huge hit, but hey,
with investments like this...
I mean, you win
some, you lose some.
Am I right?
- No!
Not me, Brian. I'm all win.
That's kind of my thing.
- Oh, that's a great
line. "All win."
Can I use that on Linda?
- Here's what we're gonna
do... Take all the money
from the short-term
liquid account
and put it in the fund that
I'm sending you right now.
- Okay, well, are
you sure about that?
'Cause that's gonna tie
up a lot of your money.
You know, you're gonna
have to tighten the belt
for a little while.
- Yeah, no, I'm sure.
I put money in here before and
it always surges at year end.
It's like my own, personal
golden goose.
We'll be back in the
black by New Years.
Commit funds.
- Commit funds. Boom.
You know what?
You've inspired me.
I'm gonna go all in on Linda.
First step, introduce myself.
- Okay, good bye, Brian.
- Okay, the hotel is confirmed,
the plane is chartered,
and the custom
"Hayworth Holiday"
ski jackets will be waiting
for you all in Aspen.
- Right. Aspen.
- Oh, good news. The
helicopter you like
is available for heli-skiing...
- Oh.
- And yes, they can
serve lobster in the air.
- Oh.
- Though they strongly advise
against hot butter.
- Oh, great.
Great. Hey, Lupe, um...
how much is all this?
- What?
- Like, what's the,
like, price?
- I...
I have no idea.
You've never asked
me that before.
What's wrong?
- Nothing.
Just, um... just...
just disappointed
about the hot butter.
Thank you.
- Enjoy the sugar.
- Christmas Eve is my favourite.
Christmas day is good,
but it takes so long to
open all the presents.
- We don't have that
problem with our family.
- Lucky.
- My dad makes us save
the wrapping paper.
- Hey, it's not about the
presents our parents get us.
- It's what Uncle
Connor gets us.
I've been dropping little
hints about a PlayStation 5.
- Like what?
- Like telling him I
want a PlayStation 5.
I think he picked up on
it.
- Oh, no.
- What's wrong?
- Santiago, my contractor,
he just said our client
wants to start right
after the holidays.
- Isn't that a good thing?
- I'm just a little
nervous, you know?
It's a big leap for me.
And look at his Instagram.
His work is so good.
- Ooh, back up.
- I know. That
backsplash is insane.
- No, I'm talking about
the insanely hot guy
standing in front
of the backsplash.
- Oh, that's Santiago.
- That's Santiago?
- Oh, come on.
He's not that hot.
And I thought you were...
How do I put this?
Into girls.
- I'm gay, not blind.
- Connor, should
I open more wine?
Your family drink like fish.
Sup?
- Oh, did you
think I was Connor?
That's hilarious. I guess
it's the new threads.
Well, I have been
working out a little bit.
- No, it's the threads.
- Ah, good one, Loop.
There it is.
- Nope. Okay.
- So many presents.
- Yeah, I guess I went
a little overboard.
Well, who cares?
It's only money.
Who are you?
- I know, right? I
guess this family
has two successful and
carefree Hayworth men now.
Give you
one more shot at that.
No?
Okay, I'm gonna
save this for later.
- Catcher in the
Bri, how we doing?
- Not good.
Turns out Linda's married,
and she's pretty into it.
Oh, you meant with you,
right. Yeah, also not good.
- What? You got
to be kidding me.
- I wish. She's been
married six years,
but she doesn't wear a ring.
I guess it chafes
when she does cross...
- Brian.
- Oh, you meant with you again.
Sorry about that. So
yeah, I just stopped back
in the office to check on your
fund, and it is still down.
- I don't get it. That
was my golden goose.
- I suggest we just sell
now, we cut our losses.
And then we regroup
in the new year.
- Yeah, I guess I
don't have a choice.
Oh, this is incredible news.
- What? Stock's back up?
- No, no, no. Linda
just texted me.
She has a sister.
- Okay, good bye, Brian.
- Can I please
have my phone back?
- Oh, absolutely
is what I would say
if I didn't find a
shirtless pic of Santiago.
Did you know he's a triathlete?
I'd like to try athlete.
- Okay, now it just feels
like you're messing with me.
A little bit.
Denise!
- What?
- You liked a picture.
- No, I didn't.
Did I? I was just
trying to zoom in.
- It's from two years ago.
- Maybe it's not so bad.
- Oh, really? What
would you think
if the person you just started
working with scrolled through
two years of pictures
and liked the one
where you were shirtless?
- He's going to think
you want to smash.
Stuffed mushroom?
- Yes, please.
- I'm just gonna unlike it.
- No, don't do that.
- Too late. Why?
- Because he can
also see the unlike
and sometimes the unlike does
more damage than the like.
Remember that picture
of me in the fedora?
- Oh, you saw that
I unliked that?
You know, I really
wanted to be supportive,
but nothing about that worked.
You looked like a
street magician.
- That's what I was going for.
- Now, my new coworker's
gonna think I'm a perv.
- Hey, don't say that.
He'll also think
you're indecisive.
- What are you wearing?
- Oh, this?
Tom must've left it when
they were staying here.
They hoodie is
surprisingly comfortable.
I mean, say what you
will, but Kirkland knows
what they're doing when
it comes to loungewear.
- Connor, are things that bad?
- They're definitely
not good, Lupe.
I don't want to freak
the family out, but...
I don't think
we should do Aspen.
- I'm sure things will work out.
You've had ups and downs before.
- No, that's the
thing. I haven't, okay?
When it comes to the money,
with me, it's always been ups.
I can always see the smart play,
work the angles, but what if...
what if I've lost
my business mojo?
You know, my bojo.
- You're being ridiculous.
You will bounce back.
I know it.
- Thanks, Lupe. I can
always count on you.
So what'd you come in here for?
- I was just printing something.
Right on.
Is this a résumé?
- No.
- Well, I cannot believe that
we'll be ringing in
the new year in Aspen.
- All thanks to
Connor. Whoo, Aspen!
- Yeah. Aspen.
So fun.
Although, in a way
aren't we having just
as much fun right now?
- More fun than Aspen?
- I mean, if you
really think about it,
what's the most
fun part of skiing?
Taking off your boots
at the end of the day,
having a hot
chocolate by the fire.
I mean, does anyone
actually enjoy
the skiing part of skiing?
- I love skiing.
- So do I.
- Yeah, me too.
Tom doesn't.
He's so scared he'll get
hurt, he still says pizza
and french fries
the whole way down.
- No.
- That was the old Tom.
Honestly, I can't
wait to get out there,
carve a line in
some fresh pow-pow
with the gnarly K2s
I just picked up.
Along with a book on ski terms.
- Oh, awesome.
Awe-some.
Man, so we all love skiing.
- Mm-hmm.
- Ding.
- Did you just say ding?
- No, that was just a text
alert I got on my phone.
I wonder what it is. Oh, no.
The conditions are bad.
- I read the weather report.
It's supposed to snow all week.
- Apparently, too much snow
is... is what it says
and they say the
fresh snow is the...
most dangerous.
Also, someone saw a Sasquatch.
- Oh, the kids would love that.
- Yeah, and for the record,
my book say that fresh pow-pow
is the best pow-pow.
- Great. Well, this
is all working out.
You know, some people say
the true meaning of Christmas
is just being with your
family, but not this guy.
No, get me a chartered
plane and a five-star hotel
and some shellfish
at high altitude.
Who cares how much
it all costs, right?
Yay, Aspen!
- Feels like something's wrong.
- Yeah, the indecision,
the nonsensical babbling,
I'd recognise it anywhere.
- He sounds just like you.
Yeah, well...
The old me.
Hey, buddy, you okay?
- Is there a waitlist
for the new Bentley?
- Did the orangutan from
"Dunston Checks In" die?
- No.
I mean, yeah.
Sammy died in his sleep in 2010.
- So sorry.
- This can't be about Aspen.
I mean, everyone
knows you love skiing.
- And Sasquatches.
- Maybe I'm,
like, worried about the
environmental impact
of a ski trip?
- Environmental?
- What is even happening?
- Connor...
I can't believe I'm
gonna say this, but
are you having money problems?
- Yes.
Okay? Are you happy?
I lost some money.
- Connor, we had no idea.
- I'm so sorry.
- Yeah, if you want, I can
kick in for the ski trip.
I'm doing pretty well,
you know, as a "New
York Times" be...
- No.
- Okay.
- No, this is a little
more than ski trip money.
- Well, what are
we talking about.
I mean...
do you need a loan?
Oh, Tom.
Thanks, man, I needed that.
And I appreciate the offer,
but this isn't the kind of
loss that you can cover.
- Like, how much is it?
- I don't think I should say.
- Why don't you
just write it down?
- Ay, Dios mío.
- It's too big.
- Is that a phone number?
- I'm gonna be sick.
- Connor, why didn't you tell us
that you'd lost so much money?
I didn't know how.
It's never happened
to me before.
Honestly, I was embarrassed.
Oh, damn it, that sip
was like 30 bucks.
- Oh, my gosh.
- Wow.
Did you know your dad
was having money trouble?
- We knew Q4 was going to
be rocky, but not like this.
- I feel bad fishing
for that PS5.
I don't need it.
- This house is full
of stuff we don't need.
Wait.
I just got an amazing idea.
- We should rob a bank.
- We should take the
things we don't need
and sell it online,
so my dad doesn't need
to worry about money.
- That vase has got
to be worth something.
- I'll grab the painting.
- Connor, I'm so sorry.
I don't know what to say.
- Yeah, me neither.
- I do. Cancel the trip.
You know, it's a drop in the
bucket, but it's a start.
Don't worry about
us. We'll be fine.
Like you said, best part
of skiing is taking off
your boots at the
end of the day,
having a cup of hot
chocolate by the fire.
- Thanks, new Tom.
- Word.
- If you need anything
else, just let us know.
- Yeah, always.
- I appreciate that, guys,
but you don't have
to worry about me.
I'll be okay. Things might be
a little tight for a while,
but I still have some money.
- Like, how much?
- Oh, I'd rather not...
I'd rather not say.
- Why don't you write it down?
- Yeah.
Okay.
Are you kidding me?
- That's the exact, same number.
- You had us
worried for nothing.
- Okay, it's not
about how much I have,
it's about how much I lost.
I knew you guys
wouldn't understand.
- Didn't these used
to be in a bowl?
- I can't stop thinking
about the like, unlike thing.
- Oh, come on.
What's the big deal?
- The big deal is that Tom
could've used his book money
on anything, and he
used it to bet on me.
I don't want to ruin it
because the only contractor
that's willing to hire me
thinks that I want to tap that.
- Yeah, that is a big deal.
- I need Santiago to know
that I'm only interested
in him as a contractor.
- Okay, how about we
post a lovey-dovey photo
of you and Tom on your feed
and then Santiago will think
you're in a happy marriage.
- I am in a happy marriage.
- Yes. Exactly.
Bring that energy to the photo.
- Okay. Tom.
Honey, can I borrow
you for something?
Oh! Connor, get out of here.
- Ah, hey. What's up?
- Nothing.
Just wanted to say I love you.
Oh, thank you.
You know, I love you too.
I was just thinking about
the time that we went...
- We got it. We got it.
- Okay.
- And #myangel,
#Iwillalwaysloveyou,
and done. Whew.
Glad that's over.
- I am so sorry I
got you in this mess.
Just got a comment.
Oh, and another one.
- Oh.
And another.
"My condolences."
"Poor Tom, he will be missed"?
- Oh, yeah. This post makes
it look like Tom died.
This is just gonna
ruin everything.
Maybe I should
just text Santiago
and explain the whole thing.
- Yeah, that's
probably for the best.
- "He held on for so long."
Oh, boy.
- Well, it's official.
Cancelled Aspen.
- Good, and you'll be fine.
You still have so much money.
What are you worried about?
- It's not about the money, Tom.
It's about me. I'm
worried I lost my bojo.
That's my business mojo.
- Yeah, no, I put that together.
- What I did is I took
the B from business,
I took the ojo...
- Right.
- From mojo...
- From... yeah. No, I got...
- And if you combine them...
- Wasn't that hard
to figure out.
- I just have always
had a way with money.
You know, ever since
I was a little kid
and I first crushed you guys
in that "Monopoly" game.
Remember that?
That was the first
time I made you cry.
I was only seven, but I just...
I already had the touch.
And now it's gone.
- Come on, man.
I'm sure this is
just a rough patch.
In no time you're gonna
be buying new companies,
laying off their employees, and
stripping them down for parts.
- That's nice of you to say.
I just wish I believed it.
Well, I'm sorry for
ruining Christmas.
I'm gonna head up to bed and
finish off this night ham.
See you tomorrow.
- Yikes. Looks like Connor's
still pulling a full Tom.
- Right. Well, the old Tom.
- Sure.
- Well, it's a good
thing I'm the new Tom
'cause I think I
know how to fix this.
Oh, it's so gross.
Morning, sleepyhead.
- Morning, guys.
- Come hit the slopes.
What's all this?
- This is us enjoying the best
part of skiing right here.
- Whew. Got to get
these boots off.
I can't feel my feet.
- Hot chocolate?
Yes, please.
How'd you come up with this?
- Easy.
I just thought
about what you'd do
and I did a much, much
less expensive version.
- We have a surprise
for you, too, Daddy.
We sold some of the stuff
from around the house
to make money for you.
- We made 72 bucks.
- Ah, wow. Thanks, guys.
- It was easy.
We sold some of the
art from the wall
and the dinosaur skull
you weren't using.
- Really?
You... you sold that?
This is all great. I
mean, maybe I don't need
to crush it business
when I have you guys.
Who cares if I lost my
bojo forever, right?
- "Maybe I don't need to
crush it at business"?
- It didn't work.
He's still broken.
- I still got some
tricks up my sleeve.
Hang on, buddy.
You didn't open
your first present.
- All right.
- What could it be?
- No way.
You serious?
- No. Is that...
it's Christmas. It's
gonna ruin the whole day.
- I'm sorry. It had to be done.
- Oh, wow!
Sarah threw mine out the
window last time we played.
- With good cause.
- Oh, that's such a...
That's such a fun gift to play
with the kids on another day.
And he's already setting it up.
- I call top hat. Whoo!
- ♪ It's the most
wonderful time ♪
- Oh, Denise, take a
ride on the Reading
to $200 town.
- Oh, no.
It looks like I'm
running out of money.
I'll have to stop soon.
- Damn it.
- Welcome to Park Place. We
have a lovely hotel here.
Can I take your bags?
See, the odds of landing
on Park Place or Boardwalk...
- Okay.
- Are so low, it's like
finding a needle in a haystack,
but if you own the strip,
you own the whole haystack.
- How do I make any money?
I only have the
Electric Company.
- Trade Tom for
the Water Company.
He's desperate.
- Come on, man.
- Water and power's
a deadly combo, huh?
Huh.
Remind me to call Bri-guy
about the Burmese
hydropower project.
- You did it. You gave
him his bojo back.
That's business mojo.
- Yeah, no. No, I know.
All it took was a little brojo.
Brother mojo.
- I don't follow.
- Did Santiago respond?
- Oh, yeah.
Apparently, he never
checks Instagram,
so had I not texted him,
he never would've
known it happened.
- "Glad your lesbian
sister-in-law liked my picture.
"Sorry to hear about Tom.
I only met him once. He
was clearly very sick."
It's not ideal.
- Yeah.
I'll worry about it tomorrow.
It's Christmas.
- Yeah.
- You ready?
- Tom, this is a very bad idea.
- Absolutely.
But let's see how
this plays out.
- Geronimo! Oh!
New Tom is down.
- ♪ Wonderful
time of the year ♪
♪ There'll be much
mistletoeing ♪
♪ And hearts will be glowing ♪
- Oh, my God.
A framed copy of the "New
York Times" bestseller list.
I love it.
- It's just a little something
to say thank you
for betting on me.
- Well, you're gonna be amazing.
I mean, I just... I know it.
Has she told you about this
hot contractor that
she's working with?
- What?
- Hot?
- No.
- I mean, we're not just, like,
sitting around all
day just, like,
looking at pictures
of some shirtless guy.
- Stop objectifying men, Tom.
- Yeah, I mean, don't be
a part of the problem.
- Get your mind
out of the gutter.
- He could be someone's son.
- Okay. Yeah.
Sorry.
- Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!
- Hey.
- Mom!
- You made it.
- Oh, no, not Mom. I'm
Santa Claus, of course.
Come on, Sarah.
Pull up a seat.
- Prepare to get crushed.
- Oh, no. Not "Monopoly."
No. No, no, no. No, no.
Santa promised herself that
she would never do this again.
- Nice try, Sarah Claus.
- No.
- Come on.
- You're being very naughty.
- No!