Hercules (1998–1999): Season 1, Episode 48 - Hercules and the Odyssey Experience - full transcript
♪ Who put the
"glad" in gladiator? ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Whose daring deeds
are great theater? ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Is he bold? ♪
♪ No one braver ♪
♪ Is he sweet? ♪
♪ Our favorite
flavor, Hercules ♪
- ♪ What a guy ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ask his friends ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ No one's fool ♪
♪ Now, the boy's in school ♪
♪ He's in trainin' ♪
♪ Sun is shinin' ♪
♪ And the nicest guy ♪
♪ No complainin' ♪
♪ He was a no one ♪
♪ Zero, zero, give
him a quick deed ♪
♪ He's our hero ♪
♪ He's the most
likely to succeed ♪
♪ From zero to hero ♪
♪ Herc is a hero ♪
♪ He'll be a hero ♪
Wait and see!
Of all the heroes
in ancient Greece,
none was more steadfast
than Odysseus, King of Ithaca.
The story of Odysseus'
incredible journey
home from Troy
is told in the epic
poem The Odyssey.
What began as a simple voyage
turned into a 20-year struggle,
an odyssey if you will.
Odysseus encountered
storms, a brutal cyclops,
angry gods, terrifying giants,
alluring, yet deadly, sirens,
and more.
During these tough years,
home eluded Odysseus.
But frankly, the guy
couldn't buy a break.
But he never gave up, nor
did his faithful wife, Penelope.
She never wavered in her belief
that her husband would return.
Finally, the loving
couple reunited,
and life returned to normal.
Well, sort of.
As Odysseus' fame grew,
he did what many have
done over the ages...
He cashed in... big time.
Odysseus gathered mementos
of his celebrated journey
and toured them
throughout Greece.
The response was overwhelming.
"Odyssey-mania" swept the land.
Citizens flocked to the show,
including a certain
hero in training.
Ah, thank you so much
for inviting me along, sir.
Tickets have been
sold out for weeks.
Well, my little Cassandra's
in one of her blue moods.
But she said you're nuts
for this epic poem, hero stuff.
Absolutely!
Didn't you just
love The Odyssey?
Never read it. I won
these tickets at the office.
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
Looks like another
overflow crowd, Penelope.
Yes, your story is
inspirational, dear.
Oh, the gift shop just ran out of
souvenir lotus blossoms, Your Highness.
Mmm, push the
siren song collection.
Ooh, you're good.
By the gods, this
odyssey experience
is like a license to mint money.
Yes, you're very cunning, dear.
Excuse me, Your Highness.
Um, you probably
don't remember me.
Right you are.
Uh, eh, wait. You're that
student of Philoctetes.
- Um...
- Hercules. Yeah.
Uh, I... I... I was wondering if
you'd sign my copy of The Odyssey?
It's... it's, like,
my favorite scroll.
Of course it is.
"To Hercules, good
luck on your odyssey."
You know, Hercules, I
have a son about your age.
Telemachus!
Oh, where is that boy?
Standing in your shadow, dear.
Step up, son.
Don't be bashful.
Say hello to Hercules.
Whatever you say, father.
Hello, Hercules.
Oh, nice to meet
you, Telemachus.
Here you go, Hercules.
Do me a favor...
Spend some time with Telemachus.
He's a little...
How shall I say...
uh, timid.
There! This might be worth
something some day, eh?
Ah, thank you, sir.
I... I'll, uh, do my best.
Telemachus, we're gonna check
out the ship. You wanna come along?
Whatever you say.
Ah, your father is
a very great man.
That's what people
tell me... all the time.
You must've been very proud when,
when you read The Odyssey, huh?
I never read it.
Those epic poems don't
really do anything for me.
See, I'm not the only one.
Look at this. Look at
this, huh? Look at this.
Boy, I tell you.
Explain to me why you
didn't see a show like this
for the Argo, huh?
We were at sea for 30 years,
and that was before
the automatic anchor.
It's all about hype.
Lynceus, Butes, it's
Hercules, remember?
These guys are actual Argonauts.
Argo-what's?
Do you mean to tell me
you've never heard the story
of "Jason and the Argonauts'
quest for the golden fleece?"
Tell me it's not so.
Sorry, I'm... not big on sports.
Oh, Butes is the
beekeeper of the ship,
and Lynceus is the rigger.
Ah, I... I... I... I'm
sorry, but if... if I may...
Was the rigger,
"was the rigger."
What happened?
One day we find
the golden fleece...
the next day, unemployed.
Gee, I'm sorry. Ooh, look...
King Aeolus' bag of winds.
Odysseus' crew thought
there was a treasure inside.
They opened it and
unleashed this wicked hurricane.
Mmm, tough break.
What do they got in there now,
some kind of pillow stuffing?
How come there's never a kite
around when you really need it?
The ship... it's moving!
Telemachus!
My fault.
"Let's check out the
Athenian olive works," I said.
No, wasn't good enough for you.
"I don't wanna see
the olive works."
No, you had to see the
Odyssey experience.
- How do you like it?
- How do you suppose they fit
all that wind into
such a small bag?
How do you suppose you fit
such a small brain into a big head?
Huh? I'll tell you what...
If I see king Aeolus, I'll
ask about the wind, OK?
Crying out loud, at this
rate, maybe we'll land on him.
How do you like that? That would
be the king Aeolus experience.
Telemachus.
There, there. He'll be fine.
Odysseus, Penelope,
City-state Trooper, Chipecles.
We've received a
report of a missing boy.
Yes, our son, Telemachus.
Kids... you work and scrimp
and next thing you know,
the little ingrates
decide to take a hike.
No, no, you don't understand.
Telemachus is gentle
and kind and good.
So let me ask you
this about the punk...
Was he withdrawn, have
trouble making friends?
Well, he is a bit shy,
but it's not like that.
Someone opened the bag of
winds given to me by King Aeolus.
And you blame the
kid? Ah, the plot thickens.
No wonder he
high-tailed it out of here.
Can't you see he didn't
walk out of here by choice?
Ahh, kidnapping, eh?
Well, why didn't you say so?
That's a whole
different kettle of fish.
Hey, the view is pretty
terrific from up here.
We gotta do something!
Do? Do? What can we do, hmm?
We're on a flying ship
born by a magic cyclone.
It's hopeless!
We could tie up
the bag of winds.
Unless, of course, we
could tie up the bag of winds.
You're right.
It's a stupid idea.
No, no, no, it's a great idea.
It's too far.
You could lower me.
That is, if you don't
think I'll mess up.
You are really strong, right?
I won't drop you. I promise.
Even though our time
is short, Telemachus,
let me just take a moment
to say, "great idea!"
Oh! We made it.
What a rush.
You saved us, son.
Every kidnapping
investigation begins with motive.
Do you have any enemies?
I... I... I don't see how...
Let me be the judge
of what's important.
Of course I have enemies!
Haven't you read The Odyssey?
Sorry, missed it.
Well, there's
Polyphemus the cyclops,
Poseidon the God of the
Sea, half the royals in Ithaca.
Not to mention all the
suitors who pursued me
while you were gone.
Suitors? You didn't
tell me you had suitors.
Don't you remember all the
men you slew outside the palace?
I thought they were salesmen.
Ah, sounds like
problems at home.
Maybe junior staged the
kidnapping himself just to get away.
- It was a magic cyclone!
- It was a magic cyclone!
Hey! You wanna stick with
that story, that's your business.
Oh, we're wasting time.
I'm going to look for
Telemachus myself.
What are you doing?
Going with you.
The last time you left I
didn't see you for 20 years.
Hold it! We'll take
the police barge.
You just might have something
with this windbag lead.
Gentlemen, no need to thank me
for my terrific "Tie up
the bag of winds" idea.
Now, as the most seasoned
and best-looking sailor
on board this vessel, I
hearby declare myself captain.
That's right... skipper, the big
cheese, "Made it, ma," top of the world.
- Which way do we go, captain?
- Questions already, Hercules?
Well, I'm gonna tell you something,
and I'm gonna tell you once.
I will not have my authority
challenged in this manner.
There's a word for that,
and the word is mutiny!
Do you hear that?
Those voices,
they're so... inviting...
alluring... enchanting.
Yeah, nice singing.
Oh, my gosh! The sirens!
Hey, don't listen!
The... The Odyssey says
that the sirens use their voices
to lure sailors into
crashing on the rocks.
A mighty snappy tune. I like it.
Plus, they're babes.
As the beekeeper of the Argo,
you must've made
lots of beeswax.
Beeswax?
I never leave home without it.
I'm clearly the one with
appreciation for the arts.
Let me just say...
here I come, ladies!
Make a hole. Make
it wide. Step aside.
We've got to plug our ears.
What... ooh.
Here, you're the only one strong
enough to stop the rest of us.
Let me go, please.
Have you no decency, man?
Yes, certainly, they've lured
many a sailor to a watery grave,
but they could change.
And I, for one, happen to
think they deserve that chance.
How many of you are
with me? A couple of you.
They move me.
Hey, hey, come on!
Let me out of here!
Let me go. I'm fine. I mean it.
Uh, sorry, can't hear you.
Say, by the way,
who's steering the ship?
No, really, that actually
just... suddenly... who...
Let's see, one, two,
three, and there's him.
No one is steering
the... Hercules!
No one is steering the ship!
It's no use. Your pleas
just aren't getting through.
Ah! We're gonna
sink! It's all over!
My whole life is flashing
in front of my eyes!
I love you, ladies.
I still love you.
Aaah!
Why didn't you
guys say something?
Hey, where's Vic?
Vic!
Ah, nothing like a refreshing
swim to perk you right up.
I hate you.
We're stuck on a rocky island
in the middle of Zeus
only knows where...
No food, no water, no
food, no compass, no food.
Have I mentioned food?
We could build a raft
and sail back to civilization.
Do you love the boy?
He has the best ideas.
I'm telling you... I... I love him,
and I love every idea he gets.
Let me just ask you this,
junior... ever hear of an ax?
We have no tools!
Hey, hero rule number 74 says,
"Always be ready to improvise."
There's the logs...
And here's the tools.
Mmm, I'm getting a
hernia just watching.
OK, now we're talking, let that
be a lesson to you naysayers
who don't know the
value of a good idea.
All right, now, Hercules,
you build the raft.
I, of course, will
be the captain.
Uh, Vic, you and
the answer man here
go scrounge us up some eats.
Aye, aye, captain.
I always liked him.
Timber.
By extrapolating
from the trajectory
of that ship when it blew away, I
believe we're on the right course.
Now, this, uh, Odyssey of
yours is an unbelievable story.
Yes, yes. It was quite amazing.
No, no, no, I'm saying I
don't believe it, not a word.
I don't know who's worse...
The lying father or the punk son.
Hey, we're in luck.
Somebody must've made this path.
Oh, somebody big.
I'm sure they won't
mind sharing their food,
nothing like island hospitality.
Hello?! Anybody home?
Sir, maybe this isn't
such a good idea.
Oh, posh! I'm sure they
won't mind if we look inside.
Hey, this is some spread.
They sure grow
them big out here.
Aaah!
You don't know the half of it.
Hello, there.
The name's Vic. I'm from Athens,
well, not Athens
proper, a suburb actually.
Uh, hope you don't mind
us barging in like this.
Ha ha ha. Dinner!
What did I tell you?
Island hospitality.
Thank you, sir.
That was a warm invitation,
but our friends are waiting.
If we could just
borrow a little food.
Forgive me if I
was being obtuse.
I am not inviting you to dinner.
Rather, I will be
eating you for dinner.
I got that.
Real smart, pint-size.
Who are you?
I'm nobody, sir.
Ah, finished.
Not bad.
Yes, and as usual, potent
leadership was the key.
Now, all we need are
those yahoos with the food.
They've been gone a long
time. I'm gonna go look for them.
So... who's going to be first...
Vic from the suburbs
or little nobody?
You! Ow! Knock it off!
Ow! Nobody is blinding me!
Nobody is blinding me!
So nobody's blinding
him. What's the big deal?
He's just trying
to get attention.
Nobody's listening,
you big baby!
Hold still, you little pest!
Oh, sheep.
Wait a minute. I
don't have any sheep.
Aah, run away!
- Let's go!
- Ahh!
Run! Let's get out of
here! Please! Quick!
How hard can it be to
find some lousy fruit?
Do I have to do
everything myself?
Aah! Cyclopses! Aah!
Dinners-es!
Hurry! Faster! Faster!
Run for your life!
Hey, come back here!
- Aah!
- Aah!
You know, the plural
of cyclops is cyclopes,
not "cyclopses."
- Yeah?
- I like to be precise.
All right, Mr. Dictionary,
to be precise...
We're doomed!
I concur.
I got dibs on the pudgy one.
- Ugh!
- Huh?
Come on. Get on.
Get him!
I'm not sure he's thought
this through completely.
Whoa!
Aaaah!
And don't come back!
Cops have a sixth
sense for trouble.
And right now,
mine's all tingly.
Ditto for my woman's intuition.
Yes, I have the feeling that
I've been in this place before.
Ah, blast! I wish I could
see through this fog.
It's the domain of
Scylla and Charybdis!
We must turn around!
Slow down, chief. I have
to spell it for my report.
We must turn around!
We don't have the oar power
to turn back against the current.
Oh, this is bad!
- How bad?
- Bad!
Why anybody ever leaves the
city-state limits is beyond me.
It's the passage between
Scylla and Charybdis.
- Who?
- You guys really need to read that scroll.
Looks like we're being sucked
into the mouth of a toothy whirlpool.
What now, smart guy?
We steer straight and
call upon the gods for help.
Caught between a monster,
and a vicious whirlpool...
Now, that's a toughie.
Now that is one funky monster.
You'll go hungry today, monster.
Paddle! Paddle!
Telemachus?
Mother?
Hello, dear.
Mother, what are you doing here?
Uh, ironically, we
came to save you.
Herc, my parents are
being sucked into Charybdis!
It's up to you to save
them, Telemachus.
You can do it!
All right, change course.
We're heading for the whirlpool.
Hey, kid, if you think I'm
putting myself in danger
just to save your...
rich, king, father who's sure
to give me a big reward...
Here we come, Your Highness!
Make the check payable to
Lynceus! That's with a "Y".
Take my hand, mother.
Go on, ma'am, hurry.
You're next.
What about you?
If I let go, we'll be
sucked right down.
Save yourself, man!
I take back those things I said.
You're OK in my scroll.
Father, let go of the
tiller and grab the rope.
I'll be sucked
into the whirlpool.
Trust me, Dad!
Grab a hold of me!
Telemachus dear,
you've blossomed.
Aaah!
Odysseus!
You got him!
Thank you, son. You saved me.
You're not the only
one. He saved us all.
Yes, sir, he did.
He absolutely did.
B... But, wait... He learned
a great deal on this voyage...
from the captain if I may say,
a great teacher of lessons...
Captain Lynceus with a "Y".
If we get out of this, you
always have a job in Ithaca.
You too, Butes.
I'm a beekeeper.
Isn't that interesting?
Herc!
I'm very proud of you, son.
You have to tell me
all about your odyssey.
I'd love to, father.
Did someone say "father"?
Father.
Nice timing.
I've been looking all
over for you, son. Ha!
Can I give you a lift?
You must be Odysseus.
Ah, loved your scroll.
It's the hot read on Olympus.
I'm honored, Oh Mighty Zeus.
Allow me to introduce
my son, Telemachus.
You must be very proud.
I truly am.
Doesn't he just give
you fits sometimes?
Don't even get me started.
"glad" in gladiator? ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Whose daring deeds
are great theater? ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Is he bold? ♪
♪ No one braver ♪
♪ Is he sweet? ♪
♪ Our favorite
flavor, Hercules ♪
- ♪ What a guy ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ask his friends ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ No one's fool ♪
♪ Now, the boy's in school ♪
♪ He's in trainin' ♪
♪ Sun is shinin' ♪
♪ And the nicest guy ♪
♪ No complainin' ♪
♪ He was a no one ♪
♪ Zero, zero, give
him a quick deed ♪
♪ He's our hero ♪
♪ He's the most
likely to succeed ♪
♪ From zero to hero ♪
♪ Herc is a hero ♪
♪ He'll be a hero ♪
Wait and see!
Of all the heroes
in ancient Greece,
none was more steadfast
than Odysseus, King of Ithaca.
The story of Odysseus'
incredible journey
home from Troy
is told in the epic
poem The Odyssey.
What began as a simple voyage
turned into a 20-year struggle,
an odyssey if you will.
Odysseus encountered
storms, a brutal cyclops,
angry gods, terrifying giants,
alluring, yet deadly, sirens,
and more.
During these tough years,
home eluded Odysseus.
But frankly, the guy
couldn't buy a break.
But he never gave up, nor
did his faithful wife, Penelope.
She never wavered in her belief
that her husband would return.
Finally, the loving
couple reunited,
and life returned to normal.
Well, sort of.
As Odysseus' fame grew,
he did what many have
done over the ages...
He cashed in... big time.
Odysseus gathered mementos
of his celebrated journey
and toured them
throughout Greece.
The response was overwhelming.
"Odyssey-mania" swept the land.
Citizens flocked to the show,
including a certain
hero in training.
Ah, thank you so much
for inviting me along, sir.
Tickets have been
sold out for weeks.
Well, my little Cassandra's
in one of her blue moods.
But she said you're nuts
for this epic poem, hero stuff.
Absolutely!
Didn't you just
love The Odyssey?
Never read it. I won
these tickets at the office.
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
Looks like another
overflow crowd, Penelope.
Yes, your story is
inspirational, dear.
Oh, the gift shop just ran out of
souvenir lotus blossoms, Your Highness.
Mmm, push the
siren song collection.
Ooh, you're good.
By the gods, this
odyssey experience
is like a license to mint money.
Yes, you're very cunning, dear.
Excuse me, Your Highness.
Um, you probably
don't remember me.
Right you are.
Uh, eh, wait. You're that
student of Philoctetes.
- Um...
- Hercules. Yeah.
Uh, I... I... I was wondering if
you'd sign my copy of The Odyssey?
It's... it's, like,
my favorite scroll.
Of course it is.
"To Hercules, good
luck on your odyssey."
You know, Hercules, I
have a son about your age.
Telemachus!
Oh, where is that boy?
Standing in your shadow, dear.
Step up, son.
Don't be bashful.
Say hello to Hercules.
Whatever you say, father.
Hello, Hercules.
Oh, nice to meet
you, Telemachus.
Here you go, Hercules.
Do me a favor...
Spend some time with Telemachus.
He's a little...
How shall I say...
uh, timid.
There! This might be worth
something some day, eh?
Ah, thank you, sir.
I... I'll, uh, do my best.
Telemachus, we're gonna check
out the ship. You wanna come along?
Whatever you say.
Ah, your father is
a very great man.
That's what people
tell me... all the time.
You must've been very proud when,
when you read The Odyssey, huh?
I never read it.
Those epic poems don't
really do anything for me.
See, I'm not the only one.
Look at this. Look at
this, huh? Look at this.
Boy, I tell you.
Explain to me why you
didn't see a show like this
for the Argo, huh?
We were at sea for 30 years,
and that was before
the automatic anchor.
It's all about hype.
Lynceus, Butes, it's
Hercules, remember?
These guys are actual Argonauts.
Argo-what's?
Do you mean to tell me
you've never heard the story
of "Jason and the Argonauts'
quest for the golden fleece?"
Tell me it's not so.
Sorry, I'm... not big on sports.
Oh, Butes is the
beekeeper of the ship,
and Lynceus is the rigger.
Ah, I... I... I... I'm
sorry, but if... if I may...
Was the rigger,
"was the rigger."
What happened?
One day we find
the golden fleece...
the next day, unemployed.
Gee, I'm sorry. Ooh, look...
King Aeolus' bag of winds.
Odysseus' crew thought
there was a treasure inside.
They opened it and
unleashed this wicked hurricane.
Mmm, tough break.
What do they got in there now,
some kind of pillow stuffing?
How come there's never a kite
around when you really need it?
The ship... it's moving!
Telemachus!
My fault.
"Let's check out the
Athenian olive works," I said.
No, wasn't good enough for you.
"I don't wanna see
the olive works."
No, you had to see the
Odyssey experience.
- How do you like it?
- How do you suppose they fit
all that wind into
such a small bag?
How do you suppose you fit
such a small brain into a big head?
Huh? I'll tell you what...
If I see king Aeolus, I'll
ask about the wind, OK?
Crying out loud, at this
rate, maybe we'll land on him.
How do you like that? That would
be the king Aeolus experience.
Telemachus.
There, there. He'll be fine.
Odysseus, Penelope,
City-state Trooper, Chipecles.
We've received a
report of a missing boy.
Yes, our son, Telemachus.
Kids... you work and scrimp
and next thing you know,
the little ingrates
decide to take a hike.
No, no, you don't understand.
Telemachus is gentle
and kind and good.
So let me ask you
this about the punk...
Was he withdrawn, have
trouble making friends?
Well, he is a bit shy,
but it's not like that.
Someone opened the bag of
winds given to me by King Aeolus.
And you blame the
kid? Ah, the plot thickens.
No wonder he
high-tailed it out of here.
Can't you see he didn't
walk out of here by choice?
Ahh, kidnapping, eh?
Well, why didn't you say so?
That's a whole
different kettle of fish.
Hey, the view is pretty
terrific from up here.
We gotta do something!
Do? Do? What can we do, hmm?
We're on a flying ship
born by a magic cyclone.
It's hopeless!
We could tie up
the bag of winds.
Unless, of course, we
could tie up the bag of winds.
You're right.
It's a stupid idea.
No, no, no, it's a great idea.
It's too far.
You could lower me.
That is, if you don't
think I'll mess up.
You are really strong, right?
I won't drop you. I promise.
Even though our time
is short, Telemachus,
let me just take a moment
to say, "great idea!"
Oh! We made it.
What a rush.
You saved us, son.
Every kidnapping
investigation begins with motive.
Do you have any enemies?
I... I... I don't see how...
Let me be the judge
of what's important.
Of course I have enemies!
Haven't you read The Odyssey?
Sorry, missed it.
Well, there's
Polyphemus the cyclops,
Poseidon the God of the
Sea, half the royals in Ithaca.
Not to mention all the
suitors who pursued me
while you were gone.
Suitors? You didn't
tell me you had suitors.
Don't you remember all the
men you slew outside the palace?
I thought they were salesmen.
Ah, sounds like
problems at home.
Maybe junior staged the
kidnapping himself just to get away.
- It was a magic cyclone!
- It was a magic cyclone!
Hey! You wanna stick with
that story, that's your business.
Oh, we're wasting time.
I'm going to look for
Telemachus myself.
What are you doing?
Going with you.
The last time you left I
didn't see you for 20 years.
Hold it! We'll take
the police barge.
You just might have something
with this windbag lead.
Gentlemen, no need to thank me
for my terrific "Tie up
the bag of winds" idea.
Now, as the most seasoned
and best-looking sailor
on board this vessel, I
hearby declare myself captain.
That's right... skipper, the big
cheese, "Made it, ma," top of the world.
- Which way do we go, captain?
- Questions already, Hercules?
Well, I'm gonna tell you something,
and I'm gonna tell you once.
I will not have my authority
challenged in this manner.
There's a word for that,
and the word is mutiny!
Do you hear that?
Those voices,
they're so... inviting...
alluring... enchanting.
Yeah, nice singing.
Oh, my gosh! The sirens!
Hey, don't listen!
The... The Odyssey says
that the sirens use their voices
to lure sailors into
crashing on the rocks.
A mighty snappy tune. I like it.
Plus, they're babes.
As the beekeeper of the Argo,
you must've made
lots of beeswax.
Beeswax?
I never leave home without it.
I'm clearly the one with
appreciation for the arts.
Let me just say...
here I come, ladies!
Make a hole. Make
it wide. Step aside.
We've got to plug our ears.
What... ooh.
Here, you're the only one strong
enough to stop the rest of us.
Let me go, please.
Have you no decency, man?
Yes, certainly, they've lured
many a sailor to a watery grave,
but they could change.
And I, for one, happen to
think they deserve that chance.
How many of you are
with me? A couple of you.
They move me.
Hey, hey, come on!
Let me out of here!
Let me go. I'm fine. I mean it.
Uh, sorry, can't hear you.
Say, by the way,
who's steering the ship?
No, really, that actually
just... suddenly... who...
Let's see, one, two,
three, and there's him.
No one is steering
the... Hercules!
No one is steering the ship!
It's no use. Your pleas
just aren't getting through.
Ah! We're gonna
sink! It's all over!
My whole life is flashing
in front of my eyes!
I love you, ladies.
I still love you.
Aaah!
Why didn't you
guys say something?
Hey, where's Vic?
Vic!
Ah, nothing like a refreshing
swim to perk you right up.
I hate you.
We're stuck on a rocky island
in the middle of Zeus
only knows where...
No food, no water, no
food, no compass, no food.
Have I mentioned food?
We could build a raft
and sail back to civilization.
Do you love the boy?
He has the best ideas.
I'm telling you... I... I love him,
and I love every idea he gets.
Let me just ask you this,
junior... ever hear of an ax?
We have no tools!
Hey, hero rule number 74 says,
"Always be ready to improvise."
There's the logs...
And here's the tools.
Mmm, I'm getting a
hernia just watching.
OK, now we're talking, let that
be a lesson to you naysayers
who don't know the
value of a good idea.
All right, now, Hercules,
you build the raft.
I, of course, will
be the captain.
Uh, Vic, you and
the answer man here
go scrounge us up some eats.
Aye, aye, captain.
I always liked him.
Timber.
By extrapolating
from the trajectory
of that ship when it blew away, I
believe we're on the right course.
Now, this, uh, Odyssey of
yours is an unbelievable story.
Yes, yes. It was quite amazing.
No, no, no, I'm saying I
don't believe it, not a word.
I don't know who's worse...
The lying father or the punk son.
Hey, we're in luck.
Somebody must've made this path.
Oh, somebody big.
I'm sure they won't
mind sharing their food,
nothing like island hospitality.
Hello?! Anybody home?
Sir, maybe this isn't
such a good idea.
Oh, posh! I'm sure they
won't mind if we look inside.
Hey, this is some spread.
They sure grow
them big out here.
Aaah!
You don't know the half of it.
Hello, there.
The name's Vic. I'm from Athens,
well, not Athens
proper, a suburb actually.
Uh, hope you don't mind
us barging in like this.
Ha ha ha. Dinner!
What did I tell you?
Island hospitality.
Thank you, sir.
That was a warm invitation,
but our friends are waiting.
If we could just
borrow a little food.
Forgive me if I
was being obtuse.
I am not inviting you to dinner.
Rather, I will be
eating you for dinner.
I got that.
Real smart, pint-size.
Who are you?
I'm nobody, sir.
Ah, finished.
Not bad.
Yes, and as usual, potent
leadership was the key.
Now, all we need are
those yahoos with the food.
They've been gone a long
time. I'm gonna go look for them.
So... who's going to be first...
Vic from the suburbs
or little nobody?
You! Ow! Knock it off!
Ow! Nobody is blinding me!
Nobody is blinding me!
So nobody's blinding
him. What's the big deal?
He's just trying
to get attention.
Nobody's listening,
you big baby!
Hold still, you little pest!
Oh, sheep.
Wait a minute. I
don't have any sheep.
Aah, run away!
- Let's go!
- Ahh!
Run! Let's get out of
here! Please! Quick!
How hard can it be to
find some lousy fruit?
Do I have to do
everything myself?
Aah! Cyclopses! Aah!
Dinners-es!
Hurry! Faster! Faster!
Run for your life!
Hey, come back here!
- Aah!
- Aah!
You know, the plural
of cyclops is cyclopes,
not "cyclopses."
- Yeah?
- I like to be precise.
All right, Mr. Dictionary,
to be precise...
We're doomed!
I concur.
I got dibs on the pudgy one.
- Ugh!
- Huh?
Come on. Get on.
Get him!
I'm not sure he's thought
this through completely.
Whoa!
Aaaah!
And don't come back!
Cops have a sixth
sense for trouble.
And right now,
mine's all tingly.
Ditto for my woman's intuition.
Yes, I have the feeling that
I've been in this place before.
Ah, blast! I wish I could
see through this fog.
It's the domain of
Scylla and Charybdis!
We must turn around!
Slow down, chief. I have
to spell it for my report.
We must turn around!
We don't have the oar power
to turn back against the current.
Oh, this is bad!
- How bad?
- Bad!
Why anybody ever leaves the
city-state limits is beyond me.
It's the passage between
Scylla and Charybdis.
- Who?
- You guys really need to read that scroll.
Looks like we're being sucked
into the mouth of a toothy whirlpool.
What now, smart guy?
We steer straight and
call upon the gods for help.
Caught between a monster,
and a vicious whirlpool...
Now, that's a toughie.
Now that is one funky monster.
You'll go hungry today, monster.
Paddle! Paddle!
Telemachus?
Mother?
Hello, dear.
Mother, what are you doing here?
Uh, ironically, we
came to save you.
Herc, my parents are
being sucked into Charybdis!
It's up to you to save
them, Telemachus.
You can do it!
All right, change course.
We're heading for the whirlpool.
Hey, kid, if you think I'm
putting myself in danger
just to save your...
rich, king, father who's sure
to give me a big reward...
Here we come, Your Highness!
Make the check payable to
Lynceus! That's with a "Y".
Take my hand, mother.
Go on, ma'am, hurry.
You're next.
What about you?
If I let go, we'll be
sucked right down.
Save yourself, man!
I take back those things I said.
You're OK in my scroll.
Father, let go of the
tiller and grab the rope.
I'll be sucked
into the whirlpool.
Trust me, Dad!
Grab a hold of me!
Telemachus dear,
you've blossomed.
Aaah!
Odysseus!
You got him!
Thank you, son. You saved me.
You're not the only
one. He saved us all.
Yes, sir, he did.
He absolutely did.
B... But, wait... He learned
a great deal on this voyage...
from the captain if I may say,
a great teacher of lessons...
Captain Lynceus with a "Y".
If we get out of this, you
always have a job in Ithaca.
You too, Butes.
I'm a beekeeper.
Isn't that interesting?
Herc!
I'm very proud of you, son.
You have to tell me
all about your odyssey.
I'd love to, father.
Did someone say "father"?
Father.
Nice timing.
I've been looking all
over for you, son. Ha!
Can I give you a lift?
You must be Odysseus.
Ah, loved your scroll.
It's the hot read on Olympus.
I'm honored, Oh Mighty Zeus.
Allow me to introduce
my son, Telemachus.
You must be very proud.
I truly am.
Doesn't he just give
you fits sometimes?
Don't even get me started.