Hercules (1998–1999): Season 2, Episode 13 - Hercules and the Green-Eyed Monster - full transcript
Upset at his father remarrying, Icarus takes Pandora's Box and opens it during the ceremony.
♪ Who put the
"glad" in Gladiator? ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Whose daring deeds
are great theater? ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Is he bold? ♪
♪ No one braver ♪
♪ Is he sweet? ♪
♪ Our favorite
flavor, Hercules ♪
- ♪ What a guy ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ask his friends ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ No one's fool ♪
♪ Now the boy's in school ♪
♪ He's in trainin' ♪
♪ Sun is shinin' ♪
♪ And the nicest guy ♪
♪ No complainin' ♪
♪ He was a no one ♪
♪ Zero, zero, give
him a quick deed ♪
♪ He's our hero ♪
♪ He's the most
likely to succeed ♪
♪ From zero to hero ♪
♪ Herc is a hero ♪
♪ He'll be a hero ♪
Wait and see!
Cassandra, my
little cherry blossom,
I give you... The inner me.
What are these?
My baby teeth!
Look at those widdy
biddy little incisors, huh?
Aah!
Hey, whoop, doop, no, careful!
What if the tooth
nymph's nearby? Eww.
Good morning, class,
and a glorious morning it is.
Ahh, sweet air. Intoxicating.
What's with him?
Today, my budding inventists,
we begin on the chopulator.
This device will easily reduce
any object into much smaller bits.
It mixes, minces, dices, slices.
Its practical applications in
the kitchen alone are limitless.
Ahh, isn't that a
beautiful sound?
It reminds me of a
poem I wrote last night.
She is the fulcrum to my lever,
The axle to my wheel,
the pull to my pulley.
Her love is the steam
engine of mine soul,
the fire to mine boiler,
the tender to mine furnace.
What was with your dad today?
He's usually all...
"Absent minds
equal absent fingers."
- But today...
- Giving us a poetry assignment?
Oh, that's just part of his
interdisciplinary approach to teaching.
Ahh, that explains a lot.
Ho ho, should have known.
The giddiness, the humming.
What? What are you
guys talking about?
Daedalus is is love.
Love is a strong word,
but he does have a healthy
respect for his career.
Not with his
career, with a lady.
Uh! What? What lady?
Miss Thespis? No...
She's just his companion
for slow dances,
moonlit walks, and
candlelight dinners.
Not a girlfriend.
Then how do you explain that?
Miss Thespis, my steam engine,
I give you the inner me!
Oh, a baby-teeth necklace.
Sweet Apollo on
a flaming chariot!
They're in love!
Hey, Icarus, are you OK?
Cassandra, a little
resuscitation here.
He'll live.
What is my Dadalus doing?
This is gonna break
my mom's heart.
Mmm, Icarus, haven't your
parents been divorced for years?
Look, just because they
moved into separate homes,
live separate lives, and went
through some legal hoo-haa,
doesn't mean that they
don't love each other.
So you don't acknowledge or
accept your parents' divorce?
Poor Momalus,
I have to tell her.
Better she hear it from me
than out there on the streets.
Hercules, talk to him.
Um, Icarus, is it possible
you're overreacting... Just a bit?
I mean, Miss
Thespis is very nice.
Uh! Ohh! Taking the
home wrecker's side?
Oh, and you call
yourself friends.
You make me sick!
Well, I'm through
with you, turncoats!
Herc, uh, my mom
lives all the way in Ithaca.
I don't suppose you could
give me a ride on your Horsy?
Heh, sure.
Your mom owns this?
Yeah.
She's a mover and a shaker.
Yoo hoo, Momalus!
Is that my baby boy?
My sweet icky?
Oh, jeez, Ma, you look great.
Flatterer.
You must be hercules.
Icarus has told
me all about you.
He says you're a big hero.
Oh, well, you know,
hero-in-training.
Keep with it. Maybe someday
we'll put you on a vase.
I started this
business from scratch.
Back then, I ran
it out of my house,
made all the pottery myself.
Now I own six factories
all over Greece.
Of course, I couldn't have
done it without my little Icky.
Heh heh. He works
for me every summer.
Inspector 42 at
your service. Ha ha.
So, what brings my
Icky all the way to Ithaca?
Oh, well, I was just...
There's something you
wanna tell me, right?
I can't. I just can't.
Herc, be a dear.
Uh, Daedalus is dating someone.
Aah!
It stabs me like a knife!
Be strong, Momalus.
Daedalus? Dating?
Finally! Ha ha!
Tell me everything.
Maybe you're being a
little too strong, Momalus.
I thought he'd
never find anyone.
Your father's a genius
with everything but women.
What? Well, but doesn't
it stab you like a knife?
Ohh... Aw, sweetie,
I know it can't be easy
seeing your parents apart,
but sometimes two people
just can't make it together.
Your Dadalus loves you.
Your Momalus loves you.
You're very lucky.
Give your father a
chance for happiness.
He deserves it.
Well, she took that pretty well.
That Miss Thespis!
She's not gonna
get away with this.
She can't take my
daddy away from me.
Oh, wait. OK, so this has
nothing to do with your mom.
You're afraid Miss Thespis
will come between
you and your father.
- You're jealous.
- Jealous? Ha ha!
That's a laugh...
And don't accuse me of
some evil, diabolical plan
to get rid of Miss Thespis.
Evil, diabolical plan?
Did I jump ahead?
Icarus, you're not gonna do
something stupid, are you?
Why, no!
Hey, you're laughing evilly.
Oh, I mean, ah ha ha ha. Better?
I'm the happiest man alive.
Me, too.
I mean, the happiest
woman, not the...
Oh, you know what I'm saying.
Hey... get out, Miss Thespis!
Dadalus... Feel free to stay!
Ooh!
Oww!
Charley horse! Ow, man!
Icarus!
I can explain.
Oh! Oh, Icarus,
That was the most...
Brilliant bit of theater
I have ever seen.
The mood was so authentic.
Oh, go on.
Ya don't think the
ghost flying around part
was, uh, over the top, do ya?
Oh, no! It... It was
completely believable.
Uh, at least until the cramp.
What you really need
is a little dance training.
Watch.
And ta-da!
We call it en-dehors.
It's all in the legs.
Teach me, teach me, teach me!
Hmm. Tell you what.
I'll teach you a few dance moves
if you help me direct
the next school play.
Me? A director?
Yes, it's the chance
I've dreamed of.
Yes, it'll be nice
to work together,
especially now that
we're going to be a family.
You are so right. With
my talent and your...
Uh! Family?
That's right. I
proposed this evening.
Thespis and I are to be married.
Aah!
Icarus, you can't
stay in there forever.
Yes, I can!
I'm not coming out,
and you can't make me!
Oh, crud!
It's not the end of the world.
Oh, it's not?
Well, thanks!
Easy for you to say.
You haven't lost your family!
Well, you know, you're
not losing your family.
It's... it's just
getting bigger.
Oh, OK, look, all I want is
a Dadalus and a Momalus.
Hey, you'll have that and more.
Between gods and
mortals, I've got four parents.
Oh, Herc, what I'd do for a
simple solution out of this mess.
Hey, Pandora,
do ya own anything
that isn't jammed
with all the miseries
that torment mankind?
Eh, not really. It's my thing.
Hey, wait a minute. That's it!
Hey, you're
laughing evilly again!
Oh, right. I meant,
ah ha ha. Better?
Get back.
Get back and stay back!
Pandora, hi!
Look, sorry if I
seemed rude earlier,
pressure at home, you know.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah. Ya know what?
I know next to nothing about ya.
And doggone it, I'm curious.
So I'm curious. I
couldn't help myself.
I saw the box. I opened the box.
How was I to know it would
unleash misery on the world?
Ho, easy there. I hear ya.
Bit of a nosy rosy myself.
For example, oh, say...
The janitor's closet,
what's in there?
What exotic
secrets does it hold?
How about you, Pandora?
Ever wonder about
the janitor's closet?
- No, I don't wonder, ever.
- Oh, come on.
You never wonder
what's behind the door?
Mops and buckets? Maybe.
Or maybe, just maybe,
there's something more.
Something enticing.
I know you, Pandora.
You can't stand the curiosity.
It's like an itch ya
have to scratch!
You must know
what's behind the door!
Yes! Oh, yes, I must know!
Hey, Icarus,
There's nothing in here
but mops and buckets.
Like candy from a baby, baby.
Pandora's lunch
box is mine, all mine!
Icarus, you are handling
this really, really well.
Yeah, if I wasn't having
constant visions of disaster,
I'd say you've
come to accept it.
Oh, pish posh. No
doom lies ahead.
Everything's gonna be perfect.
Icarus...
Help me with this
confounded clasp.
Sure, Dadalus.
Son, I'm a little concerned.
You've seemed less than
enthused about Miss Thespis.
Well, if you're referring
to the ghost incident, relax.
That was just the sad
prank of a confused boy.
I'm over it.
Splendid. We shall
make one happy family.
Yes... one... Happy... family!
Uh, son, that's a little tight.
Uh, whoops! Sorry,
Dadalus. That's me.
Aphrodite's here.
♪ Aphrodite,
Aphrodite, Aphrodite ♪
♪ The goddess of love ♪
Whew! Uhh!
But it is so clammy in there.
I would love to lose the shell,
but, ya know, people always
want it for weddings and la-la.
Hi. So, look at you.
I'm guessing, what,
bride and groom?
OK, come here.
Now, when I ask "will you?"
You say, "I will."
I ask, "do you?"
You say, "I do."
I just keep it easy
because, ya know,
people in love have a hard time
following very
complicated directions.
So, all right,
well, let's get to it.
- Icarus?
- Uhh!
I just want you to know,
I am so honored to
be a part of your family.
You and your father
mean the world to me.
Oh, uh... OK.
Uh... yeah.
Hmm... Stick with
the original evil plan
or accept this new
wrinkle in my life?
Hmm? Uh, uh, carry
the two... Evil plan.
OK, did that. Did that. Went
well. Did that. Hmm. Hmm.
Well, I guess... oh, no,
the ring! Oh, got one?
Right here! Miss
Thespis, this is for you.
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Ha ha!
Icarus, what are you doing?
I'm untying this
nuptial knot, baby!
Fly, my miseries, fly!
Miseries? Oh, no.
Yeah, I have heard
about these guys.
Yes, yeah, OK. Each
one is a different...
You know, well, miserable thing.
Ooh, yeah, mm-hmm, there's
gossip. Actually, kinda fun.
Did you hear Mrs.
Pygmalion is made of clay?
It's true, every word.
Ooh, that's greed. Yuck!
And, oof... whoa!
Bad breath! Oof!
OK, yeah, I'm up to speed,
but how do we stop them?
We? Excuse me,
I'm the love goddess.
You're the hero-in-training.
Unh! OK, how do I stop them?
I dunno, the lunch
box thingy worked OK.
After I take care of this,
we are going to
have a serious talk.
Oh, yeah, sure.
He spends his time
with the other miseries.
Come back here!
Uh-oh. Better lay low.
I think that's all of them.
OK, let me guess.
Somebody is having
acceptance issues.
She's trying to steal you
away from me, Dadalus!
Kissy, kiss, kiss, and
Icarus is out of the picture!
No. Oh, Icarus. It's
not that way at all.
I... I promise.
Icarus, you sound
like a crazy person.
I know I say that a lot,
but this time I mean it.
You always mean it.
OK, but this time
I mean it mean it.
I know your kind,
missy Miss Thespis.
You are a gold digger!
Jumping the claim
I have on my pa!
OK, I hate to interrupt
such an immature tirade,
but that there is
kind of worrying me.
That? Jealousy, please. I
have a name. Let's use it!
Hey, look, Icarus, I'm
behind you 100%, bro.
I listen, I don't judge.
Just go on, please.
Well, what is it that
makes a person think
that they can just horn in on
an already perfect family unit?
It's a sickness, what can I say.
Ooh, boy. Ooh, jealousy's
feeding on his emotions.
And the way Icarus is going,
that thing is gonna bloat.
I'll stop him.
I mean, why do we need her?
We were perfectly happy
before she came along.
Aah!
What, are you kidding me?
She's taking your dad away!
Yes, sir.
That's what I'm saying.
Sing it loud, sing it proud.
Icarus! Can't you see?
He's feeding off you.
Oh, please!
All I see is everyone
turning against me
and turning towards her.
Everybody except my new
bestest buddy, jealousy.
And as far as feeding
off me, well, that's fine!
'Cause I'd rather... aah!
Sweet Apollo on
a flaming chariot!
Icarus has been
consumed by jealousy.
Not bad. Uh, a little Icky.
Wait a minute. He
was the best man, right?
Oh, fine! Now who's
going to give the toast?
Hey! Let me out of here!
Icarus, remain calm!
Yes, your father
and I will get you out.
Oh, well, on second thought...
I like it in here!
Oh, it's humid,
sure, but I like it!
I'm not coming out until
Miss Thespis leaves... forever!
Can you talk some
sense into him?
I'm a demi-god,
not a miracle worker.
I'd better go in after him.
Wait. You're
going into that guy?
Gross.
I shall accompany you.
Me, too.
You'd better hurry.
If jealousy completely
consumes Icarus,
he'll be lost forever.
Uh, define completely.
Well, once he
reaches the stomach,
it's, ya know... eww.
Right. Cassandra, you stay here
and keep jealousy occupied.
Open up!
Oh, no, come on. I'm
full. I couldn't eat another...
Ow!
Hey, come on. I'm jealousy.
Come on, gluttony is over at
the echo/narcissus wedding.
All right. Occupy him.
Hey.
Uh, hey.
So, uh, you, uh, you
a friend of the, uh,
the bride or the...
or the groom?
After this? Neither.
Heh heh. Yeah, cool.
Son, move away
from the esophagus.
Well, if it isn't little miss
take-my- daddy-away-from-me.
Icarus, your father loves me,
but I could never,
ever replace you.
Oh, but that won't stop
you from trying, will it, sister?
Unh!
Icarus, get off the uvula!
I'll get off the uvula
when she... Aah!
Icarus!
You OK?
Yeah, yeah, it's... I'm fine.
It's just... OH, that's
gonna repeat on me.
Yeah, I'm cool. So, go on.
Oh, yes, anyway, so, like,
people are always confusing
me with... With envy.
I mean, sometimes
I just wanna shout,
ya know, "People, you're
envious of what someone has!"
You're jealous of a
rival!" is that so hard?
Unh! Not unless
you're a bonehead.
Thank you! Thank you!
Somebody finally grasps the...
Are you sure you're all right?
Yeah, it's, uh,
just someone I ate.
Go on, what were you saying?
Help!
Hang on, buddy.
We're coming to get ya!
This should allow for
maximum dynamic efficiency
and a good flossing
for the monster.
Going up?
Oh, buddy.
OK, I got him.
- Embarrassed?
- No.
- Should be.
- Well, I'm not.
Well, ya should.
Well, I'm not.
Icarus! You are returned to
me in a healthful condition.
Icarus, say you're
sorry to Miss Thespis.
For what? Did I
steal her family?
Oh, Icarus, it's
not like that, honey.
Don't call me honey!
And another thing...
Whoa! What's going on out there?
Good thinking. Yeah,
this'll keep him occupied.
Not again!
Aah!
I don't wanna digest!
Oof!
En-dehors. It's all in the legs.
Wow. You saved me.
I mean, you could've
had Dadalus all to yourself.
I was almost out of the picture.
Eey!
Oh, Icarus, I don't want
you out of the picture.
I want to be in the
picture with you.
Whew! That was a close one.
No, Herc, I was
never in any danger.
Because my new step-Momalus
was looking out for me!
I never thought I'd say
this about a monster, but...
Shh. Ya don't have to say it.
I feel it, too. Ya
know, I... ow!
Go, guys!
Ya know, you guys really
have a lousy sense of timing.
Wait, wait, you're all
growing. You, oh, oh, great.
Guess he's got
nothing to feed on, huh?
Someone lost all their
jealousy, didn't they?
Uh-huh. I'm 100% jealousy free.
All right, into the box.
Hang on a second.
I'd like a little closure.
So, uh... So, uh, so,
I'll see you around, huh?
Actually, I think
this might be it.
OK, cool. Well, ya know,
if ya wanna get a hold of me,
ya know, I'm in the box. So...
Hey, wait a minute!
You two were an item?
You, listen to me, buddy,
I saw her first! She's mine!
OK, ya know what?
Hey, maybe we should
have the wedding, like now.
Right, right now.
Ha ha. Right-ee-o.
Commence the nuptials, baby!
You may kiss the
bride. Smooch away!
Off to the honeymoon!
Oh, come here,
Dadalus, step-Momalus.
One big happy family...
Hmm, what a picture.
"glad" in Gladiator? ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Whose daring deeds
are great theater? ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Is he bold? ♪
♪ No one braver ♪
♪ Is he sweet? ♪
♪ Our favorite
flavor, Hercules ♪
- ♪ What a guy ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ask his friends ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ No one's fool ♪
♪ Now the boy's in school ♪
♪ He's in trainin' ♪
♪ Sun is shinin' ♪
♪ And the nicest guy ♪
♪ No complainin' ♪
♪ He was a no one ♪
♪ Zero, zero, give
him a quick deed ♪
♪ He's our hero ♪
♪ He's the most
likely to succeed ♪
♪ From zero to hero ♪
♪ Herc is a hero ♪
♪ He'll be a hero ♪
Wait and see!
Cassandra, my
little cherry blossom,
I give you... The inner me.
What are these?
My baby teeth!
Look at those widdy
biddy little incisors, huh?
Aah!
Hey, whoop, doop, no, careful!
What if the tooth
nymph's nearby? Eww.
Good morning, class,
and a glorious morning it is.
Ahh, sweet air. Intoxicating.
What's with him?
Today, my budding inventists,
we begin on the chopulator.
This device will easily reduce
any object into much smaller bits.
It mixes, minces, dices, slices.
Its practical applications in
the kitchen alone are limitless.
Ahh, isn't that a
beautiful sound?
It reminds me of a
poem I wrote last night.
She is the fulcrum to my lever,
The axle to my wheel,
the pull to my pulley.
Her love is the steam
engine of mine soul,
the fire to mine boiler,
the tender to mine furnace.
What was with your dad today?
He's usually all...
"Absent minds
equal absent fingers."
- But today...
- Giving us a poetry assignment?
Oh, that's just part of his
interdisciplinary approach to teaching.
Ahh, that explains a lot.
Ho ho, should have known.
The giddiness, the humming.
What? What are you
guys talking about?
Daedalus is is love.
Love is a strong word,
but he does have a healthy
respect for his career.
Not with his
career, with a lady.
Uh! What? What lady?
Miss Thespis? No...
She's just his companion
for slow dances,
moonlit walks, and
candlelight dinners.
Not a girlfriend.
Then how do you explain that?
Miss Thespis, my steam engine,
I give you the inner me!
Oh, a baby-teeth necklace.
Sweet Apollo on
a flaming chariot!
They're in love!
Hey, Icarus, are you OK?
Cassandra, a little
resuscitation here.
He'll live.
What is my Dadalus doing?
This is gonna break
my mom's heart.
Mmm, Icarus, haven't your
parents been divorced for years?
Look, just because they
moved into separate homes,
live separate lives, and went
through some legal hoo-haa,
doesn't mean that they
don't love each other.
So you don't acknowledge or
accept your parents' divorce?
Poor Momalus,
I have to tell her.
Better she hear it from me
than out there on the streets.
Hercules, talk to him.
Um, Icarus, is it possible
you're overreacting... Just a bit?
I mean, Miss
Thespis is very nice.
Uh! Ohh! Taking the
home wrecker's side?
Oh, and you call
yourself friends.
You make me sick!
Well, I'm through
with you, turncoats!
Herc, uh, my mom
lives all the way in Ithaca.
I don't suppose you could
give me a ride on your Horsy?
Heh, sure.
Your mom owns this?
Yeah.
She's a mover and a shaker.
Yoo hoo, Momalus!
Is that my baby boy?
My sweet icky?
Oh, jeez, Ma, you look great.
Flatterer.
You must be hercules.
Icarus has told
me all about you.
He says you're a big hero.
Oh, well, you know,
hero-in-training.
Keep with it. Maybe someday
we'll put you on a vase.
I started this
business from scratch.
Back then, I ran
it out of my house,
made all the pottery myself.
Now I own six factories
all over Greece.
Of course, I couldn't have
done it without my little Icky.
Heh heh. He works
for me every summer.
Inspector 42 at
your service. Ha ha.
So, what brings my
Icky all the way to Ithaca?
Oh, well, I was just...
There's something you
wanna tell me, right?
I can't. I just can't.
Herc, be a dear.
Uh, Daedalus is dating someone.
Aah!
It stabs me like a knife!
Be strong, Momalus.
Daedalus? Dating?
Finally! Ha ha!
Tell me everything.
Maybe you're being a
little too strong, Momalus.
I thought he'd
never find anyone.
Your father's a genius
with everything but women.
What? Well, but doesn't
it stab you like a knife?
Ohh... Aw, sweetie,
I know it can't be easy
seeing your parents apart,
but sometimes two people
just can't make it together.
Your Dadalus loves you.
Your Momalus loves you.
You're very lucky.
Give your father a
chance for happiness.
He deserves it.
Well, she took that pretty well.
That Miss Thespis!
She's not gonna
get away with this.
She can't take my
daddy away from me.
Oh, wait. OK, so this has
nothing to do with your mom.
You're afraid Miss Thespis
will come between
you and your father.
- You're jealous.
- Jealous? Ha ha!
That's a laugh...
And don't accuse me of
some evil, diabolical plan
to get rid of Miss Thespis.
Evil, diabolical plan?
Did I jump ahead?
Icarus, you're not gonna do
something stupid, are you?
Why, no!
Hey, you're laughing evilly.
Oh, I mean, ah ha ha ha. Better?
I'm the happiest man alive.
Me, too.
I mean, the happiest
woman, not the...
Oh, you know what I'm saying.
Hey... get out, Miss Thespis!
Dadalus... Feel free to stay!
Ooh!
Oww!
Charley horse! Ow, man!
Icarus!
I can explain.
Oh! Oh, Icarus,
That was the most...
Brilliant bit of theater
I have ever seen.
The mood was so authentic.
Oh, go on.
Ya don't think the
ghost flying around part
was, uh, over the top, do ya?
Oh, no! It... It was
completely believable.
Uh, at least until the cramp.
What you really need
is a little dance training.
Watch.
And ta-da!
We call it en-dehors.
It's all in the legs.
Teach me, teach me, teach me!
Hmm. Tell you what.
I'll teach you a few dance moves
if you help me direct
the next school play.
Me? A director?
Yes, it's the chance
I've dreamed of.
Yes, it'll be nice
to work together,
especially now that
we're going to be a family.
You are so right. With
my talent and your...
Uh! Family?
That's right. I
proposed this evening.
Thespis and I are to be married.
Aah!
Icarus, you can't
stay in there forever.
Yes, I can!
I'm not coming out,
and you can't make me!
Oh, crud!
It's not the end of the world.
Oh, it's not?
Well, thanks!
Easy for you to say.
You haven't lost your family!
Well, you know, you're
not losing your family.
It's... it's just
getting bigger.
Oh, OK, look, all I want is
a Dadalus and a Momalus.
Hey, you'll have that and more.
Between gods and
mortals, I've got four parents.
Oh, Herc, what I'd do for a
simple solution out of this mess.
Hey, Pandora,
do ya own anything
that isn't jammed
with all the miseries
that torment mankind?
Eh, not really. It's my thing.
Hey, wait a minute. That's it!
Hey, you're
laughing evilly again!
Oh, right. I meant,
ah ha ha. Better?
Get back.
Get back and stay back!
Pandora, hi!
Look, sorry if I
seemed rude earlier,
pressure at home, you know.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah. Ya know what?
I know next to nothing about ya.
And doggone it, I'm curious.
So I'm curious. I
couldn't help myself.
I saw the box. I opened the box.
How was I to know it would
unleash misery on the world?
Ho, easy there. I hear ya.
Bit of a nosy rosy myself.
For example, oh, say...
The janitor's closet,
what's in there?
What exotic
secrets does it hold?
How about you, Pandora?
Ever wonder about
the janitor's closet?
- No, I don't wonder, ever.
- Oh, come on.
You never wonder
what's behind the door?
Mops and buckets? Maybe.
Or maybe, just maybe,
there's something more.
Something enticing.
I know you, Pandora.
You can't stand the curiosity.
It's like an itch ya
have to scratch!
You must know
what's behind the door!
Yes! Oh, yes, I must know!
Hey, Icarus,
There's nothing in here
but mops and buckets.
Like candy from a baby, baby.
Pandora's lunch
box is mine, all mine!
Icarus, you are handling
this really, really well.
Yeah, if I wasn't having
constant visions of disaster,
I'd say you've
come to accept it.
Oh, pish posh. No
doom lies ahead.
Everything's gonna be perfect.
Icarus...
Help me with this
confounded clasp.
Sure, Dadalus.
Son, I'm a little concerned.
You've seemed less than
enthused about Miss Thespis.
Well, if you're referring
to the ghost incident, relax.
That was just the sad
prank of a confused boy.
I'm over it.
Splendid. We shall
make one happy family.
Yes... one... Happy... family!
Uh, son, that's a little tight.
Uh, whoops! Sorry,
Dadalus. That's me.
Aphrodite's here.
♪ Aphrodite,
Aphrodite, Aphrodite ♪
♪ The goddess of love ♪
Whew! Uhh!
But it is so clammy in there.
I would love to lose the shell,
but, ya know, people always
want it for weddings and la-la.
Hi. So, look at you.
I'm guessing, what,
bride and groom?
OK, come here.
Now, when I ask "will you?"
You say, "I will."
I ask, "do you?"
You say, "I do."
I just keep it easy
because, ya know,
people in love have a hard time
following very
complicated directions.
So, all right,
well, let's get to it.
- Icarus?
- Uhh!
I just want you to know,
I am so honored to
be a part of your family.
You and your father
mean the world to me.
Oh, uh... OK.
Uh... yeah.
Hmm... Stick with
the original evil plan
or accept this new
wrinkle in my life?
Hmm? Uh, uh, carry
the two... Evil plan.
OK, did that. Did that. Went
well. Did that. Hmm. Hmm.
Well, I guess... oh, no,
the ring! Oh, got one?
Right here! Miss
Thespis, this is for you.
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Ha ha!
Icarus, what are you doing?
I'm untying this
nuptial knot, baby!
Fly, my miseries, fly!
Miseries? Oh, no.
Yeah, I have heard
about these guys.
Yes, yeah, OK. Each
one is a different...
You know, well, miserable thing.
Ooh, yeah, mm-hmm, there's
gossip. Actually, kinda fun.
Did you hear Mrs.
Pygmalion is made of clay?
It's true, every word.
Ooh, that's greed. Yuck!
And, oof... whoa!
Bad breath! Oof!
OK, yeah, I'm up to speed,
but how do we stop them?
We? Excuse me,
I'm the love goddess.
You're the hero-in-training.
Unh! OK, how do I stop them?
I dunno, the lunch
box thingy worked OK.
After I take care of this,
we are going to
have a serious talk.
Oh, yeah, sure.
He spends his time
with the other miseries.
Come back here!
Uh-oh. Better lay low.
I think that's all of them.
OK, let me guess.
Somebody is having
acceptance issues.
She's trying to steal you
away from me, Dadalus!
Kissy, kiss, kiss, and
Icarus is out of the picture!
No. Oh, Icarus. It's
not that way at all.
I... I promise.
Icarus, you sound
like a crazy person.
I know I say that a lot,
but this time I mean it.
You always mean it.
OK, but this time
I mean it mean it.
I know your kind,
missy Miss Thespis.
You are a gold digger!
Jumping the claim
I have on my pa!
OK, I hate to interrupt
such an immature tirade,
but that there is
kind of worrying me.
That? Jealousy, please. I
have a name. Let's use it!
Hey, look, Icarus, I'm
behind you 100%, bro.
I listen, I don't judge.
Just go on, please.
Well, what is it that
makes a person think
that they can just horn in on
an already perfect family unit?
It's a sickness, what can I say.
Ooh, boy. Ooh, jealousy's
feeding on his emotions.
And the way Icarus is going,
that thing is gonna bloat.
I'll stop him.
I mean, why do we need her?
We were perfectly happy
before she came along.
Aah!
What, are you kidding me?
She's taking your dad away!
Yes, sir.
That's what I'm saying.
Sing it loud, sing it proud.
Icarus! Can't you see?
He's feeding off you.
Oh, please!
All I see is everyone
turning against me
and turning towards her.
Everybody except my new
bestest buddy, jealousy.
And as far as feeding
off me, well, that's fine!
'Cause I'd rather... aah!
Sweet Apollo on
a flaming chariot!
Icarus has been
consumed by jealousy.
Not bad. Uh, a little Icky.
Wait a minute. He
was the best man, right?
Oh, fine! Now who's
going to give the toast?
Hey! Let me out of here!
Icarus, remain calm!
Yes, your father
and I will get you out.
Oh, well, on second thought...
I like it in here!
Oh, it's humid,
sure, but I like it!
I'm not coming out until
Miss Thespis leaves... forever!
Can you talk some
sense into him?
I'm a demi-god,
not a miracle worker.
I'd better go in after him.
Wait. You're
going into that guy?
Gross.
I shall accompany you.
Me, too.
You'd better hurry.
If jealousy completely
consumes Icarus,
he'll be lost forever.
Uh, define completely.
Well, once he
reaches the stomach,
it's, ya know... eww.
Right. Cassandra, you stay here
and keep jealousy occupied.
Open up!
Oh, no, come on. I'm
full. I couldn't eat another...
Ow!
Hey, come on. I'm jealousy.
Come on, gluttony is over at
the echo/narcissus wedding.
All right. Occupy him.
Hey.
Uh, hey.
So, uh, you, uh, you
a friend of the, uh,
the bride or the...
or the groom?
After this? Neither.
Heh heh. Yeah, cool.
Son, move away
from the esophagus.
Well, if it isn't little miss
take-my- daddy-away-from-me.
Icarus, your father loves me,
but I could never,
ever replace you.
Oh, but that won't stop
you from trying, will it, sister?
Unh!
Icarus, get off the uvula!
I'll get off the uvula
when she... Aah!
Icarus!
You OK?
Yeah, yeah, it's... I'm fine.
It's just... OH, that's
gonna repeat on me.
Yeah, I'm cool. So, go on.
Oh, yes, anyway, so, like,
people are always confusing
me with... With envy.
I mean, sometimes
I just wanna shout,
ya know, "People, you're
envious of what someone has!"
You're jealous of a
rival!" is that so hard?
Unh! Not unless
you're a bonehead.
Thank you! Thank you!
Somebody finally grasps the...
Are you sure you're all right?
Yeah, it's, uh,
just someone I ate.
Go on, what were you saying?
Help!
Hang on, buddy.
We're coming to get ya!
This should allow for
maximum dynamic efficiency
and a good flossing
for the monster.
Going up?
Oh, buddy.
OK, I got him.
- Embarrassed?
- No.
- Should be.
- Well, I'm not.
Well, ya should.
Well, I'm not.
Icarus! You are returned to
me in a healthful condition.
Icarus, say you're
sorry to Miss Thespis.
For what? Did I
steal her family?
Oh, Icarus, it's
not like that, honey.
Don't call me honey!
And another thing...
Whoa! What's going on out there?
Good thinking. Yeah,
this'll keep him occupied.
Not again!
Aah!
I don't wanna digest!
Oof!
En-dehors. It's all in the legs.
Wow. You saved me.
I mean, you could've
had Dadalus all to yourself.
I was almost out of the picture.
Eey!
Oh, Icarus, I don't want
you out of the picture.
I want to be in the
picture with you.
Whew! That was a close one.
No, Herc, I was
never in any danger.
Because my new step-Momalus
was looking out for me!
I never thought I'd say
this about a monster, but...
Shh. Ya don't have to say it.
I feel it, too. Ya
know, I... ow!
Go, guys!
Ya know, you guys really
have a lousy sense of timing.
Wait, wait, you're all
growing. You, oh, oh, great.
Guess he's got
nothing to feed on, huh?
Someone lost all their
jealousy, didn't they?
Uh-huh. I'm 100% jealousy free.
All right, into the box.
Hang on a second.
I'd like a little closure.
So, uh... So, uh, so,
I'll see you around, huh?
Actually, I think
this might be it.
OK, cool. Well, ya know,
if ya wanna get a hold of me,
ya know, I'm in the box. So...
Hey, wait a minute!
You two were an item?
You, listen to me, buddy,
I saw her first! She's mine!
OK, ya know what?
Hey, maybe we should
have the wedding, like now.
Right, right now.
Ha ha. Right-ee-o.
Commence the nuptials, baby!
You may kiss the
bride. Smooch away!
Off to the honeymoon!
Oh, come here,
Dadalus, step-Momalus.
One big happy family...
Hmm, what a picture.